text:
GOVERNMENTAL IMPACT ON SCIENCE DURING WORLD WAR II represents the effect of public administration on technological development that provided many advantages to the armed forces, economies and societies in their strategies during the war.

Pre-war scientific research

By implementing the notion that something needs to be done, political leaders influence scientists. For example, when discussing the development of weapons in order to protect the country, no urgency would arise if emphasis was not placed on the word ‘need.’ Urgency applies pressure on the scientists which leads to stress and paranoia. With these aspects bestowed upon a person, competition to succeed before someone else has, more often than not, proven to be the answer. This relieves stress and makes both the person doing the work and the government, who now has what they wanted, happy… a cruel psychological mind game played by the government.

Political-scientific relationship

With the scientific communities largely dependent on government funding, intrigues by individuals in the bureaucracies, and removal of freedoms due to the wartime environment, and virtual nationalisation of industrial research and development for the war effort governments influences on science escalated substantially during times of war.

Because the scientists were the personnel required to aid war effort of various belligerents, they lost both scientific and personal freedoms. Since they were too busy developing technologies for the military, they had little, if any, time to work on their own research. Along with that, much time was needed for research, resulting in increasing disassociation with their families.

Financing wartime science

Money is a very powerful tool. That is why government funding was, and still is today, a way for nations to influence their respective scientists. With funding, the opportunity to expand research becomes present. Since more enhanced equipment can be harnessed and the most qualified men are at hand to operate it, more productive results come forth. In 1936, the Four Year Plan for rearmament and autarky, a plan assembled after the Treaty of Versailles to help modernize the German military, put in large amounts of money and resources in new, science-based technologies.[1] Moreover, aerodynamic researchers in Germany received generous funding to construct wind tunnels and mathematically design aircraft, missiles, and torpedoes.[2] Since these technologies were developed with the support of government funding, it is discernible that many scientists and scientific programs saw this as beneficial for their nation’s military and overall war effort.

Manhattan Project

[A few months after he was put in charge of fast neutron research, Berkeley physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer convened a conference on the topic of nuclear weapon design.] The most often cited example of government impact on science is the development of the atomic bomb under the auspices of the Office of Scientific Research and Development that proved the United States the option to not conduct the assault on Japan, and end the war earlier. The result of scientific skills deficiency, decisions of political leaders had no other choice but to seek the assistance of their countries most knowledgeable, scientists. Though nations from all over the globe have their own range of scientists, physicists and chemists were the primary source for help during World War II. These men were the individuals primarily responsible for the development of innovative technology, such as the atomic bomb, during the war. Without these developments, the war would have been stuck in first gear, devoid of continuity.

The quest for the atomic bomb was steadily growing stronger due to the new scientific developments coming about. In 1922, just four years after World War I, a man by the name of F.W. Aston made an intriguing statement. Aston, a Nobel Laureate in chemistry, claimed that should atomic energy ever be released in practical form, “the human race will have at its command powers beyond the dreams of science fiction.”[3] This stimulated the minds of many political leaders. It seemed as though power would substantially increase as a result of the creation and possession of this so-called ‘weapon of mass-destruction’. Thus the race to build an atomic bomb quickly commenced. Many scientists from all over the world were working day and night to develop something that could only be described as the answer to ending the war.

[1] p.108, Grunden, Walker, Yamazaki

[2] p.109-110, Grunden, Walker, Yamazaki

[3] p.169, Hartcup

title: Governmental impact on science during World War II

question: What does the text say about the qualities that make a good nuclear scientist?

question: What does the text say about governmental oversight on pre-war scientific research?

answer: The government had a big impact on pre-war scientific research, but it was a cruel psychological game they played on the research community. If not for political leaders' influence on scientists, the development of weapons to protect the country wouldn't be an urgent matter because the emphasis won't be placed on the word "need". However, urgency applied pressure on scientists, which lead to stress and paranoia. This led to scientific research bestowed upon individuals, and the competition to succeed before someone else has proven to be the answer, relieving stress and makes both the scientist and the government happy.

question: What does the text say about what happened to scientists during the war?

answer: At the time, scientific communities were largely dependent on government funding, and the wartime environment removed certain freedoms as the nationalization of industrial research ramped up. Since the scientists were the personnel required to aid the war effort, they lost both scientific and personal freedoms. They were too busy developing technologies for the military that they had virtually little to no time to work on their own research. The added research hours also took a toll on the scientist's families due to increased disassociation.

question: What does the text say about money and wartime science?

answer: Government funding was and still is a way for nations to influence their respective scientists. With proper funding, the opportunity to expand research becomes present. More productive results come forth because better equipment is available and the most qualified people can be hired to operate them.


split: train

text:
Prosecutors dropped all charges Wednesday against three Baltimore police officers accused in the arrest and death of Freddie Gray, bringing to an end one of the highest-profile criminal cases in the city's history with zero convictions.

Baltimore State's Attorney Marilyn J. Mosby acknowledged the long odds of securing convictions in the remaining cases following the acquittals of three other officers on similar though more serious charges.

In a hearing Wednesday meant to start the trial of Officer Garrett Miller, prosecutors dropped their cases against him, Officer William Porter and Sgt. Alicia White. Circuit Judge Barry G. Williams, who had acquitted the other officers, was expected to preside over the remaining trials as well.

After the most recent acquittal and "a great deal of thought and prayer," Mosby said, she resolved to drop the remaining charges. Mosby stood by her decision to bring the charges, pointing out that the medical examiner's office ruled Gray's death a homicide and that it's her job as the city's top prosecutor to seek justice.

"It's something that I've been grappling with for some time," Mosby said of her decision to end the prosecution, during an interview with The Baltimore Sun. "It's not something that was overnight."

Attorney Ivan Bates, who represents White and spoke on behalf of the defense teams, described the past year as a "nightmare" for the officers, who did not speak. He reiterated the defense argument that the officers didn't have anything to do with Gray's death, which they have characterized as a tragic accident.

"Not one of these officers woke up wanting to do anything negative to anyone," Bates said.

Gray's death has reverberated across Baltimore and the country at a time of national debate over the deaths of young black men in altercations with police. Gray, 25, died of severe neck injuries suffered in the back of a police van. He'd been shackled and handcuffed, but not secured in a seat belt.

Mostly peaceful protests erupted in Baltimore and lasted for days following his death. Then, on the day of his funeral, rioting, looting and arson broke out — and images of Baltimore in chaos were broadcast to an international audience.

Mosby charged the six Baltimore officers days later with offenses ranging from second-degree depraved-heart murder to manslaughter, reckless endangerment and misconduct in office.

The case pitted Mosby against police, and their verbal sparring Wednesday raised questions about their ability to cooperate going forward. The Fraternal Order of Police accused Mosby of pursuing a malicious and wrong-headed prosecution, while she accused police investigators of sabotage.

The case proved costly for the city.

The state's attorney's office and Police Department, which bought riot gear and paid officers overtime in anticipation of protests, spent an estimated $7.4 million on the trials, city officials said Wednesday. In addition, the city reached a $6.4 million settlement last year with Gray's family.

Under the broad theory of the case, the prosecution argued that the officers acted unreasonably, willfully disregarding their training and general orders, when they didn't secure Gray in a seat belt in the back of a police transport van and failed to get him medical help.

Prosecutors said those decisions led to Gray's death. They also argued that the officers had no probable cause to stop Gray and that Goodson, the van's driver, had given Gray a "rough ride."

All of the officers pleaded not guilty. Their attorneys argued that they acted reasonably and professionally and that the prosecution had no evidence to support the charges.

Williams, a former city prosecutor who investigated police misconduct for the U.S. Department of Justice, repeatedly questioned the legal theories put forth by prosecutors.

The trial of Porter ended with a hung jury and a mistrial in December, and Williams acquitted Officers Edward Nero and Caesar Goodson and Lt. Brian Rice after bench trials in May, June, and July, respectively.

Porter had been scheduled to be retried in September, and White had been scheduled to be tried in October.

At the conclusion of Wednesday's hearing, which lasted minutes, Williams lifted a standing gag order that had barred everyone involved in the case from speaking about it publicly. That led to dueling news conferences.

Mosby headed to the West Baltimore neighborhood where Gray had been arrested and stood on the sidewalk to explain her decision and to rail against the criminal justice system.

Mosby blamed a number of factors for her inability to secure a conviction, including having to rely on the Police Department to investigate its own and not having a say in whether the cases proceeded in front of a judge or jury. Under Maryland law, defendants get to pick a judge or jury.

"For those that believe I'm anti-police, it's simply not the case. I'm anti-police brutality," she said. "The only loss and the greatest loss in all of this was that of Freddie Gray's life.

"As a mother, the decision not to proceed on these trials, these remaining trials, is agonizing," she added. "However, as a chief prosecutor elected by the citizens of Baltimore, I must consider the dismal likelihood of conviction at this point."

She noted the "countless sacrifices" of her prosecutors in the case, including Chief Deputy State's Attorney Michael Schatzow and Deputy State's Attorney Janice Bledsoe, and said her office will continue to "fight for a fair and equitable justice system for all."

Gray's stepfather, Richard Shipley, said family members "stand behind Marilyn and her prosecuting team, and my family is proud to have them represent us."

"It was wrong what they did to my son," said Gray's mother, Gloria Darden.

Shortly thereafter, the officers, their defense attorneys and leaders of the Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 3, the union that represents the officers and paid for their defense, held their own news conference.

"Everybody wanted to find out what happened to Freddie Gray," Bates said. "The Baltimore City Police, they did the investigation, and they said it was an accident. ... The Baltimore City state's attorney's office had an opportunity to do an in-depth investigation, and they did not."

Lt. Gene Ryan, the union president, said, "Justice has been done." He also described Mosby's comments at her news conference as "outrageous" and "uncalled for."

Ryan said he expects the six officers to return to work, though all of them face possible discipline. Administrative investigations into their actions on the day of Gray's arrest and death are being conducted by the Montgomery County Police Department, with assistance from Howard County police. Once those investigations conclude, Baltimore Police Commissioner Kevin Davis would decide any discipline.

Davis, in a statement issued Wednesday, called Mosby's decision to drop the charges "a wise one" that will help the city heal and move forward.

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"As the trials end and this chapter in Baltimore's history closes, it is important that we collectively resolve to direct our emotions in a constructive way to reduce violence and strengthen citizen partnerships," Davis said. "Any motives that fall short of that are counterproductive and inconsistent with the values of Baltimoreans."

The conclusion of the Gray case comes at a pivotal moment for Baltimore and police-community relations.

The Justice Department is expected to release soon the results of a wide-ranging civil-rights investigation into the Police Department. Such reviews in other cities have resulted in increased spending on policing and findings of shortcomings and misguided practices.

_Baltimore Sun reporters Justin Fenton and Pamela Wood contributed to this article._

-   Baltimore Police Department

question: Summarize Mosby's feelings about the case discussed in the text.

answer: Mosby acknowledged the long odds of securing convictions when it came to convicting police officers. A high profile case with zero convictions has caused a lot of chaos. Mosby charged the six Baltimore police officers with offenses ranging from second degree depraved hear murder, to manslaughter, to reckless endangerment and misconduct in office. With none of the charges going through, Mosby accused the police investigators of sabotage.

question: Who would want to hire Mosby in the future to fight their case?


text:
[Pyke Koch (1955)] PIETER FRANS CHRISTIAAN KOCH, better known as PYKE KOCH (July 15, 1901October 27, 1991), was a Dutch artist who painted in a magic realist manner.

Pyke Koch and the painter Carel Willink are considered to be the foremost representatives in the Netherlands of Magic Realism, a style of painting in which the scenes depicted seem realistic yet uncanny or unlikely.

His paintings show many details. Some art historians, notably Carel Blotkamp, have suggested that these details may contain hidden messages and references to his personal life.[1] The work does contain many references to earlier periods in the history of art. He was very much inspired by painters of the Italian quattrocento, most notably the work of Piero della Francesca.

Biography

Early life

Pyke Koch was born in Beek, a small village near Nijmegen in the Netherlands. He was the only son of the local doctor; he had three elder sisters. He went to school first in Nijmegen, later to a boarding school in Zeist. There he was given the nickname Pike (as in the fish). The name stuck, even when he moved to Utrecht to study law at the University, although he changed the spelling to 'Pyke'.

Music was an important part of Koch family life. He played the violin and was interested in music from Bach to gypsy music. During his student days he played with a student gypsy band called Tzigane.

In the 1920s he met Charley Toorop who was already a famous painter. He probably became interested in painting through their friendship.

First steps

In the summer of 1927 Koch was slow in preparing for his final exams. By the time he was ready his professor had left the city for the summer. This left him with nothing to do and he found some brushes and paint that one of his sisters had given him years before. After he convinced a girl in a bar he was a professional painter, she modeled for him. The result was his first painting, called _Dolores Ontbijt_ or _Dolores' Breakfast_. This first painting made an impression on the painter Cor Postma who arranged for Koch to be part of several exhibitions in the following years in the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam.

Strangely, from the very start his paintings were admired for their technical perfection, even though he had had no formal training. In fact he had had no practical training whatsoever. Koch was fond of his image as a self-taught painter. He did follow classes at the Arthistorical Institute of the University Utrecht where he studied the theories of art and even theories about art practices (the historical use of materials and such) but he never seems to have had lessons in drawing or painting.

He was most impressed with the painters of the Italian Renaissance Piero della Francesca, Masaccio and Andrea Mantegna. He also admired some modern painters, notably Chirico and Magritte.

At the Arthistorical Institute he met Hedwig (Heddy) de Geer, who became his wife in 1934. Afterwards they lived mainly in Utrecht.

Success

During the late 1920s and 1930s Koch had many exhibitions, both solo and in collaboration with others. In 1931 one of the foremost museums in the Netherlands, the Museum Boymans van Beuningen bought one of his paintings called _De Schiettent_ or _Shooting Gallery_.

During the 1930s his work became very popular. It was often called Magic Realism, a term he quite liked.

His house in Utrecht (Oude Gracht 341) became a regular meeting place for many Dutch writers, painters and designers. His workplace, for instance, was remodeled by his friend Gerrit Rietveld.

Koch also had friendships outside of his artistic circle. One of these friends in particular would leave a permanent mark on his life. Ernst Voorhoeve was the founder of Verdinaso, a political movement that sympathised with Benito Mussolini's fascist movement. During the years he spent in Italy, where Heddy and Pyke had a bed & breakfast in Fiesole for a while, Koch started to admire Mussolini. Koch became a member of Verdinaso but renounced it when it merged with the Dutch Nazi party NSB. By that time, some of his paintings had appeared on the covers of magazines associated with fascism. This would prove to be a stain on his reputation that would stay with him for the rest of his life.

In those years Koch painted many masterpieces that were widely admired in exhibitions. He was also active as a designer for graphic work. He designed postage stamps and the Utrecht street lights.

He continued to work during the war. Like many of his colleagues he painted mostly still lifes because those were least likely to offend the Germans.

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Later career

After the war his work became less popular. Abstract expressionism and other more conceptual forms of art became the norm. All forms of realism were considered old fashioned. Still he had a fan base that continued to buy his work. He had a retrospective solo exhibition in the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam in 1955 and in the Gemeentemuseum, Arnhem in 1966.

Koch was a perfectionist in the extreme. He worked slowly and destroyed many of his works because he was not satisfied with the result. His oeuvre is therefore quite small. Still it has been incorporated in all major collections in the Netherlands.

Early in the 1980s Koch was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. As his physical and mental abilities declined, he gradually withdrew from public life. He died in Wassenaar on October 27, 1991.

[1] Meijer, Annelys and Carel Blotkamp. Pyke Koch. Paris: Institut Néerlandais, 1982.

title: Pyke Koch

question: Who was Pieter Frans Christiaan Koch?

answer: Better known as Pyke Koch, he was a Dutch painter known for magical realism.

question: What hidden messages might his work contain?

answer: References to his personal life and to earlier periods in the history of art.

question: How did he become interested in painting?

answer: Possibly through his friendship to Charley Toorop, a famous painter.

question: When did he become a successful artist?

answer: Late 1920s early 1930s.

question: Write a ~7 sentence summary.

answer: Pieter Frans Christiaan "Pyke" Koch was a Dutch artist who painted magical realism. His art is known to contain hidden messages, references to his personal life and to earlier periods in the history of art. He became interested in painting through his friend Charley Toorop, a famous artist. During the late 1920s and 1930s, he had many exhibitions. During the 1930s his work became very popular. He liked Italian fascism early on, but renounced it when they joined forces with the Nazi party. He withdrew from public life due to Alzheimer's.


text: I've seen you once before, in a dream from very long ago. We stared at one another from across the way, our hearts attempting to match the beat of one another's, the rhythmic sounds growing so loudly you blushed slightly at the thought of another hearing its merriment, while mine sung a tune loud enough for yours, and only yours to hear. As we walked closer to one another the beating I heard grew from a faint whisper to a warming melody, and as we continued walking along this bridge surrounded by the cherry blossoms that slowly fell in between and all around us, my heart began pounding on the walls of it's calloused prison. Foregoing it's fear that another would never hear it's lovely song, and it would wither and die in a lonely silence. But now, as I walked closer to you and you to I, it sung the happiest of song's as it could finally hear yours. One that the wind would carry for eternity, and the river below would remember until it has gone. For two hearts separate singing together in almost unity, is something even the wind & water has only heard a handful of times. My heart seemed as though it would burst as we finally met one another on that bridge, I looked into your eyes and you into mine, and as you raised your hand I too raised mine, our hands becoming intertwined as our hearts finally resonated the others songs, but in the blink of an eye, we had became decrepit weak and old, when it seems as if just a moment ago, we were young and full of vigor. But I noticed quickly that hadn't stopped our hearts from the melodies they had sung through out our sudden ageing, and I stayed with you as my heart commanded, through the rain and snow, we stood their. Until one day, when the darkness came. And it ripped you from my hands without mercy, the last image I saw of you was a smile, the same smile that you graced me with when our hearts first found one another. But the sudden absence of the song my heart completed caused it to become silent and wither back into its cage, as I too sat on the bridge watching the place where she had stood, secretly hoping it was a bad joke, but the absence of her song told me the truth. She was gone, and now my hearts sings a tune of sadness, as the first snowflake fell upon the slightly frozen river below. As I looked into the sky past the white branches that blocked my view ever so slightly, my heart hit a particularly saddening note before its song stopped and a tear fell onto my heated cheeks, I raised my hand in surprise to find I had been crying, I looked below to find the river had rose and now flowed faster than before, I also noticed a trickle of blood running down my neck and dampening the shirt I wore. And as I raised my hand to touch the Scarlett liquid a man appeared before me, his hand raised outward a warming smile gracing his pale face, as he spoke it was clear to me, even above the rising waters now destroying everything in its path. He spoke the words my heart died to hear. "She's been waiting long enough, let us go." I cleared my blurry eyes and with the last of my fleeting strength I took his hand just as the water destroyed the bridge which we had met one another on. I feel asleep as my strength failed me, and I fell into darkness, no sound could be heard nor light seen, but then I heard her song, and I awoke to find her staring back at me. Smiling that same bashful smile she wore ever so perfectly when we had first met, as she heard my heart come alive and sing louder and happier then it ever had as it matched hers perfectly. I sat up and I took her hand into mine we shared a kiss more passionate then any before us, and then we layed their, hand in hand as our hearts sang out in perfect unison for all eternity. I turned to her and smiled as I said, I've seen you once before, in a dream from very long ago.

title: A short story I finished out of boredum, I hope you enjoy it.

question: How many women is the narrator talking about?

answer: Just one. At first, the narrator speaks to the reader as the woman. Then when the woman dies, the narrator refers to her in the third person.

question: What is the significance of the beating of the hearts?

answer:
The narrator describes it as if it were musical in nature. Possibly hinting of a person's values and emotions, and that since his heart and heart were singing the same "song", then their had a lot in common and were very compatible as a couple.

Alternatively, the narrator is of an alien race and their mating ritual involves finding a mate whose heartbeat was compatible with their own. Once they find a mate, their hearts would synchronize and they would age drastically in a blink of an eye.

question: What took the woman away?

answer: The narrator describes it as a darkness. This could be symbolism for fatal complications that come with old age or any other causes of death.

question: What happened in the end?

answer: The man went to the bridge where he was once with the woman and was mourning, then he noticed the waters rising, and allowed himself to die when the bridge was destroyed by the waters.

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: A man and a woman meet, and on a bridge they find their hearts beating the same tune and in a blink of an eye, they become old. The woman dies of old age and the man now finds the waters rising under the bridge. He stays on the bridge as it is destroyed by the water and he is reunited with the woman once again.


text:
Posted by RUSSELL KEITH-MAGEE on April 28, 2015

Last year, to commemorate the release of Django 1.7, we ran a fundraising campaign selling t-shirts and hoodies with a limited edition, specially commissioned design. That campaign raised almost $10,000 for the Django Software Foundation.

Since it was such a great success, we're doing it again for the Django 1.8 release! We've commissioned some new artwork from Django Girls alumnus Beatrix Bodó; we're offering that design in 4 styles:

-   a "Unisex" t-shirt (straight cut, "mens" sizing): $20
-   a "Womens" fitted t-shirt: $20
-   a "Womens" v-neck t-shirt: $20
-   a Hoodie: $25

(We're not huge fans of the "mens", "womens" and "unisex" labels for shirts for a variety of reasons, but they're the terms in common use in the industry)

UK/European prices will be slightly higher due to VAT.

All profits from the campaign go to the Django Software Foundation, to help fund activities like sprints, travel grants to DjangoCon, and supporting events like Django Girls workshops.

It's a crowdfunding campaign - we need to hit a minimum of 100 sales to confirm the print run. If we don't hit that target, there won't be any shirts! It also means that there's a time limit - you need to place your order by MAY 12. If you don't place an order before then, you'll miss out!

So - place your orders, and spread the word!

UPDATE: Added a note about VAT for UK and European purchases.

UPDATE 29 APRIL: we've hit 100 sales, so the print run is happening! Get your order in by May 12th, and you'll get a shirt or hoodie.

UPDATE 1 MAY: Modified the shirt descriptions to remove gender specificity.

UPDATE 13 MAY: The campaign has now closed, raising almost $6500 for the Django Software Foundation. Thanks to everyone who contributed!.

__ Back to Top

question: What is the Django Software Foundation?

answer: The page doesn't specify what the foundation does, but it does make clear that they have fundraised before. There is an allusion to workshops and the funding of activities such as sprints.

question: What are they selling?

answer: A variety of t-shirts and a hoodie. The page specifies they are required to have labels denoting gender, it is later stated that the gender descriptions were later removed.

question: How many t-shirts do they needs to sell?

answer: At least 100 in order to be able to print the t-shirts.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: A crowdfunding page for t-shirts that are being sold to fundraise for the Django Software Foundation. Details and updates about the campaign are at the bottom.


text:
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Birmingham would be the second most damaged city in Britain by a hard Brexit , new research has revealed.

The city's economy would lose £6.82 billion over five years.

This is a fall in economic output of 5.5%.

The figures, published by the respected Centre for Economic Performance at the London School of Economics, show how much the city's economy would shrink if the UK left the European Union without a deal giving us full access to the Single Market and the Customs Union.

This is the so-called "no deal" Brexit.

The UK would lose £430 billion over five years, and the only place to suffer more than Birmingham would be London.

In practice, it means businesses would do less work and employ fewer people.

Prime Minister Theresa May has said she is determined to get a deal by the time Brexit takes place in March 2019.

But the Government has also admitted that leaving without a deal is possible.

[]

Liberal Democrat leader Sir Vince Cable says the UK should stay in the Single Market (Image: Andrew Matthews/PA Wire)
Liberal Democrat leader Vince Cable has seized on the figures to say ministers should commit to staying in the single market and customs union for the sake of Birmingham’s economy.

He told the Birmingham Mail: "This work by the London School of Economics brings out the extent to which Birmingham would be seriously damaged economically by a no-deal Brexit.

"These economic modelling exercises are necessarily approximate, but if anything they understate the damage once we take into account the knock-on effects. And the damage to cities such as Birmingham will hit the whole of the UK because it is so central to Britain’s prosperity.

"The government must guarantee our membership of the single market and customs union. This is precisely why the Liberal Democrats, alone among political parties, are campaigning for an exit from Brexit by offering the people a vote on the final deal.

"If the government dispute the figures then I challenge them to publish their own figures which so far they are refusing to do by sitting on studies they have undertaken. Until they do, these are the most authoritative figures available."

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox insisted the UK would press ahead with a "no-deal" Brexit if need be, when he spoke on ITV's Peston show on Sunday.

It would mean the UK traded with the EU using rules set out by the World Trade Organisation (WTO). There would be tariffs on goods exported between the EU and UK, and delays at borders as customs checks took place.

Mr Fox said: "If we have no deal and we trade on current WTO terms, that’s the basis not only that Britain trades with countries like the United States, but that the EU trades with the rest of the world in most circumstances.

"So it’s not exactly a nightmare scenario."

[]

Chancellor Philip Hammond
Chancellor Philip Hammond has revealed the Government has produced "models" showing how different regions of the UK will be affected by Brexit - but the Government says it won't make them public.

MPs are demanding the publication of the findings, which also include an analysis of the impact on different sectors of the economy.

A letter to Brexit Secretary David Davis calling for publication has been signed by 120 MPs, including Adrian Bailey (Lab West Bromwich West), Liam Byrne (Lab Birmingham Hodge Hill), Jack Dromey (Lab Birmingham Erdington), Preet Gill (Lab Birmingham Edgbaston), Shabana Mahmood (Lab Birmingham Ladywood), Khalid Mahmood (Lab Birmingham Perry Barr) and Jess Phillips (Lab Birmingham Yardley).

But an opinion poll has found there is some support for walking away from the EU without a deal if need be.

A survey by Opinium found 37% backed leaving without a deal if no agreement could be reached, while 25% supported a transition period where the UK stays in the single market and 23% backed abandoning Brexit altogether.

Labour Shadow Brexit Secretary Keir Starmer has said Labour will work with rebel Tory backbenchers to ensure Parliament has the power to veto any Brexit deal. This could include vetoing plans to leave without a deal.

However, it's unclear what would happen if Parliament did reject the Government's Brexit plans. The UK has already told the EU it is leaving by March 2019 and it's unclear whether that process would automatically stop if Parliament votes for a pause.

question: When was the article written?

answer: Before 2019

question: What cities would be hurt the most by a no-deal Brexit?

answer: London and Birmingham

question: How much money would the UK lose in the event of a no-deal Brexit?

answer: 430 billion pounds over five years

question: Who is the Prime Minister?

answer: Theresa May

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: New research shows that Birmingham would be the second most hurt city in Britain in the event of a no-deal Brexit.


text:
Published: Aug. 28, 2018 at 7:07 p.m. ET

Amazon.com Inc. AMZN, -0.85% is planning to launch an ad-supported free video app, a direct challenge to a similar service offered by Roku Inc. ROKU, +6.62%, according to a report in The Information late Tuesday. Roku stock is down 1.4% after hours and Amazon stock is up 0.2%. Built by the company's IMDB subsidiary, the new offering will be for the estimated 48 million people who use the company's Fire TV streaming devices, according to the report. Like the Roku Channel, Amazon's version will license older TV shows which have already aired. The Roku Channel was a major driver of the company's platform business, which includes ad sales, licensing and revenue sharing. Amazon stock closed up 0.3% to $1,932.82 during the regular session Tuesday, as the S&P 500 index SPX, -0.46% gained less than 0.1%.

question: What new service is Amazon planning?

answer: An add-supported free video app.

question: Who will its direct competitor be?

answer: The Roku Channel, licensing older TV shows that have already aired.

question: Who is the new offering for?

answer: The new offering is for the estimated 48 million people who use the company's Fire TV streaming devices.

question: What role did Roku Channel play?

answer: The Roku Channel was a major driver of the company's platform business, which includes ad sales, licensing and revenue sharing.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: Amazon is planning on launching an ad-supported free video app by licensing older TV shows that have already aired. This will challenge the Roku channel that has been a major driver of the company's platform business.


text:
We were enjoying the cool night air. I lit a cigarette and took a quick harsh drag. My friend sat next me, quiet. He wouldn’t admit his thoughts, but I could see them on his face. I sat with the cigarette between fingers, slowly burning down, quickly giving me a buzz, relieving my stress. He was waiting for a text. I was waiting for anything. That night I wore shorts and a sweater: comfortably chilled. I can’t remember, but it is possible that we had been drinking.

From the vantage point of my friend’s porch we could see them approach her building and stand just outside her door. She was anxious. He, as always, was calm and cool.

I turned to my friend, “Do you see this?” I took a drag, eager for what happened next.

They stood there. Talking. His jeans loose, hems on the concrete, striped hoody, and backwards flat-billed baseball cap, all synonymous with his profile. She wore a skirt, netted leggings underneath, large boots coming half way up her calf, a low cut shirt and a half buttoned up purple cardigan sweater, her sunset red hair kept neat under a black beret. These two friends stood talking in the dark of night; thinking that they were alone in this moment. That for a few minutes the world was theirs. I watched on, ignorant to my friend’s presence and text chimes. In my mind I saw and heard their conversation. She was thanking him for being a good guy to walk her home. He said it was nothing and that he was happy to do it; “No problem.” One of them checked their phone, probably he did. He motioned to go. She asked him to wait. She stepped in for a hug and embraced him. He wasn’t reluctant, he didn’t stop to think about the implications, and he did not consider his girlfriend hundreds of miles away. He didn’t think about how much his girlfriend meant to him, and he didn’t consider how much this girl holding him right now wanted to be more than friends. He held her tight in his arms. And he released first. She held a second longer, understanding that now, given the circumstances, and his obligations, that he could not be with her. She turned to unlock her door; she pulled it open and stood there, holding it. One hand on the door, the other hanging at her side. They said goodbye, he turned and walked away. But she didn’t turn in. She stood there.

I was fixated on her. I wanted to walk over to her and tell her I’m sorry it wouldn’t work out with him. I wanted to run after him and tell him what he’s doing to her. But I couldn’t. I watched her. This image is cast in my mind like stone. The yellow lights on the wall above her emitting their soft enveloping glow. The way she held most of her weight on one foot. Her head cocked slightly to one side and inclined towards his fleeting presence. And my friend reclined on next to me. Cigarette smoke drifting before my face in the breeze.

To me this moment only lasted about fifteen seconds. She watched after him. I saw in her body language how she registered the ramifications of their conversation and interactions. Her body slouched. Her hand fell off the door letting it swing in, stopping against her shoulder. She loosened her firm stance and stepped one foot back to turn, but she couldn’t yet. She had to watch him a few seconds longer; she had to hope that he’d changed; that maybe he did feel the same way for her. Hoped that maybe he’d turn back for her. I could only imagine how long this felt for her, the emotions she felt as he went farther away, without looking back: the impact of his words tonight, the realizations within that hug, the disappointment and despondency of that brief moment. She finally turned in—sad, lonely, defeated. I felt sorry for her. I felt guilty that I had intruded on this moment; that I watched something that was supposed to be private and within only her world.

I finished my cigarette, crushed the butt, and threw it away.

title: A Goodbye (ws please)

question: Where were the narrator and his friend sitting?

answer: They were sitting on his friend's porch.

question: Whose text was the friend waiting for?

answer: This information can't be found.

question: Who was the lady they were looking at?

answer: The girl was one of the narrator's friend's next-door neighbor.

question: Did the man enter the girl's home?

answer: No.

question: Write a ~6 sentence summary.

answer:
As they approach her building, the narrator and his friend were sitting on the porch smoking and watching. She stood at her entrance conversing with him in what seemed to be thanking him for walking her home. He soon signals to her that he needs to leave. She hugs him hoping his plan would change but it doesn't. The man walks off, while she waits at her doorstep until he is out of sight.

The narrator feels sorry for her and finishes his cigarette.


text:
Amid increasing tensions between India and Pakistan, reports have emerged that the Indian High Commissioner to Pakistan Ajay Bisaria's application for membership to the elite 'Islamabad Club' has been put 'on hold'.

[Ajay Bisaria (Image: Twitter/@Ajaybis)]

Ajay Bisaria (Image: Twitter/@Ajaybis)

HIGHLIGHTS

-   Ajay Bisaria's application for membership to the elite 'Islamabad Club' has been put 'on hold'.
-   He is the Indian High Commissioner to Pakistan.
-   Media reports cited "security concerns" as the reason for this hold.

Amid increasing tensions between India and Pakistan, reports have emerged that the Indian High Commissioner to Pakistan Ajay Bisaria's application for membership to the elite 'Islamabad Club' has been put 'on hold'.

Some media reports cited "security concerns" as the reason for this hold. This is the first time that an Indian envoy's application has been put on hold.

It normally takes only days to process such applications. Ajay Bisaria who took over in December 2017 had applied soon after his arrival. But, the Indian mission in Islamabad has still not heard from the Club authorities.

The Islamabad Club, according to reports, has denied the reports saying that they await "political clearance" and that the request was under process.

"The club needs NOC (No Objection Certificate) by the Ministry of Interior to grant membership." said an official of the club according to a Pakistani Daily. "We have not denied Bisaria's request... It is a routine matter," the official added.

The club has not approved the Indian envoy's membership so far and is reportedly threatening to not renew the membership of other Indian diplomats as well to a place where all foreign diplomats and envoys go to hang out and network.

This 346-acre exclusive club is next to the diplomatic enclave, a highly secure zone so "security concerns" for just one diplomat cannot be the reason for such delay when diplomats of all countries including US, UK, EU often frequent the club.

With the situation at the border heating up and issues of "reciprocity" in behavior for diplomats on either side always cropping up, this seems like another way adopted by the Pakistan administration to snub India.

WATCH VIDEO | ISLAMABAD CLUB SNUBS INDIAN ENVOY AJAY BISARIA, PUTS ON HOLD HIS MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION

question: Why are there tensions between India and Pakistan?

answer: That information is not provided.

question: What is the primary focus of this article?

answer: Ajay Bisaria's application for membership to the Islamabad Club has been put on hold due to security concerns amid rising tensions between India and Pakistan.

question: Describe Ajay Bisaria.

answer: He is the Indian High Commissioner to Pakistan.

question: When was this article published?

answer: That information can't be found.

question: What is the Islamabad Club?

answer: A 346-acre exclusive club where foreign diplomats and envoys go to hang out and network.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: As tensions increase between India and Pakistan, Ajay Bisaria's (the Indian High Commissioner to Pakistan) application to the Islamabad Club has been put on hold. "Security concerns" were cited as the reason for the delay. The club is also threatening not to renew the memberships of other Indian diplomats. The Islamabad club is a 346-acre exclusive club where foreign diplomats and envoys go to hang out and network.


text:
A draft of the federal Liberal government's proposed Indigenous child welfare bill recently received negative reviews from First Nations representatives involved in co-development talks with Ottawa, according to a grand chief.

[]

Indigenous Services Seamus O'Regan said First Nations concerns will be incorporated in final version of Indigenous child welfare bill. (Sean Kilpatrick/Canadian Press)

A draft of the federal Liberal government's proposed Indigenous child welfare bill recently received negative reviews from First Nations representatives involved in co-development talks with Ottawa, according to a grand chief.

Ottawa announced last November it would table the bill that would break from more than 100 years of destructive federal policies aimed at Indigenous children that began with residential schools and led to tens of thousands of Indigenous children in care today.

The promised legislation is an outgrowth of the 2016 Canadian Human Rights Tribunal ruling that found Ottawa discriminated against First Nations children by underfunding child welfare services on reserve.

Cindy Blackstock, who heads the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society and led the human rights complaint, has been in the loop on the draft legislation as a result of the tribunal ruling.

[]

Cindy Blackstock, executive director of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society, said the Indigenous child welfare bill must not be a 'paper tiger.' (Sean Kilpatrick/Canadian Press)

Blackstock said legislation must include an equitable and statutory funding base, affirm First Nations jurisdiction, focus on structural flaws that put children at risk, family and community health and acknowledge the "sacredness of children."

"Absent these critical ingredients, the law risks being a paper tiger and a disappointment to another generation of children," said Blackstock in an emailed statement.

Federal officials presented the draft version of the bill late last month to First Nations representatives from an Assembly of First Nations working group created to lead co-development work.

Concerns over funding and jurisdiction

"There were some good things and some things we had concerns about," said Association of Iroquois and Allied Indians (AIAI) Grand Chief Joel Abram, the Ontario First Nations political representative on the working group.

Abram said his organization would oppose the proposed legislation if problems aren't fixed in the final product.

-

    Video

    Ottawa could be facing human rights tribunal hearing to settle First Nations child welfare compensation

-   Cabinet shuffle shows reconciliation dropping in priority for Trudeau, say Indigenous advocates

AIAI previously opposed the now-shelved Indigenous rights and recognition framework which aimed to enshrine the Constitution's section 35 Aboriginal rights in federal legislation on grounds it threatened First Nations rights.

"We were one of the main opponents pushing against the framework and if this bill isn't right, we will do the same thing," said Abram, who saw the draft but couldn't discuss details due to a confidentiality undertaking.

[]

Association of Iroquois and Allied Indians Grand Chief Joel Abram. (Derek Spalding/CBC)

Abram said his organization's main concerns going into discussions on the bill — that it recognize First Nations jurisdiction over child welfare and enshrine equitable and statutory funding — remained following his review of the draft bill.

He said federal officials were told which parts of the draft remain problematic and how they could be fixed.

"The best we could do at that time was to raise concerns in specific areas and suggest what would work," he said.

'A work in progress'

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told the AFN chiefs in December the bill would be tabled by the last week of January, but federal officials are still working to finalize it.

Indigenous Services Seamus O'Regan said in an emailed statement that the concerns raised by First Nations representatives did not fall on deaf ears.

"We must ensure that critical feedback from our partners is incorporated," said O'Regan in the statement.

"We have heard clearly from First Nations, Inuit and Métis through engagement and the co-development process that essential elements must be addressed."

O'Regan said in the statement that the legislation would be tabled "shortly" and that it was "important ... we get it right."

AFN Manitoba regional Chief Kevin Hart, who chairs the legislative working group, said discussions continue with federal officials on improving the proposed legislation.

"We are going back and forth," said Hart. "It is still a work in progress."

[]

Assembly of First Nations Manitoba regional chief Kevin Hart says the draft bill is 'still a work in progress.' (CBC)

Time is running out on the Liberal government which faces 13 sitting weeks in the House of Commons calendar before dissolution and the beginning of the next federal election period.

The Indigenous child welfare bill is one of three major pieces of legislation promised by the Trudeau government to Indigenous Peoples, including a bill on Indigenous languages and the rights framework.

Only the Indigenous Languages Acthas made the House of Commons order paper.

Jane Philpott, the former minister of Indigenous Services, announced the government's intention to table Indigenous child welfare legislation last November.

-   Philpott says child services bill can be a 'turning point' in Crown-Indigenous relationship

-   Promised Indigenous rights recognition legislation won't be in place before next election

Philpott, who is now Treasury Board President, said at the time the legislation would "enable" First Nations jurisdiction over child welfare which has been the domain of the provinces.

The Indian Act, which governs the majority of First Nations, makes no mention of child welfare.

Philpott said the legislation would mark a "turning point" in addressing a "humanitarian crisis" created by the disproportionate number of Indigenous children in foster care.

Hope remains bill will hit the mark

AFN National Chief Perry Bellegarde has said there are an estimated 40,000 First Nations children in care.

Mary Teegee, a technical advisor on the AFN legislative working group, also saw the draft bill and said it contained flaws.

[]

Mary Teegee, executive director of Carrier Sekani Family Services in B.C., said Indigenous child welfare legislation must affirm First Nations jurisdiction. (Chris Corday/CBC)

"It definitely wasn't what we had expected," said Teegee.

"I think there is a lot of work to be done. There was an opportunity for people to provide their input as to what should be included, what should be changed and what should be strengthened."

Teegee, executive director of Carrier Sekani Family Services in B.C., said the legislation must reflect what First Nations demand: jurisdiction.

She said it should also guarantee the statutory and equitable funding required under the Human Rights Tribunal ruling.

"We have done so much work. Our blood, sweat and tears are in it," said Mary Teegee, who was a board member of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society when it launched the human rights complaint in 2007.

"Hopefully, something good will come out of it and we will develop our laws in our communities," she said.

question: Summarize what the Indigenous child welfare bill proposes to cover.

question: Summarize the reasons opponents give for being critical of the bill.

answer: They want it to include many explicitly-stated provisions about the rights of children and of the community-with an emphasis on First Nations communities' right to jurisdiction over healthcare and educational matters. It would need to guarantee continual funding into programs to right the forced and segregated measures that have disenfranchised so many children in historical and contemporaneous contexts.Most critics believe the bill needs some work but do not dismiss it wholly as being meaningless, pointless, or maleficent.


text:
[General area]

VANHANKAUPUNGINSELKÄ (also called _Vanhankaupunginlahti_, ) is a bay area which together with parts of adjoining Viikki district constitute a natural conservation zone near downtown Helsinki in the southern part of Finland. The area is listed in Ramsar Convention on Wetlands of International Importance, is part of European Union's Natura 2000 program and is also listed as BirdLife International's Important Bird Area.

Geographically the area lies east of Helsinki peninsula and is surrounded by the districts of Hermanni, Arabianranta, Viikki, Herttoniemi and Kulosaari. The Vantaa River ends at the north end of Vanhankaupunginselkä.

Although the area appears to be either land or water on various maps or satellite pictures, it is largely marsh-like, impassable either on foot or on boat. Most parts of the area are covered with reeds as tall as a person, which will prevent use of boats, while the subsoil beneath the reeds is soft and muddy, thus preventing passage on foot.

[Duckboards on the area] However, for the purposes of walking between the reeds the City of Helsinki has constructed some duckboards, which permit the visitors on the area to walk between the reeds. While these duckboards permit the visitors to walk between the reeds, the duckboards are just two to four planks wide, which require the visitors to apply appropriate caution in general and while passing other visitors. During times of higher water, the duckboards can be submerged in whole or in part, while in winter, the boards can be warped or destroyed by ice.

[Prohibition sign, stipulating: “Conservation Zone. Do not move between the reeds while the area is unfrozen, collect or damage the foliage or distribute animals in general, do not fish.” The text on the right is in Swedish.] As for the bird species in the area, 285 different species have been observed on the area. Out of these species, 114 have nested on the area during last 10 years.1

When the species of area are considered, certain species rare in Finland nest at the area. Examples of these are western marsh harrier, Eurasian bittern, white-backed woodpecker, red-backed shrike, ortolan bunting and black woodpecker. 2

As for other species, various predators like hawks and owls are frequently observed on the area.

The rules applicable to visitors of Vanhankaupunginselkä are fairly strict. As per the instructions printed on the signs all over the area, visitors on the area are not permitted to move between the reeds while the area is unfrozen, collect or damage the foliage or distribute animals in general. In addition, fishing is not permitted at the area, nor is walking unleashed dogs or horse riding. Furthermore, as Vanhankaupunginselkä is frequently visited by persons interested in nature, informal social control is strict. Littering, loud behavioural and comparable activities are typically strongly condemned.

The visitors can commute to the area either by cars, trams or buses. The trams number 6 and 8 have stops less than a kilometre from the area and various locations near the area offer ample parking space.

Birds at Vanhankaupunginselkä and Viikki Area

Image:CygnusOlorNaturalHabitatMorning.jpg|Mute swan Image:CygnusOlorJuvenile.jpg|Juvenile mute swan Image:FringillaCoelebsFemale.jpg|Common chaffinch (female) Image:EmberizaSchoeniclusNaturalHabitat.jpg|Reed bunting File:Fringilla coelebs eating.jpg| Common chaffinch Image:DendrocoposMinorNaturalHabitat.jpg|Lesser spotted woodpecker Image:MergellusAlbellusTakeOffv2.jpg|Smew Image:Cygnus olor juvenile flight2.jpg |Juvenile mute swan Image:AccipterGentilisJuvenileFlight1.jpg|Goshawk File:Phasianus_colchicus_female_Vanhankaupunginlahti_Finland.jpg%7CFemale common pheasant

title: Vanhankaupunginselkä

question: What does the article say about the geographical features of Vanhankaupunginselkä?

answer: Vanhankaupunginselkä is a bay in southern Finland. It's shown to be either land or sea on different maps. However, it's mostly marsh covered with reeds as tall as people. The area is made accessible with duckboards. The soil makes ships or vehicles impossible to use.

question: What does the story say about the wildlife conservation in Vanhankaupunginselkä?

answer: Vanhankaupunginselkä is officially part of the EU Natura 2000 program in addition to two others. Collecting or damaging the foliage is forbidden in addition to fishing in general. Additionally, a lot of researchers visit the area so there are strict informal rules. The area houses more than 100 new bird species nested there in the last 10 years. In total, there are 285 different birds.

question: What does the article say about nature versus nurture?


text:
Sweet Tea of mine - I almost prefer your bitterness.

Bitterness doesn't lie, bitterness doesn't caress your cheek while you sleep and tear out your heart for personal safekeeping.

No, that kind of cruelty is reserved for Sweetness.  Only with Sweetness can we find the true atrocities of the spirit, what we are prepared to do to satisfy some longing in our souls - that probably never existed in the first place.

Sweet Tea of mine, throw blood into your ghastly mix of inconsequential emotions and show me your Bitterness. You can use all of mine.

title: Sweet Tea

question: Is the narrator literally talking about sweet tea?

answer: No, the narrator is using sweet tea as a metaphor for relationships.

question: Who is the narrator most likely referring to when they are talking to Sweet Tea?

answer: The narrator most likely referring to their significant other, possibly estranged, when they are talking to Sweet Tea.


text:
	I was assigned to write a dystopian short story for my English class, and I'm wondering if I was able to get
	my point across. Tell me what you think.

They told us that time was to be sanctioned, and so it was. Not our time as individuals, but our time as a world.

They say it used to be that time was set by nature, and we all know that nature is bad. It’s almost impossible to grasp that concept, though, of some celestial glow dictating day and night to us. It would be as if we are its followers, its worshipers. It’s good that that primitive age is gone. Imagine the chaos that would be caused if time were unregulated, based on the arbitrary guidance of some light in the sky. In those days, apparently, it would be a different time everywhere in the world, all at the same time. Chaos indeed.

We’re fortunate that we live in the era of order. It’s good that They turn on and off the day. That way everything is in sync, everything is right. If They didn’t set the schedules, we’d all be at a loss. So it’s good that we have an order to follow. A human order, not some natural disorder. It’s comforting that They have replaced the natural system.

Humans, They’ve told us, take comfort in order and rote. It’s quite fortunate, then, that we have our endless sequence of cycles to keep us consistent and coherent. Without the cycle, we know, all culture and civil order would be lost, and we’d revert to our barbaric, primitive past.

The cycle is everything. Every cycle we get up with the light, and carry out our routines. Everyone goes about their regimen, all under Their guidance. Everyone goes through the shifts and then returns to their residence to prepare for the next cycle.

And that’s the genius of the standardization: They’ve made it so that we can repeat our routines, cycle after cycle, without the mundane interruptions that plagued the primitive world. We are free from their distractions, providing us with the efficiency needed to run this complex world.

Thankfully They do most of the running of the world. They keep us safe. Safe from ourselves. There have been some instances of people discarding their routines and living out of their cycles. That is very dangerous; those people always die.

Nobody remembers the age before human time. It must have been countless cycles ago. They tell us stories of those days. There were people who were victims of acedia and sloth back then, and those are some of the greatest crimes. People would fight against other people without Them guiding everyone as one. It was the time before humanization.

The only thing maintaining existence was the belief that one day, a new order would come and we would all live in paradise. It’s wrong, they say, to believe in anything that They have not provided for us.

Thankfully that time of order has come, despite their sinful belief. Thankfully we have fallen into Their hands, for They are humanity’s saviors.

title: Timeless

question: Who is the narrator referring to when they say "they"?

answer: "They" are those who created and run this civilization.

question: What is the standardization?

answer: The standardization allows for the citizens to repeat their routines without the interruptions that plagued the primitive world.

question: Why does this population need to be kept safe from themselves?

answer: It's not clear, but this civilization finds "primitive life" to be dangerous. The narrator mentions that those who break their cycle always die.

question: What is the cycle?

answer: The cycle is how this civilization provides efficiency needed to run their complex world. The cycle starts with light and the people carry out their routines. When they finish their shifts, they go home to prepare for the next cycle.

question: How does the narrator feel about their living conditions?

answer: The narrator is thankful for those who rule their civilization, finding that the primitive

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: The narrator describes how They rule civilization, keeping people safe from themselves. The primitive age is over and now they are in the age of order. The narrator describes how the natural system of day and night has been replaced with cycles, which provide efficiency to run this complex world. The narrator is thankful for Them, referring to them as humanity's saviors.


text:
Rastus, the stand-up comic, grabbed the mike and began his routine:

“Yowie, Yowie, Yowie—fun night—Friday night. How are we—fun people?” He stretched the word “night” out and put a mad, contorted look on his face.

A few women laughed. What most of the audience didn't know was that Rastus was not funny at all; he was, like all the comics or professional funny people I’d met to date, a very serious and rote minded character.

He routinely stole jokes and one liners at every opportunity. For instance he would sit or stand around BBQ’s asking people if they knew any good jokes. If one came up, he would never laugh, never.

But he would say,”Hey, that is funny!”

In the same way another person might admire a piece of art.

Most people when they hear a funny or humorous line take their joy in the act of laughing or being amused, not a comedian, they only analyze it and put it in their bag of tricks, a collector of what makes people laugh without real enjoyment in the simple act of laughter and humor itself.

Rastus’s real name was Vinnie Vincenszo, now that is a perfect name for a funny guy—Vinnie Vincenszo, not Rastus, which is a contrived silly name of someone, quite obviously trying to be funny.

We had this conversation many times, I would say,

“Vinnie drop the Rastus, thing man, it’s not funny”

“I am Rastus, he is funny, you ask anyone, Rastus is the Funster, Vinnie is not funny—I don’t want to have this conversation again— O.K.!”

Vinnie had just finished half his gig and I had called around to see him perform. I don’t know why really, he was the most boring, repetitive comic. It did annoy me that other people would be amused by his antics.

A tipsy woman came passed us and noticed Vinnie, she said. ” My God, Rastus, you are the funniest guy ever, hilarious!”

Vinnie smiled and said. ” Yowie, Yowie, Yowie—thank you!”
She walked away giggling.

“You see that, you see that—that’s what Rastus does! Learn from the master if you ever want to get a laugh.” Vinnie bragged.

“Are You kidding, that woman would not know funny, you think that Yowie, Yowie crap, is funny, that is not funny, man, get rid of it, show some class, funny; that’s not funny Vinnie!” I said getting quite annoyed.

“You know what, it’s you who doesn't know funny, you know that. These people love me, they know funny— funny is Rastus!” Vinnie was raising his voice now.

He continued, “why do you come here every night, it’s always the same, you come to criticize me, I’m going to ban you, if you keep it up. You know your problem, you’re a comedian wannabe, that’s it, isn't it. You can’t stand the fact that people get a real lift out of my stuff—because you my friend would like to be funny like me, but can’t because you got no sense of humor, you’re an unfunny guy, that’s your problem.”

Vinnie actually had a grin on his face, he was enjoying himself now, he felt the flow, the roll of it. I on the other hand was really annoyed; perhaps there was some truth in what he said, maybe there was a component of the comic wannabe that kept me coming back.

He let out one final jab, “I’m going to ban you—unfunny guy.” He was laughing now and headed back to the floor.

Grabbing the mike he made a sort of “stewwwww,” sound, followed by a longer “naaaagggooa,” almost spitting into the mike. People actually sniggered in their beer over this puerile sound-blast.

“You know what peeps, I have a friend, I call him the unfunny guy. He’s the opposite of funny. I betcha when he was born he came out with a sour look on his face. Thing is he wants to be funny; he’s the sort of guy that does a course in How to be the *Funny Guy at Parties.* Anyway I’m going to ban him from my show. You hear that—Mr. Unfunny guy.”

The audience picked up on Vinnie’s enthusiasm, they were with him, he was carrying their expectancy and his delivery had a confident punch to it.

He was looking straight at me; it was time for me to leave. People laughed at my departure, it was a good joke at my expense. My point had been proven, Vinnie could only be funny with my help, I’d be back, he needed me.

title: Funny Guy (feed back, improvements?)

question: What is ironic about Rastus?

answer: He's a comic, but not a funny person.

question: What's the only way Rastus can be funny?

answer: If he has assistance from the narrator.

question: Are the narrator and Vinnie dating?

answer: It doesn't seem to be that way.

question: Why will the narrator be back?

answer: Vinnie needs him.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: The narrator goes to a club to see a guy named Rastus' set. He goes a lot, and Rastus-real name, Vinnie-is never funny. The narrator heckles Vinnie until Vinnie jokes and makes him leave. The narrator leaves, confident that he's the only reason Vinnie is funny, and knowing the narrator will return.


text:
We left the club hours ago and I can still feel the wave of the beat. The perfectly synchronized rush to explosive electronica heaven is building in the sound system of my mind - again. And again.

The chemicals are slightly wearing off so as I tip out of the cab, I fumble in my back pocket for the crushed pack of cigarettes, find the next hapless victim, cradle her in my lips and light up. I have no idea how I'm even standing but I skillfully negotiate against the refrigerated wind and as the relieving foul tasting heat crackles from the suction into my lungs, my head begins to spin - or spin faster really - and I take off again helplessly laughing at the non-existent idiosyncrasies of everyone around me.

Is there anyone around me?

The burning rum purchased at the airport lounge is nauseatingly dancing its way through my digestive system.

Sunglasses on and sleepless, I sidle past the smiling strangers in row 31 and slump into seat A.

The moment my forehead touches the cold glass, my fever subsides. Soon the chill becomes unbearable but I can't move. I'm too high to sleep. All I want to do is tap my feet to the quiet roar of the engine, wedge my face against the window. And stare.

It's a 3 hour flight from New York to Chicago and beaming through the thin haze - how many feet below us? 20,000? 30,000? - lies god's ice tray.

Neatly separated by the fences of past disputes and lawsuits yet to be settled, last night's snowfall purposefully shimmers in random and infinite directions.

Naturally vying for the attention of the other passengers - a standard fair of middle aged business travellers, pretend writers and holiday makers - the world outside cannot compete with the opportunity of a guilt free break from the kids. Or with the - soon to be discarded forever - typing. Or even with the Adam Sandler movie being shown for the 50th first time. Most of the shades are down.

As we chase the sun, stalling its escape behind the horizon, I see another plane frozen in the sky slightly ahead of us, beating us, indifferently flaunting the majesty of the parallel streams in its trail.

Like a yawning peacock, fanning its tail at cooing tourists, it casually gives permission to stare at how effortless it is to be graceful and humble and beautiful.

"Why don't you be beautiful too? Can't you see how easy I make it look?

Now eat my dust."

This is not a race.

There are no television cameras or radio commentators or photographers secretly hoping for a career making collision. No one is cheering along for victory.

Well....

Not on my flight anyway.

But I reckon that's because we're losing.

title: I found this old short incomplete story I wrote a few year back. Interested in any feedback. It's called "Flying high".

question: Where is the narrator?

answer: The narrator has come out of a club a few hours ago and he's just stepped out of a cab.

question: Where is the narrator headed?

answer: The narrator is headed to Chicago from New York and is on a flight.

question: What does the narrator see from his plane?

answer: The narrator sees another plane flying in the sky, slightly ahead of his flight.

question: Which plane is leading in the race?

answer: The narrator's plane is losing the race.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: The narrator is drunk with rum and he's headed for Chicago from New York. While on the flight, he sees another plane flying slightly ahead of his. He stares at it and then wonders why no one is cheering for his plane's victory in this "race." The reason is that his flight is losing it.


text:
WASHINGTON, DC—Chad Halpern, U.S. Ambassador to Bulungi since 1996, has been asked to return to Washington to face allegations that the West African nation does not exist.

Chad Halpern, U.S. ambassador to the African nation of Bulungi (see map).
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"While nothing has been substantiated as of yet," President Clinton told reporters at a press conference Monday, "it appears Ambassador Halpern may have made the country up."

According to Clinton, suspicions first arose last month when Côte d'Ivoire president Henri Konan Bédié attended a formal state dinner at the White House. When Secretary of State Madeleine Albright asked Bédié for an update on the fighting between Côte d'Ivoire's army and Bulungi's Mukka-Lukka rebels, Bédié replied, "I am sorry, I do not understand of what you speak."

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Albright then explained to Bédié that Ambassador Halpern had recently informed her that the fighting between Côte d'Ivoire and Bulungi had reached a breaking point, with Côte d'Ivoire's army advancing all the way to the Bulungian capital of Yabba-Dabba.

"After dinner that night," Clinton said, "Secretary Albright and I made the decision to look up Bulungi in an atlas. Unfortunately, we were unable to locate it. We also looked for it in a large dictionary, under several different spellings, but again, we were without success."

Ambassador Halpern, 24, of Laguna Beach, CA, was appointed to his post by President Clinton after a chance meeting at the Laguna Beach McDonald's where Halpern worked at the time. After discussing Bulungian politics with Halpern for more than two hours, Clinton was impressed enough to name him ambassador.

"Mr. Halpern is a charismatic and persuasive young man," Clinton said two years ago at a ceremony marking the appointment. "I am confident that with his great expertise, the U.S. can reestablish strong relations with Bulungi and help the nation move beyond all the problems that has plagued it in the past, such as last year's tribal war between the Dodos and the Mukka-Lukkas, and the Great Bongo Drought of 1994."

Pending further investigation, Halpern's $11,500 monthly salary—which has been sent to his girlfriend in Tahiti for the past two years due to Bulungi's lack of banks—has been suspended. For the past two years, Halpern's girlfriend's phone line in Tahiti has also been serving as a switchboard for routing calls between Halpern and Washington, a situation the ambassador explained was necessary because "the phones here in Bulungi are just all fucked up."

Despite the suspicions surrounding Halpern, Albright praised the ambassador, saying he has done "an excellent job monitoring a period in Bulungian history marked by often intense sectional surfing competitions." Albright did not, however, deny that a number of the phone calls between them were characterized by giggling.

According to Albright, while Halpern said that getting a ticket for a flight to Washington would be "a bitch," the ambassador assured her he would be on the next available D.C.-bound flight departing from Bulungi's Primo-Ganja Airport.

question: Does Bulungi exist?

answer: No, it was a made-up country by Ambassador Halpern.

question: Who is Halpern?

answer: A McDonald's employee who spoke to Bill Clinton for two hours about Bulungian politics.

question: How was the lie discovered?

answer: When the Bill Clinton was having dinner with President Henri Konan Bede of Cote d'lvoire, Bede expressed confusion at the mention of a conflict with Bulungi. This prompted Blinton and Albright to look up for information regarding Bulungi.

question: What are the ramifications of the deception?

answer: Ambassador Halpern has been summoned to Washington. However, Halpern continues the ruse by pretending to have a hard time securing a ticket from the made-up country.

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: A fast-food employee named Halpern talks to a Bill Clinton about Bulungi, a made-up country, for two hours and manages to secure a position as an ambassador. He lies for a couple of years before a diplomatic dinner with another country rouses suspicion. When told by DC to return, Halpern says that getting tickets out of Bulungi is difficult -which Secretary Albright seems to believe.


text:
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The 1885-86 domestic season, therefore, assumed great importance for Australia, in the absence of any visiting team. It was a time for soul-searching, for regrouping, and for renewed efforts at raising the standard of their skills and strategies.

Caption: Arthur Shrewsbury (left) and Percy McDonnell. Photo courtesy: Wikimedia Commons
The Australian national team came back home from their 1886 tour of England in a chastened frame of mind, HAVING SUFFERED THE FIRST EVER WHITEWASH IN TEST HISTORY, BY LOSING THE 3-TEST SERIES TO ENGLAND 3-0. __ The 1885-86 domestic season, therefore, assumed great importance, in the absence of any visiting team. It was a time for soul-searching, for regrouping, and for renewed efforts at raising the standard of their skills and strategies, and, above all, in learning from their experiences of the just completed unsuccessful tour.

Boxing Day of 1885 saw the beginning of the first game of the new season with Victoria taking on New South Wales (NSW) at Melbourne. Batting first, Victoria put on a sizeable total of 471. After the first-wicket stand between Henry Scott (111) and William Bruce (71) had realised 136 runs, John McIlwraith scored 133, sharing a fourth-wicket stand of 170 runs with Scott. One interesting feature of this game was the fact that the Fred Spofforth, having played 12 First-Class matches for NSW between 1874-75 and 1884-85, had switched allegiances and played his first game for Victoria in this match (he was to play a total of 5 matches for them). Tom Garrett (5 for 121) and Ted Evans (4 for 69) were, as usual, among the wickets.

NSW were then dismissed for 168, Adam Mather top-scoring with 49. Spofforth took 5 for 43 for his new team. Following on, NSW managed 234 with fifties from Sammy Jones (77 not out) and Garrett (50). Spofforth was the main scourge for the NSW batsmen again, taking 5 for 95.

The new year began with Victoria taking on an Australian XI at Melbourne. The Australian XI won the game rather easily by 10 wickets. Francis Wingrove, playing the only First-Class game of his career, opened bowling for Victoria in the Australian XI 1st innings and took a wicket with his first ball in First-Class cricket, dismissing Bruce for 1. There were two significant personal performances in this match: bowling figures of 8 for 59 in the Victoria first innings by Joey Palmer, and 125 by John McIlwraith in the Australian XI first innings.

The return match between NSW and Victoria at Sydney was won by the hosts by 150 runs. In a match remembered mainly for good bowling efforts, Spofforth took 4 for 66 and 4 for 70. For NSW, the old combination of Evans (4 for 70 and 3 for 31) and Garrett (6 for 55 and 6 for 56) did their best for the team. The match notes state that an estimated 23,000 spectators had witnessed the game.

The last match of the season was the clash between South Australia (SA) and Victoria at Adelaide, a game the hosts won by 40 runs. The undoubted hero of the match was George Giffen of SA (20 and 82, 9 for 91 and 8 for 110). The 17 wickets for 201 runs remained his best match figures in First-Class cricket.

There was another visit by an English team in 1886-87, the third under the management of Alfred Shaw, James Lillywhite, and Arthur Shrewsbury, the sixth Test tour of Australia by an English team, and the ninth visit overall. It was a group composed of 11 experienced professional cricketers, carefully selected by Shaw, Lillywhite and Shrewsbury, and they toured Australia under the name Shaw s XI. The wicketkeeper s slot was the last to be filled in with the inclusion of Mordecai Sherwin. Shaw and Lillywhite were both long past their playing days and accompanied the group as promoters, and in managerial capacities. Lillywhite also acted as umpire on the tour.

Preparations for the present visit had begun in the summer of 1886 when Ben Wardill, Secretary of the Melbourne Cricket Club, had started putting the arrangements in place for an England visit with both amateurs and professionals in the team. He was, however, unable to motivate WG Grace to lead the side, and negotiations fell through. It was with this background that JP Tennant of Melbourne and Sydney Cohen of Sydney stepped in to act as the Australian agents for the English tourists of 1886-87. History tells us, however, that Tennant fell somewhat short of the expectations of the managing committee of the tourists as far as the arranging of the matches was concerned, so they placed more and more reliance on Cohen in this regard.

The touring party boarded the Orient liner _Cuzco_ at Plymouth Sound on Saturday, September 18, and sailed via Naples, Port Said, Suez, and Aden, bypassing Ceylon altogether. The tourists disembarked at Adelaide in the evening of Friday, October 29. The Englishmen played 30 games in all on this trip, 11 of them of First-Class status, including 2 Tests. One minor game was abandoned due to weather conditions. Lillywhite and Shaw played only two games each on the tour and some local talent had to be roped in to make up the numbers in some of the side games, the names of W Shaw, J Clarke, and F Jarvis being recorded in the archives in this respect.

The opening game of 1886-87 was between Victoria and Shaw s XI. The centrepiece of Victoria s first-innings total of 329 was a splendid 117* from the by now well-experienced Tom Horan. Richard Houston (68) and George McShane (65) complemented Horan s century.

Having made his First-Class debut for Surrey in 1884, George Lohmann was playing his first game in Australia. He took 6 for 115. Shaw s XI made a robust 352 in reply. There was a second-wicket stand of 193 between Billy Barnes (109) and Dick Barlow (86). Harry Trott and McShane took 4 wickets each.

Victoria were then dismissed for 207 with a top score of 54 not out from Sam Morris (the first man of West Indian parentage to play Test cricket for Australia). Lohmann surpassed his first-innings figures with 8 for 80 in this innings, providing ample indications that he would be a constant thorn in the flesh of the Colonists on the tour. The match ended in a draw.

The visitors then played NSW twice on the trot. The first was completed in two days due to the superlative bowling of Charlie Turner (6 for 20 and 7 for 34) and JJ Ferris (4 for 50 and 3 for 49) as Shaw s XI were dismissed for 74 and 98. These were the first two 5-wicket hauls in First-Class cricket for Turner. NSW won by 6 wickets.

The tables were turned in the next match, the visitors winning the game by 9 wickets. In another low-scoring game, Johnny Briggs (5 for 45), Lohmann (5 for 47), and Wilfred Flowers (5 for 21) shone with the ball for the Englishmen. For NSW, the battle was joined by Ferris (3 for 81) and Turner (7 for 77 and 1 for 3).

There was then a series of 3 matches between a team called Melbourne CC s Australian XI and Shaw s XI, two of the games being played at Melbourne, and one, surprisingly, at Sydney. The Australian scored 294 in the first match. Shaw s XI were bowled out for 201 and were asked to follow on. It may be mentioned here that from 1854 to 1894 there had been a law making it mandatory to enforce the follow on for a deficit of 80 runs. From 1894 till 1900, the deficit had been increased to 120, and from 1900 onwards, the enforcement had become optional). The visitors scored 264 the second time before dismissing the home team for 114 to win the game by 57 runs. Briggs took 5 for 42.

The second encounter was a relatively high-scoring draw with the first three innings topping 200. The highest score of the match was 93 by English all-rounder Billy Barnes. Bruce took 5 for 56 for the home team in this innings. For the visitors, Bates took 5 for 72 in the first innings.

In between the above two games, there was the first of the two traditional games between Victoria and NSW, played at Melbourne. There were 2 standout individual performances in the game that NSW won by 184 runs. NSW skipper Percy McDonnell played a gargantuan innings of 239 in a second-innings total of 363. This was to be his highest First-Class score. Turner then disposed of Victoria for a second-innings total of 138 with figures of 6 for 42, including a hat-trick with the first 3 wickets of the innings.

The third game between Shaw s XI and the Australian XI was played at Sydney, the visitors emerging victorious by 9 wickets. In the Shaw s XI first-innings total of 280, Garrett took 6 for 53, and the highest score was 69 by Briggs. Barnes then underlined his value in the team by claiming 7 for 51. Following on, the Australian XI scored 203, Barnes taking 4 wickets.

This was followed by the return game between NSW and Victoria played at Sydney. In a low-scoring game, none of the totals topped 100 and the hosts won by 6 wickets. Turner and Ferris took 4 wickets each as the Victoria first innings ended at 61. Spofforth then got into the act with 6 for 47 in a NSW first-innings total of 89. Turner (4 for 25) and Ferris (5 for 28) then conspired to bundle Victoria out a 2nd time for 68. Turner then top-scored with 26 not out as NSW won by 6 wickets.

The first Test began at Sydney on January 28. The home team was without one of their champions, Giffen, through illness, and had opted to omit Palmer and Horan from their playing XI. McDonnell put the opposition in, BECOMING THE FIRST CAPTAIN IN TEST HISTORY TO OPT FOR FIELDING AFTER WINNING THE TOSS_._

The unusual move seemed justified as the first 2 wickets fell at the total of 11 and the next 3 at the total of 13. The sorry state of affairs ended with England being bowled out for a mere 45. The only man in double figures was Lohmann, with 17. Australian Test debutants Turner (6 for 15) and Ferris (4 for 27) bowled unchanged throughout the innings and took all the wickets.

On the second day, the Australian first innings ended at 119, Harry Moses scoring 31. The 74-run lead appeared to be a daunting one as England began their second innings. Day Two ended with England on 103 for 7 at the fall of Lohmann s wicket. Earlier, Barnes had contributed a vital 32 runs. England spent a sombre Sabbath day contemplating the slender overall lead of a meagre 29 runs with only 3 wickets remaining. The Almighty, however, turned out to be in a capricious mood when play resumed on the Monday.

Briggs, who had not yet opened his account on the previous night, went his merry way and top scored with 33. He was assisted by William Scotton (6), Flowers (14) and debutant wicketkeeper Sherwin (21*). The last 3 wickets contributed a significant 81 runs to the ultimate second-innings total of 184 all out, the last-wicket stand being 31.

Australia would perhaps have felt confident of their victory target; after all, the figure of 111 Nelson , was supposedly inauspicious for their foes, the Englishmen. The home team had not, however, taken into account the true-blue British bulldog spirit as the last innings of the match began on Day 3.

Barnes and Lohmann, opening bowling for England, bowled their hearts out, Barnes picking up the wickets of the first 5 men in the order. Let us hear the story of the last dramatic moments of the match from Mark Baldwin from his book _The Ashes Strangest Moments_: At 61 for 5, and then at 95 for 8, the game was continually in the balance. However, Lohmann then had Tom Garrett caught for 10 and clean bowled Fred Spofforth for 5. Australia had lost their last two wickets for just two runs and were all out for 97.

Barnes took 6 for 28 and Lohmann captured 3 for 20 as England wrapped up a seemingly impossible win by the tenuous margin of only 13 runs. ENGLAND S 1ST INNINGS TOTAL OF 45 REMAINS THE LOWEST IN TEST HISTORY FROM WHICH A TEAM HAS GONE ON TO WIN THE GAME TILL DATE a remarkable team effort.

A rather unsavoury off-field incident in the interval between the 2 Tests resulted in another tiny morsel of cricket history being created for England. It seems that an unseemly drunken brawl had broken out in a public house during which Barnes had aimed a punch at Australian captain Greatheart McDonnell, who had been alert enough to move out of the way. The punch had ended on the wall behind McDonnell breaking Barnes hand and rendering him hors-de-combat. Since the Englishmen had only brought 11 men over, this posed a serious problem of logistics for them.

Reginald Wood, who had played for Charterhouse XI in 1876 and as an amateur for Lancashire from 1880 to 1884, had emigrated to Melbourne. He had, in fact, turned out for Victoria against the touring Shaw s XI in the first match of the season. Wood was co-opted to the England team for the second Test, BECOMING THE FIRST PLAYER TO BE USED AS A REPLACEMENT ON A TEST TOUR.

Having been engaged by Lord Sheffield for a coaching assignment, Shaw left Sydney after the first Test, sailing out on the _Bengal_ on February 4 and arriving back in London on March 25. Ivo Bligh, who had been in Australia, was a co-passenger on the ship that also carried as part of its cargo a consignment of kangaroos for the Zoological Gardens.

The match between Victoria and SA followed the first Test, and was played at Melbourne. Giffen, now happily restored to full health, led the visiting team. It was a triumphant return for Giffen as he snapped up 8 for 83 in the Victoria first-innings total of 138. The visitors then gained a small lead as they were dismissed for 170, Sam Morris taking 4 for 59.

The VIC second-innings total was a respectable 230 with fifties from McIlwraith (72) and Billy Midwinter (52*). Giffen took 4 for 104 to notch up another of his 30 ultimate 10-wicket hauls. SA, however, fell apart in the face of great bowling by Morris (5 for 21) and Midwinter (5 for 22) to be dismissed for 54, Victoria emerging by 144 runs.

Shaw s XI met NSW at Sydney and ran into Turner, who was in superlative bowling form. For the tourists, Lohmann was also gradually building up a very impressive portfolio for himself. NSW were dismissed for 141, Lohmann taking 5 for 56. Shaw s XI were then skittled out for 99, Turner taking 8 for 32. The only batting effort worth mentioning in the innings was 48 from Bates, known as the Duke for his penchant for smart dressing.

With a lead of 42 runs, NSW scored 180, Moses (73) scoring the only fifty of the innings. Lohmann picked up 6 for 41. Shaw s XI could only manage a round 100 in the face of incisive bowling from Turner (6 for 27) and Ferris (3 for 62). Bates top-scored again, with 40.

The second Test began at Sydney on February 25, 1887 and provided the keen student of the game with several interesting incidents worth taking cognisance of.

There was one enforced change in the England team, Barnes being substituted by Wood, as mentioned above. The Australian team was somewhat lop-sided in the sense that there was only one man from Victoria in Midwinter. There were a total of five debutants for the home team, including Walter Giffen, brother of the more illustrious George. Walter was to have a less than glorious Test career, scoring a total of 11 runs from his 3 Tests with a highest score of 3. It was reported that he had suffered an accident involving two cog-wheels and had lost the tops of two fingers of his left hand in 1886. Surprisingly, particularly in view of his current form, George Giffen was still missing from the home team.

England batted first, putting up a total of 151, Barlow scoring 34 and Flowers 37. Not for the only time in their careers, Ferris (5 for 71) and Turner (5 for 41) accounted for all the wickets.

The home team was done in by George Lohmann, being dismissed for 84, Moses scoring 28. Lohmann returned figures of 8 for 35. It may of interest to examine this performance in comparison with others who have done very well in Australia. Here are the figures:

  ---------------- ------------- --------- ----------- ---------
  BOWLER           TEAM          FIGURES   VENUE       SEASON
  Richard Hadlee   New Zealand   9/52      Brisbane    1985-86
  Sarfraz Nawaz    Pakistan      9/86      Melbourne   1978-79
  George Lohmann   England       8/35      Sydney      1886-87
  George Lohmann   England       8/58      Sydney      1891-92
  Wilfred Rhodes   England       8/68      Melbourne   1903-04
  Len Braund       England       8/81      Melbourne   1903-04
  Tom Richardson   England       8/94      Sydney      1897-98
  Kapil Dev        India         8/106     Adelaide    1985-86
  Jack White       England       8/126     Adelaide    1928-29
  Anil Kumble      India         8/141     Sydney      2003-04
  ---------------- ------------- --------- ----------- ---------

Though there have never been anyone taking 9 wickets in an innings at Sydney by a visitor, Lohmann occupies the first two spots among the four instances of 8 wickets in an innings. LOHMANN S PERFORMANCE OF 8 FOR 35 (THE FIRST INSTANCE OF A BOWLER TAKING 8 WICKETS IN AN INNINGS IN THE HISTORY OF TEST CRICKET) IS STILL THE BEST FOR ALL THE 104 TESTS PLAYED ON THE GROUND TILL DATE, THE RECORD SURVIVING FOR ALMOST 134 YEARS.

To get back to the story of the second Test, England scored 154 in the second innings, Barlow remaining not out on 42. Ferris (4 for 69) and Turner (4 for 52) were again among the wickets. Billy Gunn of England, patriarch of a great family of Nottinghamshire cricketers and the founder of the famous bat manufacturing company, Gunn & Moore, CREATED HIS OWN NICHE IN CRICKET HISTORY BY NOT ONLY BATTING IN BOTH INNINGS (SCORING 9 AND 10), BUT STANDING IN AS A SUBSTITUTE UMPIRE ON THE LAST MORNING OF THE TEST WHEN ONE OF THE DESIGNATED UMPIRES, JOHN SWIFT, WAS ABSENT DUE TO ILLNESS.The fortuitous addition to the team, Wood, scored 6 and 0.

Facing a winning target of 222, Australia were bowled out for 150, McDonnell (35), Moses (33), and Reginald Allen (30) putting up some resistance. And thereby, as it is said, hangs a tale. THE DISMISSAL OF ALLEN ADDED ANOTHER ITEM TO THE VAST TREASURE TROVE OF TEST TRIVIA, WHEN HE WAS CAUGHT BY TURNER, AN AUSTRALIAN, FIELDING SUBSTITUTE, WHO BECAME THE THIRD MAN AFTER MURDOCH AND JARVIS TO TAKE CATCHES FOR THE OPPOSITION IN TEST CRICKET. Briggs (3 for 31), and Billy Bates (4 for 26) ensured that England won the game by 71 runs AND COMPLETED SUCCESSIVE WHITEWASHES OVER AUSTRALIA_._

Shaw s XI played their last match of the tour against Victoria at Melbourne, winning by 9 wickets. In the Victoria first-innings total of 245, openers Bruce (62) and McIlwraith (64) batted well Flowers took 5 for 50 for the visitors. Shrewsbury then scored a masterly 144 for Shaw s XI, sharing a second-wicket stand of 142 with Barlow (43), the final total reaching 283. For the hosts, Bruce (7 for 72) shone with the ball.

The Victoria second innings ended at 156, mainly through the efforts of Lohmann, who took 5 for 44. Chasing a target of 119, Shaw s XI got there rather easily after a first-wicket stand of 111 between Bates (86) and Shrewsbury (29*).

There remained one last, rather light-hearted engagement to end the season, with the Smokers taking on the Non-Smokers at Melbourne. The teams had been selected from players of the touring side and from local talent. Shrewsbury won the toss for the Non-Smokers and batted first, and was immediately in the thick of things scoring a glorious 236 sharing a first-wicket stand of 196 with Bruce (131). After Bates had been dismissed cheaply, Gunn got into the act, scoring 150 and sharing a third-wicket partnership of 320 with his skipper. The total continued to prosper with several good hands and ultimately ended at 803 from. THIS WAS THE HIGHEST TEAM TOTAL ON AUSTRALIAN SOIL AT THE TIME, AND THE FIRST TIME THAT A TEAM HAD TOPPED 800 RUNS IN AUSTRALIA IN A FIRST-CLASS GAME.

The Smokers were dismissed for 356 with a 113 from Palmer. Bates took 6 for 73. Following on, the Smokers were 135 for 5 when the game ended in a draw.

The English team boarded the P & O steamer _Massilia_ at Adelaide on March 26 for the return voyage, sailing past Albany, Colombo, Aden, Suez, Port Said, Malta, and Gibraltar, before finally arriving at Plymouth on the morning of Saturday, May 1887, having been away from England for 231 days.

This is what _Wisden_ had to say about the tour: It is understood that the tour did not yield much profit but the cricket shown was very fine indeed.

question: Which teams played on the first game of the cricket season in 1885?

answer: Victoria and New South Wales.

question: When did the first game of the cricket season in 1885 happen?

answer: On Boxing day that year.

question: How many players were there in the cricket team that visited Australia in 1886-87?

answer: There were 11 cricketers.

question: Which team played in the last match of the cricket season in Australia in 1885?

answer: South Australia and Victoria.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: The text is a summary of cricket games in 1885-87 between England and Australia.