text:
Something I wrote while trying to sleep. Fuck grammar, syntax, and structure, for now.

How does someone wake up everyday wanting to shoot themselves? I wonder this everyday. I wake up. I open my eyes. I wait for reality to seep in, and I cry. I don't know why I do this or if anyone one else does this;but I do. I wait for my nerves to calm down and get ready for the sound of my perpetual fan to fill my ears, and I stop. Sure, I wonder, when is this gonna stop? Is my nose red? Will my family notice how red my eyes are? But, regardless, I wake up; I find my shoes; I put on some pants and walk out. At first I really don't notice anything. I hear the snores of my father, sometimes my mother's. I walk towards the bathroom in the hallway and stare into the mirror. My eyes are red, and my nose is red. I don't really think people notice how red my eyes are anymore. I think they just think it's normal. The majority of people don't say anything and think it's natural. You know, like when someone has a rather large mole underneath their left eye or when someone's nose has clinging mucus. I, and they, don't say anything. I just smile through the bullshit of reality and hope that they don't notice that I've noticed.
I've always wanted to meet some lovely girl with a lazy eye, you know, a really, really lazy eye. I mean, she's be absolutely beautiful. Her lips would have they radiating pinkness which would vibrate in the dark. Her hair would be eternally black and wavy, kinda like that fear you feel when you stare into the woods at night. Her body would be sharp, tight, and skinny like a ballerina that moves violently, perfectly on her toes. I would meet her somewhere...like some fucked up bench outside of an abandoned school's playground. She's be smoking a girly cigarette and pretend like I wasn't there when I'd come up to her. I sit next to her, she'd look at me and smile. At first I'd think she's just staring at the ground, modestly smiling at my presence. But I'd soon realize that I'm looking her lazy eye. She really wouldn't say anything, just mumble something like, "I used come here when my parents were beat each other up. They never really noticed I'd leave." I sadly smile and fall in love with her. She's stand up after a while, slowly tip toeing around the room, each second that'd pass her toes would move faster and faster and faster. I'd hear and watch them click across the concrete. Then, out of nowhere, she'd laugh. At first it'd shock me, I'd think, "What a deep laugh for a girl so small." Then she's begin again, moving her body. I'd tear up, a little. Then she'd whisper, I must leave. She'd come up to me, with lazy eye and all, and kiss me, half on the lips, half on the cheek. It wouldn't be sexual. It wouldn't be dull. It'd feel perfect. I'd sit there a while watching the trees sway and imitate her dance in the heavy, high wind. The moon would shine too brightly, but wouldn't be able to overcome the darkness. I wish I'd meet her.
So I rub my nose and some watery substance drains out. I look again, some minutes have passed since I started thinking about her, my nose is no longer red. I sit on the toilet with my pants still on and wait for my mood to change. After sometime passes and I realize I need to get to work soon, I shift my thoughts. I focus on my clothing, on brushing my teeth, and taking a piss. After I do all those things I sit again on the toilet. I sigh. I walk out my front door, lock it behind me, and begin walking.

title: untitled

question: What does the story say about the narrator's job?

question: What does the story say about the narrator's state of mind?

answer: The narrator is not in a healthy mental state. He is most probably depressed and suicidal. It also seems that he is sad and alone, which is why he wishes to meet some girl with a lazy eye.

question: What does the story say about how the narrator's dream girl looks like?

answer: The narrator's dream girl would have a really, really lazy eye. The narrator thinks the lazy eye makes her beautiful. Her lips would be pink, and her hair would be wavy black. Her body would be tight, sharp, and skinny like a ballerina. The girl would move perfectly on her toes. She's a smoker and has a deep laugh for a small girl.

question: Summarize what the story says about what the narrator is going through every day.

answer: The narrator wakes up each day wanting to shoot himself. He opens his eyes, waits for reality to seep in, and cries. He waits for his nerves to calm down and checks himself if his eyes and nose are too red for others to notice. He thinks about his imaginary dream girl who has a lazy eye, wavy black hair, and a deep laugh. He hopes to meet her someday. Now that his eyes and nose are no longer red, he preps to go to work.


split: train

text:
_SWEPT UNDER_ is a 2015 Canadian thriller directed by Michel Poulette about a crime-scene cleaner, Morgan (Devin Kelley), who discovers evidence that has been left behind. With the help of novice detective Nick (Aaron Ashmore), they rush to find the killer's identity.

Plot

Crime scene cleaner Morgan Sher has trouble keeping assistants because of the gruesome work. She also struggles in her personal life to make emotional connections with others. At a crime scene, she meets Nick Hopewell, the new partner of Detective Ed Braxton. Braxton does not get along with Sher, as his reputation was damaged after she helped solve a crime he could not. When her latest assistant quits after seeing the crime scene, Hopewell chats with her, and Sher impresses him with her insights into the murder. Sher later visits the police station to give Braxton a clue she found at the crime scene while cleaning. Upset that she seems to be trying to upstage him, Braxton ignores her.

After a one-night stand with a data entry worker, Sher encounters Hopewell again, who has become anxious to impress his captain and wants to know about the evidence she found. After Sher hands him the tip of a cane, Hopewell requests her assistance in examining a seemingly related case, angering Braxton. After a brief confrontation, Hopewell takes Braxton up on his ultimatum and partners with Sher instead, convincing her to take a role as a police consultant. In return, she demands Hopewell help her clean up crime scenes. As they grow closer, Hopewell flirts with her, only to be rebuffed by Sher, who says she has a policy against dating cops and coworkers.

Following clues left at the crime scenes, Hopewell realizes the cane may be connected in some way to Jean-Baptiste Lully, a French composer who died from gangrene after stabbing himself in the foot with a conducting staff. The killer left behind a compact disc containing Lully's “Marche pour la Cèrèmonie des Turcs.” Hopewell researches the local orchestra and finds a donor who was accused of attempted rape, Gary Butler. Butler, when questioned, is nervous and denies the rape accusation, which he says was an extortion attempt. When Hopewell pushes him, Butler panics and leads them to Adam Fowler, a conductor. Hopewell reasons that a serial killer has targeted people with a criminal record who are connected to the orchestra. Butler and Fowler, though spooked, refuse to cooperate; Sher and Hopewell agree they are holding back information.

After cooking dinner for her, Hopewell convinces Sher to enter into a relationship, and she admits that personal issues in her life led her to have difficulty in starting healthy relationships. After they have sex, Sher sneaks out of Hopewell's house with his badge and return to Butler's house. Impersonating a police officer, she gains entry and flatly tells him she intends to kill him, revealing that she is a former rape victim kidnapped by Fowler, Butler, and the other dead men. Before she kills him, Butler reluctantly assists her in arranging his own murder scene.

When Butler is found dead, Captain LaSalle angrily takes Hopewell off the case when she learns Hopewell suspected Butler may be the next victim. Knowing his job on the line, Hopewell again turns to Sher for help. After promising to help him, she murders Fowler and makes it look like a suicide, arranging the scene to give Hopewell enough evidence to close the case with Fowler revealed as the killer. Hopewell's job is saved, and Sher becomes hopeful that she can now move beyond the trauma of her rape and have a healthy relationship with Hopewell.

Her hopes are dashed when Butler's estranged wife reveals that she set up a hidden camera in their house to gather evidence of Butler's infidelity. The footage reveals a woman killed him, and Hopewell becomes suspicious of the case's too-perfect closure. As he zeroes in on Sher as a suspect, Hopewell, who previously cooperated with Internal Affairs to take down dirty cops in his precinct, struggles with his rigid morality. After finding her as she plans to flee the city, he pleads with Sher not to leave him. As Sher turns away, she apologizes, saying that she knew he would not be able to let her go.

Cast

-   Devin Kelley as Morgan Sher
-   Aaron Ashmore as Nick Hopewell
-   Stephen Bogaert as Adam Fowler
-   Brett Ryan as Ed Braxton
-   Joanne Boland as Captain LaSalle
-   Vladimir Jon Cubrt as Gary Butler

Production

Shooting took place in Montreal over sixteen days.[1]

Release

_Swept Under_ was originally released under the title of _Maid for Murder_ on the Lifetime Movie Network on December 12, 2015.[2]

Reception

Poulette was nominated for Outstanding Directorial Achievement in Movies for Television and Miniseries by the Directors Guild of Canada.[3]

[1]

[2] http://www.beboti.com/2016/12/swept-under-review-netflix.html

[3]

title: Swept Under

question: When was the movie released?

answer: 2015

question: Who is the director?

answer: Michel Poulette

question: List the main characters.

answer: Morgan Sher and Nick Hopewell

question: Where was the movie filmed?

answer: Montreal

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: Swept Under is a 2015 Canadian thriller movie directed by Michel Poulette. The movie follows a crime-scene cleaner who works with a novice police detective to find the identity of a killer.


text:
CHURCHILL FULSHEAR, JR. HIGH SCHOOL is a senior high school in the LCISD Education Center in unincorporated Fort Bend County, Texas, adjacent to the City of Fulshear,[1][2] and in the Houston metropolitan area. The school, which serves Fulshear and Simonton,[3][4] is a part of the Lamar Consolidated Independent School District (LCISD). The school's namesake was a part of the Fulshear family, one of the first Anglo white families to settle Texas, and fought in the Texas Revolution.[5]

It is the first high school to primarily serve Fulshear.[6]

History

PBK Architects was hired as the architectural firm.[7]

The school opened in the fall of 2016 with grades 9 and 10, and over the following two years will add grades 11 and 12.[8] The first principal is Daniel Ward. The dedication ceremony occurred in December of that year.[9]

Athletics

The school's first athletic director and American football coach, Oschlor Flemming, previously worked at Dulles High School as the head football coach and Guyer High School in Denton, Texas as the assistant football coach. In 2018 the Fulshear football team will begin varsity games.[10]

Band

The Fulshear High School Charger Band has made tremendous strides in its first year. Over the course of the fall 2016 season, the marching band has won 7 awards: 2 in “Best Percussion/Drumline in Class 4A”, 2 in “Outstanding Soloist in Class 4A”, 1 in “Outstanding Drum Major(s) in Class 4A”, and 2 Class 1 Superior rankings. The band also sent 2 members to the ATSSB (Association of Texas Small School Bands) All-State Band: 1 Jazz Percussionist, and 1 Concert Oboist two years in a row. In the Spring of 2017, 9 members advanced to State Solo and Ensemble Competition. 5 of which were percussionists, the other 4, a woodwind ensemble with the bassoonist advancing on both Solo and Ensemble, along with three percussionists doing the same. The school is set to host the LCISD Pre-UIL Competition and mixed district UIL (University Interscholastic League) Competition for Non-Varsity bands later this spring. In the Fall of 2018, they continued their streak of “1” rank at UIL, and continued to area. At area, they finished 7th overall in Prelims and 2nd in finals, moving them to state. At state, they finished 4th in the preliminary round, and placed 10th overall in finals.

[1] “Home.” Fulshear High School. Retrieved on December 27, 2016. “9302 Bois D'Arc Lane Fulshear, Texas 77441”

[2] “CITY OF FULSHEAR ELECTION DISTRICTS (WHOLE CITY).” City of Fulshear. Retrieved on December 27, 2016.

[3] “High School Attendance Zones.” Lamar Consolidated Independent School District. Retrieved on December 27, 2016.

[4] “2015 City Limits Map.” City of Simonton. Retrieved on December 29, 2016.

[5] “About Fulshear High School.” Fulshear High School. Retrieved on December 27, 2016.

[6]

[7] Kirk, Bryan. “Lamar Consolidated school district continues to build campuses.” _Houston Chronicle_. August 27, 2013. Retrieved on April 7, 2014.

[8]

[9]

[10]

title: Fulshear High School

question: Describe Churchill Fulshear High School.

answer: It is a senior high school in the Lamar Consolidated Independent School District (LCISD) Education Center in unincorporated Fort Bend County, Texas, adjacent to the City of Fulshear, and in the Houston metropolitan area.

question: When did Fulshear High School open?

answer: The fall of 2016.

question: Who is Oschlor Flemming?

answer: He is the school's first athletic director and American football coach who worked at Dulles High School as the head football coach.

question: What awards did the Fulshear High School Charger Band win in their first year?

answer: “Best Percussion/Drumline in Class 4A”, “Outstanding Soloist in Class 4A”, “Outstanding Drum Major(s) in Class 4A”, and Class 1 Superior rankings.

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: The Churchill Fulshear High School is a senior high school in the Lamar Consolidated Independent School District (LCISD) Education Center in unincorporated Fort Bend County, Texas, adjacent to the City of Fulshear, and in the Houston metropolitan area. It opened in the fall of 2016. The Fulshear High School Charger Band has made tremendous strides in its first year, winning seven awards, including “Best Percussion/Drumline in Class 4A”, “Outstanding Soloist in Class 4A”, and “Outstanding Drum Major(s) in Class 4A”.


text:
[1832 first edition, printed by Bradbury and Evans, Edward Moxon, London.][1842 title page, with added poems “Queen Liberty” and “Song-To the Men of England”, J. Watson, London.] _THE MASQUE OF ANARCHY_ (or _The Mask of Anarchy_) is a British political poem written in 1819 (see 1819 in poetry) by Percy Bysshe Shelley following the Peterloo Massacre of that year. In his call for freedom, it is perhaps the first modern statement of the principle of nonviolent resistance.

The poem was not published during Shelley's lifetime and did not appear in print until 1832 (see 1832 in poetry), when published by Edward Moxon in London with a preface by Leigh Hunt.[1] Shelley had sent the manuscript in 1819 for publication in _The Examiner_. Hunt withheld it from publication because he “thought that the public at large had not become sufficiently discerning to do justice to the sincerity and kind-heartedness of the spirit that walked in this flaming robe of verse”. The epigraph on the cover of the first edition is from Shelley's _The Revolt of Islam_ (1818): “Hope is strong; Justice and Truth their winged child have found.”

Use of _masque_ and _mask_ is discussed by Morton Paley;[2] Shelley used _mask_ in the manuscript but the first edition uses _masque_ in the title. The poem has 372 lines, largely in four-line quatrains; two more quatrains appear in some manuscript versions.[3]

Synopsis

Shelley begins his poem, written on the occasion of the Peterloo Massacre, Manchester 1819, with the powerful images of the unjust forms of authority of his time, “God, and King, and Law” – and then imagines the stirrings of a radically new form of social action: “Let a great assembly be, of the fearless, of the free”. The crowd at this gathering is met by armed soldiers, but the protesters do not raise an arm against their assailants:

Shelley elaborates on the psychological consequences of violence met with pacifism. The guilty soldiers, he says, will return shamefully to society, where “blood thus shed will speak / In hot blushes on their cheek”. Women will point out the murderers on the streets, their former friends will shun them, and honourable soldiers will turn away from those responsible for the massacre, “ashamed of such base company”. A version was taken up by Henry David Thoreau in his essay _Civil Disobedience_, and later by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi in his doctrine of _Satyagraha_.[4] Gandhi's passive resistance was influenced and inspired by Shelley's nonviolence in protest and political action.[5] It is known that Gandhi would often quote Shelley's _The Masque of Anarchy_ to vast audiences during the campaign for a free India.[6][7]

The poem mentions several members of Lord Liverpool's government by name: the Foreign Secretary, Castlereagh, who appears as a mask worn by Murder, the Home Secretary, Lord Sidmouth, whose guise is taken by Hypocrisy, and the Lord Chancellor, Lord Eldon, whose ermine gown is worn by Fraud. Led by Anarchy, a skeleton with a crown, they try to take over England, but are slain by a mysterious armoured figure who arises from a mist. The maiden Hope, revived, then calls to the people of England:

Literary criticism

Political authors and campaigners such as Richard Holmes and Paul Foot, among others, describe it as “the greatest political poem ever written in English”.[8][9] In his book _An Encyclopedia of Pacifism_, Aldous Huxley noted the poem's exhortation to the English to resist assault without fighting back, stating “The Method of resistance inculcated by Shelley in _The Mask of Anarchy_ is the method of non-violence”.[10]

Author, educator, and activist Howard Zinn refers to the poem in _A People's History of the United States_. In a subsequent interview, he underscored the power of the poem, suggesting: “What a remarkable affirmation of the power of people who seem to have no power. Ye are many, they are few. It has always seemed to me that poetry, music, literature, contribute very special power.”[11] In particular, Zinn uses “The Mask of Anarchy” as an example of literature that members of the American labour movement would read to other workers to inform and educate them.

Use in politics

The rallying language of the poem had led to elements of it being used by political movements. It was recited by students at the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 and by protesters in Tahrir Square during the Egyptian revolution of 2011.[12] The phrase “like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number” from the poem is used as a motto/slogan by the International Socialist Organization in their organ.[13] The line “Ye are many-they are few” inspired the campaign slogan “We are many, they are few” used by protesters during the Poll tax riots of 1989–90 in the United Kingdom, and also inspired the title of the 2014 documentary film _We Are Many_, which focused on the global 15 February 2003 anti-war protests.[14]

Jeremy Corbyn, the former leader of the British Labour Party, quoted the final stanza from the poem at his rally in Islington, on the final day of campaigning for the 2017 general election. Corbyn subsequently quoted the final stanza again during his speech at the Pyramid stage at the 2017 Glastonbury Festival.[15] Academic and writer John Sutherland has suggested that the title of the party's 2017 manifesto, “For the Many, Not the few”, was derived from the poem.[16] The phrase 'a community in which power, wealth and opportunity are in the hands of the many, not the few' also appears in the revised version of Clause IV of the Labour Party Constitution.[17]

The same variation, “For The Many, Not The Few”, was the sub-title to Robert Reich's 2016 book, _Saving Capitalism_.[18]

In popular culture

[The final verse quoted on the tombstone of Paul Foot] The poem's words “... like lions after slumber, In unvanquishable number” are quoted by the title and closing line of the Scritti Politti song “Lions After Slumber”. They are also referenced in the opening lines of the song “Blaze” by Strike Anywhere and quoted as the epigraph and referenced in the title of the 1940 autobiography of activist Ella Reeve Bloor, _We Are Many_. Lines from the poem are quoted on the sleeve of The Jam's 1980 album _Sound Affects_.

Lines from the poem inspired and are featured in John Vanderslice' 2004 song “Pale Horse”.

The chorus of the 1988 song “Robin Hood” by The Mekons contains the lines “Rise like lions, shake your chains, babe. Ye are many, they are few”.[19]

In the 2006 episode of _Heartbeat_ titled “The Heart of a Man”, Stan Keaton, the character played by Jeff Hordley, quotes the last verse in its entirety whilst standing outside the Aidensfield Arms with his fellow sacked workers.

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

[18]

[19]

title: The Masque of Anarchy

question: What might have happened if Edward Moxon never published 'The Masque of Anarchy'?

answer: The world would have been deprived of 'the greatest political poem ever written in English'. This poem has become the cornerstone of non-violent protests. It stands to reason that without this poem putting non-violent resistance into words, more violent protests would have taken place leading to more loss of life.

question: How did the use of 'The Masque of Anarchy' in politics change over time?

answer: Thoreau took up a version of this poem in his 'Civil Disobedience' essay and Gandhi quoted it in the campaign for a free India. It inspired Gandhi's passive resistance. The poem was used in the American Labor Movement to inform and educate workers. Later it was recited by students at the Tiananmen Square and during the Egyptian Revolution. The phrase 'like lions after slumber, in unvanquishable number' is the slogan of the International Socialist Organization. The phrase 'Ye are many-they are few' is used numerous times for protesting campaigns, political parties, documentaries and books. Jeremy Corbyn of the British Labour Party quoted the poem before and after being elected leader of the party. The phrase 'a community in which power, wealth and opportunity are in the hands of the many, not the few' appears in the Labour Party Constitution.

question: Why did the poem mention several politicians by name?

answer: Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote this poem after the Peterloo Massacre in 1819 and felt betrayed by the politicians of the time. He saw the politicians as embodying murder, hypocrisy and fraud. He probably saw that these were the themes of the Peterloo Massacre leading to lawlessness and death. In the poem the themes of murder, hypocrisy and fraud dress themselves with the masks of the politicians and are led by Anarchy. They are defeated by the maiden Hope before they could take over England.

question: What is the main idea of 'The Masque of Anarchy'?

answer: Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote this poem after the Peterloo Massacre where he was outraged in the way a protest turned into a massacre through unjust forms of authority. His proposal is to meet the violence of these authorities with non-violence and for the protesters not to raise an arm against armed soldiers. He suggests that the community call out the soldiers at home for being murderers. Hope calls to the people of England to do things better in the future.

question: Why does the title place importance on anarchy?

answer: Percy Bysshe Shelley wrote this poem after the Peterloo Massacre, where he endured anarchy as a protest descended into a massacre. He specifically names politicians that misruled throwing the situation into chaos. Shelley powerfully describes Anarchy as a skeleton with a crown that has the mission of taking over England.


text:
  -------------------------------
  [MBA admissions in Bangalore]
  MBA ADMISSIONS IN BANGALORE
  -------------------------------

Business management is a demanding subject that involves perseverance and rational thinking in tough situations. Getting MBA ADMISSIONS IN BANGALORE involves preparation for a rigorous entrance test conducted for this purpose.

A good college for pursuing a versatile program like MBA is the one that has commitment to current and evolving practices in the real-world market. They help the student acquire working knowledge and skills in the basic disciplines of management. These colleges have an updated curriculum as per industry requirements. They guide and mentor their students in every step of the program. The specialization and entrepreneurship program give the students in hand experience of the various projects assigned. Thus, make them industry ready and employable. The teaching method is Research Orientated.

Some of the best colleges for MBA ADMISSION IN BANGALORE are:

-   Xavier Institute of Management and Entrepreneurship
-   IFIM Business School
-   Sambhram Academy of Management Studies
-   Adarsh Institute of Management & Information Technology (AIMIT)

MBA is a two-year program consisting of four semesters. In these two years the student will take part in lectures, case studies, projects and assignments, seminars and workshops. They may also get a chance to hear from some of the prominent dignitaries as a guest speaker in their college campus. These colleges provide their students with various subject options for specialization in the second year of the MBA program. Some of these specialization subjects are:

-   Marketing Management
-   Human Resource Management
-   International Business
-   Finance Management
-   Tourism Management
-   Banking and Insurance Sectors
-   Retail Management
-   Information Technology

ADMISSION PROCEDURE IN VARIOUS MBA COLLEGES

Most of the MBA COLLEGES IN INDIA ask their candidates for their CAT (Common Admission Test) scores. The Common Admission Test (CAT) is a 180-minute test consisting of 100 questions. The online test is conducted every year by the IIMs.There is no age limit for applying for CAT. The question paper consists of 34 Quantitative Ability questions, 34 questions from Verbal Ability and Reading Comprehension, and 32 questions from Data Interpretation and Logical Reasoning.

Some colleges choose to conduct their own entrance exams with or without asking for the candidate’s CAT scores. Few of these entrance exams are:

-   Xavier Aptitude Test (XAT) is conducted by Xavier Association of Management Institutes.   It  is a national entrance exam for admission to the post graduate programs in management  courses of several management institutes all over India.
-   Common Management Admission Test (CMAT) is conducted by the All India Council for  technical Education (AICTE) for admission in all management programmes approved by   AICTE.
-   The Graduate Management Admission Test (GMAT) is conducted by Graduate   Management Admission Council for admission in colleges worldwide.
-   Joint Management Entrance Test (JMET) is the MBA entrance exam for admissions to the management departments of IITs.
-   Management Aptitude Test (MAT) is a national-level management entrance examination, conducted by All India Management Association

    The colleges also conduct Group Discussions and Personal Interviews of selected candidates before  finalizing the admissions.

question: What are the best colleges for MBA admission in Bangalore?

answer: Some of the best colleges in for MBA admission in Bangalore include Xavier Institute of Management and Entrepreneurship, IFIM Business School, Sambhram Academy of Management Studies, and Adarsh Institute of Management & Information Technology.

question: What is an MBA?

answer: An MBA is a two-year program that helps the student acquire working knowledge and skills in the basic disciplines of management.

question: What does the CAT consist of?

answer: The CAT, or Common Admission Test, is a 180-minute test consisting of 100 questions. There are 34 Quantitative Ability questions, 34 questions from Verbal Ability and Reading Comprehension, and 32 questions from Data Interpretation and Logical Reasoning.

question: What are some of the specialization subjects that students can choose within an MBA?

answer: One can specialize in many things, including Marketing Management, Human Resource Management, International Business, and Finance Management.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: This article details MBA programs in Bangalore. It gives a list of the colleges with the best MBA programs, and explains the admission process for MBA programs in India.


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_THE VECTOR_ is an independent student newspaper published by the students of New Jersey Institute of Technology. It has both on-line and print versions. The print edition has an estimated circulation of 3,000[4] from on-campus distribution and a readership of approximately 9,000.[5]

Awards

_The Vector_ won the Honor Rating of First Class from the Associated Collegiate Press in 1989-1990. The Vector is a current member of the Associated Collegiate Press.[6]

_The Vector_ won two awards in the New Jersey Press Foundation's 2019-2020 awards, scoring a second place win for Arts & Entertainment writing and third place for General Excellence.[7]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

title: The Vector (newspaper)

question: What university is The Vector associated with?

answer: The Vector is published by the students of New Jersey Institute of Technology.

question: How large is the readership of The Vector?

answer: The readership is approximately 9000.

question: What awards has The Vector won?

answer: The Vector won the Honor Rating of First Class from the Associated Collegiate Press in 1989-1990. It also won two awards in the New Jersey Press Foundation's 2019-2020 awards.

question: When was The Vector founded?

answer: Not answered.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: The Vector is an independent student newspaper published by the students of New Jersey Institute of Technology.


text:
MICHAEL MANDIBERG (born December 22, 1977) is an American artist, programmer, designer and educator.

Mandiberg's works have been exhibited at venues including; the New Museum for Contemporary Art located in New York City, transmediale Festival[1] in Berlin, Center for Art and Media Karlsruhe (ZKM)[2] in Karlsruhe, Germany, and Ars Electronica Center located in Linz, Austria. Mandiberg's work has also been featured in books like _Tribe_ and Jana's _New Media Art_, Greene's _Internet Art_, and Blais and Ippolito's _At the Edge of Art_.[3] Mandiberg has been written about in _The New York Times_, _Los Angeles Times_, the _Berliner Zeitung_, and _Wired_.

Career

thumb|left|thumbtime=00:08|Print Wikipedia

Mandiberg is a Professor of Media Culture at the College of Staten Island[4] and a Fellow at Eyebeam in New York City.

Mandiberg is the author of _Digital Foundations_, a book which teaches the Bauhaus Basic Course through design software. This work received praise from esteemed creatives such as Ellen Lupton and C.E.B. Reas.[5] Mandiberg is a writer for Digital Foundations and Anti-Advertising Agency blogs. Mandiberg lives in, and bicycles around, Brooklyn.

Mandiberg founded New York Arts Practicum, “a summer arts institute where participants experientially learn to bridge their lives as art students into lives as artists in the world.”[6] Mandiberg also convened the event Experiments in Extra-Institutional Education at City University of New York on April 11, 2013 [7] which led to a special issue of the academic journal Social Text[8] and a yearlong seminar on similar topics co-organized with Carla Herrera-Prats, Cynthia Lawson Jaramillo, and Jennifer Stoops.[9]

Notable works

[Print Wikipedia]

-   Shop Mandiberg was an Internet art piece from 2001 in which Michael Mandiberg offered every last thing Mandiberg owned for sale on the Shop Mandiberg site. From clothing to half used tubes of toothpaste. By the time the store was closed, Mandiberg had sold over 100 items.[10]
-   AfterSherrieLevine.com and AfterWalkerEvans.com which Mandiberg scanned and posted online the photos that Sherrie Levine rephotographed of Walker Evans.[11] A self described “one-liner art prank”[12] given more recursion by placing the work online so it can be printed out, thus creating another reproduction. Another artist Bujar Bala, downloaded scanned photos from AfterWalkerEvans.com and uploaded them on jalbum.net creating an online photo album named _After Michael Mandiberg_. Mandiberg lately continued the reproduction process by creating an Instagram After Michael Mandiberg account and published filtered and reproduced images on Instagram.[13]
-   Oil Standard – commissioned by Turbulence.org[14] is a Firefox plugin that replaces prices on e-commerce websites with the equivalent cost in barrels of crude oil.[15]
-   Print Wikipedia – A visualization of how big Wikipedia is. Includes “spine wallpaper” of 2000 out of 7500 volumes and selected volumes printed out. Entire pdfs for Wikipedia volumes uploaded and available for printing as volumes.[16]

Personal life

Mandiberg prefers gender neutral pronouns, though on occasion selected publications such as the Paris Review (which in one instance bracketed “[He]”) have employed them nevertheless.[17][18][19]

Publications

-   Michael Mandiberg (Editor), _The Social Media Reader_, New York University Press 2012
-   xtine burrough and Michael Mandiberg, _Digital Foundations: An Intro to Media Design with the Adobe Creative Suite_, New Riders/AIGA Design Press 2008[20]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7] Center for the Humanities website

[8]

[9] Extra Institutional Education seminar website

[10] Von Tilman Baumgärtel “Der Ausverkauf des Selbsts” Berliner Zeitung, 05 February 2001

[11] Suzanne Muchnic “A cut-and-paste festival”Los Angeles Times, 26 October 2003

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15] Dan Mitchell Google Finance: A Portal Play?, _The New York Times_, March 26, 2006

[16]

[17] http://www.artandfeminism.org/#people

[18] https://www.instagram.com/mmandiberg/

[19] https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/on-the-shelf/page/85/

[20]

title: Michael Mandiberg

question: What does the article say about Mandiberg's art style?

answer: He works digitally and sometimes incorporates ideas from programming and computer science into his works. One example is when he scanned photos from AfterSherrieLevine.com, which Sherrie Levine rephotographed of Walker Evans. This made the work recursive, especially after placing them online so the photos can be printed. In his other works, he seems to be focusing on conveying a message. His "Oil Standard" plug-in for Firefox, for example, replaces prices with their equivalent cost in barrels of crude oil.

question: What does the article say about Sandy Mandiberg (a.k.a. Sandy Mandy)?


text:
WENDY EWALD (born 1951) is an American photographer and educator.

Early life and education

Wendy Ewald was born in Detroit, Michigan, graduated from Abbot Academy in 1969 and attended Antioch College between 1969 and 1974, as well as the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, where she studied photography with Minor White.

Photography career

She embarked on a career teaching photography to children and young people internationally. In 1969/1970, she taught photography to Innu and Mi'kmaq Native-American children in Canada. Between 1976 and 1980 she taught photography and film-making to students in Whitesburg, Kentucky, in association with Appalshop, a media co-op. In 1982, she traveled to Ráquira, Colombia, on a Fulbright fellowship working with children and community groups; spending a further two years in Gujarat, India.[1]

Her work is directed toward “helping children to see” and using the “camera as a tool for expression”.[2] In recent years, Ewald has produced a number of conceptual installations—for example, in Margate, England, and in Amherst, Massachusetts—making use of large-scale photographic banners. Ewald was one of the founders of the Half Moon Photography Workshop in the East End of London; and in 1989 she created the “Literacy through Photography” programmes in Houston, Texas, and Durham, North Carolina.[3]

She was senior research associate at the Center for International Studies at Duke University, visiting artist at Amherst College and director of the Literacy through Photography International program and artist in residence at the Duke University Center for International Studies.[4][5]

In 2012, Ewald, along with Elizabeth Barret, was awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship for Creative Arts - Photography.[6] For the Fellowship, they collaborated on a multimedia project called _Portraits and Dreams: A Revisitation._ The project is a sequel to Ewald's previous book, _Portraits and Dreams._ Published in 1985, this book is a collection of photographs and writings that focused on students Ewald taught in the Appalachian Mountains. Ewald re-engaged with the former students, now in their forties, to curate photographs, objects, and audiovisual material related to those years, as well as create new materials for their installation.

Ewald was invited to participate in the photography collective This Place, centered around Israel and the West Bank. For her project she distributed cameras to 14 different groups of people, gathered thousands of images, and selected 500.[7] She gave cameras to owners of stalls and stores at the Mahane Yehuda marketplace in Jerusalem, Arab women and Romanis in Jerusalem's Old City, schoolchildren in Nazareth, residents of Hebron, Negev Bedouin and high-tech employees in Tel Aviv. This was Ewald's first attempt to document an entire country, and the first use of digital cameras and color photography in her international projects.[8]

Throughout Ewald's career, she has had individual exhibitions at multiple galleries, including the International Center of Photography in New York City, the Fotomuseum Winterthur, Switzerland, the Corcoran Gallery of Art, and the Whitney Biennial in 1997.[9]

Personal life

Ewald is married to Tom McDonough, a writer and cinematographer. They live in the Hudson Valley of New York with their son, Michael.[10]

Works

-   _Appalachia: A Self-Portrait_ (Edited) Foreword by Robert Coles, Text by Loyal Jones, (Frankfort, KY: Gnomon Press for Appalshop, 1979)
-   _Appalachian Women: Three Generations_ (Whitesburg, KY: Appalshop, 1981)
-   _Retrato de un Pueblo_ (Bogotá, Colombia: Museo de Arte Moderno, 1983).
-   _Portraits and Dreams: Photographs and Stories by Children of the Appalachians,_ with an introduction by Robert Coles, afterword by Ben Lifson, (New York: Writers and Readers Publications, Inc., 1985)
    -   Mack, 2020. .[11][12]
-   _Magic Eyes: Scenes from an Andean Girlhood_ from stories told by Alicia Ewald and María Vásquez, photographs by Wendy Ewald and children of Ráquira (Seattle, WA: Bay Press, 1992)
-   _I Dreamed I Had a Girl in My Pocket: The Story of an Indian Village_ with stories and photographs by the children of Vichya, India (New York: Doubletake Books and W.W.Norton,1996)
-   _Secret Games: Collaborative Works with Children 1969-1999_ (Zurich; New York: Scalo, 2000)
-   _I Wanna Take Me A Picture: Teaching Photography and Writing To Children_ (Boston; Beacon Press, 2001)
-   _American Alphabets_ (Zurich; New York: Scalo, 2005)
-   _The Best Part of Me,_ Children talk about their bodies in pictures and words (Boston; New York; London: Little, Brown and Company, 2002)
-   _In Peace and Harmony: Carver Portraits, Hand Workshop_ (Virginia: Visual Arts Center of Richmond, 2006)
-   _Towards A Promised Land_ (Göttingen: Steidl, 2006) [13][14]
-   ]

-   _American Alphabets_ (Scalo Verlag Ac, 2005)
-   _This Is Where I Live_ (Mack) 2015
-   ''America Border Culture Dreamer: The Young Adult Immigrant Experience from A to Z ''(Little Brown Books for Young Readers 2018), a Carter G. Woodson Book Award winner at the middle level for 2019[15]

Awards

-   1992: MacArthur Fellowship
-   2010: Visionary Woman Award from Moore College of Art & Design[16]
-   2012: Guggenheim Fellowship for Creative Arts - Photography from the John Simon Guggenheim Memorial Foundation, with Elizabeth Barret, for _Portraits and Dreams: A Revisitation_[17]

Bibliography

-   Thomas Frick, _Wendy Ewald at Clarence Kennedy,_ _Art in America_ (July 1986), 127, 129.
-   Taylor Holliday, _Children's photos at Whitney Biennial: 1997 Whitney Biennial exhibition features collaborative work by photographer Wendy Ewald and child photographers from around the world,_ _The Wall Street Journal,_ Wednesday, March 14, 1997, A20.
-   Charles Hagen, _Wendy Ewald: exhibition of photographs at the James Danzinger Gallery, New York, New York,_ _The New York Times,_ Friday, June 10, 1994, C18.
-   Caitlin Kelly, _Magic Eyes: Scenes from an Andean Childhood,_ _The New York Times_ Book Review, Sunday, November 29, 1992.
-   Barbara Mujica, _Magic Eyes: Scenes from an Andean Girlhood,_ Americas, English Edition, vol. 45, no. 5 (September–October, 1993), 60-61.

[1] _Wendy Ewald_ (Biography) Berkley accessed 9 April 2009

[2] _Philosophy_ (Conversation with Wendy Ewald) Berkely accessed 9 April 2009

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8] Seeing Jerusalem through the lens of a camera, Haaretz

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

title: Wendy Ewald

question: When was Wendy Ewald born?

answer: 1951.

question: What does Wendy Ewald do?

answer: She is a photographer and educator.

question: What schools did Wendy Ewald attend?

answer: Abbot Academy, Antioch College and Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

question: Where was Wendy Ewald born?

answer: Detroit, Michigan.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: This article is about Wendy Ewald, a photographer and educator.


text:
[General Napoleon Bonaparte, commander of the Armée d'Italie on the bridge at Arcole]

The ARMY OF ITALY () was a field army of the French Army stationed on the Italian border and used for operations in Italy itself. Though it existed in some form in the 16th century through to the present, it is best known for its role during the French Revolutionary Wars (in which it was one of the early commands of Napoleon Bonaparte, during his Italian campaign) and Napoleonic Wars.

History

[French Army entering Rome in 1798]

Bonaparte's reforms

Poorly supplied (uniforms and shoes were rare), and only getting reinforcements irregularly, the Army of Italy was sometimes reduced to looting to survive. When Bonaparte arrived (he took up command on 27 March 1796), indiscipline was rife. Chouan songs were sung by the troops, and a company of the Dauphin was formed. All the while improving the supply system as much as possible, Bonaparte also reestablished discipline. He condemned officers who had cried _Vive le roi !_, (English: “Live the king!”), dismissed the 13th regiment of hussards for indiscipline and dissolved an entire regiment when it revolted at the end of March. Purged in this way, the Army of Italy was subsequently the most Jacobin of all the French armies.

Its first victories improved things - allowing better resupply and easing pay problems through “war contributions” from the conquered lands - but memoirs (though not official communiques) speak of individual or collective failures right up to 1797.

Reserve army

Much of the original Armée d'Italie became the Army of Egypt. Another army, originally called the armée de Réserve, was formed at Dijon on 8 March 1800 (17 ventôse year VIII) and took the title Armée d'Italie on 23 June 1800 (4 messidor year VIII) when it was merged with the remains of the original Armée d'Italie. The new army's first commander was Masséna, followed by Bonaparte (as First Consul and “Commander in person”) and général Berthier (its 'Général en chef' from 2 April to 23 June 1800).[1] It was under Berthier that this army beat the Austrians at the Battle of Marengo on 14 June 1800 (25 prairial year 8).[2]

Commanders

-   from 7 November to 25 December 1792: General d'Anselme, with neither the title nor the prerogative of a general
-   from 26 December 1792 to 9 February 1793, interim: _maréchal de camp_ Brunet
-   from 10 February to 4 May 1793: General Biron
-   from 5 May to 8 August 1793: General Brunet ; from 2 June subordinate to General Kellermann
-   from 9 August 1793 to 20 November 1794: General du Merbion
-   Army before Toulon (_Armée devant Toulon_):
    -   from 5 September to 6 November 1793: General Carteaux
    -   from 7 to 12 November, interim: General La Poype
    -   from 13 to 15 November, provisionally until the arrival of General Dugommier: General Doppet
    -   from 16 November to 28 December: General Dugommier with the title of General and commander of the Army of Italy (_général en chef de armée d'Italie_)
-   from 21 November 1794 to 5 May 1795: General Schérer
-   from 6 May to 28 September 1795: General Kellermann,[3] commanded the merged Army of Italy and Army of the Alps (_armée des Alpes_), with the designation of the Army of Italy
-   from 29 September 1795 to 26 March 1796: General Schérer, resigned
-   from 27 March 1796 to 16 November 1797: General Bonaparte
-   from 17 November to 21 December 1797, interim: General Kilmaine
-   from 22 December 1797 to 3 April 1798: General Berthier
-   from 4 April to 27 July 1798: General Brune
-   from 28 July to 18 August 1798, interim: General Gaultier
-   from 19 August to 31 October 1798: General Brune
-   from 1 November 1798 to 31 January 1799: General Joubert, as part of the overall command of the Army of Rome (_armée de Rome_). From 11 to 25 December, the army's commander was effectively General Moreau.
-   from 1 February to 6 March: General Delmas
-   from 7 to 11 March 1799, provisional: General Bruneteto Sainte-Suzanne
-   from 12 March to 26 April 1799: General Schérer, as part of his overall command of the Army of Naples (_armée de Naples_)
-   from 27 April to 4 August 1799: General Moreau, as part of his overall command of the Army of Naples
-   from 5 to 15 August 1799: General Joubert, commander of both the Army of Italy and the Army of the Alps, killed at the battle of Novi
-   from 15 August to 20 September 1799: General Moreau
-   from 21 September to 30 December 1799: General Championnet
-   from 31 December 1799 to 5 January 1800: General Suchet[4]
-   from 6 to 15 January 1800, interim: General Marbot
-   from 16 January to 16 June 1800: General Masséna[5]
-   from 17 to 24 June 1800, interim: General Suchet
-   from 25 June to 21 August 1800: General Masséna
-   from 22 August 1800 to 7 March 1801: General Brune[6]
-   from 8 March to 27 August 1801, interim: General Moncey[7]

Campaigns and battles

-   21 September 1794 : First Battle of Dego (won thanks to its artillery commander, Bonaparte)
-   24 November 1795 : battle of Loano (unexploited victory) by Benedetto of Savoy, Duke of Chablais
-   First Italian Campaign
-   Second Italian Campaign

1805-1814

Armée d'Italie participated in the war of the Third Coalition (1805), in the battles of Verona and Caldiero in northern Italy, under André Massena. During the war of the Fifth Coalition (1809), Armée d'Italie was commanded by Eugène de Beauharnais, and fought the Austrians at Sacile, Caldiero, Piave, and Raab. In 1813-1814 Eugéne fought the Austrians with his army in northern Italy (Battle of Mincio).[8]

[1] “The consular magistracy was essentially civil, the principal of the division of powers and of ministers' responsibilities made it undesirable that the first magistrate of the Republic should be immediately in command of an Armée; but no disposition, just as no principle, would oppose that which was present ... As it turned out, the First Consul commanded the armée de réserve, and Berthier, his major général, took the title général en chef.” : Memoirs of Napoléon, volume VI, page 196

[2] Alexandre Berthier, Relation de la bataille de Marengo ...; Paris 1805. // Le Capitaine de Cugnac, Campagne de l’armée de Réserve en 1800; Paris 1900

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

title: Army of Italy (France)

question: Summarize the events that occurred in the time period of 1805-1814.

answer: During the time period of 1805-1814, the Armee d'Italie participated in the war of the Third Coalition. The battles that the army participated in were the battles of Verona and Caldiero, under Andre Massena. Afterwards, in 1809, the army was commanded by Eugene de Beauharnais, and fought the Austrians at Sacile, Caldiero, Piave, and Raab. Then, during 1813-1814, Eugen fought with the Austrians with his army in norther Italy.

question: Summarize the portion of the text discussing Bonaparte's reforms.

answer: Bonaparte's reforms helped to uplift the morale of the Army of Italy. Before he came, the army was only getting reinforcements irregularly and sometimes had to loot to survive. Once Bonaparte came, he reestablished discipline. He went as far as to dismiss the 13th regiment of hussards for indiscipline and dissolved an entire regiment. Once the army won a few victories, things got better for the army and they started to receive a better resupply.

question: Summarize the impact that would have been made by the many different commanders that were seen to command the Army of Italy.


text:
My head was collapsed into my hands. The detective rapped his fingers slowly on the desk, his eyes bored into my hair asking the same question he, and others had been repeating for days. "Why did you kill her?".

I was unable to meet his gaze as I explained what had happened with us. He didn't believe me. How could he? Can you explain God to a faithless man? Can you describe rainbows to the blind or song to the deaf? My case was hopeless.
He was not a detective in the sense of Sherlock Holmes, he had already made up his mind and was now just gathering confidence in my conviction. There was no curious case of the lack of barking dog, just DNA, fingerprints and logic.
I couldn't blame him for his doubt, I was nervous and the last week had taken its toll on my body. Unable to sleep or eat, my previously taut skin now hung lazily on my features. My dull eyes looked back at me in the mirror without a flash of recognition, I was a stranger to myself. I looked and felt a wreck, he could see it as well.

I have always had trouble under pressure. Everyone seemed different and more at ease in the the day to day runnings of the world. Children lacked concern, adults lacked doubt and I sat somewhere between, removed from both. My parents realized something was amiss from an early age and attempted to correct my social fallacies by intentionally placing me in situations where I would need to find my own way. My mother in particular thrived on correcting me whenever possible and I began to abhor contact with her. Comfort came in the exciting but textually safe world of books. From a young age I learnt to live vicariously through the life of others, whether stealing chickens with Mr. Fox or logical conundrums with Alice in wonderland, books represented a fantasic reprieve from the unpredictable social experiment. My mother eventually gave up and focused on the other children, leaving me mostly to my own.

While I enjoyed this social removal, as a consequence it allowed my phycosis to grow and at seven years old was placed in a special school and loosely defined as autistic. The work was easy and the children strange so I mostly had time to myself while the teachers frantaticly took care of the others. I withdrew from the class and in some aspects the whole of society. My mother was growing increasingly despondant at my condition but busy with three other children, there was very little she could do.

It was in one these periods of social removal that I first heard Nameless speak. It happened one day at school when the teacher was berating me over a lack of interest in her group lesson. I was positioned by her in the back of the room, until I was ready to learn. This was usually of no concern to me, however I felt incensed today as she had singled me out. I absentmindedly picked up a lego block and was pleasantly examining the design when a voice in my head suggested I throw it. The voice was very loud and had a curious high pitched, yet older tone. The voice continued daring me to throw it at the teacher, mocking my complacency. At this stage in life I often followed any orders with little contest so I threw the block at the teacher, striking her just below the eye. A slight trickle of blood appeared and she stormed towards me with furious intention. The mocking voice went silent.

My mind has gone blank on the incident but I returned home with a sore cheek and a painful scratch on my arm. I was told that particular teacher had to be removed because she didn't understand why I was special. Later in the evening both parents came into my room and regarded me with alien stares. When questioned on why I had thrown the toy I stayed silent until my parents left me alone. My mother returned an hour later with a hug and a toy. The toy was handmade, a male, with crude stitching down the sides where tuffs of cotton poked out of the gaps and sporting lopsided grin. Its two eyes were small black buttons, which left me feeling uneasy when I looked at them. She explained to me this toy was to be used when I was feeling frustrated and that I could throw or bend it, but never take my frustration out on someone innocent.

I was still concerned by the toy but didn't want to upset mother so it quickly became inseperable from me by nessesity. This abated some of her worry as she felt we now shared a connection from this. It was later revealed that she had made him especially for me. Given to me in response to a brief rebellion I felt this toy represented my bad qualities. He was quiet like me but his eyes were mean and distant. His grin reminded me of a boy in my class with palsy. It began normal on one side then twisted down, giving him the impression of perpetual sardonic laughter. He had been given to me as a result of being bad and I was reluctant to name him after any of the characters I enjoyed in books. He remained nameless for so long he eventually adopted the name Nameless. I rationalised Nameless had made me throw the lego, and that the mocking voice was his. As much as I blamed him and felt strange having him close to me, the companionship was needed and I began to talk more to him than anyone.
It was several months before he talked again. It started off with strange movements, I would leave him somewhere and would almost always find him in a slightly different position.
It was around then Nameless began to respond to me in short jarring words. He would only speak to me and often say something topical and then fall silent for long periods of time. His words were jarring and offensive but often say what I felt but couldn't express. I was barely talking around the age of ten but nameless allowed me to express myself at small injustices that came my way.

title: 'Nameless'

question: What is the likely gender of the narrator?

answer: The narrator is likely male, based on the resemblance he bears to the male doll he is given and how he identifies with it physically.

question: Why did the narrator throw the lego?

answer: He threw the lego at his teacher because a voice (attributed to the being known as Nameless) told him to do it, after the teacher angered him by scolding him for not participating and placing him in the back of the room.

question: Who is 'Nameless'?

answer: Nameless is a toy given to the narrator by his mother, a handmade doll meant to be a tool to help control his negative emotions. Nameless eventually took on the former descriptor 'nameless' as an actual name.

question: Who has been killed?

answer: From the extended description of the narrator's resentment towards his mother, it is implied that she is the person whose death is being investigated, with the narrator as the prime murder suspect.


text:
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Skip to comments.

HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL IN TWENTY EASY STEPS
NANCEESTAR ^
Posted on 11/08/2001 12:26:14 PM PST by SAMWOLF

1.  Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.
2.  With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Drop pill into mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
3.  Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.
4.  Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.
5.  Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.
6.  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7.  Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8.  Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9.  Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Get last pill from bottle. Go into bathroom and get a fluffy towel. Stay in the bathroom with the cat, and close the door.
16. Sit on bathroom floor, wrap towel around kitty, leaving only his head exposed. Cradle kitty in the crook of your arm, and pick up pill off of counter.
17. Retrieve cat from top of shower door (you didn't know that cats can jump 5 feet straight up in the air, did you?), and wrap towel around it a little tighter, making sure its paws can't come out this time. With fingers at either side of its jaw, pry it open and pop pill into mouth. Quickly close mouth (his, not yours).
18. Sit on floor with cat in your lap, stroking it under the chin and talking gently to it for at least a half hour, while the pill dissolves.
19. Unwrap towel, open bathroom door. Wash off scratches in warm soapy water, comb your hair, and go find something to occupy your time for 7-1/2 hours.
20. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

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TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:

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NAVIGATION: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-60, 61-80, 81-84 next last

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1 posted on 11/08/2001 12:26:14 PM PST by SAMWolf

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To: SAMWOLF

What a revolting cat!

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To: SAMWOLF

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

Aw man, my side hurts! ROFLMAO!!!!

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

ROTFLMAO!!!

5 posted on 11/08/2001 12:41:13 PM PST by SAMWolf

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To: SAMWOLF

LOL -- May I suggest rolling the pill in mouse paste first? That is one use for the food processor that Martha Stewart hasn't come up with yet -- the making of mouse paste for medicinal purposes.

6 posted on 11/08/2001 12:41:46 PM PST by swampfox98

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

Ha ha. LOL.

7 posted on 11/08/2001 12:42:46 PM PST by Kay

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To: SAMWOLF

Funny. LOL. There's a good one about cooking a turkey also.

8 posted on 11/08/2001 12:43:34 PM PST by Kay

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To: SAMWOLF

LOL This is a treasure, SAM! BTTT

9 posted on 11/08/2001 12:44:34 PM PST by brat

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

ROTFL That's the funniest site I've seen in a long time!

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To: SAMWOLF

Giving a cat a pill is tough, but I need to give my cat ear medicine, simply put, she don't want it, any tips would be helpful.

11 posted on 11/08/2001 12:47:11 PM PST by WhatNot

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To: SAMWOLF

Giving a cat a pill is tough, but I need to give my cat ear medicine, simply put, she don't want it, any tips would be helpful.

12 posted on 11/08/2001 12:47:24 PM PST by WhatNot

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To: SAMWOLF

How to give a dog a pill:

1. Insert pill into a spoonful of peanut butter (or canned dog food).
2. Place spoonful of peanut butter or dog food into dog's dish.
3. Stand back.

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

ROTFLMAO! Thanks for the cat enema link.

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To: SAMWOLF

The funny(?) thing is, that my husband and I have tried almost every step for our neurotic cat Raja. The only thing we haven't tried is putting her in a cadinet with only the head showing!

Anytime she gets sick my stomache churns just thinking about attempting to give her medicine. She gets sick often due to her neurosis. The best trick is the giant fluffy towel with the bathroom door closed. Just a bit of advice from multiple pill experience!

15 posted on 11/08/2001 12:48:33 PM PST by Grenada

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To: SAMWOLF

I can give a cat a pill in two steps:

1. Shoot cat.
2. Shove pill up cat's behind.

16 posted on 11/08/2001 12:49:49 PM PST by Solson

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To: HILLARY'S FOLLY

That's hysterical, Hillary's Folly! LOL

17 posted on 11/08/2001 12:51:05 PM PST by brat

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To: SAMWOLF

How 'bout the tried & true method of removing some of the bird shot from a 12 gauge shell and inserting the pill, and, well, the rest is easy after that.

18 posted on 11/08/2001 12:51:08 PM PST by Triple

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To: WHATNOT

The towel trick works for ear drops as well. Its helpful to have a friend or spouse hold the cat while you put the drops in. Be sure to hold the cats head still(if not, the drop will end up on your face and all over the walls.)

After you put the drop in close the cats ear with your thumb and forefinger. Massage the ear gently to work the drop in!

Good luck!

19 posted on 11/08/2001 12:51:57 PM PST by Grenada

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To: SAMWOLF

Here's my cat's reaction.....[]

20 posted on 11/08/2001 12:52:01 PM PST by JulieRNR21

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question: What is the cat's owner trying to do?

answer: Give the cat a pill.

question: What part of the body should cat owners cradle the cat prior to giving the pill?

answer: The crook of the elbow.

question: How can a cat's mouth be pried open?

answer: By using forefinger and thumb to gently apply pressure to the cat's cheeks.

question: What does the author advise as a last resort (if all methods to give pill fail?)

answer: Call the SPCA to get the cat and buy a hamster from a pet shop.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: The post's author writes a satirical twenty-step plan of how to give a pill to a cat.


text:
[Roland Frühstück (2017)] ROLAND FRÜHSTÜCK (born 8 February 1958, Bregenz, Austria) is an Austrian politician for the Austrian People's Party (ÖVP). Frühstück has been, since 2009, deputy to the Vorarlberg State Parliament, and is currently serving as the ÖVP representative (_klubobmann_) in the state parliament.

Education and profession

Frühstück grew up in Vorarlberg's capital of Bregenz, where he graduated from trade school in 1972. Following his trade school, he passed his matura under the Business Academy in Bregenz. In 1979, he graduated from the Business Academy and began studying German and sports as part of a teaching degree at the University of Innsbruck. In 1984, he graduated.

Frühstück's first professional job was at the Business Academy in Schwaz, where he taught for a year before HTL Rankweil changed back to Vorarlberg. In 1993, he led a professional career back in his hometown when he began teaching at the Bregenzer Bundesgymnasium Blumenstraße. Since 1995, he has been in various management positions of the handball club Bregenz Handball. His career as a teacher ended in 2006 when he became a politician. After the trainer of Bregenz Handball was dismissed in February 2012, Frühstück took over his position as a sports director.[1]

Political career

Frühstück's political career began in 2000, when he was a part of the mayoral election in Bregenz for the ÖVP and for town council and was elected into town council. As a town councilor, he managed the department of real estate and sport from 2005. After the Vorarlberg state elections in 2009, he was a mandated substitute for then Governor Herbert Sausgruber, who was elected into the Vorarlberg Landtag. On 7 December 2011, he was chosen as the successor of the Vorarlberg state government, appointed Rainer Gögele, who ÖVP Vorarlberg branch selected for their party chairman in the parliament.

Personal life

Roland Frühstück has been married since July 8, 1988 and is the father of a son and a daughter. He lives with his family in Bregenz.

His son, Lukas Frühstück, is an active handball player for Bregenz Handball.

In March 2012, Roland Frühstück was arrested for driving under the influence. Both he and his political companions later described this as a serious mistake.[2]

[1] ORF Vorarlberg: _Bregenz-Trainer entlassen: ÖVP-Klubobmann übernimmt_.

[2] Kleine Zeitung: _ÖVP-Politiker verlor Führerschein nach Alko-Fahrt_.

title: Roland Frühstück

question: What party is Fruhstuck a member of?

answer: The Austrian People's Party

question: When was Fruhstuck born?

answer: February 8, 1958

question: When did he graduate from trade school?

answer: 1972

question: For what club is he a sports director?

answer: Bregenz Handball

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: Roland Fruhstuck is an Austrian politician for the Austrian People's Party. Since 2009, he was been deputy to the Vorarlberg State Parliament, and he currently serves as a representative in the state parliament. Since 2012, he has also been a sports director for Bregenz Handball, a handball club.


text:
 Monday, 7:00 am
The past couple of days have felt slightly... off. Although, I can't explain exactly what it feels like on paper. The best analogy I can possibly generate: everything just feels slightly tinted. The kind of tint that needs to be washed away. But how could this happen? I tried retracing steps countless times; yet nothing jumps out at me. It's the same as it's always been. I wake up at exactly 6:30 and let the alarm ring itself 10 times. I then walk over to the bathroom, making sure that I don't take any more or less than 10 steps to get there.

 I know, it seems strange so far but it's really not that bad. Afterwards, I take the towel off of the shower rod, unfold it; then refold it again and set it back on the shower rod. I routinely proceed to slide the shower curtain to the left, I then step into the shower, and slide the curtain back over to the right making sure to spread it out equally so that no water can escape. Now, I think this might be where everything went wrong. I pulled the shower handle outwards to turn the water on; then turned it all the way to the left. Except there was one thing that didn't fit the puzzle. What could it be though? I've been sitting here trying to figure it out for over 10 minutes now, I still can't put my finger on what it is. Anyways, it's almost 7:30 now; I should probably leave to go to work.

Monday, 5:30 pm

It all makes sense to me now, how could I have been so blind before? While I was walking my way to work; making sure to fit exactly 2 steps in every concrete square on the sidewalk, the solution had finally presented itself to me. It was that damned shower. I had forgotten to make sure that I turned the handle to the left until it clicked. I guess I must have just imagined that I turned it all the way. That makes perfect sense, and it also explains why the water had felt less scalding than it usually does. I'm such an idiot sometimes.
Well, I suppose there's no need for me to write about this anymore. I'm just glad that I can at last wash the tint away.

Tuesday, 7:00 am

No, this cannot be happening to me. The tint is still here. To make matters worse, I think the tint is darker than it was to start with. Maybe I'm just exaggerating, I don't even know what to do anymore. There isn't anything else that could have gone wrong besides the shower, I'm absolutely sure of it. After the shower, the only other part of the routine worth considering is getting dressed. For most people, choosing the right outfit for the day seems to be the hardest part of the morning. For me, it's the least methodical thing I do. Same black dress pants and blue dress shirt every single day. Oh, and of course the pen. I don't know if it's really worth mentioning, but before I walk out of the door I make sure to grab the pen off of the kitchen counter. I have an office job, so it comes in handy. I click it in and back out three times then put it on my dress shirt's chest pocket before leaving to go to work.

No, It's no use, none of those small routines could have been messed up. I'm now more scared than I've ever been before, and I can't help but think: what happens when the tint gets even darker?
I need to pull myself together, it's almost 7:30 now; I should probably leave to go to work.

Tuesday, 3:30 pm

My boss fired me today. He claims that I'm "Completely psychotic." It's strange, I don't know what made me drive the pen into his throat, but I'm so glad that I did. The smile has yet to leave my face. I can hardly believe it, I feel the tint starting to fade away.

P.S. To whomever finds this short journal, don't mind the blood on this last page.

I couldn't find any other pen to write with.

title: Tint

question: Summarize the narrator's Monday morning.

answer: The narrator wakes up around 6:30 and then walks to the bathroom making sure it doesn't take more than 10 steps. He then takes the towel off the shower rod, folds it, and places it back again. He then shifts the shower curtain from the left to the right and takes a shower. By 7:30 he leaves for work.

question: What doesn't feel right about his Monday morning?

answer: After he pulls the shower handle outwards to turn the water on, he turns the handle all the way to the left. Something there didn't feel right. The narrator sat in the shower for 10 minutes trying to figure out what went wrong but could not figure.

question: Does the narrator realize what went wrong during the shower on Monday?

answer: While walking to work on Tuesday, the narrator realizes what he had forgotten. It struck him that he hadn't turned the shower handle all the way to the left until it clicked.

question: Does the narrator's tint go?

answer: No, the following day his tint gets worse, or so he believes.

question: Write a ~6 sentence summary.

answer:
The narrator wakes up on Monday with a tint. He follows his usual morning routine but he feels like he has forgotten something. In the evening he realizes that he forgot to turn his shower handle all the way to the left till it clicked.

The next he wakes up with the tint again and goes to work. At work, his boss fires him claiming that he is "completely psychotic". The narrator had driven his pen into his boss's throat.


text:
Two-thirds of Britons said they are living an +unfulfilled life, according to a new poll.

Despite an overwhelming majority of people saying they have a bucket list, financial limitations and time restrictions mean most of us have only ticked off between one and five items on it.

Londoners were found to have the most time constraints, having just 83 minutes a day of spare time to do what they want to.

That compares to people in the North-west who have the most time (130 minutes), followed by the South-east (108 minutes), Scotland (107 minutes) and Yorkshire (104 minutes).

But, despite being time-poor those in the capital were found to have the richest lives, with 45 per cent considering themselves fulfilled.

Those who, overall, have more time and fall into the lower end of the spectrum include the South-west, Scotland and Yorkshire, demonstrating that having more time does not necessarily result in feeling as if you have a fulfilled life.

“People think you need more time to chase your dreams, but it’s really the people who have less time that are seeking a richer life," said Dom South, Marketing Director for Old Speckled Hen, which commissioned the research. "It shows that you just need to use your time wisely.

As well as geography, annual earnings also dictate how time-poor people feel.

Forty eight per cent of people who earn between £20,000 – £45,000 claim they don’t have enough time to do what they want in their life. Whereas almost three quarters of those earning more than £45,000 feel that they do.

One in six under the age of 45 considers themselves to be unfulfilled, rising to 20 per cent of people between the ages of 45-54 years old.

 UK news in pictures

Show all 50

Married couples, meanwhile, are twice as likely to have extrovert traits compared to those who haven’t yet tied the knot. They also join their bucket lists together creating a single list and expanding it from five to six items.

Seeking these new experiences generally makes us happier, gives us a better quality of life and gives us more meaning to the limited time we have to actually do what we want to do.

To reward their customers, Old Speckled Hen has launched a competition encouraging fans to submit photos of themselves living a richer life.

_SWNS_

question: Why do Britons think they are living an unfulfilled life?

answer: They believe they lack the time and money to fulfill their goals.

question: Why are married couples more extroverted?

answer: Information can't be found.

question: Why do people believe that more time means a chance at a more fulfilled life?

answer: Despite this not being the case, most Britons believe this because of their bad time management.

question: How does this differ in different age groups?

answer: Twenty percent of people between the ages 45-54 years old seem to feel more fulfilled than those in younger age groups.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: Two-thirds of Britons consider themselves unfulfilled, believing they lack the time to reach their goals. Dom South, Marketing Director for Old Speckled Hen, tells readers that research has proven that this is still possible if time is managed better.


text:
is a Japanese automobile tuner and parts manufacturer. The company was founded by Japanese automotive engineer and driver, Kazuhiko “Smokey” Nagata.[1]

The company is mainly known for its body kits and performance engineering. Top Secret is also known for its illegal Wangan high speed runs, professional Drifting, Circuit, and Drag Racing. A recognizable feature of many Top Secret tuned cars are their gold paint schemes. Only cars that Nagata deem to be his best work receive this paint scheme.

Ryuji Miki won Round 5, and ultimately won the 2004 Japanese D1GP championship in a Nissan Silvia S15 racing for Top Secret.[2] In 2005 Miki won an exhibition round at Silverstone Circuit in the UK in a Nissan Fairlady Z.

In 2007, Yoichi Imamura took 3rd place at Round 3 and 6 at Suzuka and Autopolis respectively. Imamura also won an exhibition round at Las Vegas Motor Speedway the same year.

Top Secret won the 2007 Tokyo Auto Salon Championship with its “Final Evolution” V12 twin turbo Toyota Supra.[3]

At the 2017 Tokyo Auto Salon, Top Secret debuted an R32 Nissan Skyline GT-R that had been transplanted with the engine, driveline, and interior of the newer R35 Nissan GT-R. The tuning company dubbed this car the “Skyline VR32 GT-R”.[4]

“Smokey” Nagata

Kazuhiko Nagata grew up in the northernmost Hokkaido province of Japan working on his parents’ farm. Nagata became interested in automobiles and started working as a mechanic at the local Toyota dealership. It was there that Nagata began modifying cars and street racing.

Nagata moved to Tokyo and became a shop assistant for the aftermarket tuning company Trust. There he started working after hours in the motorsport division, creating parts for himself. Company executives caught him eventually and instead of reprimanding him, they were impressed by his skill and advised him to keep his activities “top secret”. This became the inspiration for the name of his future company.[5]

In 1999 Nagata famously shipped a Toyota Supra producing over 1000 horse power to England with the goal of going 200 mph on the A1 expressway. He got to 197 mph on wet roads in the middle of the night before being pulled over by police. Nagata was jailed for the night and forced to pay a £190 fine. He was subsequently forced to leave the country the next day and banned from driving in England for 28 days.[6]

Racing Results

D1GP

  Year                Car                        Driver           Drivers' rankings
  ------------------- -------------------------- ---------------- -------------------
  2002                Nissan Silvia S14          Ryuji Miki       28th
  Nissan Silvia S15
  2003                Nissan Silvia S15          Ryuji Miki       13th
  2004                1.  10 Nissan Silvia S15   Ryuji Miki       1st
  2005                Nissan Fairlady Z Z33      Ryuji Miki       16th
  2006                Nissan Fairlady Z Z33      Yoichi Imamura   15th
  2007                Nissan Fairlady Z Z33      Yoichi Imamura   6th

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]  Japanese nutter gene {{!}} drifting and speeding|newspaper=CAR Magazine|access-date=2017-01-13}}

title: Top Secret (company)

question: Who founded the Top Secret company?

answer: It was founded by Japanese automotive engineer and driver, Kazuhiko "Smokey" Nagata.

question: Who is Ryuji Miki?

answer: He seems to be a race car driver.

question: Who is "Smokey" Nagata?

answer: He is a Japanese automotive engineer and driver, Kazuhiko "Smokey" Nagata who founded Top Secret.

question: What happened in 1999?

answer: Nagata famously shipped a Toyota Supra producing over 1000 horse power to England. He got to 197 mph in the middle of the night (the goal was 200 mph), and was pulled over for police. He was then jailed for the night and banned from driving in England for 28 days.

question: What is one thing Top Secret is known for?

answer: It's known for its illegal Wangan high speed runs, professional Drifting, Circuit, and Drag Racing.

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: This article discusses Top Secret, a Japanese automobile tuner and parts manufacturer. The company was founded by Japanese automotive engineer and driver, Kazuhiko “Smokey” Nagata. The company is known for its body kits, performance engineering, its illegal Wangan high speed runs, professional Drifting, Circuit, and Drag Racing.


text:
Context:
Cat/housesat for a coworker, wrote this when they returned from their vacation to let them know all that’s happened. Posted it on facebook as my status and got positive feedback, so I’m sharing it here too.
My name is Boris Kuslitskiy. Please don’t steal this.

Thursday.
You leave, the cats are plunged into the unexpected onset of Feast 2012, gorging on dry cat food.

Friday.
Ryan leaves us, the going away party includes alcohol, as does the bar I attend after. Arriving home at 5AM, I decided not to grace the cats with my presence again just yet.

Saturday Evening.
I arrive to feed and water the cats. Simon is friendly, Lionel chooses to ignore my presence.

Sunday.
The cats starve and dry out, reduced to only helping themselves to endless amounts of dry cat food. They operate with a different definition of starve than we do.

Monday Evening.
I stop by on my way from the movies with a friend, Sasha. Simon is distant, and fat, while Lionel is nearby, and fatter. Sasha confirms my analysis.

Tuesday Night.
I arrive late, commence furtending, continue furtending, and, finally, complete furtending. Having nowhere else to hang my work clothes for the next day, I prop open the bedroom door and hang them off the top. This lets Simon sit on the living room table and stare into the bedroom, into my eyes, and into my soul, were I to have one. He does this without fail, slowly falling asleep and staring at me through drooping eyelids as the minutes pass. I have broken his sense of order and he is no longer nice to me. Without shifting his gaze, Simon invents a time machine, locking me in his unrelenting stare for approximately 2.6 eternities. This is unsettling, but eventually the time machine falters and I sleep.

Wednesday Morning.
The first thing I see upon leaving the bedroom is Lionel rolling over to expose his belly. This is irresistible and just about cancels out having a shorter commute to work. Soon after, I scratch the underside of his cheek, and Lionel pushes his not unremarkably soft and fat face into my hand until it’s pressed down firmly against the ground. Noting the unforgiveable interruption in scratches, he graciously lifts his head, allows my hand to rise up to meet his cheek, and proceeds to push it down to the ground again. This repeats.

Wednesday Evening.
I arrive, Sasha joining me soon after I finish the furtendings. Beer, wine, and scratches flow furily. Sasha titles Simon Flat-Face. In response, his face is emotionless, flat, and furry. Lionel adopts the name Fat-Face, and my hand. I will file to reclaim custody shortly. Sasha sleeps over, being offered the bedroom while I claim the couch as my own.

Night between Wednesday and Thursday.
Sasha wakes up to see Simon inches away from her face, staring at her. I have the vaguest inkling of a feeling that Simon does not particularly like it when anybody else sleeps in that bed.

Thursday Morning.
Lionel is adorable. Simon is a cat.

Thursday Evening.
A different friend comes over. Lionel remains fat while Simon remains a cat. Together, they mostly are fat, and hide, their hides being fat, and hidden.

Friday Morning.
Reclined on the couch with my hand scratching the nearby Lionel, I conceive of an experiment, utterly moronic in hindsight. What if, just once, I choose to not spend every free moment scratching Lionel? Still purring like a tractor with a megaphone, Lionel jumps up onto the couch, wanders across my body and then, first gently, then heavily, struts his way across my neck, leaning his side against my face and forcing his furriness into every crevice, his fat molding itself to my face, leaving no respite and much hair.

Sunday Evening.
I stop by to pick up my things and scratch Lionel. He seems to have acquired a better invisible megaphone, as he purrs even more loudly.

Monday.
I miss them.

Tuesday.
I miss them.

Wednesday.
I fondly recall the fat smothering my face as Lionel saunters across my neck. I can almost taste the fur now.

title: Was asked to catsit for a coworker, so I wrote up all that happened for her return.

question: Who would find this story useful?

answer: Anyone looking for a cat-sitter would find this story useful.

question: Summarize the paragraph that is titled Wednesday Morning.

answer: In this daily check in by the cat sitter, Lionel has his belly exposed. Lionel has grown attached to the cat-sitter and places his cheek into the cat-sitter's palms.

question: How does the cat-sitter feel when their job as being a cat-sitter is over?

answer: The cat-sitter feels sad and misses both the cats, Lionel and Simon.

question: Why does the cat-sitter describe Simon as just a cat?

answer: The cat-sitter describes Simon as just a cat because Simon is fat and lazy, and does not want too much interaction.


text:
THE BOOK OF DAVE

     In the beginning, Dave created a bunch of stuff like the earth, water, animals, and humans. He thought "Meh, it's cool I guess...", and then he pretty much sat back and watched everything unfold, chillin' like a villain and taking many forms. Mostly though he liked to be a plastic dove. He saw all his creations screw up the world he created, and it pissed him off pretty badly. He thought for centuries about how he could save the world he put so little effort into creating.

     One day, in the late 1990's he came up with a plan. It was about time too, because the world he created was in pretty pitiful condition by this time. He set out to create 5 strong men who would spread his holy name. One of them appearing to be a heretic, but obviously a believer. One of them a natural born leader to guide the prophets. One of them tall and strong willed and convert others. One of them with great musical talents with which to sing and play instruments in the name of Dave, and the last one. Dave's only son. He arranged so that these men would one day come together and use their own talents to spread the word of Dave.

     These young men grew and realized their talents (except for the son of Dave, who had a hard time because he had not yet recognized his true purpose in life). They misused their talents, however, because they did not know that their destiny was the destiny that Dave set for them. They would know in the future that Dave needed them to rid the world of ignorance and stupidity. It would take time, though, for them to be ready for the task at hand.

     By the time these 5 young men were ready for their destiny, the world was even worse than it was before. There had been terrorist attacks, wars, destruction in massive proportions. They were indeed ready at the last minute. The 5 boys had grown to be good friends, and were like family. One day, fate brought them all together, and set them on a journey that would open their eyes to the truth. Open their eyes to Dave.

    They found themselves in their leader's house, discussing the most important of current events, politics, economics, history, and other things of the like. Then, as fate may have it, they embarked on a journey. They started with a trip to a local general store to purchase liquid refreshment, and to win the heart of a fair maiden. They failed miserably at the winning the heart part, but succeeded in buying refreshments. They also caused the son of Dave to smudge a dipping sauce on his trousers. They then headed to a larger store to buy him a new pair of trousers.

     They failed in their quest to acquire new trousers, but had good hearty laughs and made the son wear clothes meant for girls. However, it was here that they discovered The Great Dave. They found him in his usual form, a plastic bird, perched upon a raised surface. They were drawn to him, and immediately knew that it was to be theirs. They did not know why, but they knew it must be.

     They purchased the plastic bird, took him home, and immediately idolized him. They knew that his name was to be Dave, and that he was of great importance. The boys did not truly understand that Dave was of much more importance until much later. The day after their trip to the store, their land was ice-ridden. The plants outside were enveloped in a solid sheet of ice, and the roads were only traversible by foot, because none of their automobiles were equipped to operate on the ice-covered roads.

     The young men grew hungry, and weary of being held inside their home, and by the will of Dave, which they still failed to recognize, decided to embark on a long journey to obtain cheap, delicious food. They left their home and started down the road, talking and laughing, unaware of the great events that awaited them. They would soon find out the true purpose of what was happening.

     They noticed a bird that looked exactly like their plastic bird that was perched upon a telephone wire. Then they realized that this, in fact, WAS their bird, but in the form of a living version of it's plastic form, guarding them, and guiding them. They then began to realize that they had a greater purpose in this journey, and that Dave was more than a mere plastic bird.

     They began to have revelations and realizations that Dave placed in their minds. They came to the conclusion that Dave was the true God, and that they were prophets, since they were the only ones who realized this truth. They then realized that the one with no apparent useful talent must have been the son of Dave, because of the hardships he faced and trials and tribulations. They realized that since he had no talent to offer Dave, he didn't require one, because him simply being among the other prophets was enough to please Dave.

     Then came their true sign that they were led by The Great and Powerful Dave. They noticed on the side of the path a beautiful sight. A useless, disappointing, fresh, beautiful sight. They knew in their hearts that Dave put this there for them, that he loved them, and that he wanted them to cleanse the world of the wrongness that had befallen it.

title: The Book of Dave

question: Who is Dave?

answer: Dave is a supreme being who incarnates as a plastic bird.

question: Who are the young men?

answer: They believe they are prophets sent to spread the word of Dave.

question: How do the young men understand their destiny to serve Dave?

answer: They discover it through an adventure which begins at the liquor store.

question: Why did Dave send these five prophets to the world?

answer: He sent them because the world was getting screwed up.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: In the beginning Dave created the universe. Then in the 1990s he became upset with how the world was going so he sent five prophets to save the world. These young men realize their purpose one day on a trip to a liquor store, and they begin to venerate a plastic bird as Dave. When they see a real bird that resembles Dave, they realize their destiny and that they are prophets.


text:
DAVE CUMMINGS is an American entrepreneur and CEO of the high-frequency trading firm Tradebot, founded in 1999.[1] He also is the founder of the BATS Global Markets stock exchange.[2] He graduated from Purdue University and previously worked for Cerner before founding his own companies.[3]

[1]

[2]

[3]

title: Dave Cummings (entrepreneur)

question: How old is Dave Cummings?

answer: Not answered.

question: What companies has Cummings started?

answer: He has founded Tradebot, a high-frequency trading firm, as well as the BATS Global Markets stock exchange.

question: Where did Cummings go to college?

answer: He graduated from Purdue University.

question: Where does Cummings currently work?

answer: He is the CEO of Tradebot.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: Dave Cummings is an American entrepreneur and CEO of Tradebot, a high-frequency trading firm.


text:
I am half-awake with my back to you on your bed while you sit at your instrument and tuck into your black and white keys deft and handsome; your hands curl and splay and the sound is switched off so all I hear is that fine collapse of plastic, chord roll and fingers tumbling across octaves. You end with an unknown cadence then stop.

“Are you actually asleep?”

You want me to be facing you, to watch you be deft and handsome for my benefit. I mutter and pull your white sheets up to my ears.
You want to impress me. I am already there, but you don’t know this, couldn’t know this; I can say nothing to you.

The second time we met you held up my chin and whispered *you’re really quiet, aren’t you?*

You are not the first to say this and you will not be the last. I am new to you but not for long. I wish you didn’t long to be poignant because really I know this is all false. Really I imagined a boy fondling my hair, always pictured him maybe like you, pictured him thumbing my cheek bone smiling slyly; you tell me my eyes are huge and I think yes, I know. I think, where were you when I was unaware of these things. You seem confounded every time you stroke my leg and it is smooth. I am a mystery to you somehow, in my wordlessness and alien lack of stubble. I feel like I am tricking you but I think maybe you want to be tricked.

I lay in your bed like an invalid and I can feel on my back your amusement, feel your brow crumple up, feel your hands graze the keys thoughtfully. Feel your mind maybe somewhere else. Briefly, sometimes, I feel your attention like something charging at me and it is all I can do to disappear before impact. Mostly, though, you say you don’t know any poetry but you write it maybe without considering it like this; when you sing it is poetic. You are a poetic liar. Your truths are less truthful. Your truths are stale before they leave your mouth when you are staring at me with frightening concentration and you say things like *wow, there are probably 9 different colours in your hair right now* because the sun is illuminating the white-blond wisps at my temples and here right now at the beach I feel beautiful in spite of you. I don’t know why you say these things, maybe because you think this way, because you feel them keenly. Maybe they are for my benefit because how could you know I am not this girl with huge eyes, with nine different colours in my hair. How could you know these things when I can say nothing to you. When I can say nothing to you and you feel me deeply enough to not think to ask.

Once at a concert a man brushed past me quickly, grazed my shoulder with the back of his wrist. I could not see his face when he whispered *you are beautiful*. He did not stop and I did not turn around.

Once at a party a boy wrote in blue pen on a napkin *you look like sun-drenched orchards, like cherry blossoms* and handed it to me, tall and sheepish.

You are the fourth one I’ve kissed, I want to tell you. You know you were my first but I have not told you you were my fourth. Are my fourth. That you are my hundredth, maybe my thousandth. That you are not alone in thinking my face profound.

So I know without you. When you sit perched like a bird at your computer and play halting seconds from your disarray of sound files and I kiss the back of your neck you do not turn around because you need these moments, need this falseness. I want to give it to you like an unwrapped gift. I want you to revel in your own unassuming insincerity because of the reasons I like you that you do not know about because I have not told you.

*You’re really quiet, aren’t you?*

It is one thing to be pretty and something else entirely to feel like it belongs to you.

title: I can say nothing to you

question: What does the story say about the narrator's sentiment?

answer: The narrator feels as if she's being lied to and suspects her partner is untruthful with his poetic words. She knows she's beautiful, however his quietness tells her otherwise. The moments they share seem false to the narrator and the gestures feel insincere.