text:
Holding onto a Heartbeat
Epigraph:
“If I told you that the crowd was all ears,
Could you find the words to say?
If I told you that you could take home the prize,
Would you know the game to play?
Would you laugh or would you fall to pieces?
Would you lie or would you run?”
-Mad at Gravity, Find the Words

The east window was still open. I sat on her bed and stared at the closet, the door propped open, folded back against the wall by a bronze cleat and ball, third place trophy to some tournament. Fifteen different jerseys and two different referee tops hung in rainbow order, though mostly the same racing green, ending with the single ref black and single ref yellow. I heard the click from the door to the bathroom that separated her and her younger sister’s room and waited for the door to open, wishing for a confrontation. Instead I heard another cracking click as the shower door slid shut followed by the sound of rushing water spraying and splatting against the glass and tub basin. The image of water over her skin was not what I wanted or needed, but my eyes struggled closed, flickering, as I took it in breathing. Pulsing and sometimes shaking hands ran over shoulders, neck, and through hair tingling my neck and chest while constantly struggling to find air in the lapsing ragged breathing. My heart rate accelerated well over one fifty. “We need to learn to be more than soccer,” she had said to me. I struggled to hold onto the words. Four pill bottles rested in her top left desk drawer.
***
My first soccer practice was at five. I was lying on the basement floor shag carpeting while watching television with two of my older brothers. I had just woken up from my post half-day pre-school nap. I’m not sure if I really understood after school cartoons at that point or not, but it didn’t really matter because if my brothers were doing it, I did it too or at least pretended to. I was lying on my back shirtless, thinly ribbed, heart beating over and over, blowing spit bubbles, and absentmindedly pulling at the thick gray carpet and swirling it with my hands while staring on at the tv when my mother knelt down next to me and asked a question I didn’t hear. I also liked to rub my feet, bare or otherwise, up and down, kicking my legs out and pulling them back for a slight fibrous foot rub. She asked me the question again and started tickling my feet.
My spit bubble burst, wetting my lips, and I screamed and kicked trying to roll away from her, but she held my leg with one hand while continuing to tickle with the other. My brothers yelled for her to stop because they couldn’t hear the tv over my piercing post toddler fully oxygenated sugary charged shrieking. She stopped and my breathing was all I could hear. I stared at her with eyes all moist, ready for another attack. I finally heard the question when her lips parted again, lined and slightly cracked and dry, turning wet.
“Honey, how would you like to go to the park?”
“Yea, park. Are ****** and ****** coming too?” I asked turning to look back at my brothers lounging on the couch all lazy eyed.
“Hell no pips, ” my twelve year old brother said.
“Actually, you are going to the park with a lot of other boys your age,” mother said almost at once but did not attempt to make a stand against the partial cursing and back talk from my older brother.
“Like ****** and ******?” I asked.
“Maybe, we’ll just have to go and see, now won’t we,” she said winking. “But first I need you to try these…” I was already falling back to staring at the tv when I felt a hand on my leg as my foot was stuffed into a sock. I looked back to see the long blue socks my feet were being forcibly stuffed into and the black shoes with spikes on the bottom like the ones my brothers wore for soccer.
“Ah, good. They fit perfectly,” she said smiling while tying the laces. Some of her soft golden hair had fallen in front of her face as she leaned back to stand up.
“I’m playing soccer at the park?” I said questioning, both in excitement and fear.
“Yes, honey, I already told you that,” she said. I hadn’t remembered it being mentioned any earlier. “Now go up stairs and put a shirt on and wait at the front door for your father to take you,” she said extending her arms away from the tv, towards the stairs.
Forty-seven minutes later.
I leaned my entire body weight against the heavy sedan door for it to close with a thunk and almost slipped on the pavement in my unfamiliar cleats. My father waved to a group of parents and other boys at the end of parking lot. He also shielded his eyes over black sunglasses looking into the orange September sun. I focused on the bits of gravel pavement, uniformly and infinitely different in the mix. My cleats made a clack scraping sound with each step as I held onto my father’s massive hand following his lead.
Thirteen boys, all five-years-old or nearly so, stood, leaned, and swayed, clinging to their respective parent’s legs or presence while still constantly looking around with a sort of rising frustration at being corralled in the park. The parents carried on light conversation punctuated by Sunday grill laughs and smiles. Three of the fathers wore matching green polo athletic shirts. My father shook each of their hands in turn, smiling, his gray-green slacks folding as leaned forward. His brown leather loafers looked overwhelmed in the rising September grass.
My father turned back to me and with a hand on my back pulled me in front of the three men. The tallest of the three half crouched a bit and extended his huge hand, “Hi there, I’m Mr. E****** and will be your new soccer coach.” I took his hand looking up but only saw the orange sun peeking out from behind his neck.
After meeting the other two coaches, my father clapped me on the back as we retreated. “All right, good luck, love you, be back to pick you up,” he said. He kissed me on the head and walked away toward the parking lot.
I watched as his pace quickened, pumping his arms slightly. A few parents trailed my father but still others remained to watch the practice. It wasn’t that I didn’t want my father to go; I just wanted to know why he left. I hesitated only slightly in returning my focus to Coach E******.

title: Before I go... I wrote a few books this is the beginning of them. I almost graduated with an BFA as a 2nd degree before the high horsing begins.

question: What can we deduce to be the narrator's relationship with soccer?

answer:
The narrator was sitting on what can be assumed to be his girlfriend's bed while waiting for her to finish bathing. While she bathes, he gazed at her soccer jerseys and medals, all lined up in her closet. He remembered her saying that the narrator and herself need to be more than soccer.

The narrator thinks back to when he was a little more than a toddler. He remembers being introduced to soccer by his dad. He remembers wanting his dad to stay and watch him practice. Judging from the tone of the passage, it seems the narrator has an ambivalent relationship with soccer.


split: train

text:
“There are times, as an educator, when you can look into a student’s eyes and see their energy, their passion for learning, and you glow - knowing that you have helped foster their love of knowledge and understanding of the world around them. This was not one of those times,” Alex began softly, his eyes vacant as he tried to count the number of dots in the fiberboard ceiling tiles.

“In fact, as I lowered my gaze across the sprawling red-oak conference table I found my eyes resting upon a slack-jawed tenth grader who has developed a habit of making his instructors cry – precisely the last problem I needed to deal with this Friday,” he paused for effect, but Dean Fisher would deny him the satisfaction of acknowledgement while he scribbled in his notes.

“We sat in silence for what seemed like hours before I could reconcile what had to be done. Alex Decker would have to be put to death-“

“Thank you, Mr. Decker, but I have my own inner monologue to narrate, and it does not need any coercion into murdering a student of Williamson High School.”

The room was still. Dean Fisher was not a man who physically commanded respect, but he had a gift for declaring things with authority. The room remained still until Dean Fisher removed his reading glasses and put down his crossword puzzle.

Alex raised an eyebrow.

“Mr. Decker,” Dean Fisher let the name roll off his tongue as if he were trying it out for the first time, “Why are you making my employees cry?”

Alex resumed counting fiberboard dots.

“Mrs. Clemens won’t actually tell me what you said or did to her...”

Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one…

“…this makes it hard for me to administer discipline.”

Thirty-one…wait, shit.

“But of course you know that. But what you didn’t know is that Daphne Clemens took her own life thirty minutes ago at her home in Clarksville.”

Alex felt the words hit him at once, sending his stomach plummeting to the center of the universe.

“She…what?” His lips were numb as he formed the words.

“She offed herself! No note, no nothing. Nobody knows what to make of it.”

“I…I don’t even know what to-“

“Okay, I’m fucking with you, Alex.  But for the love of god you have to stop calling your instructors fat.”

The relief rolled over Alex’s body in waves and he sunk into the leather armchair feeling both emancipated and savagely exploited.

“I didn’t call her fat; I didn’t call her anything.”

“You replaced her birthday cake in the faculty lounge with a replica that read “Congratulations on your thirty-five year pregnancy.”

“I want my lawyer.”

“You’re fifteen.”

“Touche,” Alex shrugged and sunk back into the armchair.

Dean Fisher studied the boy carefully.

“Dean Fisher studied the boy carefully. He definitely had to be assassinated-“

“Get out of my office, Alex.”

Alex stood, gathering his books and slinging his book bag over one shoulder lazily. At the door he spun on his heels, nonchalantly tossing a polished, delicious red apple towards his administrator.

It nonchalantly collided with Dean Fisher’s left eye with a sickening thwap. The swelling began immediately.

title: Alex Decker to the Front Office [~500 words]

question: How does Dean Fisher lie?

answer: He tells Alex that Alex' teacher committed suicide.

question: Why did Mrs Clemens cry?

answer: Alex suggested that she's fat.

question: Why does Mr Decker have a bump?

answer: Alex tossed an apple at him.

question: Whose inner monologue is the reader seeing?

answer: Dean Fisher's.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: Alex is in the dean's office, getting in trouble because he replaced his teacher's birthday cake message with one that insinuates she is fat. Dean Fisher is annoyed Alex is interrupting his thoughts. At first he lies and says Mrs Clemens killed herself, then redacts that. Alex is let go, and in parting, the student tosses an apple at Dean Fisher, resulting in swelling.


text:
Back in February 2013, 12 years after coining the term BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India and China) as an acronym for the world's strongest source of emerging market growth, Goldman's Jim O'Neill retired, but not before some very (traditionally) optimistic words of parting, namely that there is "clear evidence things are doing better economically."

This is what Goldman said in his retirement announcement:

  Jim is an influential economist and thought leader, and is regarded as an expert in the world’s foreign exchange and bond markets. IMPORTANTLY, HE HAS IDENTIFIED _REVOLUTIONARY ECONOMIC TRENDS_, DEFINING THE CONCEPT OF THE BRICS WHICH HAS BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH THE EMERGENCE OF BRAZIL, RUSSIA, INDIA AND CHINA AS GROWTH OPPORTUNITIES OF THE FUTURE. Jim’s BRIC thesis has challenged conventional thinking about emerging markets and, as a result, has had a significant economic and social impact.

Nearly three years later, things are not only not doing better economically, with the entire world now engaged in outright, or quasi QE (with helicopter money to follow as Adair Turner infamous warned) just to support global asset prices, but the very emerging markets that made up the BRICs, have devolved to a state of economic freefall. And nowhere is this more obvious than in GOLDMAN'S DECISION TO PULL THE PLUG ON THE INFAMOUS FUND THAT BEARS THE NAME OF GOLDMAN'S MOST BULLISH ACRONYM IN HISTORY.

According to Bloomberg, Goldman's bank’s asset-management unit folded its money-losing BRIC fund, which invests in Brazil, Russia, India and China, and merged it last month with a broader emerging-market fund. Goldman Sachs pulled the plug on the nine-year-old product because it doesn’t expect “SIGNIFICANT ASSET GROWTH IN THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE,” according to a filing to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.

The BRIC fund lost 21% in the five years through Oct. 23, the last trading day before the merger. ITS ASSETS DECLINED TO $98 MILLION AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER AFTER PEAKING AT $842 MILLION IN 2010, ACCORDING TO DATA COMPILED BY BLOOMBERG.

[]

As Bloomberg reports, "the downfall of the BRIC fund, which had lost 88 percent of its assets since a 2010 peak, also underscores how the strategy of bundling disparate countries into a single investment theme is losing its appeal among investors."

Perhaps it has sentimental value, but instead of liquidating the BRIC fund outright, Goldman will instead let it be merged into its larger EM Equity Fund:

  The BRIC fund is being swallowed up by the Emerging Markets Equity Fund as part of Goldman Sachs’s efforts to “optimize” its assets and “eliminate overlapping products,” the New York-based bank said in the Sept. 17 filing.

  Instead of liquidating the fund, Goldman Sachs opted for the merger because it will give investors access to “a more diversified universe” of developing nations. The bank pointed out that the emerging-market fund has outperformed in the one-, three- and five-year periods.

As it turns out, the BRICs was nothing more than investing in flow momentum, because while it worked for many years...

  In the decade following the creation of the BRIC moniker, the group surged as a global economic power, amassing 40 percent of the world’s foreign reserves. MSCI Inc.’s BRIC Index returned 308 percent in the 10 years through 2010, compared with a 15 percent gain in the Standard & Poor’s 500 index.

  While the four countries still account for more than one fifth of the global economy, their growth prospects have dimmed. In a December 2011 report, Dominic Wilson, then chief markets economist at Goldman Sachs, said the economic potential for BRICs probably peaked because of a smaller supply of new workers.

  The predicament has become even more striking this year. Brazil is reeling from a corruption scandal and the worst recession ina quarter century, while Russian companies are locked out of global capital markets because of international sanctions. In China, the government was caught off guard by a stock crash this year that wiped out $5 trillion in market value. Even in India, where growth accelerated, Prime Minister Narendra Modi is struggling to push through reforms.

... All it took was the end of the Petrodollar and China's hard(ish) landing to kill all the wind in the sails of the BRICs - something nobody noticed (as we duly noted) a year ago, and which ultimately manifested itself in the EM debt crisis of the late summer, precipitated by the soaring dollar and leading to China's devaluation and record capital outflows.

And now that it's all over, the Mondey morning quarterbacking begins: "The BRIC acronym didn’t make any sense in the first place because you just randomly group four countries which are completely different,” said Xavier Hovasse, who oversees $2.3 billion emerging market assets at Carmignac Gestion. “If you restrict your investment universe too much, it’s more difficult to perform. I am not surprised that those funds are collapsing."

And to think it was only 2 years ago when not a cloud was in sight.

Andrew Williams, a spokesman for Goldman Sachs, declined to comment on the fund’s closure. O’Neill, who stepped down as the chairman of Goldman Sachs Asset Management in 2013 and became commercial secretary to the U.K. Treasury in May, also declined to comment, Bloomberg notes.

question: What is the source of the article?

answer: Can't tell from text.

question: Who is Jim O'Neill?

answer: An economist and thought leader who worked for Goldman-Sachs.

question: What countries are represented in the acronym BRIC?

answer: Brazil, Russia, India, and China.

question: What group does Xavier Hovasse work for?

answer: At the time of this article, Carmignac Gestion.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: This article explains the origins, impact, and downfall of Goldman Sachs' BRIC fund.


text:
Welcome to part two of the offseason Bizarro-meter rankings, in which we look at all the decisions made by every team in the NHL and try to figure out which team has had the weirdest summer. Yesterday, we went through the Western Conference, where the Anaheim Ducks rode one of the worst contracts in recent league history to land an impressive score of 9.2 and clubhouse-leader status.

Can somebody from the East beat that score? Let’s find out …

METROPOLITAN DIVISION

Washington Capitals

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They said goodbye to UFAs Mike Green, Joel Ward and (presumably) Eric Fehr. They used some of that cap space to sign Justin Williams away from the Kings, and also landed T.J. Oshie in a trade with the Blues. Pretty solid moves all around, really, and nothing that didn’t make sense.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Letting goaltender Braden Holtby remain unsigned. After yet another strong season, Holtby seems poised to move into the top tier of NHL goaltenders. But he still doesn’t have a new contract, and barring a last-minute settlement he’ll go to arbitration today with the two sides far apart. Those last-minute settlements almost always come, and there’s a good chance one will have already been announced by the time you read this. Actual arbitration hearings in the NHL are rare but notoriously brutal, and they can be particularly rough on goaltenders. The Caps wouldn’t really put their young superstar through that … would they?

BIZARRO-METER READING: 3.3/10. That’s assuming they avoid arbitration with Holtby. Bump it up to 7.5/10 if they don’t.

New York Islanders

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: In terms of signings and trades, they haven’t done much. Adding backup goalie Thomas Greiss was pretty much it.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: GM Garth Snow went into the draft without a first-round pick, and left with two thanks to some aggressive wheeling and dealing. That included trading former fourth overall pick Griffin Reinhart to the Oilers for a mid-round first and early second, a deal that most seem to think the Islanders won handily.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 3.5/10. “Garth Snow, downright solid NHL general manager” is a thing I will never get used to.

Carolina Hurricanes

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: Their big move was trading for Eddie Lack, who’ll come in as Cam Ward’s backup but be starting full-time by November. That allowed them to flip Anton Khudobin for James Wisniewski, upgrading a blue line that will also welcome no. 5 overall draft pick Noah Hanifin. All in all, a fairly solid summer.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Their owner launched into a weird tirade against former GM Jim Rutherford, the Penguins, and Phil Kessel, which wasn’t actually a “move” per se but was still really strange.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 4.2/10. I admit, I did not have “Carolina and Pittsburgh” in my “Who will emerge as the Tupac and Biggie of the hockey world?” office pool.

Columbus Blue Jackets

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They pulled off a shocker by landing Brandon Saad in a trade with the Blackhawks. It didn’t come cheap, costing them a package that included (but was not limited to) useful forward Artem Anisimov and prospect Marko Dano and then a six-year, $36 million extension for the young winger. Still, Saad has a chance to develop into a first-line power forward, and guys like that aren’t available very often.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Not doing all that much else. For a team that was never really in the playoff race last season, is adding one player enough?

BIZARRO-METER READING: 4.7/10. Saad makes them better, both now and in the future. He won’t be enough to make them a playoff team on his own, so they’ll hope for continued development from other young players and some better luck than last season’s train wreck.

New York Rangers

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They’ve been busy, trading Cam Talbot for picks, replacing him with Antti Raanta, and dealing Carl Hagelin for the not-as-good-but-cheaper Emerson Etem. They also said goodbye to Martin St. Louis, who announced his retirement.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Replacing Glen Sather as GM with Jeff Gorton. The move was expected — Sather is 71, and the team’s refusal to let other teams interview Gorton for openings was a giveaway that he’d be taking over in New York sooner rather than later. But it’s still going to be strange to see someone other than the cigar-chomping Sather running the show for the Rangers.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 5.3/10. Oh, and speaking of longtime GMs stepping aside …

New Jersey Devils

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They drafted Pavel Zacha, traded for Kyle Palmieri, and signed John Moore. They also got younger, mostly by herding half of last season’s roster onto an ice floe and watching it slowly drift off to sea.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Lou Lamoriello stepping down as GM, and later resigning as team president; he was replaced by Ray Shero, who then hired John Hynes as the league’s youngest head coach and parted ways with longtime scout David Conte. We’ve grown accustomed to seeing the Devils change coaches every few months, but having someone other than Lamoriello running the show will take some getting used to.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 6.1/10. There are hockey fans in their early 30s who have no memory of anyone other than Lamoriello running the Devils (making those people just eight years too young to play on last season’s roster).

Pittsburgh Penguins

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: After making a splash in free agency last summer, they were relatively quiet on the market this year. They said goodbye to a big chunk of their depth, and didn’t add much with the exception of undrafted Russian prospect Sergei Plotnikov, who could challenge for a top-six spot.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Landing Phil Kessel in the offseason’s biggest trade. On the surface, the deal is a good one for Pittsburgh — the Penguins didn’t give up all that much, and Kessel should score 40 goals playing with Evgeni Malkin or Sidney Crosby. But for a team that was already among the most top-heavy in the league in terms of cap distribution, adding Kessel only makes the situation more extreme. They can always add depth at the deadline, but an injury to the wrong guy could torpedo their season.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 6.2/10. The Pens are clearly in win-now mode, which makes sense — with Crosby and Malkin still in their prime, now is not the time for a slow rebuild. They’re going to be a scary team to play next season, and lots of fun to watch. We’ll see if that translates to more wins.

Philadelphia Flyers

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: The Flyers have been yet another Metro team that’s been largely quiet, at least on the player front. They gave Michael Del Zotto an extension and brought in Jason LaBarbera and Michal Neuvirth to compete for the backup job behind Steve Mason. They also traded Nicklas Grossmann for Sam Gagner in that weird Chris Pronger trade we mentioned yesterday, made noise about buying Gagner out, and then kept him.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: They hired Dave Hakstol from the college ranks as their new head coach. Hakstol isn’t especially well-known in NHL circles, but he’s young and well-respected. The track record of college coaches in the big leagues isn’t great, though.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 6.8/10. But seriously, they traded Chris Pronger two days before he was selected for the Hall of Fame. What a world.

ATLANTIC DIVISION

Tampa Bay Lightning

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They added Erik Condra. That’s about it. When you’re the consensus best team in the conference, you don’t need to do all that much.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Not re-signing Steven Stamkos … yet. We all know it’s coming. Stamkos doesn’t hit unrestricted free agency until 2016, so there’s no real urgency here, and recent history tells us that star players always sign before they hit the open market. So don’t panic, Lightning fans. (Unless this drags on for a few more weeks, in which case maybe panic just a little.)

BIZARRO-METER READING: 1.2/10. (Slams laptop shut.) What? No, _you_ were looking at Photoshops of Stamkos in a Leafs uniform!

Florida Panthers

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They … uh … hosted the draft? Beyond that, not all that much.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: They made one significant trade, swapping Jimmy Hayes for Reilly Smith in a deal that also saw them take on Marc Savard’s contract. Even that wasn’t all that weird, because we’d already done the whole “Former star who doesn’t play anymore gets traded” thing.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 3.2/10. Hey, when things are going well, don’t mess with success, right? (Checks standings.) Uh … Panthers?

Detroit Red Wings

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They watched Mike Babcock walk to a division rival, which wasn’t great, but they had a good young replacement ready to go in Jeff Blashill. On the player side, they signed Brad Richards to a deal that was reasonable, and Mike Green to one that probably wasn’t, but in both cases kept the years down to minimize risk.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Buying out Stephen Weiss. Not because it was surprising — he’d been awful — but because it was a reminder that they’d signed him in the first place. We’re used to seeing other teams make boneheaded moves in free agency, but the Wings are supposed to be one of the smart ones.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 3.9/10. Oh look, the Wings will probably be good again, who could have seen that coming?

Ottawa Senators

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: The Senators have been mostly quiet, focusing most of their offseason energy on resigning key young players like Mark Stone and Mika Zibanejad. They also landed undrafted college goalie Matt O’Connor, but lost Condra to free agency.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Re-signing Andrew Hammond. Hammond was a nice story last season, but giving him a three-year extension meant the team would have to trade one of Robin Lehner or Craig Anderson. They chose Lehner, and got a pretty nice return from the Sabres. But with Anderson having just turned 34, Hammond’s long-term prospects a question mark and O’Connor a few years away, a team that seemed stacked with goaltending could find itself without a sure-thing starter soon.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 4.0/10. Hammond aside, the Senators continue to make mostly smart moves.

Montreal Canadiens

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They didn’t do much in free agency beyond re-signing some of their own guys, most importantly defenseman Jeff Petry, who got a six-year deal. They made one trade, swapping Brandon Prust for the younger Zack Kassian.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Not really doing much to improve the roster, especially on the offensive side. The Habs are already a good team, as the past two years have shown, so there’s no need for an overhaul. But with Carey Price in his prime, you’d think there might be more pressure to keep up with the young Lightning at the top of the Eastern standings. There’s still time, but so far it’s been eerily quiet.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 4.1/10. What’s French for “meh”? (Clicks over to Google Translate.) Probably should have seen that coming.

[meh-nhl]

Buffalo Sabres

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: The biggest moment of the Sabres’ offseason came on April 18, when they lost the draft lottery and, with it, their season-long dream of drafting Connor McDavid. That was a rough start, and things got rougher when they thought they’d landed Babcock, only to have him choose the Leafs at the last moment.

The good news is that both of those disappointments came with excellent consolation prizes, in the form of Jack Eichel and Dan Bylsma. And GM Tim Murray kept on adding talent, trading for Robin Lehner and Ryan O’Reilly. Combined with the return of the injured Evander Kane, those moves figure to make the Sabres a much better team in 2015-16. Granted, it would hard to be any worse than last season’s Sabres, but we’re staying positive here.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Signing O’Reilly to a seven-year, $52.5 million extension. That’s a ton of money for a guy who’s cracked 60 points only once in his career, but it’s possible that it could work out well for Buffalo. O’Reilly is a strong two-way player and he’s only 24, so the Sabres are buying at least a few of his prime years. He’ll be the team’s no. 1 center until Eichel is ready for the role, at which point he’ll drop down to become one of the league’s best no. 2s.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 4.5/10. It’s been a busy spring and summer, and a fascinating few months to watch. But bizarre? Not especially. Murray has a plan, and he’s following it. Now we find out whether they can flip the switch and start winning.

Boston Bruins

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: Everyone take a deep breath …

First, they fired Peter Chiarelli and replaced him with Don Sweeney. Then they spent a lot of time thinking about firing coach Claude Julien, but didn’t. Then Sweeney traded Dougie Hamilton to the Flames, in a deal everyone agreed was terrible. Then he traded Milan Lucic to the Kings, in a deal that everyone agreed was pretty good. Except that they got a goalie they didn’t really need, which was bad, but then flipped him to the Sharks for a first-round pick, which was good.

(Another deep breath … )

Then Sweeney used his three consecutive first-round picks on players whose consensus rankings were all lower then where the Bruins took them, which may have been bad but we won’t know for a few years. Then he went two days without doing anything, and everyone sort of calmed down and figured maybe they were overreacting to everything. Then he traded for Zac Rinaldo, and everyone’s heads exploded. Then he found a taker for Marc Savard’s contract, and everyone put their heads back together with duct tape and agreed that was pretty smart. Then he signed free agent Matt Beleskey to a five-year contract that was both smart and dumb at the same time, which shouldn’t even be possible but somehow was, because the Bruins had transported us all to a land where basic human logic no longer has any meaning.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: All of it. Please, don’t make me choose just one. It would be like asking me to pick one of my kids as my favorite, if my kids were a series of hockey transactions that alternated between smart and dumb. Remember in the 1980s when Bret Saberhagen was good in odd-numbered years and bad in even-numbered ones? That’s Sweeney, except he switches every day. I don’t understand any of it. I have no idea if Sweeney has an end game, or a vague plan, or even has any idea at all what he’s doing. But I don’t want him to stop. I spend every waking moment refreshing the Google search results for “Don Sweeney transaction,” and I don’t plan to stop until opening night.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 9.5/10. The Bizarro-meter has spoken. The Boston Bruins are this year’s winner, and it’s not even especially clo- … wait, I’m being handed an update from the breaking news desk ..

Toronto Maple Leafs

THEIR OFFSEASON SO FAR: They made leaguewide headlines, first by landing Babcock after all the insiders said they were out of the running, and then by trading Kessel. They also had a busy draft weekend, stockpiling picks and focusing on skill and speed at the expense of size, and spent most of free agency adding solid depth guys on smart, low-risk deals. And they did it all without a general manager! Hey, weird, the Bizarro-meter just started shooting sparks everywhere.

BUT THEIR STRANGEST MOVE WAS: Hiring Lou Lamoriello as GM, which they just did this morning.

Uh … what?

Let’s get this straight. The team that had been steadily reinventing its front office, getting in on the cutting edge of new hockey thinking by hiring people like Mark Hunter and Kyle Dubas and (reportedly) targeting other teams’ young front-office stars for their vacant GM role, suddenly swerves everyone by hiring the oldest of the old school. And Brendan Shanahan, after assembling a new-age collective of bright young minds who seemed to be making decisions by committee, scraps that whole plan by bringing in a guy who doesn’t exactly have a reputation for playing nice with others and handing him the keys to the whole operation. It doesn’t make any sense at all.

Unless … maybe Lou isn’t really coming in as a traditional GM, the title on his business cards be damned. Remember, he’s 72, and cited that as a reason for stepping down in New Jersey. Is he really going to go back to the grindstone as a day-in, day-out GM?

I’m betting no. I think the Leafs just hired themselves a consultant, one with plenty of experience and a long list of NHL contacts and quasi-friendships that will prove crucial in the rebuilding of the roster to come. And they kill two birds with one stone, by getting everyone to stop nagging them about not having a formal GM.

I think this is still Shanahan’s show. I think either Dubas or Hunter is still the GM in waiting. And I think Lamoriello comes in as the veteran figurehead, taking some of the heat off the younger guys while mentoring them for however long it takes until Shanahan is confident enough to put them in charge permanently.

That would make at least a little bit of sense. It’s the only way any of this does. It’s still bizarre, almost incomprehensibly so, but it would it be just enough to keep the planets aligned.

But still. Lou Lamoriello works for the Toronto Maple Leafs. That doesn’t look right. It never will.

BIZARRO-METER READING: 9.8/10. The Maple Leafs have pulled a stunning upset to steal a sure-thing victory from the Bruins at the last possible moment. (Which, by my count, makes them even.)

question: Who rode one of the worst contracts in recent league history?

answer: The Anaheim Ducks.

question: Who did the Washington Capitals say goodbye to?

answer: Mike Green, Joel Ward and Eric Fehr.

question: Who did the Carolina Hurricanes trade for?

answer: Eddie Lack

question: Whom did the Boston Bruins fire?

answer: Peter Chiarelli.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: The author narrates the offseason trades of the various teams in the National Hockey League. After listing each team and their trades, the author tells what their strangest move was, and gives them a rating in their personal "bizarro-meter".


text:
I felt the grass lick my toes like eager puppies wanting attention, each blade moist with dew, sleepy seeds in the eye of the night. The green carpet laid before me was sparkling in the early morning sun as I strolled across my lawn to my car, the   vehicle destined to take me to a place and a time that I had long awaited, yet was somehow convinced would never arrive. The blue shimmer of my 2009 Hyundai Accent looked grey and dull this morning as I turned the key in the door to unlock my portal. I got in and turned the key in the ignition. Styrofoam Plates by Death Cab For Cutie permeated the car with its melodic despair and I could almost form a grin at the cliché scene I had arrived in. I turned the volume up to 21 and started on my way, out the driveway and down the road to a new beginning.

There was a time when this would have come as a shock. It would have swallowed me and pushed me down into its poisonous, acidic stomach, already writhing with the pain from others misfortune. Once upon a time this would have been tragic, for lack of a better word. I would have been woeful for months, the salty sting of tears continuously racing down my cheeks, one drop trying to beat the others to my lips. At this time, at this particular time in my life, after one to many, “sorry’s” started to make the word meaningless, and the once strong knot began to fray from being gnawed at with sharpened, practiced teeth, I could find no tears. The loyal, wide eyed little girl of my youth had seen too much. You can only disappoint a child so much before they grow up into adults, calloused and weathered from a childhood gone wrong. Memories of maggots in the food pantry and dinners fashioned of stale crackers are no longer images of a forlorn victim trying to make the best of things, which is what you had us believe. At 23 I can now see the pathetic slop who cared more about how to find enough change to buy a six pack of Budweiser, than how we was going to buy his daughters dinner. Looking back, it’s easy to smell the stale stench of mariuana throughout the house wafting out the doors and into the street as a pathetic reminder of the family within. We would wait at school for hours when you’d forgotten us, lost pets with no collars, no real home address, finally calling Mom and feeling badly because we’d gotten you into trouble.

No one feels bad now. The song is over and I start it again. Ben Gibbard really hit home with this one.

“Thanks boys,” I say to myself.

The day had gotten suddenly hot during my brief drive. My hands were sweating and I could feel beads of moisture gathering on my upper lip. I wanted to turn around, but not for fear, rather for utter disgust. You don’t deserve for me to be there, for anyone to be there. You, the liar, the junky, the alcoholic, the homeless man in the street with no one to blame but himself. The older we got, the worse you got. People don’t pay their respects to crack heads; they don’t go out of their way to say goodbye to a cocaine dealer or someone neurotically addicted to heroin. I guess you’re one of the lucky ones, you, the bastard, the cheat, the poor excuse for a father. Should I turn around? I was stopped now, right blinker on, car motionless in limbo. I stare down the road, looking dazed and unsure, an Alzheimer’s patient, escaped from the home but at a loss of where to go.

“You need this,” I tell myself. With no clear intention of exactly why, I put the car into drive, turn on my left blinker, and pull back onto the road. The AC is blasting now and my hands are clammy, betraying my cool demeanor. I’ve been driving for about 20 minutes now. I pass the country diner on my left. Hanging in front is a large banner reading “One thing ends and another begins! Find us down the street!” I’d heard rumors that the old building was being taken back by the landlords. Supposedly some new, up and coming young buck had bought the place and was re-opening at a location down the road. New building, new owner, same old favorites.

I was getting close now. My heart was racing and my ands were shaking. My breath seemed to have become labor intensive. Did I take my Celexa today?

“You’re freaking out,” I tell myself, “get it together.” What would I do when I got there? Would I have to explain why only one of his two daughters showed up? Would they know? Does most of the family even have a fleeting idea about how bad it’d gotten? Did they know why he had stopped showing up to family functions? Crack, Heroine, Speed, these things had changed him from an irresponsible drunk to a pathetic junky with nothing to call his own but guilt and hatred, putting the blame to his misfortunes on the people he used to call family. Would I cry, or feel remorse> Had I successfully separated myself from any feelings of attachment towards this man who had become nothing more than a donor of seeds to help create me?

The cemetery was in sight now, less than a quarter mile away. I had turned the music off and the only noise was that of the wheels of my Hyundai on the pavement, and my slow, careful breathing trying to keep my anxiety in check. I take a right through the cemetery gates, making me think of that song by The Smiths of the same name. I hum its tune under my breath as I spot the cars, to which are my final destinatjion, in the far corner of the field of stones. “Another dreaded day so I meet you at the cemetery gates, Keats and Yeats are on your side.” I never liked Keats much anyway.

My car is parked next to my Grams, who I can see huddled near my aunts and uncles. She has her head in her hands, crying for a lost son who hadn’t really been alive for years. I wonder what she told them about his death.

“It was an accident.”

“It was his first time.”

“Someone must have slipped it in his drink.”

Overdoses are hard to make excuses for. Maybe she just came out with it.

“He was a drug addict, and this was a long time coming.”

I slowly stroll over to this grave, half moon of people, in no hurry to be a part of this huddle, loomed over by imagined grey, stormy clouds. I brace myself for the sympathetic comments and pitying eyes, hoping that their voices roll over me with no more clarity than the low incoherent mumble of adults from The Peanuts. Thankfully as I make my final steps to be with my family, the casket begins its decent and last words are spoken. This is the only part I came to see. I tune out the half hearted blessings for the after life of this long-passed man, once a father, a husband, a son, but ho had long ago given up to right to any title so deserving. As the Final tomb of the man I once knew lowers slowly into the forgiving earth, I can see the stress and confusion of a little girl I used to know going with it. The sordid reality of a boy trapped in the body of a man, with no regard to responsibilities or family is finally plunked into the ground where it belongs, buried and eventually forgotten.

We all take turns sprinkling dirt onto the simple, cheap coffin. I hug my gram and tell her I’ll meet her at her house where everyone is gathering and I realize she is not crying anymore. The faintest hint of relief has washed over her tired face. As I make the short walk back to my Hyundai, I embrace each step as the first steps to the beginning of my life.

title: A Happy Ending (working title) *any feed back is GREATLY appreciated*

question: Is the narrator on his/her way to work?

answer: No, she is on her way to a funeral.

question: Why does the narrator feel that this day would have never arrived?

answer: It may be implied that the narrator found it hard to make peace with the fact that her father had passed away.

question: Who has passed away?

answer: The narrator's father

question: Did the narrator have a drug addiction?

answer: No.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer:
The narrator steps into her car thinking how she had never thought this day would arrive.

On her way to the cemetery, she wonders if anybody knew about her father's drug overdose. On reaching there, she finds her grandma trying to convince herself that her son was tricked into drug use.

The coffin is lowered and the narrator walks back to her car trying to embrace life.


text:
The ORGAN CONCERTOS of Johann Sebastian Bach are solo works for organ, transcribed and reworked from instrumental concertos originally composed by Antonio Vivaldi and the musically talented Prince Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar. While there is no doubt about the authenticity of BWV 592–596, the sixth concerto BWV 597 is now probably considered to be spurious. Composed during Bach's second period at the court in Weimar (1708–1717), the concertos can be dated more precisely to 1713–1714.[1][2][3][4][5]

Bach also made several transcriptions of Vivaldi's concertos for single, two and four harpsichords from exactly the same period in Weimar. The original concertos were picked from Vivaldi's Op.3, _L'estro armonico_, composed in 1711, a set of twelve concertos for one, two and four violins. The publication of these Bach transcriptions by C.F. Peters in the 1850s and Breitkopf & Härtel in the 1890s played a decisive role in the Vivaldi revival of the twentieth century.

Weimar concerto transcriptions

In his Weimar period Bach transcribed concertos by, among others, Antonio Vivaldi and Prince Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar for organ and for harpsichord. Most of the harpsichord transcriptions probably originated between July 1713 and July 1714. The organ concertos, BWV 592–596, are scored for two manual keyboards and pedal, and probably originated from 1714 to 1717.

  BWV   Key       Model
  ----- --------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------
  592   G major   Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar:
  593   A minor   data-sort-value=“Vivaldi, Op. 3 No. 08” | Vivaldi, Op. 3 No. 8:
  594   C major   Vivaldi, RV 208: Violin Concerto _Grosso Mogul_ in D major
  595   C major   Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar: , first movement, and/or BWV 984/1
  596   D minor   Vivaldi, Op. 3 No. 11:

  : Weimar concerto transcriptions (organ)

Concerto in G major, BWV 592

This concerto is a transcription of Prince Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar's . Bach arranged the same concerto for harpsichord (BWV 592a).[6][7]

Movements:

1.  [without tempo indication – “Allegro assai” in the original]
2.  Grave (E minor)
3.  [without tempo indication – “Presto e staccato” in the original, “Presto” in Bach's harpsichord version]

Concerto in A minor, BWV 593

This concerto is a transcription of .[8]

Movements:

1.  [without tempo indication – “Allegro” in Vivaldi's original]
2.  Adagio (D minor; “Larghetto e spiritoso” in Vivaldi's original)
3.  Allegro (senza pedale a due claviere)

Concerto in C major, BWV 594

This concerto is a transcription of Antonio Vivaldi's _Grosso mogul_ violin concerto in D major, RV 208, of which a variant, RV 208a, was published as Op. 7 No. 11.[9]

Movements:

1.  [without tempo indication – “Allegro” in Vivaldi's original]
2.  Recitativ: Adagio (A minor; “Recitative: Grave” in Vivaldi's original)
3.  Allegro - Cadenza - Allegro

Concerto in C major, BWV 595

A transcription of the first movement of a lost concerto by Prince Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar, which has been reconstructed as a .[10][11]

Only one movement, without tempo indication, but also indicated as Allegro.

Exists in a variant for harpsichord, BWV 984 (first movement).

Concerto in D minor, BWV 596

[Autograph manuscript of first movement of BWV 596] [Autograph manuscript of third movement and beginning of fourth movement of BWV 596]

1.  [Allegro]
2.  Pieno. Grave – Fuge
3.  Largo e spiccato
4.  [Allegro]

This transcription of Vivaldi's Concerto in D minor for two violins and obbligato violoncello, Op.3, No.11 (RV 565), had the heading on the autograph manuscript altered by Bach's son Wilhelm Friedemann Bach who added “di W. F. Bach manu mei Patris descript” sixty or more years later. The result was that up until 1911 the transcription was misattributed to Wilhelm Friedemann. Despite the fact that Carl Friedrich Zelter, director of the Sing-Akademie zu Berlin where many Bach manuscripts were held, had suggested Johann Sebastian as the author, the transcription was first published as a work by Wilhelm Friedemann in 1844 in the edition prepared for C.F. Peters by Friedrich Griepenkerl. The precise dating and true authorship was later established from the manuscript: the handwriting and the watermarks in the manuscript paper conform to cantatas known to have been composed by Bach in Weimar in 1714–1715.

The autograph manuscript is remarkable for its detailed specifications of organ registration and use of the two manuals. As explained in , their main purpose was to enable the concerto to be heard at Bach's desired pitch. The markings are also significant for what they show about performance practise at that time: during the course of a single piece, hands could switch manuals and organ stops could be changed.[12]

FIRST MOVEMENT. From the outset in the original piece, Vivaldi creates an unusual texture: the two violins play as a duet and then are answered by a similar duet for obbligato cello and continuo bass. On the organ Bach creates his own musical texture by exchanging the solo parts between hands and having the responding duet on a second manual. For , Bach's redistribution of the constantly repeated quavers in the original is “no substitute for the lost rhetoric of the strings.”[13]

SECOND MOVEMENT. The dense chordal writing in the three introductory bars of the _Grave_ is unusual and departs from Vivaldi's specification of “Adagio e spiccato”. Bach adapted the fugue to the organ as follows: the pedal does not play the bass line of the original allegro but has an accompanying role, rather than being a separate voice in the fugue; the writing does not distinguish between soloists and ripieno; parts are frequently redistributed; and extra semiquaver figures are introduced, particularly over the prolonged pedal point concluding the piece. The resulting fugue is smoother than the original, which is distinguished by its clearly delineated sections. remarks that the way Vivaldi inverts the fugue subject must have appealed to Bach.[14]

THIRD MOVEMENT. The scoring for organ in the ritornello and solo episodes of this movement—a form of Siciliano—is unusual in Bach's writing for organ. The widely spaced chords that accompany the solo melody in the original are replaced by simple chords in the left hand. For Griepenkerl, the sweetness of the melody reflected the tender personality of Wilhelm Friedemann.[15]

FOURTH MOVEMENT. The last movement of Op.3, No.11 is composed in ritornello _A_–_B_–_A_ form. In the opening bars the first and second violins play in _tutti_ the opening theme with its repeated quavers and clashing dissonances. Bach used the same theme for the opening chorus of his cantata Ich hatte viel Bekümmernis, BWV 21, first performed on 17 June 1714, shortly before ill health forced Prince Johann Ernst to leave Weimar for treatment in Bad Schwalbach.

[]

Although each return of the theme with its chromatic falling bass accompaniment is instantly recognizable, Bach's allotting of parts between the two manuals (_Oberwerk_ and _Rückpositiv_) can occasionally obscure Vivaldi's sharp distinction between solo and ripieno players. Various elements of Vivaldi's string writing, that would normally be outside Bach's musical vocabulary for organ compositions, are included directly or with slight adaptations in Bach's arrangement. As well as the dissonant suspensions in the opening quaver figures, these include quaver figures in parallel thirds, descending chromatic fourths, and rippling semidemiquavers and semiquavers in the left hand as an equivalent for the tremolo string accompaniment. Towards the end of the piece, Bach fills out the accompaniment in the final virtuosic semiquaver solo episode by adding imitative quaver figures in the lower parts. compares the dramatic ending—with its chromatic fourths descending in the pedal part—to that of the keyboard Sinfonia in D minor, BWV 779.[16]

Concerto in E-flat major, BWV 597

Probably neither composed nor transcribed by Bach, and rather a trio sonata, by a composer of a later generation, than a concerto.[17]

Movements:

1.  [without tempo indication]
2.  Gigue

Table

  BWV   Key       Movements
  ----- --------- ---------------------------------------------------------
  592   G major   [Allegro] – Grave – [Presto]
  593   A minor   [Allegro (or) Tempo Giusto] – Adagio – Allegro
  594   C major   [Allegro] – Recitativ, Adagio – Allegro
  595   C major   [no tempo indication]
  596   D minor   [Allegro] - Grave - Fuga – Largo e spiccato – [Allegro]
  597             [no tempo indication] – Gigue

  : Organ concertos by Johann Sebastian Bach

Discography

BWV 592–597

-   Hans Fagius (2000). _Bach Edition_, Boxes 6 (CDs 41 and 45) and 22 (CDs 151–153 and 155). Recorded 1985–1986 and 1988–1989. Brilliant Classics 99365/3, /7; 99381/4, /5, /6, /8.

Orchestral organ concertos

-   André Isoir and conducted by Martin Gester (1993). _L'œuvre pour orgue et orchestre_. Includes BWV 29/1 and reconstructions BWV 1052a, 1053a and 1059a. Calliope CAL 9720.
-   Bart Jacobs and Les Muffatti (2019). _Concertos for Organ and Strings_. Includes Concerto in D major after BWV 169 and BWV 49, Concerto in D minor after BWV 146, BDW 188 and BWV 1052, Sinfonia in G major after BWV 156, Sinfonia in F major after BWV 75, Sinfonia in D major after BWV 29 and BWV 120a, Concerto in D moner after BWV 35 and BWV 1055, Concerto in G minor after BWV 1041 and BWV 1058. Ramée (Outhere Music) RAM 1804.

[1] Boyd 2006, pp. 80–83

[2] Breig 1997

[3] Jones 2007, pp. 140–153

[4] Williams 2003, pp. 201–224

[5] Schulenberg 2013, pp. 117–139 and footnotes pp. 461–3

[6] Work at Bach Digital website

[7] Work at Bach Digital website

[8] Work at Bach Digital website

[9] Work at Bach Digital website

[10] Work at Bach Digital website

[11] Freiburg Musica Poetica Ensemble; Hans Bergmann, conductor. _Cantata, Concerto & Sonata_. Hänssler Classic CD98.408, 2007

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17] Work at Bach Digital website

title: Organ concerto (Bach)

question: What kind of works are the organ concertos of Johann Sebastian Bach?

answer: They are solo works for organ.

question: Whose work did Back transcribed during the Weimar period?

answer: He transcribed concertos by Vivaldi and Ernst of Saxe-Weimar for organ and harpsichord.

question: What was strange about the heading on the autograph manuscript of Vivaldi's concerto in D minor?

answer: The heading was altered by Bach's son Wilhelm Friedmann Bach.

question: Is there anything remarkable about Concerto in E-flat major, BWV 597?

answer: It was most likely not composed nor transcribed by Bach.

question: Write a ~5 sentence summary.

answer:
The organ concerto of Bach are transcribed concertos originally composed by Vivaldi and Johann Ernst of Saxe-Weimar. Most of these concertos are transcribed for organ and harpsichord.

Concerto in E-flat major, BWV 597, on the other hand, was neither composed nor transcribed by Bach. Evidence shows that the transcription was most likely done by a composer of a later generation.

One of Vilvadi's concerto (D minor for two violins and obbligato violoncello TV 5650 had the heading altered by Bach's son, Wilhelm Bach.


text:
Saturdays with Sharal-Min Jones

Saturdays were always gloomy for Sharal-Min Jones. It was always sunny, not a single cloud in the sky, and the animals were hopping all around. It was also the day that everyone decided to tell him that he sucked. For example:

“Hey there John!”

“Sharal-Min? Gross, what are you doing outside? You really should go back in so we don't catch your ugly on such a beautiful day!”
And they were always completely serious. Not once did Sharal-Min see a smile or a snigger. Just completely straight and disgusted faces looking at him.

Nowadays he never went out. His skin had greyed over time (what a ghoul), and his teeth had yellowed because he never got toothpaste. Nor a new toothbrush. Usually he ate mice off the ground for food, and drank whatever dripped through the hole in his ceiling asbestos. Even I think he should be dead by now, and you should see my ugly face!

Today was the day that the mice stopped coming, the annoying neighbor's escaped chickadees built a nest over his water hole, and he started to die. “But I can't go outside,” he thought. Sure, nobody even knew who he was anymore (again: never went outside), but he had agoraphobia, and was therefore afraid of leaving home.

So finally he stepped outside. Then ran right back in. Then out. Then in. Out. In. Out. Out. Okay, he had done it! Sure, he had only confused himself, but he was managing, rig-

Sharal-Min half-fainted back into his house and clutched at his heart. Alright, there was only one solution to this: he needed to bring out the flour bag.

Flour bag? No, I'm not messing with you. This freak had an old flour bag in his strongbox. Just the idea that this guy had a strongbox should be creepy. He even named it, too: Marisson. When did he get it? I would say about ten years ago when he had visited that fortune teller. She had told him, “When you become mentally unable to leave your house, open this bag and say 'I wish 'dat I was coo' like 'dem udda kids.' It'll get rid of your fears like that!” With two snaps. Yeah, not one. Two. Pretty badass, huh?

So Sharal-Min Jones did as he was told. Instantly he felt better, but was kind of worried when he saw green smoke swirl up from the bag. It circled around the room, and only a few seconds later the bag coughed. Well, the opening did this sort of thing where it blew out really big then sucked back in, anyways. Sharal-Min doubted that the bag could be animate.

Then the freaking thing talked. “Thanks bro!” it said, and S-M. J. peed himself. He started back so badly that he knocked over some shelves, got hit with the various heavy bowling balls he kept on them, and died.

I know what you're thinking: “Great, so Sharal-Min Jones, the hero of the story, just peed himself and died by consecutive bowling balls to the head.” Yep, that's exactly right.

title: Saturdays

question: Why was Sharal-Min Jones always in hiding from the world?

answer: People are unfriendly to him.

question: How did Sharal-Min become mentally unstable?

answer: It is not known.

question: Why did people not like seeing Sharal-Min Jones in public?

answer: Because of his looks.

question: What was the cause of Sharal-Min's death?

answer: Bowling balls dropped on his head when, out of fear, he crashed into the shelves holding them.

question: Write a ~6 sentence summary.

answer: Sharal-Min suffers from agoraphobia. People are unfriendly to him because of his looks. He eats rats and drinks water from his leaking roof. He acquired a strongbox from a fortune teller a long time ago who told him he could use it when he was mentally unable to leave his house. When he uses it according to the directions given, he is shocked the bag comes to life and speaks, scaring him and causing him to pee on himself and crash into a shelf holding bowling balls. The bowling balls fall on his head and instantly kills him.


text:
*Part I: The Old Professor and His Wife*

He did not ask why she gardened in the dead of night, but stood arguing with fireflies through the erratically glowing   end of his cigarette. He told them of age and resignation, and they avowed ephemeral instinct. He recited the entirety of Kant in a single carcinogenic flicker, and Socrates fell as the afterthought of a tiny glowing coal lost in the overgrown grass. And then he spoke of spent youth and failing health, and method by which all manners of hope could be preserved in jars of alcohol awaiting careful dissection by unwitting students of the Incorrigible. “All of this,” they insisted, “is but memory or foreknowledge of a single July’s eve.”  They spoke to him of eternal recurrence. He told them she was insane.

“You can’t argue with insanity,” he sighed. A mantra, of sorts. He stared across the dark into the far corner of the yard, where a discordant fluorescent lantern overpowered the fireflies’ voiceless chatter. He did not ask what compelled her to furtively slip seeds beneath the ground whenever the sun turned its back, but absently watched her scrape the heavy worm-laden soil, a disembodied volition devoid of memory or foreknowledge.  Perhaps it was a deep-seated, inarticulate realization that the sun was hostile to her endeavors, and would not spare the requisite pinpoint of warmth. And so she had allied herself with the lesser kin of the sun in a manic, tubercular kind of secrecy marked by violent fits of consumptive confidentiality. He did not ask what strange seedlings might be coaxed from the worm-laden soil by the glow of fireflies.

His cigarette had gone out, and tonight the fireflies would have the last word. Her voice reached him as he turned towards the house: “*…my only sunshine…you make me happy, when the skies are grey… You'll never know, dear…*”

He locked the door.

title: “And There Were Rows of Ripe Tomatoes Where a Secret was Concealed”

question: Who is the man that is referred to?

answer: Probably the old professor referred to in the title of Part 1.

question: Who is the woman that is refferred to?

answer: Probably the old professor's wife that is referred in the title of Part 1.

question: What is the relationship between the man and the woman?

answer: They are husband and wife.

question: What education does the man have?

answer: It is unclear from the piece. The references to Kant and Socrates suggest philosophy.

question: Why would she garden in the dead of night?

answer: The old professor speculates that she does this because the sun is hostile to her endeavors and that she aligned herself for the moon for this reason.

question: Why does the man join her for such philosophical discussions?

answer: He smokes a cigarette. When the cigarette is done, he leaves the last word to the fireflies.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: The old professor's wife is gardening at night. He joins her outside while he smokes a cigarette. He speculates on why she prefers gardening at night and other philosophical matters. When his cigarette is finished, he goes inside and leaves the last word to the fireflies.


text:
He was just an ordinary kid at school. Kind of chubby, brown hair, average height, your average middleschooler. Every day, her would go about his schedule, go home, and wait for the next day. But one day, he noticed a very pretty girl. Long, Blonde, Flowing hair. Kind of tall, the kind of person who stands out in a crowd. Every day this boy would just stare at this girl in the hallway. He didn't even know her name. Imagine that. That boy wanted to meet this girl, and get to know her. He approached her the next day.
"Uh.. Hi."
"Hello.."
"I'm Sean.. are you new here?"
"Umm.. yeah. I still need to memorize this place, I still get lost."
"I could show you around, if you'd like."
"I'd like that. I'm Rachel, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, Rachel."
       Every day after that they would talk, study together, and sometimes just.. talk.
But one day, Rachel knocked on Sean's door.
"Hey Rachel."
She appeared to be crying, tears streaming down her face.
"Oh Sean.." She said, "Cody cheated on me... I saw him kissing a girl behind the gym!"
"That's... horrible. I'm so sorry..."
"Please... I need someone to talk to.."
"I'm always here."
"I'm glad you're my friend.... I wish more guys were like you.."

       Months past and Rachel was still dating guys, while Sean always comforted her through harsh times. No matter how many boyfriends she had... Sean always loved her.
One day, Sean couldn't hold it in anymore. He had to tell Rachel how he felt. He went to her house, and noticed something in her window. Rachel and her ex-boyfriend, the one who cheated on her, was sitting on her couch, kissing her. Sean was heartbroken. He couldn't tell her now! He ran back to his house, and just sat in his room in silence. He continued to admire her, without her knowing his feelings. Years past, and that love still went on strong. No matter what happened, he couldn't get her out of his head.

title: Unexpected Love

question: How can you describe the experience that Sean went through?

answer: Sean went through a heart break experience, and was never able to tell the girl he loved that he loved her.

question: Who is the girl that Sean loves?

answer: The girl Sean loves is named Rachel.

question: What did Sean see when he went to tell Rachel that he loved her?

answer: Sean saw Rachel and her ex-boyfriend kissing at her house when he had gone to tell her that he loved her.

question: Did Sean ever fall out of love with Rachel?

answer: Sean did not fall out of love with Rachel and could not her out of his head for years.

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: This story describes a love story. Sean is in love with a girl named Rachel, who ends up getting back with her ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her.


text:
A long time back, before i could call myself my own or even think of
proper replies to that sort of thing, I was doing a bit of business
in the out-land, moving powders for cash trade. Just the same old shuck and jive routine to avoid police involvement and incarceration; laid up in a
79th st flop in Chicago only really wondering where my next meal was
coming and when my next fix might arrive.
Never use your own supply, Kid, good way to die in the street from a shot of something other than what you really wanted, like lead based paint.
Anyway, there was this bum named Charley or Nelly or Jim, hell, i don't
really remember, but he was working at this counter-top in the 'kitchen' of the flop, old nineteen-fifties formica, with a razor.
Everything in the flop was scarred to shit, trashed and burned anyway, and I just assumed he was stuck in the rut of heroin compulsivity, itching or scraping or searching for a cigarette that you know doesn't exist and probably will never exist.

Well, Jim or Charley or Nelly, I don't really recall, said, "Hey, boy, lookee here, there's some dope."
I walk-crawled across the place moving through the trash rather than over it or under it, and he points with a huge hand, like a knob on a branch, old as a tree, covered in moss, and I'm inspecting the lines of his hand when he says, "Look in them cracks, there's dope."
I don't see it, but i don't see lots of things that other people hallucinate, so i say, "Jim there ain't no dope down there that's any good, its been there like that for years maybe those little pieces ain't going to do you no good. Shit would probably kill you anyway."
So, I'm convinced, and I go back to the corner with the half-a chair and I get down to business, get my box with my rig and tighten up. I pull out my schedule and scale, dose dose dose its Tuesday dose. I peel away
the dirty clothing, use a wet-nap on the arm so no infections. I am
dirty, unclean. I have a plague which I can't name and I tell myself
all these things as the needle goes in with the cooked me that makes
the new me that makes me a forever me.

Jim's just over there scraping and in my nod I can feel the sound, a table top at the edges of my dream just scraping and scraping and scraping and in the corner of my head I hear a lighter and I hear the point screw off of an old glass rig with a squeak tinkle squeak. I flash red inside red red red like police lights.
I come off my nod violent, I'm on my feet and moving across the room i see Jim or Charley or Nelly or i forget, and he's scraped together that polyurethane table top and cooking it, swirling it and shooting it. I think I'm moving, but then, I'm just dreaming and I look at the trash around me and i think: its time to go to where ever home might be, and Jim flops back to the floor while I'm over here playing statue, and his head cracks the floor five or six times and it sounds like a watermelon all empty and hollow, THOCK THOCK THOCK.

I can finally move again and that patch of light in the floor has moved too; from here to there, so i know an hour or so has passed. I check Nelly or Jim or Charley or I forget and I look in my own eyes through his open dead eyes pupils dialated to obscure the iris. Whatever life he had is gone gone gone and I think: THE POLICE and I shut those brown eyes and I walk across the floor through the trash out into the winter day just barely alive myself, i wonder how i survived whatever came to kill him must have had some purpose beyond my sight and i remember the scraping and i push the memory away.
It is winter enough and I am dead enough without memories like that. I turn left on 79th st up towards Loomis, the world does a dance in the streetlights, the winter wind cannot pierce me, I could be naked for all I know.

title: 79th and Bishop

question: Where does the story take place?

answer: Chicago

question: What happens to Charley or Nelly or Jim or whatever?

answer: He scrapes polyurethane of a table top believing it to have dope residue in it. He shoots it up and dies.

question: How does the narrator feel about the dead man?

answer: He respectfully closes the man's eyes and thinks he is lucky not to have died himself.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: A man tells the tale of the last time he took heroin, leading to the death of a fellow addict and how they feel after their last trip.


text:
"You fell in love with another bimbo, didn't you?" I stopped hugging him.

Becky was far from a bimbo though I'm sure her ability to keep my boyfriend up until dawn trying to understand the fourth dimension was hampered by whatever she was on half the time. Still, here we were again.

"She was... unexpectedly inspiring," he told me. I wondered how much the writer in him worked on that stupid euphemism because it wasn't enough.

He couldn't lie to me. I saw the spark of another she in his eyes. Her taste wasn't on his lips, and not just because he used mouthwash. Her scent wasn't in my favorite spot on his chest on that shirt he wore too much. Her fingerprints weren't on the belt buckle he never cleaned. But Becky was inside him.

"I'm not in love," he whispered.

I tilted my head toward him and started with wide, unconvinced eyes.

"Love's not a binary thing," he said. "I'm not sure what it is exactly, or how I feel now but this is something new, something unexpected."

"I don't care how you define or rationalize it inside yourself, the point is you're not completely mine again!"

"Oh, I didn't realize you owned me."

"You know what I mean!" He didn't. He never knew what it was like to be fully in love. Or emotionally faithful.

His words were Becky's words. There was the meaning of things, then the attempts at better definitions, followed by logical pandering. I never understood how she could major in philosophy or how they accomplished anything when they talked. Our conversations were mental sprints and I was cramping up.

I met him in the middle of a three-year-stretch of getting over his first love. Or was it his first girlfriend? His first "true" inspiration? Whatever. They're all romantic semantics that mean the same thing to me: there's rarely one person in his heart.

"Why does this keep happening, just tell me, why?" I said.

"I... I don't know."

"What part of me is not enough?"

Nothing.

"Is it that I keep forgiving you?"

Nothing.

"Is it that I'm not inspiring enough?"

Nothing.

"Am I not blonde enough? Are my boobs the wrong size? Am I so far from your dream girl that you have to keep looking for her regardless of how much faith I blindly invest in you?"

He shook his head but wouldn't look up.

My temples throbbed at a thousand beats per minute. The same thousand beats that I wanted to pound into his chest just to stop that wandering heart. But no, that'd be too easy. He hadn't earned that kind of peace.

"There's nothing I'd change about you. You're... perfect," he mumbled.

"If I'm so damn perfect, then tell me why this keeps happening! Why do you keep searching for someone else?"

"I'm not searching. I'm really not." He sat down on my briefcase and covered his face. He said something I couldn't make out.

"Stop mumbling!" I said.

"I don't want this to happen. I hate it when it happens. I hate feeling torn."

"You're torn? Oh you poor baby! You're torn between every smart, pretty semi-blonde that jiggles her intellectual hips before fading through your life. Torn between all of them and me. Me. Me! The one girl who stays with you despite all of this. And do you know why, stupid?"

"...because you love me," he answered.

"That's right! That's..." I tried to picture him with Becky but I couldn't. It didn't happen. It was all in his head or his heart or wherever it comes from. Could I really be this hurt by his thoughts? "Maybe I shouldn't judge you or call you stupid. I'm the one too dumb to just end it."

"You're not du--"

"No! No. Why am I even beginning to doubt myself? You're the one who goes around continuously falling for girls other than me and I shouldn't judge you? Ha!"

"I'm not proud of it."

"Is that supposed to make it better?" I said.

"Of course not. I just..."

"What?"

His eyes were fixated on the ground, like he was trying to make sense of the scuffmarks in the pavement.

"What?" I repeated.

Nothing.

"Don't stop being honest now. You just what?"

"I just don't," he started, "I just don't understand. They tell you to follow your heart, right? They say it'll never lead you wrong. That's all I ever do. I follow my heart but I feel like the world keeps punishing me for it."

"They? Who are they? Your muses? Your single friends? Your family that couldn't keep a single relationship from failing?"

"You know what I mean." I didn't.

I'm sure Becky did. Becky or Sarah. Or Lindsey. Or Isabel. The philosophy major or the physics one. The first love or the one he wrote the most about. The one who left for New York years ago. Or someone he didn't even bother telling me about. Maybe they all knew. Maybe that's what separated us.

"You follow your heart too." He looked up at me. "And you're punished for it too."

He was right, for once. I loved him and that never changed. It didn't fluctuate with my moods or based on inspiration. It wasn't subject to a quarter-life crisis or nostalgia from seeing where I grew up. It was honest and constant and raw and kept me by his side. But he was right.

He broke the silence: "I'm sorry this keeps happening. I'm sorry I keep hurting you."

"I've always followed my heart and I always will," I said.

I noticed the car was still running, trunk still open. One suitcase was already inside while he sat on the other. I turned my back to him and stepped off the curb, past the other cars. I didn't even have to raise my hand. One of the cab drivers made eye contact and pulled over.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he finally got off the suitcase.

I walked over to the trunk and yanked my things out.

"Wait." He touched my shoulder in the humble way he used to.

The cab driver followed my finger to the suitcase he sat on. Soon both were in the new trunk. His hand was still on my shoulder.

"You follow your heart, I'll follow mine," I said.

For the first time since our first kiss on that cold night four and a half years ago, his touch wasn't enough to hold me. We followed our hearts but kept coming back to this honest place neither of us could understand.

He came to pick me up but I wouldn't leave with him.

I'd see him at home within the hour.

The cab door slammed shut.

I left the airport that day a beautiful hypocrite.

title: Beautiful Hypocrite

question: Describe the narrator's feelings about herself.

answer: The narrator seems to be self conscious and insecure about herself. The narrator feels this way because her boyfriend states he is not in love with her, and she is worried about the "bimbo" that is in her boyfriend's life. The narrator is hurt to know that her boyfriend is now completely hers and questions herself, specifically her looks.

question: Summarize the narrator's boyfriend's answers to her questions.

answer: The narrator's boyfriend's response to the narrators questions are quite point blank. The boyfriend states that he is not in love and that love is not a binary thing. He also states that the other girl he found to be unexpectedly inspiring. He also states that he is following his heart, and no matter what happens, following his heart is the only thing he can do and hopes it leads him to happiness.

question: Do you think the narrator will find happiness by following her heart?


text:
SUGAR GROVE is an unincorporated community located in Watauga County, North Carolina, United States. It is named after the sugar maples that grow in the area.[1] The community is located along US 321, west of Vilas and Boone, along the banks of Cove Creek.

History

Sugar Grove was founded in 1837, when John Mast opened the Sugar Grove Post Office; that year he reported a revenue of $14.[2] During the Civil War, Company E of the 37th Confederate Regiment was organized September, 1861. Between 1864 and 1865, the home guard battalion of Watauga was stationed at Camp Mast, nearby Sugar Grove. On February 5, 1865, Camp Mast surrendered, by majority vote, after being surrounded at dawn by a battalion of around 100 Union soldiers, led by Captain James Champion, of Indiana; those who voted for surrender were quickly paroled and discharged. In 1915, the first cheese factory in the area was established in Sugar Grove (unknown when closed).[3]

The Cove Creek High School, Ben Farthing Farm, and Ward Family House are listed on the National Register of Historic Places.[4]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

title: Sugar Grove, North Carolina

question: How old is Sugar Grove?

answer: It is 184 years old.

question: How long was the home guard battalion of Watauga stationed at Camp Mast?

answer: For 1 year.

question: How many years ago was the first cheese factory in Sugar Grove established?

answer: 106 years ago.

question: How many years ago was Camp Mast surrendered?

answer: 156 years ago.


text:
[World map of Pornography laws: ]

PORNOGRAPHY IN GERMANY is legal with the exception of child pornography. Like in many other countries, child pornography in Germany is illegal. German prosecution authorities and legal bodies of Germany's 16 states handle the definition of child pornography very differently. The German Edathy affair of 2013/14 following the neglected cooperation of BKA within the Canadian child pornography uncoverings gave way for new legislation procedures in parliament to define the status of either posing or exhibitive pictures of minors. New laws were still in parliamentary debating as lately as 19 December 2014.

Modern German pornography is generally similar to the American “glamour” pornography though often tailored primarily for the German market. In contrast, several German labels focus on a more “home-made” amateur flair, often focusing on intense hardcore themes such as gang bangs, bukkake and urine fetishism; most notably 'German Goo Girls' and other series by John Thompson Productions.

Due to popular belief outside of Germany, fecal pornography known as “scheisse porn” (also spelt _scheiße porn_ – literally 'shit porn' – using the German slang word for faeces) or, more commonly, as “Kaviar” (a generic term) supposedly is particularly popular in Germany, with companies like _SG-Video_ and performers like Austrian Veronica Moser and Simon Thaur or English Ben Chambers specializing in the concept. Although German companies have their fair world market share in producing for this niche market, the major percentage is sold into export.

MindGeek's age-verification software AgeID, which is used to verify the ages of users of pornographic Internet websites, has been in use in Germany since 2015.[1]

History

The world's first sex shop was opened in Flensburg in 1962 by Beate Uhse AG. Post-WW2 commercial movie pornography German began with the softcore film _Graf Porno und seine Mädchen_ (Count Porno and his girls) in 1968. The movie's success (more than 3 million admissions) lead to a whole series of films that was and is referred to in German media as the _Sex-Welle_ (sex wave). The most well known film of this period is _Schulmädchen-Report: Was Eltern nicht für möglich halten_ (The School-Girl Report, what the parents don't believe possible) by Ernst Hofbauer in 1970. The sex scenes had become bolder with time and by 1975, when the legal ban of pornography was lifted, the era of German hardcore pornography began.

Film and pornography

Director Hans Billian was the protagonist of the period and the films were usually in line with the so-called “Bavarian porn sex comedies”, often depicting male performers as comic characters, like Sepp Gneißl in _Kasimir der Kuckuckskleber_ (1977). This era was also characterised by several Josephine Mutzenbacher films.

[1]

title: Pornography in Germany

question: Is pornography in Germany legal?

answer: It is legal with the exception of child pornography.

question: When was the legal ban of pornography lifted in Germany?

answer: In 1975, when the era of German hardcore pornography began.

question: Who is Hans Billian?

answer: Director of porn sex comedy films

question: Where was the world's first sex shop opened?

answer: In Flensburg in 1962

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer:
Pornography in Germany is legal with the exception of child pornography.
The ban on pornography was lifted in 1975, when the era of German hardcore pornography began.


text:
Published
    18 February 2019

A chronology of key events:

CIRCA 800 BC - Jos plateau settled by Nok - a neolithic and iron age civilisation.

CIRCA 11TH CENTURY ONWARDS - Formation of city states, kingdoms and empires, including Hausa kingdoms and Borno dynasty in north, Oyo and Benin kingdoms in south.

1472 - Portuguese navigators reach Nigerian coast.

16-18TH CENTURIES - Slave trade sees Nigerians forcibly sent to the Americas.

1809 - Islamic Sokoto caliphate is founded in north.

1850S - British establish presence around Lagos.

1861-1914 - Britain consolidates its hold over what it calls the Colony and Protectorate of Nigeria, governs through local leaders.

1922 - Part of former German colony Kamerun is added to Nigeria under League of Nations mandate.

1960 - Independence, with Prime Minister Sir Abubakar Tafawa Balewa leading a coalition government.

1966 JANUARY - Mr Balewa killed in coup. Maj-Gen Johnson Aguiyi-Ironsi forms military government.

1966 JULY - General Ironsi killed in counter-coup, replaced by Lieutenant-Colonel Yakubu Gowon.

Biafran war

1967 - Three eastern states secede as the Republic of Biafra, sparking three-year civil war.

1975 - General Gowon overthrown by Brigadier Murtala Ramat Mohammed, who begins process of moving federal capital to Abuja.

1976 - General Mohammed assassinated in failed coup attempt. Replaced by his deputy, Lt-Gene Olusegun Obasanjo, who helps introduce US-style presidential constitution.

1979 - Elections bring Alhaji Shehu Shagari to power.

1983 AUGUST-SEPTEMBER - President Shagari re-elected amid accusations of irregularities.

1983 DECEMBER - Maj-Gen Muhammad Buhari seizes power in bloodless coup.

1985 - Ibrahim Babangida seizes power in bloodless coup, curtails political activity.

1993 JUNE - Military annuls elections when preliminary results show victory by Chief Moshood Abiola.

Abacha years

1993 NOVEMBER - Gen Sani Abacha seizes power, suppresses opposition.

1994 - Moshood Abiola arrested after proclaiming himself president.

1995 - Ken Saro-Wiwa, writer and campaigner against oil industry damage to his Ogoni homeland, is executed following a hasty trial. In protest, European Union imposes sanctions until 1998, Commonwealth suspends Nigeria's membership until 1998.

1998 - Gen Sani Abacha dies and is succeeded by Maj-Gen Abdulsalami Abubakar. Moshood Abiola dies in custody a month later.

1999 - Parliamentary and presidential elections. Olusegun Obasanjo sworn in as president.

2000 - Adoption of Islamic Sharia law by several northern states in the face of opposition from Christians. Tension over the issue results in hundreds of deaths in clashes between Christians and Muslims.

2001 - Tribal war in Benue State, in eastern-central Nigeria, displaces thousands of people. Troops sent to quash the fighting kill more than 200 unarmed civilians, apparently in retaliation for the abduction and murder of 19 soldiers.

Ethnic violence

2002 FEBRUARY - Some 100 people are killed in Lagos in clashes between Hausas from mainly-Islamic north and Yorubas from predominantly-Christian southwest.

2002 NOVEMBER - More than 200 people die in four days of rioting stoked by Muslim fury over the planned Miss World beauty pageant in Kaduna in December. The event is relocated to Britain.

2003 12 APRIL - First legislative elections since end of military rule in 1999. Polling marked by delays, allegations of ballot-rigging. President Obasanjo's People's Democratic Party wins parliamentary majority.

Obasanjo re-elected

2003 19 APRIL - First civilian-run presidential elections since end of military rule. Olusegun Obasanjo elected for second term despite EU observers reporting "serious irregularities".

2003 SEPTEMBER - Nigeria's first satellite, NigeriaSat-1, launched by Russian rocket.

2004 MAY - State of emergency is declared in the central Plateau State after more than 200 Muslims are killed in Yelwa in attacks by Christian militia; revenge attacks are launched by Muslim youths in Kano.

Trouble in the south

2004 AUGUST-SEPTEMBER - Deadly clashes between gangs in oil city of Port Harcourt prompts strong crackdown by troops. Rights group Amnesty International cites death toll of 500, authorities say about 20 died.

2006 JANUARY onwards - Militants in the Niger Delta attack pipelines and other oil facilities and kidnap foreign oil workers. The rebels demand more control over the region's oil wealth.

2006 APRIL - Helped by record oil prices, Nigeria becomes the first African nation to pay off its debt to the Paris Club of rich lenders, which had written off two-thirds of the $30bn debt the previous year.

2006 AUGUST - Nigeria agrees to cede sovereignty over the disputed Bakassi peninsula to neighbouring Cameroon under the terms of a 2002 International Court of Justice ruling. Transfer takes place in 2008.

2007 APRIL - Umaru Yar'Adua of the ruling People's Democratic Party wins the presidential election.

Boko Haram uprising

2009 JULY - Hundreds die in northeastern Nigeria after the Boko Haram Islamist movement launches an enduring campaign of violence.

Government frees the leader of the Niger Delta militant group Mend, Henry Okah, after he accepts an amnesty offer.

2010 MAY - President Umaru Yar'Adua dies after a long illness. Vice-President Goodluck Jonathan, already acting in Yar'Adua's stead, succeeds him.

2011 MARCH - Vice-President Goodluck Jonathan wins presidential elections.

2012 January - More than 100 killed in single day of co-ordinated bombings and shootings in Kano, shortly after Boko Haram tells Christians to quit the north.

2013 May - Government declares state of emergency in three northern states of Yobe, Borno and Adamawa and sends in troops to combat Boko Haram.

2014 April - Boko Haram kidnaps more than 200 girls from a boarding school in northern town of Chibok, in an incident that draws major national and international outrage.

2014 November - Boko Haram launches a series of attacks in northeastern Nigeria, capturing several towns near Lake Chad and running raids into neighbouring Chad and Cameroon in early 2015. It switches allegiance from al-Qaeda to the Islamic State group.

2015 February-March - Nigeria, Chad, Cameroon and Niger form military coalition and push Boko Haram out of all towns back into Sambisa Forest.

2015 March - Muhammadu Buhari wins the presidential election, becoming the first opposition candidate to do so in Nigeria's history.

2016 June - Naira currency floated in attempt to stave off financial crisis caused by low oil prices.

2016 November - Niger Delta Avengers rebels bomb three oil pipelines in attempt to renew southern insurgency.

2017 December - Clashes between herders in Benue and Taraba states prompt thousands to flee.

2018 - Escalating attacks by Boko Haram from August onwards, targeting army bases.

2019 February - Presidential elections held after last-minute delay of a week.

question: Summarize the time period of 16th-18th centuries, according to what is given in the text.

answer: In the text, the time period of 16th-18th centuries is said to be when slave trade sees Nigerians forcibly sent to the Americas.

question: Summarize the time period of the Biafran War.

answer: The Biafran war started at 1967 and went until June 1993, according to the text. This three year civil war was sparked by three eastern states seceding as the Republic of Biafra. Afterwards, there was a failed coup attempt and elections brought Alhaji Shehu Shagari to power. Finally, another election was held in which the results showed victory of Chief Moshood Abiola.

question: Summarize the time period in the text labeled as "Ethnic Violence".

answer: The time period in the text labeled as "Ethnic Violence" is said to start from February 2002 and go until April 12, 2003. During this time period, starting from February 2002, 100 were killed in Lagos from the clashes between the mainly-Islamic north and the predominately-Christian southwest. Then in November 2002, more than 200 peopled died in four days from the rioting stoked by Muslin fury at the Miss World beauty pageant. Lastly, in April of 2003,President Obasanjo's People's Democratic Party wins parliamentary majority.

question: Summarize the role President Obasanjo played during this problematic time period.

answer: First and foremost, President Obasanjo was sworn in during the Abacha years, which were very controversial years and full of violence. Afterwards, President Obasanjo's People's Democratic Party wins parliamentary majority during a time period of ethnic violence. Finally, Obasanjo is re-elected for a second term despite the EU reporting serious irregularities.


text:
[] CRAFT MUSEUM OF FINLAND is a museum in Jyväskylä. Like the other national specialist museums in Finland, its task is to promote and guide museum activities and coordinate museum cooperation in the field of crafts. The museum also does also research, documenting and exhibition work within its field.[1]

Decision to establish a Craft museum in Finland was made already during the years of autonomic Grand Duchy of Finland: The Senate of Finland budgeted funding for the museum since 1890. The museum operated under different organisations, and in 1933 it was discontinued. The museum restarted in 1982. It moved to its present location in 2000.[2]

The collections now include over 17000 objects. The majority of old items are textiles, such as pieces of cloth, ribbons and various tablecloths. The museum's goal is to add to the collection essential phenomena of the handicraft culture from the present day.[3] Journalist and craft teacher Tyyne-Kerttu Virkki donated her collection of 3000 items to the museum in 2010.[4]

The National Costume Center of Finland works as part of the Craft Museum. The Center displays national costumes and other traditional clothing of Finland.[5]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4] Kokoelmat Virkki Museum

[5]

title: Craft Museum of Finland

question: Where is the Craft Museum of Finland?

answer: Jyvaskyla.

question: When did the Senate of Finland budget the museum?

answer: 1890.

question: When was the museum discontinued?

answer: 1933.

question: When was the museum restarted?

answer: 1982.

question: Write a ~1 sentence summary.

answer: The article is about the Finland Craft Museum and it discusses the history and funding of that institution.


text:
LARS ØVREBØ (born 15 July 1984) is a Norwegian football midfielder.

He started his career at Vålerenga IF. He got one Norwegian Premier League game in 2002 and seven in 2004.[1] He left after the 2004 season, and joined Drøbak/Frogn IF in the summer of 2005.[2] In the latter part of the 2006 season he was loaned by Moss FK.[3] After the 2006 season he signed a permanent contract.[4] After the 2009 season he went on to Drøbak/Frogn, then played on a lower level with Lille Tøyen FK.[5]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

title: Lars Øvrebø

question: What position did Lars Øvrebø play?

answer: midfielder

question: What teams did Lars Øvrebø play form?

answer: Vålerenga IF, Drøbak/Frogn IF, Moss FK, and Lille Tøyen FK

question: When did Lars Øvrebø make his debut?

answer: That information can't be found.

question: What nationality is Lars Øvrebø?

answer: Norwegian

question: Write a ~2 sentence summary.

answer: Lars Øvrebø is a professional Norwegian footballer who has played for Vålerenga IF, Drøbak/Frogn IF, Moss FK, and Lille Tøyen FK. His position is midfielder.


text:
IRVIN KEY “KAISER” WILHELM (January 26, 1874 – May 22, 1936) was a pitcher and manager in Major League Baseball. Between 1903 and 1914, he moved between the major and minor leagues several times. He played for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Boston Beaneaters, Brooklyn Superbas and Baltimore Terrapins. After 1914, Wilhelm spent time as a player, manager and scout for the minor leagues. In 1921, he became the manager for the Philadelphia Phillies and pitched in four games for the team.

Wilhelm held the minor league baseball pitching record for consecutive scoreless innings for 97 years, but he was not recognized as the record holder by baseball officials until 2004.[1] Baseball officials declared Wilhelm the record holder a few days before Brad Thompson was thought to have broken the record. Two days after Wilhelm's streak was thought to have been broken, _The New York Times_ reported that a historian found three scoreless innings that were previously left off of Wilhelm's streak, indicating that his record had not actually been broken.[2] Wilhelm is still the current record holder.

Early life

Wilhelm was born in Wooster, Ohio, to Joseph H. and Celia P. DeMiller Wilhelm. His father had found work as a painter, blacksmith and house decorator. Wilhelm attended Wooster High School; the school did not have a baseball team. He entered professional baseball in 1895 with the Mansfield Kids.[3]

Career

While pitching for the Birmingham Barons in 1902, Wilhelm threw back-to-back one-hit games. This attracted the attention of Pittsburgh Pirates owner Barney Dreyfuss, who invited Wilhelm to spring training with the Pirates in 1903.[4] Wilhelm appeared in 12 games that year for the Pirates, finishing with a 5–3 win-loss record. He played with the Boston Beaneaters in the next two seasons. In 1904, Wilhelm earned a 14–20 record and gave up a league-high 118 earned runs. The next year he gave up 122 earned runs, second highest in the league, and finished with a 3–23 record.[5] Wilhelm became commonly known as “Kaiser” during his career, a nickname that originated from the early 20th century German emperor Wilhelm II.[6] [A 1909 baseball card of Wilhelm produced by the American Tobacco Company.]

Playing for the Barons in 1906, Wilhelm pitched the team's first perfect game since its founding in 1884. The 1906 Barons won the team's first title since joining the Southern Association in 1901.[7] His record that year was 22–13. He had similar success the following year, finishing 23–14.[8] Wilhelm returned to the major leagues with the Brooklyn Superbas from 1908 to 1910. His most notable game from that period may have been a three-hit, thirteen-inning win on Opening Day 1909; opposing pitcher Red Ames had a no-hitter going into the tenth inning.[9] In his three seasons with Brooklyn, he registered a 22–42 record.[10]

Wilhelm was back in the minor leagues with Rochester in 1911. In three seasons with Rochester, he won 48 games and lost 24 games.[11] Before the 1914 baseball season, Wilhelm was signed by the Baltimore Terrapins of the Federal League (FL).[12] In 1915, the new Colonial League emerged with backing from the FL. An agreement between the leagues provided each Colonial League team with six FL players; the FL received $200 per month for each player sent to the new league. When ordered to the new league by FL officials, Wilhelm refused to report. Instead, he was made an FL umpire.[13]

In 1916, Wilhelm sued the Terrapins on the grounds that he had signed a three-year contract in 1914 worth $10,500 and that he was not allowed to continue with the team after July 1, 1915.[14] Wilhelm spent the 1916 and 1917 seasons with the Elmira Colonels of the New York State League. In those two seasons, he finished 14–19 and 17–16 respectively.[15] Wilhelm pitched for the Jersey City Skeeters of the International League in 1920. That year he was the winning pitcher of both games of a doubleheader, leading the team to 7–3 and 10–0 wins.[16]

Wilhelm became manager of the Philadelphia Phillies during the 1921 season.[17] In early September, _The New York Times_ criticized Wilhelm's team after losing both games of a doubleheader, saying that “Every day is Labor Day for the Phillies... The Quakers were in perfect stride during both contests and demonstrated that they can lose as easily and dexterously on a holiday as on any other occasion.”[18] Wilhelm had become the interim manager earlier in the season after Wild Bill Donovan was called as a witness in the trial surrounding the Black Sox Scandal.[19] Wilhelm was discharged from his position in late 1922.[20] Wilhelm's managerial record was 83–137 in Philadelphia, which included 96 losses in 1922.[21]

In 1923, Wilhelm made his final professional appearance as a player, taking part in a single game for the Rochester Tribe.[22] In the summer of 1928, Wilhelm took a position as scout for the Montreal Royals.[23] Wilhelm died in 1936 and a benefit minor league game was held in Rochester to assist his widow.[24]

Scoreless innings streak

While playing in the minor leagues in 1907, Wilhelm pitched a long streak of consecutive innings without giving up a run. In May 2004, pitcher Brad Thompson was approaching the minor league record for this statistical category, by this time thought by the National Association of Professional Baseball Leagues (NAPBL) to belong to Urban Shocker. Shocker threw 54 consecutive scoreless innings in 1916.[25] A May 16 Associated Press article said that the NAPBL took a further look at its records and recognized that Wilhelm held the record, having thrown 56 consecutive scoreless innings in 1907.[26] On May 19, 2004, Thompson took his streak to 57 innings before he gave up a run.[27]

Two days after Thompson was thought to have broken the record, _The New York Times_ published an article indicating that three innings had been previously left off of Wilhelm's scoreless innings streak, meaning that Wilhelm should still hold the record for the longest such streak in the minor leagues—59 innings. The omitted innings had been discovered by Dave Chase, who was a baseball historian and a minor league general manager for the Memphis Redbirds.[28] Baseball researcher Ray Nemec later found that Wilhelm had come up to the major leagues with his streak intact, then returned to the minor leagues in 1911 and pitched 13 more consecutive scoreless innings. This took Wilhelm's minor league consecutive scoreless innings streak to 72.[29]

According to research by Walter Johnson's biographer, the actual record should be 77, from Johnson's 1907 season with the Weiser Kids of the Idaho State League.[30]

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title: Kaiser Wilhelm (baseball)

question: How long has Kaiser Wilhelm been in the baseball industry?

answer: Since 1895, when he first joined the Mansfield Kids.

question: What might have happened if the Birmingham Barons did not win in 1906?

answer: Wilhelm would not be holding the record for pitching the team's first perfect game and his career in baseball would have taken a different turn.