text:
Just before 5 PM on Friday, Ray stands alone on the third floor to the company’s nearly empty office building. He’s facing a familiar beeping metal door, his lower lip snug between his teeth. There’s gum in his mouth but he keeps it still, straining to put on what he hopes to be a charming composure. If he can time his exit just right, he’s sure he can run into the gorgeous new girl who had eyed him more than once today.

On the second floor, Rachel steps inside the elevator and pushes the button labeled "4". She grips her smartphone and winces as the elevator starts to climb. Whether this feeling is from the elevator or from the thought of meeting the guy who returned almost all her curious glances today, she can’t decide. By the time she reaches the third floor she's smiling and shaking her head, having convinced herself there's little chance of meeting him.

Ray notices the digital number flick to “2” and then “3”. Anticipation overrides his clarity of thought and the gum starts bouncing between his teeth without permission. He watches the crack in the door widen to reveal what he’s been hoping to see. She appears behind the door smiling at him, focusing on showing off the large dimples in her cheeks. Ray notices she had been smiling before the door opened.

He’s standing there stunned for a second, until he remembers what his face must look like and immediately bites down on the corner of his lip. He grins and joins Rachel inside to stand beside her. He has her all to himself for one floor.

He retrieves more of his gum from his pants pocket, gesturing for her to take a piece.
Rachel smiles again, “How’d you know” and reaches toward his hand. The moment their hands touch, a static shock causes Ray to drop the gum on the floor between them.

“Shit” Ray blurts. They both stand grinning at each other for a second then both look down at the gum on the floor. Unaware of each other for a just a moment they both lean forward to grab the gum. Their heads collide painfully hard, causing them to fall down and land on the floor opposite each other. With one hand each on their heads, they sit staring wide-eyed at each other with mirrored expressions of relief and excitement.

title: Ray vs Rachel

question: Describe Ray.

answer: Ray is a corporate employee, straining for charming composure. He has gum.

text: The last part of the response does not need to be included, " He has gum."

refinement: Ray is a corporate employee, straining for charming composure.

answer: Ray is on the third floor, leaning against a metal door, waiting for the elevator. Ray is very focused on getting to know the new girl who just started. Ray is short, has medium length brown hair, and wears an oversized navy-blue fleece. Ray is wearing white jeans, a navy-blue T-shirt with a teal Under Armour logo, and has on black sneakers with white-bordered Nike stockings.

text: The first half of this answer does not need to be included as it discusses Ray's actions and not necessarily anything that needs to included.

refinement: Ray is short, has medium length brown hair, and wears an oversized navy-blue fleece. Ray is wearing white jeans, a navy-blue T-shirt with a teal Under Armour logo, and has on black sneakers with white-bordered Nike stockings.

answer: Ray is young, tall, and a optimist who's trying to read a smile that shows Rachel's got big dimples on her cheeks. Ray has a light personality. He wears jeans, sneakers, and a blue shirt.

question: Describe Rachel.

answer: Rachel appears warm and friendly in personality, quick to smile or crack a joke. She appears to be physically clumsy but makes the event into something funny rather than embarrassing. She displays easygoing demeanour and does not appear easily flustered.

answer: She is a corporate employee, new to the company. She has dimples.

text: More detail can be added to this response.

refinement: Rachel is a corporate employee, new to the company. She has dimples and provides a smile to Ray.

answer: Rachel appears to be a vibrant and spontaneous person. She's likely intelligent and inquisitive, simultaneously being humble and curious. While she may have a knack for getting into mishaps, she's also charming and can laugh at herself.

text: This response has a lot of inferred characteristics of what Rachel is to be. Sticking to the details provided in the passage, is the best way to respond to the question.

refinement: Rachel appears to be a vibrant and spontaneous person. While she may have a knack for getting into mishaps, she's also charming and can laugh at herself.

question: Summarize everything relating to Ray and Rachel's relationship.

answer: They work in the same office building and have been exchanging glances all day. Rachel is new and they are both interested in meeting each other. They end up in the same elevator at the end of the day, where Ray offers Rachel gum and the static shock of touching causes him to drop the gum. They both reach down for the gum, unknowingly in sync, and hit their heads together.

text: This is a good response, but focuses more on the details of Ray and Rachel's relationship rather than describing what they have, as possible lovers.

refinement: They work in the same office building and have been exchanging glances all day. Rachel is new and they are both interested in meeting each other.

answer: Ray observes the number next to the elevator grind to "4" in which they're both on the way to their respective destinations. Rachel notices Ray giving her curious glances and hopes that the chance of them visiting at the same time was small. Ray clearly idolizes her and in the same way, Rachel is trying to flirt from afar. They both feel electric shocks when their hands touch from sharing gum. Ray drops the gum and when he retrieves it with Rachel's help, they brush their heads forcefully against each other, causing both to pain and fall down onto the floor.

text: This response provides more details about Rachel and Ray than needed. The response needs to summarize their relationship rather than pointing out the actions of them from the passage.

refinement: Ray and Rachel share some physical interactions which cause them to create chemistry between them and exchange smiles.

answer: Ray seems attracted to Rachel. It is shown that he likes the gum that Rachel offers him. Rachel and Ray bump heads after contact when reaching for the gum. They fall onto the floor and stare at each other. They both seem relieved and excited. The story is left open ended for what happens to their relationship.

question: Where is the story set?

answer: It most likely occurs in an elevator and in a (vacant) office building.

answer: In an elevator and by the elevator doors in an office building.

text: In order to make this response stronger, it is important to include a noun clause in the beginning of the sentence. For example, " The story is most likely set..."

refinement: The story is most likely set in an elevator and by the elevator doors in an office building.

answer: The third floor of an office building.

text: This response provides the most base-level description. There can be more detail provided in this response.

refinement: The story is set on the third floor of an office building, and by an elevator.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: Ray and Rachel work in the same office building and have been exchanging glances all day. Rachel is new and they are both interested in meeting each other. They end up in the same elevator at the end of the day, where Ray offers Rachel gum and the static shock of touching causes him to drop the gum. They both reach down for the gum, unknowingly in sync, and hit their heads together.

answer: Ray planned to run into a girl named Rachel, but when the elevator door opens, they bump into each other and knock each other down. When they stand up and realize this, they begin really flirting and find it comical.

text: There are some leaps of events that are used in this summary that do not need to be taken. Ray does not plan to run into Rachel.

refinement: Ray runs into a girl named Rachel, but when the elevator door opens, they bump into each other and knock each other down. When they stand up and realize this, they begin exchanging glances,and find the whole situation comical.

answer: Ray and Rachel collide painfully after trying to grab the gum out of one another's hands. When they sit up they see the same excited expression on their faces. Rachel starts to get up, but when their hands touch they feel the static as the two quickly realize they are the other's mystery love interest.

text: There seems to be more inferred comments used in this summary. Sticking to what details are given in the passage will create a stronger response.

refinement: Ray and Rachel collide painfully after trying to grab the gum out of one another's hands. When they sit up they see the same excited expression on their faces. They both laugh at the little accident, and start to talk with one another.

answer: Two strangers on a work elevator, Ray and Rachel, bump heads and wake up glad to find they found interest and attraction in each others presence.

answer: The passage tells the story of two people, Ray and Rachel, who work in an office building, Ray hiding behind a metal door and Rachel entering the elevator for the second floor while he waits. Ray becomes excited to see Rachel in the elevator and upon realizing she's walking down the same hall as him, he tries to flirt. When they both reach the third floor, Ray offers gum and Rachel lightly touches Ray's hand as he hands it to her. Unfortunately, right after their first contact of touch, their heads collide painfully. The story ends with them both sitting on the floor, one hand on their head, looking at each other and foolishly grinning.

text: No response is provided.

refinement: Any summary of this passage would be applicable here.


split: train

text:
I just stumbled upon this subreddit and I'm sure this story has been told in some shape or form, but here's my version of it.

My junior year at university, I took a pizza delivery job in a small town in central New Jersey. The owner, my boss, was straight off the plane from Italy; he had become a fixture in the neighborhood as the standard by which everyone judged their Italian food, supplementing the palate-appealing pizzas and appetizers with a little home grown Sicilian charm. He was only a businessman to the extent he was a pizzaman, with his passion for casually conversing with customers as he cooked calzones and pizzas propped up only by his need to make a living. For years he ran that restaurant, coming to know everyone in the town - from the cops who wanted a slice between cutting tickets, to the regulars who just didn't feel like cooking after a hard days work, to the creeps and villains alike.

So it's Thursday, one of the busier nights, and the phone rings. I answer it and begin to take the order. I had only been working at the restaurant for about two weeks, and was unfamiliar with the area but finally catching on to how it worked.

"[Our Restaurant], this is [me], how may I help you."

"Hi, yes." Says a scratchy voice on the other side of the phone. "I'd like to order one large plain pizza." A cough rang out of the end of the sentence. It was a woman. Old, more than likely, probably trying to squeeze in a slice or two before her last episode of Murder She Wrote before bed.

"Great." I said, as I followed the textbook script informing her it would cost $18.12 and would be ready in 30 minutes, mindlessly jotting down her address and phone number.

"Excellent I'm looking forward to it... when are you getting here sir, are you the one who's going to make the delivery?" An odd inquiry I thought, but perhaps just a polite gesture of concern and amicability that still exists among older generations.

"Yes, ma'am, shouldn't be too long."

"Great, see you soon sweetheart."

*click*

I collected the ticket and walked it over behind the black and white tile counter, submitting the order to the already backed up docket of orders. My boss hadn't paid any particular attention to me as I slipped it in the order-rail pursuant to practice - Thursdays were always this busy, and he didn't want to lose concentration between kneading the dough and covering it with sauce and cheese. He looked up at the ticket as he always did to see what, if anything, special he had to prepare for a potentially different order, this time staring for a few seconds longer than he usually did. He glanced back down at the dough, a with a smirk forming on his face.

"This is a good one." he said, peering at me over his glasses with dough being pressed roughly between his knuckles and the cold tile counter.

I paid no mind to it and went about my business, serving the customers in the restaurant and taking more orders.

Thirty minutes passed, and he handed me the single box of pizza with the heater bag.

I drove to the address. It was part of an apartment complex with the doors to the apartments on the outside, duplexes with a main door opening up to a staircase that led to the second floor apartment and the first floor apartment door immediately to the left. I rang the doorbell and waited outside the main door, examining the various contents and decor of the house - a green wreath, withered from the cold, stared me back in the face.

That's when it hit me. My ruminations were interrupted by the overwhelming stench of cigarette smoke, filling my nostrils and my lungs like an unrelenting wave. Before I could register the overpowering scent, the door opened, and a figure stood leaning against the door frame. She was short, maybe 5'4", and I couldn't make out anything about her face because it was dark out and the light behind her was temporarily blinding me. She dragged her cigarette without breaking posture, leaning on the frame with one elbow tucked under the other in front of her waist.

"Well hello." I recognized the scratchy voice I heard on the phone, but face-to-face, it was different - it was sultry, or at least the best attempt at sultriness that an older woman's voice box would allow. Smoke exited her mouth as she tilted her head, beckoning for me to come inside.

As my eyes adjusted to the indoor lights, I could make out that she was wearing a robe. Blue. Sapphire Blue. With pink clouds sewn on the cotton, peppering the garment in a random pattern.

"Just put the pizza on that table over there." I did as instructed. "I'm going to the kitchen to get your money baby."

For a second I thought about what she had just said - did I hear that correctly? The self-questioning I put myself through was abruptly halted as she emerged from the kitchen, with the living room light finally illuminating her front enough for me to make our her features. 75, minimum, with great posture for such age. Her face was straddled with wrinkles and her walk was of casual demeanor, staring me down with two eyes that matched her gown. She got close to me, grabbed my palm and softly plopped a $20 bill and closed my hand, not letting go. What I thought was happening was actually happening.

She pushed me backwards, her fragile, pruny hands pressing against my sternum in the direction of the door. I turned around with the pizza heater sleeve and hurried out the front, failing to give the usual gesture that implied a $1.88 tip is bullshit, caught between a mix of feeling petrified and how fucking hilarious this story is going to be to tell my roommates when I get back home. I nearly ran outside down the two stairs that led to the sidewalk, noticing that a silhoutte was stalking me, cast taller than I against the sidewalk in front of me.

I turned around.

"Next time," she said, leaning in a similar manner against the frame she was when she answered the door, smoke billowing out of her nostrils as she stared at me like prey, "I'll have to order the sausage pizza." She winked, and slammed the door shut.

They say that when you're in shock you cannot really register anything. I drove back to the restaurant, unable to even engage in my favorite activity of flipping through the radio stations and expressing discontent at awful cocktail of commercials and shitty music DJs try to peddle to listeners; I ran the line through my head over and over. "Sausage Pizza."
I walked through the door and my boss started laughing hysterically as if he had a sense of clairvoyance that allowed him to witness the situation that happened only a few miles away.

"Have fun?" My boss continued to laugh, adjusting his glasses. "Did she ask for the extra sausage?"

I had repressed that memory until coming across this subreddit, and I'm sure it's happened to one of you guys before. But I hope you enjoyed hearing it as much as I did telling it.

title: Special Delivery [x-post from TalesfromthePizzaGuy]

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize the plot of the story.

answer: A delivery pizza guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, she opens the door a crack and hands him 20$. The narrator sees that she is smoking inside and quickly hands back the bill and heads off. However, the woman happens to be Elvira, the legendary Mistress of the Dark and it seems her next order will be pizza with the extra sausage.

text: "A delivery pizza guy" - is incorrect. Change to "A pizza delivery guy"

refinement: A pizza delivery guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, she opens the door a crack and hands him 20$. The narrator sees that she is smoking inside and quickly hands back the bill and heads off. However, the woman happens to be Elvira, the legendary Mistress of the Dark and it seems her next order will be pizza with the extra sausage.

text: "When he arrives, she opens the door a crack and hands him 20$. The narrator sees that she is smoking inside and quickly hands back the bill and heads off." - this is inaccurate as the events in the story did not happen this way.

refinement: A pizza delivery guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, his nostrils and lungs are assaulted by relentless cigarette smoke as the door to the apartment opens, revealing a short, older lady (75 years old minimum) wearing a blue silk robe leaning on the door frame. She tells him to come inside and leave the pizza on the table while she gets the money. The pizza guy can't believe his ears as the older woman called him "baby" and was clearly trying to seduce him. She comes back and gently places a $20 on his palm and closes it, not letting go, pushing him back towards the door. Petrified, the narrator hurriedly ran outside because he could see the older woman's silhouette stalking him. However, the woman happens to be Elvira, the legendary Mistress of the Dark and it seems her next order will be pizza with the extra sausage.

text: "However, the woman happens to be Elvira, the legendary Mistress of the Dark" - this is false information. Elvira was never mentioned anywhere in the story.

refinement: A pizza delivery guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, his nostrils and lungs are assaulted by relentless cigarette smoke as the door to the apartment opens, revealing a short, older lady (75 years old minimum) wearing a blue silk robe leaning on the door frame. She tells him to come inside and leave the pizza on the table while she gets the money. The pizza guy can't believe his ears as the older woman called him "baby" and was clearly trying to seduce him. She comes back and gently places a $20 on his palm and closes it, not letting go, pushing him back towards the door. Petrified, the narrator hurriedly ran outside because he could see the older woman's silhouette stalking him. It seems her next order will be pizza with the extra sausage.

text: Needs to add the part where the older woman calls out the narrator and tells him she'll order the sausage pizza next time.

refinement: A pizza delivery guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, his nostrils and lungs are assaulted by relentless cigarette smoke as the door to the apartment opens, revealing a short, older lady (75 years old minimum) wearing a blue silk robe leaning on the door frame. She tells him to come inside and leave the pizza on the table while she gets the money. The pizza guy can't believe his ears as the older woman called him "baby" and was clearly trying to seduce him. She comes back and gently places a $20 on his palm and closes it, not letting go, pushing him back towards the door. Petrified, the narrator hurriedly ran outside because he could see the older woman's silhouette stalking him. The older woman winks at the narrator and tells him she'll order the sausage pizza next time.

text: Add that the narrator's boss seems to be familiar with the older woman's antics.

refinement: A pizza delivery guy takes a phone call from an older woman who orders one large plain pizza. When he arrives, his nostrils and lungs are assaulted by relentless cigarette smoke as the door to the apartment opens, revealing a short, older lady (75 years old minimum) wearing a blue silk robe leaning on the door frame. She tells him to come inside and leave the pizza on the table while she gets the money. The pizza guy can't believe his ears as the older woman called him "baby" and was clearly trying to seduce him. She comes back and gently places a $20 on his palm and closes it, not letting go, pushing him back towards the door. Petrified, the narrator hurriedly ran outside because he could see the older woman's silhouette stalking him. The older woman winks at the narrator and tells him she'll order the sausage pizza next time. It seems that the narrator's boss knows all about the older woman's antics.

answer: A college student takes a delivery to an elderly woman's apartment and she invites him in, pulls him close, and insists on extra sausage on the pizza. She then shuts the door and leaves him standing there shocked.

text: "takes a delivery" - is vague. Change to "delivers a pizza"

refinement: A college student delivers a pizza to an elderly woman's apartment and she invites him in, pulls him close, and insists on extra sausage on the pizza. She then shuts the door and leaves him standing there shocked.

text: "A college student delivers a pizza to an elderly woman's apartment" - this should be separate from the rest of the response. Remove "and" and "She" should be the beginning of a new sentence.

refinement: A college student delivers a pizza to an elderly woman's apartment. She invites him in, pulls him close, and insists on extra sausage on the pizza. She then shuts the door and leaves him standing there shocked.

text: Needs to add a little more details about what happened.

refinement: A college student delivers a pizza to an elderly woman's apartment. She invites him in, flirts, tries to seduce him, pulls him close, and tells him that she'll have to order the sausage pizza next time, before giving him a wink. She then shuts the door and leaves him standing there shocked.

answer: The narrator is working at a pizzeria, and takes an unusual phone order. While making it, their boss says that "this is a good one," with a smirk. The narrator then goes to deliver the pizza. The customer is an old woman, and is acting sultry and says "Next time, I'll have to order the sausage pizza." The narrator hurries away and drives back to the restaurant.

text: "pizzeria," - remove the comma.

refinement: The narrator is working at a pizzeria and takes an unusual phone order. While making it, their boss says that "this is a good one," with a smirk. The narrator then goes to deliver the pizza. The customer is an old woman, and is acting sultry and says "Next time, I'll have to order the sausage pizza." The narrator hurries away and drives back to the restaurant.

text: Add that the order was from an older woman who asked him if he was the one delivering the pizza.

refinement: The narrator is working at a pizzeria and takes an unusual phone order from an elderly lady asking if he was the one who was delivering the pizza. While making it, their boss says that "this is a good one," with a smirk. The narrator then goes to deliver the pizza. The customer is an old woman, and is acting sultry and says "Next time, I'll have to order the sausage pizza." The narrator hurries away and drives back to the restaurant.

text: Missing a few details of what happened when the narrator got to the apartment.

refinement: The narrator is working at a pizzeria and takes an unusual phone order from an elderly lady asking if he was the one who was delivering the pizza. While making it, their boss says that "this is a good one," with a smirk. The narrator then goes to deliver the pizza. The customer is an older woman, around 75 years old minimum, trying to act and sound sultry and clearly flirting and trying to seduce the narrator. The petrified narrator rushes out the door after getting paid. "Next time, I'll have to order the sausage pizza." The narrator hurries away and drives back to the restaurant.

text: Missing a few details about the sequence where the older lady called out to the narrator about the sausage pizza.

refinement: The narrator is working at a pizzeria and takes an unusual phone order from an elderly lady asking if he was the one who was delivering the pizza. While making it, their boss says that "this is a good one," with a smirk. The narrator then goes to deliver the pizza. The customer is an older woman, around 75 years old minimum, trying to act and sound sultry and clearly flirting and trying to seduce the narrator. The petrified narrator rushes out the door after getting paid. The older woman calls out to the narrator "Next time, I'll have to order the sausage pizza," winks at him, and slams the door. The narrator hurries away and drives back to the restaurant.

answer: A college student takes a pizza delivery job for an Italian restaurant. On his way to deliver a pizza to an older woman's apartment, he realizes she had requested "the extra sausage." The old woman then hustled him out of her apartment and winked at him. Upon returning to the restaurant, he recounts the bizarre night to his boss, who laughed hysterically.

text: "On his way to deliver a pizza to an older woman's apartment, he realizes she had requested "the extra sausage." - this is inaccurate. The narrator wasn't on his way to the woman's apartment when he realized she requested the extra sausage. He was already there.

refinement: A college student takes a pizza delivery job for an Italian restaurant. He just delivered a pizza to an elderly lady who requested "the extra sausage." The old woman then hustled him out of her apartment and winked at him. Upon returning to the restaurant, he recounts the bizarre night to his boss, who laughed hysterically.

text: "He just delivered a pizza to an elderly lady who requested "the extra sausage." The old woman then hustled him out of her apartment and winked at him." - missing a few key details of what happened.

refinement: A college student takes a pizza delivery job for an Italian restaurant. He delivered a pizza to an elderly lady of about 75 years who was acting sultry and clearly flirting with him. She invites him inside, calls him "baby", and doesn't let go of his hand when she places a $20 bill as payment for the pizza. She then hustled the petrified yet amused narrator out of her apartment and tells him next time, she'll order the sausage pizza. She winked at him at slammed the door. Upon returning to the restaurant, he recounts the bizarre night to his boss, who laughed hysterically.

answer: The narrator is working a pizza delivery gig when an old woman calls in a large plain pizza. She's stern but courteous on the phone and him, and seems to flirt with him. She gives him her tip in the form of a phrase, which we never hear. Before he can get home, she calls him back to say what sounds like "next time I'll have to order the saussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed pizza," and releases a growling noise into his headset.

text: "She's stern but courteous on the phone and him, and seems to flirt with him." - this is inaccurate. The woman being stern was never implied or mentioned anywhere in the story. Needs a revision.

refinement: The narrator is working a pizza delivery gig when an old woman calls in a large plain pizza. She's courteous on the phone and seems to flirt with him. She gives him her tip in the form of a phrase, which we never hear. Before he can get home, she calls him back to say what sounds like "next time I'll have to order the saussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed pizza," and releases a growling noise into his headset.

text: "She gives him her tip in the form of a phrase, which we never hear." - this never happened and should be removed.

refinement: The narrator is working a pizza delivery gig when an old woman calls in a large plain pizza. She's courteous on the phone and seems to flirt with him. Before he can get home, she calls him back to say what sounds like "next time I'll have to order the saussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed pizza," and releases a growling noise into his headset.

text: "Before he can get home, she calls him back to say what sounds like "next time I'll have to order the saussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed pizza," and releases a growling noise into his headset" - this is incorrect information. Aside from the obvious typo error, the woman never called the narrator back or growled into his headset.

refinement: The narrator is working a pizza delivery gig when an old woman calls in a large plain pizza. She's courteous on the phone and seems to flirt with him.

text: The response is missing several key details from the story, especially what happened to the narrator when he delivered the pizza to the lady.

refinement: The narrator is working a pizza delivery gig when an old woman calls in a large plain pizza. She's courteous on the phone and seems to flirt with him. When the narrator gets to the old lady's apartment, he's surprised that a 75-year old woman is acting sultry and trying to seduce him. At this point, he's petrified and amused at what's happening. The old woman then plops a $20 bill in his palm and doesn't let go of his hand as she hustles him out the door. The narrator nearly ran outside when the woman calls out from behind him that next time, she'll order the sausage pizza. The shocked pizza guy drives back to the restaurant and a laughing boss who knows the deal with the old lady, asking the narrator if she ordered "the extra sausage".

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize the narrator's relationship with their boss.

answer: The boss dislikes the narrator's tips but he swore there was a good one coming since she will be asking for sausage. They seem to have a good relationship, but that's because they know one another.

text: "The boss dislikes the narrator's tips but he swore there was a good one coming since she will be asking for sausage." - This is incorrect. The boss doesn't mention anything about the narrator's tips at all. The sausage reference also doesn't fit.

refinement: They seem to have a good relationship, but that's because they know one another.

text: ", but that's because they know one another" - of course they know one another - the narrator works for the boss. This should be removed.

text: "They seem to have a good relationship." - more details can be added to establish the relationship (if any) between the narrator and his boss.

refinement: The narrator has only been working at the pizza place for two weeks, but it seems he has a good relationship with his boss. They even share a laugh about the old lady's antics.

answer: The narrator and their boss generally get along well and have a good working relationship. The boss valued the narrator's input and tended to trust their judgement.

text: The narrator is male.

refinement: The narrator and his boss generally get along well and have a good working relationship. The boss valued the narrator's input and tended to trust their judgement.

text: "The boss valued the narrator's input and tended to trust their judgement." - this is inaccurate because the narrator's input or judgment was never mentioned anywhere in the story. This should be removed.

refinement: The narrator and his boss generally get along well and have a good working relationship.

answer: The narrator's boss was the owner of a small town pizza place. He became a fixture in the neighborhood and knew everyone in the neighborhood. The narrator and their boss seems to have a good relationship despite the narrator only working there a few weeks. The boss teases the narrator after they return from their delivery.

text: "The narrator's boss was the owner of a small town pizza place. He became a fixture in the neighborhood and knew everyone in the neighborhood." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

refinement: The narrator and their boss seems to have a good relationship despite the narrator only working there a few weeks. The boss teases the narrator after they return from their delivery.

text: The narrator is male because the old lady addressed him as "sir".

refinement: The narrator and his boss seem to have a good relationship despite the narrator only working there a few weeks. The boss teases the narrator after he returns from his delivery.

answer: The narrator doesn't seem to have much of a relationship with the boss. They are colleagues and the old woman seems to understand the aspect of their work because she calls him sweetheart and seems to order him around a lot.

text: "They are colleagues and the old woman seems to understand the aspect of their work because she calls him sweetheart and seems to order him around a lot." - this is incorrect. The old lady doesn't order anyone around a lot and she is irrelevant to the relationship between the narrator and his boss. This should be removed.

refinement: The narrator doesn't seem to have much of a relationship with the boss.

answer: The narrator's boss is a figure of importance in their work because he is their boss, but he also provides comic relief in moments of crisis like the one described in the passage. The boss recognizes the situation quickly and helps the narrator make sense of it by asking them about the situation, and laughing with a mix of incredulity and amusement.

text: The response doesn't really answer the question.

refinement: The narrator appears to have a good relationship with his boss. Although the narrator has only been working at the pizza place for two weeks, he knows a lot about his boss' history and his boss is cool with joking around with the narrator.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize the narrator's job in the pizzeria.

answer: The narrator is a pizza delivery person for the restaurant. It is their job to pick up an order from a customer and bring it to their address.

text: The narrator is male as stated in the title and how the old lady addressed him (sir).

refinement: The narrator is a pizza delivery guy for the restaurant. It is his job to pick up an order from a customer and bring it to their address.

text: "to pick up an order from a customer" - this is incorrect. The pizza guy doesn't pick up orders from customers, he takes orders on the phone and delivers the pizzas.

refinement: The narrator is a pizza delivery guy for the restaurant. It is his job to take pizza orders on the phone and deliver them to the customers' addresses.

answer: At the time of this story, the narrator had been working at the pizza place for two weeks. They already remembered the script for phone orders, and were catching on to how things worked. The narrator seemed to be responsible for taking phone orders, deliveries, submitting orders, and serving customers in the restaurant.

text: Replace "They" with "He" because the narrator is male.

refinement: At the time of this story, the narrator had been working at the pizza place for two weeks. He already remembered the script for phone orders, and were catching on to how things worked. The narrator seemed to be responsible for taking phone orders, deliveries, submitting orders, and serving customers in the restaurant.

text: Remove the comma on "orders" and replace "were" with "was"

refinement: At the time of this story, the narrator had been working at the pizza place for two weeks. He already remembered the script for phone orders and was catching on to how things worked. The narrator seemed to be responsible for taking phone orders, deliveries, submitting orders, and serving customers in the restaurant.

text: "At the time of this story, the narrator had been working at the pizza place for two weeks. He already remembered the script for phone orders and was catching on to how things worked." - extraneous information that can be removed.

refinement: The narrator seemed to be responsible for taking phone orders, deliveries, submitting orders, and serving customers in the restaurant.

answer: The narrator works with the pizza for about two weeks when the phone rings. He answers the call and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later the narrator goes to deliver the pizza. He feels that the woman is sizing him up and she jokes about a sausage pizza.

text: The response failed to answer the question. It reads more like a summary of the plot, not the narrator's job. A full rewrite is needed.

refinement: The narrator's job in the pizzeria is taking orders from customers both on the phone and in the restaurant. He submits the orders to his boss in the kitchen and helps serve the customers. The narrator is also in charge of pizza deliveries.

answer: The narrator is a pizza delivery driver who takes orders over the phone. One order leads to an unsettling experience with an older woman, who seems interested in more than just the pizza. The woman pushes the narrator backwards, pressing her hands on his chest, and suggests she might order the "sausage pizza" next time. The narrator later realizes the woman was flirting with him.

text: Extraneous information that should be removed.

refinement: The narrator is a pizza delivery driver who takes orders over the phone.

answer: At first he is delivering pizza from the pizzeria.

text: "At first" - doesn't make any sense and should be deleted.

refinement: He is delivering pizza from the pizzeria.

text: "He is delivering" - change to "He delivers"

text: The response is lacking a few details about the narrator's job.

refinement: He delivers pizza from the pizzeria. The narrator also takes orders and serves customers in the restaurant.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize the narrator's encounter with the old woman.

answer: The narrator received a phone order of a plain pizza from an old woman and drove to her address. The old woman caught the narrator by surprise when she opened the door, smoking and in her robe. She asked for the pizza to be accompanied with sausage, and when the narrator left with the pizza, she followed him and pushed him out of the door. The narrator was shocked by how aggressive she was toward him, and his boss found the whole encounter hilarious.

text: "She asked for the pizza to be accompanied with sausage, and when the narrator left with the pizza, she followed him and pushed him out of the door." - the events of the story didn't happen this way. The sausage reference happened after the narrator got paid, and he never left with the pizza he just delivered.

refinement: The narrator received a phone order of a plain pizza from an old woman and drove to her address. The old woman caught the narrator by surprise when she opened the door, smoking and in her robe. She was trying to sound sultry and was clearly flirting with the narrator to the point of seduction. The old lady wouldn't let go of the narrator's hand when she gave him payment for the pizza, backing him up towards the door. Petrified, the narrator ran outside, only to be followed by the old woman, who told him that she'll order the sausage pizza next time. She winked at the narrator and slammed the door. The narrator was shocked by how aggressive she was toward him, and his boss found the whole encounter hilarious.

text: "by how aggressive she was toward him," - there was no mention of the old lady being aggressive towards the narrator. This should be revised.

refinement: The narrator received a phone order of a plain pizza from an old woman and drove to her address. The old woman caught the narrator by surprise when she opened the door, smoking and in her robe. She was trying to sound sultry and was clearly flirting with the narrator to the point of seduction. The old lady wouldn't let go of the narrator's hand when she gave him payment for the pizza, backing him up towards the door. Petrified, the narrator ran outside, only to be followed by the old woman, who told him that she'll order the sausage pizza next time. She winked at the narrator and slammed the door. The narrator was shocked by the old lady's actions, and his boss found the whole encounter hilarious.

answer: The narrator answered the woman's call to order a plain pizza. Upon arriving at the apartment and ringing the doorbell, the narrator was hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke coming from the woman. The woman pushed the narrator back, sexually propositioning him and instructing him to bring a sausage pizza next time he makes a delivery. The narrator was caught between feeling terrified and amused by the encounter.

text: "The woman" is incorrect. Change to "old woman"

refinement: The narrator answered the old woman's call to order a plain pizza. Upon arriving at the apartment and ringing the doorbell, the narrator was hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke coming from the old woman. The old woman pushed the narrator back, sexually propositioning him and instructing him to bring a sausage pizza next time he makes a delivery. The narrator was caught between feeling terrified and amused by the encounter.

text: "The narrator answered the old woman's call to order a plain pizza." - the sentence structure is confusing and can be improved.

refinement: The narrator works at a pizza restaurant and he took the order of an old woman. Upon arriving at the apartment and ringing the doorbell, the narrator was hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke coming from the old woman. The old woman pushed the narrator back, sexually propositioning him and instructing him to bring a sausage pizza next time he makes a delivery. The narrator was caught between feeling terrified and amused by the encounter.

text: "The old woman pushed the narrator back, sexually propositioning him and instructing him to bring a sausage pizza next time he makes a delivery." - the events described are inaccurate.

refinement: The narrator works at a pizza restaurant and he took the order of an old woman. Upon arriving at the apartment and ringing the doorbell, the narrator was hit with a strong smell of cigarette smoke coming from the old woman. The old woman, 75 years old and dressed in a blue robe, was trying to sound sultry and clearly flirting with the narrator. Her actions were intimidating despite her 5'4" frame, and the narrator was petrified when she refused to let go of his hand after she paid him for the pizza. The old woman pushed the narrator back the door and he nearly ran outside. The old woman then said that she would order the sausage pizza next time, winked at the narrator, and shut the door. The narrator was caught between feeling terrified and amused by the encounter.

answer: The narrator answers the phone and takes an old woman's order. During their exchange on the phone he gets the impression that she's a friendly old woman. Then the woman at the door talks in the same way and also reprimands him for forgetting something. He brushes it off again. However it turns out that she's not just friendly but was pretending to flirt with him so that she could embarrass him. She asks him to leave the pizza and then reveals to him that she was just being friendly to him but that it won't work again. The narrator assumed it was just the usual banter that happens on these deliveries while in fact she lured him there and humiliated him.

text: Add a comma to "phone" and "However"

refinement: The narrator answers the phone and takes an old woman's order. During their exchange on the phone, he gets the impression that she's a friendly old woman. Then the woman at the door talks in the same way and also reprimands him for forgetting something. He brushes it off again. However, it turns out that she's not just friendly but was pretending to flirt with him so that she could embarrass him. She asks him to leave the pizza and then reveals to him that she was just being friendly to him but that it won't work again. The narrator assumed it was just the usual banter that happens on these deliveries while in fact she lured him there and humiliated him.

text: The highlighted text is incorrect and never happened.

refinement: The narrator answers the phone and takes an old woman's order. During their exchange on the phone, he gets the impression that she's a friendly old woman.

text: "The narrator answers the phone and takes an old woman's order." - this part is vague and must include that the narrator works in a pizzeria.

refinement: The narrator, who works in a pizza restaurant, answers the phone and takes an old woman's order. During their exchange on the phone, he gets the impression that she's a friendly old woman.

text: The response is missing important details about the encounter.

refinement: The narrator, who works in a pizza restaurant, answers the phone and takes an old woman's order. During their exchange on the phone, he gets the impression that she's a friendly old woman. The narrator was in for a surprise when he delivers the pizza because the old lady was acting sultry and flirting with him. She told the narrator that she'll order the sausage pizza next time.

answer: The narrator got a call from an older lady ordering a single large plain pizza for delivery. He reaches her house and the woman opens the door for him. Surprised by her inappropriate gestures and language, he apprehends the woman is a creep. He asks her if he may have a tip, which she refuses. She closes the door, having tipped him $20.

answer: The old woman calls to order a pizza and the narrator answers. She sounds scratchy on the phone, and calls the narrator "sweetheart." When the narrator gets there, she was trying to be sultry with the narrator. She invited him in and used any excuse for physical contact. The narrator is disturbed and quickly leaves. As the narrator leaves, the old woman says that next time she'll "have to order the sausage pizza."


text:
A report on ICS security released today by Kaspersky Lab reveals how dire the situation really is.

We live in an increasingly connected world, but even in an age when DDoS attacks can take entire airlines offline, many critically sensitive industrial control systems (ICS) are still connected to the internet.

A pair of reports released today by Kaspersky Lab reveal how dire the situation really is. In a scan, it found nearly every industrial control system that’s connected to the internet suffers from remotely exploitable vulnerabilities and is vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks.

According to a review of publicly accessible ICS hosts, a staggering 91.1 percent likely belong to large organizations and have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely; 3.3 percent of the hosts contain remotely exploitable vulnerabilities that are considered critical.

One report, “Industrial Control Systems Vulnerabilities Statistics,” carried out by the company’s Security Services team, takes a comprehensive look at industrial control system security throughout the 2015 calendar year, breaking down all 189 ICS vulnerabilities dug up in 2015. While it may seem like there’s been an influx of ICS bugs over the last 12 months, the figure is actually more or less in line with statistics from the last few years and comes in just three bugs fewer than the all time high of 192 discovered in 2012.

The number 189 vulnerabilities does mark a tenfold increase from 2010 however, when only 19 vulnerabilities were identified.

[Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 7.11.19 AM]

_ICS Vulnerabilities Through The Years_

In another report, “Industrial Control Systems and Their Online Availability,” Kaspersky Lab discovered 188,019 hosts with ICS components, spread across 170 countries. Researchers at the firm deduced that 13,698 of those hosts likely belong to large organizations; stressing that in many instances, the corporations may be responsible for regulating energy, aerospace, oil, gas, chemical, or other industries.

Networking devices were the most popular type of ICS component Kaspersky found connected to the internet, followed up by PLCs, or programmable logic controllers, and SCADA, or supervisory control and data acquisition, systems.

As far as vendors go, products from Siemens, Schneider Electric, and Hospira were the biggest culprits last year, the report claims, with each responsible for 33, 18, and 12 vulnerabilities, respectively.

Siemens and Schneider Electric regularly appear on the Industrial Control Systems Cyber Emergency Response Team’s (ICS-CERT) list of advisories. In one instance last year – as the report notes – Siemens had to patch an authentication bypass vulnerability that plagued small telecontrol systems made by the company called SICAM MIC devices. An attacker could’ve obtained administrative access to the devices through HTTP requests.

Schneider meanwhile was forced to patch multiple vulnerabilities, including a locally exploitable flaw, and a hard-coded credential, in its software, following a disclosure at DEFCON last summer.

Hospira made history last summer after its Lifecare PCA3 drug infusion pumps were found susceptible to multiple vulnerabilities. The flaws, which were largely uncovered by security researcher Billy Rios and Jeremy Richards, prompted the Food and Drug Administration to issue a public safety notification, the first of its kind, warning hospitals to stay away from the devices.

Kaspersky found that a whopping 91.6 percent of the externally available ICS devices it discovered used inherently insecure protocols like Telnet and SNMP. The lion’s share of those devices, 116,900 in total, used HTTP, something that could allow an attacker to compromise the devices, potentially through a man-in-the-middle attack.

The company performed its research using a fingerprint knowledge base of 2,000 records, something which allowed it to identify select ICS vendors and versions in ICS search engines such as Shodan and Censys. It also used a combination of open source intelligence and information from ICS-CERT, the NVD/CVE database, and other sites.

For anyone looking for a silver lining to the report, one of the more positive figures comes to the forefront if you only take ICS-CERT data into account: vendors fixed 85 percent of published vulnerabilities last year. Five percent of vulnerabilities, 19 vulns in total – 14 that are high risk – were never patched in 2015 however. The remaining 10 percent includes vulnerabilities that were either partially fixed, or left unpatched simply because the product was deemed obsolete.

[Screen Shot 2016-07-11 at 7.11.59 AM]

_ICS Vulnerabilities in 2015_

While it’s scary enough that some of the vulnerabilities from last year never got fixed, stories about factories, power plants, airlines, and other industrial systems being taken offline due to new vulnerabilities continue to command headlines in 2016.

Earlier this year a man associated with the Iranian government was indicted after being accused of hacking into the SCADA systems of a small dam in Rye, New York. The man was able to monitor water temperature, water levels, and more data pertaining to the dam. He reportedly would’ve even been able to control a gate in the dam, had it not already been disconnected for maintenance.

Polish planes at Warsaw’s Chopin Airport were grounded for a weekend last June after an airline there was hit by a DDoS attack. Earlier this year a cyber attack – ultimately fingered as the BlackEnergy1 APT – struck Western Ukraine power company Prykarpattyaoblenergo leaving hundreds of thousands of residents in the Ivano-Frankivisk region of the country in the dark.

A report from IBM just two weeks ago revealed from last March to this May, denial of service attacks and malicious attachments accounted for nearly 50 percent of attacks against the control networks of planes, trains, trucks, and ships.

“We are seeing this industry emerging as high-value target right alongside healthcare, manufacturing, financial services and government,” Michelle Alvarez, a researcher with IBM told Threatpost at the time.

The numbers in today’s Kaspersky Lab report echo those sentiments.

“Our research shows that the larger the ICS infrastructure, the bigger the chance that it will have severe security holes,” Andrey Suvorov, Head of Critical Infrastructure Protection at Kaspersky Lab said of ICS security.

“This is not the fault of a single software or hardware vendor. By its very nature, the ICS environment is a mix of different interconnected components, many of which are connected to the Internet and contain security issues,” Suvarov said.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the text say about today's situation with the ICS?

answer: The people in the Industry Control System work see themselves as the next cyber security target. Ever since the researchers and researchers were able to remotely hack into small dams, oil facilities and power transformer stations, the people in ICS look forward to similar targeting. These platforms are very vulnerable to cyber threats and few seem to have taken measures to improve the situation.

text: The people at Kaspersky Lab see the industrial control systems (ICS) as the next big target, not people in the ICS sector. The sector's name is misspelled too.

refinement: The people in the Kaspersky Lab see the industrial control systems (ICS) sector as the next cyber security target. Ever since the researchers and researchers were able to remotely hack into small dams, oil facilities and power transformer stations, the people in ICS look forward to similar targeting. These platforms are very vulnerable to cyber threats and few seem to have taken measures to improve the situation.

text: "Ever since the researchers and researchers were able to remotely hack into small dams, oil facilities and power transformer stations, the people in ICS look forward to similar targeting." This sentence contains repetitive wording and accuracy issues. The hacks into dams and power stations weren't done by researchers. The article doesn't mention an attack at oil facilities. It should be replaced with a sentence talking about the major attacks that happened against the dam and the power station.

refinement: The people in the Kaspersky Lab see the industrial control systems (ICS) sector as the next cyber security target. In early 2016, a man associated with the Iranian government was accused of having into a small dam in New York, and planes in Warsaw were grounded for a weekend the previous June after a DDoS attack. These platforms are very vulnerable to cyber threats and few seem to have taken measures to improve the situation.

text: While the mentioned platforms are vulnerable, there are measures taken. The answer should mention the vulnerabilities and the measures taken against them.

refinement: The people in the Kaspersky Lab see the industrial control systems (ICS) sector as the next cyber security target. In early 2016, a man associated with the Iranian government was accused of having into a small dam in New York, and planes in Warsaw were grounded for a weekend the previous June after a DDoS attack. More than 90% of ICS hosts are thought to have remotely exploitable vulnerabilities, and one report mentions that there were 189 vulnerabilities found in 2015. The Industrial Control Systems Cyber Emergency Response Team (ICS-CERT) has a few of the largest hosts as advisor members, and the organization reports that 85% of the vulnerabilities published the previous year were fixed. However, of the remaining 19, 14 are considered high-risk.

answer: Kaspersky Lab reveals that many companies making use of industrial control systems are still connected to the internet. This makes them vulnerable to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely.

text: The main issue isn't that companies using ICS are connected to the internet, it's that their internet-facing equipment is vulnerable to hacks with fundamentally insecure protocols.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab reveals that many companies making use of industrial control systems are using inherently insecure protocols in their internet-facing equipment. This makes them vulnerable to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely.

text: The answer should include more information about recent high-profile hacks.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab reveals that many companies making use of industrial control systems are using inherently insecure protocols in their internet-facing equipment. This makes them vulnerable to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. Hospira's drug infusion pumps were found susceptible to vulnerabilities, prompting a public safety warning from the FDA. Earlier in 2016, an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a dam, and last June, a DDoS attack on a Polish airline grounded its planes for a weekend.

text: The answer should mention the measures taken against vulnerabilities.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab reveals that many companies making use of industrial control systems are using inherently insecure protocols in their internet-facing equipment. This makes them vulnerable to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. Hospira's drug infusion pumps were found susceptible to vulnerabilities, prompting a public safety warning from the FDA. Earlier in 2016, an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a dam, and last June, a DDoS attack on a Polish airline grounded its planes for a weekend. Many ICS vendors are part of the ICS Cyber Emergency Response Team, and they report that 85% of the vulnerabilities were fixed the previous year - however, 14 of the remaining 19 were high-risk.

answer: Eric Knappenborg stated that, "We live in an age when DDoS attacks can take entire airlines offline, but many critical ICS are still connected to the internet.". Developers behind cybersecurity are understaffed with new threats, as more cyber attacks are issued into the market, by schemes, instead of being driven by the lack of hazardous security protocols and password. Concepts such as being hacked have become common and airdefenses have been established. Secret committees have assessed cyberattacks, while utility companies and software vendors have improved their own cybersecurity measures. IBM also conducted a study investigating the scale, impact and frequency of cyberattacks and their methodologies, coming up with a bleak picture of today's industrial IoT.

text: Almost all of the answer is made up. It should be re-written entirely.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab reveals that many companies making use of industrial control systems are using inherently insecure protocols in their internet-facing equipment. This makes them vulnerable to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. Hospira's drug infusion pumps were found susceptible to vulnerabilities, prompting a public safety warning from the FDA. Earlier in 2016, an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a dam, and last June, a DDoS attack on a Polish airline grounded its planes for a weekend. Many ICS vendors are part of the ICS Cyber Emergency Response Team, and they report that 85% of the vulnerabilities were fixed the previous year - however, 14 of the remaining 19 were high-risk.

answer: The text indicates that ICS are still surprisingly connected to the internet despite their vulnerability to remote exploits. ICS components are also commonly found linked to inherently insecure protocols and there are a high number of vulnerabilities that have not been patched. It is scary that these flaws could lead to catastrophic consequences.

text: The connectedness of the ICS devices isn't surprising - their lacking security is.

refinement: The text indicates that internet-connected ICS are surprisingly vulnerable, enabling remote exploitation. ICS components are also commonly found linked to inherently insecure protocols and there are a high number of vulnerabilities that have not been patched. It is scary that these flaws could lead to catastrophic consequences.

text: The first use of "ICS" should come after a non-abbreviated use.

refinement: The text indicates that internet-connected industrial control systems (ICS) are surprisingly vulnerable, enabling remote exploitation. ICS components are also commonly found linked to inherently insecure protocols and there are a high number of vulnerabilities that have not been patched. It is scary that these flaws could lead to catastrophic consequences.

text: The answer should mention a few of the high-profile hacks against ICS infrastructure.

refinement: The text indicates that internet-connected industrial control systems (ICS) are surprisingly vulnerable, enabling remote exploitation. ICS components are also commonly found linked to inherently insecure protocols and there are a high number of vulnerabilities that have not been patched. It is scary that these flaws could lead to catastrophic consequences - in one instance an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a New York dam earlier in 2016 while a Polish airline's planes were grounded for a weekend after a DDoS attack last year.

text: The answer should mention the measures taken against vulnerabilities.

refinement: The text indicates that internet-connected industrial control systems (ICS) are surprisingly vulnerable, enabling remote exploitation. ICS components are also commonly found linked to inherently insecure protocols and there are a high number of vulnerabilities that have not been patched. It is scary that these flaws could lead to catastrophic consequences - in one instance an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a New York dam earlier in 2016 while a Polish airline's planes were grounded for a weekend after a DDoS attack last year. Many ICS vendors are part of the ICS Cyber Emergency Response Team, and they report that 85% of the vulnerabilities were fixed the previous year - however, 14 of the remaining 19 were high-risk.

answer: According to the text, 91% of ICS systems are vulnerable to remotely exploitable vulnerabilities with many of the systems belonging to large organizations. Therefore, the overall security situation with ICS is dire.

text: The answer should mention the vulnerabilities and the measures taken against them.

refinement: According to the text, 91% of ICS systems are vulnerable to remotely exploitable vulnerabilities with many of the systems belonging to large organizations. Therefore, the overall security situation with ICS is dire. One report mentions that there were 189 vulnerabilities found in 2015. The Industrial Control Systems Cyber Emergency Response Team (ICS-CERT) has a few of the largest hosts as advisor members, and the organization reports that 85% of the vulnerabilities published the previous year were fixed. However, of the remaining 19, 14 are considered high-risk.

text: The answer should mention the highest-profile cases.

refinement: According to the text, 91% of ICS systems are vulnerable to remotely exploitable vulnerabilities with many of the systems belonging to large organizations. Therefore, the overall security situation with ICS is dire. One report mentions that there were 189 vulnerabilities found in 2015. The Industrial Control Systems Cyber Emergency Response Team (ICS-CERT) has a few of the largest hosts as advisor members, and the organization reports that 85% of the vulnerabilities published the previous year were fixed. However, of the remaining 19, 14 are considered high-risk. In one instance an Iranian man was indicted of hacking into a New York dam earlier in 2016 while a Polish airline's planes were grounded for a weekend after a DDoS attack last year.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the text say about companies that use ICS?

answer: According to Kaspersky Lab, companies that use ICS that are connected to the internet are most likely to expose themselves to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely.

text: The answer should mention the sectors the companies hail from to present how widespread the companies that use ICS are.

refinement: According to Kaspersky Lab, companies that use ICS that are connected to the internet are most likely to expose themselves to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. These companies come from various sectors, including manufacturing, healthcare, financial services, and government.

text: Two companies faced troubling attacks, the answer should mention them for the sake of completeness.

refinement: According to Kaspersky Lab, companies that use ICS that are connected to the internet are most likely to expose themselves to attacks. According to a review, a staggering 91.1% likely belong to organizations that have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. These companies come from various sectors, including manufacturing, healthcare, financial services, and government. Two of the most troubling cases are the dam in New York, which was hacked by an Iranian man, and an aerospace company whose planes had to be grounded in Warsaw after a DDoS attack.

answer: Cybersecurity firm Kaspersky's research found that a whopping 91.6 percent of externally available ICS devices use inherently insecure protocols like Telnet and SNMP. The lion's share of those devices, 116,900 in total, used HTTP, something that could allow an attacker to compromise the devices, potentially through a man-in-the-middle attack.

text: The answer says nothing about the companies that use ICS. It should be scrapped. A new answer can start with mentioning how widespread the use of ICS is.

refinement: Almost 190,000 companies over the world use ICS components, hailing from over 170 countries. They span various sectors, like manufacturing, healthcare, government, and financial services.

text: The answer should mention the two high-profile cases of ICS hacks.

refinement: Almost 190,000 companies over the world use ICS components, hailing from over 170 countries. They span various sectors, like manufacturing, healthcare, government, and financial services. Two of the highest stake examples are a dam in New York, hacked by an Iranian man, and an airline. The latter's situation forced Polish planes at Warsaw's Chopin Airport to be grounded for a weekend.

answer: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of large corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP, pushing the number of devices vulnerable to a potential man-in-middle attack to a whopping 69,000. Its report on industrial control systems listed the three major ICS vendors at fault as Siemens (33 vulnerabilities in 2015), Schneider Electric (18), and Hospira (12). Siemens and Schneider Electric have both suffered high-blown security vulnerabilities that had to be patched this year, while Hospital suffered a recent safety warning by the US Food and Drug Administration.

text: The question asks about companies using ICS, not ICS vendors. Vendor-related content should be scrapped.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of large corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP, pushing the number of devices vulnerable to a potential man-in-middle attack to a whopping 69,000.

text: The 188,019 companies mentioned in the Kaspersky report aren't all large corporations.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP, pushing the number of devices vulnerable to a potential man-in-middle attack to a whopping 69,000.

text: The article doesn't say there are 69,000 systems vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks. It says 116,900 that use HTTP are vulnerable to such attacks.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP. A majority of devices, 116,900 of them to be exact, use HTTP, which is vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks.

text: The answer should mention how diverse the companies that use ICS are.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP. A majority of devices, 116,900 of them to be exact, use HTTP, which is vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks. The companies using ICS are from many different sectors, like energy, aerospace, manufacturing, government, etc.

text: The answer should mention the two high-profile cases of ICS hacks.

refinement: Kaspersky Lab searched for those companies and found that a whopping 91.6% of a staggering 188,019 internet-connected ICS devices used by networks of corporations likely use insecure authentication protocols like Telnet and SNMP. A majority of devices, 116,900 of them to be exact, use HTTP, which is vulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks. The companies using ICS are from many different sectors, like energy, aerospace, manufacturing, government, etc. Two of the highest stake examples are a dam in New York, hacked by an Iranian man, and an airline. The latter's situation forced Polish planes at Warsaw's Chopin Airport to be grounded for a weekend.

answer: Based on the text, companies that use ICS are likely responsible for industries like power, aerospace, oil, gas, chemical, or other fields. They also likely have ICS components connected to the internet that are vulnerable to exploitation. Additionally, the report found that a significant percentage of ICS devices connected to the internet uses inherently insecure protocols, further increasing their susceptibility to cyber attack.

text: Two companies faced troubling attacks, the answer should mention them for the sake of completeness.

refinement: Based on the text, companies that use ICS are likely responsible for industries like power, aerospace, oil, gas, chemical, or other fields. They also likely have ICS components connected to the internet that are vulnerable to exploitation. Additionally, the report found that a significant percentage of ICS devices connected to the internet uses inherently insecure protocols, further increasing their susceptibility to cyber attack. Two of the most troubling cases are the dam in New York, which was hacked by an Iranian man, and an aerospace company whose planes had to be grounded in Warsaw after a DDoS attack.

answer: According to the text, a large percentage of ICS components used by large organizations likely have remotely exploitable vulnerabilities.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the text say about ICS vulnerabilities through the years?

answer: According to a review of publicly accessible ICS hosts, a staggering 91.1 percent likely belong to large organizations and have vulnerabilities that can be exploited remotely. The figure is nearly ten times the 19 in 2010 and the about the same as the 192 of 2012. The 65 bugs in 2014 were nearly as many as the 76 of 2010. There is a noticeable increase.

text: The sentence about most ICS hosts being large corporations is irrelevant to the question. It should be deleted.

refinement: The figure is nearly ten times the 19 in 2010 and the about the same as the 192 of 2012. The 65 bugs in 2014 were nearly as many as the 76 of 2010. There is a noticeable increase.

text: The article doesn't mention the number of bugs found in 2014. The answer also cites a made-up number for 2010 despite using the correct number in the previous sentence. The sentence containing fake numbers should be removed.

refinement: The figure is nearly ten times the 19 in 2010 and the about the same as the 192 of 2012. There is a noticeable increase.

text: "The figure is nearly ten times the 19 in 2010 and the about the same as the 192 of 2012." The sentence is constructed awkwardly, it should more clearly express that the number of bugs found increased ten-fold from 2010 to 2012 and stands at a similar number in 2015.

refinement: The number of vulnerabilities found in 2015, 189, is nearly 10 times that of 2010 and almost the same as 192 of 2012. There is a noticeable increase.

text: The answer should mention that most of the vulnerabilities found in 2015 were fixed, but the remaining ones were mostly high-risk.

refinement: The number of vulnerabilities found in 2015, 189, is nearly 10 times that of 2010 and almost the same as 192 of 2012. There is a noticeable increase. 85% of the vulnerabilities found in 2015 were fixed; however, 14 of the remaining 19 are high-risk.

answer: According to the text, the number of ICS vulnerabilities found in 2015 is about three fewer than the all-time high in 2012. In general, there has been a 10-fold increase in vulnerabilities since 2010. The majority of vulnerable ICS systems are accessed through inherently insecure protocols like Telnet and SNMP, and most of these systems are found on large organizations' networks. Despite these vulnerabilities, 85 percent of these vulnerabilities have been fixed by vendors within the year. Nevertheless, there remain 19 high-risk vulnerabilities that have not yet been fully addressed.

text: Where do the vulnerabilities reside and how are irrelevant factors for this question. The related sentence should be removed.

refinement: According to the text, the number of ICS vulnerabilities found in 2015 is about three fewer than the all-time high in 2012. In general, there has been a 10-fold increase in vulnerabilities since 2010. Despite these vulnerabilities, 85 percent of these vulnerabilities have been fixed by vendors within the year. Nevertheless, there remain 19 high-risk vulnerabilities that have not yet been fully addressed.

text: Only 14 of the 19 remaining vulnerabilities are high-risk. The rest were either partially fixed or unfixed because the product is obsolete.

refinement: According to the text, the number of ICS vulnerabilities found in 2015 is about three fewer than the all-time high in 2012. In general, there has been a 10-fold increase in vulnerabilities since 2010. Despite these vulnerabilities, 85 percent of these vulnerabilities have been fixed by vendors within the year. Nevertheless, there remain 14 high-risk vulnerabilities that have not yet been fully addressed. The rest were either partially fixed or unfixed because the product is obsolete.

answer: The number of vulnerabilities dug up in 2015 isn't higher than the number of vulnerabilities discovered in the previous year. In 2015, 189 vulnerabilities were found and there were 190 vulnerabilities in 2014. This data makes sense considering that older vulnerabilities were uncovered every year. The 2010 data demonstrates their rarity, though. 19 vulnerabilities were found that year.

text: Almost everything in the answer is incorrect. It should be re-written completely.

refinement: The number of vulnerabilities discovered in 2015 is 189, three short of the record set in 2012. That is almost 10 times the amount uncovered in 2010, so the increase is rather stark. However, 85% of the vulnerabilities were fixed in 2015, but 14 of the remaining 19 are high-risk.

answer: Networking devices were the most popular type of ICS component Kaspersky found connected to the internet. This was later followed up by PLCs and SCADA systems.

answer: ICS vulnerabilities have increased over the years, but most of them were patched by vendors. 19 vulnerabilities from last year were never patched, despite the patching rate being 85%. Attacks targeting ICS systems and infrastructure have been on the rise.

text: Instead of just saying the vulnerabilities increased, the answer should quote figures to outline how the increase happened and when.

refinement: ICS vulnerabilities have increased tenfold from 19 in 2010 to 192 in 2012, and the number in 2015 was 189, but most of them were patched by vendors. 19 vulnerabilities from last year were never patched, despite the patching rate being 85%. Attacks targeting ICS systems and infrastructure have been on the rise.

text: The answer should be clearer about how many of the vulnerabilities were patched and that they were the ones from 2015.

refinement: ICS vulnerabilities have increased tenfold from 19 in 2010 to 192 in 2012, and the number in 2015 was 189. While most of them were patched by vendors, 19 vulnerabilities from 2015 were never patched. Attacks targeting ICS systems and infrastructure have been on the rise.

text: The number of attacks is out of scope for this question.

refinement: ICS vulnerabilities have increased tenfold from 19 in 2010 to 192 in 2012, and the number in 2015 was 189. While most of them were patched by vendors, 19 vulnerabilities from 2015 were never patched.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the text say about the ICS environment?

answer: The ICS environment is a mix of different interconnected components, many of which are connected to the internet, and they contain security issues.

text: The answer should give more detail regarding what the security issues are, how widespread they are, etc.

refinement: The ICS environment is a mix of different interconnected components, many of which are connected to the internet, and they contain security issues. About 91% belong to large corporations, with 3.3% containing critical vulnerabilities. ICS hosts span 170 countries, numbering at 190,000 almost. The most popular internet-connected devices are networking equipment, PLCs, and SCADAs. More than 90% of them use insecure protocols, often HTTP.

answer: According to Suvarov, the ICS environment is a mix of different interconnected components, many of which are connected to the internet and contain security issues.

answer: IC environments are not as robust because they include various interconnected components and many of them also have security issues.

answer: The text indicates that ICS environments are composed of interconnected components that contain security issues.

answer: The text indicates that ICS environments are a mixture of interconnected components, many of which are connected to the internet and therefore contain security issues.


text:
The last two days had been very strange for me. I killed a man on a psycho’s lawn, and the next day, the psycho came into my office and asked if I would like to eat lunch with him. He seemed to be acting perfectly normal. I noticed his speech pattern had changed as well. He wasn’t saying “ya” or swearing anymore. Something was off. Or maybe Noah had just realized how messed what we had done was.
I put it out of my mind, and started to enjoy myself. Noah was actually very intelligent and funny. He must have been intelligent from the start, I concluded, he is a lawyer after all. He was probably just drunk for the last week. I chuckled at the thought.
We finished up our lunch, and headed out to my car. Noah said he had left his phone at my office, so I offered to take him there before I took him home. He thanked me in an uncharacteristically gratuitous way. However, I didn’t sense anything was amiss, and we got in.
Big mistake. The minute I got in the car, Noah pulled out what looked like an ingot, and bashed me across the head with it.
I woke up in a small, cramped room that I recognized as the interior of Noah’s shed.
“Took you long enough,” said Noah in a cold voice. “What the fuck?” I demanded.
“I can’t have another murderer taking advantage of Noah, now can I,” he said in that cold voice, “No, I’m going to have to kill you I suppose.”
“What? No! Noah, you don’t have to do this. I’m not going to tell anybody, you can let me go.” I knew he wasn’t going to.
“Noah’s not here right now. If you’d like to leave a message, please don’t. I screen his calls.”
Noah had finally snapped. The bastard was crazy.
I tried to reason with him, “C’mon Noah. You know you don’t have to do this!”
“I TOLD YOU I’M NOT NOAH!”
“If you’re not Noah, who are you then?”
“BELLUA.”
No. It couldn’t be. Noah had talked about Bellua so much, but always acted as Bellua was a friend or something. I finally put the pieces together.
“Yes, I can see the truth has finally dawned on you,” Noah/Bellua drawled, “Frankly, I don’t see how an idiot like you became a neurosurgeon. Let me explain it to you. I’m the original Noah. The Noah you know is simply a second personality of mine. Noah was born after I was caught in an explosion. That’s why he is so fixated on fire. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, but now that I have the Other Noah, it is so much easier for me to cleanse this disgusting society. The Other Noah agrees. He doesn’t have my capacity, so he uses fire as his tool. It’s crude but it works. Why, just recently he managed to rid society of a bartender who was a serial rapist. I’m much more dedicated however. I take out the real sickos. Like you. And Other Noah will dispose of your body. You pretend to kill only bad people, but what about the little girl who you kidnapped and did unspeakable things to? What about the man you decapitated for fun? ANSWER ME? Why’d did you do it? Did you have any reason? NO! I may be a monster, but I know that! People like you, who pretend to be infallible, make me sick!”
My cheeks were so cold. I couldn’t believe it. How did he know all this?
I knew I was going to die. I began to say an Our Father.
“YES. This reaction. I love it!” Noah/Bellua bellowed, “The ‘prayer,’ as if pretending to repent to an entity you’ve never believed in will make it all better. Using religion as a fair-weather friendship with God, I love it! But why bother praying to God now? I control your life now: I am your God. Pray to me!”
I said nothing. Noah/Bellua began to pace, muttering something under his breath.
“What?” I said.
“Squares!” He murmured a little louder,
I realized what he was doing: getting ready to kill me. Finally, I closed my eyes, went limp,  and gave up.
But he wouldn’t let me do that. He yanked up into a sitting position forcefully, and suddenly I felt metal being pressed down, then a sharp pain in the back of my neck. He wouldn’t stop. It felt like he was cutting something out. When he finished, he showed me what he had done. The square piece of my skin he had cut out was dripping with my blood.
“And now, I must bid you adieu,” Noah/Bellua whispered into my ear. And all was dark.

title: Bellua (Original Short Story by Me) p.3 Rust (Final Part)

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Why does Bellua hate the narrator so much?

answer: Judging from the conversation Bellua has with the narrator, Bellua seems to be some sort of eco-terrorist. He sees the narrator as an enemy since he believes that the narrator is a monster who did terrible things to people. Same reason he considers the narrator an enemy as he thinks the narrator thinks he's doing good. Presumably, the narrator is on his way to kill the environmental activist.

text: Saying that Bellua is some sort of eco-terrorist is inaccurate and should not even be used to describe him. That word should be eliminated.

refinement: Judging from the conversation Bellua has with the narrator, Bellua is the narrator's psychopath neighbor with multiple personality disorder. He sees the narrator as an enemy since he believes that the narrator is a monster who did terrible things to people. Same reason he considers the narrator an enemy as he thinks the narrator thinks he's doing good.

text: The last line of the answer is awkward and needs to be rewritten for clarity. That line can be replaced with a more relevant detail.

refinement: Judging from the conversation Bellua has with the narrator, Bellua is the narrator's psychopath neighbor with multiple personality disorder. He sees the narrator as an enemy since he believes that the narrator is a monster who did terrible things to people. Bellua hates the narrator because he murders people for no reason and thinks he is better than him. Thus, Bellua seeks to rid the society of people like the narrator.

answer: Bellua hates the narrator because the narrator murdered a man and enjoyed it, while Bellua is extremely dedicated in ridding society of the truly sick people. Bellua feels that the narrator is selfish, egotistic, and misguided. Thus, Bellua despises the narrator with all his being.

text:
-The story does not say that the narrator killed a man and enjoyed it. The model made that up.
-The story does not say that Bellua felt the narrator was selfish, egotistic, and misguided. These assumptions are not needed because the answer ought to be accurate and according to the story.

refinement: Bellua hates the narrator and sees him as an enemy because he is a monster who did terrible things to people. Bellua is hugely dedicated to ridding society of truly sick people like the narrator. To add to his hatred for him, he thinks the narrator thinks himself to be better than him.

answer: According to Bellua, the narrator seems like a "bad" person, who didn't have any reason for killing others other than that he could.

text: The answer provided is not sufficient to describe why Bellua hated the narrator. The answer needs to include more details.

refinement: According to Bellua, the narrator is a terrible person who doesn't have any reason for killing others other than the fact that he could. Bellua sees the narrator as an enemy since he believes that the narrator is a monster who did terrible things to people for no reason and acts like he was a good person and thinks he is better than him. Thus, Bellua seeks to rid the society of people like the narrator.

answer: Bellua hates the narrator because they claim to be morally superior while simultaneously committing atrocities. He also feels disgusted by the narrator's use of religion as a superficial means of apology or justification. Bellua wants to be rid of people like the narrator who pretend to be infallible.

answer:
The narrator and Noah are a strange pair of friends - they both seem to enjoy killing people they deem bad for society. The narrator recently killed a man on Noah's lawn and his friend has been behaving oddly since then.

One day, Noah managed to kidnap the narrator, putting him in his shed. There he reveals he is not only Noah but a man called Bellua. The narrator has heard of Bellua from Noah before, thinking he was Noah's friend.

Bellua tells the narrator that he is going to die so that Noah won't be taking advantage of again. The narrator begs for his life but Bellua is not having any of it.

text: The entire answer is not straightforward. It also doesnt answer the question of why Bellua hated the narrator. The answer should be short and to the point.

refinement: Bellua hates the narrator because they claim to be morally superior while simultaneously committing atrocities. He also feels disgusted by the narrator's use of religion as an insignificant means of apology or justification. Bellua wants to be rid of people like the narrator, who pretend to be infallible. He also sees the narrator as a monster who did terrible things to people for no reason and acts like he was a good person and thinks he is better than him.