text:
**I apologize for the bad formatting. Copied and Pasted from a word doc.**
**I'd like opinions and Creative Criticism**

"Up we go!" She shouted in a cute and childish manner as the elevator brought us up to the third floor of the parking garage.  "So, which one is yours?" She asked. I pointed to a grey Saturn Ion parked at the back of the garage.

"Not that cool I know, but hey I make do." We walked to the edge of the garage and stared at the buildings below us. "This would be an awesome place to play frisbee." She said as she took a seat on the edge of the wall.
"I guess, but what if you throw it off the roof?"

"Ya that would suck"
We sat in silence for a few moments. Only the muffled harmony of the cars below us could be heard.
I reached out and placed my hand on hers. She looked up and we locked eyes. Giggling she turned her head and looked out in the distance.
“Listen.” I spoke. “I... you know.”

“No I don’t.” She replied suddenly, slowly moving her hand out from under mine.
“Yeah you do.” “I mean, isn’t it pretty obvious?”

“I’m just confused.”

“Should I spell it out for you?” She ignored my question.
 “I like you. I want to be with you.”  The silence drew on even longer. “There…” I finished angrily.

“Why would you?” She finally said.

“I dunno. It’s one of those things you know, but can’t explain.” “I guess I like how you find happiness in small things. I can’t do that on my own. I focus too much on large problems. I need someone like you. Someone who isn’t afraid to have fun… The fact that you’re absolutely beautiful doesn’t help either.”

“Shut up” She mumbled.  “I’ve liked someone else for a while now. I kind of just want to try pursuing things on my own.” She added. “To be honest, I envy you. At least you can act on impulse and tell me those things. I can’t even talk to the guy.” She crossed her arms and turned away from me.

“It’s not impulse.” I interrupted. “I guess it’s stupidity.”
“This… is impulse” I turned her around and placed my hand on her cheek. As I moved myself closer to her she pushed me back and turned around again.

“No… that’s stupidity.” She said in a scolding manner.

Upset, I too turned my back. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a lighter. Lighting a cigarette I hopped up on the wall and stared off at the building tops. We sat like this for what seemed like ages. Looking down over the edge of the roof I started thinking. If I were to fall, I thought, would she care very much? Would she remember this night? The night I slipped and fell to my death.  I looked at my phone, it was getting late and obviously the night was over for me anyways. The humming of the cars seemed softer now, almost non-existent.

“Listen.” I finally spoke. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m apologizing for. I just know that I’m sorry.”
She remained silent.
Annoyed by her silence, I stood up, threw the rest of my cigarette on the ground, and walked over to her. I grabbed her again, but this time I embraced her. Soon I felt her arms wrap themselves around me. I buried my face into her neck, wishing I could do this more often.  Her skin was soft and smooth, I almost thought of kissing her neck, but soon remembered that I had no right to. I held her for maybe a few minutes. Longer than a standard hug, that much is for sure.

“You’re shorter than me.” She giggled.

“I know.” I forced myself to let go. I walked to the opposite side of the garage and leaned over the railing. Would she come over and grab my shoulder? I thought. Maybe she’d spin me around and tell me to stop frowning. Maybe she’d try to cheer me up. Maybe she’d hold me a bit longer.
I heard a door shut behind me and I fell to my knees.
“Fuck.” I whispered as I slammed my fist into the ground.

title: Impulse (First "story")

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Who is the narrator?

answer: Not really answered, the narrator seems to be a man.

answer: The narrator is a male.

text: "The narrator is a male. - doesn't really answer the question "who is". Replace with "That information can't be found."

answer: The narrator is the character who encounters the woman at the top of the parking garage.

text: "The narrator is the character who encounters the woman at the top of the parking garage." - doesn't really answer the question "who is". Replace with "That information can't be found."

answer: It's not mentioned explicitly. The man is presumably the one describing the story.

text: "The man is presumably the one describing the story." - can be deleted

answer: Raichu, a friend of the girl

text: "Raichu, a friend of the girl" - there is no evidence to suggest this character exists in the story. Replace with "That information can't be found."

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Where are the narrator and the woman?

answer: Parking garage

text: "Parking garage" - needs to add where exactly (what level) because the parking garage has multiple levels.

refinement: They are on the third floor (roof) of a parking garage.

answer: The narrator and the woman are standing on the roof of a parking garage.

answer: The narrator and the woman are at the top of a parking garage.

answer: The parking garage of a building is implied.

text:
"The parking garage of a building is implied." - needs to add where exactly (what level) because the parking garage has multiple levels.
- Delete "is implied"

refinement: They are on the third floor (roof) of a parking garage.

answer: The narrator and the woman are on the roof of a parking garage.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Who does the woman like?

answer: She indicates that she likes someone already.

text: "She indicates that she likes someone already." - add that it's someone other than the narrator.

refinement: She indicates that she likes someone else, but doesn't say who.

answer: A different man.

text: She indicated that she likes someone else other than the narrator, but it wasn't implied who or if the person is male or female.

refinement: She said she liked someone else for a while now, but it is not the narrator and the identity (or gender) of the person wasn't revealed.

answer: Not answered in the passage.

answer: The woman likes a different man than the narrator.

text: She indicated that she likes someone else other than the narrator, but it wasn't implied who or if the person is male or female.

refinement: The woman likes a different person other than the narrator.

answer: The woman apparently likes another man.

text: She indicated that she likes someone else other than the narrator, but it wasn't implied who or if the person is male or female.

refinement: The woman apparently likes someone else for a while now, but it is not the narrator and the identity (or gender) of the person wasn't revealed.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Why does the narrator like the woman?

answer: It probably has to do with how seemingly free-spirited the woman is. She appreciates little joys in life, which the narrator aspires to do. She also looks beautiful.

text: “I guess I like how you find happiness in small things. I can’t do that on my own. I focus too much on large problems. I need someone like you. Someone who isn’t afraid to have fun… The fact that you’re absolutely beautiful doesn’t help either.”

answer: Not answered.

text: "Not answered." - is incorrect. The narrator told the woman: “I guess I like how you find happiness in small things. I can’t do that on my own. I focus too much on large problems. I need someone like you. Someone who isn’t afraid to have fun… The fact that you’re absolutely beautiful doesn’t help either.” - Revise the answer.

refinement: The narrator likes the woman because she finds happiness in small things, isn't afraid to have fun, and is absolutely beautiful.

answer: The narrator likes the woman because she finds happiness in small things. Additionally, she finds her attractive and believes their personalities compliment one another.

text: "compliment" - correct the spelling to "complement"

refinement: The narrator likes the woman because she finds happiness in small things. Additionally, she finds her attractive and believes their personalities complement one another.

text: “I guess I like how you find happiness in small things. I can’t do that on my own. I focus too much on large problems. I need someone like you. Someone who isn’t afraid to have fun… The fact that you’re absolutely beautiful doesn’t help either.”

answer: The narrator likes the woman for her carefree approach and lack of fear to act on impulse. He admires her ability to find happiness in small things and feels she would be the ideal partner to help him learn to do the same. He also sees her as physically beautiful which adds to his attraction.

text: "The narrator likes the woman for her carefree approach and lack of fear to act on impulse." - it's the woman who is envious of the man for being able to act on impulse and tell her what's on his mind.

refinement: He admires her ability to find happiness in small things and feels she would be the ideal partner to help him learn to do the same. He also sees her as physically beautiful which adds to his attraction.

answer: If the narrator likes guys who are not afraid to have fun, then he probably likes her because she has that quality herself.

text: "If the narrator likes guys who are not afraid to have fun" - is incorrect. The narrator doesn't like guys who aren't afraid to have fun, he likes the woman because she has that quality. The answer needs a rewrite.

refinement: The narrator likes her because he needs someone like her. She is not afraid to have fun and can find happiness in small things, which he can't do on his own. Plus, she is absolutely beautiful.

question: Write a ~5 sentence summary.

answer: The narrator and a woman go to the top of a parking garage. The narrator confesses that he has romantic feelings for the woman, but she rejects him. The narrator places his hand on her face, and she swats him away. The narrator apologizes, and they embrace. He removes himself from her arms, and a door opens behind them.

text: "and she swats him away" - is inaccurate. She pushed him back. Add that he did this on impulse.

refinement:
The narrator and a woman go to the top of a parking garage.
The narrator confesses that he has romantic feelings for the woman, but she rejects him.
On impulse, the narrator places his hand on her face, and she pushes him back.
The narrator apologizes, and they embrace.
He removes himself from her arms, and a door opens behind them.

text: "The narrator apologizes, and they embrace." - add that they embrace for a long time.

refinement:
The narrator and a woman go to the top of a parking garage.
The narrator confesses that he has romantic feelings for the woman, but she rejects him.
On impulse, the narrator places his hand on her face, and she pushes him back.
The narrator apologizes, and they embrace longer than a standard hug.
He removes himself from her arms, and a door opens behind them.

text: "He removes himself from her arms" - it's not like the woman didn't want to let him go. He forced himself to let go. Add that he walked away hoping that she would follow him and stay a bit longer.

refinement:
The narrator and a woman go to the top of a parking garage.
The narrator confesses that he has romantic feelings for the woman, but she rejects him.
On impulse, the narrator places his hand on her face, and she pushes him back.
The narrator apologizes, and they embrace longer than a standard hug.
He forces himself to let go and walks away hoping that she would follow him and stay a bit longer, and a door opens behind them.

text: "and a door opens behind them." - a door didn't open, it shut. The woman didn't follow him and presumably left in her own car, shutting the door.

refinement:
The narrator and a woman go to the top of a parking garage.
The narrator confesses that he has romantic feelings for the woman, but she rejects him.
On impulse, the narrator places his hand on her face, and she pushes him back.
The narrator apologizes, and they embrace longer than a standard hug.
He forces himself to let go and walks away hoping that she would follow him and stay a bit longer, but she doesn't and he hears a door shut behind him.

answer: A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman. He tells her how he feels, but the woman doesn't immediately reciprocate. Later, the two reunite on a rooftop and embrace one another. The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship, but comes to the realization that the other woman does not feel the same way and things end bitterly.

text: "Later, the two reunite on a rooftop and embrace one another." - is inaccurate because they were already on the roof of the parking garage. Merge with the second sentence.

refinement:
A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman.
They go to the roof of a parking garage and he tells her how he feels, but the woman doesn't immediately reciprocate.
The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship, but comes to the realization that the other woman does not feel the same way and things end bitterly.

text: "the woman doesn't immediately reciprocate." - must be more specific. The woman tells him she has liked someone for a while now, but it's not him.

refinement:
A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman.
They go to the roof of a parking garage and he tells her how he feels, but the woman tells him she has liked someone for a while now, and it's not him.
The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship, but comes to the realization that the other woman does not feel the same way and things end bitterly.

text: "relationship," - remove the comma

refinement:
A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman.
They go to the roof of a parking garage and he tells her how he feels, but the woman tells him she has liked someone for a while now, and it's not him.
The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship but comes to the realization that the other woman does not feel the same way and things end bitterly.

text: "but comes to the realization that the other woman does not feel the same way and things end bitterly." - was made redundant by the second sentence and needs to be replaced.

refinement:
A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman.
They go to the roof of a parking garage and he tells her how he feels, but the woman tells him she has liked someone for a while now, and it's not him.
The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship and on impulse, puts his hand on her cheek and moves closer for a likely kiss, but she pushes him away.

text: Needs to add two more sentences to reach the 5-sentence requirement.

refinement:
A young man finds himself attracted to another young woman.
They go to the roof of a parking garage and he tells her how he feels, but the woman tells him she has liked someone for a while now, and it's not him.
The man then realizes he wants more from the relationship and on impulse, puts his hand on her cheek and moves closer for a likely kiss, but she pushes him away.
He turns his back on her and they sat without talking for what seemed like ages until he finally apologizes and they hug for a long time.
He forces himself to let go, walking away to the other side of the garage hoping she follows, but his plan backfires and she leaves without even saying goodbye.

answer: The narrator and a girl are come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing friebees on the roof would be awesome. The narrator manages to put a moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings. The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time, until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in every day things. She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic. The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

text: "friebees" - correct to "frisbee"

refinement:
The narrator and a girl are come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing frisbee on the roof would be awesome.
The narrator manages to put a moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings.
The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time, until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in every day things.
She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic.
The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

text: "a moves" - change to "the moves"

refinement:
The narrator and a girl are come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing frisbee on the roof would be awesome.
The narrator manages to put the moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings.
The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time, until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in every day things.
She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic.
The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

text:
"long time," - remove the comma
"every day" - replace with "everyday"

refinement:
The narrator and a girl are come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing frisbee on the roof would be awesome.
The narrator manages to put the moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings.
The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in everyday things.
She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic.
The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

text: "are come up" - remove "are"

refinement:
The narrator and a girl come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing frisbee on the roof would be awesome.
The narrator manages to put the moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings.
The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in everyday things.
She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic.
The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

text: "She corrects him and says she wishes that she could instead of trying to be optimistic." - Not optimistic. She says she envies the guy because he can act on impulse.

refinement:
The narrator and a girl come up in an elevator to a parking garage where she promptly sits on the edge of the wall and launches into a discussion about how playing frisbee on the roof would be awesome.
The narrator manages to put the moves on her, but she bluntly turns him down, which hurts his feelings.
The two remain silent for an uncomfortably long time until he sits down next to her and starts chatting about how she likes to find happiness in everyday things.
She corrects him and says she wishes that she could act on impulse as he can.
The two then hug, and the narrator goes to lean on the wall and feels rejected when she doesn't come to cheer him up.

answer: The main character and a girl go to a parking garage and talk about frisbee. The main character tells the girl that he likes her and she gets surprised and confused. The main character, angered, tries to convince her that his feelings are legitimate. When she walks away, the character gets upset and punches the ground. The girl eventually comes back and embraces the main character. The main character eventually realizes that it's a stupid impulse and feels bad about it.

text: "The main character tells the girl that he likes her and she gets surprised and confused." - mention that the guy touched the girl's cheek and leaned in and she pushed him.

refinement:
The main character and a girl go to a parking garage and talk about frisbee.
The main character tells the girl that he likes her, touches her cheek, and leans closer, but she's surprised and confused so she pushes him back.
The main character, angered, tries to convince her that his feelings are legitimate.
When she walks away, the character gets upset and punches the ground.
The girl eventually comes back and embraces the main character.
The main character eventually realizes that it's a stupid impulse and feels bad about it.

text: "The main character, angered, tries to convince her that his feelings are legitimate." - this happened before he leaned in and touched her cheek. Rewrite to show the part where they weren't talking to each other.

refinement:
The main character and a girl go to a parking garage and talk about frisbee.
The main character tells the girl that he likes her, touches her cheek, and leans closer, but she's surprised and confused so she pushes him back.
The main character is upset and they don't speak to each other for what seems like ages while he smokes a cigarette up a wall.
When she walks away, the character gets upset and punches the ground.
The girl eventually comes back and embraces the main character.
The main character eventually realizes that it's a stupid impulse and feels bad about it.

text: "When she walks away, the character gets upset and punches the ground." - she doesn't walk away until after the end of the story. The narrator climbs down the wall, apologizes, and hugs her for a long time.

refinement:
The main character and a girl go to a parking garage and talk about frisbee.
The main character tells the girl that he likes her, touches her cheek, and leans closer, but she's surprised and confused so she pushes him back.
The main character is upset and they don't speak to each other for what seems like ages while he smokes a cigarette up a wall.
He finally apologizes to the girl, but she remains silent, so he grabs her and hugs her, glad that she hugged him back.
The girl eventually comes back and embraces the main character.
The main character eventually realizes that it's a stupid impulse and feels bad about it.

text: "The girl eventually comes back and embraces the main character. The main character eventually realizes that it's a stupid impulse and feels bad about it." - these last two entries have become irrelevant and should be replaced with one sentence to meet the 5-sentence requirement.

refinement:
The main character and a girl go to a parking garage and talk about frisbee.
The main character tells the girl that he likes her, touches her cheek, and leans closer, but she's surprised and confused so she pushes him back.
The main character is upset and they don't speak to each other for what seems like ages while he smokes a cigarette up a wall.
He finally apologizes to the girl, but she remains silent, so he grabs her and hugs her, glad that she hugged him back.
He forces himself to let go and walks to the opposite side of the garage, hoping she would come to him and cheer him up, but his plan backfires and she walks away without saying goodbye.

answer: The narrator and a girl take a visit to a parking garage. They sit down for a while and he confesses that he likes her. She tells him she is just confused and asks him to spell it out for her, but she tells him that the fact that she would believe that is what knuckles (means ignorance or foolishness) are. She walks away and he follows her, saying he is sorry and telling her that what he did was not impulse, it was stupidity. They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt.

text: "They sit down for a while and he confesses that he likes her." - add that the girl commended him on being able to act on impulse.

refinement:
The narrator and a girl take a visit to a parking garage.
They sit down for a while, he confesses that he likes her, and she commends him for being able to act on impulse.
She tells him she is just confused and asks him to spell it out for her, but she tells him that the fact that she would believe that is what knuckles (means ignorance or foolishness) are.
She walks away and he follows her, saying he is sorry and telling her that what he did was not impulse, it was stupidity.
They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt.

text: "She tells him she is just confused and asks him to spell it out for her, but she tells him that the fact that she would believe that is what knuckles (means ignorance or foolishness) are." - this doesn't make any sense, especially the part about the knuckles, because it is not anywhere in the story. This whole sentence should be rewritten.

refinement:
The narrator and a girl take a visit to a parking garage.
They sit down for a while, he confesses that he likes her, and she commends him for being able to act on impulse.
Upon hearing her comment, he touches her cheek and leans in, but she's confused, pushes him back, and turns away.
She walks away and he follows her, saying he is sorry and telling her that what he did was not impulse, it was stupidity.
They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt.

text: "She walks away and he follows her, saying he is sorry and telling her that what he did was not impulse, it was stupidity. " - she doesn't walk away until later in the story. After the kiss attempt, they just sat there in silence for a while.

refinement:
The narrator and a girl take a visit to a parking garage.
They sit down for a while, he confesses that he likes her, and she commends him for being able to act on impulse.
Upon hearing her comment, he touches her cheek and leans in, but she's confused, pushes him back, and turns away.
Upset, the narrator hops up a wall to smoke and they sat in silence for a while before he goes back down and apologizes, but the girl remains quiet.
They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt.

text: "They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt." - add that the girl walked away.

refinement:
The narrator and a girl take a visit to a parking garage.
They sit down for a while, he confesses that he likes her, and she commends him for being able to act on impulse.
Upon hearing her comment, he touches her cheek and leans in, but she's confused, pushes him back, and turns away.
Upset, the narrator hops up a wall to smoke and they sat in silence for a while before he goes back down and apologizes, but the girl remains quiet.
They hug for a while after this, but the narrator is still dejected and hurt when the girl walks away.


split: train

text:
“Where am I? Who are these people around me?” I thought to myself when I first woke up. I slowly lifted myself up and rubbed my eyes thoroughly as if there was something in them, but nothing was. I looked over; a lady kindly greeted me and handed me a folder. As soon as the folder was within my possession I knew what must be done; it was pure instinct. I immediately opened it up and read all of the information.

     I remembered that my name was Bob Lamron. I am 23 years old, have neither children nor a wife; they were only given to you if you had proven yourself faithful and intelligent enough. I asked the women who handed me the folder where I was and what events had occurred that left me in this situation. She just looked at me and smiled.

     Two rather large males, who appeared to be body guards disguised as physicians, led me out the front door. As soon as I walked out, a car appeared out of nowhere. From the car came a robotic voice; it addressed me by name and commanded me to enter the automobile. As I got in the car, the voice spoke again. It asked me what my home address was. I had no clue; I could not even remember if I had children 10 minutes ago. How was I supposed to answer the voice with details of my forget life? The women who had presented me with the folder, a nurse, that I had woken up next to, ran out of the building and handed me the same folder that I had left behind in the room. I opened it up and aloud, “2534 Egareva Rd.” As soon as the words had left my mouth, the taxi immediately sped off, presumably to the address.

      As I saw the things I passed by I started to remember details, like I had never forgotten them at all. Trees, Birds, people, restaurants, fountains, everything! It was all flooding in as if there was a dam in my brain and it had just been ruptured without notice. We arrived at my house and I opened the front door. I walked into my room and sat down. I could not recall the events that had occurred before I woke up. It was like the dam of knowledge in my mind had been concealed.

     My mind had locked away any memories of the events and I could not do anything about it. The more I thought, the more my head hurt.
It felt like one of those moments when you are mid conversation with someone and another person, uninvolved in the conversation, calls your name. You stop talking in order to address the interjection of your name, but when you try to come back into the original conversation, you can’t remember what you were talking about no matter how hard you try. I sat there on my couch and tried as hard as I could to recall what had happened.

     I then positioned myself so that I could see out of the window. I saw a grey, bleak world. Everything was so average, so normal. The only color people were given permission to wear were different shades of grey. The lighter your color, the higher up your social class was. I was just an average grey.

     As I was thinking through all of this, my eyes were fixed upon a section of peeling paint in the right corner of my peripheral vision. For some reason I knew I was supposed to go over to it; it was like I had some kind of cosmic urge. My hand lifted from my side and I started to peel the paint. It came off fairly easily, far too easier than any paint should have, for that matter. Suddenly, I saw something concealed under the peeling paint. I knew I had to uncover it. As I tore the paint off a fit overcame me. Next thing I knew, I was tearing, ripping, and enjoying this more than anything I had enjoyed before. I was ripping everything in sight off the wall.

     I stepped back and looked at my wall and there was writing everywhere. The memories started flooding back into my head of what had happened. I had uncovered something big. The government had been spiking everyone. Now they wouldn’t just bug a room, or a camera in a park to see what was going on, they were putting microphones in you. They had put chips in your brain so that they could see, think, hear, and smell everything you have ever come in contact with. Knowing I had just remembered this I knew they would be after me. I shut the blinds and closed the door in my room.

     I lightly lifted a blind cover and looked out the window. I saw a slim, black, shiny car pulled up to the front of my building. The same two men who had accompanied me out of the hospital got out of the black car. I sat there shaking, wondering what I could do. The second I saw them barge in through the front door, I jumped out of my second story bedroom and landed on the pavement. My ankle buckled and I felt a sharp pain but I knew I had to get out of here and tell someone what is going on. I screamed names but no one would listen to me. I was living in a selfish world where people only cared about themselves. I gave up. I fell to the floor, my ankle throbbing, and looked at the door to my building, expecting the two men to walk through. I was doomed.

     The two men eventually came out of my building and grabbed me. They didn’t say a word; all they would do is stare straight forward. Then they put me in the back of the car and drove off. It was the exact same route that led back to my house. I had only been out for an hour, at most and here I was, being dragged back.

     When I got there the female nurse was sitting there with a needle filled with what appeared to be a sedative. As she inserted it in my vein, two doctors walked into the room. The first said, “Okay, begin sedation and we’ll get ready for the micro-chip reset.”
The other doctor responded, “Looks like this one didn’t turn out to well again like the last time.”

	As they finished their sentences I realized something. They have been resetting everyone until they get every single one of us to be perfect for their society. They don’t want people to have character or personality; they are just looking to create the most generic human being, like emotionless robots. As I thought this, I started to black out.

     “Where am I? Who are these people around me?” I thought to myself when I first woke up. I slowly lifted myself up and rubbed my eyes thoroughly as if there was something in them, but nothing was. I looked over; a lady kindly greeted me and handed me a folder.

title: Deja Vu

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What happened to the narrator when they first woke up?

answer: He could not remember a single thing from his own life.

answer: When the narrator woke up, they did not remember anything about their surroundings or who was around them. The nurse handed the narrator the folder and the narrator remembered their name, age, marital and familial status. The narrator then saw two men who were likely security guards heading towards their house. The narrator managed to escape out of the window before the doctors could sedece them.

text: Last three lines irrelevant. Final sentence incoherent. "Sedece" whatever that means

refinement: When the narrator woke up, they did not remember anything about their surroundings or who was around them.

answer: They could not recall anything about themselves or their life.

answer: They were caught in a block, a hippocampus then remembered who they are.

text: "Hippocampus" is a gland in the brain, not a mental state

refinement: They were caught in a block, then remembered who they are.

answer: The narrator woke up confused and without any recollection of their identity or where they were. They received a folder with important information from a nurse and after reading it, remembered that their name was Bob Lamron, they are 23 years old, and that someone was purposefully spiking everyone in order to create a generic human. The narrator was then sedated by the nurse and transported back to their house, where the same two men took them hostage.

text: Remove the following sentences after the amnesiac experience

refinement: The narrator woke up confused and without any recollection of their identity or where they were.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

How was Bob Lamron (narrator) able to remember his name and age?

answer: A folder with all of his information was handed to him by a nurse.

answer: After rubbing his eyes, the folder handed to him by a woman clearly stated everything about him.

answer: Information can't be found.

text: After rubbing his eyes, the folder handed to him by a woman clearly stated everything about him.

refinement: After rubbing his eyes, the folder handed to him by a woman clearly stated everything about him.

answer: Bob Lamron was able to remember his name and age because he read the information in the folder presented by the nurse. Once he read this information his memories started to return. He was suddenly able to remember things about his life that had previously been locked away in some way. This included remembering his name and age.

answer: Bob Lamron had forgotten everything before he woke up and only remembered details after opening the folder and reading the information provided. Once he saw things around him and started to remember, a cosmic urge compelled him to peel the paint on his wall and he found writing that reflected the events that had transpired. After being recaptured and drugged by the nurse, two doctors told him that they were resetting people until they were perfect for their society. He blacked out as he realized this.

text: Remove the sentences following the first one

refinement: Bob Lamron had forgotten everything before he woke up and only remembered details after opening the folder and reading the information provided.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Explain how Bob was able to recover his memories.

answer: After waking up, Bob noticed that certain things seemed familiar but he couldn't remember why. Eventually, he saw something concealed under the paint on the wall and uncovered it. As he ripped the paint off, the memories started flooding back into his head. The government had been spiking everyone, and when they saw that Bob wasn't behaving correctly, they put him under sedation so that they could reset his memories.

answer: By examining the piece of pealing paint on his wall.

answer: Bob uncovered incriminating evidence in his home.

answer: The memories of what led to the situation Bob awoke from were locked away in his mind, until he found a section of peeling paint on his wall. As he peeled the paint from the wall, underneath he found hidden writing that led to memories of the government spiking the population and putting microphones and micro-chips in people's brains. The female nurse gave him a sedative while two doctors talked about resetting people. Based on this, his memories were unlocked by uncovering truth about what had happened.

answer: He looked at his wall and there were writings everywhere.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize what Bob uncovered.

answer: He uncovered deep currents of the government trying to make everyone behave themselves through chips implanted in their brains. The government wants to have the same control of their populace as a computer has of its operating system with out rewarding or punishing individuals.

answer: The government had been spiking everyone and inserting chips into people's brain's resetting everyone into emotionless robots.

answer: Bob uncovered that the government was spying on everyone through implanted microchips in people's brains. When he found this out, he panicked and ran before being captured and sedated by government doctors.

answer: The government has been spiking everyone. Now they will put microphones in you.

text: No use of 2nd person please

refinement: The government had been spiking everyone and inserting chips into people's brain's resetting everyone into emotionless robots.

answer: Bob uncovered that the government was spiking people with microphones and microchips to monitor their lives for the sake of creating a perfectly generic human being.

question: Write a ~3 sentence summary.

answer: A young man wakes up in a hospital after an unknown incident. He quickly realizes that he cannot remember anything about his past. A nurse gives him a folder with information about his identity, and he remembers the details of his life. When he looks outside, he sees two men who turn out to be government agents. They take him back to the very place where the incident occurred and he is sedated. He realizes that the government has been resetting everyone to make them more compliant to their standards for society.

answer: Bob wakes up in a strange place and doesn't know who he is or where he is. The nurse hands him a folder with information about himself. In addition, he notices paint peeling on the wall and discovers writing revealing the government had been invading people's minds by placing chips in brains. The government catches up to him and he loses consciousness, being dragged back to his house and injected with a sedative. The doctors in the room reveal the government has been resetting people until they reach their ideal state.

answer:
The narrator wakes up in a hospital room and has a brief conversation with a woman. The woman leaves, and the narrator quickly memorizes his address, which is 2534 Egareva Rd.

The narrator then takes the taxi from the hospital to his house, but as soon as he sees that there is writing all over the walls, his memories start to come back. He tars and rips the paint off recognizing the microchips the government uses to spy on everyone.

answer: Bob Lamron (narrator) wakes up without remembering a single thing about his own life. He is handed a folder with all of his information and when he gets home, the writings on the wall help him recover his memories. He uncovers that the government has been inserting chips into people's brains and resetting them into emotionless robots.

answer: The narrator wakes up confused and without memory. He is given a folder and remembers his name and address, but no more than that. He goes on a wild rampage, his mind and body coping with him going against the insidious plot he'd uncovered.


text:
     It's that time again. It's 6:45 pm on a Tuesday evening. Late September. The most beautiful of the months. It's fascinating how the death of leaves, slowly being
 discolored then dwindling helplessly onto the fine edges of the branches, could be such a remarkable view. Every leaf is unique in its own manner, just as every human being is.
     I approach the two-story brick building from the street in front of it where I parked my car. Although this building has two-stories, it comes no more than 9 feet above the sidewalk. The entrance was followed by a set of seven steps declining to the basement door, the main entrance. The third step from the top has a crack just off to the right of the center, parting the step into two uneven slabs of concrete. I counted them when I came down the stairs for the first time, the second time, and every time following that.
     I proceed down the hall about fifteen feet and enter the door on my left. There, a room with twelve chairs are placed, facing inwards to form a circle. The walls were all white, with only two windows, which didn't allow much sunlight to come in, especially due to the time the sun disappears for the day here in Maryland.
     When I enter the circle, a wave of tension crashes over me. I know nobody in the room personally, only from seeing them in their same spots in this circle previously.
     "Good evening," peeps a woman's voice, "and welcome to our Tuesday night meeting! All familiar faces I see. Thomas, Andrew, Jared. But, I would like to start off with a name that has yet to truly open up to us."
     Shit. That's me. Right? No. We haven't heard from Derrick yet. Please Derrick. Stand up for me.
     "Gregory, would you like to start off our gathering this evening?"
     No. I come here to feel like I have something in common with everyone else. I do now. That's it. Goodbye. But I can't just walk away...
     Against every willing muscle, I rise.
     "Hello, everybody..." I said as relaxed as possible, but still nowhere near the definition of "relaxed".
     "Good evening, Greg," says the room, as well as the woman in the burgundy cardigan, sitting with ideal posture in the chair three seats to my right out of twelve chairs. That cardigan draped just past her hips when she stood, but halfway down the legs of the chair when she sat. A peaceful woman, only in her late 20's, continues with, "would you like to start by letting everyone know your name?"
     Maybe it isn't burgundy. Possibly a maroon. It's dark enough to remind me of autumn and the colors of the oak leaves that fell in my front lawn, but not too dark. Most of the leaves weren't quite as deep of a red as she wore.
     I'm getting very off topic here.
     "Gregory." I finally respond after a mere two seconds of a pause between her question and my answer. But a pause that ling in a room this quiet and empty feels like you could watch Titanic once or twice. I don't like the name Gregory, but that was the first thing to explode from my mouth since entering the circles of chairs on the open room I sat in. I spoke curtly, but nervously, as if embarassed to answer incorrectly.
     "My name", gulp, "is Greg Timsworth," I added to my too short of an answer, saying Greg so people don't assume I prefer "Gregory". Another pause followed my extended response before the woman spoke her couple of sentences.
     "Well, it's great to see you here tonight, Greg. Would you like to tell us why you're here?" she asked me enthusiastically and with a caring tone. She was soft-spoken, but it was as if she were in the wrong meeting. Of course she knew. How didn't she? Everybody in this room was here for one reason.
     Weakly and defeated, I opened up. Finally. I can speak of myself. What dilemma I had to overcome every day of my life. Every aspect of living was different than everyone else except for the ten others in this room that underwent the same treatments as I have. All of the doctors and hospitals and medication and tests and surgeries. I have been attending this meeting for 7 sessions, just sitting idly, listening and observing all other answers that other deform-ees gave the woman in the cardigan. They knew my name because of the nametag I wore. Everything else about me was only assumed. I was nobody. Now I'm somebody. I'm Greg Timsworth, owner of a 1991 Ford Probe that runs not as well as I had originally hoped it would've when I bought it for $3,000 on craigslist. I'm the guy that owns a home with a cat that just gave birth to a litter of 4 other kittens. I am Greg Timsworth,  and now I am a somebody.
     I looked the woman with the cardigan in her eyes. Only her. Only her soft brown eyes to match her soft, long brown hair. I stood. With my heart beating faster, I can almost feel the release of all of my pented up emotions. Everything from work, from school, from life as a while. Finally. I scream, louder than ever before, almost in tears.
     "I am Greg Timsworth, and I have no penis!"
     "This is Alcoholics Anonymous..."

title: [RF] - The Rise and Fall of Gregory Timsworth - Part One

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize the twist ending.

answer: Gregory Timsworth goes to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and reveals that he does not have a penis. This surprising and shocking revelation shows how far he's come in participating in the rehabilitation process.

text: The twist is that Greg thinks he's at a support group for people with deformities, but he's really at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

refinement: Gregory Timsworth goes to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and reveals that he does not have a penis. Greg believes he's at a support group meeting for people with deformities, but it is revealed to him that it is an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

answer: Greg believes that he is at a support group for people with deformities. He announces that his name is Greg Timsworth and he has no penis. The woman in the cardigan then informs him that this is Alcoholic Anonymous.

answer: Greg is in his AA meeting, but after he says that he is Gregory Timsworth, who has no penis, realizes that this is not an AA meeting, but rather one for accident victims of car crashes.

text: Completely incorrect response

text: Provide a response

refinement: Greg Timsworth believes he's at a support group meeting for people with deformities, and he tells the group that he does not have a penis, and then it is revealed that he is at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

answer: Greg stands for the circle, as he's been asked to introduce himself. He fills in his details with hesitant curtness, then pauses. "Gregory" he says.

answer: The protagonist of the story reveals that he is a deformed man and has no penis. This is why he attends the AA meeting.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize everything relating to autumn.

answer:
Autumn is the time where the leaves on trees begin to die and fade. Leaves on trees are unique to each one and have lots of variations in color, including red. The meeting takes place in a room with twelve chairs arranged in a circle. The woman in the burgundy cardigan asks Greg Timsworth to start the meeting by introducing himself and discloses that everyone else in the room attends the meeting for one reason, which is that they lack a penis.
Gregory Timsworth describes his situation and how he's attending the meeting because he has no penis. He also mentions that he has a 1991 Ford Probe and a new litter of cats. Autumn relates to the dying leaves as well as Greg's description of his life and the reason he attends the meeting.

text: Remove irrelevant information

refinement: Autumn is the time where the leaves on trees begin to die and fade. Leaves on trees are unique to each one and have lots of variations in color, including red. Autumn relates to the dying leaves as well as Greg's description of his life and the reason he attends the meeting.

text: I don't think the text compares Greg's life to autumn

refinement: Autumn is the time where the leaves on trees begin to die and fade. Leaves on trees are unique to each one and have lots of variations in color, including red.

text: Note the woman's cardigan

refinement: Autumn is the time where the leaves on trees begin to die and fade. Leaves on trees are unique to each one and have lots of variations in color, including red. The woman's cardigan is a dark maroon color which reminds Gregory of autumn and the leaves.

answer: The story takes place during late September, which Greg calls the most beautiful of the months. He is fascinated by the death of the leaves, which are slowly discolored and dwindling on the fine edges of the branches. At the AA meeting, the woman's cardigan reminds Greg of the colors of the oak leaves the fell on his front lawn.

answer: In the first paragraph of the story, the narrator says that it's 6:45pm and the month is late September, the most beautiful of the months.

text: Include the discussion of the leaves and the woman's cardigan

refinement: In the first paragraph of the story, the narrator says that it's 6:45pm and the month is late September, the most beautiful of the months. The narrator is fascinated by the autumn leaves and how each one is unique. The woman's deep maroon cardigan reminds him of the leaves.

answer: The passage discusses the beauty of autumn, specifically the color of leaves that have been browned by death. The building the meeting is in has two floors and is less than 10 feet tall, has a crack in the third step from the top and has white walls with only two windows. The meeting's speaker, Gregory Timsworth, has attended 7 sessions, but is hesitant and uncomfortable discussing his issue. Finally, Gregory states that he has no penis.

text: Remove irrelevant information

refinement: The passage discusses the beauty of autumn, specifically the color of leaves that have been browned by death.

text: Include information about the woman's cardigan

refinement: The passage discusses the beauty of autumn, specifically the color of leaves that have been browned by death. The woman's deep maroon cardigan reminds him of the leaves.

answer: The October-state (Leaves, burgundy cardigan) and the gradual color of green to red that it changes to.

text: Not a complete thought

text: Provide a response

refinement: The story takes place in September and the narrator is fascinated by the changing of the leaves and how each one is unique. The woman's deep maroon cardigan reminds him of the leaves.


text:
GREENVILLE — Hermelando Caricio Chacon, 29, will spend five years in prison after pleading guilty to one count of Rape, a first-degree felony, in Darke County Common Pleas Court on Thursday.

Chacon originally faced five felony charges stemming from an October 23, 2016, incident in which he raped a 13-year-old female. An undocumented alien from Mexico, Chacon has been residing in Greenville and working at a local restaurant for an unknown length of time. He has been incarcerated in the Darke County Jail since his arrest.

Both the prosecution, represented by Assistant Prosecutor Deborah Quigley, and Chacon’s defense attorney, Andrew Pratt, mutually recommended the court impose a five-year prison sentence as part of a plea agreement.

By pleading guilty, Chacon avoided a jury trial and saw four of the five counts against him dismissed, including a second Rape count, two counts of Unlawful Sexual Conduct with a Minor and one count of Abduction. The maximum penalty for the single rape charge could have resulted in an 11-year sentence and a $20,000 fine. If he had been convicted on all five counts, Chacon faced up to 37 years in prison and $70,000 in fines.

In accepting the plea and handing down the sentence, Judge Jonathan Hein spoke slowly in order that Chacon’s court-provided Spanish interpreter could clearly explain the court’s proceedings to him. The defendant was largely silent, providing mostly “yes” or “no” answers to the court.

When asked by the judge if he had any mental health issues, Chacon responded, “I only feel sad.”

As a result of the plea agreement, Chacon has no right to appeal and will not be considered for early release from prison for good behavior. Judge Hein credited Chacon with 82 days already served at the Darke County Jail.

The father of the victim spoke to the court before sentencing, calling the sentence “utterly ridiculous.”

“My daughter, who’s 13 years old, has to live with this for the rest of her life, and this man, in five years, is going to be free, before she’s an adult,” he said.

Chacon, if not immediately deported to Mexico following completion of his sentence, will be subject to five years of community control, and will be listed as a Tier 3 sex offender for the rest of his life.

Asked if justice had been served, Quigley said, “I can’t say justice was served, because you can’t change the fact that you have a child who is impacted by a very serious offense. We came to what we felt, and we talked to the family extensively about this case, we came to a resolution that we felt that everyone could live with.”

Quigley said she expected Chacon would likely be deported after he’s released.

[]

Hermelando Chacon (with defense attorney Andrew Pratt) hears the court’s sentence after pleading guilty to one count of Rape in Darke County Common Pleas Court Thursday. Chacon is subject to deportation by federal authorities following the completion of his sentence.

http://aimmedianetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/34/2017/01/web1_Chacon-7593-PRINT.jpgHermelando Chacon (with defense attorney Andrew Pratt) hears the court’s sentence after pleading guilty to one count of Rape in Darke County Common Pleas Court Thursday. Chacon is subject to deportation by federal authorities following the completion of his sentence. Erik Martin | The Daily Advocate

Pleaded guilty to one count of rape

The writer may be reached at 937-569-4314. Join the conversation and get updates on Facebook search Darke County Sports or Advocate 360. For more features online go to dailyadvocate.com

question: Why did Quigley and Pratt recommend a five-year prison sentence on the court as a plea bargain?

answer: According to the article, the prosecution and the defense agreed that a five-year prison sentence was appropriate due to the seriousness of the crime. The victim is emotionally impacted, which makes the potential consequences of a trial more difficult to bear. Additionally, both parties believed that an eleven-year sentence was too much.

answer: So that Chacon will not face up to 37 years in prison.

answer: The prosecutor and defense attorney recommended a five-year prison sentence as part of a plea agreement because the possible penalty for the single rape charge could have resulted in a long sentence, and the victim was impacted by the offense.

question: Was Chacon remorseful of his action?

answer: It appears he was.

answer: Chacon seems to be remorseful of his actions.

answer: Yes, he only stated "yes" or "no" answers not wanting to say more.

question: Judging from the crime committed, was the plea deal offered fair?

answer: The defendant pleaded guilty to one count of rape while four other charges were dismissed. The maximum penalty was 11 years, while the cited sentence is five years. It is up to the lawyer to weigh all factors when making plea bargains.

text: This question cannot be answered.

answer: It does not seem fair.

question: Can it be said that Quigley was secretly working with Chacon's family to reduce his sentence?

text: This is speculation.

answer: Yes

answer: It may seem she was if the victim's father was unaware of the plea deal.

question: Write a ~7 sentence summary.

answer: Hermelando Caricio Chacon, a 29 year old man, was arrested for the rape of a 13 year old girl. The man is an undocumented alien working in a local restaurant. Five other crimes, including two counts of rape, which would have landed him the maximum prison sentence, were dismissed when he pled guilty to a single charge of rape. It's revealed that Chacon faced deportation once he finishes his sentence. Chacon's Spanish interpreter assisted him fully in court. His call for release after his five year sentence is not going to be considered based on his plea deal and sentencing because of the heinous nature of the offenses. Chacon's attorney advised he'd likely be deported once he's released.

answer: This story is about a man, Hermelando Carlos, who has been convicted of rape. His victim is a 13-year-old girl. He sexually assaulted her. He faced five charges: three counts of rape, one count of Unlawful Sexual Conduct with a Minor, and one count of abduction. He has been in prison for a while. He has agreed to a five-year prison sentence as part of a plea agreement. The judge ruled that he would be deported after his sentence.

answer: Hermelando Chacon sexually assault a 13-year-old girl illegally in Greenville, Ohio. He was arrested but soon felt guilty and decided to ask for a plea deal. One of the five felony charges was dropped; he pleaded guilty on the single rape charge. The court felt sorry for the victim and sentenced him to five years in prison. The father of victim commented on the case, and Assistant Prosecutor, Deborah Quigley, said justice wasn't served because a child would bear the repercussions of Chacon's actions for the rest of her life and that they had done what they thought would be best under the circumstances. Quigley also stated they expected Chacon would be deported after his prison term into follow the current trend that sees the US deporting people who are undocumented and ex-cons.

answer: Hermelando Chacon, a 29 year old undocumented Mexican, plead guilty to raping a 13 year old in Greenville, Ohio in 2016. He was sexually assaulting the youngster. He was sentenced to 5 years in prison, but he will avoid a jury trial. But he was completely silent in the bench. The victim's father also spoke to the whole courtroom, stating that the man's sentence is utterly ridiculous. He served the price for raping the young child, but he will come back.

answer: Hermelando Caricio Chacon, 29, from Mexico, is currently imprisoned for 5 years on one count of Rape. The details of the event behind the crime are not available, but it is available that Chacon sexually assaulted a 13 year-old female. Court proceedings were slower than usual for the little English the interpreter provided for Chacon. However, despite Pratt's efforts to further lower the sentence with evidence that his client was brainwashed by someone else, Judge Hein denies the request. The trial basically comes down to sentencing that is negotiable between the prosecution and defense. It is worth noting the judge explicitly stated that Chacon would be deported after the completion of his sentence.

answer: At the time of this report, Hermelando Chacon, a criminal convicted of raping a 13-year-old girl, faced Darke Common County Pleas Court. He worked in a restaurant before he was arrested for the crime. The prosecutor, Deborah Quigley and his defense attorney Andrew Platt suggested to the judge that he serve a five-year sentence to avoid facing a jury trial and be convicted of all charges leveled against him. To achieve this, he will have to plead guilty to a single charge and serve only five years in prison against 37 years if he faced all. The judge agreed to the sentence, and it seems Chacon felt remorse for his action when asked if he had mental health issues. The victim's father felt infuriated by the judge's sentence because Chacon will be out of prison before his daughter becomes an adult. Deborah Quigley opined that justice was not served when asked and feels they had to decide that would be favorable for everyone and expects Chacon to be deported after serving his time.


text:
Something I wrote while trying to sleep. Fuck grammar, syntax, and structure, for now.

How does someone wake up everyday wanting to shoot themselves? I wonder this everyday. I wake up. I open my eyes. I wait for reality to seep in, and I cry. I don't know why I do this or if anyone one else does this;but I do. I wait for my nerves to calm down and get ready for the sound of my perpetual fan to fill my ears, and I stop. Sure, I wonder, when is this gonna stop? Is my nose red? Will my family notice how red my eyes are? But, regardless, I wake up; I find my shoes; I put on some pants and walk out. At first I really don't notice anything. I hear the snores of my father, sometimes my mother's. I walk towards the bathroom in the hallway and stare into the mirror. My eyes are red, and my nose is red. I don't really think people notice how red my eyes are anymore. I think they just think it's normal. The majority of people don't say anything and think it's natural. You know, like when someone has a rather large mole underneath their left eye or when someone's nose has clinging mucus. I, and they, don't say anything. I just smile through the bullshit of reality and hope that they don't notice that I've noticed.
I've always wanted to meet some lovely girl with a lazy eye, you know, a really, really lazy eye. I mean, she's be absolutely beautiful. Her lips would have they radiating pinkness which would vibrate in the dark. Her hair would be eternally black and wavy, kinda like that fear you feel when you stare into the woods at night. Her body would be sharp, tight, and skinny like a ballerina that moves violently, perfectly on her toes. I would meet her somewhere...like some fucked up bench outside of an abandoned school's playground. She's be smoking a girly cigarette and pretend like I wasn't there when I'd come up to her. I sit next to her, she'd look at me and smile. At first I'd think she's just staring at the ground, modestly smiling at my presence. But I'd soon realize that I'm looking her lazy eye. She really wouldn't say anything, just mumble something like, "I used come here when my parents were beat each other up. They never really noticed I'd leave." I sadly smile and fall in love with her. She's stand up after a while, slowly tip toeing around the room, each second that'd pass her toes would move faster and faster and faster. I'd hear and watch them click across the concrete. Then, out of nowhere, she'd laugh. At first it'd shock me, I'd think, "What a deep laugh for a girl so small." Then she's begin again, moving her body. I'd tear up, a little. Then she'd whisper, I must leave. She'd come up to me, with lazy eye and all, and kiss me, half on the lips, half on the cheek. It wouldn't be sexual. It wouldn't be dull. It'd feel perfect. I'd sit there a while watching the trees sway and imitate her dance in the heavy, high wind. The moon would shine too brightly, but wouldn't be able to overcome the darkness. I wish I'd meet her.
So I rub my nose and some watery substance drains out. I look again, some minutes have passed since I started thinking about her, my nose is no longer red. I sit on the toilet with my pants still on and wait for my mood to change. After sometime passes and I realize I need to get to work soon, I shift my thoughts. I focus on my clothing, on brushing my teeth, and taking a piss. After I do all those things I sit again on the toilet. I sigh. I walk out my front door, lock it behind me, and begin walking.

title: untitled

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the story say about the narrator's state of mind?

answer: The narrator feels depressed and alone most of the time. He wakes up wondering how someone is able to get out of bed, knowing they would rather die than keep going. He is constantly surrounded by evidence of his sadness in the way his nose and eyes are red. This sadness affects all parts of the narrator's life, including how he interacts with others and how he behaves. The narrator wishes for some kind of escape from his sadness, and sees this in a girl with a lazy eye. The narrator feels hopeless and unable to change his state of mind. Ultimately, he feels sad and defeated most of the time.

text: The girl with the lazy eye is not real.

refinement: The narrator feels depressed and alone most of the time. He wakes up wondering how someone is able to get out of bed, knowing they would rather die than keep going. He is constantly surrounded by evidence of his sadness in the way his nose and eyes are red. This sadness affects all parts of the narrator's life, including how he interacts with others and how he behaves. The narrator wishes for some kind of escape from his sadness. Ultimately, he feels sad and defeated most of the time.

answer: S/He was crying when s/he woke up. S/He conceals this during the day. In their actions and behaviors, s/he seems heavily mired in depression. S/He would meet a girl with a lazy eye during this other life in the future, imagining that she would really exist.

answer: The narrator is not in a healthy mental state. He is most probably depressed and suicidal. It also seems that he is sad and alone, which is why he wishes to meet some girl with a lazy eye.

answer: The narrator is clearly emotionally distressed. She spends most of her waking hours feeling incredibly sad and questioning why she has to live through yet another day. She longs for someone to help her bear her pain. She feels estranged and struggles to feel connected to those around her, whether they realize how sad she is or not.

answer:
The narrator has contemplated suicide many times and hopes that meeting some girl with a lazy eye will change their mind about ending their life.

The abusive life the narrator has leads to a lot of shut-off emotion, so the narrator is used to dealing with how emotions look on other people and not how they'd actually feel with their colors flowing.
The narrator is so numb to the point that he can only fool himself into thinking he's not upset.

text: The article never implied that the narrator is trying to fool himself into thinking he is not upset.

refinement:
The narrator has contemplated suicide many times and hopes that meeting some girl with a lazy eye will change their mind about ending their life.

The abusive life the narrator has leads to a lot of shut-off emotion, so the narrator is used to dealing with how emotions look on other people and not how they'd actually feel with their colors flowing.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What does the story say about how the narrator's dream girl looks like?

answer: Based on the passage, the dream girl that the narrator describes looks to be delicate and out of place, like a ballerina with a lazy eye. Her lips are said to be pink and her hair black, wavy and flowing in the wind. She is lean and possesses a quirky charm.

answer: The narrator wants his dream girl to look like a little ballerina who moved with great beauty in tune with the body. She is his dream girl because he has not met anyone who embraces her body and mind the way her dream girl does. She is also the first girl he has wanted to meet and the image he finds most appealing of any girl he has seen so far.

answer: The dream woman described in the passage is thin and graceful like a ballerina. She has a lazy eye that adds to her mysteriousness and beauty. She is also very smiley, especially when laughing.

answer: He describes some of her qualities such as lips, hair, and body.

text: The response does not detail what the girl looks like.

refinement: The narrator describes the girl in his imagination as having a modest demeanor, a lazy eye, pink lips, and wavy black hair as well as possessing a tight and skinny body like that of a ballerina.

answer: The narrator's dream girl would have a really, really lazy eye. The narrator thinks the lazy eye makes her beautiful. Her lips would be pink, and her hair would be wavy black. Her body would be tight, sharp, and skinny like a ballerina. The girl would move perfectly on her toes. She's a smoker and has a deep laugh for a small girl.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Summarize what the story says about what the narrator is going through every day.

answer: The narrator wakes up every morning and lives in a state of despair. He wonders why he feels this way every day, and mourns the loss of hope and happiness. During the course of the day, he distracts himself by focusing on trivial and necessary tasks, such as getting ready for work, brushing his teeth, and using the bathroom. At the end of the day, though, he returns to a state of sadness and depression, realizing anew that his life is miserable and bleak.

answer: The narrator wakes up in a turmoil of emotions, he cries and feels low. He can't seem to change his mood until he has a think about a girl he has decided he wants to meet and starts focusing on himself again. The story implies that the narrator might be more capable to feel low as time passes when he is getting older.

text: The latter part of the response is made up and not supported by the article.

refinement: The narrator wakes up in a turmoil of emotions, he cries and feels low. He can't seem to change his mood until he has a think about an imaginary girl he hopes to meet and starts focusing on himself again.

answer: The narrator wakes up each day wanting to shoot himself. He opens his eyes, waits for reality to seep in, and cries. He waits for his nerves to calm down and checks himself if his eyes and nose are too red for others to notice. He thinks about his imaginary dream girl who has a lazy eye, wavy black hair, and a deep laugh. He hopes to meet her someday. Now that his eyes and nose are no longer red, he preps to go to work.

answer: He wakes up wanting to shoot himself. When he first wakes up, he waits for reality to seep in and decides to leave the house. After he uses the bathroom and freshens himself up for the day, he again notices the redness of his eyes and wished his father or mother noticed it and inquired more about it. The narrator focused on his clothing, brushing his teeth, and taking a piss before again sitting on the toilet and sighing. He then leaves the house.

answer: The narrator spends every day feeling sad and hopeless. They have moments where they ask themselves why they even get out of bed in the morning. They generally begin each day by looking into a mirror and noticing the redness of their eyes and nose and then going through their routine of getting ready for the day. However, the routine can never fully pull them out of their sadness. The only thing which seems to make their mood change is thinking about the hopeful possibility of meeting a girl with a lazy eye who makes them feel alive again.


text:
"My best friend was telling me last night about his amazing new discovery: some guy on the Internet was telling everyone how to easily make lucid dreams. The trick was to lay still on your bed, for up to half an hour, concentrating on staying awake. Your body would then fall asleep, but not your mind. Interested, he'd tried and told me how great it was, being half in reality and half in a dream.

The same night, I tried to find a comfortable enough position on my bed, but ended up on my back. I closed my eyes and focused my thoughts in resisting sleep. Soon I started aching, wasn't comfortable anymore. Still, it'd been probably over ten minutes and I lacked the motivation to start all over again. Five minutes passed, then ten.

It was at least fifteen later that I realised my body couldn't move anymore. It felt weird, like being paralysed. My imagination started running, and the panic became overwhelming: what if someone broke into my apartment and I just couldn't move? What if I was just dead? My friend hadn't told me anything about paralysis. Did he hide that, or was there a problem?

I was still panicking when I heard steps. My mind was running wild, in contrast to my body that only let me move or close my eyes. Two men in white entered my room and my heart nearly stopped; as one flicked the light switch, I realised I was lying on a hospital bed. All sorts of machines were wired to my arms, and I pictured myself from the point of view of my visitors: a seemingly lifeless body, miserable on its bed.

**No**. I wasn't lifeless, my eyes were moving! But then, they started talking to each other.

"- For how long has he been there?, said the first one.
- More than a week. His brain stopped functioning on the impact. His family wants us to let him go, they believe we're preventing him from finding peace."

"I am going to **die**", I thought. Killed in my dream. My friends would find me days later, and forget about me in a minute. I never achieved the social life I had hoped for. I was going to die before I even truly lived.

"- What about his eyes? He seems to react to our conversation."

**Yes**.

"- Just the remains of his nervous system. That's what kept him alive until he got here, actually."

I wanted to shout at them! "You can't just do this to me, treat me like a corpse! I want to live, this is a mistake!" Not a single word came out of my mouth. So I gave up and kept listening, my eyes shaky from the adrenaline rush.

"- Let me just check him for a minute before I give you the permission to do it.", said the first one.

I didn't allow myself to hope, and kept thinking about my short sad life. It really was a miserable way to leave, I had always hoped for better.
The doctor checked my pulse, breath, and did other things I didn't see. At some point I heard him whisper to my ear "I hope we're not making a mistake. If we are, I'm sorry."

My brain went hysterical after this one; hadn't it been for the paralysis, I would've burst out laughing. But I stood as still as I had been for the past few minutes, and permission to kill me was granted. This doctor had just sentenced me to death.

A button was pushed, and the last thing I heard was the place and time of my death.

I slowly regained control of my body, which was sweaty, thirsty, hungry and still under the effect of the huge adrenaline rush. First thing tomorrow, I'll punch my best friend in the face. "

Thanks for reading my first short story here and please report any mistakes because my first language is French and I want to learn. Thanks!

title: A Lucid Night

question: Who is the narrator of the story?

answer: The narrator of the story is the main character, who was trying to achieve a lucid dream but found herself paralyzed in a hospital bed where she is eventually told she will soon die.

answer: The narrator is a man who learned about lucid dreams from a friend and tries it out.

answer: The narrator of the story is an individual dreaming of their death.

question: Why are the doctors examining him?

answer: They are letting his family take his life because he's brain dead.

answer: He's in a coma or dead: his family has given permission to pull the plug.

answer: In his dream, he has been in the hospital for more than a week with life threatening injuries. Only his nervous system was alive according to the doctors. His family requested the doctors to give him peace.

question: Why was his body paralyzed?

answer: He had entered what he thought was just a lucid dream.

answer: His body was in a sleep state while his mind was awake.

answer: He passed out due to an extreme panic attack.

text: It is not true he passed out due to a panic attack

refinement: Actually he is dreaming but he thinks he is comatose.

question: What is the doctors' conclusion after their examination?

answer: After their examination, the doctor's conclusion is that despite the death of the brain, the hero can speak and move his body voluntarily.

text: The doctor's conclusion is that the main character is brain-dead and the plug should be pulled.

refinement: After their examination, the doctor's conclusion is that despite the death of the brain, the hero can speak and move his body voluntarily.

answer: After their examination, the doctors conclude that the main character's body has stopped functioning on the impact, and that the main character's eyes are the remains of his nervous system.

answer: Their conclusion is to continue with switching off the machines. They hope that they are not making a mistake. They pronounce his time of death.

question: Does the man die?

answer: In his dream, he hears his time of death. He then wakes up from his dream.

answer: No, he realizes he was in a coma.

text: Actually he was dreaming

answer: Yes, but not at first. His panic causes him to prematurely reach death, but he is revived.

text: He does not prematurely reach death

question: Why does he want to punch his best friend in the face?

answer: He blames his friend for the harrowing experience.

text: No content.

refinement: He blames his friend for the harrowing experience.

text: No content

refinement: He blames his friend for the harrowing experience.

question: Write a ~6 sentence summary.

answer: A man hears about lucid dreams from his best friend and decides to try it out that same night. He successfully reaches a lucid state while sleeping, his body feels paralyzed, he is scared. Men in white coats approach him and discuss his vegetative state. The doctors proceed with switching off the machines keeping him alive. He hears his own time of death announced. He wakes up from his dream and decides to punch his best friend.

answer: The narrator's friend tells him about lucid dreaming, a new technique he has discovered on the internet. So, the narrator gives it a go. After 20 minutes of struggling, his body stops functioning. It seems like somebody is checking him. After they leave, the narrator believes he is going to die. Then he has the consciousness to get to his feet, and as he goes to punch his friend in the face, he wakes up.

text: He punches him in the face

refinement: The narrator's friend tells him about lucid dreaming, a new technique he has discovered on the internet. So, the narrator gives it a go. After 20 minutes of struggling, his body stops functioning. It seems like somebody is checking him. After they leave, the narrator believes he is going to die. Then he has the consciousness to get to his feet, and as wakes up and decides to punch his friend in the face.

answer: The protagonist's best friend discovers a trick online to help lucid dreaming. He is able to fall asleep without dreams, and in doing so, achieves lucid dreaming. He tells the protagonist about this trick. The protagonist tries it the same evening, but fails. His body goes into a sleeping paralysis and his dream-world consciousness takes over. He is interrupted by two people dressed in hospital garb. They pronounce him clinically dead. A doctor asks for permission to kill him, and he watches the interactions around him. He returns to life, answering the doctor's question in his mind before the doctor asks him off of course.

answer: The narrator goes on about his best friend's experience with lucid dreaming. The narrator tries to use this method and finds himself panicking as he falls into a frozen state. He is transported to the hospital and is told that his body is in a comatose state. The last thing he hears is the scheduled time of his death. After the doctor only seemed to confirm the scheduled death, the narrator regains control of his body and minds and hopes he can change his thoughts and body accordingly.

answer: The narrator was telling his best friend about a trick for lucid dreaming. The trick is dreaming while physically awake. It causes physical apnea. The same night the narrator tries the trick but faints. He thinks he is paralysed and potentially dead. He is dragged to a hospital where he is found unconscious. He wakes up and texts his friend that he will punch him in the face.

text: He does not text his friend

refinement: The narrator was telling his best friend about a trick for lucid dreaming. The trick is dreaming while physically awake. It causes physical apnea. The same night the narrator tries the trick but faints. He thinks he is paralysed and potentially dead. He is dragged to a hospital where he is found unconscious. He wakes up and decides he will punch him in the face.

answer:
The narrator relays the secret to lucid dreaming to the narrator.
The narrator tries it and has a lucid dream, only to be put on a hospital bed and given a death sentence. The narrator wakes up mesmerized with his short life, but manages to identify his nurse. He thanking forgetting the experience quickly and making his best friend's life miserable, due to what the narrator did in the dream.


text:
A unknown person, without name, lives in a cave. Far away from the urban. The person eats meat, and plants, drinks water, and that all from the cave. The person always got a smile ready, and got no prejudices. The person is dumped by there parents when the person was only 6 years old. He look to the birds every day, and feeling not very lonely because there was always some birds in the cave.

But, on a day, someone else was entering in the cave. A other person, what crying and crying.

The person was surprised, and says: Why you're here? Why you're cry?

The crying person: I'm feeling my sad, so sad that I can't even use a word for it.

The person give the crying person a stone scale with water, and asking: Why you're then here? Why you're feel sad?

The crying person was crying harder, and says: Nobody support my, the society not, my family not, and even my parents not. There never supported my with my wish to life just so normal as the rest of the society. I'm just a person who is in a luxury prison, and feeling hopeless and see no escape about it. My dream was also my last hope what making my positive, but because everybody blocking it, I not believe in hope anymore, its all nonsense.

The person seeing how the tears of the crying person drying out, and asking: Why you're here?

The crying person says: Because, I was look to a place to end it all. There is much pains in my life, and I can't restart living on a better, happy way.

The person was become emotional and says: Well, you can restart you life here, and you dream also can be true here. You soul is heavy ruined, and here you can repair it. Do what you will, say what you will say, you're free here to be yourself and make you dreams to a true.

The crying person begins to again cry, but the tears are tears of happiness, and was saying: Very very much thanks, finally a escape, and a good escape.

title: Happiness & Hopeless (First 'short' story, inspirited a bit by my past)

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Who are the major characters in the story?

answer: a person, another person

text: It is possible to separate the people

answer: The major characters are the nameless person living in the cave and the person crying in the cave. The crying person expresses feeling hopeless and without a sense of hope. The nameless person gives the crying person encouragement in the form of a stone scale with water and tells the other person that they can start again, repair their soul, and make their dreams come true.

text: A unknown person, without name, lives in a cave.

text: But, on a day, someone else was entering in the cave. A other person, what crying and crying.

text: The person give the crying person a stone scale with water,

text: The person was become emotional and says: Well, you can restart you life here, and you dream also can be true here

answer: The first character is a guy who was abandoned by his family when he was 6 years old now living in a cave. The second is a girl who tried to do something positive but never found support and decided to end her life in that cave.

text: There is no evidence that the second person is female

refinement: The first character is a guy who was abandoned by his family when he was 6 years old now living in a cave. The second is a person who tried to do something positive but never found support and decided to end their life in that cave.

answer: The major characters in the story are the unknown person in the cave and the crying person.

text: A unknown person, without name, lives in a cave.

text: But, on a day, someone else was entering in the cave. A other person, what crying and crying.

answer: The other person wanting to kill themselves.

text: There are two people

refinement: A crying person wanting to kill themselves and an unknown person.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Why does the girl cry at the end?

answer: She finds some form of support and cries out of happiness.

text: We don't know that the crying person is a girl

refinement: The crying person finds some form of support and cries out of happiness.

text: The crying person begins to again cry, but the tears are tears of happiness, and was saying: Very very much thanks, finally a escape, and a good escape.

answer: The girl cries because she was feeling hopeless and believed she had no possible escape. However, the person in the cave offers her a new chance and the promise of something better. This offer gives her hope for the first time in her life.

text: The crying person begins to again cry, but the tears are tears of happiness, and was saying: Very very much thanks, finally a escape, and a good escape.

answer: She finds the man in the cave. Her parents never supported her and she was looking for a cave to commit suicide.

text: This does not adequately answer the question

refinement: THe crying person cries tears of happiness in the end because the man has given her hope of an escape.

answer: This is not answered, though it may be implied that the girl is grateful for the cave person's help.

text: This is answered

refinement: THe crying person cries tears of happiness in the end because the man has given her hope of an escape.

answer: The girl cries at the end because she feels hopeless in her current situation. However, the mysterious person reveals that she is free to make her dreams reality and repair her soul in this new place. The girl is overcome with happiness at this revelation and ceases her crying.

text: There is no evidence that she stops crying

refinement: The girl cries at the end because she feels hopeless in her current situation. However, the mysterious person reveals that she is free to make her dreams a reality and repair her soul in this new place. The girl cries tears of happiness.

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

What time period does the story take place in?

answer: The story takes place in the present or a contemporary setting.

text: there is no evidence to support this

refinement: The story takes place in the present or a contemporary setting.

answer: Not answered in document

answer: We don't know for sure, but the cave is far from the urban, so possibly medieval times?

answer: It's not really hinted at in the story except to say urban areas exist. This could be anywhere from the 19th century to the 21st.

text: This contention is not supported

refinement: It's not really hinted at in the story except to say urban areas exist. This could be anywhere from the 19th century to the 21st.

answer: The story takes place in modern day.

text: there is no evidence that this is modern day

question:
Answer the following question based on the above passage:

Who is the protagonist?

answer: A person who lives in a cave alone and is not named.

answer: The protagonist is the unknown person living in a cave.

answer: The protagonist is the person who is dwelling in the cave and looking after the other who is only called by "the crying person".

text: grammar

refinement: The protagonist is the person who is dwelling in the cave and looking after the other who is only called "the crying person".

answer: The guy living in the cave.

answer: The protagonist is the unknown person living in the cave.

question: Write a ~4 sentence summary.

answer: A nameless character lives alone in a cave away from civilization. One day, another person comes into their cave crying. The nameless character offers the crying person some water and a rock to scale with. The crying person admits to feeling hopeless and sees no escape. However the nameless character encourages the crying person, saying they can start over and repair their soul here. The crying person becomes happy and starts to believe in hope once again.

answer: A mysterious person lives in a cave and feeds themselves with plants and animals. One day, another person enters the cave crying and saying they are hopeless. The mysterious person gives the crying person a stone scale with water, and tells them they can restart their life in this cave. The crying person is happy to know there is hope and begins to cry tears of happiness.

answer: A guy who got abandoned by his family at 6 lives in a cage, content with the company of birds. A sad girl who never found the support she wanted from anyone in her life runs away to his cave to end her life. Hearing of her plight, he tells her that she's free to do anything there. Hearing she can restart her life, she cries out of happiness.

text: There is no evidence that the crying person is a girl

refinement: A guy who got abandoned by his family at 6 lives in a cage, content with the company of birds. A crying person who never found the support they wanted from anyone in their life comes to his cave to end their life. He tells the crying person that they're free to do anything. Hearing they can restart their life, they shed tears of happiness.

answer: A person, who has lived in a cave since they were six years old, meets another person who had come there to kill themselves. The person prompts the suicidal one to start anew, saying they are free to become themselves there. The suicidal one is happy to be rescued, and cries tears of joy.

answer: A person lives in a cave and supports themselves by hunting and gathering. The other person they find in their cave is terribly sad and wants to kill himself - so he offers hope. The other person realizes he wants to be there and wants to see what it would be like for himself. Eventually the other person calms down and doesn't commit suicide.

text: This assumes that the other person is male

refinement: A person lives in a cave and supports themselves by hunting and gathering. The other person they find in their cave is terribly sad and wants to kill themselves - so he offers hope. The other person realizes that they want to be there and wants to see what it would be like for themselves. Eventually, the other person calms down and doesn't commit suicide.

text: The piece is a bit clumsy and could do with improvements

refinement: A person lives in a cave and supports themselves by hunting and gathering. Another terribly sad person enters the cave to kill themselves - so he offers hope. When the sad person realizes that there is an escape, they cry tears of happiness.