text:
The following dialogue was originally spoken in Spanish, and was discovered on my voice recorder, which I'd left running on a cafe table in Ecuador. It was translated by my friend Gabe.

"Ha! You call that trouble? That's not trouble. Real trouble has all kinds of parts and pieces. Your uncle Victor - he is in real trouble." the voice of a middle aged non-smoking beer drinker.

"Why - his shop go under?" the voice of a 14 or 15 year old boy between bites. The older man isn't eating.

"No. But that shop - I shouldn't be telling you this but maybe you will learn something.  That shop - it's a good shop.  It won’t go under.  But it was all paid for, the shop, the license, the van, the fish tank, the goddam fish - all paid for with borrowed money.  Even the house, probably.  See, your uncle's girl, the one you kids call Kitty, her father gives Victor a big, big loan."

That was what first caught my ear on the recording.  I wanted to know what was "Corona corona".

"So he marries her.  Now we all like this girl. She's a nice girl.  Your uncle likes it in Lima.  Business is doing well.  Everything is fine, right?"

"Okay."

"Not okay.  See what happens.  He moves down there, gets a house.  Kitty lets her sister move in.  This sister has no job, been out of school for two months and has no job, no boyfriend, no car.  She asks for a job at the shop.  Your uncle tells her it is a one man business."

"She burn down his shop or something?"

"Just wait. I'm gonna teach you subtlety. You know what subtlety is?"

"Yes."

"First day of work, the sister comes in with a friend, orders a coke and a fortune scroll, the friend leaves, she stays.  One hour, two hours, all day she's standing at the counter making small talk, commenting on TV stuff, telling customers their kids are cute, things like this. Whatever. “

“Because she didn’t get the job?”

“No, because she is stupid and has nothing better to do.  Anyway, the opening goes good.  Big celebration in the basement.  Fine.  Now the second day, this sister -"

"Donna."

"What Donna."

"The sister. Her name is Donna."

"Okay, Donna."

"She's cool."

"You think she's cool because she acts your age.  But she's not your age.  Now the second day she comes in stoned or something and doesn't order anything, not even a coke.  She's by herself, standing there, talking your uncle's ears off, and he's laughing and being nice, starting to wonder if this is going to be an everyday thing.  So now a friend comes in, a new friend, an important man in Lima, who your uncle likes and respects, and they do business.  He places a big order.  They have a valuable conversation and shake hands.  Now listen good."

"I'm listening."

"I know you're listening.  Listen good.  On the way out of the shop, this sister, cool Donna, she asks the man for a cigarette."

"...Okay."

"Okay? You think that's okay?"

"She burn down the shop or something?"

"No. He didn't give her a cigarette.  See you kids always need impact.  A valuable conversation and a handshake doesn't have enough impact.  Begging customers for cigarettes has no impact.  Well the rest of the day she's following people outside, asking every other person for a fucking cigarette.  Coming back and being friendly.  Your uncle is friendly back – he doesn't know what to do.  Boys come in and try to get a handjob.  All day it’s like highschool cafeteria in there. He says something to his wife. To Kitty. And now he's in big trouble.  Because Serena, Kitty, she talks to the sister.  The sister don't want to hear it.  Brings all kinds of old stuff into it.  Things your uncle doesn't have anything to with.  But his whole life is on loan from this girl's father."

"Kitty's dad is some kind of shark huh?"

"See.  Again with impact.  No he is just a business man.  Don't you see the subtleties at play here?  These two girls go at it all night.  The sister is crying, blaming things, saying sorry, talking about killing herself. Talking crazy. And that’s just the two sisters.  Who knows what she tells the muchachos about her brother in law. Maybe one day money starts disappearing or windows breaking."

"Shit."

"Yeah shit.  And there's little things.  Like, the only bathroom is in the bedroom, so she's in and out of their room all night, apologizing, crying in the bathroom, asking to use the cellphone, yelling into the cellphone.  Your uncle gets fed up in the morning over I don't know, some food or something, and now he's the bad guy. That’s only day three. On day four these sisters start talking, and start wondering, you know, because they never fought like this.  Super Cool Donna was a good girl, just had some bad luck. Just needs to get on her feet.  Now this Victor fellow comes down from Ecuador, won’t help, gets all uppity on her, has the sisters fighting.  And your aunt Serena she don't know which way is up."

"Uncle Victor's way is up. Where the money is is up"

"Their father has the real money.  Sometimes I bet Victor feels like his way is down."

"So what's the point? He coming back to Quito?"

"No. There is no point. But that's the point.

“…”

"What if I told you this girl Donna felt slighted by her family all her life, maybe that they'd played favorites with your aunt Kitty?"

"Well,"

"Or that the reason they slighted her is some shit she pulled when she was a kid.

“I don’t know.”

“Or that it turns out she hadn't really pulled any shit that day, but was just covering for your aunt Kitty?"

"How do you know?"

"I don't know. I made those last three things up, but that's the point.  There is no point.  Life is a crazy goddam circle. No up or down.  No time to talk about these things until they hit you on the fucking head.  Its a fucking wheel Jose, all in flux, and we just got to keep it moving.  You like stories that end like that?"

"Like what?"

"With no point except that there is no point."

"Not really."

"Well. You better start liking stories like that."

title: I used to only write about my life, but I finally made up a short story. It is only a couple pages. Anyone care to read it? I think it is great!

question: Summarize the primary source of tension in the story.

answer: The tension in the story is mostly caused by the middle-aged man's questions to the boy. The boy has no idea what the man is talking about and the man has to explain everything in the story.

critique: The response misses to mention that the tension is caused by the narrator's uncle borrowing money from the girl's father to start a business, and the narrator's sister Donna moving in with them and causing trouble.

critique: The central tension in the story is the narrator trying to learn how Uncle Victor and Kitty's relationship progressed from unimpeded happiness to full-blown turmoil via overheard gossip about some blowhard down in Lima who loaned Uncle Victor all the capital he needed to start a fish-foods business. The gossip consists of middle-aged grapevine-hopping twerps detailed the supposed movements, motives, and manipulations of the central figures, interspersed with the narrator's own juvenile musings. The narrator's cupidity shows in their desire to know when their friend's store will burn down so they can get a cut of his insurance, or lodge a claim or something.

critique: The response inaccurately states that the middle-aged man is asking the boy questions. However, the man is telling the boy a story.

critique: The answer should mention the source of tension between the sisters.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The tension in the story is caused by the narrator's uncle borrowing money from his girlfriend's father and then marrying her.

critique: The tension in the story is caused by the narrator's uncle borrowing money from Kitty's father and then marrying her.

text: The answer misses to mention that the tension is caused when the boy's uncle borrows money from his father in law.

question: Summarize how the main character changes over the story.

answer: No answer

question: What does the story say about life?

answer: No answer

critique: There is a clear answer to this question: the story discusses the notion of life being a circle, with no real "start" or "end".

question: Summarize the relationship between the older man and the boy in the café in Ecuador.

answer: The boy is the narrator's nephew, and the older man is telling him a story. The narrator is trying to teach the boy about life, and the boy is interested in hearing what he has to say.

critique: The older man isn't the narrator's uncle.


split: train

text:
GARHI YASIN SINDH ( __, __) is a town and taluka of Shikarpur District, Sindh, Pakistan.

One of the three talukas (sub-districts) of Shikarpur, Garhi Yasin is of political and historical significance to Pakistan. On 1 June 1977 the old Shikarpur subdivision, consisting of the two talukas of Shikarpur and Garhiyasin, was separated from Sukkur District, and a new District Shikarpur was created and attached to Larkana Division.

Garhi Yasin is an extremely wealthy town located in the north of Sindh province of Pakistan. It is the second largest town of the district Shikarpur, having population of more than 14,000. Garhi Yasin is situated on the right bank of River Indus. Garhi Yasin region has always been important because of proximity of Shikarpur, a place that commanded the trade route through the Bolan Pass, and its merchants had dealings with many towns in Central Asia.

Garhi Yasin taluka comprises two main towns Dakhan, Madeji and some main villages Haji Rohelo Khan Jaffri, and Bado. Garhi Yasin has produced Politicians, Civil Servants, like Agha Siraj Khan Durrani, Speaker of Sindh assembly and Agha Rafique Khan Durrani former chief justice of sharia law and Chairman of the SPSC. The town is named after its founder Yasin Khan Pathan. Sindhi is the common language of the people in this region. The Jamali, Jaffri, Mangi, Marfani Kalhora, Mughal, Pirzada, Rajar, Seelro, Wadhio, Chandio, Memon, Sindhi Hindu, Soomra, Shaikh, Khakhrani, Syed, Mirani, Qazi, Bhutta, Lashari, Rahooja, Bhatti, Mahar, Jakhro, Kakepota, Arain, Mangi, Malik, Ghori, Rajpoot, Bhayo Tribe, Dharejo and Aawaan. With the Pathan (Durrani, Babar & Barak zai) From which the Durrani tribe being the strongest both politically and by land. After the independence from British India, Many Hindu and Sikh clans migrated to India. There also Hindus settled in Garhi Yasin. One of the Chiefs of Ghari Yasin; is Agha Affan Durrani holding tremendous political power and known to be influential all over the country.

Education

The town has a Higher Secondary School Agha Badaruddin Khan Durrani and three high schools, several primary schools, a Mono Technique School and a vocational School for typing, commercial, computer etc.

Agriculture

A considerable part of the area is irrigated. Major productions of the area are rice, wheat and pulses beside Maize, sugarcane, vegetables fruits etc.

Industry

It has a small market and manufactures of handicrafts, metal ware, furniture, bricks and pottery. Hand-loom weaving of the area used to be very popular. Rilly of Garhi Yasin is very popular in all over Sindh and making a good variety of Sindhi topi and Balochi Rilly in different models.

Land

It is chiefly alluvial plain. The lands are greatly suffered after construction of barrage at Sukkur and being rapidly converted into salt lands (Kalar). Waterlogging and salinity is a major problem of Garhi Yasin. The climate is very hot as it reached 49°C last year 2016, dry and enervating. Winter in mild and is best time to visit this town.

Category:Populated places in Sindh Category:Shikarpur District

title: Garhi Yasin

question: What does the article say about the demographics of Garhi Yasin?

answer: It has a population of more than 14,000 and is one of the two largest towns in the district of Shikarpur. Sindhi is the lingua franca. The lists of subgroups are: The Jamali, Jaffri, Mangi & Marfani Kalhora, Mughal, Pirzada, Rajar, Seelro, Wadhio, Chandio, Memon, Sindhi Hindu, Soomra, Shaikh, Khakhrani, Syed & Mirani, Qazi, Bhutta, Lashari, Rahooja, Bhatti, Mahar, Jakhro, Kakepota, Arain, Mangi, Malik, Ghori, Rajpoot, Bahyo Tribe, Dharjo & Aawaan. Agha Affn Durrani holds some political power as the chief of Garhi Yasin.

critique: The answer lists a lot of information that is not relevant to the question.

critique: This is all irrelevant, so the right answer is not to repeat it.

critique: Unnecessary information which should be removed to make the response useful

critique: This is not relevant to the question and should be omitted.

critique: The answer should be edited to be more clear and accurate.

critique: The answer is a list of subgroups, not a list of demographics.

critique: The answer is mostly irrelevant and should be omitted.

critique: The last two sentences are not relevant to the question.

critique: Have added the part about political power

critique: The list of subgroups is irrelevant to the question.

critique: Garhi Yasin's population is not relevant to the question

critique: The response incorrectly lists several villages as having subgroups.

question: What does the article say about the zoning laws in Garhi Yasin?

answer: No answer

critique: The question is not answered, but zoning laws are not mentioned in the article.

critique: Does not mention anything about zoning laws, but the article should since it's an essential feature of urbanization.

critique: No right to answer since it is a missing detail.

critique: There is no mention of zoning laws in the article.

critique: "No answer" - is an incorrect response to the question.

critique: There is no mention of zoning laws in Garhi Yasin.

critique: There is no information about zoning laws in Garhi Yasin.


text:
In a season full of holiday spectacle, the rarely performed _The Second Shepherds’ Play_ stands out for its sweet simplicity. With only a small three-piece band of expert musicians and modest, yet effective, staging and design, director and adapter Mary Hall Surface and her cast create a gentle bit of Christmas magic that is uniquely their own.

Dating back to the Middle Ages, _The Second Shepherds’ Play_ is a piece from the mystery cycles, a series of European liturgical dramas that followed the events of the bible. Members of craft guilds performed these plays once a year over the course of several days, with each guild responsible for one section of the cycle. _The Second Shepherds’ Play _is one of the most famous of the surviving mystery plays, due to its unusual focus on everyday people (rather than biblical characters) and mix of low farce and high religion.

[Ryan Sellers and Tonya Beckman in the 2016 production of The Second Shepherd's Play at Folger Theatre (Photo: Brittany Diliberto)]
Ryan Sellers and Tonya Beckman in the 2016 production of _The Second Shepherd’s Play_ at Folger Theatre (Photo: Brittany Diliberto)
The play follows the journey of three shepherds in the hours before the birth of Christ. They are searching for one of their finest and fattest sheep, which has been stolen by the comically scheming Mak (Ryan Sellers). Mak, who has stolen the sheep to feed his family, and his wife Gill (Tonya Beckman) hide the sheep from its owners by putting it in a cradle and pretending Gill has just given birth (mirroring the image of infant Jesus in the manger). The ruse is discovered, but rather than have Mak severely punished, the shepherds opt to show him mercy. Here, the tone takes a sudden serious shift. As if summoned by the shepherds’ choice to be merciful, an angel (Emily Noël ) appears bringing news of  Christ’s birth. The shepherds journey to Bethlehem to meet the child and offer gifts and blessings.

[Matthew R. Wilson (left), Megan Graves, and Louis E. Davis sing along to a medieval English tune played by musicians Robert Eisenstein, Daniel Meyers, and Brian Kay in The Second Shepherds’ Play. at Folger Theatre (Photo: Brittany Diliberto)]
Matthew R. Wilson (left), Megan Graves, and Louis E. Davis sing along to a medieval English tune played by musicians Robert Eisenstein, Daniel Meyers, and Brian Kay in The Second Shepherds’ Play. at Folger Theatre (Photo: Brittany Diliberto)
Likewise, the farcical elements (which are of the “take my wife, please” variety) may not appeal to modern audiences, especially those interested in plays that better represent women. These scenes read like less sophisticated versions of The Honeymooners or the Marx Brothers. Which is both delightful, in that there is such familiarity in a script from the Middle Ages, and difficult in that the humor is casually misogynistic and a bit too under-developed to be out-and-out hilarious in contemporary times. But for those who are interested, you could hardly find a better introduction to medieval era theatre and music.

The key to the success of this production is the warmth and affection the artists bring to the material. Surface and ensemble balance the low farce with sincerity and modest production elements that feel at home in the world of this play. The set (Tony Cisek) has just a few key elements that suggest the outdoor stages and wagons on which the mystery plays were originally produced. The costumes (Adalia Tonneyck) look homespun. Simple and clever effects, such as using ribbons to represent wind, and the use of puppetry provide just the right touch of theatre magic.

_The Second Shepherds’ Play_ is produced by Folger Consort, the Folger Shakespeare Library’s early music ensemble, and right from the beginning when the trio of musicians and their period instruments (Robert Eisenstein on fiddle, viol and recorder, Brian Kay on lute, lyre and komuz, and Daniel Meyers on recorder, flute, bagpipe, and other instruments) take the stage it is clear that music will be central to this production. Surface and music director Eisenstein have interspersed the text with medieval-era music, both instrumentals and carols. The carols are sung with spirit by the cast, though not always with perfect pitch. Most notable is the lovely voice of the featured singer Emily Noël who also brings her soaring soprano to the role of the Angel. The music of the era is rhythmic and features multiple interwoven melodies at the same time, similar to rounds. It is the kind of celebratory music that beckons you to clap, sing and dance along – perfect for the holiday season.

_The Second Shepherds’ Play_ may not appeal to all contemporary theatre-goers, but it is a delightful holiday present to audiences looking for a Christmas play that is warm-hearted and sincere.

————————

_The Second Shepherds’ Play,_ adapted and directed by Mary Hall Surface. Music Direction by Robert Eisenstein. Featuring Tonya Beckman, Danny Cackley, Louis E. Davis, Robert Eisenstein, Megan Graves, Brian Kay, Daniel Meyers, Emily Noël, Lilian Oben, Malinda Kathleen Reese, Ryan Sellars, Matthew R. Wilson. Scenic Designer: Tony Cisek. Lighting Designer: Andrew Cissna. Costumer: Adalia Tonneyck. Puppet Designer: Aaron Crombie. Choreographer: Emma Jaster. Produced by Folger Consort. Reviewed by Amy Couchoud.

question: What does the article say about the play's appeal to a modern audience?

answer: The play has a unique focus on everyday people (rather than biblical characters) and a mix of low farce and high religion. The play's tone shifts suddenly to serious after the shepherds opt to show Mak mercy. The play's humor may not appeal to modern audiences, especially those interested in plays that better represent women. The play's farcical elements are of the "take my wife, please" variety and are casually misogynistic and underdeveloped. However, for those who are interested, it could hardly be found as a better introduction to medieval era theater and music.

critique: The first sentence is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The play's humor is not casually misogynistic.

critique: This is not what the article says about the play's appeal to a modern audience.

critique: The play's humor is not the only thing that may not appeal to modern audiences. The play's farcical elements are also casually misogynistic.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the play's farcical features are in the "take my wife, please" variety when it is "take my husband, please". The passage also does not state this. However, the play does have some elements of the take my husband variety.

critique: The play's appeal is not in its focus on everyday people or its mix of low farce and high religion, but rather in its warmth and affection, which balances the low farce with sincerity, modest production elements, and period music.

critique: The play's humor is not casually misogynistic and underdeveloped.

question: Summarize everything relating to religion.

answer: The Second Shepherds' Play is one of the most famous of the surviving mystery plays. It follows the journey of three shepherds in the hours before the birth of Christ. An angel appears and brings news of Christ's birth, and the shepherds journey to Bethlehem to meet the child and offer gifts and blessings.

critique: The answer should mention the play's religious humor.

question: Summarize everything relating to the play's origins.

answer: The play dates back to the Middle Ages. It is one of the most famous of the surviving mystery plays. Its unusual focus on everyday people and mix of low farce and high religion make it unique. The play follows the journey of three shepherds in the hours before the birth of Christ.

critique: The answer does not directly answer the question.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The answer should mention the mystery cycles.

question: Summarize everything relating to the play's original cast.

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the original cast is not mentioned.

critique: The answer should mention the play's original cast members.


text:
BRUCE EDWARD DAVIS, II (born September 2, 1985) is a former American football linebacker and defensive end. He played college football at UCLA And was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the third round (88th overall) of the 2008 NFL Draft. In his rookie season, he helped the Steelers defeat the Arizona Cardinals in Super Bowl XLIII.

Davis was also a member of the Oakland Raiders, and is the son of former NFL offensive tackle Bruce Davis, Sr.

Early years

Davis attended Clear Creek High School in League City, Texas. As a junior, he made 32 tackles, including eight sacks. He earned All-Greater Houston area and All-League honors after he recorded 65 tackles (50 solo), 12 quarterback sacks and 17 tackles for loss as a senior.

College career

At the University of California, Los Angeles, Davis played defensive end. He redshirted his freshman year in 2003. In 2004, he played in all 12 games, starting the first two contests, at defensive end. He had 17 tackles and 2.5 sacks. In 2005 Davis moved to outside linebacker from defensive end during the spring and played both positions early in the season before moving back to end due to injuries on the team. He appeared in all 12 games and his 28 tackles for the season and was tied for third on the team with two sacks and was sixth with six tackles for losses. As a junior in 2006, he was named first-team All-American by CollegeFootballNews.com and SI.com and he was selected second team All-Pacific-10 Conference. On the year, Davis made 47 tackles, with 12.5 sacks and 17.5 tackles for loss. In 2007, he was a Second-team All-American choice by The NFL Draft Report and the Walter Camp Foundation and was first-team All-Pac-10 Conference. He was a semifinalist for the Bednarik Award and was on the watch lists for the Lott, Nagurski, Lombardi and Hendriks Awards. He started all 13 games at right defensive end, ranking tied for ninth in the nation and tied for first in the league with 12 sacks. He ranked sixth in the Pac-10 with 15.5 stops for losses. On the year he recorded 45 tackles (32 solos) caused two fumbles and recovered another and deflected nine passes and defensed 3 others.

Davis ranks second in school history with 29 quarterback sacks, topped only by Dave Ball’s 30.5 (2000–03). His 42.5 stops for losses rank third in school annals behind Ball (43.5) and Carnell Lake (45.5, 1985–88).

Professional career

Pre-draft

Pittsburgh Steelers

Davis was drafted by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the third round (88th overall) of the 2008 NFL Draft.[1] After being drafted by the Steelers, he was converted to outside linebacker in the Steelers' 3-4 defense, though faced difficulty in the transition, as he was inactive for most of his rookie season. He was waived on September 4, 2009.[2]

New England Patriots

Davis was signed to the New England Patriots practice squad on October 7, 2009.[3] After spending the remainder of the season on the practice squad, he was re-signed to a future contract on January 13, 2010.[4] The Patriots waived Davis on May 27, 2010.[5]

Denver Broncos

Davis was claimed off waivers by the Denver Broncos on June 1, 2010.[6] He was waived on July 27.[7]

San Francisco 49ers

Davis was signed by the San Francisco 49ers on August 10, 2010.[8] On September 3, 2010, Davis was cut from the 53-player roster that would go on to play regular season games.[9] The 49ers then re-signed him to their practice squad on September 5, 2010;[10] he was released from his contract nine days later.[11] He was re-signed to the practice squad on September 22.

Oakland Raiders

On October 5, 2010, the Oakland Raiders signed Davis to their active roster to help bolster the team's injury-depleted linebacker corps.[12] He was waived a year later on October 13, 2011.[13]

Cincinnati Bengals

On November 23, 2011 the Cincinnati Bengals signed Davis to their practice squad.[14]

Second Stint With the 49ers

On January 3, 2012, the San Francisco 49ers signed Davis to their practice squad.[15]

Hamilton Tiger-Cats

On August 4, 2012, Davis was signed by the Hamilton Tiger-Cats and assigned to their practice squad.[16] On August 16, he was promoted to the active roster and started his first career game vs. Winnipeg.

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title: Bruce Davis (linebacker)

question: Describe some interesting facts about Davis's playing career in college.

answer: Davis played college football at UCLA. He earned All-Greater Houston area and All-League honors.  In his junior year, he was named first-team All-American by CollegeFootballNews.com and SI.com and he was selected second team All-Pacific-10 Conference.

critique: "In his junior year, he was named first-team All-American by CollegeFootballNews.com and SI.com and he was selected second team All-Pacific-10 Conference." - this is inaccurate. Davis was named first-team All-American by CollegeFootballNews.com and SI.com in his senior year.

critique: It is omitted that he was a semifinalist for the Bednarik Award and was on the watch lists for the Lott, Nagurski, Lombardi and Hendriks Awards.

critique: The answer fails to mention his other honors.

critique: This only covers his junior year. It should be mentioned that he was also an All-American in 2006, his junior year as well.

question: Describe Davis's professional career.

answer: As a junior, Davis made 32 tackles. When at college, he was All-American choice. He was also named first-team All-American. He was second in school history. He was a semifinalist for the award. This was the first award he was nominated for. Then he played with a professional team known as the Raiders.

critique: The answer omits the New England Patriots, Denver Broncos, San Francisco 49ers, and Cincinnati Bengals.

critique: The answer should mention his time with the Steelers.

critique: The answer should mention Davis's NFL career.

critique: The last sentence is not relevant to the question.

critique: "When at college" - is incorrect. He redshirted his freshman year and appeared in 12 games.

text: "He was second in school history" is incoherent

category: coherence

refinement: As a junior, Davis made 32 tackles. When at college, he was All-American choice. He was also named first-team All-American. He was second in school history. He was a semifinalist for the award. This was the first award he was nominated for. Then he played with a professional team known as the Raiders.

question: Which professional football team did Davis enjoy playing for the most in his career?

answer: Apparently it was the Pittsburgh Steelers as a rookie during his first year in the NFL Draft.

critique: Davis was waived by the Steelers in 2009

critique: "as a rookie during his first year in the NFL Draft." - not the Steelers, but Davis' first team was apparently popular as he was converted to outside linebacker in the Steelers' 3-4 defense early during his rookie season.

critique: This is not necessarily a correct answer to the question. The answer provided is an assumption that Davis enjoyed playing for the Steelers the most. The question asks which team he enjoyed playing for the most in his career, which means he could have enjoyed playing for other teams as well.


text:
**The Theater**

While I was sitting outside the coffee shop across from the theater, I overheard a woman’s conversation with what appeared to be her boyfriend. I was waiting for my ride home, so I decided to people watch to pass the time. This woman’s conversation kept catching my ear, however, and I decided to listen for a bit.

The woman spoke to her boyfriend about her children, telling him how one of them is just so funny when you get him talking about something he’s interested in, and how smart her daughter is. She told him about how her children were doing in school, how she loved them so much, and how they were growing up so fast. The man laughed along and nodded in all the right places, and they seemed to be having a nice time together.

Having heard enough of their conversation to satisfy my curiosity, I looked over at the theater. I admired all the arches and pillars and lights that made up the face of the building, and warmly remembered the theater’s opening week. People crowded the stairs, cars filled the parking lot and the outer walls were immaculate white, red letters shining from above the crystal clear glass of the windows that lined the massive, shining glass doors. Now, looking at the theater, I notices streaks of gray stained down the tops of the walls and dull spots on the windows, dimmed lights where the theater’s name used to shine so brightly.

Although it was a warm June day, the sky was filled with clouds and there was a strong wind. Gulls stood on the light fixtures above the flapping movie banners that hung on the theater’s wall, watching the occasional car meander through the parking lot. Other birds flew through the sky, catching the wind when they could and diving down to the ground before rising back into the sky. I watched them flying and felt happy that birds could be so happily excited by something that they were given by nature. In our own way, humans aren’t so different from the birds. Birds were naturally given flight, and humans were naturally given the tools to create.

I saw a group of children playing on a horizontal column of basalt, playing chicken and pretending the ground was lava. They laughed and smiled, having fun in the warm wind as I observed from a distance. The children were supervised by one of their fathers, and although there was so much fun being had around him, he looked bored as he sat watching on the bench carved from basalt across from them.

I looked back at the chatting couple sitting near me and found them kissing. In the moment before I shifted my gaze back to the theater, I caught a flash of gold from the woman’s hand. The ring on her hand had no gem, and was dulled with age. Despite the fact that I didn’t have all of the background on their story, my heart sank at this small detail. I had felt joy at watching a woman who was, to the extent of my knowledge, having an affair with this man.

I glanced back to the theater, gloomily looking at the grayed stairs, disenchanted from the realization that the happy couple was really just a display of infidelity. I saw that the escalators I had once ridden to the gleaming glass doors of the theater were now blocked by yellow tape and perfectly still. The glass roof over the escalators was dulled by rain and sun over the years, making its slow journey to opaqueness. The walls were spotted with brightness in places that were once covered by light fixtures that had long fallen off of it. My eyes slowly rose to the top of the building, where two metal spires reached into the sky, holding in place a great metal circle through which the spot of sun in the clouds shone.

I realized at that moment that I was seeing the building exactly how its imaginer had intended it to be seen, with the sun shining through the centerpiece of his wall. I widened my view to see the whole face of the building as one, rather than as individual, flawed pieces. I was amazed to see how beautiful the building I had been looking at was, and how all of the flaws disappeared when you looked at it all together.

Momentarily in awe, I looked around at all of the people around me.
I caught a glimpse of the couple holding hands, and noticed that the man had a ring to match the woman’s. Along with that, I heard the woman say with a shaky voice how sad she would be when he had to return to serve in the military.

When I looked over to the group of children, I saw the man supervising them smiling and laughing with the children while rounding them up and taking them to his vehicle. I saw the van pull away, carrying the group of children to their little league game.

Then, I heard a tapping sound to my right and saw that a gull had landed on the table next to mine. He pecked up the crumbs left over from the coffee shop’s earlier customers, and flew off again, dipping and rising in the wind.

My ride pulled up in front of the theater and I began walking toward it. I then caught another glimpse of the theater, and was happy to see that it was still as beautiful as it had been during its opening week. My eyes drifted higher and I saw that the sun had slipped from its socket atop the theater, and I smiled, feeling like I had shared a secret with the person who had envisioned the theater.

Although I only rarely see the theater now, I always remember how I felt when I stepped back and saw it for what it really was. I now realize that everything is worth looking at more than once, and that the way you first see things isn’t always how they truly are.

title: My cheesy first short story

question: Summarize all of the animal life that the narrator observes over the course of the story.

answer: The narrator sees gulls standing on light fixtures above movie banners. Other birds fly through the sky, catching the wind and diving down to the ground. They see the gulls land and eat the crumbs left behind by customers of the cafe.

critique: The answer should mention the children playing.

critique: The gulls are not eating the crumbs. They are pecking them up.

critique: The gulls are eating the crumbs left behind by the coffee shop's customers, not the cafe's customers.

critique: The gulls eat the crumbs left by the narrator's coffee shop.

critique: The gulls at the theatre eat crumbs leftover by customers. The word "cafe" should thus be changed to "coffee shop".

question: Summarize the narrator's observations of the couple.

answer: The narrator overhears a woman talking to what appears to be her boyfriend about her children. The narrator sees the couple kissing. The narrator notices that the woman has a ring on her hand, but it has no gem and is dulled with age. The narrator feels sad for the woman because she is having an affair with a man who is married. The narrator sees the couple holding hands and the woman says that she will be sad when the man has to return to serve in the military.

critique: The narrator sees the man holding the children.

critique: The narrator sees the couple kissing, not the woman talking to her boyfriend.

critique: "The narrator overhears a woman talking to what appears to be her boyfriend about her children." - add that the man also had children, based on the fact that two of them were playing next to their dad. Replace "what appears to be her boyfriend" with the man he overheard.

critique: The narrator sees the couple holding hands after he sees the woman's ring.

critique: The narrator's sadness is not relevant to the couple.

critique: "The narrator overhears a woman talking to what appears to be her boyfriend about her children. The narrator sees the couple kissing." - this is incorrect. The narrator was eavesdropping on the couple's conversation, and overheard a woman talking to what appears to be her boyfriend about her children.

question: What does the story say about the narrator's family?

answer: No answer

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator does not have a family.

critique: No answer - there is a response in the response and it should be included.

critique: The narrator's family is not mentioned in the story.

critique: The narrator mentions their family in the story.

question: Summarize the negative emotions the characters feel in this story.

answer: The narrator feels sad when they see a couple kissing and notice that the woman is wearing a ring but she is having an affair. The narrator is also sad when they see a group of children, who are about to play a game, and the father of one of them looks bored rather than excited. The narrator feels sad when they see the man and woman are having a happy time together while they are having an affair.

critique: The narrator is not sad when they see the couple kissing.

critique: The narrator is not sad about the children playing a game.

critique: The narrator's emotions aren't the focus of the story. The emotions belong to the characters.

critique: "The narrator feels sad when they see a group of children," - is incorrect. The parents are having a homerun baseball match and the narrator feels sad for them.

critique: The narrator is not sad at all times in the story.

critique: The narrator is not sad about the children.


text:
The fan moves back and forth. Looking left then right, guarding my room from the things I cannot see. The constant whirr is calming, and reassuring to my restless mind. That is what they tell me anyway. I am restless. I am confused. I am dangerous they say. So I stay in this room, because it is what is good for me. For everyone. But I don’t mind. There’s a very nice bed, and my fan. The whirr is very calming to my restless mind, I’m told.

The people here are very kind, and come to see me often. There is a child down the hall from me that is not very pleasant though. I know all the things she has done. She’s probably sitting in there planning her next act as I speak. That’s why she doesn’t get a nice room like the rest of us. Hers is darker, and there isn’t even a window. I don’t think she’s allowed visitors anymore either. The poor child.

My family, they come to see me every week. Twice a week if I am lucky. They did anyway. Not so often anymore. I always enjoyed when my mother came though. She is most beautiful. At least she was, until one day – Oh, three years ago sounds about right. I’m sorry, I just can’t keep track of time very well in this, ever so nice room. It really is very nice. Anyway, where was I? Oh, my mother! Yes!  We found her at the bottom of the stairs. Her curly, flowing blonde hair, blood streaked, casting an almost beautiful veil of sorts over her face.

“A quick blow to the head”, they said.  “There was no sign of resistance, or struggle.” And she was gone down the spiral staircase, just like that. My mother never liked that staircase.

Personal belongings falling from her bag left a trail to her body. Almost as if it were a child’s game, with a twist at the end. The killer meant for us to find her like that. I know. But no one believes me though. They all just think I’m crazy. I know it was no accident, or fluke. Lipstick and mints don’t fall in such a perfectly crafted line like by chance! This was the work of a killer. A good one at that. Leaves no evidence, but the crime in plain sight for all to find. Almost flaunting it. Proud of it even.

I’ve watched the girl leave and return unnoticed three times. Each time claiming another victim. The nice people think she is getting better, I hear them talking about letting her have a nice room soon, and maybe even letting her go. But I know! The girl does not get better in the mind she gets better at hiding the evil keeping her here! They know nothing.

When the girl left, she used a window in one of the empty rooms. We are on the first floor, so it was probably quite easy for her. It was quiet, but not so quiet that she could be heard easily, especially with the fans whirring as they so often do. She was back within the hour and ever so graciously strolled back into her room as if nothing more than a quick run to the store had just happened. Although unsuspected by others, I knew better. My thoughts were proven correct by afternoon the next day.

I was allowed out for good behavior, and improvements with my “instability” and “franticness” as the nice people call it. Consequently, I went to visit my family. That’s when we found my mother. Her beautiful blonde hair, an elegant mess over her face. Her motionless body. The trail. They crying. They betrayal. My father and sisters seldom spoke to me, or each other for nearly a year after that.

Until the girl left again.

She was barley noticeable this night, and if I hadn’t known better I would have thought it Max, our house cat, out for a midnight stroll as he so often does. Probably admiring the very nice rooms. They are painted a beautiful shade of blue. The girl does not get to enjoy this though because she does these terrible things. Slipping out the door was a simple task for her on this night. Especially when the nice people were starting to ease up on her security and restrictions. She might have been able to have a nice room soon too.

I was also trusted more. And with each passing day I found more interesting things to do with my time. One day I simply wandered about, admiring and counting all the doors and windows I could find. They are all quite beautifully made. Carved wood frames, and shiny copper hinges around every corner, all accented by lovely blue walls. I even attended Sunday services every once and a while. These were almost as calming to me as the whirr of my fan.

I went to service that morning after the girl had left, to get my mind settled and well rested. Since I was out, I did not hear the news until nearly mealtime. My father was dead, my sister told me. In synch as they always were. Its quite a spectacle to hear them speak, it truly is. I miss their voices sometimes. It was as if they were not two minds, but one. Each knowing exactly what the other’s intentions would be. Sometimes I wished I had a twin. No one ever understood me the way they seemed to understand each other.

My father was drowned in our pool. Oh, how I loved that pool. Summers of swimming and carefree fun. He never went near it though. Not once. He was always afraid of water, but had it made just for us. That’s how we knew it wasn’t an accident.
I was allowed out for the funeral.

After that I did not see the girl for a long time, and my sisters started coming to visit every week. Over the course of their visits however, they acquired a distaste for my fan, which I would never fully understand. When they were here, we spoke of the past, new events, but mostly of when I would be able to leave. It was always a topic of interest that no one seemed to know the answer to. I was calmer, oh yes. I was aware. They saw nothing wrong, and neither did the nice people. How terrible I feel for tricking them. They really are very nice.

My poor sisters were the last to go. I saw it coming. I didn’t know when, and it took me two full months to figure out how, but I could feel it.

For her grand finale of sorts, the girl had taken my fan, the fan belonging to the boy on room over, and every other she could find on her way out.

The house was burned down by morning.

I awoke to the fan moving back and forth. Looking left and then right. Guarding my room from the things I cannot see. The constant whirr is calming and reassuring to my restless mind. I am restless. I am confused. I am dangerous. So I stay in this room because it is what’s good for everyone. I have a bed, and my fan. The constant whirr is very calming to my restless mind. It’s the only way I can live in this dark room alone.

title: Second edit, needs a title, any advice appreciated. (1,248 words)

question: Summarize the central theme of the story.

answer: The central theme that is widely conveyed in the story is - the mind is stronger than anything else. This central theme tends to be supported from various instances that are mentioned in the story, like the girl successfully committed a series of killings; the narrator killing their family using the ventilation system of their room; and a whole house getting burned down.

critique: This answer does not mention the central theme of knowledge.

critique: The response is not relevant to the question and needs to be rewritten.

critique: "The central theme that is widely conveyed in the story is - the mind is stronger than anything else. This central theme tends to be supported from various instances that are mentioned in the story, like the girl successfully committed a series of killings; the narrator killing their family using the ventilation system of their room; and a whole house getting burned down." - this is a really bad summary of the story. The girl can't kill anyone since the narrator is a schizophrenic and the girl doesn't exist. The narrator killed their family using the ventilation system of their room, but there's no evidence in the story that supports that. There was no mention of a whole house getting burned down.

critique: The passage does not suggest that the narrator has killed their family.

critique: "The narrator killing their family" is an unattested plot point

critique: The accuracy of the central theme is open to interpretation.

critique: The second sentence is incoherent and not related to the question.

critique: "This central theme tends to be supported from various instances that are mentioned in the story, like the girl successfully committed a series of killings; the narrator killing their family using the ventilation system of their room; and a whole house getting burned down." - extraneous information that doesn't pertain to the theme.

critique: The answer is inaccurate and does not make sense.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that the narrator had killed their family.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator is the girl who committed the murders.

critique: The answer is not clear and does not make sense.

question: Explain two possibilities for the ending of the story.

answer: One possibility is that the narrator is being held captive by a cruel caretaker. Another possibility is that the narrator is actually the perpetrator of the killings in the story.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator is the killer.

critique: The second possibility is not a possibility in the story.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator is a serial killer who may or may not be insane.

critique: The second part of the answer is not necessary.

critique: There is no way to determine the identity of who set the fire that killed the narrator's family

critique: A part of the text supports the answer that the narrator is the perpetrator.

critique: This does not explain why the fan keeps moving.

critique: A little too speculative. The narrator is either in a mental institution or the story is a frame that the narrator is describing by recalling details of the girl and how she kills for attention.

critique: The second possibility is not mentioned in the story.

critique: "One possibility is that the narrator is being held captive by a cruel caretaker. Another possibility is that the narrator is actually the perpetrator of the killings in the story." - this is not a possibility. It is the ending of the story.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that the narrator is the perpetrator behind the murders

question: Explain the measures the narrator-or the girl-might have taken to quiet their mind.

answer: The constant noise of the air fan in a dark room might help the narrator's mind go empty, since her senses have nothing to focus.

critique: The story doesn't say anything about the fan helping the narrator's mind go empty.

critique: The answer should mention that the fan is a literal sound used to try and silence the narrator's mind.

critique: the sound of the air fan and dark room are secondary, the story is about the girl besides the narrator.

critique: The answer could mention the trouble the girl is having.

critique: "Since her senses have nothing to focus." - this is a bit confusing and redundant.

critique: The answer does not mention the narrator's mental health.

critique: The answer should mention the girl's actions and motives.

critique: The answer should mention that the fan is also a source of comfort for the narrator.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The second half of the sentence is unnecessary, as the focus is specifically on their mind.

question: Explain why "the girl" might have committed these atrocities.

answer: This information can't be found, though a psychotic mental illness (resulting from repressed feelings of jealousy towards her, the narrator, having a much better life) seems a likely cause.

critique: This is not a likely cause, and the narrator's life is not better.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's mother.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest the girl was jealous of the narrator.

critique: "This information can't be found," is too vague. The answer only needs to describe the narrator's speculation.

critique: The answer should mention that the girl is a serial killer.

critique: This answer is inaccurate. It contains information that can't be found within the given text.

critique: The answer could provide other reasons why the narrator could have committed the atrocity.

critique: The answer does not give a reason for why the girl may have had a psychotic mental illness.

critique: The external narrator might not have answered these questions from his perspective, but the text does offer some clues that one could infer from the text.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The answer suggests that the reason is not given in the story.

critique: This may be true, but there are no indications that the narrator has a much better life or that this is a reason why the girl might be jealous.

critique: It's not clear whether the narrator is the girl.

critique: The response doesn't provide a reason, only a possible cause.


text:
_PS, THE PREVENTIVE MAINTENANCE MONTHLY_ is series of United States Army technical bulletins published since June 1951 as a monthly magazine with comic book-style art to illustrate proper preventive maintenance methods. The magazine's title derives from its being a “postscript” to technical manuals and other published maintenance guidance.[1]

Origin – _Army Motors_ magazine

The Army had experienced some degree of acceptance and success during the Second World War with the instructional publication _Army Motors_, for which Corporal Will Eisner, an established comic-book writer-artist-editor, had been appropriated to draw such characters as Beetle Bailey-like Private Joe Dope,[2] Lauren Bacall look-alike and “by the book” Corporal Connie Rodd, and Master Sergeant Half-Mast McCanick. Eisner left the Army as a chief warrant officer to start American Visuals Corporation, a contract graphic art company. In response to a sudden need for maintenance instruction at the start of the Korean War, the Army contracted American Visuals Corporation to create instructional material, similar to Eisner's work on _Army Motors_ for the Army Ordnance Corps's new publication, _PS, The Preventive Maintenance Monthly_, that replaced _Army Motors_ in 1951.[3] [In 1968 and 1969, Eisner illustrated _The M16A1 Rifle_ (DA PAM 750-30) as a standalone issue of _PS_ specifically to address issues related to the then-new M16 rifle as it was fielded in Vietnam.[4][5]]

Production of PS

[A typical _PS_ illustration publicizing new information: M1 tank crewmen may now mount a roadwheel atop their anthropomorphic tank's turret, due to the availability of a new type of mounting assembly.] Eisner was the publication's artistic director from its inception through the end of 1971. The magazine's artists have included Eisner, Murphy Anderson, Joe Kubert, Dan Spiegle, Scott Madsen, Malane Newman, Alfredo Alcala, and Mike Ploog.[6] The magazine from its inception has been, written, researched and edited by Department of the Army civilians.

The magazine is published in digest size with 2-color spots and a four-color cover and continuity. The continuity consists of a short story told through the use of a series of panels like any comic book, often with a theme borrowed from popular fiction. The home office of _PS_ was located at Aberdeen Proving Ground, Maryland, from April 1951 until January 1955, when it was moved to Raritan Arsenal, New Jersey. It was moved again in October 1962 to Fort Knox, Kentucky. It remained there until July 1973, when it moved to the Lexington-Blue Grass Army Depot in Kentucky. In June 1993, it moved to Redstone Arsenal, Alabama. Paper production ended with the June 2017 issue; it is now in APP format only.

Department of the Army pamphlets 750-30 (about the M16 rifle) and 750-31 (about the Gama Goat) as well as numerous posters including 750-78 (about the role of enlisted leadership in preventative maintenance) were also produced in the style of _PS_, in some cases utilizing the same characters. [Character Connie Rodd on cover of PS issue 115, 1962]

Characters

Master Sergeant Half-Mast and Connie Rodd (now a civilian) as well as Privates Dope and Fosgnoff were brought by Eisner from _Army Motors_. Dope and Fosgnoff served as cautionary tales while Half-Mast provided direct technical guidance. Following Army complaints about screw-ups Dope and Fosgnoff, both characters were permanently removed in 1955. As other combat support and combat service support elements joined the magazine, new characters were added to represent branch-specific issues: Bull Dozer for the engineers in 1954, Percy the Skunk for the Chemical Corps in 1960, Windy Windsock (and later Benjamin “Rotor” Blade) for aviation in 1962, and Macon Sparks for the signal corps in 1977. To better serve a diversifying demographic in the military audience, in 1970 an African-American civilian woman, Bonnie, was added.[7] A Hispanic quartermaster sergeant, Pablo Hablo, was introduced in 1993 but was removed only five years later after being perceived as a racial stereotype. In 2001, On-Line Warrior was added to the P.S. line-up to communicate information about online resources.[8]

From the 1950s to the 1970s, Connie and Bonnie were played up as “cheesecake” targeted at the mostly male GIs to help interest them in using _PS_. Following an increased presence of females in the Army and at the urging of Congresswoman Bella Abzug as well as Senators William Proxmire and Orrin Hatch, the magazine updated Connie and Bonnie in March 1980 to a more modest and professional form.

Sherry Steward has opined that the anthropomorphism of military equipment in the magazine helps the military audience “build serious relationships with technology... personified equipment often reflects emotions of anger, sadness, fear, and happiness to appeal to the reader's sense of responsibility.” Through facial expressions, body language and dialogue, the anthropomorphized equipment reacts soldiers' activity, establishing empathy among those charged with maintenance of the Army's equipment.

Citations

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

title: PS, The Preventive Maintenance Monthly

question: What does the text say about the main characters in the bulletins?

answer: Master Sergeant Half-Mast and Connie Rodd, as well as Privates Dope and Fosgnoff were brought by Eisner from Army Motors. Dope and Fosgnoff served as cautionary tales while Half-Mast provided direct technical guidance. Following Army complaints about screw-ups Dope and Fosgnoff, both characters were permanently removed in 1955.

critique: The answer omits the characters that were added later.

critique: The answer should mention the new characters.

critique:
It is omitted that new characters were add to represent branch-specific issues. As other combat support and combat service support elements joined the magazine, new characters were added to represent branch-specific issues: Bull Dozer for the engineers in 1954, Percy the Skunk for the Chemical Corps in 1960, Windy Windsock (and later Benjamin “Rotor” Blade) for aviation in 1962, and Macon Sparks for the signal corps in 1977.
To better serve a diversifying demographic in the military audience, in 1970 an African-American civilian woman, Bonnie, was added.[7] A Hispanic quartermaster sergeant, Pablo Hablo, was introduced in 1993 but was removed only five years later after being perceived as a racial stereotype.

critique: The response misses to mention that new characters were added to represent branch-specific issues.

critique: The answer omits the characters added later.

question: What does the text say about Army Motors magazine?

answer: Army Motors was an instructional publication during the Second World War. Corporal Will Eisner was appropriated to draw characters such as "Beetle Bailey-like Private Joe Dope". Eisner left the Army to start American Visuals Corporation, a contract graphic art company, in response to the need for maintenance instruction during the Korean war. When PS, The Preventive Maintenance Monthly was created, it replaced Army Motors.

critique: The response should include the reason for the magazine's creation.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: It's omitted that Army Motors was an instructional publication during the Second World War.

critique: Doesn't mention the characters or the comic book style of the publication.

critique: The answer omits that Eisner was appropriated to draw characters such as "Lauren Bacall look-alike and “by the book” Corporal Connie Rodd, and Master Sergeant Half-Mast McCanick".

question: What does the text say about changes to the magazine since the 1990s?

answer: The magazine was published in digest size with 2-color spots and a four-color cover and continuity. Paper production ended with the June 2017 issue. It is now in APP format only. In 1993, a Hispanic quartermaster sergeant, Pablo Hablo, was introduced but was removed five years later after being perceived as a racial stereotype. In 2001, On-Line Warrior was added to the P.S. line-up to communicate information about online resources.

critique: The answer does not mention the removal of Dope and Fosgnoff.

critique: The answer omits the ending of the magazine.

critique: The answer omits that the June 2017 issue is the last paper publication.

critique: The answer should mention the removal of Dope and Fosgnoff.

critique: The article doesn't mention anything about changes to the magazine since the 1990s.


text:
Mr. Doyle awoke.  Familiar was the scene - his large master bedroom, plenty of sunlight coming in from the outside to freshen up his morning, the cat wanting to be let out, as always.  Upon closer inspection, however, something was different today, and this didn't go unnoticed by Mr. Doyle; a dirty shirt and pair of old jeans lay on the otherwise pristine carpeted floor.  For a split second, he was taken aback, as the past 37 years had conditioned him to expect a spotless room upon his awakening.

    You know how those got there.  Quit playing fucking games.

He stood, and went into the kitchen to brew some coffee.  He hadn't done so himself in years, possibly decades even, he thought - ah, but what does it matter.  This was a new day, a fresh beginning.  Despite being on the verge of 62, Mr. Doyle felt a certain invigoration that hadn't been felt since his teenage years.

     You saw it yourself, Doyle.  With your own eyes.  But are you sure?
Completely.  What sense would it make to not be sure?  That would defeat the entire purpose - NO.  No doubts, no regrets - this was Mr. Doyle's new resolve in life, that he'd sworn to uphold that very night before.  He was a new man, *satisfied* for once with everything around him.

    You're not sure.
He was sure that that coffee was damn good though, he thought.  He walked past his sliding glass to the backyard, his shovel still right where he left it, outside the door.

    You said yourself you were going back.  You didn't.  She's coming.
She's dead, thought Mr. Doyle.  Nothing will change that, he'd already made that decision and come to terms with it.

    Any moment now, Mr. Doyle, she'll be knocking.  And she won't be happy.
No, no - that bitch is gone.  No longer will I let her walk all over me, no more of my money to be taken, no more of what I've done, what I've made, what I've accomplished to be shit upon by some whore -

    Who do you think you are, Mr. Doyle?  Death only stops the undetermined.
That was the REASON, that's the fucking 'motive', she was a god damned parasite, taking everything I ever had, every emotion I'd let out and just demoralizing every ounce of it -

    And you think you can just, what?  Kill her, and it stops?  Minutes now, Mr. Doyle.
NO, she isn't coming, she's right the fuck where I left her last night, I dealt the finishing blow, I watched her take her last sweet breath of air, I took from her what she had been trying to take from me for so many years.  *I win, bitch.*

    No, Mr. Doyle, you lose.  She's here.  And she's angry.
Knocking.  Mr. Doyle was probably losing his mind - but his sense of hearing was intact, and he heard it.  No mistake.  It was *her knock*, the special pattern that Mr. Doyle had grown accustomed to.  His heart dropped, everything went silent.  He listened, and the knock came again.  With haste.

YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION, BITCH?  YOU WON'T GET SHIT. I'M DONE WITH YOU FUCKING WITH MY HEAD, I'M DONE WITH YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M A FUCKING CHILD, I'M DONE PAYING FOR YOUR BULLSHIT, I'M DONE GETTING STEPPED ON LIKE GARBAGE, I'M FUCKING DONE WITH YOU.

Mr. Doyle produced a blade from a holder in the kitchen, and began violently sawing at his neck.

title: Mr. Doyle

question: How can Mr. Doyle be described?

answer: He is greedy, vain, delusional and likely has a narcissistic personality disorder and substance abuse problems.

critique: The sentence after the comma is superfluous.

critique: It's not clear if he has a narcissistic personality disorder.

critique: The detail about possible substance abuse problems isn't stated in the text.

critique: "He was a new man, *satisfied* for once with everything around him." is evidence that Mr. Doyle is satisfied with his life.

critique: For the sake of being able to respond to reviews more easily, I have put the answer in the form of a sentence rather than a sentence fragment.

critique: He's greedy, but everything else is off.

critique: The response is not based on anything in the passage.

critique: The answer is too long and should be reduced to one sentence.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The answer is not supported by the text.

text: Where there is evidence of Mr. Doyle being delusional, there is little else to suggest that he is suffering with the other personality traits described.

category: accuracy

refinement: He is greedy, vain, delusional and likely has a narcissistic personality disorder and substance abuse problems.

question: How did Mr. Doyle react when he heard the woman's knock?

answer: He produced a knife and started sawing on himself while screaming.

critique: The answer should mention that he was screaming at the woman.

critique: This is not necessarily the accurate reaction

critique: Mr. Doyle did not start sawing on himself. He was just holding a knife.

critique: The answer should be clearer about what he was sawing on.

critique: The answer can be more specific about Mr. Doyle's purpose, as he was trying to kill himself.

critique: The answer should be more specific about what he was doing with the knife.

critique: Does not mention that he started to saw his throat after his outburst.

critique: He didn't start sawing on himself, he was already sawing his own neck.

critique: He is not screaming, he is just screaming at her

critique: This is a bad choice of words and there's no indication that it is a knife when you say 'produced a knife'

question: Would the woman care about Mr. Doyle killing himself?

answer: No answer

critique: 'No answer' isn't relevant/doesn't belong.

critique: There's no answer here because it's not relevant to the question.

critique: There is no definitive implication about the woman's feelings about Mr. Doyle's suicide.

critique: The woman's reaction is never really considered in the story.

critique: The woman cared because she was a large part of his motivation for suicide.

critique: The answer is not relevant, as it is a story about a woman and not about the woman's feelings.

critique: No answer is given, but the passage implies that she would care.


text:
I remember this story,
I remember it well.
It had a devilish intention,
To stay in mind to only dwell.

It happened so fast,
It happened in vain.
It happened at night,
In a vast land we call the plains.

When the sun was almost done,
And forming on the horizon a small crest.
A farmer came out to sit on his porch,
After a long day of work to take his rest.

When his wife came out,
And kissed him on the cheek.
She said to him you work to hard,
Maybe you should rest for a day or week.

You know I can’t said the farmer,
We have to worry about food.
And all bills we have to pay,
Do you want to live in a hood?

 You no I don’t,
Said the woman in such an attitude.
That made the farmer thinks,
Why was she talking this rude?

But the farmer thought nothing of it,
And arose to go to bed.
He walked up the stairs,
And laid down to rest his weary head.

In the middle of the night,
Arose such a clatter.
That the farmer rose,
To see what was the matter.

He rushed to his closet,
And through open the door.
To grab his gun his father gave him,
Who told him it was useful for ever more.

He went down the stairs,
In a manner so gentle.
That made the man think could this be his wife leaving?
Why he was thinking this, she could never leave him, was he mental?

Why did he think this?
 He knew he could not be.
If he thought this it could not be true,
Not one thing is wrong with me.

When he arrived down the stairs,
He saw into the room.
But saw nothing but the furniture,
And some glass beside a broom.

He starts for the kitchen,
Since the lights were still going along.
He turned the corner,
And saw something was wrong.

His wife was in there,
A man had his arms around her shoulders rim.
How could she do this he thought?
 So a fury of anger rose within him.

He dashes in brandishing the gun,
And yells at her I kill you and this man if I can.
So he pulled the trigger,
But nothing came out and killed man.

Then everything happened in a fury,
 The farmer was on the ground after he fell.
The unknown man was now on top of him,
And the farmers head was ringing like a bell.

The farmer fell asleep then,
Not knowing where he was.
He awoke with his hands tied in a dark cold room,
With a lot of commotion coming from the room above that came like a buzz.

He realized he was in his basement,
And could no longer move his arms in any motion.
So he tried to create a noise to be heard,
But could not because of the upstairs commotion.

With that man upstairs with his wife,
And he down here with his hands behind his back.
That man was messing around with his wife,
And all he wanted to do is grab the axes and hack.

His ties came loose,
His hands were free.
He got up and grabbed the axe,
He ran to the door and yelled out you are only me.

He slashed down the axe,
It went down in a whir.
The man now led dead on the cold floor,
So now the farmer started for her.

She exclaimed out to him,
That was your son you just hurt, you are acting crazy.
We put you down there to keep you come till we could surprise you in the mor…
She went down like the man before her and the rest is a little hazy.

When the farmer finally came back to reality,
He was in a strange room.
He stood before a man in black,
Who seemed to be in a gloom?

He said to the farmer in a booming voice,
For what you have committed is so vile I can not think of a punishment to give.
So I give you live in prison,
You will never be a free man as long as you live.

The farmer is now in a strange small room,
A room he could no longer leave as he may.
He said in a sorrowful voice how can I atone myself,
He heard voice behind him say, I can think of a way.

title: a little alliteration i made one boring day

question: What is the farmer's motivation to use the gun his father gave him?

answer: The farmer is angry that his wife is cheating on him.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer is also suspicious that the man in the house is his son.

critique: The answer should mention the use of the gun.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer thinks he sees his wife with another man.

text: At first, the farmer reacts as though someone has broken into the house, and then thinks his wife could be sneaking out.

question: What does the story say about the man the farmer wants to kill.

answer: No answer

critique: There is no man in the story, so the answer should state that.

critique: The answer should mention that the man is the farmer's wife's lover.

text: The answer should mention that it's the farmer's son, whom the farmer mistakes for a stranger.

question: What are the effects of the farmer killing the man?

answer: The farmer is sentenced to live in prison for life.

critique: Incorrect. The farmer was sentenced to prison, but not life.

critique: The answer does not mention that the farmer killed his son.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer's wife dies as well.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer's wife dies.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer kills his wife, too.

critique: It may be more accurate to say he is sentenced to 'live in prison until he dies'.


text:
[NTT DATA Services SAPA Digital Transformation blog]

Digital Transformation: Leaders vs. Laggards

No doubt about it. In today’s digital universe the stakes are high. Leading digital companies generate better gross margins, better earnings and better net income than organizations in the bottom quarter of digital adopters. According to a study reported in Harvard Business School., digital leaders post a three-year average gross margin of 55%, compared to just 37% for digital laggards.

Bain & Company recently surveyed 1,000 companies around the world to gauge their level of digital readiness. According to the study, the payoff from digital transformation can be impressively high. Revenues at digital leaders grew more than twice as fast as those at companies slower with digital adoption. Profit followed a similar pattern—leaders were nearly twice as likely as followers to increase profit. These findings leave little doubt that digital transformation can yield significant results. Regrettably, the study also revealed a high rate of failure for digital projects, with lack of sufficient funding playing a significant role.

According to Gartner's 2017 CEO survey, 42% of CEOs are now taking a digital-first approach to business change or taking digital to the core of their enterprise model. As reported by CIO, IDC estimates that all 40% of all technology spending will go toward digital transformations, with enterprises spending in excess of $2 trillion in 2019.

So, where are digital investments being made? According to IDC, the following three areas are expected to receive the most funding in 2018:

-   $662 billion will go toward technologies that support new or expanded operating models as organizations seek to make their operations more effective and responsive by leveraging digitally connected products/services, assets, people, and trading partners.
-   $326 billion will be spent on technologies supporting omni-experience innovations that transform how customers, partners, employees, and things communicate with each other and the products and services created to meet unique and individualized demand.
-   $240 billion will be spent on information as organizations strive to obtain and leverage information for competitive advantage through better decisions, optimized operations, and new products and services.

Show me the money!

Sustained innovation is by definition, a journey. Corporations must clearly articulate their digital strategy and provide support, both in investment dollars and in human capital, to execute on it. Talk is cheap. Until business leaders take the time to develop a thoughtful strategy backed with meaningful funding, the chances of digital projects bearing fruit will remained limited.

At NTT DATA, we see funding digital transformation as a three-fold challenge: establishing initial funding, planning for perennial or annual funding, and developing and applying principles for administering the digital fund now and moving forward.

Initial funding

Almost every company we deal with has some seed funding available, but it typically isn’t enough to create a complete initial fund. In these situations, NTT DATA works closely with our clients on drawing additional funding from the following five areas:

-   Freeing funds through automation
-   Migrating to an on-demand cloud and reducing total on-premise spend
-   Revisiting reshoring / outsourcing options
-   Eliminating anachronistic/non-critical services better handled by new, digital processes now possible via SAP Leonardo
-   Cost and efficiency savings through enterprise application portfolio rationalization and migrating to S/4HANA

Perennial/Annual funding:

Regardless of where the funding comes from, closely tracking outcomes and reinvesting positive gains is absolutely vital to keeping your digital program on track and moving forward.

On this score, we’ve worked with clients to keep funding for digital projects flowing by reinvesting gains from completed projects -- such as better-than-planned-for savings, labor savings, maintenance savings and a percentage of new revenue.

By approaching transformation in a strategic, incremental manner and ‘paying forward’ measurable gains, confidence grows as positive outcomes mount up and your organizations’ transformation progress never stalls.

5 guiding principles for digital fund allocation:

Once funding is established, clients must decide how best to manage spending and prioritize projects over the short- and long-term. On this score, NTT DATA advises following five guiding principles.

-   Assess and prioritize digital initiatives strictly based on business needs.
-   Adhere to a ‘No-code / Lo-code’ policy – avoid making customizations that make future changes difficult.
-   Ensure easy maintenance by embracing COTS, PaaS, SaaS.
-   Maintain a customer-first/enterprise-wide perspective – all digital initiatives must improve the customer experience and, as a rule, will extend across organizational boundaries.
-   Adopt a cloud-first strategy – put as much as you can as fast as you can in the cloud.

NTT DATA’s comprehensive services portfolio, provides our clients a tailored digital journey, combining industry experience across industry leading platforms and software technologies. Our experience is deep, or methodology is proven and for our SAP clients, the meaningful and measurable results speak for themselves:

-   Yaskawa America Inc. gives employees and suppliers real-time insight into a global supply chain with an innovative portal that connects silos, automates workflows and speeds development by 50%.
-   Greene, Tweed & Co. improves quality by synchronizing inspection data across separate production systems and automating data collection.

Providing the full spectrum of digital services, from strategic guidance, business case development to full scale implementations, NTT DATA is a preferred digital transformation partner.

Contact NTT DATA today learn more how our experts can help you fund your digital program and identify high-value initiatives that deliver outcomes that matter.

POST DATE: 7/9/2018

question: What does the text say about success in digital transformation?

answer: Digital leaders post a three year average gross margin of 55%, compared to just 37% for digital laggards. Technological spending will go towards digital transformation. Bosses of companies are taking a digital-first approach to business. However, success requires a fully thought out strategy and financial plan.

critique: The answer should mention the payoff from digital transformation.

critique: The response should include more information about the payoff of digital transformation.

critique: The answer omits the payoff from digital transformation.

critique: This part of the answer is not necessary.

question: What does the text say about managing spending?

answer: Once funding is established, clients must decide how best to manage spending and prioritize projects over the short- and long-term. In order to manage spending, NTT DATA advises their clients to assess and prioritize digital initiatives strictly based on business needs, adhere to a "No-code / Lo-code" policy, and maintain a customer-first/enterprise-wide perspective. Clients should also adopt a cloud-first strategy.

critique: The response is missing a critical principle: Ensure easy maintenance by embracing COTS, PaaS, SaaS.

critique: The answer should mention the fifth principle.

critique: The answer should mention the 5 guiding principles.

critique: The answer omits the last of the five principles.

critique: It should be "its," not "their," because NTT DATA is a company, not a person.

question: Summarize Bain and Company's survey.

answer: Bain and Company surveyed 1,000 companies around the world to gauge their level of digital readiness. They took a digital-first approach to business change or took digital to the core of their enterprise model. The survey results showed that the payoff from digital transformation can be impressively high, and that revenues at digital leaders grew more than twice as fast as those at companies slower with digital adoption.

critique: The answer should mention the high rate of failure for digital projects.

critique: The survey showed that companies with digital transformation grew more than twice as fast as those that didn't.

critique: "The survey results showed that the payoff from digital transformation can be impressively high, and that revenues at digital leaders grew more than twice as fast as those at companies slower with digital adoption." is unnecessary information that should be removed.

critique: The answer omits the high rate of failure for digital projects.

critique: The highlighted portion of the response is unnecessary, as it already states in thelarger first paragraph of the response that digital-first approach is necessary.

question: What does the text have to say about the founders of NTT DATA?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer could mention that the founders aren't discussed in the text.

critique: The text does not have anything to say about the founders of NTT DATA.

critique: The text does not say anything about the founders of NTT DATA.

critique: The response is incorrect. The text does not offer any information about NTT DATA's founders.


text:
[]

Archbishop Eamon Martin of Armagh

Irish bishops have expressed alarm about a law passed by Britain’s Parliament that would legalize marriage equality and abortion in Northern Ireland if the province’s self-government is not restored by late October.

The July 17th letter from Northern Ireland’s four Catholic bishops claimed British leaders had “hijacked” the Northern Ireland (Executive Formation) Bill by adding provisions about equal marriage and abortion rights. Archbishop Eamon Martin of Armagh, Bishop Noel Treanor of Down and Connor, Bishop Donal McKeown of Derry, and Bishop Lawrence Duffy of Clogher wrote to former Prime Minister Teresa May, according to Toronto’s _Catholic Register_:

“‘We appeal to the Prime Minister and Westminster government to move to overturn this hijacking of the … bill for purposes for which it was never intended and to uphold the right of citizens in Northern Ireland, under the Good Friday Agreement, to decide these matters for themselves.’

“‘The equal right to life, and love, of a mother and her unborn child is so fundamental to the common good of every society that citizens deserve the fullest participation in the democratic debate about the legislation which governs it. This also applies to decisions regarding the nature of marriage.'”

Bishop John Sherrington, an auxiliary of Westminster (London), released a July 12th statement on behalf of the Bishops’ Conference of England and Wales according to the _National Catholic Reporter_. He called the then-bill “an imposition enacted by a Parliament which is overwhelmingly not from Northern Ireland” and said the British Parliament was undermining devolution, or decentralized governance that allows provinces to govern themselves, in Northern Ireland.

Regardless of the bishops’ protests, the new law was passed by both houses of the British Parliament on July 18th. It will go into effect October 21, 2019 unless Northern Ireland’s provincial government is restored. This development seems unlikely since the power-sharing arrangement between Irish Nationalists and Unionists, which is required for the province to govern itself rather than be governed by Britain’s Parliament, has been dead since 2017.

Catholics have acted largely opposite their bishops on the question of equal marriage in the province. When Northern Ireland’s Assembly was functioning, marriage equality was hotly contested and, over the course of five votes beginning in 2012, had been gaining support. The two traditionally Catholic parties backed equal marriage while Protestant politicians remained opposed. Polling showed marriage equality had majority support in the province, as well as among British residents overall. More recently, it was a Catholic member of the British Parliament who helped start discussions of marriage equality there. Conor McGinn introduced equal marriage legislation during Holy Week 2018, and said by doing so he was “living the message of the gospel.”

In this case, opposing equal marriage seems a secondary cause where abortion rights are clearly their target (Northern Ireland retains some of the strictest abortion laws in Europe). Some of bishops’ concerns about British intervention into Northern Ireland’s complex politics may even be warranted. Marriage equality seems to be a reality to which the bishop are resigned, yet they still feel the need to protest it, if flatly. That is a notable development. But they are incorrect to call the British Parliament’s intervention a “hijacking.” Justice delayed is justice denied. LGBTQ people in Northern Ireland should not have their human rights withheld because the power-sharing agreement fell through given there was a proper remedy available. Congratulations to the Catholics who helped bring equal marriage to Northern Ireland!

—_Robert Shine, New Ways Ministry, July 27, 2019_

question: What does the text say about Southern Ireland?

answer: No answer

critique: It is incorrect that there is no answer.

critique: This is false. The text mentions Southern Ireland.

critique: The answer should mention that the text does not mention Southern Ireland.

critique: The answer should mention that the text doesn't mention Southern Ireland.

question: What does the text say about why the Irish Catholic bishops are protesting?

answer: The Irish Catholic bishops are protesting because of a law passed by Britain's Parliament that would legalize marriage equality and abortion in Northern Ireland if the province's self-government is not restored by late October. The Irish Catholic bishops are claiming that the British leaders had "hijacked" the Northern Ireland (Executive Formation) Bill by adding provisions about equal marriage and abortion rights. The Irish Catholic bishops believe that the British Parliament is undermining devolution, or decentralized governance that allows provinces to govern themselves, in Northern Ireland.

critique: These sentences should be as a single sentence.

critique: 'The Irish Catholic bishops are claiming that the British leaders had "hijacked" the Northern Ireland (Executive Formation) Bill by adding provisions about equal marriage and abortion rights. The Irish Catholic bishops believe that the British Parliament is undermining devolution, or decentralized governance that allows provinces to govern themselves, in Northern Ireland.' is irrelevant.

critique: The answer is a summary of the text and not a direct answer to the question.

critique: The answer should mention that the bishops are protesting because they believe the law is an imposition enacted by a Parliament that is overwhelmingly not from Northern Ireland.

question: What does the text say about the new law?

answer: The new law was passed by both houses of the British Parliament on July 18th. It will go into effect on October 21, 2019, unless Northern Ireland's provincial government is restored. The law will legalize marriage equality and abortion in Northern Ireland if the province's self-government is not restored by late October.

critique: The law will go into effect on October 21, 2019, unless Northern Ireland's provincial government is restored.

critique: The law's effects are irrelevant to the question, and the last sentence is redundant.

critique: The law will go into effect on October 21, 2019, regardless of the restoration of the provincial government.

critique: The law will go into effect on October 21, 2019, if the province's self-government is not restored.

critique: The law will go into effect on October 21, 2019.

critique: It is omitted that if the province's self-government is not restored by late October, the law will legalize marriage equality and abortion in Northern Ireland.

critique: "if the province's self-government is not restored by late October." - this is incorrect. The law will go into effect on October 21, 2019, regardless of whether Northern Ireland's provincial government is restored or not.

question: What does the text say about the difference between Catholics and Protestants when it comes to marriage equality?

answer: Catholics have acted opposite their bishops on the question of equal marriage in the province. When Northern Ireland's Assembly was functioning, marriage equality was hotly contested and, over the course of five votes beginning in 2012, had been gaining support. The two traditionally Catholic parties backed equal marriage while Protestant politicians remained opposed. Polling showed marriage equality had majority support in the province, as well as among British residents overall. More recently, it was a Catholic member of the British Parliament who helped start discussions of marriage equality there.

critique: The answer should mention that the bishops are protesting the new law.

critique: Catholics are somewhat supportive of or at least tolerant of marriage equality as long as Protestant politicians remained opposed.

critique: The answer should mention the power-sharing agreement.


text:
PLEASE VISIT OUR JEWISH ABOLITION MOVEMENT SECTION, WHERE YOU CAN FIND RESOURCES AND OTHER INFORMATION, INCLUDING SERMONS, AND THE EXCELLENT WORK UNDERTAKEN BY THE DEATH PENALTY ACTION GROUP.

YOU CAN FIND THIS SECTION HERE:

[]

_"WE SHOULD FIGHT AGAINST THE DEATH PENALTY 100%, REGARDLESS OF THE CRIME – THAT IS MY BELIEF, AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY BELIEF." RANDY E HALPRIN_

DEAR VISITOR,

We welcome you to this site with open arms!

We would firstly like to invite you to visit our 'RANDY'S CASE' section where you will find a full and frank outline of Randy's case, and our 'CAMPAIGN' section where we will post updates and information as and when we can.

We would like to make it clear from the outset that Randy does NOT have access to the internet, or to a computer. This is NOT a fan site or a forum in which to ask for legal or financial support, and all decisions and posts regarding this site are made solely by Randy's close friends.

Over the 16 years Randy has been on death row, many people have visited his website to keep up with his life and how his appeals are progressing. We realise that since his execution date was issued last year, we now have many, many more visitors to the site and we would like to welcome all of you, and thank you for your support. As you will already know, Randy received a Stay of Execution on 4th October, 2019, and we are now entering a new phase in our fight.

As well as fighting for Randy's life, the purpose of our work on this website is to bring your attention to Randy's life, as we believe that he deserves another chance. The facts in Randy's case fully support our belief that he is NOT a killer, and should NOT be executed. There is a wealth of information on this website relating to Randy, his life, and his case; and in reading about his life as it is now - through his own personal writings - we hope you will come to the same conclusion and share his story with other people.

We realise that some of you will enter Randy's world cynically, and perhaps even condemningly...However, what you will read on this website is a true reflection of the person Randy is today. Reading through his journals and memoirs will show the reader that Randy is not only aware of the mistakes he has made in his life, but that he also takes responsibility for those mistakes - it would be very difficult to fake the type of growth we have seen blossom in Randy, over the last decade or so of his writings.

In Randy's _Memoirs_ (which you can read under the 'MEMOIRS' tab) he has told the story of his youth in great detail...For years, Randy has expressed to his friends his wish to 'give back' in some way, and in telling his story very openly, he hopes that this will help parents to recognise the warning signs that their children are struggling, and also help young people to not end up on the same road as he did. During the time that Randy wrote his _Memoirs_ he went through a very tough roller-coaster of emotions, but with the support and encouragement of his loved ones, he made it to the end.

We ultimately hope that you will leave this site with a clearer understanding of the death penalty and how it's applied. For further information, we have posted a list of links to various organisations with whom you can get involved, and lend your support. You can find this list under the 'NEWS' tab. We believe that life on death row should NOT be kept hidden from society, and should be openly talked about if change is to happen. For this reason, our work with Randy aims to educate and inform those who visit our website.

As you delve further into this website, please ask yourselves the following question...

_"Are any of us exactly the same person we were 20 years ago?"_

We hope you will come back and visit for more updates/developments in Randy's case, or, if you would like to get in touch, you can reach us at our email address: friendsofrandyhalprin@gmail.com.

We thank you for taking the time to read about Randy.

THE FRIENDS OF RANDY E. HALPRIN

question: What does the text say about Randy on death row?

answer: Randy has been on death row for 16 years. He has been given a Stay of Execution on October 4, 2019, and the author believes he deserves another chance. They believe he is not a killer and should not be executed. Randy's case shows that he is not a killer and should not be executed.

critique: The answer should include the fact that he was sentenced to death for killing a child.

text: The answer inaccurately mentions that Randy's case shows he is not a killer. However, this is only a belief from supporters.


text:
The GANGMASTERS (LICENSING) ACT 2004 (c 11) is an Act of the Parliament of the United Kingdom that regulates the agencies that place vulnerable workers in agricultural work, and the shellfish collecting and packing industries (s.3). It is the most recent plank of UK agency worker law. It establishes the Gangmasters Licensing Authority (s.1), which requires that all such agencies have a licence before they operate, and adhere to proper labour practice standards. Most of its provisions came into effect after 2005.[1] The immediate cause of the legislation was the 2004 Morecambe Bay cockling disaster, where 21 Chinese immigrant labourers were left to drown by their employers (the racketeers were subsequently convicted of manslaughter, and some deported back to China) off the coast of Lancashire as the tide swept in around them.

The Gangmasters Licensing Act was based on a voluntary project, the UK Temporary Labour Working Group 1, carried out by companies in conjunction with trade unions through the Ethical Trading Initiative. The project provided a working model for how a licensing scheme could work, and also meant that ETI-member companies, including major UK supermarkets, lobbied for the new law.

Licensing

Before 1994, all such agencies were required to be registered under the Employment Agencies Act 1973. However, the Deregulation and Contracting Out Act 1994, a wide-ranging measure designed to trim government, removed this requirement. The 2004 Act requires licences for any business involved in labour placement in the agricultural and shellfish sectors (s.7) and they are contingent on the rules that the Secretary of State lays down (s.8), found in the Gangmasters (Licensing Conditions) 2006.[2]

To obtain a licence, the rules require payment of a fee linked to the agency's turnover (r.7) ranging between £250 and £4000 for businesses turning over under £1m to over £10m respectively. Agencies also have to pay for inspections of their work environment in order to obtain licensing approval (r.8). Based on turnover in the same way, the fees range from £1,600 to £2,500.

Charging fees to labourers directly is prohibited by Schedule r.4(10)(2) and by the Employment Agencies Act 1973 s.6. The rules make the end-user the only one allowed to pay the worker (r.6), restrict the agency's power to contract with the end-user to prevent the worker taking up permanent employment (r.7), prohibit the practice of withholding pay from labourers as a sanction (r.8), require the agency to provide the end-user with a document containing the terms of the agreement on fees, and what to do if the worker is unsatisfactory (r.11); they also prevent gangmasters giving each other workers unless the worker has properly consented (r.16), and require keeping of records for each worker (r.19).

The agency must give the labourer information about his legal rights (r.15). The status of such rights is uncertain, but it would appear that under s.230 of the Employment Rights Act 1996 a worker will be considered the employee of the end-user.[3] Certainly every worker must be paid the minimum wage, receive holiday pay, and must not be subject to discrimination.

Enforcement

The 2004 Act creates a number of offences with heavy penalties. Under s.12(4) offenders can face 10 years imprisonment for operating without a licence. Under s.13, people who deal with unlicensed gangmasters can face 51 weeks jail, unless they can show they took all reasonable steps to establish that the gangmasters were licensed.

Section 29 - Commencement and transitional provision

The following orders have been made under this section:

-   The Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 1) Order 2004 (S.I. 2004/2857 (C. 119))
-   The Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 2) Order 2005 (S.I. 2005/447 (C. 21))
-   The Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 3) Order 2006 (S.I. 2006/2406 (C. 85))
-   The Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 4) Order 2006 (S.I. 2006/2906 (C. 101))
-   The Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 5) Order 2007 (S.I. 2007/695 (C. 29))

[1] see the variety of Orders by the Secretary of State, such as the Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004 (Commencement No. 5) Order 2007]

[2]

[3] see _Dacas v Brook Street Bureau (UK) plc_ [2004] IRLR 538

title: Gangmasters (Licensing) Act 2004

question: What does the Gangmasters Liscensing Act of 2004 regulate?

answer: The Act regulates agencies that place vulnerable workers in agricultural work and shellfish collecting and packing industries.

critique: It is omitted that the Act also regulates shellfish collecting and packing industries.

critique: "collecting and packing" - add "shellfish"

critique: The answer should mention that it also regulates shellfish collecting and packing industries.

critique: The answer could be phrased in a complete sentence.

critique: The answer should mention the shellfish collecting and packing industries.

critique: The answer should mention the shellfish industry.

critique: 'the shellfish collecting and packing industries' is a fuller list of industries that the Act also regulate s.

question: What was the immediate cause of the legislation?

answer: The 2004 Morecambe Bay cockling disaster, where 21 Chinese immigrant labourers were left to drown by their employers.

critique: The answer should mention that the employers were convicted of manslaughter.

critique: "were left to drown by their employers" - the employers weren't the ones who left them to die, the racketeers were.

critique: The answer should mention the conviction of the employers.

critique: The answer should include the year of the disaster.

critique: Grammar--"where 21 Chinese immigrant labourers were left to drown by their employers." There is no comma after "employers."

question: Why did this event in 2004 occur?

answer: Because the Employment Agencies Act removed the requirement for labourers to be registered under the Employment Agencies Act.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

text: The response is incorrect - the event was allowed to happen because of the Deregulation and Contracting Out Act 1994 which crippled the Employment Agencies Act.

question: What penalties does the 2004 Act create?

answer: Ten years imprisonment

critique: The answer should include the other penalties.

critique: The answer should mention the other penalties.

critique: It is omitted that offenders can also face 51 weeks jail.

critique: The answer could include more information.