text:
_BLACK NOTICE_ is a crime novel by American writer Patricia Cornwell. It is the tenth book of the Dr. Kay Scarpetta series.

Plot summary

Dr. Kay Scarpetta is still shocked by the tragic loss of Benton Wesley. She is trying to carry on, but she gets a letter from Benton, written before his death and left to Senator Lord, who had agreed to deliver it a year after his death.

Dr Scarpetta and Marino start working on a new case after a body is found in a container arriving from Belgium. There is writing in the container that says _“Bon voyage, le loup-garou”_ (Have a nice trip, the werewolf). The body has a strange tattoo and wears rich clothes and there are some baby-like hairs inside the garments. Kay and Marino get in touch with European Interpol and with Jay Talley, who calls them and makes them fly to Paris to meet the Chief Medical Examiner. They get to know that the body found in the container is a member of one of the richest and oldest families of Paris, the Chandonnes, who live in an ancient mansion on the Île St Louis. It is also rumored that this family has got a son with a rare disease that makes hair grow on his entire body (hypertrichosis). This person has always been hidden, and he is believed to have committed several murders. Kay and Jay have a short liaison, and it seems the man is really involved, while Dr Scarpetta tries to keep him at distance. Kay finds out that Lucy is in part involved in this case, since she is investigating a Miami group of weapons and drugs smugglers related to the Chandonnes, the “One Sixty-Fivers”.

Back to Richmond, Virginia, Kay and Marino deal with the case of a woman brutalized and killed in a little shop and with attempts from a member of Dr. Scarpetta's team to sabotage her. Thanks to Marino, they learn that the new police chief, Diane Bray, is behind the sabotage because she wants to get control on how investigations and exams are held. Bray is also behind a drugs-smuggling operation, but she is killed with the same modus operandi as the young woman in the shop. It is clear that the killer is at large and trying to kill the people investigating the death of the man in the container.

Dr Scarpetta is in her house when the alarm rings. The police come quickly, but they find nothing. After a while, someone knocks at her door claiming to be a police officer and that someone had reported seeing a prowler. Kay does not realize that _le loup garou_ is fluent in English, and she opens the door. She then realizes that she is under attack. During the struggle, Kay throws a bottle of formalin onto the _loup garou's_ face, which temporarily blinds him.

She then runs out of the house, but falls and fractures her elbow, making her unable to fire her gun. At this time, Lucy and Jo return, and Lucy runs over and points a gun at the assailant's head, with the intention of killing him, but Marino and Kay convince her not to do it.

Characters

-   KAY SCARPETTA – Chief Medical Examiner of Richmond, Virginia. Consulting pathologist for ATF.
-   LUCY FARINELLI – _Kay's_ niece. She and Jo went undercover in Miami against the Italian One-Sixty-Fiver cartel. During a takedown, they were ambushed and they had to fight their way out. She killed two of the gangsters and accidentally shot Jo in the leg.
-   JO SANDERS – DEA agent. Lucy's lover. She got shot in the leg during the ambush.
-   PETE MARINO – Captain in the Richmond Police Department. He was transferred from being a homicide detective to a shift commander by Diane Bray.
-   JAY TALLEY – ATF liaison at Interpol, France.
-   CHUCK RUFFIN – Kay's morgue supervisor. According to Kay, he used to be very diligent in his duties. But during the events of the book, he was in cahoots with Diane Bray to mess up Kay's office, to make her look bad. He did this because he had always wanted to be a police officer, and getting into _Bray's_ good books may boost his chances. He was also in liaison with _Diane Bray_ and he stole narcotics, and anti-depressants from the morgue for her, which she sold into the black market.
-   RENE ANDERSON – Homicide detective in Richmond Police Department. She used to work in Vice, and _Diane Bray_ transferred her over to work under her, as she knows where to sell the stolen pills from _Chuck Ruffin._ She hated working for _Bray_ due to the way she was treated.
-   LE LOUP GAROU – French for The Werewolf, he was the elder brother of Thomas Chandonne, but all his life, he was never exposed to the outside world, for fear of humiliating the Chandonne Crime Family. He had a deformed face, with baby hair, about seven to nine inches long, all over his body. He bathes at the river in both France and Richmond almost every night, in the futile hopes that the water from the rivers may cure him. He was blinded by Formalin during a struggle with Scarpetta.

Victims

-   Seven unnamed women in France – Ages range from twenty-one to fifty-two. All facial structures were broken. There were subdural hematomas, bleeding over the brain and into the chest cavity. There were multiple bite marks. They were all found barefoot, with their clothing ripped open from the waist up.
-   THOMAS CHANDONNE – Son of a powerful, rich family in Paris. He was found in a container at a port in Richmond. Heavily decomposed, his cause of death undetermined.
-   KIM LUONG – Thirty-year-old Asian female. She worked as a convenience store clerk. She was shot in her neck, where she was paralyzed, but still alive, before being brutally beaten and bleeding to death. She was found barefoot, with her blouse and brassiere torn apart.
-   DIANE BRAY – Deputy Chief in Richmond Police Department. A highly attractive woman who seduces her way to the top. She seems to be very rich, staying in a well furnished house and drives a Jaguar, but it was later found out she got her money from peddling narcotics and anti-depressants in the black market. Very unpopular with her colleagues and subordinates, due to her pretentious and malicious character. She was found on the floor of her bedroom, half naked from the waist up, beaten to death by a chipping hammer, a tool used in masonry. She was so badly beaten her facial structures were gone.

Allusions and references to actual history, geography and current science

The story was set in Richmond, Virginia, and France.

Black notice is a notice issued by INTERPOL to seek information on unidentified bodies.

title: Black Notice

question: Summarize the plot twist in this story.

answer: The plot twist in this story is when the reader finds out that the werewolf is actually the brother of the man who was found in the container. The werewolf is a man who was hidden away from the world because of his condition. The werewolf is also fluent in English and is able to trick Dr. Scarpetta into opening the door to her house.

critique: The plot twist is not when the reader finds out that the werewolf is actually the brother of the man who was found in the container. The werewolf is a man who was hidden away from the world because of his condition. The werewolf is also fluent in English and is able to trick Dr. Scarpetta into opening the door to her house.

critique: The werewolf is not tricked. He is able to speak English.

text: The story does not reveal that the killer werewolf is the man's brother in the container. The model should instead point out the possibility since it is not certain.

question: Summarize how the main character, Dr Scarpetta, changes her views throughout the story.

answer: Dr Scarpetta is still shocked by the tragic loss of Benton Wesley. She is trying to carry on, but she gets a letter from Benton, written before his death and left to Senator Lord, who had agreed to deliver it a year after his death. Dr Scarpetta and Marino start working on a new case after a body is found in a container arriving from Belgium. There is writing in the container that says _“Bon voyage, le loup-garou”_ (Have a nice trip, the werewolf). The body has a strange tattoo and wears rich clothes and there are some baby-like hairs inside the garments. Kay and Marino get in touch with European Interpol and with Jay Talley, who calls them and makes them fly to Paris to meet the Chief Medical Examiner. They get to know that the body found in the container is a member of one of the richest and oldest families of Paris, the Chandonnes, who live in an ancient mansion on the Île St Louis. It is also rumored that this family has got a son with a rare disease that makes hair grow on his entire body (hypertrichosis). This person has always been hidden, and he is believed to have committed several murders. Kay and Jay have a short liaison, and it seems the man is really involved, while Dr Scarpetta tries to keep him at distance. Kay finds out that Lucy is in part involved in this case, since she is investigating a Miami group of weapons and drugs smugglers related to the Chandonnes, the “One Sixty-Fivers”.

critique: The answer is a summary of the plot, not her character development.

critique: The answer is a summary of the plot, not a description of Dr Scarpetta's character.

critique: The answer is missing a few key details about Dr. Scarpetta's character development.

critique: The answer is a summary of the plot, not a summary of how Dr Scarpetta changes her views throughout the story.

question: Summary the main reason the case faces problems in the beginning.

answer: No answer

critique: The article does provide a reason for the problems the investigation faces.

critique: The answer should mention the body found in the container.

question: Summarize how the case is resolved.

answer: Dr. Scarpetta is under attack by the killer at her home. It’s a struggle and she throws a bottle of Formalin on the face of the killer. She runs out of the house and falls, fracturing her elbow. When she next sees the killer, Lucy is pointing a gun at him but the police stop her. Eventually it is revealed that the killer is the brother of the victim in the container, who was sent to America to be hidden.

critique: The majority of the answer is incorrect.

critique: Doesn't effectively summarize the progression of Dr. Scarpetta surviving the attack at her home.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The killer is not the brother of the victim in the container.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

text: The story does not reveal that the killer is the victim's brother. The model should remove the last sentence since it cannot be attested.


split: train

text:
AHTYBA RUBIN ( ;[1] born July 25, 1986) is a former American football defensive tackle. He was drafted by the Cleveland Browns in the sixth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He played college football at Iowa State.

Early years

Born in Fort Belvoir, Virginia, Rubin graduated from Escambia High School in Pensacola, Florida in 2004, the same high school as former Cleveland Browns teammate Trent Richardson, and NFL Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith. He then went on to attend Trinity Valley Community College in Athens, Texas. In his freshman year, he played defensive line, but was converted into an offense lineman for his sophomore year. Rubin made the adjustment with significant success and earned all-conference and honorable mention All-America honors in 2006.

College career

Regarded as a three-star recruit out of junior college,[2] Rubin was recruited by a number of schools, and eventually picked Iowa State over TCU. He was switched back to defensive line in his junior year, and started the last nine games of the 2006 season. He finished the year with 34 tackles, four tackles for loss, and a sack.

As a senior, Rubin played in all of the Cyclones' games, registering 42 tackles (with four for loss) and recording 1.5 sacks.

Professional career

2008 NFL Draft

Following his impressive senior season at Iowa State, Rubin was regarded as a “productive NFL starter” at nose tackle, and projected a mid-third round pick by _Sports Illustrated_.[3]

Cleveland Browns

Rubin was selected in the sixth round (190th overall) by the Cleveland Browns, and was signed on July 22, 2008.[4]

He filled out a backup role for Browns nose tackle Shaun Rogers in 2008 and 2009, until Rogers went down with a lower leg injury in week 12 against the Cincinnati Bengals.[5] Rubin has since become the Browns starting nose tackle. In the 2010 offseason the Browns traded defensive end Corey Williams to the Detroit Lions, moved former starting nose Tackle Shaun Rogers to defensive end and promoted Rubin to starter due to his performance in 2009. 2010 was the best season of Rubin's young career, highlighted by his 87 tackles and an interception against Kansas City's Matt Cassel. In his five years with the Browns, Rubin has played in 72 games, starting 50 of them. His career totals are 9.0 sacks, 227 total tackles, 4 passes defended, 1 interception, 3 forced fumbles, and 1 fumble recovery.

Seattle Seahawks

On March 19, 2015 Rubin signed a one-year deal with the Seattle Seahawks.[6] The Seahawks released incumbent starting defensive tackle Tony McDaniel during training camp, giving Rubin a great opportunity at a starting job. In Week 4 against the Cincinnati Bengals, Rubin got his first sack as a Seahawk. In Week 11 vs the Pittsburgh Steelers, Rubin got an interception in a 39-30 victory.

On March 7, 2016, he signed a three-year contract.[7]

On September 2, 2017, Rubin was released by the Seahawks.[8]

Denver Broncos

On September 15, 2017, Rubin signed with the Denver Broncos.[9] He was released on October 17, 2017.[10]

Atlanta Falcons

On October 19, 2017, Rubin signed with the Atlanta Falcons.[11]

Oakland Raiders

On June 12, 2018, Rubin signed with the Oakland Raiders.[12] He was placed on injured reserve on August 15, 2018 after suffering a tear in his biceps.[13]

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title: Ahtyba Rubin

question: Summarize the most interesting thing about Rubin's life.

answer: No answer

critique: The question is asking for the most interesting thing about Rubin's life. The answer is empty.

critique: It's necessary, but the question blends biographical details with a relatively common question (what was the most interesting moment?)

text: It is omitted that he played in Cleveland Browns, Seattle Seahawks, Denver Broncos, Atlanta Falcons, and Oakland Raiders.

category: coverage

question: Summarize Rubin's reasons for retiring.

answer: No answer

critique: The passage does not mention anything about Rubin's retirement.

critique: The question is asking for a summary, not a full answer.


text:
[The cool tropics paradox. The geological evidence appeared to constrain temperatures to the red/blue band, whereas models produced the brown line taking just continental configuration into account, and the blue line when they included increased atmospheric . Vertical axis: Temperature; horizontal:latitude.] The COOL TROPICS PARADOX is the apparent difference between modeled estimates of tropical temperatures during warm, ice-free periods of the Cretaceous and Eocene, and the colder temperatures which proxies suggested were present. The long-standing paradox was resolved when novel proxy derived temperatures showed significantly warmer tropics during past greenhouse climates. The low-gradient problem, i.e. the very warm polar regions with respect to present day, is still an issue for state-of-the-art climate models.

Origin of the paradox

Proxy-based reconstructions of paleotemperature appeared to predict a low temperature gradient between the tropics and poles. Data from surface-dwelling foramanifera suggested that during the late Cretaceous, an unusually warm period, sea surface temperatures were cooler than today's.[1] The term was later applied to similar situations, for example during the Eocene.

Climate models which worked during the Tertiary failed to produce this low temperature gradient; in order to match the observed data, they predicted that the tropics should be 40 °C or more - much hotter than the proxies said they were, and much hotter than the tropical surface temperatures observed today, which average around 25 °C (77 °F). To attempt to match the data, bizarre models involving unreasonable eddies were required.

Models

Models were developed to predict and explain the lack of ice during the warm periods of the Cretaceous and Eocene. Models are developed according to the fundamental principle that they should be kept as simple as possible. Consequently, the first models attempted to explain the lack of ice using solely the different continental configuration.[2] These could not produce an ice-free state without using an increased atmospheric concentration of ; this assumption was checked against the evidence and found to be valid.[3] This introduced a new difficulty: more would produce warmer tropical sea temperatures, and the evidence suggested they were the same or even colder than today's.[4]

Data supporting cool tropical oceans

Foraminiferal data, suggesting tropical temperatures cooler than today's, disagreed with terrestrial proxies, which spoke of warmer temperatures[5] - although most of the terrestrial figures are based on extrapolation of data from outside the tropics.[6]

Sources of error

Analytical error is around 2−3 °C for individual specimens, but this drops to 0.5−1.0 °C when a sample is analysed - not enough to explain the discrepancy.[7] Other factors mean that any pristine sample can be considered to have an associated error of up to 3 °C. [8] Changes in salinity, kinetic and diagenesis, can also confound analysis: the latter two are each estimated to reduce estimated temperatures by 1−2 °C, and are difficult to quantify.[9]

Reconciling the data with the model

Taking the data to be true, how could they be reconciled with the predictions of the model? The only way the model could be “tweaked” was by fiddling with the parameterisation of clouds, one of the most unpredictable aspects of any model. The model was adjusted to assume that the higher levels produced more tropical cloud-cover, shielding these regions from the sun's heat.[10] However, there was no evidence for this behaviour, and still left problems. The poles were still _warmer_ than the models predicted.[11] Further feedbacks, including increased poleward heat transport by the oceans, and vegetational responses at high latitudes, were proposed, but these didn't fully explain behaviour in the southern hemisphere, and winter, respectively.[12]

Unravelling the paradox

Hints of warmth - terrestrial proxies

Data from terrestrial proxies suggested that the equator may have reached 30 °C[13] - however, this figure is based upon extrapolation of data found outside the tropics.[14] This would imply that the foramaniferal proxies were wrong - the tests may perhaps have been overprinted by diagenesis. Researchers turned to shallow marine molluscs as it is easy to determine whether their shells had been altered by diagenesis.

Detecting diagenesis in molluscs

Many mollusc shells are constructed from aragonite, a mineral that is quickly replaced by calcite by diagenetic alteration.[15] Also, near-shore molluscs preserve seasonal variability in their shells, a feature that would be lost in the presence of a diagenetic signal.[16] This removes ambiguity about whether or not a shell has been affected by post-deposition processes.

Data from molluscs

Evidence from the molluscs suggested a cooling between the Eocene and Oligocene.[17] Taken from the Mississippi embayment, they recorded temperatures of around 26 °C in the Eocene, and 22 °C in the Oligocene; this cooling was markedly seasonal, with reconstructed water temperatures being 5° cooler in the summer, but just 3° cooler in winter.[18] This trend fits best if was the dominant force for cooling.[19]

The winter temperatures of molluscs match well with the foramaniferal temperatures, suggesting that foramanifera predominantly grew during the winter months.[20] The overall temperatures corresponded well with terrestrial and modelled estimates of a sea surface temperature around 4–5° warmer than today's.[21]

Reassessment of the foraminiferal record

The magnesium/calcium paleothermometer is a recently developed alternative to the δ¹⁸O method, and avoids many of the uncertainties inherent in the latter method. Use of this technique generates results more consistent with those expected, in contrast to the original δ¹⁸O records from the same sites.[22] Further painstaking studies targeted solely those foraminifera which could be demonstrated not to have undergone any diagenesis in fact give a δ¹⁸O signature similar to that expected,[23] suggesting that poor preservation was responsible for the original confusion.

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title: Cool tropics paradox

question: What does the article say about the Cool tropics paradox?

answer: The Cool Tropics Paradox is the apparent difference between modeled estimates of tropical temperatures during warm, ice-free periods of the Cretaceous and Eocene, and the colder temperatures which proxies suggested were present. Predicted temperatures are over 50°C, but proxies found temperatures much lower. This paradox was solved when novel proxy derived temperatures showed that the tropics were warmer than temperatures suggested.

critique: The answer should mention the low gradient problem.

critique: The answer should mention the novel proxy derived temperatures.

critique: The phrase "50°C" can be replaced with the proper units "40°C".

critique: The model predicted temperatures much higher than the proxies, not over 50°C.

critique: The answer does not mention the resolution of the Cool Tropics Paradox.

critique: The answer should mention that the paradox was resolved when novel proxy derived temperatures showed significantly warmer tropics during past greenhouse climates.

critique: Add "The geological evidence appeared to constrain temperatures to the red/blue band, whereas models produced the brown line taking just continental configuration into account, and the blue line when they included increased atmospheric"

critique: The answer should mention the problem with the low gradient between the tropics and poles.

critique: "Predicted temperatures are over 50°C, but proxies found temperatures much lower." - this is inaccurate. The article doesn't mention anything about the predicted temperatures. It only says that the model predicted that the tropics should be 40°C or more, which is much hotter than the proxies said they were.

critique: The answer should mention that the paradox was resolved when novel proxy derived temperatures showed that the tropics were warmer than temperatures suggested.

critique: "Predicted temperatures are over 50°C, but proxies found temperatures much lower." - this is incorrect. The model predicted temperatures of 40°C+, while the proxies suggested temperatures were cooler.


text:
COHORS TERTIA DELMATARUM EQUITATA CIVIUM ROMANORUM PIA FIDELIS (“3rd part-mounted Cohort of Dalmatae Roman citizens, dutiful and loyal”, abbreviated _COH III D_), was a Roman auxiliary cohort mixed infantry and cavalry unit.

300px|thumb|right|Tombstone of _Tiberius Claudius Halotus_, erected by his father _Claudius Iustus_ ()

Origins

It was named after the Dalmatae, an Illyrian-speaking tribe that inhabited the Adriatic coastal mountain range of the eponymous Dalmatia. The ancient geographer Strabo describes these mountains as extremely rugged, and the Dalmatae as backward and warlike. He claims that they did not use money long after their neighbours adopted it and that they “made war on the Romans for a long time”. He also criticises the Dalmatae, a nation of pastoralists, for turning fertile plains into sheep pasture.[1] The name of the tribe itself is believed to mean “shepherds”, derived from the Illyrian word _delme_ (“sheep”).[2] The final time this people fought against Rome was in the Illyrian revolt of 6-9 AD.

The revolt was started by Dalmatae auxiliary forces and soon spread all over Dalmatia and Pannonia. The resulting war was described by the Roman writer Suetonius as the most difficult faced by Rome since the Punic Wars two centuries earlier. But after the war, the Dalmatae became a loyal and important source of recruits for the Roman army.

According to Holder, a total of 12 _cohortes Delmatarum_ appear to have been raised after the suppression of the Illyrian revolt in two series, of 7 and 5 respectively. All these units were in existence by the time of emperor Claudius (r. 41-54)[3] Of these, 9 appear to have survived into the 2nd century.[4]

The regiment was probably raised by founder-emperor Augustus (r. 30BC-14AD) after 9 AD. It was certainly in existence by the time of Claudius (r. 41-54).[5] Its early movements are unknown.

Home Base

It first appears in the datable epigraphic record in 80, in Germania Superior. It was still there in 134. Not later than 179, it was transferred to Dacia where it remained at least until 257-60, the time of its last datable inscription, a stone dedicated to the safety of emperor Gallienus (r. 260-8). Shortly afterwards, Dacia was definitively evacuated by the Roman army and the regiment presumably withdrawn.

Brick or tile stamps of this regiment have been found at the following Roman forts in Germania Superior, at Rottweil, Oberscheidenthal, Grosskrotzenburg, Rückingen, Wiesbaden, all on the line of the Main river. Attestations have also been found at Martinsfeld (Noricum) and Colonia Agrippina (Germania Inferior).

In Dacia the unit has left traces at Dierna,[6] castra of Moldova Veche,[7] Sucidava, Ulpia Traiana Sarmizegetusa, Praetorium (Mehadia)[8][9][10][11] and Porolissum.[12] The latter are the only datable evidence, for early/mid-3rd century.[13]

Soldiers

The name of one _praefectus_ (unit commander), one _signifer_ (standard-bearer) and three _caligati_ (common soldiers) are attested:[14][15]

-   _Aurelius Cornelius_ - veteranus [16]
-   _Aurelius Proculinus_ - signifer [17]
-   _Aurelius Surus_ - miles [18]
-   _Antestinus Valentius_ - miles [19]

Name And Titles

The regiment's _c.R._ title does not appear in the record until 222-35, but must have been granted considerably earlier, as after 212 all inhabitants of the empire were granted Roman citizenship. The regiment also appears to have acquired a number of titles. _Pia fidelis_ first appears in 116. In 222, it was referred to as _Alexandriana_ after emperor Severus Alexander (r.). In 257, it was called _Valeriana Galliena_ after Gallienus. At that time it is also referred to as _milliaria_ (double-strength), likely a late upgrading.[20] The last epigraphical record mentioning the unit dates around 268.[21]

Citations

[1] Strabo _Geographia_ VII.5

[2] Spaul (2000) 304

[3] Holder (1980) 112

[4] Spaul (2000) 302-14

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[6] Academia Română: Istoria Românilor, Vol. 2, Daco-romani, romanici, alogeni, 2nd. Ed., București 2010,

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[8] Mihail Macrea, Nicoale Gudea, Iancu Moțu - _Praetorium - Castrul și așezarea romană de la Mehadia_, Ed. Academiei Române, 1993

[9] Constantin C. Petolescu: Dacia - Un mileniu de istorie, Ed. Academiei Române, 2010,

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[11] Petru Ureche: Tactică, strategie și specific de luptă la cohortele equitate din Dacia Romană

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[13] Spaul (2000) 305

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title: Cohors III Delmatarum equitata c.R. pf

question: What does the story say about Cohors III Delmatarum equitata c.R. pf?

answer: It was a Roman auxiliary cohort mixed infantry and cavalry unit. It was named after the Dalmatae, an Illyrian-speaking tribe that inhabited the Adriatic coastal mountain range of the eponymous Dalmatia. The ancient geographer Strabo describes the mountains as extremely rugged, and the Dalmatae as backward and warlike. The name of the tribe means "shepherds", derived from the Illyrian word delme ("sheep").

question: What etymology data does the article give?

answer: The name of the cohort comes from the Dalmatae, an Illyrian tribe that inhabited Dalmatia. The name means shepherds and derives from the Illyrian word for sheep.

critique: The etymology of the name of the tribe is not in the article.

critique: The article does not give the etymology of the word "Dalmatae".

question: What does the story say about the size of the Adriatic Sea?

answer: No answer

critique: There is no basis for suggesting an answer.

critique: The Adriatic Sea is not mentioned in the article.

critique: The answer should mention that the Adriatic Sea is not mentioned in the text.

critique: The answer should mention that the question is not answered in the text.

critique: The text does not mention the Adriatic Sea.

critique: The Adriatic Sea is not mentioned in the text.


text:
Peter

As blood dripped from his new American Apparel t-shirt, Peter wondered if he'd made a mistake. It would take an awful amount of time to get it out, it was cotton after all, and had cost him a dear amount of money. He remembered when he bought it, it was a hot, stuffy day and the cashier was a chubby lady called Vicky. His card had been rejected by the machine at least 5 times before he'd gotten it to work. He'd left rather irritated that it had taken so long but pleased that he'd bought a new shirt and some socks. He glanced down at his hand and the still warm Smith and Wesson revolver that rested in his gnarled palm. The smell of smoke from the barrel  and chamber made him screw up his nose in disgust. His father was a smoker, at least he had been till Peter had taken him into the back garden and caved the back of his skull in with a spade for shouting at him one too many times. He cast the revolver aside onto the now red carpet, and brushed himself down. He picked a particularly large piece of flesh from his midriff and held it up to his eyes. He studied it closely before deciding it must be ear, judging by the cartilagenous texture of the skin. He felt his own ear, it was cold to the touch, which was when Peter realised he was still standing in the open doorway of the house. He shut the door briskly and strode over the mangled corpse that lay before him towards the kitchen. He started the kettle, quickly realised it had not been filled, tutted, and then refilled it from the tap. He waited in silence for it to boil and placed a teabag with surgeon-like precision into the Thomas the Tank Engine mug he had taken from the shelf. He poured exactly 375ml of hot water into his mug, stirred six times and removed the teabag before adding a teaspoon of milk. He watched as the reddish brown of the water slowly turned into a more pleasing creamy colour. He returned to the hallway and looked down at the man he had shot in the head. He sipped his tea at regular intervals whilst he pondered this man's story. Had he known this was to be his last day on Earth? Did he know that just 12 and a haf hours after he had woken up and started breakfast that his frontal lobe would be resting on his hallway chandelier? Maybe he'd considered not going into work and just staying in bed, not caring whether or not his spreadsheet would be ready by wednesday. He wondered if this man knew that Peter had followed him home, before entering his house and watching Eastenders for a half hour and eating cheese and pickle on toast. Peter wondered if he should move the body from the hallway, but decided against it as he didn't want blood over any more of the house, that would be unsightly. Instead he walked back into the kitchen and set his empty mug into the wash basin, then ran the water over his fingers until it became warm. He moved the tap head over the basin, squirted some fairy liquid into the mug and began to wash it with a nearby washcloth. Once it was done he decided he may as well continue as not to waste water and took a dirty plate from the counter. He placed into the water and rubbed it clockwise in concentric circles, being careful to clear all crumbs or left over pickle from the china. Peter glanced around the kitchen, impressed by the cleanliness. It was not unlike his own home, the mantelpiece was well dusted and the potted plant, a small spider-plant, appeared to be in good health. There were also some cards stacked neatly on the shelf. Peter dried his hands on his ruined shirt and picked up the first card. It had a picture of a Chinchilla with sunglasses on the front with the caption 'Chinchilling'. Peter allowed a smile to play on his lips before rapidly dismissing it. He opened the card to find the words 'Happy Birthday Dad, we all love you very much - Amy and Jess' in childish scrawl. He placed the card back onto the pile carefully and thought about the two children, Amy and Jessica. He thought they must look like their Dad, but the corpse in the hallway wasn't proving very useful to his mental image so Peter entered the living room in search of a picture of the pair. Adverts droned on quietly from the  old Toshiba television which lit the room with a dim, pulsing glow. Peter's fuzzy shadow lay on the wall, as silent as he was. After a few minutes of searching, Peter recovered a photo of two smiling girls, aged around 3 and 6 and who he presumed to be their mother standing in front of Blackpool tower. Peter had been to Blackpool before with his schoolmates, he'd sat on the end of the pier fiddling with some blu-tak whilst the other children played on the rides or with the fairground games. Mr Hershaw, his science teacher, had approached him and tried to convince him to come and play with the others. Peter had sat in silence wishing Mr Hershaw would leave. Mr Hershaw's cat died the next week, which was unfortunate for him. He placed the picture back on the window sill and sat down cross legged on the floor. The adverts on the television had stopped playing and had been replaced by a loud, tall man with large teeth hosting a family oriented gameshow. Peter grimaced and flicked the tv off with the sauce-stained remote. He now sat in the dark, alone in a foreign house with corpse for his only companion. It was almost funny, Peter felt like laughing; but he didn't laugh. He simply stood up and walked back into the doorway, he didn't need light to navigate, he had already memorized the structure of the small house. He stepped back over the body and grasped the brass doorknob. It was cold and he withdrew his hand quickly. Peter decided it would be wise to leave in more than just his t-shirt. He rolled the man over on to his side, so as he wouldn't have to step back over him. Peter was a skinny man, he always had been, and so rolling over the man's rather hefty frame was no easy task. He scoured the house for a coat, but quickly realised that the cadaver was the only one sporting a jacket. He heaved at the hem of the jacket, pulling it from the body. He did not see any point in un-buttoning it first as there was no head to make removal particularly difficult. He pulled the bloodied Weird Fish coat over his head, it was still warm and had some weight to it. Peter rifled through the pockets and picked out a pair of keys and an embroidered hankerchief. The keys had the words 'Renault' etched into them, and so Peter concluded that they must be for the car that resided in the driveway. Peter considered taking the car rather than walking, it was cold and he was already beginning to hear sirens. He had realised shortly after pulling the trigger that a high calibre handgun was not the most silent of killing devices, and it seemed that someone had noticed.

title: 'Peter' - [unfinished]

question: Summarize everything related to Peter's crimes.

answer: Peter has shot and killed a man, and is now in the man's house. He has stolen the man's Weird Fish coat and keys.

critique: The answer should mention the murder of Peter's father.

critique: Doesn't mention the murder of his father.

critique: The answer omits Peter's murder of his father.

critique: It is omitted that Peter killed his father.

critique: The answer omits that Peter murdered his father with a spade.

critique: The answer should mention that Peter killed the man's father.

critique: The answer should mention that Peter has killed the man's daughters' father.

question: What does the story say about Peter's victim's family?

answer: Peter has been following the victim home to his house. He is going through his things and looking at family photos. He finds a birthday card from his daughters. He also finds a picture of his wife and two daughters.

critique: The answer omits that Peter is looking at the victim's family to get a mental image of them.

critique: The answer should mention that Peter is going through the victim's things.

critique: The answer omits that Peter is going through the victim's things.

critique: The answer omits that the victim has two daughters.

critique: The answer should mention that the victim has two daughters.

critique: The response is missing the part about Peter thinking about the two girls.

question: Summarize everything related to clothing.

answer: Peter's new t-shirt gets blood on it. He doesn't notice that his entire shirt has blood on it, however. He cast aside his life with his dad because his dad was a smoker and had abused him in every way possible. Peter finds a coat in the house, along with some keys, which he assumes belong to the car in the driveway.

critique: The second sentence is not related to the question and should be removed.

question: Summarize how Peter gets away from the police.

answer: Peter takes the car keys from the dead man's pocket and drives away. He hears sirens and decides to leave the car. He walks away from the house.

critique: The answer should mention that Peter is not sure if the police are after him.

critique: The answer omits that Peter also takes the dead man's coat.

critique: The answer should mention that Peter is in the man's house.

critique: The answer omits that Peter is wearing the dead man's coat.

critique: It is omitted that Peter also takes the dead man's coat.

critique: It omits the part about him going through the house to search for other things to wear.

text: It is incorrect that he walks away from the house, Peter decides to take the car.

category: accuracy


text:
I've been a long time lurker but haven't made an account until now. I got bored over Spring Break and wrote this, feedback is appreciated.

*Michael*

“Turn right on East 42nd Street.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Michael Dunham had moved about a month ago, but he still wasn’t comfortable driving without a GPS. He took a right turn as instructed, the fire department building coming into sight. Michael let out a small sigh before pulling in and climbing out of his car. He felt too tired to work, but that was the problem with being a firefighter- one minute you’re relaxing, the next you’re sliding down a pole and speeding off to some emergency. Michael just hoped he wouldn’t be called in too early.

“Hey, Mike,” greeted his friend Andrew. He was a pretty friendly person in Michael’s opinion, but he never spent enough time with him to know anything about the man. “You feeling okay? You don’t look so great.”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. Just… fine…” Michael trailed off. He was doing everything he could not to fall asleep standing up. He couldn’t figure out why he was so tired. He’d gone to bed early, woke up at a reasonable hour… maybe it was that cold that was going around. Regardless, Michael slowly treaded through the department and upstairs, to the beds. Plopping down onto his own, he closed his eyes for a moment. Still, he knew that he had to be prepared for anything, so he took a few minutes to change into his uniform and set his equipment beside the bed. As soon as he lay back down, however, he was fast asleep.

Michael awoke to the sound of a blaring siren and shuffling feet. He felt somewhat well rested, but remained hazy and groggy. He grabbed his gear, stomping along with the rest of the men. He grabbed the fire pole with both hands, quickly sliding down. Seeing Andrew behind the wheel of a truck, he ran to the passenger side and leapt in. “We got a Class A fire at some Cul-De-Sac on Lincoln Avenue,” said Andrew. Class A meant a standard fire from wood, paper, fabric or plastic. Someone might have knocked over a candle or something, but it shouldn’t be too bad.

As they drove, some other information came from the radio. The fire didn’t sound very dangerous, until Michael heard that the family was trapped inside. Some of the ceiling had collapsed due to years of unknown wear, and the main door was blocked. Even worse, the home had those old picture windows, the ones that didn’t open. As the truck eventually pulled up to the home, Andrew ran out and attached a fire hose to a nearby hydrant, beginning to spray down the fire. Michael was preparing to run in and save the family, when he noticed an empty gas can near a vehicle on the house’s driveway. The contents of the can had spilled all over the ground. “Wait!” yelled Michael.

“What is it Mike, we don’t have time for this!” replied Andrew.

“There’s an open gas can, this isn’t a Class A fire!” screamed Michael.

Andrew had a look of horror on his face. He turned to the other firefighters, relaying this information. Michael knew what this all meant. With things like gasoline and liquid fires, spraying it with water only causes the fuel to scatter and spread flames. Now Michael really had to get in and help those people. He strapped on his SCBA (gasmask), grabbed his fire axe, and sprinted into the home. He quickly navigated through the rubble, listening for any coughing or yelling. “Help!” screamed a young woman, her leg trapped by a large wooden plank. Michael knelt down, grabbing the plank with both arms and lifting. It began to rise, but then the wave of tiredness struck Michael again. He couldn’t find the strength to pull the plank off. He tried over and over again, but was startled by a large rumbling from the roof. He looked up to see something falling, and before he could act he completely blacked out.

“Mike… hey, Mike?”

“Michael! Wake up!”

“Mike! Come on, man!”

“I’m up, I’m up,” Michael coughed.

“Hey, man… you survived.” Andrew said to Michael, giving him a pat on the back.

“The… family?” asked Michael.

Andrew just gave him a frown. “They, uh… We were able to get you out, but the girl had been crushed. The rest of the family couldn’t get out before a whole section of the house collapsed.”

Michael stayed silent, but he began to sob.

PATIENT NOTES

MICHAEL JAMES DUNHAM

GENDER: Male

AGE: 31

HEIGHT: 5’10

WEIGHT: 183 lb.

STATUS: Mentally Unstable

Michael is a firefighter who was injured on-duty. He attempted to save a trapped woman whose leg was caught. He was then sent unconscious as some falling rubble hit him and the woman. Michael was saved but the girl and family inside the house were not.

Michael has become a very silent and reserved person, only speaking when I initiate conversation. He is shortening his sentences to only say what needs to be stated. He does not appear to be showering, shaving, or showing any regard for his own personal hygiene.

Michael has shown signs of extreme depression and thoughts of suicide. He continues to tell me that if he is ever going to end his own life, he is going to jump off his own fire department’s building. I have prescribed anti-depressant medication, but it seems to be having no effect.
In short, it would be advised to keep an eye on Michael, especially late at night, when it seems his suicidal tendencies spike. Do not let him operate vehicles or machinery after 10 P.M. unless it is a critical emergency.

-Dr. Ethan McCreary

Michael slowly climbed out of bed, looking at the clock. 11:30 P.M, it read. He remained silent, sauntering out of his bedroom. He moved to the front door, grabbing his car keys and stepping outside. Getting into his vehicle, he turned on the GPS and began speeding off.

“Turn right on East 42nd Street.”

title: [RF] Michael

question: What does the story say about Class B fires?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story does not mention Class B fires.

question: What does the story say about how Michael was feeling the day they responded to the fire on Lincoln Avenue?

answer: By Monday morning, Michael was feeling tired and groggy. He collapsed into his bed at the firefighter department and fell into unconscious sleep. He woke up when he heard a blaring siren and shuffling feet. He grabbed his gear and headed out to a fire. He got into the truck with Andrew, who drove off to a fire at a cul-de-sac called Lincoln Avenue. On arrival, Michael and the team discovered that the family was trapped inside. He couldn't keep his thoughts organized, eventually radioing that the Class A fire was a gas fire. Michael insists on running into the building, his mind clouded over by exhaustion. By the time he finally made it to the front door, his thoughts were filled with the image of a crushed woman. He was distraught and felt the need to keep talking about her, her being yet another piece of himself he's lost.

critique: The story doesn't mention Michael collapsing into his bed at the firefighter department and falling into unconscious sleep.

text: It is omitted that he sobbed when he heard that the family is not saved.

question: What does the story say about the fire Michael and the other firefighters responded to?

answer: Michael and the other firefighters responded to a Class A fire at a Cul-De-Sac on Lincoln Avenue. The fire was caused by someone knocking over a candle or something. The family was trapped inside, and the main door was blocked. The ceiling had collapsed due to years of unknown wear. The windows didn't open, and the firefighters couldn't get inside. Michael noticed an empty gas can near a vehicle on the house's driveway. The contents of the can had spilled all over the ground. Michael knew that spraying the fire with water would only cause the fuel to scatter and spread flames.

critique: The answer should mention that the family was trapped inside the burning house.

critique: It is omitted that Michael proceeded to make his way into the house to save the trapped people when it collapsed and caused him to get injured.

critique:
-The answer should mention that the fire got out of hand when the firefighters tried to douse it with water.
-The answer should also include that Michael is the only firefighter who got injured in the fire.

critique: The answer should mention that Michael was injured.

text: It is omitted that the family was not saved.

question: What does the story say about Michael's condition after the fire?

answer: Michael is a 31-year-old firefighter who was injured on duty. He attempted to save a trapped woman whose leg was caught. He was then sent unconscious as some falling rubble hit him and the woman. Michael was saved but the girl and family inside the house were not. Michael has become a very silent and reserved person, only speaking when the doctor initiates conversation. He is shortening his sentences to only say what needs to be stated. He does not appear to be showering, shaving, or showing any regard for his own personal hygiene. Michael has shown signs of extreme depression and thoughts of suicide. He continues to tell the doctor that if he is ever going to end his own life, he is going to jump off his own fire department's building. The doctor has prescribed anti-depressant medication, but it seems to be having no effect. In short, it would be advised to keep an eye on Michael, especially late at night, when it seems his suicidal tendencies spike. Do not let him operate vehicles or machinery after 10 P.M. unless it is a critical emergency.

critique: This is not relevant to the question and should be omitted.

critique: The answer is a summary of the entire story, not just Michael's condition after the fire.

critique: The summary is too long and needs to be shortened.

critique: The highlighted text is irrelevant to the question and should be removed.

critique: The answer is a summary of the entire story. It should be rewritten.

critique: This is not relevant to his condition after the fire.

critique: It's not stated that only the doctor can initiate conversation with Michael.

text: It is omitted that one evening at 11.30, he goes to the fire department building.


text:
I was there when my parents told her. I watched them sit my sister down in the lounge room; I was peering around the wall. I already knew. There must have been some expression on their faces as they sat in a moment’s silence. Because she knew. She was only 10, but she knew.

The silence turned into a minute, a time during which I saw many expressions: confusion, worry, disbelief, sorrow, and pain. All in silence. Because she knew.

“Pogo,” Dad finally said, and, before he spoke another word, I watched her eyes widen and glisten with tears waiting to waterfall down those smooth cheeks. “He’s been in an accident.” That was all that needed to be said, the key to open the floodgates behind the shiny, blue eyes. Because she knew.

*She’d gotten Pogo as a puppy, only three years beforehand. A birthday gift, a basket and a bow tie and a ribbon. Sure, it was clichéd, but she didn’t care. Neither did Pogo, the bouncing bundle of fluff, who on seeing his new companion had leapt clean out of the wicker and showered her with licks. I had been there too; I had seen the eyes widen with happiness, not sorrow; I had seen the cheeks grow red with excitement, not pain; I had seen bright smiles, not quivering lips. He was hers and she was his. He knew that. She knew that.*

Mum got up and sat next to her, arm gently around her shoulder, drawing her in tight. Dad did the talking; Mum was comfort.
“Is he going to be alright?” The words were slow spoken and shaking, because in only that short time, her mind had put everything together. They would have been happier if Pogo was going to be alright; they would not have made such a big deal about it all. She’d be with Pogo right now if all would be fine, stroking his fur, and whispering comfort into those floppy ears. They would have been at the vet. But they weren’t. She wasn’t. She knew.

“I’m sorry, darling,” said Dad, as Mum squeezed just that little bit tighter.

“What happened?” She didn’t really want to know.

“There was a car.”

She stood up quickly, letting out a gasp and a squeak of shock. I reeled back from the corner as she approached, running to her room. She passed me, and in the second’s eye contact I felt her burn. I had been listening in, watching. She knew. And her heart, I feel, broke that little bit more. I wasn’t there for her. But I’m not good at comfort, at caring, knowing what to do or say, or even whether to do or say anything at all. Mum does that. Mum and Dad.

I looked around the corner again. Dad had joined Mum on the lounge. He had her in his arms.
“She’ll be alright.”

**I remember it all, running through my mind as I stand in front of her door. Do I knock? Do I open it? Do I walk away? I am lost in the moment, sent back, reliving the same feelings, the feelings that sunk into my heart as she walked past. The torture of the past. I hadn’t known what to do then. How could I know now? And so I stand in front of that door, silent and still, wanting to enter and wanting to run. She didn’t know. I had to tell her.**

I followed her to her room. I was in the hallway when I heard the door slam shut, followed by the creaking metal of the old bed springs and the muffled scream into the pillow. Again. Again.

I stood in front of the door. Over time the screams stopped, replaced by perhaps a more heart wrenching sound: sobbing. I reached forward with my hand, placing it onto the cold metal handle. It squeaked as I pushed down.

“Go away!” I turn and leave. She didn’t need me.

**She needs me now. She needs me and she doesn’t know it, doesn’t know why. I have to tell her. So many years have come and gone, but right now the memory is as clear as if it happened yesterday. The house has changed and the years have changed us, but it’s still the same. It’s still me standing at her door, wanting to run. But I have to stay.**

**The handle doesn’t squeak; she doesn’t notice me until the door is wide open. She’s lying on her bed, laptop flipped up, studying ever so hard, writing her thesis. She looks at me.**

**The demon returns, that dreadful silence. I stand there. She opens her mouth to speak but then she stops and her lips close softly. She has seen that look before, the look I do not know I am wearing. I guess it must always be the same look, no matter who gives it. The laptop closes and she sits up, turning on the side of the bed. Our eyes haven’t broken.**

**Then it’s my turn to relive the past, as her still-smooth face goes through the very same list from all those years ago: confusion, worry, disbelief, sorrow, and pain. All in silence. Because she knows. Somehow she knows.**

**I open my mouth to speak. I wish I did not have to. I wish that Dad and Mum were here to do it, here to say what has to be said. I do not want to be the one to open those floodgates, release the shimmering stream from those deeper, blue eyes. But I have to be.**

**Dad’s not here anymore, and never again will Mum hold her close.**

**So I do.**

title: [RF] Because she knew.

question: Summarize the plot of the story.

answer: The narrator must tell his sister that their parents have died in a car accident. He remembers the time when he was only a kid and he was standing in the hallway, listening to her cries when their parents had told her that Pogo, their dog, had died. He stands in front of her door but doesn't go in. He knows that he has to tell her but he can't bring himself to do it.

critique: The narrator's parents are dead, not his sister.

critique: The narrator is the one who has to tell his sister about their parents' death, not the other way around.

critique: The narrator is the one who has to tell his sister that their parents have died in a car accident.

critique: The parents' deaths weren't in a car accident; the parent's car hit Pogo, who was not Pogo's first time meeting death.

text: It was never implied anywhere in the text how their parents died. It was Pogo who was hit by a car.

question: Summarize the narrator's sister's relationship with Pogo.

answer: The narrator's sister got Pogo as a birthday gift, three years prior to the story. She was initially overjoyed with the puppy. Now that the narrator's father told her Pogo was dead in a car incident, her relationship with Pogo has now changed as she was struck with grief because Pogo was a gift given to her.

critique: The narrator's sister's relationship with Pogo is not mentioned in the text.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator's sister and Pogo were very close.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator's sister is grieving for Pogo.

text: "three years prior to the story. She was initially overjoyed with the puppy. Now that the narrator's father told her Pogo was dead in a car incident, her relationship with Pogo has now changed as she was struck with grief because Pogo was a gift given to her." - this part of the response has inaccuracies. Three years prior to the story is incorrect and should have just said that the sister only had Pogo for three years before the accident. The sister's relationship with Pogo also didn't change just because the dog died.

question: Summarize the narrator's relationship with their sister.

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should state that the narrator has a complicated relationship with their sister because they feel responsible for her pain.


text:
“You should put on some long pants,” I advised my brother.

We headed down through a yellow field of tall grasses.  Its slope converged at the center like a valley, here, high among the San Francisco foothills.  The Western sun shone gently upon our earnest escapades.  I wanted our adventures to embody the spirit of this city, a mystical bastion of all freedoms.

The field's ending was demarcated by a sort of incomplete fence, probably put there decades ago by the Spanish or the young American imperialists.  We stumbled to the gate, which hung open perfectly and allowed the cool ocean breeze to pass through like a gust of its own breath.  Matt was waiting on the other side.  He was a year older and wiser, well acquainted with the ways of the city's center.  He'd told us stories about all of the nooks and strange neighborhoods, the nudists and the secret passageways and the unique chill you could feel when you ate ice cream on the beach near the Golden Gate Bridge.

Matt was just the person I wanted to see.  Though I knew it would disappoint my brother, my goal would be aided by this traveler's expertise with the city's heartbeat.  I bid my time as we made our way through the less fertile crags of the hills, full of rocks, mosses, and bird droppings.

We overcame the precipice, and I could see a large numbers of graves in the direction we were heading in.  As we approached, I heard a slight buzz.  Matt groaned and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

“I have to get home for dinner, guys.  Sorry.  Maybe tomorrow.”

*Damn*, I thought.  I consoled myself with the knowledge that I couldn't have asked him now, anyway.  I could still enjoy this exploration- what appeared to be an antique cemetery, alone with my similarly-minded brother.  We stepped up, upon the artificially elevated ground of the yard, and looked around.  The rows went on for what seemed like forever.  I noticed a huge chamber near the center, which had to be a tomb for someone important.  As I went along, I observed the dates on the graves.  I was surprised at the age: they were almost exclusively from the mid-to-late 1700s, and the few exceptions were only slightly newer.  One must have been a young boy: his date of death was just before his eighth birthday.  Some had flowery patterns carved into the sides, and there were the customary cherubic angels tending to the invisible gardens growing atop the headstones.

I reached the massive tomb.  The faded brown doors exuded an antiquated feeling, and I could see that the stony sides were cracking.  Looking around and discovering no unwanted observers, I drew closer.  I saw notes and small trinkets scattered upon the small floor in front of the entrance.  Upon further inspection, the door was missing one of its bolts.  This rendered it almost imperceptibly ajar, but the opening was there.  I cautiously took another step forward and heard a crunch under my foot.  Curious, I leaned down and picked up the note.

The handwriting was scrawled hurriedly, and I could barely make it out on the piece of paper that was shredded at all corners.  After a little scrutiny, I picked out the strange message:

“NOT ME AGAIN”

I dropped it and ran blindly from the tomb.  My eyes scanned the graveyard and I realized that I didn't know where my brother was.  I tripped and fell, and collected myself against General Juan Pablo de la Trinidad's epitaph.  Slowly, I was able to calm myself, and rationalized it by acknowledging the likelihood of bored vandals.

My brother came trudging up from the left.  “A lot of old graves,” he quipped.

I brushed off my jeans, embarrassed at my former fright.   The sun now hung just a nickel's width above the Pacific, and I reminded my brother that we should head back.  I hadn't talked to Matt or seen the cool parts of the city, but I had tomorrow.  I still had to visit Fortunata, and who knew what she might show me?

title: The Old Cemetery

question: Summarize the motivations of the narrator.

answer: The narrator and his brother are exploring San Francisco. They want to find the coolest parts of the city, and they want to do it with people who know it well. They meet Matt, who knows a lot about the city. The narrator wants to see the coolest parts of the city because they want their adventures to embody the spirit of San Francisco as a mystical bastion of all freedoms.

critique: The narrator's brother is not motivated by the same things as the narrator.

critique: The narrator's brother is not mentioned as being motivated by the same things as the narrator.

text: All but the last sentence is unnecessary, unrelated to motivation.

category: coherence

question: What does the story say about Matt?

answer: Matt is a year older and wiser than the narrator and his brother. He's well acquainted with the ways of the city's center. He's a traveler who knows the city's heartbeat. He's also a nudist. He's the narrator's friend, but he has to leave early because he has to go home for dinner.

critique: The answer should mention that Matt is the narrator's friend.

text: Matt is not said to be a nudist himself, remove this from the response.

question: What does the text say about the narrator's parents?

answer: No answer

critique: This response does not answer the question when one can be clearly surmised from the text.


text:
DOC. DR. ING. VLADIMÍR VALACH, CSC. (born 26 April 1937 in Tekovské Nemce, Slovakia - died 5 March 2006 in Bratislava, Slovakia) was a Slovak diplomat, economist and writer, who significantly contributed to the development of Slovak banking sector and French-Slovak relations.

Vladimír Valach studied at the University of Economics in Prague (1955 to 1960). Between 1968-1976 he worked as a branch manager of the Czechoslovak commercial bank in Bratislava. Subsequently he held the post of a deputy general director of the Czechoslovak National Bank. In the 1990s, Valach capitalized on his experience in the field of banking and monetary policy, when he was named the first vice-governor of the CNB's Emission bank in Prague. He contributed to the transition process of the Czechoslovak koruna to a currency with internal and later external convertibility (3 devaluations of koruna at the beginning of the 1990s), as well as during the separation of currencies after the break-up of the federation and the subsequent creation of Slovak koruna.

In the 1990s he was involved in the creation of the Slovak Guarantee Bank as a first bank of its kind in the ČSFR. He also participated in the creation of Credit Lyonnais Bank Slovakia, became its general manager and at the same time the president of its Board of Trustees. Vladimír Valach was a founding president of the French-Slovak Chamber of Commerce and was able to utilize his positive relation with France in 1997, when he was made the Slovak ambassador in Paris. For his work and contribution to the development of Slovak-French relations he was awarded the title of the Knight of Légion d'honneur of the French Republic. In Slovakia he continued working towards the development of the country's banking sector and at the beginning of the 21st century Valach held the position of the Director of the Slovak Bank Association, which contributed to his position as an expert on Slovak economy. At the same time he dedicated his time to lecturing on diplomacy at the School of International Relations of the University of Economics in Bratislava and literary work.

Vladimír Valach died on 5 March 2006 in Bratislava.

Works

PROFESSIONAL PUBLICATIONS

-   Nové dimenzie rizík na zahraničných trhoch a devízová návratnosť (New dimensions of risks in foreign markets and return of foreign exchange), 1981
-   Riziká na zahraničných trhoch a devízová návratnosť (Risks in foreign markets and return of foreign exchange), 1986
-   Adaptácia - kritérium úspešnosti ekonomiky (Adaptation - a criterion for the success of economy), 1990
-   Medzinárodné hospodárske vzťahy v kapitalizme (International economic relations in capitalism), 1986 - coauthor
-   Medzinárodný platobný styk a menové vzťahy (International payment and monetary relations), 1997 - coauthor

OTHER

-   Paris - Bratislava, alebo, Prečo mám rád Francúzsko? (Paris - Bratislava, or why I like France), 2002
-   Paris - Bratislava, ou, Pourquoi j'aime la France? (Paris - Bratislava, or why I like France), 2005

title: Vladimír Valach

question: What does the text say about Vladimír Valach's personal life?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the text does not mention anything about Valach's personal life.

critique: The text does mention that Valach was born in 1937 and died in 2006.

critique: The text explicitly mentions that Valach was born in 1937 and died in 2006.

critique: The text does mention his personal life.

question: What does the text say about the Slovak banking sector during Valach's time?

answer: The Slovak banking sector was significantly developed during Valach's time. He contributed to the transition process of the Czechoslovak koruna to a currency with internal and later external convertibility. He also participated in the creation of the Slovak Guarantee Bank as a first bank of its kind in the ČSFR. He was also the Director of the Slovak Bank Association at the beginning of the 21st century.

critique: Instead of saying "at the beginning of the 21st century," the commentary could more directly denote that feature of Valach's role.

critique: The response contains extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The answer should mention that he was the first vice-governor of the CNB's Emission bank in Prague.

critique: The answer should mention that Valach was the first vice-governor of the CNB's Emission bank in Prague.

question: What does the text say about Valach's notable achievements?

answer: Valach was named the first vice-governor of the CNB's Emission bank in Prague. He was involved in the creation of the Slovak Guarantee Bank as a first bank of its kind in the ČSFR. He participated in the creation of Credit Lyonnais Bank Slovakia, becoming its general manager and president of its Board of Trustees. He was a founding president of the French-Slovak Chamber of Commerce and was able to utilize his positive relation with France in 1997 when he was made the Slovak ambassador in Paris. For his work and contribution to the development of Slovak-French relations he was awarded the title of the Knight of Légion d'honneur of the French Republic.

critique: The response contains extraneous information not useful for the task.


text:
LA JOLLA INSTITUTE FOR IMMUNOLOGY is a non-profit research organization located in La Jolla, California. It is located in UC San Diego’s Research Park. The Institute researches immunology and immune system diseases. The Institute employs 23 faculty members and more than 300 employees. Dr. Mitchell Kronenberg has served as its President and Scientific Director since 2003. The Institute was founded in 1988.[1]

La Jolla Institute for Immunology is a collaborative research organization that has forged many partnerships within the research community in San Diego, across the United States, and abroad. The institute's biomedical research facility covers 145,000 square feet inclusive of specialized research rooms suited for all aspects of molecular and cellular biology.

History

La Jolla Institute for Immunology was established in 1988[2] by a coalition that included Dr. Makoto Nonaka, the Institute's founding president, and Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka, the Institute's first scientific director.[3]

In 1989 the Institute began its laboratory operations with the arrival of two immunologists, Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka and Dr. Teruko Ishizaka, from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. The Ishizakas were co-discoverers in 1966 of the IgE (immunoglobulin E) protein, a molecule that induces allergic reactions in the human body.[4] In 1991 Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka was appointed President/Scientific Director of the Institute and served in this role until his retirement in 1995.[5][6][7]

In 1995 Dr. Howard Grey joined La Jolla Institute of Immunology as president and scientific director. During the next several years, the Institute recruited prominent faculty members and formulated a program to accelerate the commercial development of LJI's research and drug discoveries. In 1996 the Institute moved from its initial location on Torrey Pines Road in La Jolla to a new purpose-built facility on Science Center Drive on the Torrey Pines Mesa.[8]

In 2003 Dr. Mitchell Kronenberg was appointed President and Scientific Director. That same year, the Immune Epitope Database (IEDB) was established and launched.[9] The database was designed and developed by the La Jolla Institute under a competitive contract from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), part of the NIH. In 2012, the NIH renewed their contract with the Institute for a further seven years.[10]

In 2006 the Institute opened a new research facility located in the new UC San Diego Science Research Park. In 2011, the Institute opened the RNAi Center for Identifying Genetic Triggers of Disease. The center's goal is to propel scientific efforts to pinpoint the specific genes involved in causing immune diseases, cancer, and other diseases using RNA interference (RNAi) technology.[11] That same year, the La Jolla Institute and Immunology became the fifth collaborating organization to join the Sanford Consortium for Regenerative Medicine.[12]

In 2013 La Jolla Institute extended its partnership with the Japanese pharmaceutical company Kyowa Hakko Kirin. The six-year agreement continues a research alliance that began in 1988.[13] In 2015 the La Jolla Institute for Immunology announced its affiliation with the UC San Diego Health System.[14]

In 2018, the La Jolla Institute for Allergy and Immunology changed its name to La Jolla Institute for Immunology to reflect its current focus.[15]

In 2020, scientists at the institute formed a Coronavirus Task Force[16] in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. At the same time, the institute became the home of the Coronavirus Immunotherapy Consortium (CoVIC),[17] a research collaboration to test antibodies against the novel coronavirus, SARS-CoV-2, led by structural virologist Erica Ollmann Saphire.

Scientific Activities

Scientists at La Jolla Institute for Immunology study the fundamental workings of the immune system. This includes studying the cells driving allergies and autoimmune diseases, as well as the cells that aim to fight cancers and infectious diseases. The institute is made up of three centers: the Center for Autoimmunity and Inflammation, the Center for Cancer Immunotherapy and the Center for Infectious Disease and Vaccine Research.

[1]

[2]

[3]  [] This article contains quotations from this source, which is available under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0) license.

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

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[17]

title: La Jolla Institute for Immunology

question: Summarize what happened in the 2010's.

answer: In 2012, the NIH renewed their contract with the Institute. In 2006, the Institute open a new research facility. The Research Park was made during the conversation process. The Institute was a member organization of The Sanford Consortium for Regenerative Medicine, and has formed a research alliance with the Japanese Pharmaceutical company Kyowa Hakko Kirin. In 2021, one of the Institute's scientific goals became to research antibodies as a way of fighting the novel coronavirus.

critique: The last line is not relevant to the question.

critique: "The Research Park was made during the conversation process." - this is incorrect. The Institute was a member organization of The Sanford Consortium for Regenerative Medicine, and has formed a research alliance with the Japanese Pharmaceutical company Kyowa Hakko Kirin. In 2021, one of the Institute's scientific goals became to research antibodies as a way of fighting the novel coronavirus. - this is also incorrect.

text: It was in 2020 that the institute began to research antibodies for fighting the novel coronavirus.

question: What does the text say about the Ishizaka's?

answer: Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka and Dr. Teruko Ishizaka were the first two immunologists to arrive at the Institute in 1989. They were co-discoverers in 1966 of the IgE (immunoglobulin E) protein, a molecule that induces allergic reactions in the human body. Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka was appointed President/Scientific Director of the Institute in 1991 and served in this role until his retirement in 1995.

critique: The answer should mention that Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka was the Institute's founding president.

critique: The answer omits that Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka and Dr. Teruko Ishizaka are the parents of Dr. Teruko Ishizaka.

critique: The answer should mention that Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka was the Institute's first scientific director.

critique: It's omitted that Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka was the Institute's founding president.

critique: The answer should indicate how long they stayed at the Institute.

critique: Kimishige's wife, Teruko, was also co-discoverer of the IgE.

critique: The answer should mention that Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka and Dr. Teruko Ishizaka are his wife and her sister.

question: Summarize the relevance of La Jolla Institute in the medical community.

answer: La Jolla Institute for Immunology is a non-profit research organization that researches immunology and immune system diseases. It was established in 1988 by a coalition that included Dr. Makoto Nonaka, the Institute's founding president, and Dr. Kimishige Ishizaka, the Institute's first scientific director. The Institute employs 23 faculty members and more than 300 employees. It has forged many partnerships within the research community in San Diego, across the United States, and abroad.

critique: The answer should mention the Institute's research into the immune system.

critique: The answer should mention the research being done at the institute.

critique: The answer should mention the research done by the institute.

critique: The answer should mention that the Institute researches the fundamental workings of the immune system.

critique: The answer should mention the research the institute has done.

critique: The answer should mention the Institute's scientific activities.

critique: The answer should mention some of the accomplishments at the institute in greater detail.

question: Summarize the involvement of benefactors in the La Jolla Institute.

answer: No answer

critique: The article mentions the benefactors of the Institute.

critique: The answer should mention the benefactors involved in the founding of the institute.

text: The answer should state that the text does not provide the answer to this question.


text:
    High school would be starting next week. Until this morning, that had been the only thing on 15 year old Allerton Solvaire’s mind. He had gone shopping for new clothes yesterday with his mother. Although none of his classmates were old enough to drive, he seemed to be the only one that had to show up at the mall with a parent. How his classmates managed to get to the mall always eluded him.
Now, here in the forest behind his home, the other end of the universe seemed closer than yesterday at the mall. Al realized he could not remember the last time he had walked this path, nor could he remember why he stopped coming. His mother would have a similar realization next Sunday when she would attend Mass at St. Peter’s for the first time in almost 25 years.
    The mourning doves above him and the ferns on either side of his path stood in stark contrast with the sparsely scattered beer cans and candy wrappers. He hurried his pace just a bit. It wasn’t so much that he was in hurry to get anywhere as much as he wanted to increase the distance from where he had come.
He passed the spot where seven years earlier, he and his then best friend Jimmy Radcliffe from next door had built one of their countless tree forts. The forts had never consisted of much more than large branches, rope, and bits of scrap wood that Al had managed to smuggle from his father’s shed. On the day that Jimmy and Al were building the fort that he now passed, Jimmy had told him how his father would often come home from work drunk and angry and hit Jimmy and his mother. Jimmy told him how his father would yell at them both, calling them “ungrateful fucks.”
    This day was two firsts for Al. It was the first day that he had ever really heard “the f-word” said aloud, and it was the first day he had ever felt real hatred for a person: Mr. Radcliffe. Al and Jimmy didn’t speak much of the rest of that day while they worked on the fort.
Al stayed awake in bed that night crying quietly to himself.
Because his best friend’s father was a monster.
Because there was nothing he, a stupid little kid, could do about it.
Because for the first time he realized things aren’t always okay.

    Al reached the part of the forest where the path opened into a small field with tall pine trees along the perimeter. He surveyed his old territory. The same patch of tall blue flowers along the west. The same zigzag streak of clovers hugged close to the ground in the center. Even the same inexplicable rustying car door opposite the path that brought him here. The car door still defying logic by lying in a field almost 400 yards from the nearest road.
He and Jimmy used to imagine ways that the car door had ended up here. Each time they would pass the it, the story would become more elaborate and the two of them would laugh endlessly, as only two eight-year old boys can do.
    Al walked to the patch of clovers and sat down. It was almost 11am on a breezy Friday in September and Allerton Jeffrey Solvaire wished that he was crying. Crying the way he heard his mother this morning as he slipped out the backdoor into the woods.

    It always had seemed to Al that when he cried, all of the conflicting thoughts and emotions circling each other in his mind were simplified into one compressed outburst. Things make sense when you are crying, even if the feeling is horrific, at least it makes sense. The only thing Al wanted more than to cry was for it to be yesterday, or for him to wake up in bed and realize today was just a dream. Since this wasn’t going to happen, he continued to sit in the patch of clovers.
Jimmy Radcliffe’s drunken father was the first person Al had ever felt hate for. Today, he felt a new type of hate. The idea of hate stemming from a deep love was a few year’s beyond Al’s understanding, but you don’t have to fully understand something to experience it full force.
It was just like Rob to do this.
Rob was 23.
Was.
Rob was Al’s only brother.
Was.

Al was sitting down in the living room watching TV after breakfast this morning. His parents were in he kitchen washing dishes with the radio on.
“And she‘ll have fun, fun, fun ‘til her daddy takes her T-Bird awaaaaay…”

Al’s least favorite Beach Boys song.

    Al glanced out the window and immediately saw the men with the flag walking up to his front door. He saw the man carrying the flag and knew.
It was just like Rob to run off to some goddamned foreign country to protect other people’s families and leave his own behind. Just like him to not think of Al. Just like Rob to go off and get blown up or shot or run over or… or whatever, and die and leave him here alone.
Rob was an army officer.
Was.
From now on, everything about him would be past tense.

Rob was in the army.

Rob was my brother.

Rob was enough of a jerk to leave me here with no brother.

“Now he’s just a goddamned flag and a medal that we’re gonna hang over the mantle and stare at,” Al said aloud without realizing it.

    He stood up, dusted off the bottom of his jeans and approached one of the large pine trees along the edge of the field. As he began to climb the branches, he imagined the scene back at his house. The two Army officers would have left by now. His father would be standing next to his mother. His father silent, with one hand holding his coffee and one around Al’s mom.

title: [RF] thousand words about a boy and his brother. Any comments welcome.

question: What does the story say about Jimmy?

answer: Jimmy was Al's best friend. He and Al built a tree fort together. Jimmy told Al how his father would come home drunk and angry and hit Jimmy and his mother. Jimmy told him how his father would yell at them both, calling them "ungrateful fucks." Jimmy's father was a monster.

critique: The answer is more than enough information than necessary. It should be trimmed down to only the most important details.

critique: The last sentence is unnecessary as it refers to Jimmy's father and not Jimmy. This can be shortened by removing this last sentence.

critique: Jimmy's father was a monster, not Jimmy.

text: It's omitted that Jimmy and Al would laugh endlessly when they hung out together.

question: Summarize the nature descriptions.

answer: The narrator describes the forest behind his home as a place that seems closer than yesterday at the mall. The forest is described as having mourning doves and ferns. The narrator describes the path as having sparsely scattered beer cans and candy wrappers. The narrator describes the field as having tall pine trees along the perimeter.

critique: The answer omits the description of the clover field.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator describes the clovers as being a patch of tall blue flowers along the west.

question: Summarize Al's main conflict.

answer: One of the main struggles in the story is Rob, Allerton's brother, running away to Afghanistan to fight for their country. There are a lot of mixed emotions his going away has brought, and him returning from war would have played the plot out differently.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

text: This is not the main conflict. The main conflict is Rob's death and Al's emotions towards the news.

question: What does the text say about Al's feelings towards Rob?

answer: Al feels hatred towards Rob. He feels that Rob is a jerk for leaving him behind. He feels that Rob is a jerk for leaving him with no brother.

critique: The answer should mention that Rob is dead.

question: What does the text say about Al's family comforting him?

answer: No answer

critique: There is mention of Al's parents comforting him after he is informed that his brother has been killed in action.

critique: The answer should mention the two Army officers.

critique: There is cross-referenced information stating that his parents would be standing, with one hand holding the coffee and the other around Al’s mom.

critique: The answer should mention that Al's father would be comforting his mother.

critique: The answer should mention that Al's family is not mentioned.


text:
Basehunters Chasing will be out tonight and tomorrow morning live streaming the nor’easter in Massachusetts. Although the storm does not look to set any records, it will still be significant across portions of eastern and southeastern MA. A band of 8-12in of snow appears likely to set up along a narrow corridor between the Cape Cod Canal and Burlington, MA. If I had to refine this further, I would go with model consensus and would bet on this band setting up southeast of a line from Quincy, MA to PVD. Though run-to-run trends have been slowly shifting this heavier band northwestward. Therefore can’t rule out a very messy morning commute for Boston.

Timing:

The heaviest snowfall rates will occur between 5am and 8am EDT on Mon/21st. There is even the potential for an isolated instance of thundersnow and/or thundersleet during this period, as shown by the Lightning Threat 2 parameter on the NSSL WRF image below. Most likely significant travel impacts will occur on I-95 between PVD and MA-128, as well as much of MA-24 and MA-3.

[NSSL-WRF image]

Lightning potential increases with proximity to the rain/snow line, and appears to be primairly driven by slantwise convection. Can’t rule out some upright convection with elevated instability / MUCAPE AOA 100 J/kg / maximized in a narrow band of mostly sleet. The sounding below more or less depicts this potential. I’m trying to get excited about this storm, so I’d be lying if I said that there wasn’t an element of “wishcasting” going on here… but, hey, appears that there is a non-zero chance for thundersnow:

[]

The “long-range” HRRRX forecast highlights this potential:

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[]

Snowfall Totals:

This forecast has been a headache for many a meteorologist across the northeast. The long-range models and their ensembles (GFS, GEFS, ECMWF, GEM, JMA, CFS, etc.) have shown this nor’easter for about 8 days, but moved from an inland New England track to an offshore track, then creeped northwestward to what we’re seeing now. The most frustrating thing is that the operational models sort of did this in tandem, eliminating any hope for a forecaster to try to isolate one that was more consistent. Indeed, up until 48-60 hours ago, it was only a GEFS outlier or two that showed a significant snowstorm for eastern MA and RI.

So I’ll just throw a bunch of data here to illustrate the fact that the forecast has come together significantly, but as always, many uncertainties remain.[]

GEFS plumes (above) for Boston show that the city will remain all-snow during this nor’easter. A safe forecast is 5-10in of snow for the city, with most of it falling during the early morning hours of Mon/21st. There is an outside chance that the city receives about a foot of snow.

[Capture]

SREF total snowfall plumes (above) for Boston… ignoring the outliers… show a nice cluster between 5″ and 9″ of snow. The mean is about 6″ of snow.

[]

The 20/00z 4km NAM shows the highest-impact scenario with the heaviest band setting up directly along a line from PVD to BOS, with 12″ of snow falling. Snowfall rates of 2″-3″ per hour are not out of the question in this band. All of this snow falls before 8am Monday, with most of it falling between 5am and 8am.

[]

The 20/00z GFS had the heaviest snow falling in SE MA from New Bedford to Plymouth…

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But the 20/06z GFS creeped NW with the band.

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And the 20/06z 4km NAM takes it a little easier with snowfall totals.

[Capture]

The 20/00z ECMWF confines to heavy band to Cape Cod, with the heaviest accumulations… around 8″ occurring near the Cape Cod Canal.

Subsequent model runs today will help pinpoint the exact location of the heavy snowband, especially when the HRRR comes fully into range.

[Capture]

One of my favorite tools during the 2015 snow blitz was the SSEO. Here’s probabilities for >6″ of snow falling by 8am Monday. Looks like the mesoscale models favor the heavy band setting up closer Providence and Boston.

That’s all for now.

-Isaac Pato

question: Summarize everything relating to Isaac's personal feelings.

answer: Isaac is excited about the storm, and is trying to get excited about it. He's also excited about the potential for thundersnow.

critique: The answer should mention that Isaac is trying to get excited about the storm because he's a meteorologist.

critique: The repeated use of "excited" without good cause makes this response unclear.

question: What does the article say about the trajectory of the storm?

answer: The storm will be significant across portions of eastern and southeastern MA. A band of 8-12in of snow is likely to set up along a narrow corridor between the Cape Cod Canal and Burlington, MA. The heaviest snowfall rates will occur between 5am and 8am EDT on Mon/21st. The 20/00z 4km NAM shows the highest-impact scenario with the heaviest band setting up directly along a line from PVD to BOS, with 12" of snow falling.

critique: The answer is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The answer should mention the storm's trajectory.

question: What does the article say about staying safe during the storm?

answer: No answer

critique: The article does not mention anything about staying safe during the storm.

critique: The answer should mention that the article does not mention anything about staying safe during the storm.

critique: The article doesn't answer the question.


text:
Hey Everyone :D  I'm only a casual writer, but I just finished this short story on a whim tonight.  Please give me some feedback and let me know what you think.  Also, I'm really interested in knowing what sort of emotions you felt while reading it.  Thanks everyone!

It sounded like the deep whoosh of fan blades, but they were in his head.  The world seemed as if it were being seen through a plastic sheet, everything was blurry and finding focus was impossible.  Nevertheless, the small, dark haired boy began pushing himself up to his feet.  Confusion swept through him.  In his hand was a small piece of jagged aluminum, the kind used for guttering, or heavy tin cans.  It seemed so foreign.

	As the boy's gaze rose, he saw a man lying next to him.  Most of his head had been removed by the blast of some large firearm.  Small chunks of brain were strewn for several feet around them both.  Gray matter and blood formed an Spaghetti-Oh looking soup in the rivets and missing chunks of the cold concrete floor.  You could see the top of the man's spine by looking in the large hole where his right cheekbone should have been.

	A woman.  A woman ran towards the boy looking frantic – dangerous even.  She had a wild look in her eye, and a shotgun in held loosely in her hand, pointing at the floor.  He knew that if he let her get close, something bad would happen.  She would wrap her blood-covered arms around him and take him away.  Take him away from wherever he was to someplace else, someplace strange and terrible.

	The boy was shaking with fear and staring at the woman when suddenly the quiet hit him.  Everything went silent.  It was as if he had awoken to a world set in a Charlie Chaplan film.  The quiet – the nothingness within the quiet – scared the boy.  It scared him worse than the dead man, worse than the crazy shotgun-toting lady.  It scared him on a primal level and he knew right away that he should run.  He should run and get as far away as possible.

	The woman had gotten closer.  She was opening her mouth, pointing at him, even crying in her raging hysteria.  She looked battered.  The dark, shining areas under both of her eyes told the entire story easily enough.  She seemed oddly familiar.  Her insanity was evident in her face, twisted with more emotion than the young boy could understand.  He turned to flee, but was too slow.  A hand gripped his shoulder, pulling him back towards the crazy lady.

	It wasn't something he thought about.  Not at all.  As the hand touched his shoulder, he jerked violently around and thrust the jagged aluminum spike with all of his might.  There was some resistance, but it quickly gave way.   Although the woman did not have her gun raised, the sudden jerk raised the barrel in line with the young boys knee.  As fire ripped through her abdomen, she accidentally pulled the trigger.

	Something about the shotgun blast shook the boy deep inside.  Sounds flooded back into his world.  It was almost too loud, too sudden.  The ground was coming at him.  His leg would not work to catch him.  The confusion was too much, blackness started to seep in around the edges of his vision.  His head hit the ground hard, but he remained conscious.  In shock, and too scared to move, the boy could only watch.

The woman had fallen to her side, and was gripping at the aluminum shaft sticking out of her stomach.  The look on her face was born of pure surprise.  Her abdominal muscles reacted to the impalement –  instantly locking up and tightening around the intruder.  She felt her lifeblood flowing freely from wound, felt herself getting weaker.  Her poor boy.  He breathed raggedly on the ground next to her, looking up in fearful state of shock that Vietnam veterans would have cringed at.  She felt herself slipping away.  She looked down at the boy.  “Son... why?”

title: Of Dark And Twisted Moments

question: Why was the boy suspicious of the woman in front of him?

answer: He panicked when he realized that she was not going to ignore him. He immediately felt the need to jump away.

critique: "There was a woman." - add a comma between "a" and "woman" for clarity

critique: The boy was not suspicious of the woman, he was suspicious of the situation.

critique: The boy knew the woman, hence the reason for his suspicion.

critique: The boy was suspicious of the woman because he thought she was going to take him away from where he was.

critique: "He immediately felt the need to jump away." - is not related to the question.

critique: He was suspicious of the woman because he thought she was going to take him away from where he was.

critique: It is omitted that he stabbed her when she chased him.

critique: The boy was suspect of the woman because he thought she was going to take him away.

critique: The boy felt that he should run away when the woman got close to him.

critique: The woman didn't ignore the boy, she ran towards him.

critique: The answer could be more specific about the woman's actions.

critique: The boy was suspicious of the woman because he thought she was going to take him away.

critique: "He panicked when he realized that she was not going to ignore him. He immediately felt the need to jump away." This was not discussed. It was implied that he was suspicious of the woman because he thought she might kidnap him.

critique: The boy didn't panic when he realized that the woman wasn't ignoring him. He knew that if she got close it would be bad.