text:
THOMAS ALLSTON BROWN (January 16, 1836 – April 2, 1918) was an American theater critic, newspaper editor, talent agent and manager, and theater historian, best known for his books, _History of the American Stage_ (Dick & Fitzgerald: New York, 1870) and _A History of the New York Stage from the First Performance in 1732 to 1901_ (Dodd Mead: New York, 1902).

Life and career

Brown was born in Newburyport, Massachusetts, to Thomas James Brown (1800–1867) and Lucretia Hamsly Brown _(née_ Lucretia Hamsly Milton; 1810–1872).[1] He began his career as the Philadelphia correspondent and theater critic for the top entertainment journal of the time, the _New York Clipper_. He freelanced for other show-business publications and published his own paper, called _The Tattler_.[2][3]

In 1860, Brown entered show business as the advance man for the Cooper English Opera Company, managed by virtuoso violinist Henry Charles Cooper (1819–1881). He later worked for Gardner & Madigan's Circus (re: the Gardner and Madigan families, including Dan Gardner and John Madigan) as treasurer and manager of the box office.[4] During one circus performance, the assistant to the ropewalker Blondine went missing. Blondine's opening stunt was to walk a tightrope from the stage to the balcony with a person on his back. T. Allston Brown filled in for the missing helper, and the _Baltimore Press_ dubbed him “Colonel” for the deed. Brown adopted the honorary title and used it for the remainder of his career.[5]

In 1863, Brown was named editor of the _New York Clipper_. He kept the post until 1872, when he retired from journalism. He next pursued a career as an agent and manager for entertainers. His clients included the famous female impersonator Ernest Byne (1848–1904), the Hanlon Brothers, and Mlle. Marie Aimée (sv) (1852–1857). On May 7, 1879, Brown became partner with Morris Simmonds (1839–1896) in Simmonds & Brown, Dramatic Agents, and continued to run the company after Simmonds died.[6]

As early as 1858, Brown had begun compiling stories and biographies of theatrical performers in the United States.[7] Much of his material came from players in the field, who supplied biographical sketches.[8] He began to write a book on the subject, and in 1870 he published the exhaustive _History of the American Stage_.[9][10] In 1906, he retired from show business to devote more time to history and writing.[11] Brown died in Philadelphia in 1918. _The New York Times_ wrote in Brown's obituary that _A History of the New York Stage_, published in 1903, “was said to be one of the most complete accounts of the development of the stage in America that has been written”.[12][13]

Notes

[1] Thomas Allston Brown, Massachusetts, Town Records, 1620-1988, Ancestry.com

[2] Cullen 147.

[3] Sentilles 122.

[4]

[5] Cullen 148.

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13] “Col. T. Allston Brown”, _The New York Times_, 1918-04-04, p. 13.

title: T. Allston Brown

question: Describe Hamsley Brown's career trajectory from critic to historian and author.

answer: Brown began his career as a Philadelphia correspondent and theater critic for the New York Clipper. He later freelanced for other show-business publications. He published his own paper, called The Tattler. In 1860, Brown entered show business as the advance man for the Cooper English Opera Company. He then worked for Gardner & Madigan's Circus as treasurer and manager of the box office. In 1863, Brown was named editor of the New York Clipper. He kept the post until 1872, when he retired from journalism. He then pursued a career as an agent and manager for entertainers. In 1906, he retired from show business to devote more time to history and writing.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: "He then worked for Gardner & Madigan's Circus as treasurer and manager of the box office." - this is inaccurate. Brown was never the treasurer or manager of the box office. He was the advance man.

critique: The answer omits that he published his first book, History of the American Stage, in 1870.

critique: The response misses to mention that Brown began compiling stories and biographies of theatrical performers in the United States as early as 1858.

critique: It is omitted that he published a book on the subject, and in 1870 he published the exhaustive History of the American Stage.


split: train

text:
SIR WILLIAM ARROL & CO. was a leading Scottish civil engineering and construction business founded by William Arrol and based in Glasgow. It built some of the most famous bridges in the United Kingdom including the second Tay Bridge, the Forth Bridge and Tower Bridge in London.

Early history

The Company was founded by William Arrol, born in Houston, Renfrewshire in 1839, the fourth child of Thomas Arrol, a cotton spinner. He started work at the age of nine in a cotton mill, having passed himself off as thirteen. In 1850, the family moved to Paisley and William found work at Coats’s Cotton Thread Manufacturing making bobbins. At the age of fourteen he was apprenticed to a blacksmith at Paisley, supplementing his practical education with night school classes and the purchase of books on engineering.[1]

At end of his apprenticeship William Arrol worked as a journeyman blacksmith with mixed success. Work was not easy to find and in 1858, now aged nineteen, he took a job at Ker’s factory at Paisley. Eventually he was engaged as a foreman at Laidlaw’s Engineering Works in Glasgow. Here he was entrusted with his first bridges: the Greenock and Ayrshire Railway at Greenock in 1885 and the West Pier at Brighton 1866. After two years, Arrol had saved enough money to set up with a friend as boiler and girder makers. However, they incurred heavy losses through non-payment by customers and the partnership was dissolved. On his own again with his small works in Glasgow, in 1871 he was given the construction of railway bridges on the Balerno line in Edinburgh.[2]

In 1872, now in his early thirties, Arrol left his old works and moved to Dalmarnock in south Glasgow. His first important contract was for a bridge over the Clyde at Bothwell for the North British Railway. This bridge, which was 120 feet above the water, was notable for Arrol’s introduction of the idea of building the girders on land and rolling them out pier to pier. In 1875 he built the first of the two great bridges for the Caledonian Railway over the Clyde. Faced by a strike by the riveters he invented a hydraulic riveting machine, later to enjoy widespread use in the shipbuilding industry. [3]

The Great Bridges

December 1879 saw the great Tay Bridge disaster where the railway bridge collapsed under the lateral pressure of high winds, barely a year after it had opened. William Arrol was awarded the contract for the new bridge. Construction of the new Tay Bridge was started in 1882 and it opened in 1887. Almost simultaneously, William Arrol was also working on the Forth Bridge. Construction began in 1882 and when it was opened in1890 it had the longest single cantilever bridge span in the world. William Arrol’s commitment to these two bridges was rewarded with a knighthood: Sir William Arrol & Company Ltd was incorporated in June 1893.[4] The completion of the two Scottish bridges gave Sir William Arrol an international reputation and in the succeeding years bridges were built around Great Britain, Europe and as far as Australia. Perhaps the best known was London’s Tower Bridge opened in 1894, where Sir William Arrol erected all the steel work.[5]

Diversification

The development of Dalmarnock Works to cope with Arrol’s increased business involved the construction of new buildings with large spans and roofs of steel and glass which let in light throughout the building. Their size allowed the installation of large overhead cranes with up to 100 tons lifting capacity. This became an activity in its own right as similar buildings were constructed for other companies.[6] Also arising out of Dalmarnock Works and bridgebuilding were cranes. particularly for shipbuilding; they had a loading capacity ranging from five to 150 tons. The most famous crane. the largest of its time, is the Titan Crane completed in 1907; a gigantic cantilever crane of 150-ton capacity. for John Brown & Company.[7] With this increased range of activity, the Dalmarnock Works occupied 17 acres and employed 2000 men plus thousands more working on outside contracts. Sir William died in 1913 but the Company continued as an independent entity until 1969.[8]

Notable projects

[View of the cantilever construction of the Forth Bridge] [The Forth Bridge built by Sir William Arrol & Co.|alt=Colour photograph of the Forth Bridge. ]

Bridges

Bridges built by the company include:

-   Caledonian Railway Bridge across the River Clyde completed in 1878
-   Tay Rail Bridge completed in 1887
-   Forth Bridge completed in 1890
-   Tower Bridge in London completed in 1894
-   North Bridge in Edinburgh completed in 1897
-   Redheugh Bridge in Newcastle upon Tyne completed in 1901
-   Connel Bridge completed in 1903
-   Nile Bridge at Cairo completed in 1908
-   Tees Transporter Bridge completed in 1911
-   Warrington Transporter Bridge completed in 1916
-   Keadby Bridge completed in 1916
-   Southwark Bridge in London completed in 1921
-   White Cart Bridge completed in 1923
-   Jubilee Bridge (Walney) completed in 1908
-   Jubilee Bridge (Queensferry) completed in 1927
-   Corporation Bridge in Grimsby completed in 1928
-   Wearmouth Bridge completed in 1929

[A closeup of the central section of the second Tay Bridge|alt=Colour photograph of the central section of the second Tay Bridge]

-   Tsoelike Suspension Bridge in Lesotho completed in 1930
-   Forth Road Bridge completed in 1964
-   Deptford Railroad Bridge completed in 1964
-   Severn Bridge completed in 1966
-   The second Craigellachie Bridge completed in 1970
-   The Humber Bridge completed in 1981

Cranes

-   Titan Clydebank, completed in 1907
-   Titan Crane, Fairfield, completed in 1911
-   250-ton crane, HMNB Portsmouth, dated 1912, demolished 1984[9]
-   Titan Crane, James Watt Dock Crane, completed in 1917
-   Titan Crane, Barclay Curle, completed in 1920
-   Blocksetter Travelling Titan (South African Harbours and Railways); for use at Durban, completed prior to 1932[10]
-   Blocksetter Travelling Hercules (South African Harbours and Railways); for use at Table Bay, completed prior to 1932[11]
-   Blocksetter Travelling Hercules; for use at Ceuta, completed prior to 1932[12]

Titanic

[Workers leaving the Harland & Wolff shipyard in early 1911. The RMS _Titanic_ can be seen in the background, underneath the Arrol Gantry.] The company was contracted by Harland and Wolff Shipyard, Belfast, to construct a large gantry (known as the Arrol Gantry) for the construction of three new super-liners, one of which was called the RMS _Titanic_. Like the ships themselves, the gantry crane was one of the largest built at the time, comparing with transporter bridges in length, height and capability.[13]

Hikitia

[Hikitia at the Taranaki St wharf in Wellington] The company also built the crane for the Hikitia in 1926, which is thought to be the last fully operational self-propelled steam crane in the world.

Demise of the business

The company was acquired by Clarke Chapman in 1969 and the Dalmarnock Works were closed in 1986.[14]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9] 20th Century Naval Dockyards, Devonport and Portsmouth Characterisation Report, Naval Dockyards Society, 2015

[10] Arrol Catalogue ca. 1932

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14] NZR Cranes

title: Sir William Arrol & Co.

question: Summarize William Arrol's life before his thirties.

answer: William Arrol was born in 1839. He started work at the age of nine in a cotton mill. He worked in a cotton thread manufacturing making bobbins. He was apprenticed to a blacksmith at the age of fourteen. He worked as a journeyman blacksmith. He worked as a foreman at Laidlaw's Engineering Works.

critique: The answer omits the fact that Arrol worked as a boiler and girder maker.

critique: Went over the 2-line summary requirement

critique: The answer should mention his education.

critique: It's omitted that Arrol's first important contract was for a bridge over the Clyde at Bothwell for the North British Railway.

critique: The answer omits the fact that Arrol was given the construction of railway bridges on the Balerno line in Edinburgh.

critique: The answer omits the time period between his apprenticeship and his work at Laidlaw's Engineering Works.

question: What does the text say about why Dalmarnock Works had to close?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the company was acquired by Clarke Chapman in 1969 and the Dalmarnock Works were closed in 1986.

critique: The answer should mention the company's demise.

critique: The answer could mention the company's demise.

critique: The answer should mention the demise of the company.


text:
Proctor was lying down somewhere. He didn't know how he got there. The last memory he could think of was that he was driving down his road. He couldn't remember much else. His memories were hazy; He couldn't think straight. Just as these thoughts were going through his head, someone began to shake his arm.
“Hello? Are you okay? Are you awake?” He heard the voice say.
Proctor sat up, and opened his eyes. He realized now that he was in a large grassy field. The sun was just overhead, a large tree stood just in front of him, and the stranger was standing in front of the tree.
“My name is Royce, can you remember your name?”
“Yes, It’s…”
Proctor stopped himself. Although Royce seemed friendly enough, but there was something odd about the question he had asked. “How did you know I was having trouble with my memory?” He said.
Royce began to look confused,  “I don’t know. I guess you did wake up unconscious in the middle of a field.”
	“That makes sense.” he thought out loud, “my name’s Proctor since you asked.”
“Proctor, of course” Royce didn't sound very surprised.
	“Okay,” he said confused and slightly agitated, “Well since you know so much, can you tell me where we are?”
	Royce looked around the field, up at the tree and then back at Proctor. “Well, by appearance I’d say we’re in a field in front of a castle. But I can’t really say anything beyond that. I woke up just a few seconds before you did. I can’t remember much either.”
	“Where is this castle? I don’t see it?”
	“Well it’s… Just over that hill.”
	Proctor turned around and saw that there was indeed a very large hill. It surprised him that he didn't see it before, but maybe his mind was playing tricks on him. It took him a few minutes to climb up the hill and he was slightly out of breath when he reached the top. But as Royce had said, there was a castle about a mile away. It was made of stone, like most castles would be, it had a large wooden door, plenty of towers, and it looked like it was about four stories high. He ran to the bottom of the hill, going a bit faster since gravity was no longer working against him.
	Royce was standing in the same spot he had left him in. He was still staring at the hill. “I saw the castle right where you said it was. Do you think we should head over there? They might be able to help us with our memory.”
	“Yeah that would be a good idea,” Royce said as he continued to stare at the hill “It would also provide shelter for when it starts to rain.”
	Proctor looked up. The sky was completely covered with clouds and he could hear thunder in the distance.
	Royce seemed less suspicious now that he got to know him. They actually had quite a bit in common. They were about the same age, had similar interests and they both remember driving a car before they ended up in the field. There was however one deviation. Royce seemed to have ESP. Proctor could remember a few instances where Royce had repeated things that he had never said out loud, and then there was that hill. Could he really have climbed all the way to the top to see the castle and then ran back down before waking him up? He had said earlier that he woke up a few seconds before he did and he didn't sound like he was out of breath.
	The rain came just a few minutes before they reached the castle. Up close, Proctor could see that the castle was very rundown. The door had rotted away and he couldn't make out what was inside. He debated with himself whether or not it was a good idea to go in. But after hearing a loud crash of thunder nearby, he decided that electrocution would be a more painful death than stabbing.
	Upon entering the castle it was plain to be seen that it had been abandoned for quite some time. The skeletons of rats lay on the ground as if they had run out of food to scavenge for. The only sound they could hear were the sounds of rain and thunder outside, and the flowing of the many streams that ran through the lower parts of the castle.
The outer rooms of the castle showed signs of abandonment, but rooms further in… were different. A great battle had once taken place in there. Skeletons were all over the ground. They held spears, swords, and shields. Walls were broken down, there were claw marks on the floor and ceiling, and the furniture that wasn't broken in these rooms, was burned.  The destruction was everywhere, but it wasn't so bad that it ruined the structural integrity of the castle. Most of the major support beams were still in place and they were handling the extra weight pretty well.
“I think a dragon is bit more dangerous than getting struck by lightning!” Royce said panicking.
“A lot more,” said Proctor, “do you think we could get out before it notices us?”
As if to answer his question a giant mechanical dragon crashed through the ceiling right above their only exit. Steam came out of the many pipes on its back and its eyes glowed red from the flames that were now shooting from its mouth. Proctor remained frozen in place, both from shock at the dragon’s sudden appearance and shock from its appearance. Royce spoke up knocking him out of his stupor, “its name is Koshmar,” he said. “it is programmed to kill all who trespass.”
The dragon shook the rubble from its body and lunged forward. Proctor dove to the left, just barely avoiding the swipe of one of its claws. The beast ran straight for the wall and Crawled up it. It twisted around and shot a couple of fireballs. Proctor grabbed a shield from one of the skeletons, but saw that he didn't need it. Koshmar was directing all of its attacks at Royce. Proctor dropped his shield and replaced it with a spear. He ran toward the dragon in an attempt to stab one of its eyes. He didn't make it very far though and was sent flying by a lazy swipe of its tail. He landed near the window and could see Koshmar was shooting fireballs once again. Thunder crashed outside, and lightning struck in the distance…
Wait a second? There was something very illogical about what was going on here. Just an hour earlier he had noticed that the sun was directly overhead and not a cloud was in the sky, but now he was in the middle of a huge thunder storm! And when he woke up there wasn't a hill in sight, but he had crossed over one to see the castle! Now that he was thinking of the castle, didn't it have a wooden door when he first saw it? And what about the thunder! Doesn't thunder usually come after lightning? Where was he? Was he in some alternate dimension that was ruled by mechanical Russian dragons? Then the answer hit him. The dragon, its name was Koshmar. Koshmar is the Russian word for nightmare. He was dreaming! All he had to do was wake himself up, and this nightmare would end.
Proctor thought he was in a dream, and in a way, he was right. Moments later Royce woke up in a hospital bed, and Proctor… ceased to exist.

title: The caretaker

question: What does the story say about dreams?

answer: There is a large castle that Proctor ends up in during his dream. He had no friends there and no idea how he got there. He was only able to leave the castle when the mechanical dragon, named Koshmar, crashed through the ceiling. The companion he met there appeared in his dream before Proctor could leave the castle. However, the companion woke up in the hospital bed, and Proctor ceased to exist.

critique: There are many details provided in the story beyond the simple mechanics of Proctor dreaming about a castle with a dragon.

critique: The answer is confusing. It should be simplified.

critique: The text does not say anything about Proctor having no friends in the dream.

critique: The answer is confusing and doesn't make sense.

question: What does the story say about Proctor's relationship with Royce?

answer: Initially, Proctor thought Royce was an enemy and hostile. Royce started to speak: "Hello?" Proctor wondered if the other person knew who he was. Royce answered the question, and told Proctor that his name is Proctor and he was trying to recall his memories. Proctor is surprised that Royce was able to ascertain a few things about him, and Royce tells him he also does not know that Proctor does not recall many things about himself. Royce tells Proctor about the field, castle, and castle. Proctor thought Royce made up everything about the castle, the hill, and the dragon, but it did not take long after entering the castle to realize Royce was not making up anything. Royce shares how their name is Koshmar, and Royce is shocked Royce has not died yet.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story and not a description of the relationship between Proctor and Royce.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, not a description of Proctor and Royce's relationship.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, not a description of Proctor's relationship with Royce.

critique: It is omitted that Proctor realizes that he is dreaming and that he must wake himself up to end the nightmare.

critique: The answer gets bogged down in Royce's exposition.

critique: The answer is too long and contains irrelevant information.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: "Royce shares how their name is Koshmar, and Royce is shocked Royce has not died yet." - this is inaccurate. Koshmar's name was never mentioned in the story.

question: What does the story say about Koshmar?

answer: Koshmar is a mechanical dragon that was programmed to kill all who trespass. It was created by the Russians. The dragon was sent to kill Proctor and Royce.

critique: The answer should mention that Koshmar is a nightmare.

critique: It's omitted that Koshmar attacks Royce.

critique: "created by the Russians" - is incorrect. Koshmar was created by the Russians, but the Russians didn't program it to kill trespassers.

critique: The answer should mention that Koshmar was created in a dream.

critique: "Koshmar is a mechanical dragon that was programmed to kill all who trespass. It was created by the Russians. The dragon was sent to kill Proctor and Royce." - Koshmar was sent to kill Royce by the Russians. Proctor did not need to be informed that the dragon was sent.

critique: The story does not say that the Russians created Koshmar.

question: What does the story say about Royce's ESP abilities?

answer: Royce seems to have ESP. He can repeat things that Proctor has never said out loud. He also says he woke up a few seconds before Proctor did. He also says he climbed the hill to see the castle and ran back down before waking Proctor up.

critique: The highlighted information is unrelated.

critique: The answer should mention that Proctor thinks Royce has ESP.

critique: The answer omits that Royce can see the future.

critique: Royce's ESP is not mentioned in the story.

critique: The answer should mention that Royce is able to see things before Proctor does.

critique: The answer should mention that Royce is able to see the castle from the hill.


text:
It was just before dawn when I woke to the alien invasion.

It began with the thumpings on the roof. One followed by two, then three, then four, then just a dull roar of heavy objects hitting the roof.

I ran to the window and looked out to find the sky filled with small kittens in parachutes plummeting to the Earth like cotton candy.

"My time is now." I said to myself.

I had known this was coming. It was in the lore of the world handed down throughout history and only the right person, with the right mind could read between the lines.

Like the line in the bible about Jesus and that one dude and that other dude - it all spelled kitten invasion.

If you think I'm joking, open a dictionary sometime and under the letter K, you will find kittens.

Luckily, I was ready. I had been storing milk for years in my fridge. It all went bad, but that's not how I was ready. How I was ready was I had also stored guns and ammo. Lots of it.

I ran to the closet where I kept my guns and ammo and opened the door to find more expired milk.

I realized two things in that moment - why my house smelled and why there were so many guns and ammo in my fridge.

Back to the fridge, I grabbed a gun and some ammo and loaded up what looked like a shotgun and ran to the door.

The kittens were still floating to the ground, but many had landed and were helplessly clawing at their parachutes or tangling themselves up in them in some sort of attempt at comfort.

It dawned on me that the kittens may not have any ill will towards humans and were simply just kittens that parachuted in great numbers on to the Earth on one given day in the entire history of kittendom.

But that was too easy.

I opened the door and opened fire.

For five minutes I pulled the trigger again and again and not one kitten was harmed. I had either extremely bad aim, as their were thousands of them, or I was holding a chili dog in my hand.

It turned out to be the latter. Once again, I had failed to study guns and ammo and what they were and realized a hot dog was not a gun and chili was no sort of ammo.

I resigned myself to the notion that I would be of no use in the rebellion against the kittens and sat down and had a big bowl of ammo.

The TV was reporting that there was no cause for alarm as the kittens posed no danger, but still there was no explanation as to why they had parachuted in great numbers to the Earth.

I looked back out the window. Most of the kittens had removed their parachutes and lo and behold - they were now pulling revolvers out of their fur and moving towards the homes in my neighborhood.

I quickly Googled revolver and realized that this time - yes! This time! I knew what I was talking about. They were revolvers.

But before I could congratulate myself there was the sound of gunshots at my door.

The kind of gunshots that don't come from chilidogs. No, these were real gunshots.

I crouched behind my couch and noticed that the TV had gone to static. The first ploy of the kittens had worked - they had been trusted to not have revolvers hidden in their fur.

"You won this round." I muttered to myself.

Then the door broke down and a kitten standing on two feet entered the house. "Put down your weapons and surrender!" The kitten ordered.

I threw the chilidog at him and yelled "I surrender!"

There was silence.

I rose from behind the couch and there on the ground was a dead kitten. The childog had bore straight through it's abdomen and killed it.

title: [HM] KITTEN INVASION

question: What does the story say about the narrator's state of mind?

answer: The narrator is clearly very paranoid, and also very knowledgeable about guns and ammo. He has stored both in his fridge. He is also very self-aware of his own incompetence. He knows that he has failed to study guns and ammo, and that he has a bad aim.

critique: 'He knows that he has failed to study guns and ammo, and that he has a bad aim.' is not stated.

critique: There is no evidence in the passage that states the narrator is paranoid apart from the paragraph that says that he is "the right person, with the right mind could read between the lines."

critique: It's omitted that the narrator is also very paranoid about the kitten invasion.

text: "The narrator is clearly very paranoid, and also very knowledgeable about guns and ammo. He has stored both in his fridge." - this is incorrect. He doesn't even know what a gun looks like, let alone ammo. It's likely that the narrator is insane because he thought chili dogs were weapons and he stored plenty of milk for years, all of which had gone bad.

category: accuracy

question: What does the story say about dogs?

answer: The narrator has a dog named Chili. The narrator mistakes a hot dog for a gun and chili for ammo. The narrator's dog is killed by a kitten.

critique: The response is redundant, inaccurate and inacurately describes the events in the story.

critique: The narrator doesn't have a dog named Chili.

critique: The second sentence is confusing and irrelevant.

critique: The narrator's dog is not named in the story.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's mistake.

critique: The answer is irrelevant to the question.


text:
“Where am I? Who are these people around me?” I thought to myself when I first woke up. I slowly lifted myself up and rubbed my eyes thoroughly as if there was something in them, but nothing was. I looked over; a lady kindly greeted me and handed me a folder. As soon as the folder was within my possession I knew what must be done; it was pure instinct. I immediately opened it up and read all of the information.
I remembered that my name was Bob Lamron. I am 23 years old, have neither children nor a wife; they were only given to you if you had proven yourself faithful and intelligent enough. I asked the women who handed me the folder where I was and what events had occurred that left me in this situation. She just looked at me and smiled.
Two rather large males, who appeared to be body guards disguised as physicians, led me out the front door. As soon as I walked out, a car appeared out of nowhere. From the car came a robotic voice; it addressed me by name and commanded me to enter the automobile. As I got in the car, the voice spoke again. It asked me what my home address was. I had no clue; I could not even remember if I had children 10 minutes ago. How was I supposed to answer the voice with details of my forget life? The women who had presented me with the folder, a nurse, that I had woken up next to, ran out of the building and handed me the same folder that I had left behind in the room. I opened it up and aloud, “2534 Egareva Rd.” As soon as the words had left my mouth, the taxi immediately sped off, presumably to the address.
As I saw the things I passed by I started to remember details, like I had never forgotten them at all. Trees, Birds, people, restaurants, fountains, everything! It was all flooding in as if there was a dam in my brain and it had just been ruptured without notice. We arrived at my house and I opened the front door. I walked into my room and sat down. I could not recall the events that had occurred before I woke up. It was like the dam of knowledge in my mind had been concealed. My mind had locked away any memories of the events and I could not do anything about it. The more I thought, the more my head hurt.
It felt like one of those moments when you are mid conversation with someone and another person, uninvolved in the conversation, calls your name. You stop talking in order to address the interjection of your name, but when you try to come back into the original conversation, you can’t remember what you were talking about no matter how hard you try. I sat there on my couch and tried as hard as I could to recall what had happened.
I then positioned myself so that I could see out of the window. I saw a grey, bleak world. Everything was so average, so normal. The only color people were given permission to wear were different shades of grey. The lighter your color, the higher up your social class was. I was just an average grey.
As I was thinking through all of this, my eyes were fixed upon a section of peeling paint in the right corner of my peripheral vision. For some reason I knew I was supposed to go over to it; it was like I had some kind of cosmic urge. My hand lifted from my side and I started to peel the paint. It came off fairly easily, far too easier than any paint should have, for that matter. Suddenly, I saw something concealed under the peeling paint. I knew I had to uncover it. As I tore the paint off a fit overcame me. Next thing I knew, I was tearing, ripping, and enjoying this more than anything I had enjoyed before. I was ripping everything in sight off the wall.
I stepped back and looked at my wall and there was writing everywhere. The memories started flooding back into my head of what had happened. I had uncovered something big. The government had been spiking everyone. Now they wouldn’t just bug a room, or a camera in a park to see what was going on, they were putting microphones in you. They had put chips in your brain so that they could see, think, hear, and smell everything you have ever come in contact with. Knowing I had just remembered this I knew they would be after me. I shut the blinds and closed the door in my room.
I lightly lifted a blind cover and looked out the window. I saw a slim, black, shiny car pulled up to the front of my building. The same two men who had accompanied me out of the hospital got out of the black car. I sat there shaking, wondering what I could do. The second I saw them barge in through the front door, I jumped out of my second story bedroom and landed on the pavement. My ankle buckled and I felt a sharp pain but I knew I had to get out of here and tell someone what is going on. I screamed names but no one would listen to me. I was living in a selfish world where people only cared about themselves. I gave up. I fell to the floor, my ankle throbbing, and looked at the door to my building, expecting the two men to walk through. I was doomed.
The two men eventually came out of my building and grabbed me. They didn’t say a word; all they would do is stare straight forward. Then they put me in the back of the car and drove off. It was the exact same route that led back to my house. I had only been out for an hour, at most and here I was, being dragged back.
When I got there the female nurse was sitting there with a needle filled with what appeared to be a sedative. As she inserted it in my vein, two doctors walked into the room. The first said, “Okay, begin sedation and we’ll get ready for the micro-chip reset.”
The other doctor responded, “Looks like this one didn’t turn out to well again like the last time.”
	As they finished their sentences I realized something. They have been resetting everyone until they get every single one of us to be perfect for their society. They don’t want people to have character or personality; they are just looking to create the most generic human being, like emotionless robots. As I thought this, I started to black out.
“Where am I? Who are these people around me?” I thought to myself when I first woke up. I slowly lifted myself up and rubbed my eyes thoroughly as if there was something in them, but nothing was. I looked over; a lady kindly greeted me and handed me a folder.

Criticism is why I'm here. Wrote for a creative writing class and would love some help.

title: Deja Vu

question: Summarize how the main character feels when he figures out what is happening to him.

answer: The main character is confused about what is happening to him. He is running around getting his memories back. The more he thinks about it, the more his head hurt. As he is siting on the couch, the main character sees a grey, bleak world and everything was average and normal. The only color people were allowed to wear was different shades of grey. The lighter your color, the higher your social class was.

critique: The main character's name is Bob Lamron.

critique: The narrator is not running around, he is sitting on the couch.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's reaction to the realization.

critique: The answer does not mention the main character's reaction to the peeling paint.

critique: The main character knows why they were taken. It's the government.

question: Summarize the sequence of events from when the main character woke up.

answer: The main character, named Bob Lamron, woke up after an unknown period. He tries to remember who he was but due to unknown circumstances is unable to do so. He is handed a folder with his basic details. Randomly picking up a piece of paper, he sees an address and realizes it's his address. He goes home to find the peeling paint in his room which he must peel off. He tears the walls up and he's very excited. As he is tearing everything apart he sees something written on the wall. He's back to square one in his memory. He is grabbed, transported back and realizes his captors are trying to make him so boring, so generic he's no different from anyone else. He is sedated and taken to the hospital for the microchip resetting.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator is taken back to the hospital.

critique: The last sentence is unnecessary and should be removed.

critique: The answer would be more accurate if it omitted the second paragraph as it lists details that do not need to be mentioned to answer the question.

critique: The final two sentences are unnecessary.

critique: The last two sentences are unnecessary and should be removed.

critique: The answer is a summary of the entire story, not just the sequence of events.

text: This correctly sets out the sequence of events but there are instances when the language and flow could be improved. Also "He's back to square one in his memory." doesn't really make much sense.

category: coherence

question: Will the main character be able to remember the events of his sedation more quickly each time he is reset?

answer: No answer


text:
555 17TH STREET, formerly known as the ANACONDA TOWER and the QWEST TOWER, is a skyscraper in Denver, Colorado. The building was completed in 1978, and rises 40 floors and in height.[1] The building stands as the seventh-tallest building in Denver and Colorado. It also stood as the tallest building in the city at the time of its 1978 completion, and held that distinction for three years until it was surpassed by the 707 17th Street in 1981.[2]

555 17th Street was originally known as the Anaconda Tower, after the Anaconda Company who relocated their headquarters from New York City to Denver in 1978. The building became the world headquarters of Qwest in 1997, at which point it was adorned with two large Qwest signs.[3] The building served as Qwest's headquarters until 2000, when the corporation moved to 1801 California Street, the second-tallest building in Denver situated two blocks away.[4] Although Qwest moved its headquarters in 2000, the two brightly lit blue signs on 555 17th Street remained in place for four more years.[5] Qwest finally removed the logos in 2004, but prior to that the signs were left dark for several months.[6]

555 17th Street is composed entirely of Class A office space, containing features such as a tenants' restaurant, private club, and conference center.[7] The building is home to the offices of accounting firms Deloitte & Touche and McGladrey, LLP.[8] Holland & Hart, a major law firm, has its headquarters in 555 17th Street.[9]

555 17th Street has been installed with several environmentally “green” features, including a 600-ton flat plate heat exchanger and electronic ballast lighting technology.[10] The building's management company, Mile High Properties, estimates that the upgraded features have generated savings of US$$1,835,000 in five years.[11] Due to its green features, 555 17th Street has been designated a “Labeled Building” by Energy Star and the United States Environmental Protection Agency.[12]

Cushman And Wakefield is the current property manager. 555 17th Street has the same owners as the Grand Hyatt.

Tenants

Ogilvy PR Worldwide - Third floor[13]

Huron Consulting Group - 16th Floor

JWT - Third floor

Clarity Media Group - Seventh floor

Examiner.com - Fourth floor

Parsons Brinckerhoff - Fourth, Fifth and Sixth floors[14]

Grand Hyatt Denver - 2nd and 38th Floor

Long View Systems - 16th Floor[15]

McGladrey, LLP - Tenth floor[16]

CDM Smith, Inc. - Tenth, Eleventh and Twelfth floors[17]

Planisware - 17th floor

Crescent Point Energy Corp. - 18th and 19th floors

Willis Towers Watson - 20th and 21st floors

Anschutz Corporation - Twenty-fourth 23, and 22nd floor[18]

Monticello Associates - Twenty-sixth floor[19]

Holland & Hart LLP - Law Firm - 32nd-25th floor[20]

Deloitte & Touche LLP - thirty-third, thirty-fifth, thirty-sixth floors

Gordon and Rees - 34th floor

Cushman & Wakefield - 7th floor

Starbucks - In lobby

FedEx- In Lobby

Snarf's Sandwiches - In Lobby

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[15] http://www.longviewsystems.com

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[19] http://mymovingpages.com/Monticello+Associates.327668.81205795.home.html

[20]

title: 555 17th Street

question: Summarize the first decade of the building's history.

answer: It was completed in 1978 and became the world headquarters of Qwest in 1997. It was the tallest building in the city at the time of its completion and held that title for three years until it was surpassed by the 707 17th Street in 1981.

critique: The building was originally known as the Anaconda Tower, not the Qwest Tower.

critique: The building was not the world headquarters of Qwest in 1997. It was only adorned with two large Qwest signs.

critique: The building was not the world headquarters of Qwest in 1997. It was the world headquarters of Qwest in 2000.

critique: The first sentence should mention its old name.

text: The question only requests information regarding the building's first decade. Information regarding it past 1988 is irrelevant.

category: coverage

question: Summarize the different identities the building has had over the years.

answer: The building was originally known as the Anaconda Tower, named after the Anaconda Company who relocated their headquarters from New York City to Denver in 1978. In 1997, it became the world headquarters of Qwest. The building was then known as the Qwest Tower. It has been known as the 555 17th Street since 2000.

critique: It completely misses the essence and the importance of 555 17th Street's names.

critique: The building was known as the Qwest Tower for only three years.

question: What does the article say about the people who built 555 17th Street?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the building was completed in 1978.


text:
One afternoon, a boy went out to take a stroll through the woods that surrounded his house. The day was a beautiful one, and birds chirped their way from one tree to another. Eventually it grew hotter, and the boy started to feel really tired. So he sat down in the shade of a large oak and closed his eyes, and he eventually fell asleep.

He woke up a quite a few hours later. The sun had set, and it was dark. Very dark. He got up and started hurrying home, wondering if his parents had started worrying about him being out so late. He finally reached the edge of the woods, and there was his house. But something was strange. He couldn't quite put his finger on it until he realised that it was very dark, yet the house lights weren't on. He didn't think too much of it though, and just kept on running. He got to the front door and realised that it was already ajar. This was where he started to get worried.

He slowly opened the door and looked inside. Not being able to see anything, he fumbled for the light switch. Finally he found it. He switched the lights on, and he gasped at what he saw. The lounge & kitchen was trashed. Chairs were broken, tables lying on their side. Practically everything was on the floor, broken into pieces.
"Mum? Dad?" he called out, hoping that this was just some bad joke.
No answer. Silence remained.
Deciding to check out the rest of the house, he tiptoed through the destroyed lounge, trying not to disturb anything. He reached his parents bedroom door. His hand reached out to twist the doorknob, but he froze. The doorknob had blood on it. Alot of it.

He turned the bloody doorknob and opened the door to his parents bedroom. He stood in the doorway. Frozen. Frozen in fear and shock by what he was seeing. Laying on the floor were his parents. At least if you could still recognise them, that is. Their bodies had been hewn apart, bit by bit, joint by joint, so that what remained was pieces. Half a finger here, another kneecap there. However the abhorence of this scene was that all the pieces had been place back in order. Some sick twisted thing had hewn their bodies into tiny pieces, and then tried to put them back into order. Like some disgusting version of puzzle.

The sight of it all was too much for him. He bent over in disgust, and emptied his stomach of his half digested lunch. Suddenly there was a noise from behind him. Someone must have heard him vomit. He turned around, ready to bolt, but he was too late. A fast moving wooden plank emerged out of the darkness behind and hit him square on the back of his head. He was knocked out cold. Completely unconcious.

He woke up with a gasp. He looked around, trying to see where he was. Suddenly, he realised. He was sitting in the shade of the great oak. The sun had set, and it was dark. Very dark. Just a dream he reassured himself.

It was just a dream.

He got up and started hurrying home, wondering if his parents had started worrying about him being out so late. *How could I have slept for so long*, he thought. Finally, he reached the edge of the woods, and there was his house. Something was wrong though. The lights were off.

*No, it couldn't be*, he thought. He was sure that it all had just been a very bad dream. A very bad nightmare. Realising that the last thing he remembered in his 'dream' was been hit in the back of the head, he reached for his head. Time slowed as he raised his hand to feel for the bruise that prove whether it was just a dream or not.

*It was just dream*, he thought. *Or wasn't it?*

title: Don't fall asleep in the Woods

question: Summarize what the boy dreams about.

answer: Dreaming that he fell asleep while out in the woods, the boy wakes up suddenly to go home. His home when he wakes up is trashed and bloody, with his parents' bodies just a pile of dismembered body parts. Horrified, the boy screams and evacuates his stomach contents, and just as he realizes his dream is real a wooden plank hits him in the back of the head. Dreaming again, he wakes up from the tree and hurries home where he finds the light off. Just as he's about to knock the door, he feels the bruise on his head destined for the plank, confirming his first dream to be real.

critique: The answer needs to be restructured to be easier to read.

critique: The boy doesn't scream, he is just disgusted.

critique: The boy doesn't scream and evacuate his stomach contents.

critique: "The home when he wakes up is trashed and bloody, with his parents' bodies just a pile of dismembered body parts." - this is incorrect as the boy was in the woods, not home.

critique: The boy wakes up from the dream in the dream.

critique: The answer is a summary of the boy's dream, not the story.

critique: The boy's home is not trashed when he wakes up from the dream.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The boy doesn't wake up from the tree. He wakes up in the woods.

critique: The answer is highly incoherent and doesn't make any sense.

critique: This response includes information not related to the question.

critique: The text doesn't tell you that the boy woke up from the dream

critique: This response is too long and really just needs a summary of the dream.


text:
A recent survey of the University of Arizona’s academic freedom policy illustrates a concern amongst survey takers regarding free speech practices.

Lynn Nadel, chair of the faculty and regents’ professor of psychology and cognitive science, said that academic freedom is not only crucial to a university but that it also protects the key function of universities.

Academic freedom involves the right to speak freely about things both in your subject matter and about institutional matters without fear of retaliation from both external and internal forces, Nadel said.

Gary Rhoades is an educational policy studies and practice professor, head of the Department of Education Policy Studies and Practice and director of the Center for the Study of Higher Education. He was also the general secretary of the American Association of University Professors, which he said has helped define academic freedom over the past 100 years.

MORE FROM THE DAILY WILDCAT

“It provides a freedom that’s really important in a democracy for academics to be able to engage in open exchange in four different areas of activity in academics,” Rhoades said.

The foundation of academic freedom is the freedom to teach, research, comment on public matters and speak about internal institutional matters.

“There should be no retaliation or someone trying to influence or shape what is being said or taught,” Rhoades said. “As long as one clearly remains that their view is independent of the university’s, they can speak about public matters without fear or retribution.”

Nadel said that even with a good written policy in place, we need to revisit the policy to address rising issues.

“There were a lot more people that felt the written protections were good, rather than safe,” Nadel said.

According to the survey of 778 respondents, “More than 50 percent believe that academic freedom at the UA is insufficiently protected.”

Nadel and Rhoades both agreed that the main issues regarding the current UA policy is the lack of clarity regarding who is protected and what to do in the case of an academic freedom complaint.

Among those who took the survey, 49 percent identified as faculty on tenure or tenure track. The survey showed that those who are not on tenure track feel especially vulnerable and distrustful of the current policy.

Rhoades said these people feel at risk and that there are questions of formal protection built into the UA’s policies. He said he believes it’s a fair assessment that the policy is unclear, indicating that it’s problematic they don’t believe their freedom will be protected.

“When I say I’m not afraid to speak up, that’s easy for me to say,” Nadel said. “I’m a [tenured] full professor. What are they going to do to me? But my assistant professor colleague may not be willing to be as outspoken. My [untenured] graduate student may be afraid to say anything at all.”

Zach Brooks, president of the Graduate and Professional Student Council, said that graduate students occupy a strange “middle ground.”

“We have an interesting role, because sometimes we as graduate students are teachers, researchers, clinicians and administrators, but we’re also students,” Brooks said.

He added that, at times, graduate students may feel less able to speak up, and other times, they might have more ability to speak because they’re not full-time employees of the university and have less fear over what they say.

“What we think we’re going to do is make the existing protections a lot better known and make it absolutely clear what things are in place to protect each category of employee,” Nadel said.

Rhoades added that one way to do this is to “meet with smaller targeted groups of employees about these issues” and develop ideas for protective policies that are more inclusive.

Nadel said if you don’t speak up, then you can never determine if you’re protected.

“In order for an individual or, more importantly, for an institution to create a culture where academic freedom is believed in and valued, where people feel confident that it’s going to be enforced, we have to be talking about it and exercising it,” Rhoades said.

There are major issues regarding what the process is when academic freedom is violated.

Both Rhoades and Nadel said the current chart indicating what to do is confusing and complicated. Rhoades said that everyone involved must “work toward better clarification” on what must be done in situations where violations of any one’s academic freedom may have occurred.

“We want to make the processes under the policy much better understood,” Nadel said. “We need to be much more specific and get the information out there, so that people will be more aware of everything that’s in place to protect them.”

Rhoades added that another thing that could be done is for formal leaders of the university to make important affirmations to the university community that academic freedom is valued.

“Universities are among the most important places where we’re creating and disseminating knowledge,” he said. “We have people who are studying a whole variety of issues and topics, and if we allow that institution to be unfairly restricted or confined with what it can talk about and what it can explore, then we’re hampering our ability as a democracy to discuss difficult issues and … engage in all sorts of exploration that makes us interesting important, curious and innovative people.”

_______________

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question: What does the text say about the University of Arizona football team?

answer: No answer

critique: The article does not mention anything about the University of Arizona football team.

critique: The text does not mention the University of Arizona football team.

question: What does the text say about academic freedom in universities?

answer: Academic freedom is the right to speak freely about things both in your subject matter and about institutional matters without fear of retaliation from both external and internal forces. Academic freedom is crucial to a university and protects the key function of universities. Academic freedom involves the right to teach, research, comment on public matters, and speak about internal institutional matters. Academic freedom is protected by the freedom to teach, research, comment on public matters, and speak about internal institutional matters.

critique: Missing some details about the importance of academic freedom is a university.

critique: The second sentence is redundant and should be removed.

question: What does the text say about the survey regarding the University of Arizona's free speech practices?

answer: The University of Arizona's survey on academic freedom policy has been criticized for not being a free speech practice. The survey shows that there is an increase of voices that don't feel that the written protections are sufficient. The survey also shows that the lack of clarity about who is protected and what to do in the case of an academic freedom complaint.

critique: The survey shows that there is an increase of voices that don't feel that the written protections are sufficient. The survey also shows that the lack of clarity about who is protected and what to do in the case of an academic freedom complaint.

critique: The response misses to mention that the survey shows that 49% identified as faculty on the tenure or tenure track, and that the survey shows that those who are not on the tenure track feel especially vulnerable and distrustful of the current policy.

critique: The text also mentions who is most impacted by the issues over academic freedom.

critique: The survey is not criticized for not being a free speech practice.

critique: The survey isn't criticized for not being a free speech practice.

question: What does the text say about where graduate students stand in UA's academic freedom policy?

answer: Graduate students occupy a strange "middle ground" because sometimes they are teachers, researchers, clinicians, and administrators, but they're also students. At times, graduate students may feel less able to speak up, and other times, they might have more ability to speak because they're not full-time employees of the university.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

critique:
- Instead of "middle-ground", it should be "a strange middle ground".
- The comma in "but they're also students" should be removed.

critique: The answer should mention that Zach Brooks, president of the Graduate and Professional Student Council, says that graduate students occupy a strange "middle ground".

critique: It's omitted that the survey showed that those who are not on the tenure track feel especially vulnerable and distrustful of the current policy.

critique: The answer should mention that Zach Brooks, president of the Graduate and Professional Student Council, says that graduate students occupy a strange "middle ground."


text:
AMA SUMANI (28 August 1965 – 19 March 2008) was a Ghanaian woman who was expelled from the United Kingdom to Ghana after overstaying her visa while she was suffering from a terminal form of bone marrow cancer and receiving dialysis treatment. It was reported that her expulsion caused her to go without a drug that could have prolonged her life, a drug not available in her native Ghana.[1][2]

Background

Ama Sumani, a mother of two,[3] first came to Wales in 2003 with a visitor's visa. According to her solicitor, with the hopes of getting a degree in economics, she quickly applied for a change in visa status to a student visa and attempted to stay in the U.K. by enrolling in a banking course at a local college in the Cardiff area.[4] Her lack of English language skills and poor educational level prevented her from enrolling. She returned to Ghana in 2005 to attend memorial services for her dead husband, but upon returning the UK, her student visa had been revoked. She was permitted to return to Wales under temporary admission assuming she adhered to certain conditions. She eventually violated those requirements by failing to maintain contact with immigration officials and elusive behavior in moving without updating her contact information.[5][6]

Her illness

By January 2006, she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer affecting the bone marrow. By January 2008, the aggressive cancer replicated and led to other serious health problems, namely kidney failure. After she refused a medically recommended transplant operation, doctors began kidney dialysis treatment, in order to prolong her life. Despite the pleas of solicitors working on behalf of Sumani, the Home Office of the United Kingdom ruled that due to Sumani “knowingly overstaying her visa”, she was to be “removed the country”. Sumani and her representatives pleaded for compassion, noting she could not afford dialysis treatment in Ghana, which would have cost £2,400 upfront to continue her treatment for three months.[7]

On 9 January 2008, Sumani was removed from University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff and transported to Accra, in her native homeland Ghana.[8] Sumani's situation had drawn international media coverage and would soon become a major cause célèbre in both the UK, the Netherlands and Ghana due to her near terminal deteriorating health condition.[9] Officials noted her forced migration was not a 'deportation' because an expired visa merits void legal status in the UK.[10]

Controversy

In an editorial, the _Lancet_, a British medical journal, decried the decision and wrote, “The UK has committed an atrocious barbarism ... [I]t is time for doctors' leaders to say so – forcefully and uncompromisingly.”[11] Church leaders in Wales, including Archbishop Dr. Barry Morgan and several other bishops were similarly upset, calling Sumani's removal a “breach of her basic human rights”.[12] Mrs. Sumani's solicitor said she accepted her removal was fair but said they had made representations on her behalf on compassionate grounds.[13]

In the wake of public criticism, Home Office representative Lin Homer defended its actions, stating that Sumani's case, while difficult, was not exceptional. She noted, “We deal with many hundreds of cases where the personal circumstances reach and touch the people involved. It is one of the things that makes being a caseworker in the agency a difficult job”.[14]

Sumani's health deteriorated after the removal, as she had not received dialysis treatment for several days after her arrival in Ghana. An anonymous donation of £3,000 was sent by a Dutch resident in Cardiff, and by 20 January 2008, Sumani had begun receiving dialysis treatment.[15] A charitable fund for Sumani's medical expenses was established, and as of February 2008 £30,000 had been donated to the fund. Trudie Styler was reported to have donated £10,000 into the fund.[16]

Death

Despite the kidney dialysis treatments, she was not able to access a supply of thalidomide, a drug that might have prolonged her life.[17] Donors had reportedly raised £70,000 toward her treatments and were able to find doctors in Britain and South Africa to treat her. News of the upcoming treatments reached Sumani on the morning of 18 March 2008.[18] Sumani died in Korle Bu Teaching Hospital in Accra the next day, on 19 March 2008.

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title: Ama Sumani

question: Summarize Sumani's illness.

answer: Sumani was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer affecting the bone marrow. By January 2008, the aggressive cancer replicated and led to other serious health problems, namely kidney failure. After she refused a medically recommended transplant operation, doctors began kidney dialysis treatment, in order to prolong her life.

critique: The answer should mention that Sumani was deported to Ghana, where she died.

critique: The response could include more details about Sumani's health problems.

critique: The answer could mention that Sumani was removed from the UK.

question: Summarize Sumani's immigration status.

answer: Sumani first came to Wales in 2003 with a visitor's visa. She applied for a change in visa status to a student visa and attempted to stay in the UK by enrolling in a banking course at a local college in the Cardiff area. Her lack of English language skills and poor educational level prevented her from enrolling. She returned to Ghana in 2005 to attend memorial services for her dead husband, but upon returning the UK, her student visa had been revoked. She was permitted to return to Wales under temporary admission assuming she adhered to certain conditions. She eventually violated those requirements by failing to maintain contact with immigration officials and elusive behavior in moving without updating her contact information.

critique: The answer should mention that she was expelled from the UK for overstaying her visa.

critique: The answer should mention that she was expelled from the UK.

critique: The answer is not a summary, but a copy-and-paste of the article.

critique: "She applied for a change in visa status to a student visa and attempted to stay in the UK by enrolling in a banking course at a local college in the Cardiff area. Her lack of English language skills and poor educational level prevented her from enrolling." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

critique: It's omitted she was deported for being in the UK without the proper visa even though she was ill.

critique: "She was permitted to return to Wales under temporary admission assuming she adhered to certain conditions." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

critique: The answer is a summary of Sumani's immigration status, and not of her immigration status.

critique: "She was permitted to return to Wales under temporary admission assuming she adhered to certain conditions. She eventually violated those requirements by failing to maintain contact with immigration officials and elusive behavior in moving without updating her contact information." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

question: What does the text say about Sumani's parents?

answer: No answer

critique: The text mentions that Sumani was a mother of two.

critique: The answer should mention that the text does not mention anything about Sumani's parents.

critique: The text mentions that Sumani had two children.


text:
Prince FEODOR OSTROGSKI (1360–1446) was a powerful magnate in Volhynia of Rurikid stock, son of Daniil Ostrogski. In some sources he's called _Teodor_, _Fedko_ or _Frederic_.[1] He was active in the Hussite Wars and assisted Sigismund Korybut.

Biography

In 1386 Grand Duke of Lithuania Jogaila granted him possession of Ostrog castle and appointed him governor of Volhynia with the capital at Lutsk in 1387.[2] In addition to Ostrog, Feodor became owner of Korets, Iziaslav (Zaslav), and other towns.

On 4 September 1390, Knyaz Feodor was commanding defence of one of the Vilnius Castles during its siege by the Vytautas the Great, Teutonic Knights and _knight guests_ from almost all of European states during the Lithuanian Civil War (1389–1392). The Crooked Castle was captured and its commander, Karigaila, brother of Jogaila, was killed. The Upper castle, with Polish staff and lower, commanded by Feodor, were rescued.[3]

In 1422 Feodor travelled to Bohemia in the entourage of Sigismund Korybut and was sent by him as an ambassador to the Hussites.[4] He fought in the Battle of Ústí. A folk song about this battle mentions _Frederic, Ruthenian Prince of Ostrog_, who left home and had assimilated Czech habits and language (_Jan Długosz book XI, page 650_).[5] In 1430 with Sigismund Korybut and Hussites he captured Gliwice and they made this town their stronghold, their participation in the Hussite assault on Saxony is however doubtful. Długosz, however, mentions it.[6] At Easter of the same year a group under the command of _Frederic Prince of Ostrog_, Jakub Nadobny from Rogów and Jan Kuropatwa from Łańcuchów Średniawa, attacked Jasna Góra Monastery, plundered it and destroyed Icon of Black Madonna of Częstochowa. A year later with Sigismund Korybut he attacked the Hungarian monastery in Lechnica.[7]

In the 1430s he supported Grand Duke Švitrigaila and the Teutonic Order in the civil war against Sigismund Kęstutaitis and war against Poland. On 30 November 1432 he was defeated at Kopestrzyn (or _kopersztyn_) by Ruthenian voivode Wincenty z Szamotuł,[8] Feodor escaped. In 1433 he led Czech and Polish Hussites from Greater Poland in battles against Poland and Neumark, they captured Drawno, Dobiegniew, Złocieniec and Santok; Gorzów Wielkopolski was rescued. Then they were joined by Hussites from Lesser Poland and after an unsuccessful siege of Chojnice castle captured Tczew, took two thousand captives and besieged Gdańsk with no result. After he captured Jasieniec on 13 September, a three-month armistice was agreed. On expiry of the truce, Ostrogski burned and looted Brest-Litovsk. Castle was not captured, however, due to Masovian Dukes relief. At that time he was probably imprisoned with Teodor Korybut by their own suzerain, Švitrigaila, and then rescued by Michał Buczacki.[9] It is not certain if Feodor Ostrogski switched sides and because of it was imprisoned, or if it happened after he was recaptured.

He was probably married to Agata Czurylowna (_Agrafena_ ?) and father to Wasyl "Krasny" Ostrogski. He died as a monk and was buried at the Kievan Cave Monastery under the name Teodosii (_Teodor_) and was later canonized (his feast day is 24 August).

[1] Jan Długosz: _Annales seu cronici incliti regni Poloniae_ in 1432 year

[2] Ostrogski in the Encyclopedia of Ukraine, vol. 3 (1993)

[3] Paweł Jasienica: _“Polska Jagiellonów”_ p.84

[4] [http://www.google.pl/books?id=NxHFMa635QAC&pg=PA73&dq=fedko+Ostrogski&lr=&hl=en&sig=OV135S_OOb3G8dxwsoFf4UHHz-s Pilgrimage to Images in the Fifteenth Century]

[5] [http://www.google.pl/books?id=PxYLAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA321&dq=daniel+ostrogski&lr=&hl=en#PPA91,M1 Bracia Władysława-Jagiełły Olgierdowicza, króla Polski, Wielkiego xie̜cia, pg. 91]

[6]

[7] [http://www.google.pl/books?id=PxYLAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA321&dq=daniel+ostrogski&lr=&hl=en#PPA96,M1 Bracia Władysława-Jagiełły Olgierdowicza, króla Polski, Wielkiego xie̜cia, pg. 96]

[8] Monarchic ceremonies in late medieval Cracow, page251

[9] [http://www.google.pl/books?id=j50tAAAAMAAJ&pg=RA1-PA61&dq=fedko+ostrogski&lr=&hl=en#PRA1-PA61,M1 Dzieje Polski podług ostatnich badań By Józef Szujski]

title: Feodor Ostrogski

question: What does the text say about Prince Feodor Ostrogski's role in the wars?

answer: In 1386, Prince Feodor Ostrogski was appointed as the governor of Volhynia by Grand Duke of Lithuania Jogaila. In 1390, he was commanding defense of one of the Vilnius Castles during its siege by the Vytautas the Great, Teutonic Knights, and knight guests from almost all of European states during the Lithuanian Civil War. In 1432, he was defeated at Kopestrzyn by Ruthenian voivode Wincenty z Szamotuł. He was probably married to Agata Czurylowna and fathered Wasyl "Krasny" Ostrogski. The latter was buried at the Kievan Cave Monastery under the name Teodosii.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: It is omitted that he led Czech and Polish Hussites from Greater Poland in battles against Poland and Neumark and captured Tczew, took two thousand captives, and besieged Gdańsk with no result. After he captured Jasieniec on 13 September, a three-month armistice was agreed.

critique: It is omitted that Ostrogski was commanding defense of one of the Vilnius Castles during its siege by the Vytautas the Great, Teutonic Knights, and knight guests from almost all of European states during the Lithuanian Civil War.


text:
One beer down and two to go, a can tossed from the window. A foot on the pedal and his mouth to metal he chokes on his barley and rye as the light is such sights for his sore eyes. With a flick of his wrist the lights dimmed to darkness of the mist. Gripping the wheel with force, speed became the moment of his source.

“Fuck her”. Jeremy cried. With his fist balled he punched the dash only to find that he changed the station. Life couldn't get any worse. Just today he lost his job and while coming home he found another man in bed with his wife. And now,a good song, lost in frequencies of his own stupidity. Thumbing for the tune, his eyes drifted from the road. “ Don't leave me too”. Jeremy whimpered as his fingers slipped pass the dial. Reaching for the head lights his eyes jerked forward. A dark silhouette in the middle of the windshield raced towards his car. With a twist of his fingers, an array of white shinned in the face of his wife. “Emma!”. Jeremy shouted.

The car thumped and rocked from side to side. With two feet on the brake, his heels dug into the floorboard as red flashed into his eyes from the shine of the rear view mirror. He kicked open the door and flung himself out into the road. “It cant be you. I killed you and your mutt.” Jeremy screamed. Walking slowly around his car he noticed he didn't have any damages and neither a body of any type to be found.

Jeremy walked back to his car. His seat warm and wet, he nestles back into position slamming the door behind him. While adjusting the mirror the radio broke into an emergency broadcast. “ THIS JUST IN. ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT ON THE LOOSE. TWO DEAD. FUGITIVE WEARING A WOMANS BLOUSE AND THE SKIN OF HIS VICTIM. DO NOT APPROACH. HE IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS. I REPEAT. ARMED AND DANGEROUS". Glancing to his left and right, Jeremy changed the station. “ Ha! What idiots. I'm going to get away with this scot free. Some retard is gonna get the book thrown at him for what I've done”. Revving the engine Jeremy thrust the gears into drive while smoke boiled beneath the tires.

A few miles down the road and one twenty on the speedometer, a cop appears from behind. Blue lights and sirens wailed for him to pull over. “Shit”, Jeremy thought. “Keep calm. It will all be over soon. Let him give me a ticket and ill be on my way”. A flash light tapped the car window. “ Could you roll down your window please, sir”.

“What seems to be the problem officer”? With a pen in hand, paper followed. The officer began to write. “license and registration”. Jeremy reached for his glove compartment and saw his gun on the floorboard. Not to bring any attention to it, he quickly opened the glove box and grabbed his registration. “Mr. Barns do you know how fast you were going”? Jeremy tried to remember but the thought of getting caught clouded his mind. “No officer I don't But I bet your gonna tell me”. The officer turned on his flash light and looked inside the car window. “Have you been drinking tonight”? The officer asked. His hands cupped his face to get a better look in the back seat. “No officer, I haven't ”, Jeremy said with a smile of confidence to follow.

The officer turned towards Jeremy and stared right into his eyes. “ What about her”? Asked the officer. With a scorn look of fear Jeremy sat still. twisting towards the back seat, a knife ran against his throat. Looking in the face of his wife he noticed her eyes weren't the same color as before. With her skin welted and withered, blood dripped from the cracks of her lips. A smile emerged from the floppy flesh when a deep voice of a man said, “What wrong honey. You don't love me any more!”.

title: Criminally Insane

question: Why is Jeremy feeling so down?

answer: He lost his job and found another man in bed with his wife.

critique: It is omitted that he killed his wife and her lover.

critique: He only finds his wife in bed with another man.

critique: The answer should mention that Jeremy killed his wife.

critique: Add in the fact that he thinks his wife is dead.

critique: It's omitted that Jeremy thought Emma was dead.

question: What does Jeremy think he's got away with?

answer: Bearing the characteristics of a fight-or-flight response, Jeremy panicked when the police pulled him over. He remembered the radio often advertised calls for the public to report sightings of people with mental disabilities. He thought, at the time, that the description matched what was happening on the road. In his panic, Jeremy might have inadvertently bluffed the police, who weren't trained mental health professionals and only wanted to give him a mere warning or a ticket.

critique: The police officer asks him about his wife.

critique: The answer is a bit confusing and doesn't seem to answer the question.

question: Who is in the back of the car and how did he get there?

answer: Jeremy's wife is in the back of the car. The mental patient is in the back of the car and it seems that he has taken the form of Jeremy's wife.

critique: "The mental patient is in the back of the car and it seems that he has taken the form of Jeremy's wife." - the escaped mental patient is the one who changed the narrator's wife into this monstrous form and placed the knife to Jeremy's neck. He definitely took the form of his wife. Still, the story is confusing and it still doesn't answer the question of how the mental patient got in the back of the car.

critique: The mental patient is not in the back of the car, he is in the back seat.

critique: It is not stated that the mental patient has taken the form of Jeremy's wife.

critique: The mental patient is not in the back of the car.

critique: The mental patient is in the back of the car and it seems that he has taken the form of Jeremy's wife. - this is irrelevant and should be removed.


text:
Families across the world love pets whether it be a dog, cat, hamster, teacup piglet or all the above. With that being said, pets can be a strong deterrent to any potential home buyer, including pet lovers.

It is strongly suggested that any trace of pets be eradicated during the selling process- mainly for showings and open houses.  Even for pet lovers, animals can be a distraction.  You want interested buyers to focus on the charm and selling points of your home, not the barking dog or the kitty’s litter box.

To ensure a successful selling process, follow these 6 simple steps to make sure your pet doesn’t scare off a potential buyer.

1. INSURANCE:

Be sure to check your insurance in order to protect yourself if your pet happens to hurt anyone. While you know that your pet wouldn’t do that, one accidental bite could put you in trouble. Go over your homeowner’s insurance and be sure that it covers such incidents.

If your insurance does not cover this, then we suggest removing your pet from the house whenever buyers or agents are scheduled to visit.

2. YOUR YARD:

It’s extremely important to prepare your yard for a showing. If people are viewing it from a distance or if they take a stroll around the property you want it to be as pristine as possible. Make sure that any pet droppings are cleared away to avoid someone stepping in them. They’ll either leave right then and there or they’ll unknowingly track it back into your house.

Also, before you put your home on the market do what you can to make youryard impeccable. Try to get your animals to do their business in one particular section of the yard. People will be more attracted to a beautiful green yard far more than one that has brown and yellow stains all over the grass from pet urine.

[SELLING WITH PETS]3. ODORS:

A lot of people that own pets have a residing odor that lurks in their house. Hiding and putting away a litter box is easy but cleaning the years of stink off the rugs and hardwood can be more difficult. Try bacteria-eating pet odor remover to terminate any traces of your pet. If that doesn’t work, it would be beneficial to hire a professional carpet or rug cleaner.

4. PET HAIR:

This one may be a no brainer but be sure to clean up all and any pet hair. It looks messy and any hair around the house can trigger possible allergies that a home buyer may have.

Before showing your home, vacuum and dust everything up! You can also think about buying a robotic vacuum that can clean your floors throughout the day.

5. HIDE ANY EVIDENCE:

With owning a dog it seems that after time, stuff continues to pile and pile up at the house. From leashes, and toys to food and dog beds, it would be a good idea to hide and store away all of this. If a home buyer comes into your home, they shouldn’t be able to know that you own a dog!

6. SEE YOU LATER:

If you don’t have someone nearby that can look over your dog for the time being, be sure to crate them up or confine them to a special area in your home. If you think there is any chance that your dog will bark or become a distraction, it’s strongly suggested that you find someone to take care of them. There are many good options for doggie daycares that can assist you in having a pet free home during a showing.

For more information about selling your home, please feel free to reach out. We can be reached at 855-510-7653 or through the online contact form above.

question: What does the text say about a good brand for a dog crate?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should include the fact that the text does not mention a specific brand for dog crates.

critique: There is no answer to this question because not one can be found from the text.

question: What does the text say about the issues pet owners are likely to face when selling their homes?

answer: Pet owners are likely to face issues when selling their homes. The first issue is insurance. The author suggests that pet owners should check their insurance to protect themselves in case their pet bites someone. The second issue is the yard. The author suggests that pet owners should clean up any pet droppings to avoid stepping in them. The third issue is odors. The author suggests that pet owners should use bacteria-eating pet odor remover to get rid of any traces of their pet. The fourth issue is pet hair. The author suggests that pet owners should clean up all pet hair. The fifth issue is hiding any evidence. The author suggests that pet owners should hide any evidence of their pet. The sixth issue is seeing the pet owner. The author suggests that pet owners should find someone to take care of their pet if they think their pet will bark or become a distraction.

critique: The author's advice is not the only issue pet owners are likely to face when selling their homes.

critique: The answer is a summary of the text, not a response to the question.

critique: The first sentence is unnecessary, so omit it.

critique: The answer is made up of a series of sentences that are not related to the question.

critique: The fifth and sixth issues are in unnecessary wordiness. They can be combined into the final issue, see you later, using clearer language to communicate their concept.

critique: The author suggests that pet owners should hide evidence of their pet, not hide any evidence.

question: What does the text say about the importance of a clean yard during a showing?

answer: The author of the text says that it's extremely important to prepare your yard for a showing. They suggest making sure any pet droppings are cleared away to avoid someone stepping in them. They'll either leave right then and there or they'll unknowingly track it back into your house. They also suggest making the yard impeccable.

critique: Adding the missing preposition 'in' to 'track' makes the sentence clearer.

critique: The article also mentions cleaning the yard of stains.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of green grass over brown and yellow pet stains.

critique: "They also suggest making the yard impeccable." - is redundant and should be deleted.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of a clean yard for attracting buyers.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of a clean yard in attracting buyers.

question: What does the text say about pets present during a showing or open house?

answer: Rules must be put in place to ensure the pet does not enter the showing or open house, as a pet may scare off a potential buyer. Selling a house with a pet requires insulation, perfect yard care, and good odor removal. The pet hair must be cleaned up.

critique: The answer omits the hiding of the evidence of the pet.

critique: The answer should mention that the pet should be hidden.

critique: The answer should mention the hiding of evidence.

critique: The text does not say anything about insulation.

critique: Remove the first sentence of the answer, as it is not relevant to the question.

critique: The details are presented as recommendations rather than "rules", meaning that specific measures need to be taken.

critique: The answer should mention that the author suggests that the pet be removed.

text: The answer is mostly irrelevant. It is omitted that if you don’t have someone nearby that can look over your dog for the time being, be sure to crate them up or confine them to a special area in your home. If you think there is any chance that your dog will bark or become a distraction, it’s strongly suggested that you find someone to take care of them.


text:
CUPID'S INSPIRATION are a British pop group, active with various line up changes since 1968 when they had two hit singles. The band are currently on the road with original drummer Roger Gray re-joining the veteran line up of Paul Shanahan and Bob Poole with Paul Thomas on vocals.

Career

Originally from Stamford, Lincolnshire, the band were at first called The Ends[1] (no relation to The End).

The group scored two Top 40 hits on the UK Singles Chart in 1968. “Yesterday Has Gone”, originally a hit for Little Anthony and The Imperials,[2] reached No. 4 in July of that year, and “My World” went to No. 33 in October.[3] In 1970, lead singer Terry Rice-Milton the vocalist on the hit singles left, replaced by John Lynch and then Martin Cure, who added several musicians from Leamington to the line-up so none of the hit making band remained after these changes.

Rice-Milton had his third hit with “You're my World” in 1970 (a song that had previously been a hit for Cilla Black),[4] while bass player Gordon Haskell later joined King Crimson.[5]

By 1978, the band began writing and recording heavier rock songs. These were performed under a different name, initially '4 Wheel Drive', which they soon changed to 'Chevy', to avoid alienating Cupid's Inspiration fans. They recruited Steve Walwyn, later of Dr. Feelgood to give a “twin guitar” sound. As 'Chevy' they toured supporting bands such as Alvin Lee, Hawkwind and Gillan.<[6] Chevy recorded two BBC In Concert Programmes, issued three singles: “Too Much Loving” / “See the Light”, “The Taker” / “Life on the Run” and “Just Another Day” / “Rock On” and one album _The Taker_, released in September 1980.[7]

In the 1990s and early 2000s, some of the original group played reunion shows with other bands from the era.

In 2010, Bob Poole returned from 18 years in Germany and together with Paul Shanahan, ex Peppermint Circus vocalist Paul Thomas, and ex Ben E King and Barbara Dickinson drummer Rick Medlock reformed Cupid's Inspiration later replacing Rick Medlock with Roger Gray, the original band drummer who played on all the records who had left in 1972.

In September 2012, founder members Terry Rice-Milton and Laughton James, together with Bernie Lee, who was a member during 1968/69, and drummer Tony Peck from The Ends played a reunion concert in their home town of Stamford, which they are hoping to repeat in 2014.

The band's hit single, featuring Terry-Rice Milton, “Yesterday Has Gone” (written by Teddy Randazzo[8] and Victoria Pike) has featured on many compilation albums, including _Sixties Power Ballads - The Greatest Driving Anthems in the World... Ever!_ (2007) as well as their original album _Yesterday Has Gone_ (1969).

Members

-   Terry Rice-Milton (born Terence Bull, 5 June 1946, Stamford, Lincolnshire - lead vocals (to 1970)
-   Laughton James (born James Laughton, 21 December 1946, Stamford, Lincolnshire) - bass guitarist (to October 1968)
-   Garfield Tonkin (born John Sharpe, 28 September 1946, Stamford, Lincolnshire) - keyboards (to 1969)
-   Wyndham George (born Geoffrey Wyndham Hart, 20 February 1947, Stamford, Lincolnshire) - guitar (to October 1968)
-   Bernie Lee (born July 1943, North Wales) - lead guitar (October 1968 to 1970) (ex-Umbrella)
-   Gordon Haskell (born Gordon Hionides, 27 April 1946, Verwood, Dorset, England) - bass (October 1968 to 1969)
-   Roger Gray (born 29 April 1947, Stamford) - drums (to 1972 and 2014)
-   David Morris (London) - electronic organ (1969 onwards)
-   Derek Needham (born 10 October 1945, London) - bass (1969–71)
-   Martin Cure - lead vocals (1970 to 2008)
-   Paul Shanahan - lead guitar/vocals (1970 to 1985 and 2010 to 2014)
-   Jim Batty - guitar (1985 to 2008)
-   Bob Poole - bass guitar/vocals (1970 to 1985 and 2010 to 2014)
-   Andy Chaplin - drums (1970 to 1981)
-   Eamonn Carr - guitar/vocals (1972)
-   Paul Brooke - drums (1981 to 2008)
-   Keith Hancock - bass (1987 to 2008)
-   Ted Duggan - drums (1987 to 2008)
-   Paul Thomas - vocals (2010 to 2014)
-   Kevan Towning (2017 to present)
-   barry Scott (2017 to present)
-   Rick Medlock - drums (2010 to 2013)

[1] Larkin C 'Virgin Encyclopedia of Sixties Music' (Muze UK Ltd, 1997) p137

[2]

[3] Search for “Cupid's Inspiration” performed at Everyhit.com database on 24 April 2008.

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8] [ Discography - songs], AllMusic

title: Cupid's Inspiration

question: Describe what makes Cupid's Inspiration's top hits significant.

answer: No answer

critique: There are hits by Cupid's Inspiration, so the question can be answered.

critique: The response misses to answer the instruction in the task.

question: What does the article say about the various name changes of 'Cupid's Inspiration'?

answer: 'Cupid's Inspiration' started off as 'The Ends' and changed their name to 'Cupid's Inspiration' in 1968. In 1970, lead vocalist Terry Rice-Milton left and subsequently changed their name from 'Cupid's Inspiration' to 'Chevy'. The band later changed their name again to '4 Wheel Drive'.

critique: The band's name was changed to 'Chevy' in 1978.

critique: The band's name was changed to 'Chevy' to avoid alienating fans.

critique: '4 Wheel Drive' referred to a name under which their hard rock music was performed, not a name change

critique: The band changed their name to '4 Wheel Drive' in 1978.

critique: The answer omits the band's name changes after 1970.

critique: The answer omits the band's name changes in 1978 and 2010.

critique: It's omitted that the band changed their name to 'Chevy' to avoid alienating Cupid's Inspiration fans.

text: The last two name changes were not done in 1970 but in 1978, when the band changed their name to '4 Wheel Drive' first then changed to 'Chevy'.

question: What does the article say were the reasons for the constant change in band members?

answer: No answer

critique: The article does not explicitly state the reasons for the constant change in band members.

critique: The article implicitly mentions several reasons.

critique: It is omitted that the reasons for the constant change in band members are not discussed in the article.

text: There are a couple of guesses that can be made as to the reason for the constant change: the change of band members or the change of music played.


text:
He was speeding. Driving twice the limit,
full of excitement and anticipation. He slowed down as his
automated direction giver announced a shorter distance
to his destination with every turn. Eventually he arrived,
his six hundred mile journey had finally reached its end.
And now his heart could start his first step. He parked
behind his arrival location, making every movement
discreet as possible. He looked over himself,  in his car's
mirrors, trying and hoping that he looked as good as
possible. When he deemed himself presentable, he grabbed
something from the glove compartment, and set out.

He was going to surprise her, the two hadn't spoken in
months; and now that they were of age, he could
finally make his intentions clear. He walked slowly, trying to
keep his composure, and his cocktail of emotions under wraps.
Excitement and nerves, it would be the first time that the two
would meet, yet they've known each other, and loved each other
for years by this point. They dreamed of this day, and hopefully
this would live up to all of their dreams and imagination.

He exhaled, and continued the final leg of his journey with
confidence in his strut. His hands in his coat pockets, fumbling
with the item he pulled from his car. He stepped up the steps to her
door, and knocked with three heavy knocks, quick in their repitition.

He could hear heavy footfalls coming from the other side of the door.
Hoping she would answer, he held a certain kind of joyful stance. The
composure would die as quick as a short breath after calisthenics. To his
surprise, she did not open the door, but a taller much more somber looking
woman answered. He tried to hide his intial disappointment, and cleared
his throat.

"Is Breanne there?"

There was a pause in the air, a lingering feeling of doubt, as if he asked the
wrong question. His doubts were answered as tears rolled down the woman's
face. He was clueless, wondering how such a question could cause this reaction.

"What's your name, son?"

He answered quickly."Edgar, Edgar Williams."

She nodded. "She's talked about you, I recognised you from a photo she shared with me"

There was a curious look on his face, then she motioned for him to come inside.
He walked in, and the door closed behind him. She pointed to the small, black
leather couch in the living room in front of him. He sat down, anticipating either
bad news or a stern talking to. She, though aware of the stranger in her home,
walked upstairs to get something. Edgar sat there in silence, observing the area
around him. She then came downstairs, hold a few pieces of paper in her ebony hands.

"This is for you, you were the only person she wrote to besides her actual note.
Seeing as how you're here, I can only assume you don't know."

She handed him the papers, her hands shaking, and him looking at her with a look
of curiosity.
"Don't know what, ma'am?"

She coughed, but then spoke. "She died last month, she killed herself."

Edgar's world just came crashing down on him. He looked at her in agony,
his caucasian complexion redding as he broke down in tears. She sat down
next to him, a smooth arm wrapping around him, consoling him as he cried.

"I didn't read the note she did put aside for you and you only. Not to push
you, but what did she say?"

He stopped, sniffed, and wiped his eyes. He took ahold of the papers. He looked
down at the papers to see a letter, a picture, and a folded paper heart. He
unfolded the heart first, and to his surprise he saw it was one of his own writings
to her, a poem he wrote to her when they first starting falling for each other. He
placed that down to the side, as the mother  picked it up and read it intently. He
looked at the photograph, a self potrait polaroid of Breanne. On the back of the
picture, it read this. "Don't ever forget my love is always here. I'm sorry"
Breanne's mother spoke up. "The letter"
He wiped his eyes from freshly falling tears, and held the letter up so he could read.

"Edgar

Our love may last forever, but alas, I cannot outlast Death. I could write novels as to
how I came to make this decision, but I will simplify. Life hit me in a wave that I could
not handle. I hope my mother is sober enough to provide further points of clarification.
I hold nothing against her, but she wasn't there like you were. So even if I pushed you
back, I always loved you. And I hope you know that for forever. And while we could
never be, I'll always be your darling, your darling, your life and your bride. I ask you
not to hate me for what I have done, as I know it may seem I've cheated you out of
forever, but I did what I thought was necessary. My heart is, and always was yours.

With love and apologies,

Breanne"

It was short, and to the point, like most suicide notes. No tears rolled down his face nor
the Mother's. The subsiding sniffles from earlier were dying out.
"Take me to her" He asked, almost demandingly.
"I don't think you want to do that," She said with a caring inflection.
He looked at her puzzlingly, and with a twisted look on his face, he was enraged.
"WHY!? She's dead and maybe because of you!"
He realised the sudden pang of his words, as he watched her collapse onto him.
He kept muttering apology after apology. Instead she just gripped harder, and
inbetween her sobs, she began to ask: "Her heart was to you, she told me that"

He was thinking about what she was going to ask.

"Did you love her back completely?"

"Take me to her, and I'll show you how much."

They collected themselves, and they went for their vehicles. Before they set off,
she asked where her other children were. She told him that she lost them in an
even more recent event, a divorce. He found it as a miracle that this woman could
hold her own, but her job as a soldier with military training can help greatly with
emotional silencing. they went to their cars and drove off. The drive was lengthy,
a decent 45 minutes until they reached a suburban environment,filled with green fields.
They reached a small cemetery, and stopped. Her grave was the only fresh one, flowers
still colored and soft from her recent burial. He, dressed in all black, fell to his knees on a
strangely cold summer day. From his coat pocket he pulled out the object from the glove
compartment, a ring box. The mother gasped at the object, staring in both awe and pity.
He opened the box, and placed the ring on her tombstone. Muttering, no one hearing but
her and him.

"One day after this life."

title: Shattered Promises

question: What does the story have to say about suicide?

answer: No answer

critique: The story seems to suggest that taking one's own life is an unfortuitous, if not regrettable choice for which there can be prior warning or an aftermath that does not hurt others as much.

critique: There is an answer. The answer is to say that the story shows the devastating effects of suicide on the people left behind, especially when the loved one's suicide is unexpected.

critique: The answer should mention the suicide note.

question: Summarize the character of Edgar

answer: Edgar is a man who has been in love with Breanne for years. He is a romantic and seems to be a very caring person, as he is concerned about her mother's welfare. He is also driven by his emotions, as he is very upset by Breanne's suicide.

critique: We do not know how long Edgar has been in love with Breanne for.

critique: "He is also driven by his emotions, as he is very upset by Breanne's suicide." - this is inaccurate. Edgar was not driven by his emotions. He was driven by his love for Breanne.

critique: It is omitted that Edgar is a bit of a pushover, as he is easily manipulated by Breanne's mother.

critique: The answer omits that Edgar is also a bit of a coward, as he is willing to travel 600 miles to make his intentions clear to Breanne, but is too afraid to read her suicide note.

critique: The passage mentions the two were in love, but the narrator's feelings aren't expressed. The narrator is not a good person, as it mentions he punched Breanne's mother in the stomach when Breanne's mother told Edgar that Breanne died by far, then spit on her grave afterward.  Reformulated for accuracy.

critique: The answer omits that Edgar is determined to go to Breanne's grave to prove his love for her.

critique: The answer omits his excitement and anticipation.

critique: The answer omits that Edgar is a man who is going to propose to Breanne.

question: Why did Edgar lose touch with Breanne?

answer: It is implied that he is a soldier who was sent away.

critique: It is not implied that he is a soldier who was sent away.

critique: It is also implied that she is a soldier and was sent away.

critique: There is no mention of Edgar being a soldier.

critique: The answer is not implied. It is stated.