text:
AMY BROWN (8 April 1783 – 7 May 1876) was the English mistress of Charles Ferdinand, Duke of Berry, younger son of King Charles X of France and Marie Thérèse of Savoy. Some authors have stated that they married in a secret ceremony which was conducted in England by her father, a Protestant pastor, but there is no evidence of it. Together they had two daughters; however, when he returned to France, he was constrained to put an end to his relationship for reasons of state.

Early years

Amy Brown was born on 8 April 1783 in Maidstone, Kent,

 England, as the fifth child of eight born to John L. (in other sources named Joseph) Brown, a Protestant pastor,[1] and his wife Mary Ann Deacon. By 1793, Amy's four older siblings had died in infancy or early youth, and thus she became the eldest surviving child of her parents.

On 10 January 1804 Amy gave birth a daughter, named Georgina Emma Marshall. Her second child, a son named Georges Granville Brown, was born on 20 February 1805 and ten months later, on 25 December, a third child, another son named John Freeman was also born. Apparently this last child was born in a legitimate marriage with a certain Mr. Freeman. Nothing further is recorded of her husband or his subsequent fate; however, author David Skuy describes Amy as having been a widow when she first met the duke.[2]

The Duke of Berry

Amy met Charles Ferdinand, Duke of Berry in 1805 in London, three years after the Bourbon royal family was exiled to England. As her son had been born in December of that year, it was likely that they had first met while she was pregnant, although the exact date of their meeting is not known. In late 1806 or early 1807, Amy gave birth to another son, named Robert Freeman; his surname established that Amy's husband appears as the official father, although is probable that the Duke of Berry was the biological father of both John and Robert Freeman, but never recognised them. Robert died young, in 1823.

Amy perhaps married Charles Ferdinand in a secret ceremony conducted by her father in 1806, without the duke having first obtained permission from his family and ignoring the fact that as a non-Catholic, no son of Amy's could ever ascend the French throne.[3] As it turned out, they did not have a son (with the controversial exception of John and Robert Freeman), although Amy bore the duke two daughters:[4]

-   Charlotte Marie Augustine de Bourbon, comtesse d'Issoudun (13 July 1808 – 13 July 1886),[5] married in 1823 Ferdinand de Faucigny-Lucinge, Prince of Lucinge, by whom she had issue. She is an ancestress of Anne-Aymone Giscard d'Estaing, president Valéry Giscard d'Estaing's wife.
-   Louise Marie Charlotte de Bourbon, Comtesse de Vierzon (29 December 1809 – 26 December 1891), married in 1827 Charles de Charette de La Contrie, Baron de La Contrie, by whom she had issue. She is an ancestress of French minister Hervé de Charette.

After receiving the news of Napoleon's abdication, the duke returned to France in 1814, taking his daughters with him. Amy remained behind in England. Upon his return, he was constrained to separate Amy for political reasons. If it was real, the marriage was declared invalid due to the lack of royal consent to the match, and therefore the official position was that Amy had never been his wife at all but rather his mistress.[6] He subsequently married Maria Carolina (5 November 1798 – 17 April 1870), eldest daughter of King Francis I of the Two Sicilies, by whom he had four children, including Henri, Comte de Chambord, Legitimist pretender to the throne of France. He also fathered two illegitimate sons by dancer Eugénie-Virginie Oreille (8 August 1795 – October 1875), who was one of his many mistresses. The duke was assassinated by a saddler, Louis Pierre Louvel on 14 February 1820; while he lay dying, the duke asked to see Amy and his daughters, entrusting them to the care of his wife, who afterwards adopted the two girls.[7]

Death and legacy

Amy's son by her first marriage, John Freeman died 26 August 1866 in Zurich, Switzerland; and Amy herself died on 7 May 1876 at the age of ninety-three at the Chateau de La Contrie, France. Through her daughter, the Baronne de Charette, Amy is the ancestress of Hervé de Charette[8] (born 30 July 1938) the French Foreign Minister from 1995–1997 [Charles Ferdinand, Duke of Berry, husband or lover of Amy Brown]

[1] David Skuy, _Assassination, power, and miracles: France and the Royalist reaction of 1820_, (2003), McGill-Queen's University Press, Canada, , Google Books, p.4, retrieved 4-10-10

[2] Skuy, p.4

[3] Skuy, p. 4

[4] Francois Velde,_The French Royal Family: A Genealogy_

[5]

[6] Skuy, p. 5

[7] Skuy, p. 12

[8] François Velde, _The French Royal Family: A Genealogy_

title: Amy Brown (royal mistress)

question: What does the text say about Charles Ferdinand's military career?

answer: No answer

critique: This answer is false. The text does say something about Charles Ferdinand's career.

critique: The answer should mention that the text doesn't mention anything about his military career.

critique: The answer should mention that there is no information about Ferdinand's military career.

critique: The response misses to provide an answer to the instruction in the task.

critique: The response misses to provide an adequate answer to the task which is to provide information about Charles Ferdinand's military career.

critique: The answer should mention that the text does not mention anything about his military career.

critique: The information can be found in the text

question: What does the text say about Amy Brown's early life?

answer: Amy was born in Maidstone, Kent, England, as the fifth child of eight born to John L. Brown, a Protestant pastor, and his wife Mary Ann Deacon. Amy's four older siblings had died in infancy or early youth, and so she became the eldest surviving child of her parents.

critique: The answer should mention that Amy's father was a Protestant pastor.

text: The answer should include Amy's date of birth.

category: coverage

question: What does the text say about Amy and the Duke of Berry?

answer: Amy met the Duke of Berry in 1805 in London. She gave birth to a son in 1806, and it was likely that they met while she was pregnant. She gave birth to another son in 1807. The Duke of Berry was exiled to England with his family, and he returned to France in 1814. They had a daughter, Charlotte Marie Augustine de Bourbon, comtesse d'Issoudun, in 1808, and another daughter, Louise Marie Charlotte de Bourbon, Comtesse de Vierzon, in 1809. The Duke of Berry married Maria Carolina in 1814, and he was assassinated in 1820.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

critique: The Duke of Berry married Maria Carolina in 1814 before he was assassinated in 1820.

text:
- The answer omits that the duke of berry returned to France with his two daughters but without any in 1814.
- The answer omits that the Duke of Berry was likely the biological father of both John and Robert Freeman, Amy's sons, but he never recognized them.
- It omits that Amy married Charles Ferdinand in a secret ceremony conducted by her father in 1806, without the duke having first obtained permission from his family and ignoring the fact that as a non-Catholic, no son of Amy's could ever ascend the French throne.
- The answer also omits that when the duke returned to France in 1814, he was forced to separate Amy for political reasons, and their marriage was declared invalid due to the lack of royal consent to the match, making Amy his mistress (how she initially got the nickname).

question: What does the text say about the Duke of Berry?

answer: He was the younger son of King Charles X of France and Marie Thérèse of Savoy. He was married to Maria Carolina, who had four children. He fathered two illegitimate sons and had two illegitimate children with Amy Brown. He returned to France in 1814, taking his daughters with him, and was constrained to separate from Brown for political reasons. He was assassinated by a saddler, Louis Pierre Louvel, in 1820. His dying wish was to see Amy and his daughters.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.


split: train

text:
[ESPI fringes – flat plate rotated about a vertical axis – the fringes represents displacement in the viewing direction; the difference in displacement between fringes is about 0.3μm.]ELECTRONIC SPECKLE PATTERN INTERFEROMETRY (ESPI),[1] also known as TV HOLOGRAPHY, is a technique which uses laser light, together with video detection, recording and processing to visualise static and dynamic displacements of components with optically rough surfaces. The visualisation is in the form of fringes on the image where each fringe normally represents a displacement of half a wavelength of the light used (i.e. quarter of a micrometre or so).

ESPI can be used for stress and strain measurement, vibration mode analysis and nondestructive testing.[2] ESPI is similar to holographic interferometry in many ways, but there are also significant differences[3] between the two techniques.

How it works

The component under investigation must have an optically rough surface so that when it is illuminated by an expanded laser beam, the image formed is a subjective speckle pattern. The light arriving at a point in the speckled image is scattered from a finite area of the object, and its phase, amplitude and intensity, which are all random, are directly related to the microstructure of that area in the object.

A second light field, known as the reference beam, is derived from the same laser beam and is superimposed on the video camera image (different configurations enable different measurements to be made). The two light fields interfere and the resulting light field has random amplitude, phase and intensity, and is therefore also a speckle pattern. If the object is displaced or deformed, the distance between object and image will change, and hence the phase of the image speckle pattern will change. The relative phases of reference and object beam change, and therefore the intensities of the combined light field changes. However, if the phase change of the object light field is a multiple of 2π, the relative phases of the two light fields will be unchanged, and the intensity of the overall image will also be unchanged.

To visualize this effect, the image and reference beams are combined on a video camera and recorded. When the object has been displaced/deformed, the new image is subtracted point by point from the first image. The resulting image is a speckle pattern with black 'fringes' representing contours of constant 2nπ.

Configurations

Out-of-plane displacement measurement

[Optical arrangement to obtain out-of-plane ESPI fringes]The reference beam is an expanded beam derived from the laser beam, and is added to the image of the object which is formed on the video camera.

The amplitude of the light at any point in the image is the sum of the light from the object (object beam) and the second beam (reference beam). If the object moves in the direction of viewing, the distance travelled by the object beam changes, its phase changes, and therefore the amplitude of the combined beams changes. When the second speckle pattern is subtracted from the first, fringes are obtained which represent contours of displacement along the viewing direction (out-of-plane displacement). These are not interference fringes, and are sometimes referred to as 'correlation' fringes since they map out areas of the speckle pattern which are more or less correlated. Strictly speaking, the fringes represent purely out-of-plane displacement only if the surface is illuminated normally (this requires a beam splitter to be used to illuminate the object), but the dependence on in-plane movement is relatively small unless the object illumination is well away from the normal direction.

The fringes in the image above are out-of-plane fringes. The plate has been rotated about a vertical axis and the fringes represent contours of constant displacement. The contour interval is about 0.3μm since a He-Ne laser was used in the system. As with many interferometric techniques, it is not possible to identify the zero-order fringe without additional information from the system. That means a rigid body motion of a half wavelength (0.3μm) towards the camera does not change the fringe pattern.

Holographic interferometry provides the same information as out-of-plane ESPI fringes.

Out-of-plane vibration measurement

[ESPI fringes showing one of the vibration modes of a clamped square plate] The optical arrangement is the same as for out-of-plane displacement above. The object is vibrated at a specific frequency. Those parts of the object which do not move will continue to be speckled. It can be shown that parts of the object which vibrate with amplitudes of nλ/4 have higher speckle contrast than those parts which vibrate at (n+½)λ/4.

This system is simpler to operate than either of the displacement measuring systems, as the fringes are obtained without any recording being required. The vibration mode can be observed in the image from the camera as a variation in speckle contrast rather than as a variation in intensity but it is quite difficult to discern. When the image is high-pass filtered, the variation in contrast is converted to a variation in intensity, and a fringe pattern of the form shown in the diagram is observed where the fringes are clearly visible.

Holographic interferometry can be used in the same way to map out vibration modes.

[Optical arrangement for viewing in-plane displacement sensitive fringes]

In-plane measurement

The object is illuminated by two beams derived from the same laser beam which are incident on the object from opposite sides. When the object is displaced or deformed in the direction normal to the viewing direction (i.e. in it its own plane), the phase of one beam increases, while that of the other decreases, so that the relative phase of the two beams changes. When this change is a multiple of 2π, the speckle pattern coincides with itself (remains the same), while elsewhere it changes.[4] When the subtraction technique described above is used, fringes are obtained which represent in-plane displacement contours.[5]

In-plane displacement gradient measurement

The object is illuminated by two beams derived from the same laser which are incident on the object from the same side but at different angles. When the object is displaced or deformed within its own plane, the relative phases of the two beams change in proportion to the gradient[6] of the in-plane displacement. Again, subtraction of the two images is used to display the fringes.

Holographic interferometry has no equivalent to in-plane measuring[7] ESPI. Acoustic interferometry, among with electromagnetic acoustic transducers, is capable of measure the two polarizations of in-plane vibrations.[8]

[1] Jones R & Wykes C, Holographic and Speckle Interferometry, 1989, Cambridge University Press

[2]

[3] Schnars U, Falldorf C, Watson J, Jueptner W, Digital Holography and Wavefront Sensing, Chapter 8, second edition, 2014, Springer https://www.springer.com/de/book/9783662446928

[4]

[5] Gasvik K J, Optical Metrology, chapter 6.3, 1987, John Wiley & Sons

[6] Gasvik K J, Optical Metrology, chapter 6.3, 1987, John Wiley & Sons

[7] Kreis T, Handbook of Holographic Interferometry, 2004, Wiley-VCH

[8] In-plane vibrations of a rectangular plate: Plane wave expansion modelling and experiment, A.Arreola-Lucas, J.A.Franco-Villafañe, G.Báez, and R.A.Méndez-Sánchez, Journal of Sound and Vibration Volume 342, (2015), 168–176

title: Electronic speckle pattern interferometry

question: How does electronic speckle pattern interferometry work?

answer: It uses laser light, together with video detection, recording, and processing to visualize static and dynamic displacements of components with optically rough surfaces. The visualisation is in the form of fringes on the image where each fringe normally represents a displacement of half a wavelength of the light used (i.e. quarter of a micrometre or so).

critique: The answer should mention the specific configuration.

question: What is electronic speckle pattern interferometry?

answer: Electronic speckle pattern interferometry is a technique that uses laser light, together with video detection, recording, and processing to visualize static and dynamic displacements of components with optically rough surfaces.

critique: "optically rough surfaces" - add a hyphen.


text:
BRYAN KEHL (born June 16, 1984) is an American football linebacker who is currently a free agent. He was drafted by the New York Giants in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He played college football at Brigham Young University (BYU).

He has also been a member of the St. Louis Rams, Washington Redskins, and Kansas City Chiefs.

Kehl's biological father, Maurice Turner, played in the NFL for four years.[1] Kehl's brother, Billy Turner plays Guard for the Green Bay Packers. Kehl's biological mother, Amy Smith, got pregnant in 1984 in college at Utah State, she loved Turner, but marriage was not in their plans. Smith decided to give up Kehl for adoption.

College career

As a freshman Bryan was recruited by Utah, Oregon, Utah State, Harvard, Yale, Penn, BYU, and Idaho State. He eventually decided to play his college ball at Brigham Young University in 2002 while majoring in mechanical engineering and business. He played his freshman year as a reserve right outside linebacker before taking time off from school and football to participate in an LDS Church mission to Toronto for two years. His freshman year, he recorded 14 tackles, 6 of which were solo tackles in 11 games. He also earned the “prep team defensive player of the week award” versus Utah State along with letterman honors. In 2005 when he returned for his second year of college, Bryan played in 11 games as a backup right outside linebacker. He recorded 30 tackles, 15 of which were solo and received letterman honors. Some of these tackles included 4 which were in the Las Vegas Bowl against California. He also blocked a punt that propelled BYU to its only score against Boston College.

In 2006 when Bryan was a junior, he started as BYU's weakside linebacker. This season he was ranked third on the team with 70 total tackles, 30 of which were solo and 8 tackles for a total loss. He also had three sacks, a recovered fumble, and led BYU linebackers during the season with 6 pass break-ups. He was an honorable mention All-Mountain West and Academic All-Mountain West Conference honors recipient. In 2007 as a senior, Kehl received First-team All-Mountain West Conference honors. He was named the team's defensive MVP, one of the captains, and earned the Strength and Conditioning Award. He ended his senior year with a career-high 91 tackles, 52 of which were solo. He put up 11.5 stops behind the line of scrimmage and caused and recovered a fumble during his senior year. He deflected four passes and had an interception in three consecutive games, one of which was returned for a touchdown.

Professional career

Pre-draft

  ----------------------------------------------------- -------- -------------- --------------- --------------- --------- --------- -------- ------------------ ------ -----------
                _Pre-draft measureables_
                         Height
                         6-2¼ **
   _* represents NFL Combine_ **represents BYU Pro Day
  ----------------------------------------------------- -------- -------------- --------------- --------------- --------- --------- -------- ------------------ ------ -----------

New York Giants

Kehl was selected in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft by the New York Giants. The Giants traded up (from 130 to 123 overall) by swapping picks with the Pittsburgh Steelers and giving up one of their sixth round picks (194 overall). He was placed second on the depth chart as weak side linebacker behind Gerris Wilkinson. Kehl made his first NFL start on October 26 for the injured Gerris Wilkinson when the Giants beat the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Bryan got his first interception of his NFL career in this game. He picked off Steeler's quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and ran it back for 17 yards.

Kehl was waived by the Giants on September 14, 2010.

St. Louis Rams

Kehl was claimed off waivers by the St. Louis Rams on September 15, 2010.

Washington Redskins

On April 23, 2012, Kehl signed with the Washington Redskins.[2] For the team's 3-4 defensive scheme, he switched from an outside linebacker to an inside linebacker to play a backup role to London Fletcher and Perry Riley.[3] Kehl was cut on August 31, 2012 for final cuts before the start of the 2012 season.[4]

Kansas City Chiefs

On October 2, 2012 Kehl was signed by the Chiefs. On November 27, 2012 Kehl was waived by the Chiefs after playing only 3 games for the team.

Second Stint with Redskins

On November 28, 2012, Kehl was claimed off waivers by the Redskins.[5] Set to be a free agent again for the 2013 season, the Redskins re-signed him to another one-year contract on March 14, 2013.[6] In the Week 6 game against the Dallas Cowboys, he tore the ACL in his left knee and was placed on injured reserve the next day.[7]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

title: Bryan Kehl

question: What does the text say about Bryan Kehl?

answer: Bryan Khel is an American football linebacker who is currently a free agent. He played college football at BYU and was later drafted by the New York Giants in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He played briefly with the St. Louis Rams, the Washington Redskins, and the Kansas City Chiefs and was claimed off waivers by the St. Louis Rams after being waived by the Giants in 2010. On the same year, he was signed to the Kansas City Chiefs where he only played for them for three games before being waived again. After several stints with different teams, he returned to the Washington Redskins where he signed another one-year contract but was placed on injured reserve after tearing his ACL in his left knee on Week 6 against the Dallas Cowboys.

critique: The answer should mention that Kehl's biological father and brother also played in the NFL.

critique: He signed with only one of the teams before being waived by both.

question: What does the text say about Kehl's college career?

answer: Kehl was recruited by Utah, Oregon, Utah State, Harvard, Yale, Penn, BYU, and Idaho State. He eventually decided to play his college ball at Brigham Young University in 2002 while majoring in mechanical engineering and business. He played his freshman year as a reserve right outside linebacker before taking time off from school and football to participate in an LDS Church mission to Toronto for two years. His freshman year, he recorded 14 tackles, 6 of which were solo tackles in 11 games. He also earned the "prep team defensive player of the week award" versus Utah State along with letterman honors. In 2005 when he returned for his second year of college, Bryan played in 11 games as a backup right outside linebacker. He recorded 30 tackles, 15 of which were solo and received letterman honors. Some of these tackles included 4 which were in the Las Vegas Bowl against California. He also blocked a punt that propelled BYU to its only score against Boston College.

critique: The answer should mention his junior and senior years.

text: This answer is too wordy. Several sentences could be cut out.

category: coherence

question: What does the text say about his teams?

answer: Kehl was drafted by the New York Giants in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He was waived by the Giants on September 14, 2010. He was claimed off waivers by the St. Louis Rams on September 15, 2010. He signed with the Washington Redskins on April 23, 2012. He was cut on August 31, 2012. He was signed by the Chiefs on October 2, 2012. He was waived by the Chiefs on November 27, 2012. He was claimed off waivers by the Redskins on November 28, 2012.

critique: The answer should mention his college teams.

question: What does the text say about Kehl's family?

answer: Kehl's biological father, Maurice Turner, played in the NFL for four years. Kehl's brother, Billy Turner, plays Guard for the Green Bay Packers. Kehl's biological mother, Amy Smith, got pregnant in 1984 in college at Utah State, she loved Turner, but marriage was not in their plans. Smith decided to give up Kehl for adoption.

critique: The answer should mention that Kehl's parents were not married.

critique: The answer should include that Kehl was adopted by a Mormon couple.


text:
The transit police officer severely wounded during the hunt for the men who planted bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon was discharged from the hospital on Friday, almost two months after the attack that stunned the nation.

Richard Donohue, 33, an officer with the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority, left the rehabilitation center where he has been recuperating for the past month. He was escorted by fellow officers as he left Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in the Charlestown neighborhood of Boston, according to video from the scene.

Donohue said he was inspired by exercising at the facility with some of the victims of the April 15 bombing.

“We’re all on the same track. We all want to get better,” he said. “We’re all working hard to do so.”

On crutches, Donohue told reporters that he was getting better and could walk a few steps with the help of a cane, but “I have a long way to go” to complete his recovery. The officer, who still has a bullet in his body, said he was hoping to have a bit more independence, sleep in a larger bed, cook and eventually return to work.

He also said he was looking forward to spending time with his pet dog and 7-month-old son.

“I swear, every time I see him, he’s got another tooth,” Donohue said of his son. “He has more teeth than me.”

On April 15, Patriots Day, two bombs, built out of pressure cookers, went off on Boylston Street near the finish line of the marathon. Three people were killed and more than 260 wounded.

On April 18, authorities using surveillance images identified Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, and his 19-year-old brother, Dzhokhar, as the suspects. They are of Chechen heritage. The identification of the brothers set off the biggest manhunt in the history of metropolitan Boston, which was essentially shut down during the search.

Later that day the suspects killed an MIT police officer, authorities said, in an attempt to steal the officer’s weapon. The suspects then carjacked a vehicle and fled to the suburb of Watertown, where a fierce gunfight between the suspects and police ensued. Officials have said that the suspects tossed crude explosives and opened fire with guns. Officials said hundreds of shots were fired.

Donohue was hit in the leg and seriously injured, though it remains unclear who fired the bullet that struck him. Police said they recovered one handgun at the scene.

Tamerlan Tsarnaev was injured in the shootout and was apparently run over by his brother fleeing in the car. Tamerlan was pronounced dead of what his death certificate said was “gunshot wounds of torso and extremities” and “blunt trauma to head and torso.”

The injured Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured on April 19, hiding in a boat in a backyard in Watertown. He faces federal charges of using a weapon of mass destruction. If convicted he could be sentenced to death.

Donohue on Friday told reporters that he doesn’t remember anything about the gun battle in which his femoral artery was severed. He has said in the past that it didn’t matter to him if he was a victim of friendly fire since officers were just doing their jobs during the deadly encounter with the brothers.

Among those accompanying Donohue as he left the center was transit police Chief Paul MacMillan, who said he was looking forward to having Donohue back on duty.

“It’s just a remarkable story that he is where he is today,” MacMillan said. “As soon as he’s ready, we’ve got a uniform for him and we’ll put him to work.”

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question: Summarize the aftermath of the Boston Marathon Bombing.

answer: A transit police officer was severely wounded during the hunt for two brothers who planted two bombs at the finish line of Boston Marathon. On the 19th, Dzhokhar was captured, and on the 20th, Tamerlan was pronounced dead of gunshot wounds. Dzhokhar faces federal charges.

critique: The answer should mention that Richard Donohue was injured in the shootout.

critique: The answer should mention that the officer was wounded during the gunfight.

critique: He was describing the aftermath. That is the question.

critique: The accuracy of the statements in this answer are not confirmed.

critique: The answer should mention that Richard Donohue was injured.

critique: The answer should mention that the officer was injured in the shootout.

critique: This response includes extraneous information not helpful to answering the question.

critique: The answer should mention the injured officer.

critique: The answer does not mention the death of a police officer.

critique: The answer should mention that Richard Donohue was injured in the gun battle.

critique: The answer should mention Richard Donohue.

critique: The answer misses to mention that the transit officer Richard Donohue was released from the hospital.

critique: It is omitted that Richard Donohue was injured during the shootout.

question: What does the article say about Richard Donohue's personality?

answer: He is a trained police officer, who wants to return to work as soon as he recovers because there is nothing to indicate he won't be a capable officer again.

critique: The answer should mention his optimism and sense of humor.

critique: The answer does not mention Donohue's good attitude.

critique: Wording suggests he's more committed to the job than wanting to return.

critique: He is also described as being optimistic and inspirational.

critique: I was able to define some of his other personality traits from the description of his speech and interests.

critique: The answer should mention that Donohue is a good person.

critique: This is not about his personality, but about his experience.

critique: It is omitted that he is a good sport and has a sense of humor.

critique: The answer misses to mention that Donohue said he was inspired by exercising at the facility with some of the victims of the April 15 bombing.

critique: The answer should mention his personality.

critique: The answer, while using many of the right words, is not the correct content of the passage, which mentions his dedication.

critique: The answer should mention his personality traits.

question: Summarize the motivation behind the attack.

answer: No answer

critique: There is a motivation behind the attack.

critique: No answer is provided because the motivation behind the attack is not discussed in the current text.

critique: It is omitted that the suspects could be sentenced to death if convicted.

critique: No answer is given because the motivation of the Tsarnaev brothers is not given in the article.

critique: The answer should include the motivation behind the attack.

question: Summary Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's role in the news story.

answer: The suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing, who are brothers (Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26 and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, 19) were captured. Dzhokhar was injured in the gunfight and arrested, being held in custody awaiting federal charges. Tamerlan was in the car and died from his injuries, referred to in the story as "blunt trauma to head and torso."

critique: Dzhokhar was injured in the gunfight and captured, not arrested

critique: The summary is too long and should be avoided.

critique: It is not Dzhokhar who is in custody awaiting federal charges but Tamerlan who is dead.

critique: "in the car and died" - change this to "on foot and was possibly killed by the brothers' fleeing vehicle in an attempt to avoid capture"

critique: It is omitted that Dzhokhar was the second suspect to be arrested and charged with the bombing.

critique: The suspects were identified after the bombing.

critique: The second sentence is incorrect, as Dzhokhar was the one in custody.

critique: The answer should mention that Dzhokhar was the second suspect to be arrested.

critique: The answer does not mention that Dzhokhar is the surviving brother.

critique: The passage pegs Dzhokhar as the suspect captured, not found dead

critique: The answer should mention that Dzhokhar was the one who was captured.

critique: "Tamerlan was in the car and died from his injuries, referred to in the story as "blunt trauma to head and torso." - this is not mentioned in the article. Tamerlan was pronounced dead of "gunshot wounds of torso and extremities" and blunt trauma to head and torso.


text:
TIFFANY is a neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri. It is located on the western side of Grand Boulevard along the section containing St. Louis University's Medical Complex. The neighborhood is defined by Chouteau Avenue on the North, Interstate 44 on the South, Grand Boulevard on the East, and 39th Street on the West.[1]

History

The Tiffany neighborhood, as well as present day Shaw and Botanical Heights neighborhoods, were originally part of the common fields laid out by the French stretching west of Grand.

These included the Cul-de-Sac Common, the St. Louis Common to the North and the Prairie des Noyers which was laid out in 1769, to the South. During this early period, Grand Boulevard was far beyond the edge of the settlement of St. Louis.

By the 1860s, much of the northern area, including what is now the Tiffany neighborhood, had become the property of Mrs. Mary McRee. Except for a few houses on the perimeter streets, most of the land was made up of meadows and cornfields. Some industry had begun to develop towards the railroads to the north and in McRee City (now Forest Park Southwest), but for the most part the area remained undeveloped.

This began to change in 1888 when Mary McRee sold her land to a developer. Dundee Place was developed in 1889 after Colonel Thomas A. Scott purchased it from William McRee for $448,000. It covered an area of and a portion of this tract was subdivided by Mrs. Mary McRee and named “McRee City.” In 1869 a large subdivision, called McRee City was developed by Mrs. Mary McRee, widow of Colonel Samuel McRee, who died in the cholera epidemic of 1849. McRee's subdivision was timed to take advantage of the arrival of horsecarriage lines in the Shaw neighborhood and the presence of the Pacific Railroad which had been laid along the northern edge of the area in the 1850s.

With the completion of the Grand Avenue Viaduct in 1890 and electrified streetcar lines by the turn of the century, the area was transformed into a middle-class commuter suburb. The Tiffany neighborhood takes its name for one of these streetcar lines, called the Tiffany line, which connected transit offices and shops at 39th Street, then called Tiffany Street, and Park with Chouteau Avenue.[2]

Demographics

In 2010 Tiffany's racial makeup was 84.1% Black, 10.8% White, 0.4% Native American, 2.3% Asian, 2.0% Two or More Races, and 0.6% Some Other Race. 1.4% of the people were of Hispanic or Latino origin.[3]

  Racial composition                 2010[4]   2000[5]
  ---------------------------------- --------- ---------
  White                              10.8%     12.2%
  Black or African American          84.1%     83.1%
  Hispanic or Latino (of any race)   1.4%      0.8%
  Asian                              2.3%      2.8%

[1] Neighborhood Data Profile for Tiffany

[2] Tiffany Neighborhood History

[3] http://dynamic.stlouis-mo.gov/census/neigh_comp.cfm

[4]

[5]

title: Tiffany, St. Louis

question: What does the text say about life in Tiffany, St. Louis?

answer: No answer

critique: The article does give some information about life in Tiffany, St. Louis.

critique: The answer should mention the neighborhood's racial makeup.

text: It is omitted that except for a few houses on the perimeter streets, most of the land was made up of meadows and cornfields. Some industry had begun to develop towards the railroads to the north and in McRee City (now Forest Park Southwest), but for the most part the area remained undeveloped. with the completion of the Grand Avenue Viaduct in 1890 and electrified streetcar lines by the turn of the century, the area was transformed into a middle-class commuter suburb.

question: What does the text say about Tiffany, St. Louis in the present?

answer: Tiffany is a neighborhood of St. Louis, Missouri. It is located on the western side of Grand Boulevard along the section containing St. Louis University's Medical Complex. The neighborhood is defined by Chouteau Avenue on the North, Interstate 44 on the South, Grand Boulevard on the East, and 39th Street on the West.

critique: The answer should mention the demographics of Tiffany.

critique: The answer should mention the demographics of the neighborhood.

critique: Information found in the first paragraph should be removed.

critique: The answer should go into more detail about the neighborhood's demographics.

critique: The answer should mention the racial makeup of the neighborhood.

critique: It is omitted that the neighborhood is defined by Chouteau Avenue on the North, Interstate 44 on the South, Grand Boulevard on the East, and 39th Street on the West.

question: What does the text say about Tiffany's history?

answer: Tiffany was originally part of the common fields laid out by the French stretching west of Grand. The neighborhood and present-day Shaw and Botanical Heights neighborhoods were originally part of the common fields. The Tiffany neighborhood was originally part of the common fields laid out by the French stretching west of Grand.

critique: The last sentence is redundant and should be removed.

critique: These fields stretched far beyond the present-day Tiffany neighborhood. The surroundings are irrelevant

critique: Went over the edge with repeating the same thing twice.

critique: The second sentence is unnecessary and redundant.

text: It is omitted that by the 1860s, the area had become the property of Mrs. Mary McRee. Most part the area remained undeveloped untill 1888 when Mary McRee sold her land to a developer. With the completion of the Grand Avenue Viaduct in 1890 and electrified streetcar lines by the turn of the century, the area was transformed into a middle-class commuter suburb. The Tiffany neighborhood takes its name for one of these streetcar lines, called the Tiffany line, which connected transit offices and shops at 39th Street, then called Tiffany Street, and Park with Chouteau Avenue.

question: What does the text say about Mrs. Mary McRee?

answer: Mrs. Mary McRee was the original owner of much of the northern area of present-day Tiffany. She sold her land to a developer in 1888. The Tiffany neighborhood takes its name for one of the streetcar lines, Tiffany line, which connected transit offices and shops at 39th Street, then called Tiffany Street, and Park with Chouteau Avenue.

critique: "The Tiffany neighborhood takes its name for one of the streetcar lines, Tiffany line, which connected transit offices and shops at 39th Street, then called Tiffany Street, and Park with Chouteau Avenue." - extraneous information that should be deleted.

critique: The answer omits mentioning that Mrs. Mary McRee sold her land to a developer in 1888.

critique: The answer should mention that Mrs. Mary McRee was the widow of Colonel Samuel McRee.

critique: The answer should mention that Mrs. McRee sold her land to a developer.

critique: The second sentence is irrelevant to the question.

critique: Remove extraneous information-that relating to the name of the Tiffany street line.

critique: The answer should mention that Mrs. Mary McRee sold her land to a developer in 1888.

critique: The Tiffany line connection is irrelevant.

text: It is omitted that in 1869, a large subdivision, called McRee City was developed by Mrs. Mary McRee. The subdivision was timed to take advantage of the arrival of horsecarriage lines in the Shaw neighborhood and the presence of the Pacific Railroad which had been laid along the northern edge of the area in the 1850s.


text:
So this girl has this crazy idea that trees will evolve to kill us. This was my response:

You forget by the time the trees evolve to kill us we will just have like crazy laser shooting mechanized lumberjacks. It will be all out war...

**The Herbivites**

The lumberjacks in there smokey loud vehicles destroyed the forest covered landscape at an very alarming rate. Burning and cutting there way through. The trees were getting slaughtered. It was a god damn extermination(pardon my french =S.) It wasn't until the trees observed the once fleshy humans living unscathed in there massive metal machines. Watching there brothers die and there enemy's conquer with no lacerations or casualty's spawned a massive idea to echo throughout the global root network.

The trees used there extensive root system to lay out a perfect mapping of the battle fields enemy locations and geological data. The lumberjacks were so noisy and there vibrations could be felt from thousands of feet away.

It was a sunny day, the forest was still glistening with morning dew. A legion of scouts flew out from underneath the trees, mist spraying in there wake. Headed directly for the lumberjacks largest battalion.

They circled the lumberjacks round and round. The lumberjacks targeting systems couldn't keep up with the tumbleweeds unbridled charge. Most of the lumberjack army converged on the tumbleweed. There numbers were so large the lumberjacks saw it as an opportunity to make them extinct. They saw immeasurable profit in this as tumbleweeds were the fastest of the herbivites. And previously were alerting the other herbivites of the lumberjack advancements.

The lumberjacks grew enraged at there lack of kills. They kept burning there fuel faster and faster. The trees also observed the odd and disgusting smoke coming out of there machines earlier and saw the machine was only outputting matter. Not taking any in. The trees knew it couldn't last forever.

Out of the forest and into the canyon. The tumbleweeds sped faster and faster across the endless rocky dessert terrain. The lumberjacks were convinced this was every tumbleweed on the planet. They were right, but they forgot about the trees.

The redwoods layed themselves down. There arms were weak but there mass was amazing. The redwoods were then strapped large flat rocks held together by massive jungle vines. The ash trees made quick work with there brothers so as not to prolong there pain. The mighty oaks approached the edge of the cliff rolling the red woods closer and closer into battle.

One final push and the redwoods could not be stopped. Redwood after redwood rolled over the lip. One continued assault that lasted for 5 minutes straight. By the time it was all over there was a massive land bridge of redwood. thousands of lumberjacks lay at the bottom. If they were not killed in the assault they screamed and cried for there wife's and children. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. The trees joined forces on top of the bridge and mourned the redwoods sacrifice.

Some jacks were still alive stuck under millions of pounds of rocks and wood. "This is captain Jon Miller.... RESPOND"! The radio chirped in "eerrrraraarrhh hheeeeeeeeeiiiiiip". "Son I know I know but I need you to fire up your weapons system if its operational...". "sir"? "Can't you feel that. They are on top of us right now adding more and more weight. The assault is over lets burn these herbivites and show them who will always be on top."

(Totally just realized I have no idea how to format dialogue while writing.)

The smoke rose up through the cracks of the redwoods. The herbivites cheered at the release of there souls. It grew hotter and hotter and the trees danced and danced.

Thud Thud Thud. Every step billowing the fire. It burned faster and faster. Gaining more and more oxygen to burn. The trees dancing harder and harder so happy in there victory. So joyous to bath in there brothers ashes.

A monstrous cracking sound boomed from underneath the trees. The whole stack dropped dizzying amount. Over 3/4th of the herbivites lay stuck on the pile. Many limbs were lost. The herbivites now realized what was happening. They fell victim to there own celebration and were now going to join there brothers in the largest die off in the history of earth.

They screamed and prayed for justice. Some jumped and fell to the desert floor where the bodies splintered and exploded. Surely a more instant death then being burned from root to leaf.

The surviving herbivites watched on as there brothers burn up in agony. They decided to try and contact the lumberjacks. That is if there were any remaining. The willows lead the trees to the humans in the most calming ways.

There was a need for calm. The willows came up with the idea of trying to communicate with the lumberjacks. They had used there roots to break into a computer. They felt its electric pulse. 1's and 0's 1's and 0's. They thought how could a language consist of only 2 states? 2 words?

It didn't take them long to figure out the answer. Yes and No. The most basic of communication. So they recruited the potatoes for there electrical charge in a attempt to reason with the lumberjacks.(That's right freaking potato phone baby!)

And so the willows marched into St. Paul and head straight for the capital. They wired up the potatoes and rigged it up to a giant walmart sign. The potatoes figured out how to control there energy output. This would dim the light on an off. The willows connected to the potatoes root system orchestrated the whole thing.

Flashing the light on and off on and off. Walking straight towards the capital. The humans stood in wonder and awe. They previously thought the herbivites were only hostile. They saw higher intelligence in that one flash of light then any other creature has ever demonstrated in history. It was baffling how fast the herbivites advanced and adapted.

The willows arrived at the lawn on the capital. Jesse Ventura stood on the roof(on account of marshal law... And predator.) He screamed as loudly as he could. "WE WANT TO LEAAARRRN".

The wallmart sign lit up. The willows bowed there leaves. General Ventura ordered one of the few remaining lumberjack mechanized assault vehicles to jump up and down in morse code.

- .... .. ... / .. ... / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . / -.-- --- ?

The trees responded with the light flickering on and off.

- --- / .-.. .- --.. -.-- / - --- / .-. .. --. .... - / -.. .. .- .-.. --- --. ..- . / .... . .-. .

The trees figured it out instantly. Ventura stood amazed. World peace was announced. The humans would only use metal for construction from now on no matter how high the cost. The herbivites returned to rest in there woods. They will be here for a long time.

The End.

title: [SF] The Herbivites

question: What does the story say about the attack of the flowers?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the attack of the flowers is not mentioned.

question: Summarize the main conflict of the story.

answer: Flesh-eating humans clear out trees in order to build houses. The trees grow angry and devise a plan to kill the humans. The humans retaliate and a tree-themed war breaks out until one side (the humans) is defeated

critique: The conflict is not about humans eating trees. It is about humans cutting down trees.

text: The response is incorrect. The humans were "fleshy humans", not "flesh-eating humans" and they won the war against the trees.

category: accuracy

question: What does the story say about the Herbivites?

answer: The Herbivites are a species of trees that live in the forest. They are the main characters of the story and are the ones who try to kill the humans. The Herbivites are very intelligent and can communicate with each other through their root system. They are also able to use their root system to break into computers. The Herbivites are also able to use their root system to control the electrical system of a potato. The Herbivites are able to use their root system to create a bridge to cross over to the humans' side. The Herbivites are also able to use their root system to control the electrical system of a walmart sign.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The story doesn't say the Herbivites are the main characters.

critique: The answer should mention the truce between the humans and the Herbivites.

question: What does the story say about Jesse Ventura?

answer: Jesse Ventura is the General of the lumberjacks. He is the one who orders the lumberjacks to attack the trees. He is also the one who makes peace with the trees.

critique: The answer should mention that Jesse Ventura was the one who makes peace with the trees.

critique: The answer should mention that Ventura is the one who communicates with the trees.

critique: Ventura does not order any specific attack. This sentence is false.

critique: Jesse Ventura isn't the General of the lumberjacks. He is the General of the humans.

critique: Jesse Ventura is not the General of the lumberjacks.

critique: Jesse Ventura is not the General of the lumberjacks. He is the General of the humans.

critique: The answer should mention that Ventura is the one who makes peace with the trees.


text:
NATHALIE DJURBERG (born 1978 in Lysekil) is a Swedish video artist who lives and works in Berlin.

Life and work

Djurberg is best known for producing claymation short films that are faux-naïve, but graphically violent and erotic.[1] Their main characters, as described by The New York Times, “are girls or young women engaged in various kinds of vileness: from mild deception, friendly torture and oddly benign bestiality to murder and mayhem.”[2] The films are accompanied by music by Hans Berg. She began making her own unique style of Claymation in 2001 and in 2004 she worked closely together with Berg to make narratives rich with symbolism that also often had humorous aspects to it.[3]

Natalie Djurberg's artistic animations introduce the viewer into a world of miniaturized, disfigured, mutilated and often grotesque animals. The human beings are transformed into caricatured figures. Some of Djurberg's notable works are: _New Movements in Fashion_ (2006), _The natural Selection_ (2006), _Turn into Me_ (2008), _I Found Myself Alone_ (2008) and _Hungry, Hungry Hippoes_ (2007).[4]

Djurberg's works have been shown at Performa 2007, at Tate Britain (2007), at the P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center in New York (2006) and at the Berlin Biennial of Contemporary Art (2006). They were also featured at solo shows at the Kunsthalle Wien (2007) and at Färgfabriken in Stockholm (2006). In 2008, she exhibited both installations and films at the Fondazione Prada in Milan.[5] Djurberg was awarded the Silver Lion for a Promising New Artist at the Venice Biennale in 2009.[6] In 2011, the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis organized and exhibited _The Parade: Nathalie Djurberg with Music by Hans Berg_, which traveled to the New Museum in New York (2012) and Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco (2012–2013).[7][8]

In 2012 at the new museum Djurberg’s installation included life-size sculptures of over eighty birds: pelicans, flamingos, turkeys, eagles, a dodo, and a snowy owl. These large pieces were made of wire, foam, silicone, painted fabric, and clay. The birds were depicted raising their wings, twisted their necks, and groomed each other. Many of them opened their mouths ferociously.[9] In 2020, her “Crocodile, egg, man”, created together with Berg, sold for 16,3 million SEK, a record sum for a contemporary Swedish work of art.[10]

Nathalie Djurberg is represented by Giò Marconi and Lisson Gallery.

Education

From 1994 to 1995, Djurberg received a Basic Art Education from the Folkuniversitetet in Göteborg. She attended the Hovedskous Art School in Göteborg from 1995 to 1997. During Djurberg’s schooling in Hovedskous she primarily focused on painting. Her painting skills are proven with the way her plasticine figures are modeled – her prowess gives her figures gestural expressionism.[11] Djurberg received her Master's degree from Malmö Art Academy in 2002.

Selected exhibitions

-   2005 Giò Marconi, Milano
-   2006 Zach Feuer Gallery in New York City[12]
-   2006 Färgfabriken|Färgfabriken - Center for Contemporary Art and Architecture, Stockholm
-   2006 Maxxi Museum, Rome
-   2007 Kunsthalle Wien
-   2007 Kunsthalle Winterthur
-   2008 Fondazione Prada, Milano
-   2011 Walker Art Center, Minneapolis
-   2012 CCC Strozzina, Firenze

Clay animation and digital videos

-   _Camels Drink Water_ (2007; 3:47 min.), Edition of 4, music by Hans Berg
-   _We are not two, we are one_ (2008; 5:33 min.), Edition of 4, music by Hans Berg
-   _Turn into me_ (2008; 7:10 min.), Edition of 4, music by Hans Berg

Awards

-   2009 Silver Lion of Biennale di Venezia for _Experimentet_[13]
-   2007 Carnegie Art Award 2007, Museum of Contemporary Art Kiasma, Helsinki[14]

[1]

[2]

[3]  Artists {{!}} Lisson Gallery|website=www.lissongallery.com|language=en|access-date=2017-04-27}}

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12] http://www.zachfeuer.com/nathaliedjurberg.html

[13]

[14]

title: Nathalie Djurberg

question: Summarize the themes of Djurberg's work.

answer: The main characters of Djurberg's work are often said to embody conflict and harmony in life (animals). Oftentimes, her animation can detail the complexities of life and move the viewer to reflect on their own lives. Djurberg's work also often has rounded imagery, which may deal with any number of themes. Most of Djurberg's characters often have bloody, gory, and brutual reactions to outside influence, such as with the music or external factors that plague them and cause their reactions to become violent and extreme.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: "The main characters of Djurberg's work are often said to embody conflict and harmony in life (animals). Oftentimes, her animation can detail the complexities of life and move the viewer to reflect on their own lives. Djurberg's work also often has rounded imagery, which may deal with any number of themes. Most of Djurberg's characters often have bloody, gory, and brutual reactions to outside influence, such as with the music or external factors that plague them and cause their reactions to become violent and extreme." - this is inaccurate. The details in the answer are not found anywhere in the article.

critique: This is about the visual aspect of Djurberg's work, not the themes

critique: The film animation "Turn Into Me" is not violent in any way and it is not extreme in any sense of the word.

critique: There is no evidence provided that "say life."

critique: The response is entirely inaccurate and made up

critique: The source didn't say anything about the violent and brutal reaction often being to outside influence.

critique: This response is not a summary of the themes of Djurberg's work.

critique: "Djurberg's work also often has rounded imagery, which may deal with any number of themes." - this is incorrect and should be removed. The "animals" mentioned in the first sentence are a metaphor for humanity. The themes are not rounded imagery, but the brutality of humanity. The first sentence should be replaced with the main themes of Djurberg's work.

critique: The response is not related to the question.

question: What does the passage say about Djurberg's collaborators?

answer: Hans Berg is Djurberg's frequent collaborator. She has also worked closely with Alison Knowles and Hans Berg.

critique: Djurberg worked with Alison Knowles and Hans Berg.

critique: The answer should mention the Walker Art Center.

critique: It is omitted that Djurberg's work is also accompanied by music by Hans Berg.

critique: Alison Knowles is not mentioned in the passage.

critique: The answer should mention the other collaborators.

critique: There is no source in the article that states Djurberg has worked with Alison Knowles or Hans Mauch, the co-founder of Fassbindert, the publishing house that prints Djurberg's art books.

critique: This is incorrect. Djurberg did not work with Alison Knowles. Djurberg was awarded the Silver Lion for a Promising new Artist at the Venice Biennale in 2009.

critique: "She has also worked closely with Alison Knowles and Hans Berg." - the passage doesn't say this. The text only mentions Djurberg working closely with Berg. The model must delete this response.

critique: The answer should mention the artists Djurberg has worked with.

critique: The answer should mention the other artists Djurberg has worked with.

critique: The information is wrong. Djurberg has worked closely with Hans Berg on her films.

question: What does the passage say about Swedish art history?

answer: No answer

critique: The response misses to mention that Djurberg's works have been shown at Performa 2007, at Tate Britain (2007), at the P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center in New York (2006) and at the Berlin Biennial of Contemporary Art (2006). They were also featured at solo shows at the Kunsthalle Wien (2007) and at Färgfabriken in Stockholm (2006). In 2008, she exhibited both installations and films at the Fondazione Prada in Milan.

critique: The answer is an inaccurate answer. It is the opposite of what the passage says in this information. It is incorrect to say that it says nothing.

critique: The question is not answered, but Swedish art history is mentioned with regards to Djurberg.

critique: There is no requirement for this question in the question.

critique: The answer should discuss the history of Swedish art.

critique: The passage does not discuss Swedish art history.

question: What does the passage say about Djurberg's influences?

answer: No answer

critique: The article includes a mention of Djurberg's interest in painting and mastery of plasticine, which could be seen as an influence on her claymation style.

critique: No response is required because there is no information in the text regarding influences.

critique: No answer is given because the question is not answered in the passage.

critique: For confirmation of this, check the inferences listed in "Influences".

critique: The text does not mention any influences.

critique: Does not mention that the films are accompanied by music by Hans Berg.

critique: The response misses to mention that Djurberg's influences are not mentioned in the passage.


text:
…says sustaining Osun as most peaceful State in Nigeria non-negotiable

The Governor of the State of Osun, Adegboyega Oyetola, has inaugurated Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps Board, and the Independent Complaints Board as part of the administration’s efforts to further guarantee the security of lives and property of the citizens.

The two boards were inaugurated to complement the efforts of the conventional security agencies in the quest to build a virile and healthy security architecture in the State.

Oyetola said the initiative would go a long way at maintaining and sustaining the security status of Osun as the most peaceful state in Nigeria.

The Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps Board, and the Amotekun Independent Complaints Board are products of the Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps (Establishment ) Law 2020 created to ensure fair and effective administration, implementation and operation of the security outfit.

They will collaborate with the conventional security agencies to ensure fair and absolute security of the State by complementing the conventional security agencies to stop the incidents of rape, illegal mining, possible banditry, kidnapping and other crimes which sometime crept into the state as a result of the deplorable security situation in the country.

The Governor said, “In line with our resolve, we have adopted proactive and creative measures to deliver security to our people by collaborating with the military, the Police and other security agencies when the raging security situation in the nation was having adverse effect on our security profile.

“Our ultimate solution to the situation was the collaboration with our sister States in the South West who share the same territories and destiny with us to found the Amotekun Corps to police and secure the region and deliver peace to our people.

“It is our hope that the Osun Security Network Agency and the Amotekun Corps will offer improved security of lives and property and close the gaps created by the obvious overstretching of the conventional security agencies, while the Amotekun Independent Complaints Board will act as checks and balances for the activities of the Corps personnel.”

Charging the leadership of the newly-inaugurated boards on the need to champion fairness, patriotism and honesty in the discharge of their duties, Oyetola urged them to see their emergence as a call to service, particularly at a time when security of life and property as well as the economic situation of the state is precarious and requires selflessness, patriotism and utmost dedication to lead the state to peace and prosperity.

“As distinguished professionals who have given their best to the State and the nation at both good and trying times, I have no doubt that we have called unto the deep and the best of us to keep us at this challenging time.

“We are confident that, as co-managers of Osun security, you will do your utmost to secure the lives and property of the people and sustain the status of Osun as the most peaceful state in Nigeria. The Government and the People of Osun are also looking up to you to provide a peaceful environment for the successful implementation of the Development Agenda that will, among others, attract massive investment to the State, revolutionise the economy and deliver sustainable development.

“I must at this juncture implore you to lead a trained, disciplined, loyal and committed corps that has a human face to collaborate with other security agencies within and outside the State to secure our people.

“Let me remind us all as Osun people that Amotekun is our baby and that making it work is a collective responsibility. I therefore urge you all to collaborate with the bodies that we are inaugurating today by providing useful information and offering other necessary support in our collective interest,” Oyetola urged.

The 15-member Osun Security Network and Amotekun Corps Board is chaired by General Ademola Aderibigbe (rtd.) while Justice Moshood Adeigbe (rtd.) would serve as the Chairman of the three-man Amotekun Independent Complaints Board respectively.

The newly-inaugurated Board comprises General Ademola Aderibigbe (rtd.) as the Chairman; General Bashir Adewinbi as Corps Commander; Comrade Amitolu Shittu, Field Commander; Hassan Taiwo Agbelekale, Secretary and Legal Adviser to the Board; Mrs. Abiodun Ige, Special Adviser to the Governor on Security and Dr. Seyi Atanda of the Security Trust Fund.

Others are the State Commissioner of Police or his Representative; Commander (ECC Ede) or his Representative; Director DSS or his Representative; Commandant (NSCDC) or his Representative; Orangun of Oke Ila, Oba Adedokun Abolarin; Olufi of Gbongan, Oba Adetoyese Oyeniyi; Olubosin of Ifetedo, Oba Akinola Akinrera; Philips Olufemi Olubowale, (CDA West); Elder James Oni (CDA East) and Bayo Oyekanmi (CDA Central).

Members of the Independent Amotekun Complaints Board are Justice Moshood Adeigbe (rtd.) as Chairman; Mr. Bankole Awoyemi and Mrs. Ajibola Olaide Alade.

In their separate remarks, the Chairman, Osun Security Network and Amotekun Corps Board, General Ademola Aderibigbe (rtd.) and the Chairman of the three-man Amotekun Independent Complaints Board, pledged to put in their best to justify the confidence reposed in them to serve the State.

The duo promised to raise the bar of security architecture in the state, noting that with their emergence, the State would be safer than before.

Those in attendance were the Deputy Governor, Benedict Alabi; two former Speakers of Osun House of Assembly, Professor Mojeed Alabi and Hon. Adejare Bello; Secretary to the State Government, Prince Wole Oyebamiji; Chief of Staff to the Governor, Dr. Charles Akinola; Deputy Chief of Staff, Prince Abdullahi Binuyo; Head of Service, Dr. Festus Olowogboyega Oyebade; members of the Cabinet; and traditional rulers led by Orangun of Oke-Ila, Oba Adedokun Abolarin, among others.

question: What does the article say about efforts to increase security?

answer: Oyetola has initiated the Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps Board to fight against crimes such as rape, illegal mining, potential banditry, kidnapping, and other crimes. He has also established an Independent Complaints Board to act as a check on the Corps.

critique: The answer should mention the efforts that are being made to increase security.

critique: "Oyetola has initiated the Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps Board to fight against crimes such as rape, illegal mining, potential banditry, kidnapping, and other crimes." - this is not the reason for the establishment of the two boards. Replace with the reason for the establishment of the two boards.

critique: Amotekun is also a security force in the state. Include this in the response as well.

critique: There is no evidence that the Independent Complaints Board acts as a check on the Corps.

critique: The answer should include why this effort is necessary, include an overview of the previous challenges Osun has faced with regard to security, and include the governor's perspectives about what these forces will do for the state's security.

critique: The answer could mention the security situation in Nigeria.

critique: It's omitted that Oyetola also established the Osun Security Network Agency and the Amotekun Corps Board to complement the efforts of conventional security agencies.

critique: The answer should include the board's goal of sustaining Osun as the most peaceful state in Nigeria.

critique: The answer should mention that the two boards were inaugurated to complement the efforts of the conventional security agencies.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The answer should mention the collaboration with other security agencies.

critique: Doesn't mention his collaboration with sister states.

critique: It is omitted that the board is meant to complement the conventional security agencies.

critique: The answer omits that the government is collaborating with other security agencies.

text: "Initiated" is awkwardly worded; replace it with "inaugurated"

refinement: Oyetola has initiated the Osun Security Network Agency and Amotekun Corps Board to fight against crimes such as rape, illegal mining, potential banditry, kidnapping, and other crimes. He has also established an Independent Complaints Board to act as a check on the Corps.


text:
“Are you alright?” The voice seemed distant. “Are you alright?” The voice repeated, this time it seemed much closer. I slowly opened my eyes. The sun was coming up, it was blinding, and it really hurt in the eyes.

I had an awful tang of blood and puke in the back of my throat. My sight started coming back, at first it was all very dizzy and confusion. Where was I anyway and why was this man talking to me?
“You can’t sleep it out here, go home and clean yourself up. You got blood on your shirt boy”. I could finally locate the voice; it came from a man dressed all in whites. He seemed to be wearing a white coat, maybe he was a baker. I think there was flour on the coat.

My surroundings started becoming clearer; I seemed to be lying in a small backyard on a wooden bench. No wonder my back hurt so badly… And my head – my head hurt so badly that I felt it could explode any second. How much did I drink last night? How in the world did I end up in a baker’s backyard and why was my shirt covered in blood? Thousand thought went through my skull.
“Get out of here I said!” a belligerent remark, the baker started getting really grouchy. I tried sitting up, there was a sting of pain in my left ribs. Had I been in a fight last night? Why couldn’t I remember anything?

Small flashbacks containing a glimpse of last night showed themselves for my inner eye.
Noise, screams and blood. Glimpse of a skinhead punching me, why had I been fighting a skinhead? I lifted the shirt up; there were no wounds to be found. The only lesion was a huge bruise on the ribs. It had to be the skinhead’s blood then.
I finally pulled myself together, and tried standing up. My legs were unstable and I became completely disoriented, my vision started fading into black. I felt back down on the bench. My senses regained their strength. Tried one more time and got up without losing my balance completely this time. I started walking slowly out the backyard, without ever saying a word to the baker.

“Boy, you forgot your phone” He said. I looked back; he stood there holding an old Sony Ericsson, it was a phone alright, but it wasn’t mine. Where was my phone, I couldn’t feel it in my pocket, searched it quickly with my right hand. It wasn’t there. Well it was probably me who had left the black Sony Ericsson here, and maybe it could put some light on last night’s endeavours. So I went and fetched it from the baker, thanked him and walked towards the street.
A red Citroën C3 passed by, they turned their head, but who wouldn’t when you see a boy covered in blood at six in the morning, besides from that car the street was abandoned. I didn’t recognize the exact street, but I figured I had to be closed to the club we were at last night.
I felt sick, had a rising urge to vomit. I started walking down the street in direction I thought I lived. Pulled up the phone and started going through last sent messages.

[4:45] {Where are you, help? Some dude punched me, pushed him into the wall. Hit it with head. Blood everywhere}

How I had managed to write anything readable in my condition was a mystery. And more import, what had happened to that skinhead, had I killed him? I skimmed through the next text.

[4.54] {I think he's okay, could not call ambulance. His friends came after me.}
[4.55] {I hid in a yard, can you help me?}

There were no incoming messages. Who had I addressed these texts to anyway; I couldn’t have any numbers in this stolen phone. I looked at the number, I had clearly tried to dial my friend Peter, but the number was one figure too short... What a fool I’d been.
Guess I fell asleep while hiding in the yard. I started feeling dizzy again. I had to put my hand against the wall to keep myself from falling.
Oh God, I will never drink again I thought to myself, but it seemed that I had said that before and look how it turned out. Just an ordinary Saturday in my ordinary life.

title: Hangovers

question: Summarize the themes throughout this story.

answer: Themes include survival, determination, and experience.

critique: It should be mentioned that the theme of drinking is a recurring one.

critique: It misses to specifically indicate how the narrator classifies experience.

critique: A theme should be included for redemption for all these things happening to the drinker.

critique: The answer should include the themes of alcoholism and underage drinking.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's drinking problem.

critique: The answer is vague and can be improved. For example, the theme of drinking alcohol.

critique: "Themes include survival, determination, and experience." - this doesn't make sense. Replace "experience" with "regret" or "alcohol" or a more appropriate answer.

critique: There's no evidence that suggests the three themes are the themes in the story.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that the story is about survival, determination, and experience. Instead, the story is about drinking and the hangover that follows.

critique: Themes also include self-reflection and regret.

critique: This response is not specific and includes an undeserved theme.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that the story is about survival, determination, and experience.

critique: Themes include survival, determination, experience, and alcoholism.

question: Summarize how the narrator's reactions change throughout the story.

answer: When he first wakes up, he has a headache and a feeling of nausea. He begins to take in his surroundings and he realizes that he is outside a baker's backyard. He then starts to feel pain in his ribs, realizing that there is a bruise there from getting punched. The next time he tries to get up, his legs are unstable. From this point on, he starts to regain his strength, yet each time that he tries to get up, he has to feel sturdy.

critique: The narrator recovers from all of these injuries in the end, with the exception of the headache, though he wants to and has decided never to drink again.

critique: The narrator is not outside the baker's backyard. He is in the backyard of the baker.

critique: "yet each time that he tries to get up, he has to feel sturdy." - it was the first time he tried to get up, which was the first in the story. Deleting this part will yield a more accurate sentence.

critique: It is omitted that he starts to feel sick and goes to the street in search of his home.

critique: The last part of the answer is wrong. The narrator does not regain his strength, but his senses do.

critique: The response could include more details about the narrator's feelings.

critique: The last sentence doesn't quite make sense.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator starts becoming more aware of his surroundings.

critique: The narrator's reactions do not change throughout the story.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator is in pain with the sun shining on his eyes.

critique: The narrator's headache and nausea are not a result of his first waking up. They are a result of the hangover he is experiencing after a night of drinking.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator's headache and nausea disappear after he gets up and starts walking.

critique: It's omitted that when the narrator wakes up, he cannot remember how he got there and why his shirt is covered in blood.

critique: The narrator's reactions don't change throughout the story.

critique: The narrator's legs are not unstable the second time he tries to get up.

critique: The narrator's reactions are not described in the story.

question: Based on the information in the story, what will the narrator's next steps be?

answer: He will search for the phone's owner and after apologies or compensation, he'll go home and clean himself up of his blood, puke and hangover.

critique: The answer is not clear about what the narrator will do next.

critique: The narrator will not be looking for the phone's owner.

critique: The narrator will go home, not search for the phone's owner.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

critique: The answer is not clear about what the narrator will do after he cleans himself up.

critique: "He will search for the phone's owner and after apologies or compensation, he'll go home and clean himself up of his blood, puke and hangover." - this is incorrect because the narrator is never able to find the phone's owner.

critique: The phone doesn't go home with the narrator.

critique: The answer assumes that the protagonist talked to the owner of the phone. This is not the case.

critique: The phone is not the phone of the owner, but the narrator's own.

critique: There is no mention of the phone's owner.

critique: The answer states that the narrator will go home and clean himself up, however the story does not mention this.

critique: The answer is incorrect and doesn't mention the narrator's intentions.

critique: It is not stated that the narrator will look for the owner of the phone.

critique: This is a guess and not supported by the text.

text: The story doesn't explicitly say what he will do next but it implies that he may try to go home.

refinement: He will search for the phone's owner and after apologies or compensation, he'll go home and clean himself up of his blood, puke and hangover.

question: Summarize the surprises in the story.

answer: One is that the narrator seems to be in some sort of brawl. The other twists and turns in the story when the "police" leading the narrator to a murder scene in the end (at least from a police point of view).

critique: The first sentence is incorrect. The narrator isn't at a brawl but rather wakes up in a backyard with blood on his shirt.

critique: "One is that the narrator seems to be in some sort of brawl. The other twists and turns in the story when the "police" leading the narrator to a murder scene in the end (at least from a police point of view)." - the police were never mentioned, and the text doesn't reveal the narrator's whereabouts.

critique: The narrator is not taken to a murder scene.

critique: "One is that the narrator seems to be in some sort of brawl" - this is an idiom, subtract it.

critique: "The other twists and turns in the story when the "police" leading the narrator to a murder scene in the end" - this is inaccurate. The police aren't involved in the story.

critique: The narrator does not seem to be in any sort of brawl.

critique: The narrator is not surprised by the police, and there is no mention of the police in the story.

critique: The narrator doesn't kill the man, but he believes he has because he couldn't call an ambulance.

critique: The response is not related to the question.

critique: The narrator does not go about getting into a brawl, he gets into a fight with a skinhead.

critique: The narrator is not in a brawl, he is in a fight with skinheads.

critique: The police do not find a murder scene because the narrator cannot remember what happened.

text: This answer hints at one thing the narrator seems surprised by - that he was in a fight/brawl the previous night. But the tense of the first sentence is incorrect and the second sentence is false. This should include his surprise at waking up in a baker's yard, having been in a bloody fight, and possessing a phone that is not his own.

refinement: One is that the narrator seems to be in some sort of brawl. The other twists and turns in the story when the "police" leading the narrator to a murder scene in the end (at least from a police point of view).


text:
I wrote this for my GCSE course work about 2 years ago and it has been sitting on my computer ever since.

This was my first and last draft of the story, I have never written anything but essays before this.

There I was, wind howling in my ears and whipping my hair to and fro, crouched deep in a dried up river bed that would soon fill with the crystal clear ice melt from the nearby glacier in the coming summer months, I spotted my target. Plump, but fast was my target, the master of escape, for he had avoided me, the best tracker in the village, for six days and lead me deep into the woods that we often heard stories about as children, of men who had strayed too far never to return.

It was said that at the edge of these woods lay the base of the tallest mountain range in the known world, dwarfing the ranges that the glacier called home. It was said that at the base of those dark mountains was a cave where the she monster lay, waiting for any lost animal to stray too close, looking for shelter from the wind and snow in her hellish, yet inviting cave.

A gentle shifting of heavy hooves and the crunch of dry leaves brought me back to the present. The one I knew as the deceiver, for he could lose an expert hunter within hours, was slowly rising from his place of rest. He was unfortunate for the leaves to give him away but it was a mistake that only fawns make, not a full grown stag who had survived many cold, harsh winters like the one we seemed to be stuck in at the time.

As fast as I dared, I strung my bow and notched one of my finest arrows; I drew my bow felt the arrow on my right cheek bone and aimed. The soft twang of the bow was picked up by the deceiver’s sensitive ears but my arrow flew to fast for him to do react, the arrow thumped into him as he raised his head and let out one final bay, the arrow sprouted from his lower neck with a fountain of glistening ruby red blood gushing from the wound.

As I was deconstructing my bow into my preferred travelling position, the sound of dry leaves beneath a large creature caught my attention. I looked up at the deceiver but he was long dead, the noise had not come from him. I decided against packing up my bow and rather waited in the river bed, my eyes darting at the slightest sound. I began to doubt that I had ever heard the noise, scolding myself for being so ignorant, the wind could have made the leaves rustle.

But I knew something was not right, before the forest was full of small animals such as squirrels and birds, now there was nothing. Perhaps the kill had scared them off, but every time I had hunted, the forest would be just as busy after a kill as before it. No, something was wrong here and as if to confirm my suspicions the bushes on the far side of the clearing began to move.

A looming figure stepped from the darker area of bushes, taller than any beast I had ever seen and as thick as the farm’s wagon. All of my childhood nightmares of the she beast came flooding back in a wave of terror as I realized what had just appeared before me. Hunched shoulders carried arms and legs as thick as any tree, matted brown fur coated the whole body, wet from melted snow and splattered with fresh blood; the wind blew at the fur and made it danced around as if distracting me while the monster made its move.

 The beast stood on its hind legs showing off its height and sniffed the air, with a crash it came back onto all fours and stared at the river bed until it spotted me. The black orbs rooted me to the spot while its jet black lips curled back to reveal the its sharp fangs, they were curled backwards to hold prey while the ones deeper in were thicker and probably used to crush bones, a thought that made me tremble. They were a sickly shade of yellow, a feature that only increased my urge to run when it let out a low, grumbling warning growl.

Since the beast had emerged from the forest I had chosen my best arrow and placed it on my bow, and as quietly as the river bed and leaves would allow me to, I snuck into a crouched shooting position, ready to defend myself. The beast noticed my stance and let out an almighty roar that threatened to knock me over due to shear ferocity.  Despite the distraction my aim was true; the arrow lodged itself in the beast’s right shoulder, giving me enough time to escape.

The river bed would lead me home and I was at an advantage for the beasts gigantic size meant it could not fit through the tight gaps along the winding river bed; however I knew my efforts would be in vain as I was only leading the beast closer to my home.

title: The Bear

question: What does the story say about what happens when the narrator sees the bear?

answer: The narrator notices the beast and realizes it is a bear. He sees it and tries to shoot it, but the arrow lodges itself in the beast's right shoulder. The beast roars, which threatens to knock the narrator over. The narrator knows that the river bed will lead the beast closer to his home.

critique: The narrator doesn't realize the beast is a bear.

critique: The narrator realizes it's a bear after he shoots it.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator tries to escape the bear.

critique: 'The beast roars, which threatens to knock the narrator over' is unnecessary detail.

critique: The narrator doesn't realize the beast is a bear. He just knows it's a monster.

question: What does the story say about how the narrator feels?

answer: The narrator feels determined to kill the stag. They feel accomplished when they manage to kill it. They feel scared when they see the she beast.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator feels terrified when they see the she beast.

critique: The narrator feels determined to kill the beast.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator feels scared and terrified when they see the she beast.

critique: The response is missing the narrator's feelings of determination to kill the beast.

critique: The narrator doesn't feel scared when he sees the beast. He feels terror.

critique: The narrator doesn't look down on the task of killing deer. They feel accomplished after killing it.

question: What does the story say about whether the beast finds the narrator's home?

answer: No answer

critique: The story does not answer this question.

critique: The response misses to answer the question.


text:
I was born full-blooded princess with a bit of fairy powers. I was raised in an intricate stone four-story palace. My room was on the top floor. It had a pink Fisher Price vanity set and an extravagant tunnel cage for my dwarf hamster, Muffin. Along the wall I had a bay window, where I could look out and see the vast and perfectly groomed ground below. I was a powerful and graceful princess, who had everything ever needed. In this Kingdom I grew into a Queen, I was taught to be full of knowledge and love.

My father was the mighty King. He had a grand office and would care for every guest. My home had many rooms to explore. The basement was a dungeon; I was never allowed to go down the elevator. The dim chapel was great for hide and seek with my three siblings. The oval arrangement room with deep red satin chairs was the ideal place to read The Box Car Children in peace. Men would tend to the grounds and maids would dust the cherrywood stair railing. My father's guard, Steve, was a terrific man. He always worked on certificates and ascended to the basement. Occasionally, he snuck me dark chocolates from his suit pocket to satisfy my young, sweet tooth then press his finger to his smile, swearing me to secrecy.,

The castle was magical. Each morning it would fill with guest who had traveled from all walks of life in search of my father’s compassionate care. The visitors were remarkable; they always had a different age, race, shape, and size, as if they were from another land. The one common thread among them was that they always seemed so dense and weighted down by something depressing. As if the wicked White Witch from Narnia had cast them into a land of perpetual winter. My father, in his Kingly responsibility, would help them in their desperate state. They would always depart hugging my father and express gratitude to my mother for her hospitality. I believed my father had a power that could save people from anything.

The palace  was widely known for curing people who had a particular dark enchantment, the one where a body could fall into a deep slumber and never wake from it. My father would lay the individual in a beautiful personalized bed. We had a room specifically for the beds. The family would find that perfect one to help the cursed be cured. No sleeping beauty would ever stay long, because my father was mastered in his task. Each day before I would walk to school, I would pat their beds and tell them to sleep good. My proper mom would kindly correct, "Well, sleep well."

At school my best friend was Rachel. She lived in a boring suburb with her mom and brother. Although she was not a full princess, she was a faithful friend with true potential at eventually living as a royal. We would paint each other’s nails, watch princess Disney movies, and practice walking upright with books on our head. We shared a common goal in becoming Queens one day, marrying a cootie free Prince and having a castle of our own.

I love my childhood. I have no clue what made me fully believe that I was a whimsical princess. I suppose I was caught in pure bliss from my ignorance and youth. Perhaps I was hopeful that my books and Disney movies were real. Time and reality have revealed many truths to me. I came to realize I was raised in the loft of a funeral home, where my father helped the grieving memorialize their loved ones. Despite the truths, I still want to retain my prior lookout of life. I still love to look deep into rooms and search for the secrets and comforts they hold. My parents are still hardworking and loving people. Reality doesn't have to strip away beliefs that are rightfully mine. It simply adds credibility to those beliefs. I will always be a Mortician's Princess.

title: Mortician's Princess. My first post and hopefully more to come. Comments welcome!

question: What does the story say about how to become a mortician?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story doesn't say anything about how to become a mortician.

critique: The answer should mention that the story does not say anything about how to become a mortician.

critique: There is no reason to set out to become a mortician as there are no details in the story of how to become a mortician, so there is no teaching in the story as to how to become a mortician.

critique: The answer should mention that the story does not mention how to become a mortician.

question: How does the narrator's belief about being a princess change throughout the story?

answer: She believes she was raised in a funeral home, but she still wants to retain her prior outlook on life.

critique: The answer should mention that she realizes she was raised in a funeral home.

text: Add that the narrator's childhood was spent believing she was a princess, having been immersed in children's books and Disney.

question: What does the story say about Rachel?

answer: Rachel is the narrator's best friend. She lives in a boring suburb with her mom and brother. She is not a full princess but is a faithful friend with true potential to eventually become a royal. The two girls share a common goal of becoming Queens one day and marrying a cootie-free prince and having a castle of their own.

critique: The answer should mention that Rachel is not a princess.

critique: The answer should mention that they both want to be queens and marry a prince.

question: What were the actual rooms and areas in the funeral home the narrator imagined were something else?

answer: A chapel, a dungeon, princess' room,and even the funeral home as a whole.

critique: The narrator's room was on the top floor, not the basement.

critique: The narrator's room was on the top floor of the palace.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator's room was the loft.

critique: The narrator's room was on the top floor, not the dungeon.

critique: The narrator does not say that the funeral home as a whole was something else, but just some of its parts.

critique: The narrator's room is not a chapel, dungeon, or princess' room.

critique: The narrator's room was not a funeral home.

critique: The narrator was not imagining the funeral home as a whole, but rather the loft.


text:
**Life, in a Couple Paragraphs**

I wake up one morning feeling adventurous. I hop out of bed and shamble in to the bathroom to take a shower, stopping to pick up my blanket and tuck it into the covers my Mommy had tucked me in the night before.

~

When I exit the shower, I run my hands through my hair and toss my head around like a wet dog to get rid of the water. I go into my room to put on some clean clothes and decide on a green Power Ranger shirt that I get when my family went to Disney last February Vacation and a pair of Lee Jeans, topped off with light up Spiderman sneakers. As I enter the kitchen, I ruffle my dog’s fur and talk to her in that “baby” voice people use on dogs to make them seem more human-like. My brother asks me if I’d make him something to eat and I ask him what he wanted.
	“Cereal, I guess,” is his response. “Lucky Charms,” he adds as I reach for the Oatmeal Squares he usually eats on Saturday mornings before he heads off to his girlfriend’s house on the 11:35 a.m. Subway that takes you Downtown. I pour his cereal and milk on top of it; he only drinks 2% for some odd reason.
	“Thanks,” he says as he wipes his mouth with his long sleeve thermal and seizes his bag from the chair next to him. I ask him what’s in the bag, but all he says is, “stuff.” It takes me a few years to realize what my brother meant, but when I get to junior high I start to understand.

~

“You tryna hit this, dude?” Jed says. I haven’t smoked Marijuana, or “weed,” before, but I don’t wanna look like a pussy. I say “I’ll hit it” and when I inhale I choke for a good two minutes --while Steve and Jed sit on the rock where we hang out after we finish our homework on weekdays.
“First time, huh?” Steve says as he exhales a plume of smoke that makes me gag. I say “yeah” and throw my hand over my mouth.
 “You’ll get used to it,” Jed says exhaling and coughing. Steve points at him and laughs, spitting out the insult, “whatta bitch,” between fits of laughter.

~

“Where is it?” the cop asks. I tell him that I don’t know what he’s talking about and he tells me to “shut up.” He bends me over the hood of my 2005 Acura TL and cuffs my hands together. I know I’m gonna get fucked, even though none of it was my fault. 300 kilos of Heroin “wasn’t my fault?” They wouldn’t buy it, my story. I mean, it starts off sketchy and continues to grow, progressively, worse: like the life of a person that, a few years ago, I would ridicule and make fun of. Society will do that to you. Life will, too. You think you’re “someone” and then, after a couples bad (or good) decisions you’re someone completely different.
The penalty is in after a few brief moments of the jury talking: GUILTY. It wasn’t even close. I had a terrible lawyer. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not the time for excuses, though.

~

“Ten years,” says the Judge. Cheers fill the room and I’m escorted out into a police car, in cuffs.

~

It’s hard to write in here. I’ve been here ten years, come tomorrow. Everyone else is out going to college and getting jobs. Hell, even Jed went to Italy to work with some architects or something. But I’ve been here. Writing all these thoughts on spare pieces of napkins and, well, I’m on to the wall now. Words cover my cell. The guards think I’m planning some assassination or something. They ask me what I’m writing and all I say is “stuff.”

~

It’s so much different on the outside. So many things have changed. We have electric cars now? And we’re in another war? A black guy is President? How many things did I miss? Nothing changes on the inside: Herb’s always playing cards, 10:22 a.m. to 6:37 p.m., every day; Matt’s lifting weights and listening to some new country song when you think he’d be more into Rap and that kind of shit; Scott’s tattooing people, un-professionally, of course. It’s all the same. All the time…

~

Been out from behind bars for thirty-two years now. Met the girl of my dreams, finished school, got a job, dumped the girl of my dreams for some skank I’d been hooking up with from a nearby high school for the past two months, worked for her dad doing something with cars, broke her heart and her dad came after me with a shovel, moved out to Cali, started a surf shop with some guys off the street, got addicted to coke, went to rehab, met another girl on a run through the park when her dog’s leash tripped me, moved back East to Philly with her, got hitched, moved to Southern ME, started working for a fisherman, retired, had an affair with our house maid, got divorced, started smoking Pot again, met another girl, got re-married, got cheated on, followed by another divorce, then I started writing. Got through most of my life without much of anything or anyone. My only prized possessions are an old acoustic guitar that’s always a little flat, an old 60-gig iPod, and a pair of vintage jeans I bought at a Salvation Army a few years back when I found out my youngest child had Leukemia.

~

I’ve written a few best sellers now. And from time to time, people mention my name in the newspaper. I’m long gone in the Caribbean, though; in a small three-room cottage with shitty Internet service and some illegal immigrant I think I’ve fallen for. People stop by every once in a while, looking for a story or something, I don’t know. It’s like they think I wrote it all down.

title: Life, in a Couple Paragraphs.

question: According to the passage, what incident sets the narrator on the path of drugs?

answer: No answer

critique: The narrator mentions that his life starts off sketchy and continues to get worse. This is evidence that the narrator starts down the path of drugs due to his sketchy life.

critique: The narrator's brother asks him to make him something to eat.

critique: The narrator starts selling drugs after they are released from prison. They were in prison due to the 300 kilos of heroin they were caught with.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's brother.

critique: The narrator is not on drugs at the beginning of the story.

critique: The narrator does not mention any incident that sets him on the path of drugs.

critique: There is evidence in the passage that mentions what incidents set the narrator on the path of drugs.