text:
He knew the moment she entered the bar.  If anyone had been watching him in his secluded corner, they would have noticed the slight tightening of his shoulders.  Otherwise, to all the world he was just a morose man staring into his drink with his right hand poised above an open journal as if waiting for dictation.  His statuesque pose opposite the drop of life that entered at that instant.

Watching her movements with his peripheral vision, the man admired the woman’s gracefulness as she danced between the tables and chairs.  She walked past his booth without a glance.  When the woman rounded the corner into the back section, he visually relaxed and let out a tired sigh.  Placing a ten dollar bill on the table, the man gathers his belongings as if to leave.

As he knelt down next to his backpack, the man stops and turns pale.  A chill runs down his spine as he glances over his shoulder.  Surprised emerald eyes stare at him from midst a heart shaped face.  The woman stands at the back corner with her hand braced on the wall, giving the look of a deer caught in headlights. They lock eyes and, for a moment, the universe stops its incessant ticking.  The man recovers first, standing up, brushing his coat, and while eyes still bound together, gestures to the opposite side of the booth.

Breaking eye contact first, she looks around the room in panic.  Seeing no avenue of escaping with dignity, the woman lets out an exasperated huff, the glides over to the secluded table. Motioning the waiter over she orders a Guinness for both her and the man.  They sat in familiar, nearly companionable, silence while they waited for their drinks.  When the beverages arrive, they both thanked the server then grew quiet again.  The Silence fully blossoms around them as they sit alone, together.

With a small smile, the man gazes at the woman.  He takes in her face, neck, shoulders, then follows her arms down to her fingertips. His touch had known every curve and angle. Closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath to both capture this fragment of time and shatter the growing silence.  Clearing her throat in indignation, she startles him back to the present. The man blushes, not used to being caught unawares. Silence, again, settles around them like a wool blanket on a mid-summer’s day.

The door crashes open, breaking their reveries. In strided a conglomerate of shrieking harpies announcing their intention to party the night away.  The woman looks relieved and glancing sheepishly at the man, gets up to go.  One of the birds disengages from the group, hurling herself into the woman’s arms, squealing above the sounds normally heard by the human ear. Not a glance is given the man as they go back to the herd.

Silence once again settles in the corner, bearing all its weight upon the man’s shoulders. He looks tired and beat up, almost lost. He only looks up once as he takes his writings out of his pack. Then he opens his journal and begins to write.

------------------

This was an story prompt for my creative writing class where we had to write a sort of dialogue between two people who once dated in the past and have ran into each other at the bar. We couldn't have them talk about the relationship or how it ended and each of them have something they are holding back from the other person that we can't talk about as well. I had decided to do a "no dialogue" dialogue.

Please tell me what you think, how I can improve, what should be expanded upon.

PS. I'm a Veteran with a traumatic brain injury and while I have always written poems/short stories, my ability to do so has been hampered. My team and I believe that getting back into writing will help with the healing and so I come to Reddit for a little extra push to get better. Thanks! :)

title: The Words Unspoken

question: Who is the protagonist watching?

answer: The protagonist is watching his ex-girlfriend.

critique: It is omitted that the protagonist is also writing in his journal.

critique: Does not mention that they once dated, which he begins reminiscing on, observing her attractiveness and grace as a female.

question: What does the story say about break ups?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story doesn't mention anything about breakups.

critique: The answer should mention that the story doesn't say anything about breakups.

critique: The answer should mention that the story does not talk about breakups.

question: What does the story say about the man's journal?

answer: No answer

critique: The response misses to mention that the man writes in his journal after the woman leaves.

critique: The answer should mention that the man writes in his journal while at the bar.

critique: The answer should be that the man writes in his journal.


split: train

text:
My mother died when I was nine. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this now, today. Not that I’ve never thought about this before. It’s just that nothing happened today. I woke up. I sat on the couch for an hour. I checked my mailbox around noon: nothing. I watched the clouds roll by to the droning of the television. I’m not even sure what it was that was on. Some game show or other shit program that advertises false happiness for free. I’m so fed up with wealth being the only source of happiness that’s feasible anymore. But everyone thinks that, don’t they? I can’t even be original with my angst. Not that I was original in anything I’ve done thus far with my life.

See, my mother died when I was nine. I’ve already said that, but the point is I never quite came to terms with it. I woke up in September, and she was dead. Car accident. Not that the cause is really important. The end result is always the same. And like I said, I never really dealt with this. I was nine. What nine year old can comprehend death? What third grader can grasp the idea that their mother stopped living?  She’s gone, they told me. She’s in heaven. I remember looking up the directions to heaven that night. Why did she go, and not bring me? When is she coming home? Mommy is never coming home, they said. Well, never is a long time. Never hasn’t come and gone yet, not for me. And see, I struggled with this concept for a long time. And as a nine year old trying to come to grips with his and everyone else’s mortality, I wasn’t very fun to be around.  I grew up with no real friends, just people I talked to on occasion. That kid in the back of the class that everyone whispered about and avoided in the halls? That was me.

My father tried to help, at least. He tried to get me interested in sports. He’d take me outside to throw a football. I pretended to be interested. I tried really hard to be enthusiastic about something, anything. But really, what was the point? We all live; we all die. It’s a useless cycle of oxygen exchanged with carbon dioxide. Eventually we all become food for trees. Apathy had a stranglehold, and it wasn’t letting go. I tried therapy. They told me I was depressed, so I tried antidepressants. They just made me anxious. I tried writing, but I was never any good. Everything came out stiff. I tried learning an instrument but my fingers never moved the way I wanted them to. Eventually even my father gave up on me. So forgive me if I don’t believe you when you say you care. When your father gives up you, you’re at the bottom. That’s really just it. And what’s sad, what is so fucking pathetic, is that none of this is unique. Do you know how many assholes have lived this same life? This apathy isn’t original, it’s cliché. I’m just a sad speck in the spectrum of grey nothingness that is the universe.

And today, nothing happened. I woke up; I lived; I sighed; I gave up. My dog hasn’t even looked at me today. Aren’t dogs supposed to sense emotions and respond appropriately? Maybe it’s because I’m not sad. I’m not angry. I’m not anything. I just am. I exist. Who cares? Not my dog, not my father; not my mother, that’s for damn sure. So the sun set today, like it has every day in history, and I sat down at my desk. This time I’m not writing for catharsis. I’m not writing to get better. I’m writing so you understand why. And tomorrow the sun is going to rise. Just like today, the day that nothing happened. Just like that day in September when I was nine and my mother was dead. And tomorrow, something might happen, just not for me.

title: The Day That Nothing Happened

question: Summarize the symptoms that indicate the narrator is suffering from depression.

answer: The narrator is apathetic and has no interest in anything. He is not motivated to do anything. He is not sad or angry. He is just there.

critique: The narrator is not just there, he's sad and angry, but not motivated to do anything.

critique: The narrator is not just there. He is also anxious.

critique: The narrator is not just there, he is also nihilistic.

critique: The narrator is implied to still have some feelings, as can be seen from their talking about their dog

critique: The narrator is also not motivated to do anything.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator is not motivated to do anything. He is not sad or angry. He is just there.

question: Summarize how the narrator changes over the course of the story?

answer: The narrator seems to be a somewhat hopeless teenager. He is apathetic and depressed. Despite his sadness, his dog isn't interested in him. He didn't care since he is an unamused and unbothered by anyone.

critique: The story is not told from the perspective of a teenager, but from that of an adult.

critique: The story does not mention that the narrator is a teenager.

critique: It is not stated that the narrator is a teenager.

question: Summarize the narrator's reaction to their mother's death.

answer: The narrator's mother died in a car accident when the narrator was nine. The narrator never really came to terms with her death, and struggled to come to grips with their mortality. The narrator was not very fun to be around, and had no real friends. The narrator's father tried to help, but eventually gave up on the narrator.

critique: The narrator's father did not give up on him, he just gave up on trying to help him.

critique: The narrator's father didn't give up on the narrator. He tried to help, but eventually gave up on the narrator's apathy.

critique: The narrator's father gave up on him before the narrator's mother died.

critique: The narrator's father did not give up on the narrator.

critique: The narrator's reaction to their mother's death was to become depressed and apathetic.

critique: The narrator's father did not give up on him.

critique: The response could utilize clearer sentence structure.

question: Summarize everything related to hobbies.

answer: The narrator tries to get interested in sports. He pretends to be interested. He tries writing and can't be good at it. He tries learning an instrument and his fingers don't move the way he wants them to.

critique: The narrator does not try to get interested in sports.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator thinks hobbies are a waste of time.

critique: The narrator does not mention trying to learn an instrument.

critique: The narrator's hobbies aren't mentioned in the passage.

critique: The narrator's lack of interest in hobbies is not relevant to the question.

critique: The narrator doesn't try to learn an instrument.

critique: The narrator is not trying to get interested. Their father tries to get them interested.


text:
BREED STREET SHUL, also known as CONGREGATION TALMUD TORAH OF LOS ANGELES or BREED STREET SYNAGOGUE, is an Orthodox Jewish synagogue in the Boyle Heights section of Los Angeles, California. It was the largest Orthodox synagogue west of Chicago from 1915 to 1951,[1] and is listed in the National Register of Historic Places.

Early history

Congregation Talmud Torah started in 1904, using rented quarters in downtown Los Angeles, at 114 Rose Street. It was started primarily as a Hebrew school (“Talmud Torah” is typically used to mean a supplemental afternoon religious school, though it was also used as a synagogue).

Within a few years, the immigrant population moved, concentrating in Boyle Heights. Several Jews purchased a house at Breed and First, and started using it as a shul. By 1914, the Rose Street location was nonviable, for lack of a quorum (minyan), and the membership merged with the new Breed Street group. In 1915, they purchased a lot two blocks north, and commissioned a new wood-framed building on the present site. It became known as the “Breed Street Shul.”[2][3] The original shul on the site was designed by O.M. Warner and constructed by Bornstein & Cohn.[4]

Enrollment grew, and by 1918, a second structure was needed on the lot. By 1923, there were 110 students enrolled.

The Jewish population grew from a few hundred in 1910, to 1,842 in 1920, to more than 10,000 in 1930.[5][6]

Construction of the existing structure

As the size of the congregation grew, a new synagogue was built, designed by the architectural firm of Edelman and Barnett. The original wood structure was moved to the back of the lot to make room for the new brick structure which opened in 1923. The new synagogue was built from unreinforced masonry with veneer brick and cast stone embellishments on the facade. The façade includes alternating bands of dichromatic brickwork, “dense prickly foliage carving”, other organic motifs, and Stars of David in bas-relief cast stone detail.[7]

Role in the Boyle Heights community

The Boyle Heights section of Los Angeles, located east of downtown, was home to the city's most populous Jewish community from 1910 to 1950. The area around Breed Street Shul became a center for the Jewish community. The business district on Brooklyn Avenue (renamed Cesar Chavez Avenue in 1995) just north of the Shul was the location of many kosher butchers, bakeries, delis, bookstores and other shops catering to the Jewish community. The Breed Street block where the Shul was located also became home of the Los Angeles Jewish Academy (now part of Yavneh Academy)[8] and Mount Sinai Clinic (a forerunner of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center).[9]

In 1945, Rabbi Osher Zilberstein of Breed Street Shul opened the city's first Jewish parochial elementary school.[10] When Israel was established as an independent nation in 1948, Breed Street Shul was the site of a solemn ceremony in which the new flag of Israel was flown for the first time in Los Angeles.[11]

Dispersal of Boyle Heights Jewish community

In the years after World War II, the Jewish community in Boyle Heights dispersed, moving to areas such as the West Fairfax District, Beverlywood, and Encino. Rabbi Zilberstein remained at Breed Street Shul until his death in 1973.[12] Many families, including those of Jewish Veterans of WWII, went east across the L.A. River to the San Gabriel Valley.

Vacancy and deterioration

The main brick building was vacated in the mid-1980s due to seismic retrofit requirements. Services were moved to the original wooden structure at the rear of the lot for several years. By 1996, services ceased at Breed Street Shul, and the buildings have been vacant since that time.[13]

Historic designation and proposed restoration

In 1988, the building was designated as a City of Los Angeles Historic-Cultural Monument.[14] The building fell into disrepair in the 1990s, and the City of Los Angeles foreclosed on the property after recording an assessment for barricading and protection. In 1998, Hillary Clinton visited the Shul as part of her _Save America's Treasures_ campaign. In July 2000, the City quitclaimed the property to Breed Street Shul Project, Inc., a subsidiary of the Jewish Historical Society of Southern California. The organization plans to rehabilitate the buildings as a county museum, educational and cultural center. It was listed on the National Register of Historic Places in 2001.[15][16]

Rabbis

Solomon Michael Neches (1921–1935)

Jerusalem-born Rabbi SOLOMON MICHAEL NECHES (October 13, 1891 - February 11, 1954)[17] was the first rabbi of the synagogue originally named Congregation Talmud Torah.[18]

Rabbi Neches fought the battles of

-   Reform - Rabbi Neches advocated for Orthodox education for the community's Jewish children.
-   Kashrut - He was instrumental in California's (first) Kosher Law.
-   Jewish education - the name of the shul (Congregation Talmud Torah) made it clear that a Yeshiva/day school would have to await his successor.

Neches also is recognized for having begun the Los Angeles-based Western Jewish Institute, and initially led it.[19]

He was succeeded as rabbi of the Breed Street shul by Rabbi Osher Zilberstein.

Osher Zilberstein (1935–1973)

[Breed Street Shul, 2008] OSHER ZILBERSTEIN (1888–1973), a noted Torah scholar, was a tenth generation rabbi from Mezritch, Ukraine. In 1935 he assumed the rabbinical position as the rabbi of the Breed Street Shul, also known by the name Talmud Torah Los Angeles.[20]

Rabbi Zilberstein was instrumental in the opening of an Orthodox day school, Yeshivas HaMaarav.[21]

He was buried at Home of Peace Cemetery in East Los Angeles, California.[22] His Yartzeit is 14 Shvat (5733) and his father's name was Rabbi Yisroel Aharon Zilberstein. He was born in the Ukraine, immigrated to Winnipeg, Canada in 1924, and moved to Los Angeles in 1935.

Cantors

Cantor ISRAEL REICH (1946-1953) did not begin his career at the Breed Street Shul, nor did he end it there. One of the reasons he was described as a “Cantor's Cantor” was that he “helped train countless students, including his own three children, to become cantors.”[23]

[1]

[2]

[3]  Los Angeles Conservancy|website=www.laconservancy.org|language=en|access-date=2017-05-10}}

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

[18]

[19]

[20]

[21]

[22]

[23]

title: Breed Street Shul

question: For what is the Breed Street Shul famous?

answer: It was the largest Orthodox synagogue west of Chicago from 1915 to 1951.

critique: Does not mention the historic preservation of the building.

question: What happened to the Hebrew school in Rose street?

answer: It was merged with the new Breed Street group.

critique: The answer should mention that the Rose Street group was nonviable.

critique: The answer should mention the reason for the merger.

question: How did the Breed Street Shul end up abandoned?

answer: It was vacated in the mid-1980s due to seismic retrofit requirements.

critique: The answer should mention the current state of the building.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

critique: The answer should mention the abandonment after the 1990s.

critique: The answer is incomplete. It should mention that the congregation disbanded and moved out of the area.


text:
  There isn’t much to be said about a rain drop.  Falling from the sky, hurtling towards an inevitable end, oblivious to its own grim eventuality.  It ends much like it began. Silently, swiftly, with no fuss or clamor.  Pitter patter, pitter patter- we hardly notice the death rattle of millions.
It’s raining in the desert.  The ground is so dry that it resists the water,  so dense that it cannot seep down into the earth. Rather it floods over it, running in wild streams, carving gullies across the sand.  It pools and puddles in basins and on the plain, growing larger as it is fed by the runoff and its cousins falling directly to it from the sky.  The falling droplets make ripples across the surface- by this the volume of rainfall may be seen.
The ripples slide smoothly outwards from the point of impact.  The first is largest, the following lessen. Ring after ring glide out, until they turn from faint to finished.  As they expand they roll over ripples from neighboring points of impact. Gently, they roll over each other, skewing their course.  They are quickly lost from sight, buried beneath the waves of later generations.
The desert won’t remember the rain. In a day’s time, it will again be dry, the wind and sand will hide the gorges the water ran through.  The air will be parched, the sky clear.  Innumerable storms have swept across the sandy expanse.  But one would never know, looking out on it.  None of them left a legend.  Every droplet failed to make an impression.  For a time, they stood united in great pools and winding rivulets, snaking across the sand, shaping the landscape.  But as quickly as the rain came did the desert reclaim the sand.
Man is the rain.  Man’s end is also a quiet ripple. His passing is noticed by those closest to him, their lives are changed and their own ripples turned aside slightly by his.  And then his ring expires, written over by new waves, new ripples and new stories.  Those who knew him pass, those who knew them follow; the desert drinks up all memories thirstily and erases any trace of any being there.
So lives are measured.  Not in years or in virtue, but in impact.  The violence of man’s expiration is the ultimate tribute to his existence.  If his substance is to be lost amidst the mass of millions, joining together into one indiscriminate mass of fluid, marked only by a quiet plopping and subtle splash, so be it.  Such an end is chosen every instant by the individual to whom it represents.  They chose timidity over boldness.  They are just part of the storm.
That’s all man is.  A storm of feeling and thought.  There is chaos in every human heart.  From the collective soul echoes such pandemonium that may shake the world to pieces.  Fully expressed, man will be the hurricane.  The typhoon.  Man is a force of nature like no other.
Alone man is no howling wind.  His rage today is not expressed even as a gentle breeze.  Man has allowed himself to become but wisps of warm air- stirring ever so slightly the leaves of trees as he moves along.  Man’s raindrops fall slowly to the ground, fat and tear shaped, splatting gently against some surface infinitely more resolute than he.
But not all men.  Some refuse to be a party to a complacent demise.  Some men’s wind will blow their rain sideways.  They will sting the skin and their heated fury will turn the rain to steam.  No faint drizzle, their droplet will be the herald of a downpour.
The hate that drives them is the hate of the gentle rain. They hate the soft, white clouds that litter the sky, occasionally precipitating some minor rainfall, failing to even mark the day as overcast.  How can a man or woman consign themselves to such a fate?  Are they so filled with apathy that they simply accept the world, allowing gravity to pull them down, directly?  Where is the resistance?
	It’s lost, and they’ve sworn to find it.  Their only drive is to effect this change.  They find the air to be stale, the water stagnant.  In the wake of the hurricane the world will be scrubbed clean.

title: For all the Sheep out there.

question: Summarize the mood that this text depicts.

answer: It seems that the general mood portrayed is one of despair. There was only one notable example of joyful potential in the text- when mentioning how thrilling it would be to be taken with the force of a hurricane, or typhoon. However, this is mostly overshadowed by the idea that one will exist as a part of an undifferentiated mass of fluid. The ending is the culmination of this feeling, with the idea that the best thing to do is to affect positive change.

critique: This idea is not mentioned in the text, but the author presents their argument well

critique: This excerpt is irrelevant and needs to be deleted.

critique: "The ending is the culmination of this feeling, with the idea that the best thing to do is to affect positive change." - is inaccurate. The end speaks of one who will stand alone as a howling wind.

critique: The text does not say that the narrator is an individual who is against expression of oneself and individuality.

critique: There is no mention of despair in the text.

critique: There was no evidence of despair except in the way the author describes the desert, as described in the text.

critique: The answer is mostly wrong. The text is not about despair or undifferentiated masses.

critique: There is no mention of a loving or joyful mood.

critique: "The ending is the culmination of this feeling, with the idea that the best thing to do is to affect positive change" is inaccurate. The ending is about how a person's impact is not about years lived or virtue, but about one's impact.

critique: This is a very inaccurate summary of the text.

critique: I don't think the text mentions that the idea of being taken with the force of a hurricane is joyful.

critique: The last sentence is irrelevant and should be omitted.


text:
The timer for the food began to beep. Emma was preparing dinner for the soon to be arriving Kindle. I had to make my move soon. Kindle, should have found my useless clue by now and should be making the drive back home. As I climbed the stairs I heard Emma running towards the television. I cracked the door to get a better look at the situation at hand. Emma was looking under the couch cushions, under the dining table, through the ruffles of papers on the coffee table. Sweat started to form on my palms. Had I been had? It must’ve been the loud thump. She was looking for a gun. I opened the door and started walking towards her. She found was she was looking for: The Remote. I slid into the velvet curtain awaiting her next move. She pushed the volume on the remote and turned the television up.

“This is too easy,” I chuckled

She had been watching a popular television singing show and her favorite guy had just come on. He was singing my anthem; Mad World by Gary Jules.

“All around me are familiar faces…,” the words echoed throughout the house. I came out from the curtains and Emma let out a scream. I loved it when they screamed. I tackled her to the ground and covered her mouth with a towel filled with Ethanol. “Their tears are filling up their glasses...No expression, no expression…” she was passed out and the best part was coming. I stood up and went to grab a dark sheet from the linen closet. This was bound to get messy, and I didn’t want to ruin their white carpet. With my knife in hand, I went back towards Emma. The dog was on her know growling fiercely towards me. German Sheppard’s are ferocious dogs, luckily I had prepared for this. As the dog lunged towards me I side-stepped and stabbed it in the neck. “Hide my head I want drown my sorrow…” The blood from the dog splattered on the white carpet. I knew I had very little time left, therefore I didn’t bother cleaning out the blood. I laid the sheet down and placed Emma on top of it. I drew the lines which I was going to cut with a marker. I was all set up. My hand went up into the air. The door swung wide open and Kindle was there with a gun pointed at my head. “Look right through me, Look right through me…”

“You’re surrounded Jason,” he said “Just put down the knife and everything will be alright Jason,”

He made a promise a person of my intelligence knew he wouldn’t be able to fulfill. He was ruining my puzzle. I glanced into Kindles eyes and smiled. The knife came down and Emma’s blood splattered all over my face. Kindle’s face grew fierce as he pulled the trigger. Over and over the sound of bullets firing rang throughout the house. One hit my arm the others landed in various places throughout my back. The pain of smoldering metal melting through your skin is unfathomable. I fell over on my back as Kindle rushed to the aid of his wife. She was gone, my cut had been fatal. There I lay disappointed that my puzzle didn’t go as planned. “I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had…”

The bus had come to a stop and the puddle of blood coming from my nose had grew from a small circle to a decent size pond. It didn’t matter how much blood I lost though. Soon enough, it would be meaningless. The guards carried me onto the stretcher that was being used to put me to rest. There I lay on the stretcher, reminiscing about all of my puzzles that would be left unsolved. They wheeled me into the observations room. I figured there would quite a crowd to see my death.

“How many people are here,” I asked Kindle

“Enough to see you burn in hell,” he said

“But, I’ve been saved, I have found Christ,” I said returning the same mocking smile he had given me earlier. I knew he was a Christian and deathbed repentance was a common practice they believed in.

“I’m glad those are going to be you’re last words,” he said as he stuffed a white rag into my mouth. A blindfold was then put to cover my eyes. I didn’t understand. I knew I was being sentenced to death, but I was being put to death by lethal injection. They stretchered me into a room and then sat me upright. Something was not right; I had to figure this out. They unstrapped me from the stretcher and strapped me into a wooden chair.

“Everyone out,” Kindle said.

The anticipation was overcoming me I had to figure this last puzzle out. I heard the door close and lock. I was left alone. I couldn’t understand what was happening. The aroma of the room slowly started to change. Pipes started to hiss and valves were being released. I started to kick and scream, I didn’t want it to end this way. I had figured out the last puzzle. I was sentenced to death; death by gas chamber.

title: The Puzzler Part 2

question: Summarize the acts of violence committed by Jason.

answer: Jason tackles Emma to the ground and covers her mouth with a towel filled with ethanol. He then stabs the dog in the neck. He then stabs Emma in the chest.

text: Does not mention stabbing the dog through the neck.

category: coverage

question: Summarize Kindle's actions in the story.

answer: Kindle finds Jason's clue and makes his way home. He is then met by his wife and Jason, who is armed with a towel doused in Ethanol. Kindle then fires a shot at Jason, killing him. He then helps his wife and waits for the police.

critique: Kindle doesn't kill Jason, he stops him. The model doesn't distinguish between the narrator calling himself Jason and the main protagonist, Jason. It should separate between the two.

critique: Kindle doesn't fire a shot at Jason. He only fires a shot at Jason after he kills Emma.

critique: Kindle does not fire a shot at Jason, he shoots Jason after he kills Emma.

critique: Kindle doesn't fire a shot at Jason, he fires shots at Jason.

text: Kindle shoots multiple times at Jason incapacitating him. He then turns Jason into the police, but rather than take him to a hospital or jail, he takes him to an apparent gas chamber where he's been sentenced to death.

question: Summarize everything relating to Jason's motivation for killing Emma.

answer: Jason is a serial killer who is obsessed with puzzles. He is in the process of killing Emma when her husband, Kindle, arrives. Jason kills Emma and is then shot by Kindle.

critique: The answer omits the fact that Jason is a serial killer who is obsessed with puzzles.

question: Summarize the deaths that occur over the course of the story.

answer: The narrator kills Emma by stabbing her dog, then he stabs himself. The police then shoot and kill the narrator. The narrator is sentenced to death by gas chamber.

critique: Emma is not stabbed. The narrator kills her by stabbing her with a knife.

text: The narrator kills the dog, then stabs Emma. The narrator is then sentenced to death by gas chamber.

category: accuracy


text:
DEEP WATER SOURCE COOLING (DWSC) or DEEP WATER AIR COOLING is a form of air cooling for process and comfort space cooling which uses a large body of naturally cold water as a heat sink. It uses water at 4 to 10 degrees Celsius drawn from deep areas within lakes, oceans, aquifers or rivers, which is pumped through the one side of a heat exchanger. On the other side of the heat exchanger, cooled water is produced.[1]

Basic concept

Water is most dense at at standard atmospheric pressure. Thus as water cools below 3.98 °C it decreases in density and will rise. As the temperature climbs above 3.98 °C, water density also decreases and causes the water to rise, which is why lakes are warmer on the surface during the summer. The combination of these two effects means that the bottom of most deep bodies of water located well away from the equatorial regions is at a constant 3.98 °C.

Air conditioners are heat pumps. During the summer, when outside air temperatures are higher than the temperature inside a building, air conditioners use electricity to transfer heat from the cooler interior of the building to the warmer exterior ambient. This process uses electrical energy.

Unlike residential air conditioners, most modern commercial air conditioning systems do not transfer heat directly into the exterior air. The thermodynamic efficiency of the overall system can be improved by utilizing evaporative cooling, where the temperature of the cooling water is lowered close to the wet-bulb temperature by evaporation in a cooling tower. This cooled water then acts as the heat sink for the heat pump.

Deep lake water cooling uses cold water pumped from the bottom of a lake as a heat sink for climate control systems. Because heat pump efficiency improves as the heat sink gets colder, deep lake water cooling can reduce the electrical demands of large cooling systems where it is available. It is similar in concept to modern geothermal sinks, but generally simpler to construct given a suitable water source.

Deep lake water cooling allows higher thermodynamic efficiency by using cold deep lake water, which is colder than the ambient wet bulb temperature. The higher efficiency results in less electricity used. For many buildings, the lake water is sufficiently cold that the refrigeration portion of the air conditioning systems can be shut down during some environmental conditions and the building interior heat can be transferred directly to the lake water heat sink. This is referred to as “free cooling”, but is not actually free, since pumps and fans run to circulate the lake water and building air.

One added attraction of deep lake water cooling is that it saves energy during peak load times, such as summer afternoons, when a sizable amount of the total electrical grid load is air conditioning.

Advantages

Deep water source cooling is very energy efficient, requiring only 1/10 of the average energy required by conventional cooler systems.[2] Consequently, its running costs can also be expected to be much lower.

The energy source is very local and fully renewable, provided that the water and heat rejected into the environment (often the same lake or a nearby river) does not disturb the natural cycles. It does not use any ozone depleting refrigerant.

Depending on the needs and on the water temperature, couple heating and cooling can be considered. For example, heat could first be extracted from the water (making it colder); and, secondly, that same water could cycle to a refrigerating unit to be used for even more effective cold production.

Disadvantages

Deep water source cooling requires a large and deep water quantity in the surroundings. To obtain water in the 3 to 6 °C (37 to 43 °F) range, a depth of to is generally required, depending on the local conditions.

The set-up of a system is expensive and labour-intensive. The system also requires a great amount of source material for its construction and placement.

First major system in the United States

Cornell University's Lake Source Cooling System uses Cayuga Lake as a heat sink to operate the central chilled water system for its campus and to also provide cooling to the Ithaca City School District.[3] The system has operated since the summer of 2000 and was built at a cost of $55–60 million. It cools a 14,500 ton (51 megawatt) load. The intake pipe of the system is 3,200 m (10,498 ft) long and has a pipe diameter of 1,600 mm (63“), installed at a depth of 229 m (750 ft), allowing access to water temperatures between 3-5 C (37-41 F). The water is returned to the lake through a 1,200 mm (47”) outfall pipe, 780 m (2,560 ft) long. The pipe selected for the project was Sclairpipe, made from high density polypropylene (HDPE). Estimated savings is an 80% reduction in fossil fuel previously required to operate a conventional electric cooling system.

First system in Canada

Since August 2004, a deep lake water cooling system has been operated by the Enwave Energy Corporation in Toronto, Ontario.[4] It draws water from Lake Ontario through tubes extending into the lake, reaching to a depth of . The deep lake water cooling system is part of an integrated district cooling system that covers Toronto's financial district, and has a cooling power of 59,000 tons (207 MW). The system currently has enough capacity to cool of office space.[5]

The installed deep lake cooling water intake line was 1,600mm (63") in diameter, 15,000 m (49,213 ft) long and installed at a depth of 85 m (278 ft) allowing access to water temperatures of between 3-5 C (37-41 F). The selected pipe was Sclairpipe, made from high density polyethylene (HDPE) resin.

The cold water drawn from Lake Ontario's deep layer in the Enwave system is not returned directly to the lake once it has been run through the heat exchange system. The Enwave system only uses water that is destined to meet the city's domestic water needs. Therefore, the Enwave system does not pollute the lake with a plume of waste heat.

Seawater air conditioning

[Seawater pipes of The Excelsior hotel system in Hong Kong.] This version is also known as ocean water cooling. The InterContinental Resort and Thalasso-Spa on the island of Bora Bora uses a seawater air conditioning (SWAC) system to air condition its buildings. The system accomplishes this by passing cold seawater through a heat exchanger where it cools freshwater in a closed loop system. This cool freshwater is then pumped to buildings and is used for cooling directlyno conversion to electricity takes place. Similar systems are also in place in The Excelsior hotel[6] and The Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation main building in Hong Kong, and at the Natural Energy Laboratory of Hawaii Authority.[7]

Salt water air conditioning systems have been used in Sydney's Circular Quay and prominent buildings within the harbour since the rise of commercial air conditioning systems in the 1960s. These include the heritage-listed AMP 'Palm Cove' Building (constructed 1962) and the Sydney Opera House. [8][9]

The InterContinental Resort is the largest seawater air conditioning system to date, though there are several other, larger systems being planned.[10] Honolulu Seawater Air Conditioning is a project intending to use seawater air conditioning to deliver renewable cooling to commercial and residential properties in the downtown Honolulu area.[11] It is majority owned by eBay founder Pierre Omidyar's Ulupono Initiative.[12]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

title: Deep water source cooling

question: What are the advantages and disadvantages of deep water air cooling?

answer: One of the major advantages of DWSC (deep water air cooling) is that it requires less energy to run, and use only 1/10 of the average energy required by conventional cooler systems. However it also requires a great amount of deep and large water. This consuming setup makes the cooling system attractive to some local small companies, but not commercial businesses.

critique: The response is incorrect. The advantages and disadvantages are not mentioned in the article.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

question: What does the article say about the advantages of conventional air cooling?

answer: No answer

critique: The passage did not mention conventional air conditioning at all.

critique: The answer should mention that conventional air cooling is not mentioned in the article.

critique: The answer should mention that there is no mention of conventional air cooling in the article.

critique: The question can't be answered because there is no information about conventional air cooling in the text.


text:
*This is my first attempt at a short story. If it's well liked I'll post the other parts as we go along, but feel free to tell me any glaring errors you see etc. I'm writing this for fun, possibly something more if it comes to that but for now it's my way of unwinding. Let me know what you think, and enjoy!*

The heat of the day barreled down on the less, their brows furrowed with sweat and their skin red. Shun always found comfort in their labor, the single constant thing in the short life he’s known. Well, short by technicality. He felt as if he’d lived 5 lifetimes already, the memory chips could do that to you. His had been passed down from his mother, and her mother before that.

Shun wondered at the memories locked away in his brain, not for the first time. Why hadn’t it been his father to make the sacrifice instead of his mother? He always struggled with the issue, memories of generations of women locked away in his brain so nothing surprised him anymore. Sure he was always interested, but feeling how it felt for a woman compared to what he felt, his sexual experiences were seemingly lackluster.

The less though, they always cleared his head. What a life they must lead, a life they knew was their own with no other thoughts or feelings to confuse them. They worked, and they built, and they toiled. Working with one’s own hands always seemed like it would be fulfilling, knowing your creations and accomplishments were your own. They had it easy.

He turned back to his company, a tender young thing. Scrawny although he knew she ate well, her pale skin in contrast to his light brown. He believed her name was Devi, though you never could tell the pronunciation in a name of the less.

“Now, from the beginning, what exactly is it my father wishes of me?”
Devi stared at the floor as she spoke, “Suh, he would like them new clothes put on ye, and meet the Suh Ligue at Centah Prominance.”
Shun sighed, and not entirely from his disdain of the Ligue family.

“How long have you been with us now?”

“Li’le ove a year Suh.”

“And in all this time, you haven’t lost that atrocious speech impediment?”

She paused for a brief moment before responding. “S’not an impediment Suh, me papa used ta say it’s called a accent.”

“I know what it’s called young less, what I don’t know is why you refuse to learn proper English. It’s been the international language for 136 years now.”

“Sorry Suh, I’ll… I’ll do my best.” If it was at all possible her head bowed lower to the floor than it already had been.

Shun sighed again, this time out of guilt.

“I wasn’t reproaching you; I’ve simply been on edge ever since father announced my engagement to Sayuri. The woman is gorgeous but I’ll be damned if she isn’t the most annoying twat in all of Derio. Do they marry, in the less?”

Devi looked taken aback, as if what he asked were something outrageous. She never moved or flinched, but he could always tell in her posture.

“Suh, we marry just like the Uppers. Only difference I see between us is them chips.”

He contemplated this new information, and decided to just let it go.
“That will be all, unless father gave you anything else for me.”
She began to shuffle backwards.

“No Suh, I’m to wait for you to be ready and accompany you to Central.”

With that, she exited the room. Why would father have her accompany him?

Shun walked away from the window towards his king sized bed, freshly made by Devi herself and picked up the suit his father had bought him. It was an elaborate thing, bordering on gaudy the way he saw it; a white satin button down with lace at the wrists and a red velvet vest with black swans dancing in two stripes from shoulder to hip. The jacket itself was a prime example of everything wrong with this generation’s fashion, a black as dead as night with red velvet stars sprinkled on every inch of surface.

He quickly stuffed himself into the clothing and moved to the sink to wash his face. Looking in the mirror he noticed how disheveled his hair had become. Father would want to order him a haircut, but at least with this he had full control over. After all it was his hair. He gave it a quick comb and headed for the authentic mahogany double doors that lead to the main hall, that’s when he heard the bone numbing scream.

title: [SF] One of Many - Part One

question: Theorize as to what produced the horrible scream.

answer: Because the story is science fiction, the scream may have been produced by a number of devices.

critique: While the story may be science fiction, nothing indicates anything mechanically, or computerized was responsible for the scream, it was implied to possibly be human.

critique: The passage does not mention a science fiction story.

critique: It is not stated that the story is science fiction.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that the scream was produced by a number of devices.

question: Explain when this story takes place.

answer: The story is likely set in a futuristic time period, as there are generations of "memory chips" and mentioned events like 'Centah Prominance' implies a more evolved society.

critique: The answer is vague and should be more specific.

critique: The answer should include the fact that the story is set in a post-apocalyptic world.

critique: The incorrect name for Centah Prominance is given.

critique: The answer is too vague. It should mention the year.

text: The phrasing could be more coherent.

category: coherence

question: Describe the setting of this story.

answer: The story is set in a future society where the narrator, Shun, lives. The society is divided into two classes, the less and the uppers. The less are the working class, and the uppers are the elite. The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city.

critique: The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city. is unnecessary detail.

critique: The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city. - this is inaccurate. The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city. - this is inaccurate.

critique: The answer should mention the time period.

critique: The uppers are likely also working and also toiling, on garments and helping to manufacture something. Further refinement of what these people toil over is a part of the ongoing dialogue in this passage.

critique: The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city. is unnecessary.

critique: The less and the uppers are the same thing. The less are members of the working class.

critique: The less live in a hot and dry climate, and it seems that the uppers live in a city. - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

question: Explain why Devi is shocked by Shun's inquiry.

answer: He is asking if they marry and she is shocked that he is asking her this.

critique: The question is not asking why she is shocked that he is asking her, but why she is shocked by the question.

critique: "He is asking if they marry" - this may be a reasonable response, but it is not stated in the story.

critique: The question is asking why Devi is shocked, not what the question is.

critique: The answer is inaccurate. The question is not why she is shocked, but why she is shocked.

critique: The answer is more of a thought than a direct explanation.

critique: The question is asking why she is shocked, not why he is asking.

text: The answer should mention that she is likely surprised by his preconceptions about the differences between the less and the uppers.


text:
A busy and jumbled week. A productive week. And heading into a working weekend.

Here's what I accomplished this week.

Local events: Health, faith, and arts and entertainment calendars: where to find them? Under the sections tab on the left hand side of http://www.theherald-news.com/. Click on "features" and the topics drop down. Assembled by moi.

More local events: Gotta Do It, also by me, runs each Sunday in the People section.

Community news: Again, under the sections tab, under features, and by topic. Updates are posted on these days in print and web and in web on other days as I have the time: Monday (pets), Tuesday (health), Thursday (faith), Friday (arts and entertainment), and Sunday (people).

Daily updates: I do post the briefs and calendars on Twitter during the week, so you're welcome to follow me at @Denise_Unland61.

BryonySeries stuff: I post curated content relating to the BryonySeries at @BryonySeries. And assorted related content at www.facebook.com/BryonySeries.

Thank you for reading The Herald-News. And for reading this blog. Your support is greatly appreciated.

_SIX DAYS TO REMEMBER: PLAINFIELD TEEN ONLY ONE IN THE STATE WITH THIS OPPORTUNITY_

_By Megan Schuller_

The program took place during defense week so Capitol Hill was busy that week James M. Durant IV said.

_AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE: THE POIGNANT STORY BEHIND THIS JOLIET RESTAURANT'S UNUSUAL NAME_

When the dream finally came true, Aisha Walker wasn't there to see it. She died three weeks before the grand opening on March 24, 2010.

_PETS OF THE WEEK: JULY 24_

Read the caption of each photo to find out about that pet, including where he or she can be adopted.

_MINOOKA WOMAN IS ALIVE TODAY BECAUSE 32 STRANGERS CARED_

Amy Lukasik is currently calling potential donors to schedule appointments for the councils' next blood drive on July 29 since she "can't give blood yet."

_CHANNAHON/MINOOKA KNIGHTS HOLDING BLOOD DRIVE JULY 29_

John Bukowski of Minooka is involved for two reasons. One may surprise you.

_MYSTERY DINER: JOLIET'S FRIACO'S RESTAURANT & CANTINA SERVES UP AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD_

The appetizer menu has everything from a sampler platter ($14.99) to queso fundido ($9.99) to bruschetta ($8.99 or $10.99 with shrimp) but we were up for that. There are also several varieties of nachos ($8.49 for cheese only to $13.49 for fajita nachos).

_MYSTERY DINER: SPICY OPTIONS AND TACO SPECIAL AT MORRIS' GREENHORN SALOON & EATERY_

The server was friendly and informed me immediately of the taco and margarita specials. Those will come in due time, I decided, but first I needed a drink and appetizer to start.

_BROTHER ED IS BACK IN JOLIET – AND HERE'S WHY_

Brother Ed Arambasich was just transferred to San Francisco to work with the poor when his kidneys failed.

Diagnosis: multiple myeloma. The kidneys recovered and then it was his turn.

"They asked me to come back home to the Midwest to be around my family and friends and get better," Arambasich said.

_SHE'S A LITTLE BIT COUNTRY – AND NOW YOU CAN BE, TOO_

It took two and half a years to design the barn, from creating plans to finding the right Amish crew to build it, Katy Siegel said.

"We wanted that traditional look with wood pegs," Siegel said. "There were no power tools used. There were no screws used. It's gorgeous, like they used back in the day."

_ARTWORKS: JOLIET MUSIC EDUCATOR QUARTERFINALIST FOR AWARD_

_By Jessie Spangler _

If Charles Morgan wins, he will receive a grant for JJC and attend the 60th Annual Grammy Awards in New York.

question: What kind of newspaper is the Herald News and what kind of readers does it target?

answer: The Herald News seems to target a more general range of readers (boosting faith, pursuing health, looking into the arts and entertainment), and the communities in the area. As such, it is probably quite busy conveying local news.

critique: The Herald News is a newspaper, not a blog.

critique: The answer does not address the question.

critique: "boosting faith, pursuing health, looking into the arts and entertainment"), and the communities in the area." - this sentence is almost completely incorrect. The Herald News is really just a calendar of upcoming events, including those related to faith, health, and art entertainment. As such, the newspaper's readership is mostly people who are interested in finding out about the community's local events and happenings.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The answer is correct, but it can be phrased better.


text:
The CHESTERFIELD SCHOOL DISTRICT is a community public school district that serves students in pre-kindergarten through sixth grades from Chesterfield Township in Burlington County, New Jersey, United States.

As of the 2017-18 school year, the district, comprising one school, had an enrollment of 755 students and 58.3 classroom teachers (on an FTE basis), for a student–teacher ratio of 13.0:1.[1]

The district is classified by the New Jersey Department of Education as being in District Factor Group “GH”, the third-highest of eight groupings. District Factor Groups organize districts statewide to allow comparison by common socioeconomic characteristics of the local districts. From lowest socioeconomic status to highest, the categories are A, B, CD, DE, FG, GH, I and J.[2]

Public school students in seventh through twelfth grades attend the schools of the Northern Burlington County Regional School District, which also serves students from Mansfield Township, North Hanover Township and Springfield Township, along with children of United States Air Force personnel based at McGuire Air Force Base.[3][4] The schools in the district (with 2017-18 enrollment data from the National Center for Education Statistics[5]) are Northern Burlington County Regional Middle School[6] with 834 students in grades 7 - 8 and Northern Burlington County Regional High School[7] with 1,335 students in grades 9-12.[8] Both schools are in the Columbus section of Mansfield Township. Using a formula that reflects the population and the value of the assessed property in each of the constituent municipalities, taxpayers in Chesterfield Township pay 21.6% of the district's tax levy, with the district's 2013-14 budget including $35.6 million in spending.[9]

History

In December 2007, voters approved a referendum under which the district would spend $37.7 million to construct a new school building.[10] The new school opened in January 2011, after having been pushed back from an original target opening date of September 2010.[11] Costs related to the construction of the new school building and growing enrollment led to an increase in 8.6% in the local tax levy in the 2011-12 budget, which had grown to $9.4 million.[12]

Schools

-   Chesterfield Elementary School had an enrollment of 751 students in grades PreK-6 as of the 2017-18 school year.[13]
    -   Michael Mazzoni, Principal[14]

Administration

Core members of the district's administration are:[15][16]

-   Scott Heino, Superintendent[17]
-   Patricia Austin, Interim Business Administrator / Board Secretary

The district's board of education has five members who set policy and oversee the fiscal and educational operation of the district through its administration. As a Type II school district, the board's trustees are elected directly by voters to serve three-year terms of office on a staggered basis, with either one or two seats up for election each year held (since 2012) as part of the November general election.[18][19]

[1] District information for Chesterfield Township School District, National Center for Education Statistics. Accessed November 1, 2019.

[2] NJ Department of Education District Factor Groups (DFG) for School Districts, New Jersey Department of Education. Accessed November 10, 2014.

[3] Northern Burlington County Regional School District 2015 Report Card Narrative, New Jersey Department of Education. Accessed May 31, 2016. “The Northern Burlington County Regional Middle School and High School are located in Mansfield Township. Its constituent elementary districts are Chesterfield, Mansfield, North Hanover, and Springfield Townships. In addition, the district serves the Children of United States military personnel stationed at Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst.”

[4] Esposito, Martha. “Discover Burlington County 2013: Regional School Districts”, _Burlington County Times_, April 26, 2015. Accessed May 31, 2016. “Northern Burlington County Regional - Serves: Chesterfield, Mansfield, North Hanover, Springfield, Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst”

[5] School Data for the Northern Burlington County Regional School District, National Center for Education Statistics. Accessed November 1, 2019.

[6] Northern Burlington County Regional Middle School, Northern Burlington County Regional School District. Accessed February 13, 2020.

[7] Northern Burlington County Regional High School, Northern Burlington County Regional School District. Accessed February 13, 2020.

[8] New Jersey School Directory for the Northern Burlington County Regional School District, New Jersey Department of Education. Accessed December 29, 2016.

[9] Zimmaro, Mark. “Sharp tax increase included in Northern Burlington budget”, _Burlington County Times_, April 8, 2013. Accessed November 10, 2014. “The $35.6 million budget represents a 2.7 percent increase from last year's spending plan.... Tax rates in sending districts are determined using a state equalization formula that takes into account factors such as population and assessed values. Based on the formula, Chesterfield taxpayers fund 21.6 percent of Northern Burlington's tax levy, Mansfield 46.5 percent, North Hanover 14.2 percent and Springfield 17.7 percent.”

[10] Hayes, Melissa. “Chesterfield voters approve $37M school”, _Burlington County Times_, December 12, 2007. Accessed January 16, 2012. “Voters yesterday approved borrowing $37.7 million to build an elementary school, but rejected spending an additional $970,106 to expand the gymnasium.”

[11] Chesterfield School District 2013 Report Card Narrative, New Jersey Department of Education. Accessed November 10, 2014. “In response to this growth, the district opened a new, state-of-the-art school in January 2011.”

[12] O'Sullivan, Jeannie. “New school costs and enrollment drive up taxes in Chesterfield”, _Burlington County Times_, April 13, 2011. Accessed January 16, 2012. “Taxes would rise under the Board of Education's proposed $9.4 million budget, which must manage anticipated enrollment growth and the costs of the district's new three-story school. The 2011-12 spending plan comes with a $7.9 million tax levy, an increase of $627,098, and a tax rate of $1.105 per $100 of assessed property value.”

[13] School Data for the Chesterfield Elementary School, National Center for Education Statistics. Accessed November 1, 2019.

[14]

[15] _2019-2020 Family Handbook_, Chesterfield Elementary School. Accessed February 13, 2020.

[16] New Jersey School Directory for Burlington County, New Jersey Department of Education. Accessed December 29, 2016.

[17] Superintendent, Chesterfield Elementary School. Accessed February 13, 2020.

[18] New Jersey Boards of Education by District Election Types - 2018 School Election, New Jersey Department of Education, updated February 16, 2018. Accessed January 26, 2020.

[19] Board of Education, Chesterfield School District. Accessed February 13, 2020.

title: Chesterfield School District (New Jersey)

question: What does the article say about state-wide and national college enrollment rates?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer is not relevant to the question.

critique: The majority of the information in the response is not related to the question.

critique: No answer is given, but the article does not discuss college enrollment rates.

critique: The question is not explicitly answered by the text, but some rates are given.

question: What does the article say about the education quality of the schools in Chesterfield School District?

answer: Nothing specifically

critique: The answer is incorrect. There is information on the district's school buildings.

critique: It is omitted that the district is classified by the New Jersey Department of Education as being in District Factor Group “GH”, the third-highest of eight groupings. District Factor Groups organize districts statewide to allow comparison by common socioeconomic characteristics of the local districts. From lowest socioeconomic status to highest, the categories are A, B, CD, DE, FG, GH, I and J.

critique: The article does discuss the education quality of the schools in the district

critique: The answer is wrong. The article does discuss the education quality of the schools in Chesterfield School District.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article does mention the education quality of the schools in Chesterfield School District.

critique: It is omitted that the schools in the district are of high quality.

critique: The district's schools score well on the National Center for Education Statistics.

critique: The answer is unsatisfactory as it does not point out the answer in the article.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article does mention the quality of the district's schools.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article does mention the education quality of the schools.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article mentions the quality of education in the district.

critique: No specifics on quality of education is given, but there is sufficient description which may help answer the question.

critique: The answer is wrong. The answer should be "There is no information on the quality of education in the district".

question: Summarize the political and administrative organization of the Chesterfield School District.

answer: The district has a board of five members who set policy and oversee the fiscal and education operation of the district. Each year, two or three of them are elected directly by voters.

critique: The answer misstates the number of members on the school board and the number of seats that are elected each year.

critique: The number of board members is only set by the superintendent as a subsection of the larger number (5), which is not stated in the article.

critique: The answer should mention the staggered terms.

critique: The board's number of members is wrong, and the details about the staggered terms are not necessary for the question.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its wording.

critique: The answer omits the district's superintendent and business administrator.

critique: The answer omits the superintendent and interim business administrator.

critique: The number of board members is irrelevant.

critique: The district board of education does not oversee fiscal and educational operations. Instead, it sets policy.

critique: The answer should mention the district's superintendent.

critique: The model's answer is not clear and needs to be rephrased.

critique: The board is elected; however, each year, only one or two of them are elected.

critique: Nothing here is stated about the structure of the school administration, how it fits in with the district as a whole.

critique: The board seats must be filled in every election, not for every year.

question: What does the article say about the characteristics of the students and their families in the Chesterfield School District?

answer: No answer

critique: The response does not include any details from the article.

critique: The answer is not accurate. The question is answered in the text.

critique: It is omitted that about 58.3 classroom teachers were employed at the time of the year and the school is classified as being in District Factor Group “GH”.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.


text:
[Teach Java in 21 Days]Free download Teach Yourself Java in 21 Days in PDF written by Laura Lemay, Charles L. Perkins and published by Sams.net.

According to the Authors, “This book teaches you all about the Java language and how to use it to create applets and applications. By the time you get through with this book, you’ll know enough about Java to do just about anything, inside an applet or out. This book is intended for people with at least some basic programming background, which includes people with years of programming experience or people with only a small amount of experience. If you understand what variables, loops, and functions are, you’ll be just fine for this book. The sorts of people who might want to read this book include you, if:

-   You’re a real whiz at HTML, understand CGI programming (in perl, Apple Script, Visual Basic, or some other popular CGI language) pretty well, and want to move on to the next level in Web page design.
-   You had some Basic or Pascal in school and you have a basic grasp of what programming is, but you’ve heard Java is easy to learn, really powerful, and very cool.
-   You’ve programmed C and C++ for many years, you’ve heard this Java thing is becoming really popular and you’re wondering what all the fuss is all about.
-   You’ve heard that Java is really good for Web-based applets, and you’re curious about how good it is for creating more general applications.

What if you know programming, but you don’t know object-oriented programming? Fear not. This book assumes no background in object-oriented design. If you know object-oriented programming, in fact, the first couple of days will be easy for you.

This book is intended to be read and absorbed over the course of three weeks. During each week, you’ll read seven chapters that present concepts related to the Java language and the creation of applets and applications.

Teach Yourself Java in 21 Days describes Java primarily in its current state—what’s known as the beta API (Application Programming Interface). This is the version of Java that Netscape and other browsers, such as Spyglass’s Mosaic, support. A previous version of Java, the alpha API, was significantly different from the version described in this book, and the two versions are not compatible with each other. There are other books that describe only the alpha API, and there may still be programs and browsers out there that can only run using alpha Java programs.
Teach Yourself Java in 21 Days uses primarily Java beta because that is the version that is most current and is the version that will continue to be used in the future. The alpha API is obsolete and will eventually die out. If you learn Java using beta API, you’ll be much better prepared for any future changes (which will be minor) than if you have to worry about both APIs at once.
Java is still in development. “Beta” means that Java is not complete and that things may change between the time this book is being written and the time you read this. Keep this in mind as you work with Java and with the software you’ll use to create and compile programs. If things aren’t behaving the way you expect, check the Web sites mentioned at the end of this introduction for more information.
Teach Yourself Java in 21 Days covers the Java language and its class libraries in 21 days, organized as three separate weeks. Each week covers a different broad area of developing Java applets and applications.

Table of Contents

1.  An Introduction to Java Programming
2.  Object Oriented Programming and Java
3.  Java Basics
4.  Working with Objects
5.  Arrays, Conditional and Loops
6.  Creating Classes and Applications in Java
7.  More About Methods
8.  Java Applet Basics
9.  Graphics, Fonts and Color
10. Simple Animation and Threads
11. More Animation, Images and Sound
12. Managing Simple Events and Interactivity
13. The Java Abstract Windowing Toolkit
14. Windows, Networking and Other Tidbits
15. Modifiers
16. Packages and Interfaces
17. Exceptions
18. Multi-Threading
19. Streams
20. Native Methods and Libraries
21. Under the Hood

    A. Language Summary

    B. Class Hierarchy Diagrams

    C. The Java Class Library

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question: Summarize the conditions under which someone could really learn from this book.

answer: Someone could really learn from this book if they have some basic programming experience or have high HTML programming competence. Object oriented programming knowledge is not a required to learn from the book nor even to the basic programming background requirement. The book is described as teaching enough about the Java language to be able to do just about anything. Because both the alpha and beta versions of the Java language are being discussed, the comprehensive coverage of the book will be knowledge sufficient to accommodate beginners as well.

critique: The answer is too long, and it incorrectly mentions that object-oriented programming is not a requirement.

critique: While the book does teach enough about the Java language to be able to do just about anything, it is sorely not enough for a beginner. Especially an object-oriented programmer.

critique: Beta API version is not mentioned in the passage.

text: Remove the reference to the versions of Java to be used by removing the complete final sentence of the response. It is not part of the answer to the question.

refinement: Someone could really learn from this book if they have some basic programming experience or have high HTML programming competence. Object oriented programming knowledge is not a required to learn from the book nor even to the basic programming background requirement. The book is described as teaching enough about the Java language to be able to do just about anything. Because both the alpha and beta versions of the Java language are being discussed, the comprehensive coverage of the book will be knowledge sufficient to accommodate beginners as well.

question: Summarize the history of Java as a programming language.

answer: No answer

critique: The article mentions that Java is still in development, so it cannot be said to have a history.

critique: The text has lots of history on Java, while this response is incorrectly silent. This response needs to be re-written.

critique: The answer should mention the alpha and beta APIs.

critique: The response misses to provide a response to the task.


text:
It wasn't that he was boring, but he had a grey disposition that lacked the color of spontaneity. Dez liked to race cars under the yellow glow of LA street lamps when Tory met him, but now people called him Desmond and he had no time for such impetuous acts. It's true that Tory had grown fond of the carte blanche that her black card afforded her and the charity dinners stimulated her, but the thrills in her life were limited by the creativity of the latest Bond film. She made a habit of reassuring herself how lucky she was, but she found herself increasingly difficult to convince. However, the thoughts of the comfort and safety Desmond provided were enough to calm most impulses.

They were staying in The Victoria in Rio. Tory had never liked her given name, although she could appreciate the refined qualities of this hotel; it was much nicer than the one they had stayed at just down the road a year before.

As he lowered his Wall Street Journal, Desmond glanced superficially out the window. He thought briefly about the misfortune of those in the favelas. They live each day without knowing when they might be caught in the crossfire of their existence, he concluded. His own life had gone exactly as planned. His pride was buoyed by his two Princeton degrees and an impressive CV that was anchored by his latest position as Chief Financial Officer. For a moment he thought about how lucky Tory must feel to have captured his attention, but then he reminded himself not to be too proud. Besides, she was as much a catch as he. Her beauty was more rare than the flawless yellow diamond on her left hand. She was the type of girl that would cause an ordinary man to choke on a conversation, yet he had bravely taken her up with charm and confidence.  "We're leaving in 5 minutes," Tory interjected. The humidity made her blouse stick to her curves and her sexuality was impossible to ignore. He couldn't remember where she had said they were going, but he pulled on his khakis and loafers.

When the old Volkswagen finally arrived at the top of the hill,the view was astounding. Marcelo, the tan, smooth-talking tour guide pointed out the geography below. Tory watched as his defined arms drew imaginary lines all over the bay and rugged peaks. It was truly a remarkable site. Marcelo and his partner were experienced in dealing with Americans; always the same questions about the safety of hang gliding. He would usually explain that in the wrong hands, the wing could be very dangerous but that they had some of the best safety records in the world. It was true that there had only been one accident before, and it was a result of a panicked passenger rather than the pilot.

Desmond was terrified. However, his face showed nothing but a confident expression. Through various nerve-wracking business interactions he had perfected the art of hiding his true feelings and he was glad to apply those skills in this situation. When they got in the beat up VW earlier that morning, Desmond asked Marcelo where they were headed. When he responded that they would be hang gliding over the city, Desmond immediately said there must be a mistake. "The mistake is that I married someone who can no longer excite me"  Tory blurted out. She was no longer satisfied by comfort, and as the words escaped her mouth Desmond felt a dull pain in his gut; the kind that comes when you realize a loved-one has been ashamed of you for longer than you would like to imagine. Now was his time to prove her wrong. He would be the first to go and when he got to the bottom he would demand that Tory respect him for the man he is.

Marcelo's partner would jump with Desmond. As she watched them suit up, Tory began to feel that maybe she had misjudged Desmond's complacency. She thought that he may just needed some encouragement to get out of his comfort zone; after all, he worked most days 9-5, and perhaps it was too harsh to blame him for wanting to relax. As she watched him jump she grew excited to see him at the bottom and share in the thrill of what she was about to endure.

As quickly as Dez had disappeared below the horizon of the cliff, she felt her legs give out and watched the ground race towards her. Marcelo had punched the back of her head and before she could regain her wits she was being dragged by her hair across the dirt launching pad and into the woods. They were alone, but she screamed as loudly as she could. Marcelo kicked her in the ribs. She continued to struggle as he ripped open her blouse to reveal her full breasts that he had been imagining all day and then he pulled her shorts around her knees. He grew tired of her screams so he flipped her over and shoved her face in the dirt.

As he landed on the beach, Dez felt an immense sense of relief and a rush of adrenaline like he hadn't felt since before he met Tory. He couldn't restrain himself from a spontaneous hug with his guide. As he looked back towards where they had come from he noticed that Victoria had yet to jump. "I knew she wouldn't have the guts to do it! She's all talk!" he exclaimed10 minutes later. He felt victorious. "Why don't you drop me back at the hotel so I can get a drink. I want Victoria to think about this on her own for a while." His guide obliged.

title: Jump (first short story)

question: Why does Dez not worry when Torie fails to follow him to the bottom?

answer: Because he has already decided that she'll chicken out on him. He has yet to convince himself that he can conquer her doubts.

critique: He had already convinced himself that he could conquer her doubts

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: There is no indication that he's tried to convince or convince himself of anything.

critique: It is omitted that Dez is confident that Torie does not have the guts to follow him.

critique: "He had already decided that she'll chicken out on him. He has yet to convince himself that he can conquer her doubts." - it seems that the answer is pretty much the same response as the one to the question.

critique: He already knows that Tory was bluffing; that she is not meant for skydiving.

critique: The answer does not answer the question.

critique: "He had already decided that she'll chicken out on him" is inaccurate. It should be "He had already decided that she would chicken out on him."

critique: The answer misses the point that he believes that she won't jump because she's a coward.

question: How does Torie feel about her current lifestyle?

answer: She feels like a stay at the hotel is not enough. She does a lot of charity work and tries too hard to impress other people but also tries to justify her life in order to continue with her marriage with Des. She thinks her husband is grey and dull.

critique: She doesn't have a husband yet, but she is married to Des and they are on their honeymoon.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The answer is not coherent. It should be rewritten.

critique: "She does a lot of charity work and tries too hard to impress other people but also tries to justify her life in order to continue with her marriage with Des. She thinks her husband is grey and dull." - the last part of the answer is inaccurate. The book has not yet mentioned anything about Torie trying to impress anyone.

critique: "She thinks her husband is grey and dull." - this is inaccurate. She thinks her husband is boring.

critique: It's omitted that she feels like she's missing out.

critique: The answer includes too much information.

critique: It is not stated that she does a lot of charity work and tries too hard to impress other people.

critique: She doesn't try to impress other people.

critique: The passage does not describe her feelings about her husband, but her feelings about her lifestyle.

critique: Extra commas aren't needed in this sentence.

question: How do Dez's and Torie's ideas of her life differ?

answer: Dez imagines a life of excitement, but his was borne of privilege. Torie lives a life based on security and comfort. When they arrived at the destination of their adventurous exploits in Hang Gliding, although Torie wanted to experience a sense of thrill, her head had been injured by Marcelo by then. Dez on the other hand thrives on the freedom of flying. He was so happy that he went out and had fun drinking after hanging on the edge of a cliff. However, approximately ten minutes after, Torie noticed that Dez had gone home.

critique: The second sentence is not accurate, and the third sentence is not relevant to the question.

critique: The answer is a jumble of sentences that do not make sense.

critique: The response is not related to the question.

critique: "When they arrived at the destination of their adventurous exploits in Hang Gliding, although Torie wanted to experience a sense of thrill, her head had been injured by Marcelo by then. Dez on the other hand thrives on the freedom of flying. He was so happy that he went out and had fun drinking after hanging on the edge of a cliff. However, approximately ten minutes after, Torie noticed that Dez had gone home" is inaccurate and irrelevant.

critique: There is no evidence to suggest that Dez went home.

critique: It is not true that her head was injured by Marcelo by then.

critique: The final sentence is inaccurate as Dez goes home via taxi, not to "go home". "fun drinking after hanging on the edge of a cliff" is inaccurate.

critique: The answer is a jumble of sentences that don't make sense.

critique: The second part of the answer is unrelated to the rest of the response. This part should be removed.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: I think Torie's injury is a bit of a stretch. It was in the pursuit of thrill.

critique: The response contains some inaccurate information. It should be rewritten.

critique: There is no evidence that the narrator knew Dez went home.

question: How does Dez react to the rape of his wife?

answer: He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her.

critique: It's omitted that he's happy because he believes she won't be able to handle the experience.

critique: "He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her." - Dez is not ecstatic about the rape. He was just thrilled that he got to do something that his wife was too scared to do.

critique: I omitted to factor in the implied, but probably more accurate, build-up to the final rebuke summary response (which, given the setup in the story and his surname, is probably the author's intention).

critique: He is also ecstatic because he thinks he has won that battle of their marriage.

critique: "He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her." - the answer is incomplete. It should say that he's ecstatic because he's the one who will be able to say that he's braver than his wife.

critique: "He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her" - this response is inaccurate, as Dez is not ecstatic but rather in relief.

critique: "He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her." - is incorrect because Dez is not ecstatic about the rape. He's glad that he was able to prove her wrong about his courage.

critique: The sentence structure is awkward and unattractive.

critique: The answer doesn't mention that he also feels a sense of relief.

critique: The answer could be clearer as to why he is ecstatic.

critique: The answer should mention that he's ecstatic because he believes his wife will be humiliated.

text: The response misses to mention that the text doesn't mention how Dez reacts to the rape of his wife because he does not yet know about it.

refinement: He's ecstatic, because he knows it will humiliate her.


text:
Butcher's got three eyes.

I know this because I was playing in the sausages kept all coiled up like a great big snake in one of those rolling recycling bins that look like a giant robot foot all turned upside-down.

I was pretending it was a swimming pool and balanced myself on the side on all fours like one of those cartoons where that stupid cat in the funnies doesn't wanna take a bath and he keeps getting pushed in so he puts out all his legs and presses up so he doesn't touch the water. I was doin it like that and pretending I was one of those Olympic swimmers cept I was in my undies and not a speedo and it was a buncha sausage not water.
Anyway I was crouching over it like that and I dipped my toe into the great big thing of sausage and Butcher's choppin up a pig on this cold slab in the middle of the room and not even looking at me when I hear "Wutcha doin back there Tony? I got one big evil eye in the back of my head ya know" and it spooked me so hard that I fell in. There's sausage everywhere I look. I was drownin in this meat and Butcher don't even lend a hand. Just took that great big knife and kept slappin the back of that pig's neck with it. So I start feelin my way out of the strings and climb up out of the pool into the "Industrial Cooling and Freezing Apparatus" as Butcher likes to call it (cause Butcher's so damn proud of getting this big-ass freezer) and haul my ass out on to the floor and at this point I'm dyin of hypothermia. My clothes are still upstairs in the apartment and to get up there I gotta get past Butcher so I gotta make a distraction.

Butcher's smackin away at that pig's neck so I run back and look at the conveyor line with all them pigs hangin on hooks like an undiscovered species of fish that you just caught twenty of. I figure I can grab onto this pig and ride it right past Butcher to the stairway so I take a running start and leap onto this pig's big blubbery body and dig my fingernails into his creepy dead skin to hang on. With my left leg I smack the button behind me and vroom off goes the conveyer line into the front of the store and that's when Butcher turned around to see all those pigs flyin through the air stinkin up the place like a piggy morgue. I'm hangin on tight to this mad pig in my skivvies feeling like I'm gonna die and then I hear a fat "rrrrrippp!" comin from my pig and it falls off the hook near the staircase.

I'm trapped under this giant pig and Butcher looks maaaad. The conveyor line stopped and Butcher sees my fallen pig and my stupid face out under it and grabs me by the ear and hoists me up. I can feel the skin at the bottom of my ear starting to separate from my head like the pig from the hook and it's so soft but so close to my ear that I can hear it echo in my head. "Rrrrrripp!" I start screaming and crying and Butcher puts me down and slaps me across the face.

"You just cost me a pig boy!" She says in her big tough voice and throws her Butcher knife in the pig on the floor next to me. It sinks in deep into the flesh with a little trickle of juices.

"Sorry Butcher." I say, rubbing my ear. "I was just horsing around."

"As long as I'm the person that carried you, you will call my Mother in my shop!"

"Okay Ma."

She smacks me again.

My face lands in the face of the pig, its dead eyes looking back it me, tongue lolling out the side. The snout on my cheek feels unreal. Like when I touched my father's nose at his funeral in the backyard. My grubby little hand felt down his forehead and to his nose, all rubbery and cold before Butcher said that I need to "Get the fuck back in the house before you make a scene." So I sat in my room while Butcher dug a hole for him in his best suit to cover up the gun holes in his chest.

"MOTHER." Says Butcher looking me in the eye. "Say it with me."

"Muh-ther." We both say, me mumbling with her shouting.

Butcher goes back to choppin her meat up and I stumble upstairs clutchin my ear to see if there's anything besides pork chops to eat.

There ain't.

title: Butcher

question: Why does the narrator have difficulty calling the Butcher his mother?

answer: The narrator has a hard time calling the Butcher his mother because he is a boy and she is a woman.

critique: The narrator is male, but the Butcher is female.

critique: The narrator is a boy, but the Butcher is a woman.

critique: It is not stated that the narrator has a hard time calling the Butcher his mother because he is a boy and she is a woman.

critique: Because she is a fat, mean, strict butcher.

critique: It's not clear that the narrator is a boy.

critique: The narrator is a boy, but the Butcher is a man.


text:
_'Edmund (or EDMOND) Meyrick_' (or MEYRICKE) (1636 – 24 April 1713) was a Welsh cleric and benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name. He is a member of the Meyrick family.

Life

Meyrick was born at Garthlwyd, Llandderfel (near Bala, Merionethshire) and christened in Llandderfel on 11 June 1636. He attended four schools, including one year at Ruthin School, before matriculating at Jesus College, Oxford in 1656. He was elected to a scholarship in 1658 and obtained his BA degree in 1659.[1] He was ordained both deacon and priest by Robert Skinner, Bishop of Oxford, on 30 August 1660 in the chapel of New College, Oxford.[2] In 1662, he was elected to a probationary Fellowship of the college, but married in 1663 and became ineligible for a full fellowship. He became vicar of Eynsham on 10 August 1663.[3] He was chaplain to Richard, Earl of Carbery — the Meyricks and the Carberys being related – and this connection led to Meyrick's appointment to a number of lucrative positions in West Wales.[4] Meyrick became vicar of Llangathen in 1665, vicar of Llanegwad and a Canon of St David's Cathedral in 1667, rector of Burton, Pembrokeshire in 1670, treasurer of St David's in 1690 and rector of Penboyr in 1713. He was also a canon of Christ College, Brecon and vicar of Carmarthen; he held many of these positions at the same time. He died in Carmarthen, where he was then living, on 24 April 1713, and was buried in St Peter's Church; a memorial to him was placed on the north wall of the chancel.[5]

Bequests

Meyrick's wife and only child had predeceased him, enabling a more generous disposition of his assets.[6] He had extensive property interests, in both North and South Wales. The family seat was in Ucheldre, Gwyddelwern, Merionethshire and Meyrick also owned several houses in Carmarthen.[7] In 1708, he set up a charity school in Carmarthen but for some reason directed in his will that the school and master should be moved to Bala, where it became the Bala Grammar School.[8] The will provided for an annual payment of £15 to the schoolmaster together with the use of the schoolhouse, and £15 per year for clothing for the students.[9]

His will, dated 25 March 1712, said: He left family property in Denbighshire and Merionethshire, as well as his Carmarthen property after expiration of some life interests, to the college to provide six scholarships of £10 and six exhibitions of £8. The scholarships and exhibitions were to be awarded to Jesus College students from North Wales, until they obtained their Master of Arts degree or were receiving more than £40 per year from a parish appointment. Any surplus was to be used to buy advowsons so that the College might present one of the scholars (or in default of a suitable scholar, a Meyrick exhibitioner or a North Wales fellow of the College) to a parish position.[10] Whilst the estate produced a surplus, only one living was purchased by the trustees, that of the rectory of Llandow in 1735. Further increases in the surplus led to an increase in payments to Bala School and to the scholars and exhibitioners, and to the purchase of other property in Cheltenham and Carmarthen.[11][12] This proved to be a profitable investment since, by 1840, the college had received more than £10,000 through the sale of trust land near Cheltenham for railway purposes. Payments to Bala School ended in 1862, when the annual payments were commuted for a lump-sum payment of £5,333.[13]

Meyrick scholarships and exhibitions are still awarded to students at Jesus College, based on academic merit. Students performing consistently at a first-class standard during the year in the opinion of their tutors may be awarded a Meyrick scholarship, with consistent performance at upper second to first-class standard potentially leading to the award of a Meyrick exhibition.[14] The restriction in Meyrick's bequest that the scholarships were for students from North Wales only was relaxed in 1857 to cover students from all of Wales and Monmouthshire.[15][16] The restrictions have been further relaxed and students who were not born in Wales are also now eligible for a Meyrick scholarship or exhibition if they are the child of a native of Wales, are able to speak Welsh or they were educated for the last three years of secondary school in Wales.[17]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13] Baker, p. 62

[14]

[15]

[16] Hardy, p. 197

[17]

title: Edmund Meyrick

question: Describe Meyrick's relationship to Wales.

answer: He appears to have had strong ties to Wales. He attended schools there, was a clergyman there, and owned a house there.

critique: He is buried in Wales, which may be more indicative of the strength of the relationship to Wales.

critique: It is omitted that he was also a member of the Meyrick family.

critique: "He appears to have had strong ties to Wales" is not a very specific answer to the question. It would be better to rewrite the answer completely.

critique: Meyrick had extensive property interests in North and South Wales.

critique: He also held several positions in West Wales.

critique: The response misses to mention that he was also a benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name.

critique: It would help if it is stated that Meyrick was a clergyman based in West Wales.

critique: It should be pointed out that his most lucrative connections were in West Wales, not all of Wales

critique: Meyrick also received many lucrative positions in West Wales.

critique: He also seems to have had an extensive property portfolio in Wales.

critique: This is an accurate fact, but it does not show the extent of Meyrick's relationship to Wales.

critique: Meyrick was a clergyman in Wales, but the answer should mention that he was also a benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford.

critique: The response misses to mention that Meyrick was a Welsh cleric and benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name.

question: When did Meyrick live?

answer: 1636 to 1713

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.

critique: The answer should give the dates in a proper format.

critique: He died in 1713, but this doesn't mean that he was born in 1636.

critique: The answer should be written in a full sentence.

critique: Include the month and year of Meyrick's death in the answer.

critique: It is omitted that he was born in 1636 and died in 1713.


text:
   "Shut the fuck up, lets roll!"

   "Wut!?"

   "Step away from the crack pipe I mean my drums or we'll be late, dipshit!"

   "Oh yeah..."

...

   Bael was the last bicycle allowed across the bridge.  The officer crossed the roadway after Bael passed and said to Rael,

   "Pedestrians aren't allowed on the bridge as the cruiser passes under."

   "But that's my brother there that you let cross ahead of me."  It was nearly a hundred yards before Bael realized Rael wasn't following.  He stopped and noticed the officer had crossed the roadway to talk with Rael, then eventually let her pass. As she rode closer she shouted, "We can't be on the bridge when the boat passes."  Bael didn't think that they would get such a surreal view of a Navy ship steaming up the Willamette.  He thought it was strange to see a military ship. This was new for him, Bael hadn't lived in a Port city before. For the rest of the ride he thought of what it would look like to see war at home. Then snapped out of it and gave thanks to his great friends for hauling his heavy instrument around.

   Rael usually stood in the center of the room whenever and where ever Bael's band played.  She stood in the center of the room at any show. In fact, she just liked being in the center of rooms. At first it was of an OCD nature, where she had to be in the center of the room for some geometrical reason that even she hardly understood.  As she grew out of her minor obsessive compulsive tendencies and listened to more live music she found that the center of the room usually sounded the best in her opinion.  Occasionally there was an incompetent sound engineer running the sound system.  Rael being somewhat obsessive compulsive, and controlling would have to ask if the engineer would lower or raise the sound of an instrument, or adjust the high or low frequency levels.  Rael was kind of weirded out by this particular peculiar sound engineer.  He had a strange way of staring at her, and when she first noticed, he looked away suddenly then back in her direction but not directly at her as if he hadn't been staring at all.  This had been going on since she arrived. He was always staring at her if she looked in his direction.

   "Bael, tell the sound guy to cut some of the lows when you guys play, it sounds like shit. I would but he's fucking weird." The music was loud and Rael had to lean close to her brothers ear.

   "Haa!" She just stared at him and Bael realized she was serious, he nodded once. "...ok." He said to himself.  Bael went straight to the engineer and without thinking twice leaned in and said.

   "You see my girl over there?" Rael was watching confused, angered and embarrassed as her brother pointed her out.  The engineer sat up straight and stared emotionless at Rael. "She asked me to ask you if you're down to fuck. :D  We like you, oh and when my band plays next could you turn down the low frequencies a little?" The engineer turned to Bael with his brow scrunched, confusion and excitement and skepticism wrinkled throughout his face.

   "Uh what? ...yeah, I mean, really? I can turn down the lows sure... uh are you fucking with me? what, a threesome?"

   "Thanks, man.  Yeah a threesome, dude.  You look fun, at least have a drink with us?" The engineer pondered the proposition for nearly a minute, laughing to himself while staring at Rael who was still watching.

   "Fuck you, I don't believe you. You're fucking with me." He turned towards Rael and laughed, then back towards the sound board. "Nice try."

   "Sorry, man just messing around, didn't mean to offend you or anything, thanks for running the sound." The engineer nodded and looked back at the stage as Bael turned and walked back to his curious sister.

   "What the fuck did you say to him, dipshit?"

   "Just told him I was your manager and you do private dances, wanna make some money tonight?"

   "I'll fucking stab you!" She lunged at him and started punching his chest and stomach.

   "Whoa, don't worry lil' sis he doesn't have the cash!" He said while deflecting fists.

   "You're band is like a bunch of amateurs compared to them."  She gestured towards the stage and  Bael laughed.  He didn't care if it was true, this band was killing it.

title: Fucking Rockstars.

question: What does the story say about the relationship Bael has with his sister?

answer: Bael and his sister Rael seem to have a very good relationship. They love each other enough to be comfortable with poking light fun at each other, calling each other names and pretending to be other people. They also seem to be quite close to each other. Rael is angry that Bael was flirting with the sound engineer. However, Bael doubts she would stab him. They seem to be secure enough in their relationship that they don't take offense at the other's jokes or claim to rock harder than the other.

critique: The answer should mention that Rael is protective of Bael.

text: It is not stated that they are calling each other names and pretending to be other people, that Rael is angry; that Bael is flirting with the sound engineer.

question: What does the story say about the popularity of Bael's band?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story doesn't say anything about the popularity of the band.

critique: The answer should be that the story doesn't say anything about the band's popularity.

critique: The answer should mention that the story doesn't mention the popularity of the band.

critique: The answer should mention that the story does not talk about the popularity of Bael's band.

question: Summarize all instances of characters lying.

answer: Bael tells the sound engineer that Rael is his girlfriend and that she does private dances. He also tells him that she is a manager. Rael is angry at Bael for lying to the sound engineer.

critique: "Bael tells the sound engineer that Rael is his girlfriend and that she does private dances. He also tells him that she is a manager. Rael is angry at Bael for lying to the sound engineer." - the mothership asks to see a yes vote and there are several other details missing. Rewrite the answer following the question's guidelines for accuracy.

critique: The answer should mention that the engineer doesn't believe them.