text:
The flame has flickered out on Ballarat's popular Carols by Candlelight service, which has been cancelled after almost 50 years largely because of a lack of volunteer support.

With hundreds of hours of organisation and preparation required for the annual Christmas singalong, the work had fallen to just a handful of volunteers from the churches of Ballarat.

Shayne Westblade from Kardinia Church said it was a hard decision, but the organising committee felt it had little choice.

  It has been an event that has brought local families together through music at such a wonderful time of the year for over 40 years.

  BALLARAT MAYOR SAMANTHA MCINTOSH

The committee's decision to cancel the Christmas tradition was posted to Facebook on Tuesday afternoon, citing lack of support through resources and finances.

"The Ballarat Carols Event has been part of the Ballarat Community for the past 40 years, it will be sadly missed. We would like to thank all Churches, Community Groups, Service providers and the people of Ballarat for their support over the years, it has been an honour to serve the community with this gift at Christmas," the committee said in their statement.

"It is with sadness that we inform the Ballarat Community that the Ballarat Carols for 2019 will not be proceeding. An event of this size requires considerable amount of support through resources and finances which despite our best efforts have not been forthcoming."

Mr Westblade said social media anger in the hours after the initial announcement had been misplaced.

"People are pointing the finger at council but it's not a result of council funding, it's simply resourcing," Mr Westblade said.

  Unless it's taken up by some other organisation it's going to deprive the Ballarat community of carols by candlelight coming up to Christmas.

  3BA CHRISTMAS APPEAL FOUNDER PETER CALIGARI

"It was a very hard decision, a hard conversation and when the network got together to discuss this direction ... we had people who had been involved for up to 10 years.

"When you are the last man standing in the room, when no one else comes in to the room ... our resources are very slim."

Ballarat Carols has been running for 48 years, having started life in a Ballarat backyard before spending several decades known as the Eureka Carols, held in Eureka Gardens, before moving to the North Gardens and finally, Mars Stadium.

The move to Mars Stadium last year was to allow the event to grow and reduce infrastructure costs.

The previous permit to hold the event at North Gardens had capped the audience at 5000 people.

[SINGALONG: The crowd at the 2018 Carols by Candlelight event which was held for the first time at Mars Stadium. Picture: Kate Healy]

__ SINGALONG: The crowd at the 2018 Carols by Candlelight event which was held for the first time at Mars Stadium. Picture: Kate Healy

City of Ballarat mayor Samantha McIntosh said she was saddened to hear of the cancellation of the 2019 Carols by Candlelight, and thanked the committee for their work.

Council had provided $52,875 of funding toward the carols concert over the past seven years, and last year helped move the event to Mars Stadium to help remove event infrastructure costs.

"It has been an event that has brought local families together through music at such a wonderful time of the year for over 40 years," Cr McIntosh said.

"We have been contacted by the committee who have sadly come to the decision it is no longer possible for them to stage the event due mainly to a lack of the large amount of resources it involves."

Cr McIntosh said council would meet with Carols by Candlelight organisers to discuss what support it can provide to ensure the Christmas event can hopefully continue in to the future.

A GoFundMe campaignwas launched within hours of the event's cancellation, but Mr Westblade said it was unnecessary.

"It's not about the money," he said.

Until 2000 there were two separate Carols by Candlelight events in Ballarat - one held by a network of local churches and one by 3BA - but the two services merged and the 3BA Christmas Appeal became a beneficiary of the combined carols service.

3BA Christmas Appeal founder Peter Caligari said the loss of the carols would have an impact on the appeal and the agencies and people it supports.

[Peter Caligari and Ballarat deputy mayor Daniel Moloney at the launch of the 2017 3BA Christmas appeal. ]

__ Peter Caligari and Ballarat deputy mayor Daniel Moloney at the launch of the 2017 3BA Christmas appeal.

"The sad part about it is it will be a loss to the Ballarat community at Christmas and it will also represent some monetary loss to the appeal."

Mr Caligari said the already-popular Buninyong Carols by Candlelight service, which also supports the 3BA Christmas Appeal, would most likely grow as a result of the lack of a similar concert in Ballarat.

"Unless it's taken up by some other organisation it's going to deprive the Ballarat community of carols by candlelight coming up to Christmas," he said.

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question: What does the text say about the reason for canceling?

answer: The Ballarat Carols Event has been part of the Ballarat Community for the past 40 years, it will be sadly missed. The committee said in their statement that the Ballarat Carols for 2019 will not be proceeding. An event of this size requires considerable amount of support through resources and finances which despite their best efforts have not been forthcoming.

critique: The answer omits the reason for the lack of support.

critique: The response does not answer the question.

critique: They say "resources" and not "resources and finances."

critique: The answer should mention the lack of volunteer support.

question: What does the text say about Peter Caligari?

answer: Peter Caligari is the founder of the 3BA Christmas Appeal, which is a fundraiser for the Ballarat community. He launched the appeal in 2017. Caligari says the loss of the Ballarat Carols by Candlelight will have an impact on the appeal and the agencies and people it supports.

critique: The answer should go into more detail about Caligari.

critique: The answer should mention that Caligari is the founder of the 3BA Christmas Appeal.

critique: The answer should acknowledge that the Ballarat Carols by Candlelight was cancelled.

critique: The answer fails to mention that Caligari supports the Ballarat Carols by Candlelight.

critique: The response is missing a few key details about Peter Caligari.

critique: The answer should mention that Caligari is sad about the cancellation of the Ballarat Carols by Candlelight.

question: What does the text say about Ballarat?

answer: Ballarat is a city in Australia. It is known for its annual Carols by Candlelight service. The service was cancelled after almost 50 years largely because of the lack of volunteer support. The Ballarat mayor Samantha McIntosh said she was saddened to hear of the cancellation.

critique: The city was founded after the natural resources were discovered in the area.

critique: It is omitted that Ballarat is known for its Carols by Candlelight event.

critique: The answer should mention the lack of resources and finances.

critique: The answer omits that Ballarat is in Australia.

question: What does the text say about homelessness?

answer: No answer

critique: It is omitted that there is no information about homelessness in the text.

critique: "No answer" - there is no direct mention of homelessness, so answer with "no answer" or make an entire section related to homelessness that doesn't exist in the article.


split: train

text:
Anilyth
Anilyth is the world in which the Fire Dancer short story takes place and a longer form story I have plans to write (Or rewrite I guess.) I plan to do some lore background for the world later, but for now I plan to just go over some of the nations of this world, I may add some later, and those additions will be talked about once I’ve decided I’ve got the world fully developed or once I have a decent amount of them, but for now this is the world I’ve thought up so far.

An’kowrath
An ancient nation adept in magic, some of the world greatest sorcerers and warlocks come from An’kowrath, many buildings are made using magic. Some of it’s greatest spell casters are sent off to the flying city Low’nathra, there they are allowed to learn magic completely uninhibited, while other nations specialize in a specific type of magics such as soul, fire, lightning and water the citizens of An’kowrath are known to be adept in all kind of magic. Some of it’s greatest sorcerers master several magic arts during their life. Once in a generation an exceptional wizard will be recognized as a master of call magics. This person is called upon to be the leader of An’kowrath, even if they are not a native citizen of An’kowrath. The advancing of magic is at the forefront of culture in An’kowrath. It has the highest density of talented sorcerers compared to other nations.

Leondria
The country of Leondria consists of two parts, a vast desert, and it’s mountain range which stands in the middle of the country. The desert is relatively tame, the main problem for travelers is the small tribes who require payment in exchange for safe passage, although no one has been killed by the tribes those who try to enter and refuse to pay are not left in a healthy state before being removed from the country. Those who visit the country often travel there to learn with the monks who make their home on top of the Leondria Mountains, although the mountain are home to the Soul Walkers and the Soul Benders it was once also home to the Soul Channelers, but their people were decimated in a war of their own creation. Some say the war was started due to the foolishness of a young chief who was bent to the will of a Fire Dancer, but these are merely unconfirmed stories that may never be discovered since the Soul Channelers were all killed at the end of the war. Some say the king who was able to escape but he has not been seen since.

Lisanderey
An incredibly snowy landscape Lisanderey is home to some of the toughest creatures in Anilyth. It’s said that the land was once desert before a powerful sorcerer turned the land into vast plains perfect for farming, it has since become a cold and snow covered nation, only the toughest men have dared to traverse it on foot. Most travel in caravans powered by the powerful imaprose, large creatures similar to wooly mammoths. The land is unappealing and has for the most part avoided be invasion, but the few leaders who have tried to take control of the nation from its rulers have failed spectacularly due to them being unprepared for the cold climate in Lisanderey. It’s leaders have always been happy to stay within their borders and thus have armies more for the purpose of defense and to act as police for the cities. Each city has a strong sense of community, most people know everyone else in their town, those in cities know their districts and have a general feel for the other districts. Lisanderey has no rich or poor, those with money give it to those without money and the leaders are all ordinary citizens who are paid for their contributions in helping to governing the people. Lisanderey is home to the Fire Dancers, acrobatic warriors with a mastery over fire, able to conjure their own inner flame to be used against enemies or manipulation of a currently burning fire to enhance their own.

The Plains of Bantana
Vast fields of tall grass cover Bantana, the parts of this nation that aren’t covered in grass are instead the home of it’s native people, the Water Weavers. Mastery over water is the only thing that has kept them alive for so long, many attempts have been made by foreign nations to burn the tall grass in an attempt to drive out it’s citizens, but their use of water has allowed them to fight back the invaders and the fires they start. Over time the use of fire has made the plant life incredibly resistant to fires. Although it’s known for it’s talented warriors it is mainly known as a farming culture, due to it’s people mastery of water they are able to generate the best crops in the world, many other nations have attempted to invade them in the past because of this, but the nations water weavers were able to beat them back with the help of the nation's most elite soldiers the Grass Stalkers. The Grass Stalkers are known for their stealth and ability to avoid detection by hiding amongst the grass, striking when in the middle of enemy forces before diving back into grasses they came from, small squads of these elite soldiers have been known to take out an entire legion of soldiers, but their stealth skills aren’t limited of their home country. Some of them that live the longest are sent to other nation’s as spies or assassins.

The Republic of Oranthia
Although they have no native Sorcerers or Elemental Sorcerers The Republic of Oranthia makes up for this by being the most technologically advanced nation. They have not achieved this through the most ethical of paths, because they believe they are in competition with other nations they have often kidnapped the Sorcerers of other nations and forced them to test their technologies. Many captives have died during testing, but not always because they were being tested on, but more often because of exhaustion. The scientists force them to continue using their own magic until they have none left to use, but still they push them until they die from exhaustian. Many citizens live their day to day lives completely unaware of the acts perpetrated by their government, many of those who do end up leaving for another nation. On it’s surface the government appears to be democratic, but the main party doesn’t see any real competition, this is because anyone who tries to oppose them ends up dead or as an experiment.

Kamisia
The coastal nation of Kamisia is a large fishing nation, Kamisians are among the few people who brave the mighty oceans of Anilyth, their naval might in unmatched throughout the land. There are stories of single Kamisian boats taking out entire fleets, and these stories are not unfounded

title: The world of the Fire Dancer [MF]

question: Summarize An'kowrath.

answer: An'kowrath is an ancient nation adept in magic. The outstanding sorcerers of this nation are sent to acquire their education at the flying city Low'nathra. Top-notch sorcerers learn several magic arts during their lifetime. A powerful sorcerer becomes the leader of An'kowrath.

critique: The response is missing the part about An'kowrath being the nation with the highest density of talented sorcerers.

critique: The response misses to mention that the leader of An'kowrath is chosen once in a generation.

critique: The response should include that An'kowrath is a nation that is known for its high density of talented sorcerers.

critique: The response could be more specific about the leader of An'kowrath.

critique: An “outstanding sorcerer" may or may not be a leading sorcerer

critique: The response misses to mention that An'kowrath is known for its high density of talented sorcerers.

critique: The response could use clearer language.

question: Summarize Leondria.

answer: Leondria is home to monks and there is a war on the mountain ranges. It is primarily a desert, but there are monks who let travelers stay and learn with them, provided no harm comes to them in doing so. The monks learned their arts through experience and those who wish to learn are free to join.

critique: The mountain range is not the site of the war.

critique: "The monks learned their arts through experience and those who wish to learn are free to join." - this part is redundant because it's covered. This can be deleted or combined with the first sentence to make a new sentence.

critique: The order of the sentences is confusing. The second sentence is also unnecessary.

critique: "The monks learned their arts through experience and those who wish to learn are free to join." - this is inaccurate. The monks learned their arts through the monks who make their home on top of the Leondria Mountains.

critique: "There is a war on the mountain ranges" is not stated.

question: Summarize Lisanderey.

answer: Lisanderey is a snowy nation. The people there are tough to travel through. The country is happy to stay within its borders and therefore is mainly a defense nation. People know who each other are. No rich or poor; those with money give it to those without. The leaders of the cities have just ordinary lives and paid for their contributions to governing. The people are Fire Dancers.

critique: "The people there are tough to travel through." - this is inaccurate. The people of Lisanderey are tough to travel through because of the cold climate.

critique: The people are Fire Dancers, not the leaders.

critique: Doesn't mention the extended significance of being tough and water magic.

critique: It is omitted that the nation is home to the Fire Dancers, acrobatic warriors with a mastery over fire, able to conjure their own inner flame to be used against enemies or manipulation of a currently burning fire to enhance their own.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the people are Fire Dancers.

question: Summarive the Plains of Batanna

answer: Batanna is a vast land of grass, the water weavers live there. As the water weavers are master of the water, enemies had tried to burn the grass, but the water weavers were able to quell the fires. The water weavers have mastery of fire or simply use it as an element of their magic. water

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

critique: Remove the first sentence, it is not relevant

question: Summarize the Republic of Oranthia.

answer: The Republic of Oranthia does not have the same elemental magic that other Anilyth nations have. Instead, it is technologically advanced. They abide by the rule of a democratic dictator and kidnap powerful magic users from other communities in order to use them as test subjects to their inventions. The magic users rarely survive the trying ordeal and if they do, it is only for brief moments.

critique: The answer is inaccurate. The Republic of Oranthia is not a democratic dictatorship.

critique: The answer should mention that the magic users are killed by exhaustion.

critique: The Republic of Oranthia is not a democratic dictatorship.

critique: Misspellings and inaccuracy derail the accuracy of the response

critique: The answer is inaccurate. The Republic of Oranthia is not a democratic dictator.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the Republic of Oranthia is ruled by a democratic dictator.

critique: It is not stated that the magic users rarely survive the trying ordeal and if they do, it is only for brief moments.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the Republic of Oranthia is a democratic dictatorship.

question: Summarize Kamasia.

answer: The coastal nation of Kamasida is a fishing nation. The stoutness of the boats indicate a specific design and history. The naval force is the best in Anilyth.

critique: "The stoutness of the boats indicate a specific design and history." - this is incorrect. The boats are not stout. The answer should be rewritten.

critique: The answer should mention the size of the boats.

critique: "The coastal nation of Kamasida is a fishing nation." - this is inaccurate. Kamisia is the name of the nation.

critique: This is false. There is no mention of the size or sturdiness of boats

critique: "The stoutness of the boats indicate a specific design and history." - this is inaccurate. The boats aren't stout.

critique: It is not stated that the boats are stout.


text:
[New Martha's Vineyard Restaurant Eleven North Edgartown Dining Opens In August]

When I first heard that a new restaurant was going in where the old David Ryan’s was, I have to admit that I was pretty excited.  Taking up such a large piece of real estate on North Water Street, whatever it was would have quite an impact.

[]Construction began and rumors swirled around the Island.  Some said it was going to be the restaurant of a famous Boston chef (even I bought into that one), while others said that the money for the project ran out and nothing would be opening this Summer.  These and other rumors are not true. The restaurant going into that space is indeed Eleven North, named for its location on North Water Street, and it is opening in August.

Unbelievable Changes Inside An Old Island Hangout

[]Behind the project is Island restaurateur David Henry.  He and two other partners are moving full steam ahead on the project.  What many may not know is that Eleven North’s construction has taken longer than expected because of all of the custom-made, hand milled wood work inside.  There is tons of white oak throughout the renovated space, all custom.  If you’ve ever been in construction, you know that things always take longer than expected.  Now that construction is wrapping up, the wait won’t be long, and it will be worth it.

[]Before meeting with David, I was thinking about the space when it was David Ryan’s and wondering how they were going to rework it.  A two-floor restaurant is tough to be successful with.  I had heard that it was completely gutted, but I couldn’t conceive of the changes I was about to see.  The space was unrecognizable.

[]Even though things were still being finished up, it was easy to envision the final project.  When you walk in, you immediately see this gorgeous zinc tin bar with copper lining.  It’s cool and sleek and begs you to have a cocktail on it!

The seating downstairs will consist of high-top tables and chairs.  The space  is modern and simple, and loaded with custom details.  It’s going to be more of bar/lounge area with dining upstairs.  I think people are going to be quite surprised when they walk through that door.  You won’t believe how open and sophisticated the space feels – yes you read correctly, sophisticated.

[]On to the second floor, which is accessible by a new, beautiful white oak staircase, you’ll find the dining area is light and airy, and has the most amazing views of North Water Street and more, which I had never noticed before.

There’s a second bar that’s going to cause you to rethink where you are.  Did we end up at a swanky spot in the Southend instead of Edgartown?  It’s like being at a really chic bar in the city, but with a certain Island feel.  Behind the bar is a smooth white alabaster back-splash that will be highlighted with LED lights, illuminating the bar.  Once again, you will need to have a cocktail here.  A specialty martini might just be the perfect fit.

[]Also, on the second floor, in the back corner, which has a stunning view out to the Edgartown Harbor, you’ll find the space that is going to house live music. Remove a couple of tables and voilà — you’ll have a great new music venue.  Eleven North definitely plans on hosting live music, and with that fabulous bar, I welcome it!  I can imagine getting dressed up a bit for the night, having dinner with the girls, and staying late for drinks to enjoy some music in that space.

Throughout the upstairs and downstairs, the color palette is filled with soothing greys and pale blues which are relaxing, and speak to the style of Edgartown.  I have to mention for my friends who I’ve been to the old David Ryan’s with, yes, the bathrooms have been completely redone as well, and look like they’re part of a Coastal Living spread.

Eleven North’s Food

[]I was lucky enough to get a tour and spend some time with Eleven North’s Chef, Matthew Stogryn.  He’s young, energetic, funny, and excited as hell to be the Chef here.  Many of you may know him from his cooking at The Sweet Life Cafe in Oak Bluffs (which I love) and also Kitchen Porch (Jan Buhrman’s catering company).  Chef Stogryn has a passion for cooking and for cooking as local and organic as possible.

There will be a bar menu, a lunch menu, and a dinner menu, all of which will have something new to offer daily.  There will be something for everyone, from hand-crafted pizzas, to homemade pastas, lobster mac & cheese, to scallops with pork belly, to burgers, you’ll find something to be dazzled by.

Chef Stogryn is partnering with MV fishermen and fisher women too, of course, to get the freshest fish in season, and he is working with Morning Glory Farm for their goods as well.  I have to mention that he is also working with a farm on Chappy that will take away all of Eleven North’s compostable waste for their land – how cool is that for a way to reduce your waste!

Also, I need to mention that Eleven North will be family friendly.  David has two beautiful children, Abby and Jacob, so he knows how important it is to appeal to families.  A restaurant can be chic and accessble at the same time.  That’s music to my ears, since I like a place that welcomes the kiddos.

Not Just A Pretty Bar(s)

[]The first floor bar has 8 taps for draught beer and the upstairs bar has 10 taps – so be on the lookout for a great beer selection.  There will also be 20 bottled beers to choose from.  The wine list will be well appointed as well, and get ready for some delicious and refreshing signature cocktails.

[]With all the beers and wines that will be featured at Eleven North, there are plans to have beer dinners featuring the perfect brew to go with different foods and of course wine dinners too.  Perhaps these may happen in the off-season, since Eleven North is planning to be open year-round.

Yes my friends, that corner on North Water Street will no longer be dark.  I think that movie nights at Entertainment Cinemas during the Winter  just got a little more interesting since Eleven North will be open.

Let’s recap about Eleven North.  It’s opening in just a couple of weeks.  It will have an extensive menu.  The interior looks like you stepped into the hot new spot in Boston, but with a distinctive MV feel.  There will be live music, and a great selection of cocktails.  It will be kid friendly and be open year round.

I think it sounds like a winner for not only Edgartown but for all of us.  Once it’s open, I’ll do a follow-up post so you can see the finished product and have more details about the menu.  I am really looking forward to seeing the finished product.

I’m wishing David, Matthew, and the entire Eleven North team a successful opening season and look forward to many nights out there.

[nggallery id=58]

Thanks for reading On Point. You can find Eleven North on Facebook and I would definitely check out all the photos they have on their page.  And speaking of social media, don’t forget to  “Like” us on Facebook, on follow us on Twitter, Linked In, Pinterest and YouTube.

question: Summarize the imagery provided for the two floor restaurant in the text.

answer: The author describes the second floor as being light and airy with amazing views of North Water Street. The space is modern and simple. The author also describes the downstairs as being sleek and cool. They also mention the bar and dining space downstairs.

critique: The author describes the second floor as being light and airy with amazing views of North Water Street. The space is modern and simple. The author also describes the downstairs as being sleek and cool. They also mention the bar and dining space downstairs.

critique: The answer should mention the bar and dining space upstairs.

question: Summarize the narrator's feelings towards restaurants.

answer: The narrator seems to be a foodie, as they are excited about the new restaurant opening in their town. They are also excited about the changes to the old restaurant and the new menu. They are also excited about the new bar and the drinks they will be able to order.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

text: The answer could offer more details for the sake of clarity in regards to what excites them about the new food and the restaurant.

category: coverage

question: How would restaurants and bars benefit from the narrator's "critiques"/advertisements?

answer: The narrator's "critiques"/advertisements are not really critiques. They are more like advertisements. They are not really meant to help the restaurants and bars improve their service or food. They are meant to get people to patronize the restaurants and bars.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The narrator's "critiques" are meant to help the restaurants and bars improve their service and food.

critique: It is incorrect that the narrator is not really meant to help the restaurants and bars improve.

critique: The third sentence of this passage could be worded a lot better.

critique: This answer is incorrect. The narrator is not an advertisement. The narrator is a food critic.

critique: The answer is false. The author of the article is not a critic. They are a food writer.

critique: The answer is a bit misleading. The narrator is not a critic. The article is an advertisement.

text: Since the article is written for the purpose of highlighting the new restaurant's selling points, it appears as though it is a useful advertisement for it, however it is written in the format of an opinion piece. Either way the author's opinion will make a difference.

category: accuracy


text:
The air conditioning barely worked. The few wisps of cool air that seeped out from the tour bus’ ancient vents had to be trapped inside, lest its twenty or so passengers melt in the summer heat. The windows were shut tight; no breeze could get in or out.

About fifteen of them were chain smokers. Tobacco was the new opium in 21st century China. After the first hour, the air became dense and thick.

When the three hour ride finally came to an end, I could no longer see a yard in front of me. Mother picked me up and rushed to the front; I was still small enough for her to lift back then. The crisp air of the rural countryside hit me like a refreshing blast.

Before I knew it, the contents of my lunch were being emptied on the dirt in front of me.

******

Our apartment smelled different when I came home from elementary school that day. It was an old, familiar smell. A faint, musky scent. I took long, panting breaths. My mind felt at peace. I sat on the floor, unmoving, soaking in the beautiful aroma.

An hour or so passed, and I heard shouting down the hallway. My mother was angry. My father was on the defense. “Only two” He exclaimed “I found a pack in my old pocket. They were old. It won’t happen again”.

A half hour later, the yelling ceased. All the windows were open. My mother walked back and forth, beating the air with a feather fan.

******

The day after my eighteenth birthday, I bought a pack of Marlboro’s, and a blue plastic lighter. Curiosity, and just because I could. My gaze stayed glued to the ground as I handed the clerk my I.D. It had a simple design. A red top with an egg white base, with “filter cigarettes” written neatly across the center. I liked the aesthetic. It looked nice in my pocket.

It was never opened. I hid it in a secret compartment in my suitcase, and brought it to college. I’ll save it for a special occasion. Nicotine is supposed to be a relaxant, right? Maybe the night before a stressful test. Or as a cure for a bout of depression.

******

Every drive away from my town feels as miserable as the first. The peculiar feeling of leaving the place I call home to sleep somewhere else never quite fades. Maybe I should consider myself lucky for having a place to sleep at all. Look at all these homeless people, wouldn’t they love to trade places with you? I take a walk down the nighttime Seattle streets, for once hoping to see a few of the less fortunate.

I come across a group, huddled under a storefront porch. But seeing their suffering does nothing to curb my own. Homelessness, not in a financial sense, but an emotional sense, could be used to describe my state of mind. Did I come back to visit, or to say goodbye one final time? Some things are harder to let go of than others.

Slowly, reluctantly, I take the pack out of my pocket. Its red gleam remains unfaded, and its crisp packaging beckons to be opened. The plastic wrap comes off easily; It was designed to be torn apart by eager fingers.

Lighting the cig was confusing at first, but I got it going after a minute. The aroma brought back an incredible flood of memories. My grandparents. All of my aunts and uncles. My dad. No one in my family had escaped its alluring scent.

I was lost. My mind was intoxicated. They say some people have genes that make them more susceptible to addiction. That exposure to second-hand smoke isn’t much different than first hand smoke. These were fleeting thoughts, which came and went without me paying them much heed.

The world began to calm down. My walk became steadier, slower. Any worries I had were dissipating. I closed my eyes with each drag, holding the wonderful smoke in my lungs.

Before I knew it, I was on my second. And my third. And my fourth. My breaths were too long; I was inexperienced. I got ashes all over my face and hands, and I coughed extensively. It didn’t matter; it was all bliss.

I was standing still, no longer even walking. There was a familiar haze in front of me; my mind drifted back to the bus ride. “This is mine, and mine alone” I thought triumphantly. No one else could force me to breathe their smoke. I made my own, with my lungs, my money, my life.

I opened the pack, and took out another. As I flicked the lighter, a thought occurred to me. I didn’t have to do it. At this moment, there was no overwhelming force compelling to smoke another cigarette.

But that might not be true a year, or a month, or even a week down the line. When my father found the lingering pack in his pocket, was his choice as clear as mine is now?

Was I expressing my newfound independence, or giving it up?

I threw whole case into a nearby trashcan. The walk away felt heavy, weighted by a mix of desire and pride. To turn around and pick it up again would be so easy. The white and red casing was calling to me, carrying innards that were still fresh and awaiting consumption.

I trudged on.

*****

title: Haze

question: Summarize the theme of this piece of writing.

answer: The theme of this piece of writing is that the narrator tries find solace in smoking, but in the end realizes that it's not worth the social, health, and mental burdens it inflicts.

critique: The narrator is not trying to find solace in smoking.

critique: The narrator does not try to find solace in smoking.

text: It is omitted that the narrator describes smoking habits in his family.

question: Summarize what the cigarettes symbolize.

answer: Cigarettes symbolize a need for relaxation, a need for escape from the chaos of life, and a need for independence. The narrator takes her first cigarette when she's eighteen, and it's a symbol for her independence. The second cigarette is evidence that she doesn't have to follow in her father's footsteps and smoke, but she might have to in the future. The third cigarette, however, is evidence that she can quit if she wants to.

critique: The narrator's first cigarette is a symbol for her independence. The second cigarette is evidence that she doesn't have to follow in her father's footsteps and smoke, but she might have to in the future. The third cigarette, however, is evidence that she can quit if she wants to.

critique: The narrator doesn't take her first cigarette until after she's eighteen.

text: The last three sentences are partly inaccurate and irrelevant. I would delete them.

question: Summarize what other factors have motivated the narrator to grow "out of the nest".

answer: The narrator's father is a smoker. The narrator has seen the effects of second-hand smoke on their family members, and they know that their father has been hiding a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. The narrator has also seen the homeless people in the streets of Seattle. The narrator is not homeless, but they are not financially secure, and they are not sure what their future holds. The narrator is also a smoker. They know that smoking is not good for them, but they also know that they enjoy it. The narrator is also curious about their independence. They want to be able to make their own choices, even if they are bad ones.

critique: The narrator has not identified as a smoker, but they do obviously know a lot about how the habit works.

critique: The narrator is not a smoker. They are a non-smoker.

critique: This is not a summary of the narrator's motivation to grow out of the nest, but a summary of their smoking habit.

text: The answer is irrelevant. There is no answer in the passage.

category: coherence


text:
Tobias knew that she was beautiful. It was obvious when she closed her mouth. Her small chin seemed to be pulled in, and her upper lip stretched over what her lower lip didn’t cover. It gave her an innocent and curious look. But her eyes conveyed anything but purity, they were large and dark and full of wisdom. This contrast, Tobias knew, was rare, and no doubt stirred feelings of longing in nearly every man who was so lucky to see her.

There was a time when Tobias would have felt warm at the thought of them together, holding hands, kissing, holding each other in bed. He knew he would have found himself smiling when he saw something that reminded him of her, and everything would remind him of her, from the wind, to the warmth and wetness of damp dirt in the sun, from the way a cashier held her head to the way water falls off the mossy rocks in his grandfather’s forest. He would always be smiling, for she’d be his world, and the world was all he saw. Every now and then, in intervals immeasurable by time, she would go swimming, encouraged by the depth and complexity of what lies beyond and beneath the surface of the ocean.

She would float on the water and catch glimpses of fantastic creatures and sights, whales surfacing and far away beaches beckoning, and she would swim and swim in the direction of her gaze, but always the beaches seemed to get further away, and the whales never stayed in the same place. She would hold her breath as long she could and dive under, five feet, ten feet, fifteen, and she’d see schools of brightly colored fish, curious bubbles, turtles and other creatures, but always her lungs emptied and her sight blurred, and she’d have to come up for air, gasping and flailing as she cursed her human impotence and imperfections. She’d be weary, and sick of searching, she’d curse herself again for leaving land, for believing that her undefined desires were attainable, she’d curse herself for having desires at all, why can’t she just be content? and she’d turn around and see Tobias on an island not very far off. He’d be smiling and his palms would be open.

 She would swim easily to him, carried by the current, and he’d wrap a towel around her and lead her inside, where blankets and hot cocoa and a fire would all be laid out for her. Tobias would hold her, and she’d feel silly as she saw her misty desires of perfection solidify into desire for something real, something simple and true, attainable and powerful. She’d see her desire solidify into reality, into the object of a man, and that object would be holding her. Slowly her feelings of silliness, of desire, of comfort and yearning, would become ecstasy, which would radiate throughout her entire body, and she’d wonder why she ever left Tobias island in the first place. But he’d be the epitome of understanding, and when she would leave again to swim towards the unattainable, he’d be waiting for her on the shore, waiting patiently for her return, always with a towel and always with a kind and understanding smile on his face. Each time their ecstatic reunion was different and special, for she always felt sillier and wiser, and he knew that her occasional departures were necessary, and they both knew he knew, and loved each other all the more for it.

This is what Tobias thought of when he saw her, and so he looked at her as though she were a display in a museum.

title: Tobias Island

question: What does the story say about what Tobias imagines when he looks at her?

answer: Tobias imagines that she would go swimming, catching glimpses of fantastic creatures and sights, whales surfacing and far away beaches beckoning. She would swim and swim in the direction of her gaze, but the beaches seemed to get further away, and the whales never stayed in the same place. She would hold her breath as long as she could and dive under, five feet, ten feet, fifteen, and she’d see schools of brightly colored fish, curious bubbles, turtles and other creatures, but always her lungs emptied and her sight blurred, and she’d have to come up for air, gasping and flailing as she cursed her human impotence and imperfections. She’d be weary, and sick of searching, she’d curse herself again for leaving land, for believing that her undefined desires were attainable, she’d curse herself for having desires at all, why can’t she just be content? and she’d turn around and see Tobias on an island not very far off. He’d be smiling and his palms would be open. She would swim easily to him, carried by the current, and he’d wrap a towel around her and lead her inside, where blankets and hot cocoa and a fire would all be laid out for her. Tobias would hold her, and she’d feel silly as she saw her misty desires of perfection solidify into desire for something real, something simple and true, attainable and powerful. She’d see her desire solidify into reality, into the object of a man, and that object would be holding her. Slowly her feelings of silliness, of desire, of comfort and yearning, would become ecstasy, which would radiate throughout her entire body, and she’d wonder why she ever left Tobias island in the first place. But he’d be the epitome of understanding, and when she would leave again to swim towards the unattainable, he’d be waiting for her on the shore, waiting patiently for her return, always with a towel and always with a kind and understanding smile on his face. Each time their ecstatic reunion was different and special, for she always felt sillier and wiser, and he knew that her occasional departures were necessary, and they both knew he knew, and loved each other all the more for it.

critique: "But he’d be the epitome of understanding, and when she would leave again to swim towards the unattainable, he’d be waiting for her on the shore, waiting patiently for her return, always with a towel and always with a kind and understanding smile on his face. Each time their ecstatic reunion was different and special, for she always felt sillier and wiser, and he knew that her occasional departures were necessary, and they both knew he knew, and loved each other all the more for it" - this is more about Tobias' feelings for the woman, not what he imagined when he looked at her.

critique: The summary completely repeats the story. Third-person summary is of no use.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, which is not what the question asks.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, not a description of what Tobias imagines when he looks at her.

critique: This is a summary of the story and not an answer to the question.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, not a description of what Tobias imagines.

text: The response directly copies over content from the text, which needs to be reduced for readability.


text: I've seen you once before, in a dream from very long ago. We stared at one another from across the way, our hearts attempting to match the beat of one another's, the rhythmic sounds growing so loudly you blushed slightly at the thought of another hearing its merriment, while mine sung a tune loud enough for yours, and only yours to hear. As we walked closer to one another the beating I heard grew from a faint whisper to a warming melody, and as we continued walking along this bridge surrounded by the cherry blossoms that slowly fell in between and all around us, my heart began pounding on the walls of it's calloused prison. Foregoing it's fear that another would never hear it's lovely song, and it would wither and die in a lonely silence. But now, as I walked closer to you and you to I, it sung the happiest of song's as it could finally hear yours. One that the wind would carry for eternity, and the river below would remember until it has gone. For two hearts separate singing together in almost unity, is something even the wind & water has only heard a handful of times. My heart seemed as though it would burst as we finally met one another on that bridge, I looked into your eyes and you into mine, and as you raised your hand I too raised mine, our hands becoming intertwined as our hearts finally resonated the others songs, but in the blink of an eye, we had became decrepit weak and old, when it seems as if just a moment ago, we were young and full of vigor. But I noticed quickly that hadn't stopped our hearts from the melodies they had sung through out our sudden ageing, and I stayed with you as my heart commanded, through the rain and snow, we stood their. Until one day, when the darkness came. And it ripped you from my hands without mercy, the last image I saw of you was a smile, the same smile that you graced me with when our hearts first found one another. But the sudden absence of the song my heart completed caused it to become silent and wither back into its cage, as I too sat on the bridge watching the place where she had stood, secretly hoping it was a bad joke, but the absence of her song told me the truth. She was gone, and now my hearts sings a tune of sadness, as the first snowflake fell upon the slightly frozen river below. As I looked into the sky past the white branches that blocked my view ever so slightly, my heart hit a particularly saddening note before its song stopped and a tear fell onto my heated cheeks, I raised my hand in surprise to find I had been crying, I looked below to find the river had rose and now flowed faster than before, I also noticed a trickle of blood running down my neck and dampening the shirt I wore. And as I raised my hand to touch the Scarlett liquid a man appeared before me, his hand raised outward a warming smile gracing his pale face, as he spoke it was clear to me, even above the rising waters now destroying everything in its path. He spoke the words my heart died to hear. "She's been waiting long enough, let us go." I cleared my blurry eyes and with the last of my fleeting strength I took his hand just as the water destroyed the bridge which we had met one another on. I feel asleep as my strength failed me, and I fell into darkness, no sound could be heard nor light seen, but then I heard her song, and I awoke to find her staring back at me. Smiling that same bashful smile she wore ever so perfectly when we had first met, as she heard my heart come alive and sing louder and happier then it ever had as it matched hers perfectly. I sat up and I took her hand into mine we shared a kiss more passionate then any before us, and then we layed their, hand in hand as our hearts sang out in perfect unison for all eternity. I turned to her and smiled as I said, I've seen you once before, in a dream from very long ago.

title: A short story I finished out of boredum, I hope you enjoy it.

question: To what does the narrator refer when speaks of the music in their hearts?

answer: To true love?

critique: The narrator refers to the music in their hearts as a love song.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator is referring to the love they feel for the woman they see in their dreams.

critique: It is not stated that the music in their hearts is a metaphor for true love.

critique: The narrator is speaking of a love interest.

critique: The narrator is speaking of a romantic love, not a platonic love.

critique: The answer given is not a complete sentence.

critique: The narrator is speaking of a woman he loves.

question: How can they become decrepit and weak in the blink of an eye?

answer: The man in the dream has no answer.

critique: This is incorrectly stated. They become decrepit and weak from the aging process.

text: It would be better to just say "no answer".

question: Why does the man join the narrator on the bridge?

answer: The man tells the narrator that his love has been waiting long enough and that they should go.

critique: The man doesn't tell the narrator that his love has been waiting long enough. He tells the narrator that she's been waiting long enough.

critique: The man doesn't tell the narrator that his love has been waiting long enough. He tells the narrator that his love has been waiting long enough.

critique: There is no evidence that the man says that the woman has been waiting too long.

critique: The man doesn't tell the narrator anything. He just appears and takes the narrator's hand.

critique: The man doesn't tell the narrator, he just takes the narrator's hand.


text:
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question: What do the various testimonials imply about NetLine?

answer: NetLine is a seamless way of acquiring leads that are well-qualified and ready to speak to a company about their services or products. The lead generation tool is well-designed and empowers businesses to engage with their core audience in just a few clicks. The reporting features are rather detailed and offer in-depth insights into campaigns, which is critical to a company's lead generation strategy.

critique: It is omitted that NetLine is a performance-based solution that is easy to use.

critique: This answer is a bit too long. It would be best to remove the last sentence, as it is not as relevant to the question.

critique: The answer does not mention the price of the service.

question: What are the various services NetLine provides?

answer: NetLine provides content syndication, lead generation, and buyer intent insights.

critique: At the time of this article, NetLine seems to cover other services as well. They should be in this as well.

critique: The answer should mention the various services NetLine provides.

critique: The answer should mention that NetLine also provides content syndication.

critique: "Buyer Intent Insights" is not a service, but a feature of NetLine's services.

critique: The answer should mention the pricing of the services.


text:
The director’s face was the first I saw upon returning. I had hoped it would be my mothers. His bifocals were constantly sliding down that pointy nose, and I could tell he was nervous from the constant smoothing of the stringy hair around his ears. Several emotions flickered across his face at once: fear, joy, excitement, jealousy. The last made me uncomfortable, and I shifted under the large man’s eager stare.

“Well… what did you see?” he asked, rubbing his forehead with a handkerchief. His voice was higher than normal; normal being already slightly feminine. The others in the room stared expectantly, pen and paper ready in each pair of hands. Reporters, news camera crews, journalists, and anyone else who wanted exclusive information was jammed into the already cramped room. If I had more of an ego, I may have enjoyed the attention. Perhaps even more so if I had anything to tell them.

They thought I was the perfect candidate, considering my experience. Every trip to the past had included me, either on my own or accompanying a person or group. They thought that I was good luck. I knew better, knew that I was the opposite. The first time, I had caught cholera, and had nearly died in Nottingham. The second, a stray Mongol arrow had all but pierced my heart. The rest are a jumble of disease, famine, natural disasters, and war casualties. Each time, as I was about to die, I was brought back to the present and the ailment cured. They told me it was worth it, for science and history. None of them ever volunteered to join me.

If it hadn't been news of the meteor, I may have continued my disastrous missions into history. It had been kept quiet at first, but news leaked out, as it always does. People began to panic, rioters hit the streets, and religious extremists gained billions of followers. Of course, nobody knew if the meteor would actually hit; it all depended on the timing. Either a direct collision, pulled by our gravity, or else it will pass extremely close and shoot towards the sun. Impossible to tell.
Then the director had his brilliant plan; if we could see the past, why not the future?  In the state of panic, everybody jumped on board. The director became a sort of celebrity, and funding was raised quickly. And who better, he asked, to lead this mission, but the one who had been a part of all previous missions. I tried to oppose, of course, but they wouldn't hear it. I was going.

I knew all along there was nothing to be seen. Even as they were inputting the coordinates, I was trying to decide what to say. You cannot predict the future; you cannot know it, because it does not yet exist. There are many possibilities, many different ways it could run. Astrologists and prophets appear successful, because they predict the most likely outcome, and brag intelligence or giftedness when it comes about. But there was no likely outcome, no easily discernible pattern to follow. It was one or the other, left or right, death or life. Heads or tails.

I glanced down, as the face of George Washington stared mockingly up at me. With a practiced smile and show of relief, I proclaimed that we would survive; the meteor will pass close enough that offshoots will create much damage, but Earth will remain intact.

Celebratory whoops and hollers filled the room, and the director did something of a dance. I smiled, shaking hands and giving hugs as everyone came to congratulate me. There was no happiness, no excitement, as I wait until the day the meteor would arrive. If I were to be honest with myself, I hope it hits us.

Nobody will judge you when you are dead.

title: Our Future, or Lack-Thereof

question: Identify the loophole in the story.

answer: The narrator is asked to travel to the future to see what will happen with the meteor. He says that you cannot see the future because it does not exist yet. However, you can see the most likely outcome as predicted by prophets. The narrator predicts that the meteor will pass close enough that offshoots will create much damage, but Earth will remain intact. This is the most likely outcome of the meteor strike, which the narrator sees in the future.

critique: The narrator does not see the future. He sees the most likely outcome of the meteor strike.

text: The narrator is unable to see the future - he lied and hope the meteor would destroy earth.


text:
DICKEY LEE HULLINGHORST (born July 27, 1943[1]) is a former legislator in the U.S. state of Colorado and a former Speaker of the Colorado House of Representatives.[2] She was elected as a Democrat in 2008. Hullinghorst represented House District 10, which encompasses central eastern Boulder and northeastern Boulder County, Colorado.[3]

She is only the second woman in state history to hold that position.[4] It is the first time since 1880 a Boulder County, Colorado lawmaker has been the Speaker of the House.[5]

Biography

Born Dickey Lee Shepard (named after her father, Richard),[6] in Maywood, Nebraska, Hullinghorst earned a bachelor's degree in sociology from the University of Wyoming in 1965[7] and has completed graduate work in public policy at the University of Colorado, Denver. She has worked as a computer programmer for the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in Washington, DC,[8] as legislative affairs director for the Colorado Open Space Council from 1979 to 1980 and as senior vice president for Herrick S. Roth Associates, a Denver public policy consulting firm, from 1980 to 1985.[9][10]

Starting in 1985, Hullinghorst worked as Intergovernmental Relations Director for Boulder County, Colorado. She spearheaded the 2003 creation of the “Boulder County Countywide Coordinated Comprehensive Development Plan Intergovernmental Agreement,” or “Super IGA,” governing Boulder County development and land-preservation policies over a two-decade timeframe.[11] In recognition of this work, she received the Metro Vision First Place Award from the Denver Regional Council of Governments (DRCOG) and the National Association of Counties (NACo) intergovernmental cooperation award. She also received the Local Government Collaboration Gold Award for work on an IGA targeting Colorado State Highway 42 revitalization.[12] Additionally, Hullinghorst's position entailed lobbying the state legislature on behalf of Boulder County. Hullinghorst retired in December 2007 upon announcing her campaign for the state legislature.[13]

She has served on a number of local boards and commissions, including Boulder County's Parks and Open Space Advisory Committee, Healthy Communities Steering Committee, Resource Conservation Advisory Board, and Mental Health Center Board, as well as the city of Boulder's Blue Ribbon Commission on Revenue Stability. During the early 1980s,[14] Hullinghorst received gubernatorial appointments to the Colorado Mined Land Reclamation Board, the Front Range Project Steering Committee, and the Metropolitan Water Roundtable. She helped found the Colorado Open Lands Board, and served on the boards of EcoCycle, Political Action for Conservation, and PLAN Boulder County.[15] Hullinghorst also once played oboe with the Longmont symphony.[16]

A veteran of Democratic Party politics, Hullinghorst was a delegate to the 1976 Democratic National Convention and has served in a number of roles with the Boulder County Democratic Party, as a precinct committeeperson, member of the central and executive committees, finance chair, GOTV co-chair, county vice-chair,[17] and as county chair from 1975 to 1979.[18] She has also served on the executive committee of the Colorado Democratic Party,[19] and vice-president of the Colorado Women's Political Caucus in the 1970s and as president of the Colorado Democratic Women's Political Action from 2000 to 2002.[20]

Hullinghorst currently lives in Gunbarrel, Colorado.[21] Her husband, Bob Hullinghorst, was Boulder County Treasurer.[22] They have one daughter, Lara.[23]

Legislative career

2008 campaign

In October 2007, Hullinghorst announced her candidacy for the state house seat being vacated by term-limited Rep. Alice Madden.[24] She had no opposition in the Democratic primary[25] and, in the general election, faced Republican Dorothy Marshall,[26] a Boulder health insurance agent whose bid was endorsed by the _Denver Post_.[27] Hullinghorst's campaign, however, was endorsed by the _Boulder Daily Camera_[28] and the _Boulder Weekly_.[29] Hullinghorst touted her government experience, and emphasized tax reform and the state budget in her legislative campaign.[30] She ultimately won the general election with 75 percent of the popular vote.[31]

2009 legislative session

For the 2009 legislative session, Hullinghorst was named to seats on the House Agriculture and Natural Resources Committee and the House State, Veterans, and Military Affairs Committee.[32]

2010 legislative session

For the 2010 legislative session, Hullinghorst was named to the House Appropriations Committee, filling a seat previously held by Representative Kathleen Curry.[33]

2010 election

2011 legislative session

2012 legislative session

2012 election

In the 2012 General Election, Representative Hullinghorst faced Republican challenger William H. Eckert. Hullinghorst was reelected by a wide margin of 80% to 20%.[34][35]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4] http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Rep-Hullinghorst-new-Colorado-House-speaker-5893099.php

[5] http://www.bizjournals.com/denver/blog/capitol_business/2014/11/hullinghorst-becomes-colorados-second-female-house.html

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

[18]

[19]

[20]

[21]

[22]

[23]

[24]

[25]

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[35]

title: Dickey Lee Hullinghorst

question: What does the article say about Dickey Lee Hullinghorst's career before her candidacy for the state house seat?

answer: Hullinghorst worked as a computer programmer for the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development in Washington, DC, as legislative affairs director for the Colorado Open Space Council, and senior vice president for Herrick S. Roth Associates. She also served on a number of local boards and commissions.

critique: The answer should mention her work as Intergovernmental Relations Director for Boulder County.

critique: The answer does not mention her role as the Intergovernmental Relations Director for Boulder County.

question: What does the article say about Dickey Lee Hullinghorst's legislative career?

answer: Dickey Lee Hullinghorst was elected as a Democrat in 2008. She was only the second woman in state history to hold that position. She has served on a number of local boards and commissions. Hullinghorst was a delegate to the 1976 Democratic National Convention and has served in a number of roles with the Boulder County Democratic Party. She has also served on the executive committee of the Colorado Democratic Party. Hullinghorst announced her candidacy for the state house seat being vacated by term-limited Rep. Alice Madden in October 2007. She had no opposition in the Democratic primary and, in the general election, faced Republican Dorothy Marshall. Hullinghorst was reelected by a wide margin of 80% to 20% in the 2012 General Election.

critique: The response provided a great deal of information about Dickey Lee Hullinghorst but that information had nothing to do with her legislative career. The model must be able to distinguish the information based on the questions and make sure the correct information is provided to answer the question.

critique: The last sentence is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The response should include that Hullinghorst was elected to the state house seat in 2008.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

text: The response is missing details about her legislative career, including 2009, 2010, and 2012 seasons.

question: What does the article say about Hullinghorst's health issues?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that Hullinghorst's health issues are not discussed in the article.

critique: The answer should mention that the article does not mention any health issues.

critique: It is omitted that this information can't be found.


text:
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR FAVOURITE BRAND CALLED YOU BAE?

Personally, I cringe whenever someone I know dares utter the term – even if they’re doing it ironically.

For companies, words are a really useful weapon, and many have cottoned on to the fact that talking like a real person is far more engaging than using dry, corporate and jargon-filled language.

But when does conversational language go too far?

Can brands use colloquialisms and abbreviations? What about text-speak and swear words?

It’s a huge topic, so with just a few examples of brands getting it right and well and truly wrong, here are a few ways to ensure modern-day slang stays cool and definitely _not_ cringe.

Know your audience

Speaking like a 15-year-old might seem like a killer content marketing strategy, but it only works if the people you’re talking to are 15-years-old too.

It’s surprising just how many brands use slang even if it means alienating a large percentage of their existing audience.

Similarly, some companies seem to disregard the notion of audience at all, jumping on the bandwagon of a particular phrase or word – regardless of whether or not it makes much sense.

American delivery service Postmates – a company that enables people to get anything delivered within an hour – recently unleashed a billboard using the phrase “Postmates and chill”.

Though it might resonate with a select few, it’s easy to feel a little short-changed about this rather lazy attempt at reaching everyone’s favourite target market… ‘millennials’.

[]

On the other hand, a company like IHOP has proven far more successful in its use of slang.

By using Twitter – a platform much more aligned to young people – as well as ensuring a consistent and slightly tongue-in-cheek tone, it manages to stay on the right side of amusing.

  Is it worth it, let me work it. I put my fork down, flip it and reverse it. pic.twitter.com/5IoqsqoqUA

  — IHOP (@IHOP) October 8, 2014

Keep it current

The danger of slang is that it can become outdated within a very short period of time.

Fifteen years ago we were all obsessed with LOL-ing at chavs. Today, we can’t stop taking selfies with swag.

It’s difficult to know how long a word will be popular for, but one thing brands can gauge is whether or not an audience will be receptive to it.

If a slang word is too good to resist, and the audience is sure to lap it up, there’s no reason brands shouldn’t experiment.

Consider the platform

Language can sound very different depending on where it is used.

Including slang in a slogan or headline can sometimes feel too in-your-face, and for product or promotional purposes might appear shoehorned in.

One of the most popular places to use it is on Twitter. Of course, brands get it wrong far more than you might think.

Take Mountain Dew for example. Not only did it use ‘bae’ (*shudders*) – but it also happened to use it in the wrong context, including a poorly-judged ‘the’ before the acronym.

In case you didn’t know bae actually stands for ‘before anyone else’.

So essentially, Mountain Dew’s tweet made no sense whatsoever.

  Mountain Dew is the bae.

  — Mountain Dew® (@MountainDew) April 11, 2014

On the other hand, brands like O2 have demonstrated that Twitter is the one platform where slang can be a real success.

Back in 2012, one particularly savvy social media upstart decided to reply to a complaint using the same style of street speak as the customer.

Eventually going viral, this example just goes to show that, if used in the correct context, slang can be a useful way to really connect with an audience.

  @o2 jheeze so u man speak slang and dat r u a girl what ends u from. And naa ii didn’t what router

  — Genos (@Tunde24_7) October 9, 2012

Publish with caution

We’re used to hearing about brands inadvertently posting offensive content, but when it comes to social media, the odds of causing offense are even higher.

Not an example of slang per se, but hashtags demonstrate how terms from popular culture can often filter into our everyday vernacular.

DiGiorno Pizza recently landed itself in hot water when it jumped on the hashtag #whyistayed.

Originally created by victims of domestic violence, DiGiorno was clearly oblivious about the context when it posted this ill-advised tweet.

  Example of a brand using a trending topic without understanding the context #Advertising #SocialMedia #WhyIStayed pic.twitter.com/iTSmfaT6Xv

  — Scott Paul (@scottfpaul) September 9, 2014

As these examples show, slang is always going to be a tough tool to master.

For brands, the trick is knowing when it’s worth trying, and when it’s worth steering clear.

_TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS TOPIC, CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE COPYWRITING COURSE._

question: What does the text say about conversational language?

answer: According to the text, conversational language is nothing but talking like a real person in the context of corporations. Millions of brands and companies are using conversational language to interact with the customers. Though, many of the companies go way overboard with language, especially with text-speak, colloquialisms, abbreviations and swear words. A brand should know its target audience because choosing colloquialisms that don't suit their target audience could alienate them farther if they totally discard their loyalty to the company.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The passage doesn't mention millions of brands.

critique: The answer should mention that conversational language is a useful weapon for companies.

critique: The approximation of brands doing conversational language is wrong. The text just makes mention that a brand should know its target-audience.

critique: This is too much of a copy-paste of the text, and the mention of brands is unnecessary and wrong.

critique: The text does not mention millions of brands using conversational language.

critique: The companies' interactions with the customers don't qualify as conversational language

critique: The first sentence is inaccurate. The article doesn't say conversational language is nothing but talking like a real person in the context of corporations.

critique: The text does not mention anything about text-speak, colloquialisms, abbreviations, or swear words.

critique: The answer is about conversational language in general not just involving brands and companies.

critique: Some aspects of conversational language are not included in the response

critique: The text does not say that millions of brands and companies are using conversational language.

critique: The response should note that the author says that conversational language has a place in marketing, but that companies should be careful with how they approach it.

critique: The article does not say that millions of companies use conversational language.

question: What does the text say about knowing your audience?

answer: The text states that the use of conversational language depends on the audience. If a slang word is too good to resist, and the audience is sure to lap it up, then it is worth exploring. Knowing the audience helps a company know who to target.

critique: The answer should mention that the audience should be targeted.

critique: The answer should mention that the company should know their audience.

critique: "Then it is worth exploring" is confusing. It should be omitted.

critique: It's omitted that if the audience isn't its target audience, then it should not use slang.

critique: The text also states that people who are older can be alienated by the use of slang.

critique: The answer is too long and doesn't answer the question.

critique: The answer should mention that the audience should be the same age as the brand.

critique: The answer misspells "chavs" and "swag."

critique: The answer should mention the examples used.

critique: Incorrect use of the term "lapping it up"

critique: This is not the primary point of the passage.

critique: The answer is too broad and doesn't answer the question.

critique: The answer should mention that a company should be careful in using slang if it means alienating a large percentage of their existing audience.

critique: "If a slang word is too good to resist, and the audience is sure to lap it up, then it is worth exploring." - There's no evidence that supports that the use of conversational language is dependent on audience. That line should be removed.

critique: The answer omits that the brand should know their audience before using slang.

question: What does the text say about good advertisements?

answer: No answer

critique: There is no answer, but the text does mention that hashtags and trending topics are good examples of how to use slang in a way that will reach an audience.

critique: There are certain features that should be present for a good advertisement: Know your audience, the platform, and keep it current. There are many popular companies that use slang in their social media, such as IHOP and O2, but there were careless mistakes and DiGiorno Pizza landed itself in hot water.

critique: There are no advertisements in the text.

critique: No answer is given because the question does not have a direct answer.

critique: The text does mention good advertisements.

critique: There are no examples of advertisements in the text.

question: What does the text say about the publishing procedure?

answer: The text says that it can be difficult to understand when to use slang and when not to. According to the author, Twitter is most likely a right platform for using slang because it uses current language and has hashtags where there are trends. However, you should be extremely careful because your text will be posted for all to see. If what you intended to say is full of offensive terms, it can offend others and cause immediate outrage. It can also be hard to gauge how long a term might last, but you should at least try to use it. Incorrect use will knowingly or unknowingly offend your audience.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique:
-The answer says that the text says Twitter is a right platform for using slang, while the text says Twitter is one of the most popular places to use it.
-The answer says to be careful using slang because it can offend others, but the text doesn't say that.
-The answer says that hashtags can filter into our everyday vernacular. While it can, it is not stated in the text.

critique: The answer is not relevant to the question and includes information not found in the text.

critique: The answer is a summary of the text and not a summary of the author's advice.

critique:
The answer misinterprets the following line from the text: "For brands, the trick is knowing when it’s worth trying, and when it’s worth steering clear."
The answer is a bit too judgmental. It may also be more grammatically correct to replace 'you' with 'your' in "If what you intended to say is full of offensive terms, it can offend others and cause immediate outrage."

critique: The answer is mostly irrelevant and inaccurate.

critique: The answer is a bit too long and uses some irrelevant information.

critique: This is not a counterpoint to the argument that Twitter has hashtags, but it is a counterpoint to the argument of the author regarding caution

critique: The answer contains information on how the platform is used that isn't relevant to the question.

critique: Incorrect use of "that" rather than "it".

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: There's no evidence in the article stating that Twitter is one of the best platforms for using slang. "Although Twitter is a very popular social media platform, the odds of causing offense are even higher" is evidence that Twitter has high odds for offensive content.

critique: The answer is not relevant to the question.

text: The article does not discuss the publishing process. As such, the response is inaccurate.

refinement: The text says that it can be difficult to understand when to use slang and when not to. According to the author, Twitter is most likely a right platform for using slang because it uses current language and has hashtags where there are trends. However, you should be extremely careful because your text will be posted for all to see. If what you intended to say is full of offensive terms, it can offend others and cause immediate outrage. It can also be hard to gauge how long a term might last, but you should at least try to use it. Incorrect use will knowingly or unknowingly offend your audience.


text:
Since the beginning of time, humans have strived for ways to communicate with each other. As time progressed, we started seeking the ability to communicate with others close and afar.

When the telephone was invented in the 1870’s, it was a major disruption to the way people communicated with each other. With the telephone, it made it much easier to communicate with just about anyone who had the access to. It made talking to others close by and far away easier, and thus made phone calls much more frequent in nature.

Fast forward to today, and we can see there have been several other disruptions to the ways we communicate. From IRC to the invention of the cell phone,  we have a wide variety of ways to communicate with anyone we want from anywhere in the world.

With all that we have access to for communicating with each other, what are some of the major trends currently disrupting the way we communicate?

Email

Although email was invented in the 1970s, it didn’t become widespread until internet service providers started providing service in the 1990’s. When people signed up for service, they were often given an email address for their use.

Soon after, email services such as Hotmail made it much easier to get an email address outside of an ISP. Since then, email has taken over as a major way we communicate with either other professionally and personally.

[Nexmo-2]
Credit: Shutterstock
Email isn’t anything new, but the way we use email today is different. We rely on email often as our main avenue of communication. We’ve moved from using the phone to talk to others to simply sending off an email.

It’s also not uncommon for us to have multiple emails for different purposes, more so now than in the past. We have an email address for our work lives and our personal lives. We also may have a few more for other various reasons (such as a side business).

The reliance on email today is disrupting the way we communicate mainly because it is our preferred method of communication. How many times have you ended a phone call or in-person discussion with “You can email me any time”?

Social Media

Social media is one of the biggest disruptors to the way we communicate with others. There are many social media networks out there, and most often the average individual is a member of at least three to four of them.

The fact that we signed up for and are members of several social media networks at the same time disrupts the way we communicate in that these networks provide a way to talk to each other without giving out details like a phone number.

If you’re like me, you know quite a few people that only communicate via social media, be it Facebook, Twitter, or another network. Many have never talked to each other through any other means (such as a phone call).

[Nexmo1]
Credit: Shutterstock
Always Connected

Thanks in large part to cell phones, we are always connected to a mobile device of some sort (cell phone, tablet, or laptop). This means we are always available to communicate with each other no matter where we are.

We often answer emails on our phones when we are away from the office, receive notifications from social media about interactions, and make calls while on the go.

This “always connected” way of life has disrupted the way we communicate because it allows for near instant communication. We no longer wait until we get to the office or home to check up on email or missed messages. We have the access right in our pocket and get notifications to such right away.

We also expect to receive answers and be able to get in touch with anyone quickly, sine we know they are always connected as well. We expect to get things handled right away instead of waiting for them to return to their work or home before hearing back.

Multiple Avenues

Much like having several different email addresses and being members of several different social media networks, we often have multiple ways we can be contacted in addition to email and social media networks.

If someone needs to contact us, they often have various options – mail, call, email, text, direct message on social media, tweet, send a chat, video message, along with many others. The ways to contact us are becoming more numerous as we subscribe to these various channels.

Having different avenues to communicate with each other helps to accommodate others that may prefer certain technologies. Some people may like Skype more than email, while others may prefer a text message over a phone call. Having all of these avenues allows anyone and everyone to contact us the way they want.

[Nexmo-3]
Credit: Shutterstock
This trend in having multiple avenues to communicate with each other is disruptive and helped along with the fact that we are always connected and have our phones and computers with us at all times.

Emerging technologies

You can kind of get a sense of the different technologies available to us in the above trends, but technology for the ways we communicate have come a long way since the telephone.

Things like instant chat, text messaging, video messaging and the like have made communicating with each other in different ways possible.

 Disruptive technologies like Facebook and social media, smartphones and text messaging, Skype and video messaging, and now Slack and instant messaging, have all changed the way we communicate with each other on the daily basis.

It’s no doubt that the next emerging technology will also disrupt the way we communicate as well, just like the ones that have come before it. Technology moves fast, so the next technology to disrupt communication may already be in development.

Conclusion

The ways in which we communicate with each other have changed drastically over the decades, and with new technologies being introduced often, those ways will constantly be disrupted by the next best thing.

READ NEXT: Top pitching tips from creative agencies

_Image credit: Shutterstock_

READ NEXT: Make your own music sound louder and prouder with Landr's new Mac app

question: From the text, summarise the significant disadvantage(s) of having different communication channels and how they affect how we effectively communicate with one another?

answer: There is nothing to conclude that is specific to the way in which people communicate.

critique: The answer is wrong and should be rewritten.

critique: There is a specific disadvantage mentioned in the text.

critique: The answer is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The response misses to mention that the different communication channels affect how we communicate with one another.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The text does mention the disadvantages of having different communication channels.

critique: The article does mention the disadvantages of having different communication channels.

text: no answer.

refinement: There is nothing to conclude that is specific to the way in which people communicate.


text:
Inside Wealth

[DBGB Kitchen and Bar in CityCenterDC, where there is also an Hermès store.]

Credit...Justin T. Gellerson for The New York Times

-   May 12, 2017

Wealth in Washington is being redefined, as the region’s modest millionaires give rise to a new class of superrich.

For years, Washington and its surrounding suburbs have been among the most affluent in the country. The four highest-earning counties in the United States, as measured by median incomes, are all near D.C., according to the Census Bureau. The top three are in Virginia — Loudoun County, followed by Falls Church City (an independent city treated by the Census Bureau as a county) and Fairfax County — and No. 4 is Howard County, Md.

The region also has plenty of millionaires. Maryland, Virginia and Washington are all in the top 10 for millionaires per capita, according to Phoenix Marketing.

But there has always been a sharp distinction in D.C. culture between being wealthy and being rich. Let New York and Los Angeles have the mansion-owning, Ferrari-driving, yacht-loving billionaires. The Washington elite were content with a three-bedroom colonial, two incomes and top private schools. Its handful of billionaires were mostly local sports team owners little known outside the capital.

Yet now, the combination of the richest White House in history and a boom in government-related businesses and technology companies is transforming Washington’s affluence into opulence. There are 34 billionaires within a 25-mile radius of Washington, according to Wealth-X, an information services company that specializes in identifying the tribal patterns of the superrich; that figure is up slightly from last year. And there are 2,049 D.C.-area residents worth $30 million or more.

Prices and sales of multimillion-dollar mansions are surging. Flashy luxury brands more commonly associated with Madison Avenue and Rodeo Drive are doing brisk business near the Capitol. Celebrity chefs are opening up elaborate restaurants and charging very un-Washington prices (think $280 tasting menus).

Along with the region’s traditional Priuses and Mercedes S.U.V.s, six-figure sports cars like Aston Martins and McLarens are now selling well.

“The wealth here is exploding,” said William Shawn, a longtime Washington lawyer who, as a side venture, recently opened a dealership selling Aston Martins and Bentleys. “I’m still amazed at the amount of money that people have coming into the showroom.”

The most obvious signs are in real estate. The average price of a property costing $1 million or more rose by 33 percent in the first quarter, according to Redfin. That increase is among the largest in the country.

Part of it was driven by the billionaires and millionaires in the Trump administration. Steven Mnuchin, the Treasury secretary and a former hedge fund manager, paid $12.6 million in February for an estate in Massachusetts Avenue Heights. Wilbur Ross, the billionaire commerce secretary, paid $10.75 million in January for a Beaux-Arts mansion in the same neighborhood.

Rex W. Tillerson, the secretary of state and former Exxon Mobil chief executive, paid $5.6 million for a colonial in the Kalorama neighborhood, where Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are renting a six-bedroom home for $15,000 a month.

Image[The Tysons Galleria mall in McLean, Va.]

Credit...Justin T. Gellerson for The New York Times

The record smasher for real estate in Washington, however, isn’t linked to the Trump administration. Jeff Bezos, the chief of Amazon and owner of The Washington Post, paid $23 million for the former Textile Museum in Kalorama and plans to convert the 27,000 square feet, spread across two buildings, into a single-family home.

Brokers say that record may not last long.

“I think we’re just seeing a whole new level of client in the city,” said Mark Lowham, a real estate agent with Sotheby’s International Realty in Washington.

He has an eight-bedroom home listed for $22 million on Chain Bridge Road in the city’s northwest. He also has a penthouse condominium at the Ritz-Carlton in Georgetown listed for $9.95 million.

While those are far from New York prices, they are a quantum leap for Washington. Mr. Lowham said he recently sold a $7.5 million condo on Water Street, which runs along the Potomac River.

The buyers aren’t just locals. Increasingly, the superrich from around the world are discovering the benefits of owning a home in Washington. Aside from being a bargain compared with New York or London, it gives business owners and power players access to the seat of government.

“These people already have a home in London and Hong Kong and New York, and they realize that if they add Washington to their portfolio, they can entertain there and advance their cause,” Mr. Lowham said.

European luxury brands have also found it lucrative to have homes in the area. Hermès opened a 6,000-square-foot boutique in CityCenterDC in 2015, celebrating with a blowout dinner that featured foie gras feuilleté and waiters wearing giant white hats that looked like clouds.

At a time when many malls are struggling, Tysons Galleria, in McLean, Va., which has tenants like Bottega Veneta, Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Prada, is reporting growing sales. Instead of a food court, the mall has brought in Mike Isabella, a chef and restaurateur, to build a 41,000-square-foot dining complex with eight eateries, including a raw bar and a tapas restaurant.

“Our sales have been strong, and luxury sales have been among the strongest,” said Rich Dinning, the senior general manager of Tysons Galleria.

The food scene in Washington is also growing more lavish. One of the top restaurants in town is Pineapple and Pearls, whose 11-course tasting menu (with drink pairings) goes for $280 a person — to be paid in advance. Several other restaurants in town, such as Métier and Komi, are offering tasting menus for $200 or more.

The new administration may be contributing to Washington’s affluence, but big money is also coming from start-ups and newcomers from out of town. A 25-year-old recently walked into Mr. Shawn’s car dealership and paid $340,000 in cash for an Aston Martin Vanquish. The customer said he had recently sold a tech company he founded for tens of millions of dollars.

“The government may have got a lot of this started,” Mr. Shawn said, “but with cybersecurity now, you’ve got a lot of these smart guys forming their own tech or telecom companies and doing well.”

While his dealership still lags those in Los Angeles; Greenwich, Conn.; and Palm Beach, Fla., when it comes to sales, Mr. Shawn said, “We’re closing in fast.”

question: What does the article say about the wealthy in Washington D.C.?

answer: The wealthy in Washington are redefined as the region's modest millionaires give rise to a new class of superrich. The richest White House in history and a boom in government-related businesses and technology companies are transforming Washington's affluence into opulence. The wealthy in Washington live a bit differently than the superrich in New York and Los Angeles. Few mansion-owning, Ferrari-driving, yacht-loving billionaires exist in Washington.

critique: The answer should mention the high concentration of millionaires.