text:
I had been sitting in that waiting room for what felt like forever. The last thing I remembered was that I was on the plane on my way home to see my family and friends. All of a sudden I got a stinging headache and couldn't see because of a bright light that filled my eyes. And then I was here. In this waiting room.

I looked around and realized I recognized some of these faces. These people had been with me on the plane. I wondered why I was here and what they were doing here as well. As I observed the room, I noticed that things seemed off. Some of the people didn't have the lower part of their bodies, some were holding a limb belonging to them. It didn't seem to bother them, they looked more confused about this whole situation.

The speakers hanging to the ceiling would occasionally announce a name and a person would walk through a big white door. Finally I heard my name announced. I stood up, looked around me and walked through the door at the far end of the room. I was greeted by a smiling woman in blood red scrubs.

"This way", she said and walked to the corridor on the left. I followed her until we arrived at what seemed to be an office.
"In here", she said. I walked into the unlit room, found a chair opposite to a desk and sat down. The woman shut the door and I could hear her walk away. I wondered why she hadn't turned on the light, I couldn't see anything. I sat there for a moment, still confused to what was happening.  All of a sudden, a light seemed to be turned on. I looked around until I saw a lamp in the corner of the room.

"So, you are here now. We have to find a place for you, I guess", said a voice behind me. I turned around to face the desk and I saw a giant of a man sitting there. He had ruffled hair and a long beard black as coal and wearing a plaid shirt underneath his white robe. Even though he was sitting, I had to look up to see his face. He did not seem old, but it was visible in his face that he was experienced with life.
"Uh... Where exactly am I?", I asked.
„We don‘t have time for games. You should've looked it up when you first came in here", he answered as he flipped through some files.
"I just remember being on a plane and getting a terrible headache and the next thing I know is that I‘m in this waiting room. I don‘t understand what‘s going on", I said.
"I am trying to sort out this situation for you. Would you please?", he replied. I was so surprised that I couldn't say a word. Neither one of us said anything for a while, the silence only broken by the sound of the paper as he scrolled through his files.
"Ah, yes. Here it is", he said. "I'm going to have to make some calls. If you would please go back to the waiting room. You‘ll be called again".

The door behind me opened. I stood up, turned around and walked out. The door closed behind me and I walked back to the big white door and to the waiting room. There were still many people there. I looked around to try and see if there were any signs or brochures with any information, but I could not find any. I took a seat. Shortly afterwards a woman who looked to be in her late thirties sat down close to me. She seemed scared.
"Do you have any idea where we are?", I asked her calmly. She looked at me and watched me for a while before muttering her reply.
"N-no... I don‘t...", she replied. I could see the fear in her eyes.
"What are you so afraid of?", I asked her.
"Nothing!", she replied. "Well, I have he-eard stories ab-bout this. But I don't believe tha-ats happening he-ere."
"What stories?", I asked her. The talking seemed to calm her down.
"Did you get the headache and see the white light too?", she asked.
"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?".
"They say it‘s death".
"Death?". I was shocked. I didn't know what to think.
"Yes", she replied. "A bright white light. The light at the end of the tunnel. Haven‘t you heard?".
I admitted I hadn't given it any thought. I was about to say something when I heard my name on the speaker system and forgot it. I stood up, walked to the white door and was greeted by another woman.

"Sorry to keep you waiting", she said. "Would you follow me please?".
I followed her as she walked straight ahead. We walked for long and turn after turn we finally stopped in front of a grey door. She looked at me and smiled as she opened the door to another unlit room. I looked in and the room was empty except for a sofa chair that seemed to be made with leather and a made up bed.
"This is your stop", the woman said.
This did not make me any less confused, but I walked into the room and she shut the door. I expected a light to be turned on, but after standing there for a moment nothing happened. Somehow I managed to find my way to the chair and sat down, thinking someone would come soon and explain what was happening, but nothing changed. No light was turned on, no one came. I stood up and tried to find the door, but no door handle was to be found. I tried banging on the walls and call, but the sounds died out as soon as I made them. Realizing that this would not help, I made my way back to the chair and sat down and waited.

title: The Waiting Room

question: What does the waiting room in the story represent?

answer: The waiting room in the story represents purgatory. It is a place where souls go to wait for their judgment. In this waiting room, souls have some sort of physical manifestation, the lower half of their body. This is what makes the waiting room from the story a bit different from real purgatory because in purgatory, souls are just souls.

critique: A little bit of ambiguity could leave this answer more accurate. "It is a place where souls go to wait for their judgment. In this waiting room, souls have some sort of physical manifestation, the lower half of their body." Might lead people toward this interpretation.

critique: "In this waiting room, souls have some sort of physical manifestation, the lower half of their body. This is what makes the waiting room from the story a bit different from real purgatory because in purgatory, souls are just souls." - this is inaccurate. The waiting room is not purgatory. The souls in the waiting room are disembodied, but they are not in purgatory. The waiting room is a plane crash.

critique: The waiting room is not necessarily purgatory.

text: This answer is full of inaccuracies. There is no physical manifestation in the lower half of the body. These people have died in a plane crash so their bodies are damaged.

category: accuracy

question: How did the narrator "die"?

answer: The narrator died on a plane.

critique: Does not mention the reason the narrator could have died.

critique: The narrator died on the plane, but it's not clear how.

critique: The narrator is still alive at the end of the passage.

critique: The narrator died on the plane, but it wasn't the plane crash that killed him.

critique: "The narrator died on a plane." - is only partly correct. The narrator was on the plane when he was struck by a bright light and woke up in a waiting room.

question: Would the narrator feel panic or would be be comfortable when it dawned on him that he had died?

answer: No answer

critique: The narrator is not comfortable being in a waiting room with no idea what is happening.

critique: Doesn't explain the answer or the question

critique: The question is asking for an opinion, so the answer should be a subjective one.


split: train

text:
Us four sat ensuring my stay.
In conversation, Rick was indirectly called a liar by Rob and Megan
because of me.
The price of being a father.
Any words spoken to him sounded like "Liar".
Any words spoken to me were in question.
As if I was being interrogated.
I had nothing to say unless asked.
The house was a mansion.
My cousin played the role of Keith Cozart.
I looked forward to good times as the house was left mostly
unattended.
As we spoke my mind wandered into flashbacks and daydreams.
Rob was showing me the room where I was going to stay.
There were many rooms and hallways.
Some rooms were connected by doors and weren't connected to hallways.
I opened a door to a bathroom and there was someone in the bathtub.
At first I laughed and looked away but Rob quicly put his arm around me and
led me away, and as he did I caught another quick glimpse of the bathtub and
noticed that it was a body. I was shocked and Rob started to remind me that I
didn't see anything that there was no one there. I instantly protested to
staying in the adjacent room which was where we were headed. I threatened to say
what I saw if forced to stay there. I was led away. The confusion and
unknowingness turned into fear and Plan. We returned downstairs and played it
off, acting as if that didn't happen. Later I spoke with Rob's sister about
what I had seen and she told me that it was not infact a body but pieces of
bodies that were created from insecurities. That she herself had created some
of the pieces that were in the bathtub. We walked and talked. I thought about
what I heard. Generations of insecurities brought about what was in the
bathtub. They all knew. Did Rick know? Did Megan know? I didn't know.
Who was it? Was it one of their own. We ended up back at the bathroom and I
looked in again and what I saw shocked me to the point that I couldn't clearly
make out what it was. Was it a body or was it pieces? It was entirely
underneath the water. I faked emotion and accepted the pieces of insecurities
and agreed to stay in the adjacent room. It was the only way to survive.
I spent most of the first week alone in the room.
I heard them speaking about me. About how I spent time alone.
I was genuinely afraid. The first chance I would take it.
It was a Saturday. I had stolen a few grams of Rob's cocaine and
over the course of 2 days had made it injectable with no one knowing.
The owner of the mansion, the famous Dr. Bob, had syringes in the
downstairs bathroom. Everyone left late in the night.
The only ones left were Rob and Megan. Who were passed out. I stabbed Rob with
the needle and injected it. As he woke and saw me he knew what my
intentions were but could not prevent them as the high almost instantly kicked
in and he fell into a euphoric state. Megan didn't even wake up.
The thought crossed my mind. Did she know about the bathtub? Had she noticed the
change in my behavior? I weighed the risk of foiling my Plan in my mind before
deciding to leave her behind as I escaped into the night. I stole a car from
the mansions garage and left leaving no trace of where I was going.
The insecurity of being insecure. Being insecure was my only security, the
only thing that led me to escape the fate that awaited me. Where all others had
failed and gave in to become part of the fate themselves I had broken free.

title: the fate that awaited

question: Summarize Megan's descent into madness.

answer: No answer

critique: Megan is not described as descending into madness.


text:
This Saturday is finally it; I get to complete my long con. This will be the best Valentine’s Day of my life!

It all started nearly 20 years ago in middle school. I was a little awkward, had no close friends. All the other boys played football or basketball together. I didn’t see the point. I was happy when I got home after school and could continue my game of Dungeons & Dragons. There was nothing more soothing than creating and controlling this world, especially when I played all the characters.
Everything changed when Stacy moved to town. She was absolutely gorgeous when she showed up at school the first time. She wore a purple dress with brown stockings, pink shoes, and a yellow bow tie in her long, straight black hair. I loved the way her glasses magnified her stunning brown eyes like she was always watching your every move. At recess the boys were playing a big game of football and the girls were gossiping about the cutest boy of the week. I sat in my usual corner between the brick walls of the building thinking about my next D&D adventure when Stacy came up.

“Whatcha doin’? She asked. I put on all my charm.

“Thinking about my 26th level elf. Last night he single-handedly took out the evil Orc to save the princess.” I said proudly. I never understood why everyone laughed when I told them about my adventures.

“Ooooh.” She genuinely replied. “Maybe he could take my 15th level druid along next time.”

That was the start of something amazing. Every day we would plan our adventures, then once the bell rang would run home to play it out. We were inseparable. Not a care in the world about what the other kids thought. That is until high school started. She started to mature and care about more “adult” social interactions while I still enjoyed getting lost with her in our world together. Our daily games turned into weekly games and I was getting lonely. But it wasn’t until lunch half way through freshman year that I realized that I had lost her. She was talking with a group of her friends. I came right up to her and told her about my adventure ideas for the night. Obviously embarrassed, she pretended like she had no clue what I was talking about and that I should get a life and “go away you weirdo.”

I was devastated. I had lost my best friend. And even worse, I couldn’t play D&D anymore. It just wasn’t the same without her. She ruined my life. Nothing was fun, food didn’t taste good, and I could barely drag myself out of bed in the morning.

I had a miserable time finishing high school, but made it into college and became a computer programmer. I was doing pretty well by myself. Stacy was no longer in my thoughts, I was making good money, and being a bachelor, I owed a pretty nice house. That is when Stacy entered my life again. Twelve years ago she became the new secretary at my company. Out of all the people, it had to be her. All the rage came back, I started missing work trying to avoid her, and I became more recluse. That’s when the idea came to me. I can get her back for what she did to me. That bitch will pay!

I came back to work pretending like nothing was amiss.

“Where have you been?” She asked.

“Oh, there’s this new project idea I have. Was just trying to sort through the details.”

“Really?” She said intrigued. “What’s the idea?”

“How about over dinner tonight?” I asked.

“Sure!” She giggled, excited about going out.

We had a nice dinner and I told her all about a new game the company had been working on, my “great idea.” After a few drinks we went back to my place. It was much easier than I though. I guess having a nice house and extra spending cash was more attractive than I had imagined. She quickly fell for me. Before long we were going out or I would cook for her every night, and she moved in within the year. It didn’t take much convincing once I planted the seed that she wouldn’t have to pay rent anymore.

Then the day came. I proposed to her. We had traveled to the Caribbean for one of our long weekend getaways. After a romantic dinner, we walked up to the top of a hill for a nice view of the beach where I had hundreds of candles laid out to say, “Marry me, Stacy.” She was aghast, and crying said, “Yes! Of course, I love you so much!” I had her. She was in my pocket. She won’t know what hit her.

We planned our wedding for Valentine’s Day of 2005. How romantic. We were married in the French Riviera with all her friends and family out for the ceremony. She was so happy. Little did she know. We had three kids together and had many wonderful family vacations. Every Valentine’s Day we would leave for a weeklong romantic getaway to celebrate our anniversary. I treated her like a goddess and she ate up every bit of it.

But now, finally, our ten-year wedding anniversary is this Saturday, Valentine’s Day 2015. We are renewing our vows with all our friends and family invited back to our wedding venue. I finally get to tell her the truth in front of all these people, that this whole life of hers has been a lie. I have never loved her or those god-awful kids that came out of her. It's going to be amazing. I can’t wait to see those tears pouring out of her eyes when she understands. Let that be a lesson to you, Stacy. You don’t mess with a D&D master!

title: [RF] The Long Con

question: Summarize the theme of revenge in the story?

answer: The narrator is a computer programmer who has been in love with a girl named Stacy since middle school. He was devastated when she rejected him in high school, and he could no longer play Dungeons and Dragons with her. He got revenge on her by marrying her and having kids with her, and then revealing to her that he never loved her. He wants to see her cry.

critique: The narrator is not in love with Stacy; he is in love with the idea of her.

critique: The narrator's revenge is not on Stacy, but on her.

critique: The narrator has never been in love with her, he has always wanted revenge.

critique: The narrator isn't a computer programmer, he is a computer programmer.

critique: The narrator's revenge is not to make her cry, but to make her feel betrayed.

critique: The third sentence can be omitted to create better flow for the paragraph.

question: What does the story say about why the narrator chose to wait ten years into his marriage with Stacey before revealing her offence to him?

answer: No answer

critique: The narrator chose to wait ten years because he wanted to create the perfect setting to reveal the truth to Stacy.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator wanted to wait until their tenth wedding anniversary to reveal the truth to Stacy.

critique: The model should explicitly put a dot at the end of sentences.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator chose to wait ten years into his marriage with Stacey before revealing her offence to him because he wanted to enjoy his revenge.


text:
[A cory catfish, a commonly kept bottom feeder species in freshwater aquaria]

A BOTTOM FEEDER is an aquatic animal that feeds on or near the bottom of a body of water.[1] Biologists often use the terms _benthos_—particularly for invertebrates such as shellfish, crabs, crayfish, sea anemones, starfish, snails, bristleworms and sea cucumbers—and _benthivore_ or _benthivorous_, for fish and invertebrates that feed on material from the bottom. However the term benthos includes all aquatic life that lives on or near the bottom, which means it also includes non-animals, such as plants and algae.[2] Biologists also use specific terms that refer to bottom feeding fish, such as demersal fish, groundfish, benthic fish and benthopelagic fish.[3] Examples of bottom feeding fish species groups are flatfish (halibut, flounder, plaice, sole), eels, cod, haddock, bass, grouper, carp, bream (snapper) and some species of catfish and shark.[4]

Feeding strategies

Some bottom feeders are detritivores.[5] This feeding strategy allows bottom feeders to take advantage of the dead organic material that drifts down through bodies of water to the floor.[6] In ocean environments, this downward drift of detritus is known as marine snow.[7] Bottom feeders may gather detritus manually, as some crab species do, or filter it out of the water using suspension feeding.[8] This recycling of organic matter is critical for the health of many aquatic environments as it helps maintain various biogeochemical cycles.[9] In 2014, it was reported that deep sea bottom feeders absorb carbon dioxide by eating creatures such as jellyfish and cephalopods, allowing the gas to be contained at the sea floor rather than be recycled back into the atmosphere.[10]

Other bottom feeders graze on living plants, as is the case in some sea urchin species.[11] Lastly, some bottom feeders are carnivorous and specialize in either hunting other bottom feeders and benthic animals, or scavenging from sunken bodies.[12]

Some carnivorous bottom feeders use the floor of their environment to ambush their prey.[13] One common method is the animal using body movements to cover itself with sand or sediment, then attempting to catch unsuspecting prey with fast strikes.[14] This tactic is used by many species of flatfish.[15] Other animals burrow into the bottom and hunt with most of the body remaining buried, as in the case of oceanic bobbit worms.[16]

Physiology

In fish, most bottom feeders exhibit a flat ventral region so as to more easily rest their body on the substrate.[17] The exception may be the flatfish, which are laterally depressed but lie on their sides.[18] Also, many exhibit what is termed an “inferior” mouth, which means that the mouth is pointed downwards; this is beneficial as their food is often going to be below them in the substrate.[19] Those bottom feeders with upward-pointing mouths, such as stargazers, tend to seize swimming prey.[20] Some flatfish such as halibut actually have a “migrating” eye that moves to the upward-facing side of the fish as it ages.[21]

Aquarium care

In the aquarium, bottom feeders are popular as it is perceived that they will clean the algae that grows in the tank. Generally, they are only useful for consuming the extra (fresh) food left by overfed or clumsy livestock; the added biomass of additional organisms means that the aquarium will likely be more dirty.[22] Some specialized bottom feeders are more specifically sold as “algae eaters” to increase the amount of free oxygen and aesthetic appeal of a tank.[23]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7] Dash, Pragyan & Kashyap, Dipanjan & Mandal, Sagar. (2012). Marine snow: Its formation and significance in fisheries and aquaculture.

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11] Norderhaug, Kjell & Christie, H.. (2009). Sea urchin grazing and kelp re-vegetation in the NE Atlantic. Marine Biology Research - MAR BIOL RES. 5. 515-528. 10.1080/17451000902932985.

[12] Mare, M. (1942). A study of a marine benthic community with special reference to the micro-organisms. _Journal of the Marine Biological Association of the United Kingdom,_ _25_(3), 517-554. doi:10.1017/S0025315400055132

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

[18]

[19]

[20] Kishimoto, Hirokazu & Last, Peter & Fujii, Eiichi & Gomon, Martin. (1988). Revision of a deep-sea stargazer genus Pleuroscopus. Japanese Journal of Ichthyology. 35. 150-158. 10.1007/BF02905400.

[21]

[22]

[23] Pedersen, Ole. (2011). The algal-free planted aquarium - grazing control. The Aquatic Gardener. 24. 32-39.

title: Bottom feeder

question: What does the text say about bottom feeder's feeding strategies?

answer: Some bottom feeders are detritivores. This feeding strategy allows bottom feeders to take advantage of the dead organic material that drifts down through bodies of water to the floor. In ocean environments, this downward drift of detritus is known as marine snow. Bottom feeders may gather detritus manually, as some crab species do, or filter it out of the water using suspension feeding. Other bottom feeders graze on living plants, and some are carnivorous and specialize in either hunting other bottom feeders and benthic animals, or scavenging from sunken bodies.

critique: The answer should mention that some bottom feeders are carnivores.

critique: The answer should mention that bottom feeders use the floor of their environment to ambush their prey.

critique: The answer omits bottom feeders' feeding strategy of hunting other bottom feeders and benthic animals.


text:
	Harry woke up last Tuesday morning. This wasn't a particularly unusual event, as he had woken up every morning in a similar manner for thirty-five years. He had developed the habit of turning the alarm off several times before crawling out of bed, and Tuesday was no different. He stumbled to the bathroom, scratched his stubble and emptied his bladder. All typical morning activities. He made his coffee, smoked a cigarette, and thumbed through the paper. Nothing atypical.
	He took a shower and pondered his existence. While this may have been an ordinary action at other times, Harry had come to a new conclusion: his life was no longer worth living.
	Harry was a thinker, and knew to take each thought with care. He kept this thought and studied it. There was validity to the thought. Harry's life was never really worth living; but, it wasn't really worth dieing for, either. He was typically caught in a penumbra of apathy.
	He finished his shower, and returned to his newspaper. Another school shooting. At a preschool, this time. The culprit was a war veteran. He unloaded his fully automatic assault rifle into the kids while they napped. The teachers were unharmed; they were fucking a few blocks away in a rented car.
	The shooter then walked down the street to a retirement home where he murdered three elderly women who were sitting on their porch. On Mondays, they liked to drink tea and knit. They found it quaint. The veteran found killing innocent people quaint. It takes all kinds.
	In his final act, the armed man walked into the main office and pulled the pin on a grenade. Twenty-five people died that day. Twelve children, ten adults, and three old ladies. But who's keeping a tally?
	Harry didn't finish the article. There had been another shooting a week ago. And another not too far beyond that. Harry had become numb to the slaughter. He grabbed his coat and drove to work, at a minor chemical manufacturer. He was a bench-chemist. He mostly cleaned glassware for people who stayed in school longer than him. But it was a job, thankless and hopeless.
	As Harry swirled a dilute sulfuric acid and potassium dichromate solution in an erlenmeyer flask, his earlier idea bubbled back into his brain. His life really wasn't worth living. The other people in the lab weren't particularly friendly. They all had families and friends and things to do. Harry often wished he had things to do.
	He wasn't an unattractive individual, but he wasn't attractive either. This enabled to go through life practically invisible. Most people never knew he was ever around. Even as a child, his family barely acknowledged his existence. He'd often have to walk home from practice or work or school simply because his parents had forgotten they had had three children.
	Once, Santa forgot about him on Christmas. He never forgave Santa. Another time, his family celebrated his birthday three weeks early. No one could remember when he was born.
	While he was studying chemistry, his parents divorced and remarried. His cousin had over-dosed on benzos. Three friends committed group suicide. His mother suffered a mental collapse and was beaten to death by her abusive meth-addicted second husband. His older brother got married, had children, and got a divorce. Harry didn't learn any of this until five years ago. It took his extended family over ten years to realize they hadn't told him.
	Harry didn't care much about his family. He was disowned by his father when he was sixteen because he smoked pot.
	Harry knew he had a gun at home. He'd stick the barrel to the side of his head and throw in the towel.
	As Harry finished his work and walked to his car, a stranger followed him into the parking lot. When Harry unlocked his car, the individual stuck the barrel of his gun to his ribcage and demanded all of Harry's possessions. Clothes, car and all.
	Harry laughed. "I'm going home to kill myself. Shoot me if you have to. You'll only hasten the process and preserve a shred of my dignity." The man shot him in the abdomen and fled. A woman heard the blast and came over to investigate.
	She saw Harry slumped on the ground, next to his car. She called an ambulance. She walked  next to Harry as he groaned. He was bleeding, as one could expect. She sat down and held his head. She stroked his hair. She said everything was going to be okay. She told him her name was Maggie. Well, Margaret, actually, but that's the name her mother used to call her when she was in trouble. Maggie didn't like that name.
	The ambulance arrived and Maggie rode with him. She lied and said she was his wife. Harry had never even been in a relationship longer than a week. Easy come, easy go.
	Maggie waited with Harry until someone close to him showed up. She was sure he had someone who would care if he got shot. Doesn't everybody?
	Nobody came asking for Harry.
	She stayed overnight, and read out loud from the book she had on her. She loved reading books out loud. Still no one arrived looking for Harry.
	Luckily, the bullet had missed the vital parts of Harry, and he was in no mortal danger. He was wounded and sore, certainly, but a far cry from dead. He woke disoriented and vaguely coherent.
	Harry wasn't a religious man, but he thought he had reached the equivalent of an after-life. He saw Maggie. An angel, certainly. The rising sun silhouetted her frizzed hair giving the illusion of a halo. Harry was glad to have seen her. Harry liked seeing beautiful things.
	"Where am I?" He asked towards Maggie.
	"The hospital."
	"Oh."
	Harry relaxed into his bedding and closed his eyes.
	"Is there anyone I should contact for you? I'm sure someone's worried sick about you."
	"Nope. What you see is what you get."
	Maggie moved next to Harry and held his hand. "I'm Maggie. It's going to be okay."
	Harry smiled. Maybe things were finally turning for the better. "I've got to go to work. I'll be back this evening." She left, and passed a medical school student on her way in.
	The medical school intern stared at a chart, then looked at the name on Harry's chart.
        "Harry is like Barry. It must just be a typo." The intern thought to herself. She attached the I.V. line into Harry's arm.
	Harry died later that afternoon. He had a major allergic reaction to the penicillin that the intern had pumped into his arm. Easy come, easy go.

title: Last Tuesday

question: Summarize the ironic twist at the end of the story.

answer: Where the story begins, with Harry thinking about killing himself, it ends with him in the hospital for a severe allergic reaction to penicillin. Harry has died at the hands of the very person who is supposed to be helping him, further illustrating the irony of his life. In the end, Harry does not get to die a dignified death-he dies because of an allergic reaction to penicillin.

critique: It is omitted that even thinking about being a chemists does not help him.

critique: The summary should be more specific about the irony of Harry's death.

question: What are some negative events that happen to the narrator?

answer: The narrator is ignored by his family and other people. His father disowns him for smoking marijuana. His mother dies in a domestic assault by a second husband addicted to meth. The narrator is shot and robbed by a stranger and is left for dead. The narrator wakes to find an angel named Maggie, who tells him everything is going to be okay, but he later dies as well.

critique: The narrator is not ignored by his family.

critique: Doesn't mention that three friends try to kill themselves, and his cousin overdoses.

question: Summarize Harry's relationship with Maggie.

answer: Maggie is a stranger who leaves her car and follows Harry because she notices that he's being robbed. she saves him from getting shot, and she sees to it that Harry is alright after the shooting. Although, they don't know each other very well, she stays with him until someone close to him, like a family member, arrives. She then promises, to the dying Harry, that someone prestigious would take care of hi. However, no one arrives, which results in Harry admitting to Maggie that there isn't anyone around to worry or care. While there is no romantic or deep attraction between them; Maggie genuinely cares for him. For example she read to him out loud a book she liked due to his being in the hospital.

critique: The second paragraph is a little confusing and should be re-written.

question: What does the story say about gun control?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that there was a school shooting.


text:
Hello all,

This is a short story I wrote way back in school for a piece of coursework, now lightly tweaked and finessed. Its the first time I've ever shared my writing, so I hope you enjoy it!
___________________________________________________________

The Rescue

  It was a rainy day in 1943. The ground was covered in standing water, and all operations at RAF Leuchars, a coastal Command base in Scotland, had been cancelled. All except one.

Somewhere over the North Sea at 22,000 feet, a lone DeHavilland Mosquito reconnaissance plane roared defiantly through the rain, homeward bound.

"Not a moment too soon", thought the Pilot, Squadron Leader George Smythe, as he tried unsuccessfully for the sixth time to make contact with the airfield over the wireless. His mission to photograph the German defences in a Norwegian Fjord had been a total washout, obscured by the low, thick cloud.

“Dash this weather,” he muttered to himself, knowing that the storm was disrupting his radio reception. Shivering, he huddled lower in his Irvin jacket and peered through the windscreen, straining to see though the driving rain that reduced visibility to virtually nothing, and constantly checking his compass to make sure he was on the right course.

Suddenly, the starboard Rolls Royce V-12 engine coughed and backfired.  With an ear-splitting bang, it finally seized and exploded, shredding a large portion of the wing. Smythe instinctively ducked as pieces of debris bounced off the cockpit and smashed the canopy, and fought in vain with controls as a severed aileron trailed uselessly in the slipstream. As an oil fire from the shattered fluid lines began to take hold in the remains of the wooden wing structure, the plane slowly rolled onto its back and went into a dive it would never come out of.

“Mayday, Mayday, this is Red One going down, repeat, I am going down,” Smythe frantically yelled into the radio before, struggling against dive-induced the g-forces, he heaved back the battered canopy and bailed out. To his relief his parachute opened with a mighty jerk, leaving him to watch as the stricken Mosquito plunged into the dark swirling sea with an almighty splash. He knew with a sickening feeling that he would be following it.

He knew it was going to be unpleasant, but nothing could have prepared him for the shock of just how cold the water was – indeed, it was like ‘being stabbed with a thousand knives’, to quote the phrase he had so often heard from fellow pilots who had ditched in the sea and survived. As he went under, he hastily unbuckled his parachute to prevent it enveloping and drowning him. Gasping at the sheer cold, he swam to distance himself from the jellyfish-like parachute, whilst struggling to remove the Irvin jacket that was now rapidly multiplying in weight.

For perhaps an hour, maybe two – he had no way of telling how long for his watch had stopped in the water – he floated in his Mae-West life vest, tossed about by the angry waves and aware that each further minute he spent in the frigid water significantly reduced his chances of survival. Surely he must succumb to hypothermia soon? He could no longer feel his hands or feet, and delirium began to set in as his body temperature dropped. Was he hearing things now, or was that a drone coming from up above? It was- it was an aircraft! A Short Sunderland search and rescue aircraft materialised out of the gloom, and he hurriedly fumbled with his frozen fingers to remove the maritime flare from his lifejacket pocket. He fired it just in time, and as the dull orange projectile streaked across the sky an inflatable lifeboat appeared from the back of the Sunderland. It descended towards him, landing with a loud slap on the water a few yards away - he was saved! Clambering aboard, he waved a grateful greeting as the huge search and rescue aircraft circled overhead, and watched as it turned and lumbered back to its port. He settled down in the lifeboat, safe in the knowledge that the crew would have passed on his position to the Navy.

Sure enough, a little over an hour later, a trail of smoke appeared, and slowly revealed itself to be a Royal Navy cruiser. As it drew nearer, he could see men running about on the decks with binoculars, and he could hear crisp commands echoing across the water. As the cruiser drew alongside and gradually slowed to a halt, a greeting rang out from the deck.

“Are you Smythe?” it asked.

 “That's me!,” he yelled back, “I say, how about getting me out of the drink?”

“Hold on, grab this,” the voice replied, as a youthful sailor ran across the deck, leaned over the railing and fastened some rigging to the rail. With a practiced heave, he threw the other end over the side. No sooner had the rigging tumbled into the water, unraveling as it went, Smythe grabbed hold of it for dear life before the waves could whip it away again. Tying a securing strap from the lifeboat to the end, he proceeded to haul himself towards the ship with some difficulty, hampered  by his saturated clothes and numb limbs. Reaching the railing, a waiting group of sailors grabbed his arms and helped pull him over, whereupon he flopped to the deck like a wet fish, exhausted by his exertion and the cold. Slowly dragging himself into a sitting position, he watched as the sailors proceeded to recover the rigging and attached lifeboat, manhandling it onto the deck.

“Gosh, thanks for all your effort chaps,” Smythe congratulated them through chattering teeth, “it was jolly cold out there! Now, I believe I have a date with a blanket and a rather large cup of tea ”…

title: [HF] The Rescue

question: Summarize the climatic event in the story.

answer: The climactic event in the story is when the rescue plane, a Short Sunderland, comes to rescue Squadron Leader George Smythe. The plane lands with a loud slap on the water a few yards away, and Smythe is saved.

critique: The answer should mention the rescue by the navy.

critique: The rescue operation happens as described, but Smythe's journey continues after the rescue.

critique: The answer should mention the rescue attempt by the sailors.

critique: The answer should mention that Smythe is rescued from the water.

critique: The rescue plane is the Short Sunderland, not the climactic event. The climactic event is when Smythe is rescued by the rescue plane.

critique: The plane lands a few yards away from Smythe, not the other way around.


text:
As people happily played yet to be released video games in a booth behind me, I stood guard, people watching, and answering questions for attendees.

She had walked by a few times before I worked up the courage to speak with her. I found my chance when she finished playing a new racing game’s demo and turned to wait for her turn to play a first person shooter.

Abandoning my post, I stood beside her. “You look bored,” I said, feigning confidence.

“Oh, no,” she replied in a shy voice with a European accent, “I’m just waiting to play the game.”

It was clear to me that she didn’t want to have a conversation.

“Well, let me know if you feel like they’re taking too long. Have a good time.”

Her accent was wondrous to me, and being a francophile, I decided that she was French.

I found myself glancing at her every few minutes, sneaking a peak at the most beautiful woman in a sea of 20,000 attendees’ faces, until I found her looking back at me with a frustrated expression. She waved me over as we made eye contact.

She is left handed and was having trouble with the control scheme, I changed the settings for her and my heart fluttered as she smiled and thanked me. After a few moments of watching her play the game, I returned to my post and stared out into the crowd. Finally, I decided that it was imperative for me to speak with her again. My life could not possibly continue until I did so.

Turning to return to her side, I looked around in a panic. I had missed my chance. She was gone. Her match must have ended and she had gone off to continue with her convention experience. I convinced myself that she was better off for it.

Hours passed by as I stared out into the crowd, helping people find booths and explaining how to play various games. A tap on my shoulder and glimpse of blonde in my peripheral vision startled me. She was back and holding a small paper bag.

“Would you like some popcorn?” she offered in the same shy voice.

A few moments passed while, having decided she was not French, I tried to place her accent. Finally, I replied, “No thanks.”

‘Damnit, I thought, ‘should have said yes!’

“But the convention closes in 30 minutes, would you like to go to dinner?”

‘Nice! Good save.’

My mind raced as I awaited her response. Ready for rejection, I sat down on the high chair behind me. She moved forward, close enough for me to feel the warmth radiating from her perfect body.

I don’t remember what she said, only that the impression was something along the lines of, “Yes.”

Flabbergasted, I smiled wide and she smiled back. What a beautiful smile, I was speechless.

My supervisor saw us and beckoned me over. “I think we’ve got it under control for today if you want to take off early.”

A expression of gratitude was all I could manage, but I knew my message made it when he laughed and told me to go have some fun.

At the time, I didn’t have any clear recollection of what happiness felt like, but I knew this was it. She had given me a gift, and her presence was awe-inspiring.

Over the course of the next three days, we walked miles and miles through the city. Our destination was irrelevant, even the path was irrelevant, the companionship was what mattered.

I fell in love with her that weekend. A puppy love, a lustful love, a sudden and overwhelming love.

Not a complete love, of that I am certain, but it was so satisfying. I knew it wasn’t real and I knew that she didn’t love me back. I didn’t let it bother me, and somehow, the temporary nature of our relationship did not spoil a thing until the last day.

We set off from my hotel room early that morning. My flight to California was scheduled for the early evening, and I knew that we didn’t have long together.

My heart condition, normally maintained by medication, was exasperated by the stress induced at the thought of leaving her. The palpitations in my chest recurred every few hours as we walked Austin’s city streets for the very last time.

When we made it back to the hotel with little time to spare and as we waited for my taxi, I knew this was it. Repressing my emotions for fear of breaking into tears, I sat in silence, staring into her eyes. Her beautiful eyes, so perfect, so symmetrical. The literal definition of beauty was standing before me and I would never get to see her again. Tragic, really, I thought.

After loading my luggage into the taxi, I turned to say goodbye, only to see her crying. She reached out and hugged me and told me that she missed me already. I knew that she had given me the gift of happiness one last time. Strange, how my heart was crushed and lifted sky high in the same moment. The agony of leaving her, of seeing her cry, and the glee of knowing that someone cared for me.

The feeling was incredible. A feeling I had never felt before, a feeling I have not felt since. She had given me my emotions back. She had freed me from the mental shackles of my many neurosis. She had made me real.

—

We kept in touch for a few weeks, but as I wanted to send her more messages, she seemed to send me less. I decided not to bother her, it was only making me feel worse.

We haven’t spoken in months.

I miss her.

title: [NF] I met a girl this summer. [x-post: /r/Oluutaa]

question: Describe the relationship between the narrator and the girl and his feelings for her.

answer: The boy is attending a convention and working as a guard for it. He sees a beautiful girl and approaches her. After exchanging small talk with her, the narrator discovers that her flight pack has ended and he sees his. They both agree to go out to dinner. On their last day together the narrator's emotions surge when they meet but knowing the night would be the last time they saw each other demolishes them. They shared a hug.

critique: The narrator's emotions surge when they meet, not the girl.

critique: The narrator's emotions surge when they meet, not when they see each other.

critique: The narrator's emotions don't surge, he feels them.

critique: The narrator is not attending a convention. He is working as a guard.

critique: The answer is a summary of the story, but it's not the story. It should be rewritten.

critique: Embellished details distracting from the point.

critique: The narrator's flight pack is not mentioned.

text: Should clarify that he's working as a tech demonstrator at the convention. Should also describe their spending days together in Austin and his falling in love, his fear that she didn't feel the same way, and his relief when she's distraught by his leaving. Should also mention that even though they expressed similar feelings for each other, they stopped communicating shortly thereafter.

category: coverage

refinement: The boy is attending a convention and working as a guard for it. He sees a beautiful girl and approaches her. After exchanging small talk with her, the narrator discovers that her flight pack has ended and he sees his. They both agree to go out to dinner. On their last day together the narrator's emotions surge when they meet but knowing the night would be the last time they saw each other demolishes them. They shared a hug.


text:
STANFORD SHEROCK KEGLAR (born July 4, 1985) is an American football linebacker who is currently a free agent. He was drafted by the Tennessee Titans in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He played college football at Purdue.

Early years

Stanford Sherock Keglar was born on July 4, 1985 in Indianapolis, Indiana.[1] Playing at Pike High School in Indianapolis, Indiana, he was coached by former Purdue defensive back Ken Coudret.[2] As a junior, he had 72 tackles, four sacks, four fumble recoveries and one interception.[3] During his senior season, Keglar totaled 83 tackles, five sacks, two forced fumbles, two fumble recoveries and one interception.[4] After the season, he was named honorable mention All-State, First-Team All County and First Team All-Conference.[5] He was ranked as the eighth best college football prospect in Indiana and the 26th best linebacker by _Rivals.com_.[6] During his high school years he also participated in track & field as well as swimming and was sectional winner in the 50 freestyle.[7]

College career

2003

Keglar played in only one game as a freshman at Purdue before suffering a high ankle sprain and missing the rest of the season.[8]

2004

During his sophomore year, he started all 12 games.[9] Keglar recorded 61 tackles, three pass breakups, and one forced fumble.[10] Against Notre Dame he had a career high seven tackles.[11]

2005

As a junior, Keglar appeared in 10 games, starting six.[12] He ranked fourth on the team with 50 tackles and added one sack and a pass breakup.[13] On September 17 against Arizona he equaled his career high with seven tackles.[14]

2006

Appearing in all 14 games and starting 10 as a senior at Purdue, Keglar had 69 tackles, five pass breakups, one interception, one forced fumble and a fumble recovery.[15] Keglar broke his career high in tackles with 10 against Ball State.[16] He had a team high nine tackles in the Champs Sports Bowl against Maryland.[17]

Professional career

Tennessee Titans

Keglar was drafted by the Tennessee Titans in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL Draft. He was signed on July 15, 2008.[18] In 13 games as a rookie he totaled 12 tackles.[19] On September 5, 2010, Keglar was waived by Tennessee.

Houston Texans

Keglar signed with the Houston Texans on October 25, 2010. He was cut on September 3, 2011.

Minnesota Vikings

Keglar was signed by the Vikings on May 29, 2013. He was cut on June 27, 2013.

Vikings re-signed Keglar again on August 6, 2013 after cutting Nathan Williams.[20] Keglar was again released by the Vikings on August 26, 2013 (along with 12 others) to get to a 75-man roster.[21]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13]

[14]

[15]

[16]

[17]

[18]

[19]

[20]

[21]

title: Stanford Keglar

question: Summarize possible negative moments in Keglar's career.

answer: He was signed on to the Tennessee Titans in the fourth round of the 2008 NFL draft. He was then signed on to the Houston Texans in October 2010 and was cut in September 2011. He was signed by the Vikings on May 29, 2013 but was cut on June 27, 2013. Then, later in 2013, he was signed again by the Vikings only to be cut by them on August 26, 2013.

critique: It is omitted that he was waived by the Titans in 2010.

critique: The answer should mention his ankle injury.

critique: The answer omits that he was signed by the Vikings in August 2013 and then cut in September 2013.

critique: It is omitted that he had a high ankle sprain in 2003.

critique: The answer omits that he was waived by the Titans in 2010.

critique: It is repetitive to say "was cut" and even a bit of redundancy to reiterate information. I would delete the sentence and simply phrase that he was "cut" on several occasions.

question: Summarize Keglar's high school years.

answer: Keglar played at Pike High School in Indianapolis, Indiana. He was coached by former Purdue defensive back Ken Coudret. As a junior, he had 72 tackles, four sacks, four fumble recoveries, and one interception. During his senior season, he had 83 tackles, five sacks, two forced fumbles, two fumble recoveries, and one interception. After the season, he was named honorable mention All-State, First-Team All County, and First Team All-Conference. He was ranked as the eighth best college football prospect in Indiana and the 26th best linebacker by Rivals.com. During his high school years, he also participated in track and field as well as swimming and was a sectional winner in the 50 freestyle.

critique: "He was ranked as the eighth best college football prospect in Indiana and the 26th best linebacker by Rivals.com." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

critique: The question didn't ask for a list of High school accomplishments, so it should be omitted.

critique: "As a junior, he had 72 tackles, four sacks, four fumble recoveries, and one interception. During his senior season, he had 83 tackles, five sacks, two forced fumbles, two fumble recoveries, and one interception." - this is redundant and should be deleted.

critique: The answer is long, and the last sentence is not relevant.

critique: "had 83" - replace with "had 83 tackles"

critique: The answer could be more specific about his high school years.

critique: "As a junior, he had 72 tackles, four sacks, four fumble recoveries, and one interception." - this is inaccurate. He had 72 tackles, four sacks, four fumble recoveries, and one interception as a junior.

text: The answer does not 'summarize' his high-school years, it simply copies the whole passage.

question: Summarize Keglar's best football season in college.

answer: Keglar's best football season in college was his senior year. He appeared in all 14 games and started 10. He had 69 tackles, five pass breakups, one interception, one forced fumble, and a fumble recovery. He broke his career high in tackles with 10 against Ball State. He had a team high nine tackles in the Champs Sports Bowl against Maryland.

critique: "69 tackles, five pass breakups" is an incongruous description for the "one forced fumble" bit. It should be removed.

critique: "He appeared in all 14 games and started 10 as a senior at Purdue, Keglar had 69 tackles, five pass breakups, one interception, one forced fumble and a fumble recovery." - this is Keglar's best season in college and not his senior year.

critique: The answer omits that Keglar was also a standout player in high school.

critique: The answer should mention that he was named honorable mention All-State, First-Team All County and First Team All-Conference.

critique: "He broke his career high in tackles with 10 against Ball State." - this is inaccurate. He broke his career high in tackles with 10 against Ball State.

critique: The answer doesn't mention his honorable mention All-State, First-Team All County, and First Team All-Conference awards.

question: What does the text say about Keglar's personal life?

answer: No answer

critique: The text does mention Keglar's personal life.

critique: The answer should mention that he was born in 1985.

critique: The text does not mention anything about Keglar's personal life.

critique: The text does mention his personal life.

critique: It is omitted that Keglar was born in Indianapolis, Indiana.

critique: The subsequent information is available, but it is not explicitly stated.


text:
COHORS SECUNDA DELMATARUM (“2nd Cohort of Dalmatae”) was a Roman auxiliary infantry regiment. It is named after the Dalmatae, an Illyrian-speaking tribe that inhabited the Adriatic coastal mountain range of the eponymous Dalmatia. The ancient geographer Strabo describes these mountains as extremely rugged, and the Dalmatae as backward and warlike. He claims that they did not use money long after their neighbours adopted it and that they “made war on the Romans for a long time”. He also criticizes the Dalmatae, a nation of pastoralists, for turning fertile plains into sheep pasture.[1] Indeed, the name of the tribe itself is believed to mean “shepherds”, derived from the Illyrian word _delme_ (“sheep”).[2] The final time this people fought against Rome was in the Illyrian revolt of 6-9 AD. The revolt was started by Dalmatae auxiliary forces and soon spread all over Dalmatia and Pannonia. The resulting war was described by the Roman writer Suetonius as the most difficult faced by Rome since the Punic Wars two centuries earlier. But after the war, the Dalmatae became a loyal and important source of recruits for the Roman army.

According to Holder, a total of 12 _cohortes Delmatarum_ appear to have been raised after the suppression of the Illyrian revolt in two series, of 7 and 5 respectively. All these units were in existence by the time of emperor Claudius (r. 41-54)[3] Of these, 9 appear to have survived into the 2nd century.[4]

The regiment was probably raised by founder-emperor Augustus (r. 30BC-14AD) after 9 AD. It was certainly in existence by the time of Claudius (r. 41-54).[5] Its early movements are unknown. Holder suggests that the regiment may have taken part in the Roman invasion of Britain (43), but there is no supporting evidence. It first appears in the datable epigraphic record in 105, in Britannia. It was still there in the 3rd century, the time of its last roughly datable inscription, a votive altar at _Magnis_ (Carvoran, Northumbria).[6] The _Notitia Dignitatum_, a late Roman official document, records a _cohors II Delmatarum_ at _Magnis_ under the dux Britanniarum, the commander of _limitanei_ (border forces) along Hadrian's Wall.[7] The Western section of the _Notitia_ was drawn up in the 420's but the British units must date to before 410, when the island was evacuated by the Roman army.

The names of 2 _praefecti_ (regimental commanders) are attested. One, Iulius Maximus is attested as from the city of Rome (135). The other, Marcus Caecilius Donatianus, is attested in the votive altar at Carvoran (3rd century) to a _virgo caelestis_ (“celestial virgin”), probably Tanit, the guardian-goddess of Carthage, implying that Donatianus was perhaps from Africa proconsularis. Also attested is an _imaginifer_ (bearer of the imperial image) (3rd century) and a _pedes_ (common foot soldier) of the Treveri Gallic tribe (135).[8]

Citations

[1] Strabo _Geographia_ VII.5

[2] Spaul (2000) 304

[3] Holder (1980) 112

[4] Spaul (2000) 302-14

[5]

[6]

[7] _Notitia Dignitatum_ Title Occidens XL

[8]

title: Cohors II Delmatarum

question: Summarize everything related to battles.

answer: The Illyrian revolt of 6-9AD was described by the Roman writer Suetonius as the most difficult faced by Rome since the Punic Wars two centuries earlier. After the war, the Dalmatae became a loyal and important source of recruits for the Roman army. Unknown where exactly the regiment was at the time of the founding. Holder suggests that the regiment may have taken part in the Roman invasion of Britain. There is no specific evidence, but they were in Britain sometime around 105.

critique: "Unknown where exactly the regiment was at the time of the founding." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the regiment was founded at the time of the founding of Rome.

critique: It is omitted that the Dalmatae were based in Britain.

critique: The response should include the name of the place in Britain the regiment was stationed in.

question: Summarize everything relating to historical fgures.

answer: The 2nd Cohort of Dalmatae was probably raised by founder-emperor Augustus. The regiment was in existence by the time of Claudius. The names of two regimental commanders are attested. One is Iulius Maximus, from the city of Rome. The other is Marcus Caecilius Donatianus, from Africa proconsularis.

text: There are other historical figures in the article that aren't mentioned in the answer, like the ancient geographer Strabo.

question: What does the article say about the cohors secunda delmatarum's battles with nations other than Rome?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention the Illyrian revolt.

critique: The answer should mention that the article does not mention any battles with nations other than Rome.

text: There's a possibility that they fought in the Roman invasion of Britain.


text:
Damn. Now I really didn't see this happening. Of all the things to happen at this bland school and this is the shit that happens. Wow. I guess I'm getting a bit carried, let me start from the beginning.
          My school, Jefferson Middle School, is rather boring, nothing really exciting happens here except the occasional girl drama that usally goes like, "Brian likes me! Not you, skany hoe!" And ends in a matter of three days. I'm usually quiet, if you were to call me "popular girl," you would be wrong but calling me a "nerd" wouldn't be right either. I was just sort of there. I had my friends and that's all I needed. That's where this story starts. With my friend, Daniel. Daniel was a pretty intresting boy. All acceralted classes, loved video games and comics, and wasn't bad looking at all. Over the first year of middle school, Daniel and I became pretty close. Hanging out after school and learning about eachother. It was pretty nice. Daniel loved life and he wasn't afraid to show it. If he had something to say, oh would he say it, but he was never disrespectful about it. He was always being a gentlemen. People always said shit about him.
         "Oh! Did you hear about Daniel? I heard he was sucking cock in the bathroom!"
         "Daniel the fag!"
         "Daniel should go burn in fucking hell with all the other fags that enjoy buttsex!" Get the trend here? They kept on saying he was gay, over and over. Through messages on Facebook, notes, or even writing on bathroom walls, which is very cliche. There have been times where I have asked if he was gay and I would get the same answer every time.
          "Do you think I am?" Over and over, he never changed it. Daniel was really proud and he felt as if he shouldn't state if he were gay or not and I really admire that about him. 8th grade started and I assumed that the gay jokes would have gotten old by now, but they didn't. They actual got worse. More people started calling him a "fag, dick-sucker," and spreading rumors that I don't even wanna remember. I noticed a change in Daniel, he wasn't as outgoing, didn't speak his mind, became less quite, less proud. I tried helping him, I really did but it never worked. He seemed to just become more depressed. Those kids never noticed either, they just attacked him more and more, getting more ruthless with each insult. This drama was lasting way more than three days and I wasn't sure what would happen. Shit even got worsed.
          That's when I heard the intercom come on one day during class.
       "Students, I am sad to announce that our student, Daniel Rigsbee, has died yesterday." They didn't tell us how he died, but we all knew. He killed himself. The voice of the principal announcing his death was so fucking emotionless, it made it seem as if Daniel was some character in a movie that died. Everyone was silent. I was filled with anger. Those ruthless bastards did this. They didn't know when to stop. The minute the bell rang, I sprinted to his house asking if it was true was they said today. His father simply nodded and beckoned me in. He said that there was a note left in his room directed to me and "bitches." I walked to his room, feeling as if I was going to puke. I found the note, all directed in rainbows, colors, and smiley faces. It made me sick. I opened the note with nervoness and read.
        "Dear Juno and the son of bitches at school. Let me make this clear. I am not fucking gay. I am as straight as the pole your mom dances on. I should not have to tell people this, it's my life and you shouldn't be butting in. Pun intended. You caused this and I hope you feel great. You did it! You've killed me! I'm not gonna say that this wasn't your guys' fault because fuck that. It totally was. I hope you live with that burden that you killed me for your whole life. Juno, I hope you live a great life and don't cry over me, you didn't cause this. You are amazing and don't let people do what they did to me to you. I would punch their neck. (:
                                            Bye,
                                                  Daniel-Not fucking gay-Rigsbee
        What the fuck? That wasn't sad at all. This was the Daniel that I knew. He killed himself because he was done of the shit. I don't think he felt sorry or anything. I don't even know. As I turned to leave, I found something else. It was another note reading, "I hope this was exciting enough for you, Juno. I am a coward. I wasn't gonna deal with this anymore. They didn't win, remerber that. I won. They get to deal with my death. -Daniel"
         Fucking. Daniel.

title: Uhhmm...Well I'm 13 and I would like to be a writer when I get older so here's one of my short stories. Reviews? Be honest.

question: What does the story say about bullying?

answer: The author believes bullies didn't care about Daniel and that their bullying tactics might have made Daniel commit suicide. She believes the bullies are the ones who killed her friend. She points out that the bullies were unrelenting, and the only resolution he could find was to kill himself.

critique: The first sentence is a bit confusing. It would be better to say that the author believes bullies didn't care about Daniel and that their bullying tactics might have made him commit suicide.

question: Summarize the narrator's relationship with Daniel.

answer: Juno and Daniel are best friends and have been since 8th grade. She cares deeply for him. However, she didn't notice the student body's cruelty towards him. She was angry when she heard he committed suicide.

critique: The answer should mention that Daniel is the one who committed suicide.

critique: The narrator's anger at Daniel's death is omitted.

text: The answer inaccurately mentions that she didn't notice the cruelty towards Daniel. However she was well aware.

question: Summarize the school's reaction to Daniel's death.

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the school's reaction was emotionless.

question: What does the story say about the bullies' reaction to Daniel's note?

answer: No answer

critique: The response can include the actual content of the note because it's declared to be public in the story.

critique: The response is incorrect. The story does not say anything about the bullies' reaction to Daniel's note.

critique: The response is not related to the passage.

critique: The answer should mention that the bullies did not react to the note.

critique: The answer should mention that the bullies didn't have a reaction.


text:
LUCCRETH MOCCU CHÍARA[1] (_floruit_ c. 665 AD)[2] was a poet from County Kerry, Ireland who wrote in archaic Old Irish. _Moccu_ is an archaic form marking affiliation to an ancestral population group or _gens_,[3] in this case the Cíarraige. James Carney identifies the poet in genealogies of the Cíarraige as the last of six sons of a certain Áine, a descendant of Mug Airt, also known as Cíar, son of the legendary Ulaid hero Fergus mac Róich and supposed founder of the Cíarraige. The genealogies add that Luccreth had no children, and that “His dwelling-place faces the church of Cluain on the south”.[4]

Works

Three poems attributed to Luccreth are preserved, all on genealogical themes. Eoin MacNeill describes him as “an experimenter in the production of new metres”, blending older syllabic and alliterative verse forms with newer, accentual and rhyming verse forms.[5]

_Conailla Medb míchuru_

The 73-line poem _Conailla Medb Míchuru_ (“Medb enjoined evil contracts”) is preserved, along with a later prose introduction, in a genealogical tract in the 15th-century manuscript Laud Misc 610 in the Bodleian Library,[6] and has been edited and translated by P. L. Henry.[7] It contains one of the earliest references in Irish literature to events and characters of the Ulster Cycle, telling of the Ulaid hero Fergus mac Róich's exile from his king, Conchobar, to queen Medb and king Ailill, and his involvement in their war over the Ulaid's cattle. However, his exile is not in Connacht, as in the extant versions of _Táin Bó Cúailnge_ and related stories, but in Tara. Cú Chulainn does not appear, his role taken by Fergus' son Fiacc, who defends the Ulaid against his father's battalions. The poem goes on to tell how the descendants of the Ulaid hero Cethern settled in the midlands, and later migrated to Munster in the time of Óengus mac Nad Froích (d. 490).[8] Luccreth refers to the material he presents as _sen-eolas_ (“old knowledge”), traditional material passed down from his ancestors.[9]

_Ba mol Mídend midlaige_

Another poem ascribed to Luccreth is _Ba mol Mídend midlaige_ (“It was the prophetic utterance of Midend, the fool”),[10] also found in the Laud genealogical tract.[11] It tells how the ancestors of the Corcu Óchae, a people of Munster who traced their ancestry to an Ulster Cycle character, Dubthach Dóeltenga,[12] migrated from Ulster to Munster following the eruption of Lough Neagh.[13]

_Cú-cen-máthair_

The third work attributed to Luccreth is _Cú-cen-máthair_ (“hound without a mother”), a poem on the genealogy of the Eóganachta king Cathal Cú-cen-máthair (d. 665).[14] It includes an early account of the 72 peoples said to have been dispersed from the plain of Shinar, each with their own language, following the Tower of Babel. However, their names, arranged in Irish metre, have been shown to derive not from _Genesis_, but rather from the roster of nations, former Roman provinces and other places mentioned in St. Isidore's _Etymologiae_ (Books IX and XIV):

  "_Bithin, Scithin, Scuitt, Scill,_
  _Scarthaig, Greic, Guitt, Gaill._
  _Germain, Point, Pampil muaid,_
  _Moraind luind, Lugdoin uaig._
  _Oatri, Cipri, Ciclaid, Creit,_
  _Corsic, Sardain, Sicil, Reit._
  _Rigind, Rudi, Romain mair,_
  _Masail, Mussin, Macedoin nair._
  _Numin, Noric, Nombithi braiss,_
  _Bretain, Belgaich, Boet maiss._
  _Magoich, Armein, amais gairg,_
  _Galait, Achaid, Athain aird._
  _Alain, Albain, Hircain oig,_
  _Etail, Espain, Guith goich._
  _Grinne fairne Frainc, Frig,_
  _Fresin, Longbaird luind lir._
  _Lacdemoin, Tessail, Traic,_
  _Troian, Dardain, Dalmait, Daic._

This listing, in several variants, seems to have become well known in medieval Ireland, as forms of it appear in both _Auraicept na n-Éces_[15] and the later _Lebor Gabála Érenn_.

[1] alternative spellings: Luccrad, Luccraid, Lucrith; mocu; Cíara, Chérrai, Cheri, Cerai, Gerai

[2] Eoin MacNeill, “A Pioneer of Nations: part II”, _Studies: An Irish Quarterly Review_ vol 11, no 43, 1922, pp. 435-446

[3] T. M. Charles-Edwards, _Early Irish and Welsh Kinship_, Oxford University Press, 1993, p. 149

[4] James Carney, “Three Old Irish Accentual Poems”, _Ériu_ vol 22, 1971, pp. 23-80

[5]

[6] Kuno Meyer, “The Laud Genealogies and Tribal Histories”, _Zeitschrift für celtische Philologie_ 8, 1912, pp. 291-338

[7] P. L. Henry, “_Conailla Medb Míchuru_ and the Tradition of Fiacc Son of Fergus”, in Séamus Mac Mathúna and Ailbhe Ó Corráin (eds.), _Miscellanea Celtica in memoriam Heinrich Wagner_, Uppsala, 1997, pp. 53-70

[8]

[9] James Carney, “Language and literature in 1169”, in Dáibhí Ó Cróinín (ed.), _A New History of Ireland 1: Prehistoric and Early Ireland_, Oxford University Press, 2005, pp. 451-510

[10]

[11]

[12] Dáibhí Ó Cróinín, “Prosopographical Analysis of _Táin Bó Cúailnge_ in a Historical Setting”, in Hildegard L. C. Tristram (ed.), _New Methods in the Research of Epic_, Gunter Narr Verlag, 1998, pp. 153-160

[13]

[14]

[15] George Calder, _Auraicept na n-éces : the scholars' primer_, 1917: Introduction, p. xxxii.

title: Luccreth moccu Chiara

question: Describe everything about the poetic tradition Luccreth worked in.

answer: He used older verse forms like syllabic and alliterative with newer verse forms like accentual and rhyming. One of his poems is an adaptation of an older piece. Another is an augur prophecy. The third contains the Tower of Babel. He used genealogical materials for his poems.

critique: The details about Luccreth's poems are irrelevant to the question.

critique: The third poem is not an augur prophecy.

critique: "He used older verse forms like syllabic and alliterative with newer verse forms like accentual and rhyming. One of his poems is an adaptation of an older piece. Another is an augur prophecy. The third contains the Tower of Babel." He combines several poem forms with genealogical materials.

critique: The answer omits the genealogical theme of the poems.

critique: The third poem is not an augur prophecy, but a genealogy.

critique: The answer should mention the genealogical themes of his poems.

text: The response is missing the part about Chiara writing in archaic Old Irish.

question: What innovations did Luccreth add to the Irish poetic tradition?

answer: He blended older syllabic and alliterative verse forms with newer, accentual and rhyming verse forms.

critique: Doesn't mention that he was an experimenter in the production of new metres.

critique: "He blended older syllabic and alliterative verse forms with newer, accentual and rhyming verse forms." - this is incorrect. He experimented with new meters.

critique: The answer should mention that he was an experimenter.

question: Describe the influence Luccreth had on Irish poetry.

answer: Luccreth is noted for having experimented with different forms of verse, and for having influenced Irish poetry greatly. His experiments would become known as the "old knowledge" that would be passed down from generation to generation.

critique: It is omitted that the poems attributed to him are genealogical themes.

critique: The answer should mention the three poems attributed to Luccreth.

critique: The response is not related to the question.

critique: It is not stated that his experiments would become known as the "old knowledge" that would be passed down from generation to generation.

critique: The last part of the response is inaccurate. There is no mention of "old knowledge" in the passage.


text:
AVIFILOPLUMA (“bird filoplumes”) is a clade containing all animals with feathers. Unlike most clades, which are defined based on relative relationships, Avifilopluma is defined based on an _apomorphy_, that is, a unique physical characteristic shared by one group and not found outside that group (in this case, feathers). It includes all coelurosaurs, some orionoides, and one or two basal tetanurans.

Definition

The clade Avifilopluma was created along with several other apomorphy-based clades relating to birds by Jacques Gauthier and Kevin de Queiroz in a 2001 paper. Their specific definition for the group was “the clade stemming from the first pan-avian with feathers homologous (synapomorphic) with those of _Aves_ (_Vultur gryphus_ Linnaeus 1758).”[1]

The authors went on to define specifically what qualified as a “feather”: Any filamentous structure arising from a follicle in the skin, with a hollow base, that shares common ancestry with the feathers of modern birds.[2]

Content

Gauthier and de Queiroz originally referred a number of prehistoric species to this group, on the basis of fossilized feather traces. These included what they considered to be non-avian dinosaurs such as _Sinornithosaurus_, _Archaeopteryx_, and the enantiornithines, all of which had true feathers. They tentatively considered the simpler feathers of other dinosaurs like _Sinosauropteryx_ and _Beipiaosaurus_ to be homologues of modern feathers and thus probably included in Avifilopluma. Therefore, they concluded that Avifilopluma would include most of the clade Maniraptora or Coelurosauria.[3]

The authors went further, and speculated that pending more complete knowledge of dinosaur skin structures, even the most primitive theropods could turn out to be avifiloplumans.[4] This idea gained tentative support with the discovery of _Tianyulong_, an ornithischian dinosaur with apparently hollow, filamentous feather-like fibers covering its body. This specimen was described by Zheng and colleagues in 2009, who noted definite similarities between the filaments of _Tianyulong_ and coelurosaurian theropods, supporting the idea that all such structures were homologous with modern feathers, and pushing the origin of feathers back to the origin of dinosaurs or earlier.[5] The discovery of _Kulindadromeus_ supported the idea that feathers were already present in the last common ancestor of ornithischians and theropods, which was either the first dinosaur or the first ornithoscelidan depending on how ornithischians are related to other dinosaurs.[6][7]

Some scientists have gone even further and suggested that the downy filaments present in some species of pterosaur are also feathers, and if this is the case, it would place the origin of feathers at or before the primitive split between dinosaurs and pterosaurs (Ornithodira).[8][9] It has been suggested that _Longisquama_ could be associated with the origin of feathers [10] and that their origin might have even preceded the appearance of the first crown archosaurs.[11] [Distribution of feather types among dinosaurs according to Benton _et al_., 2019. The authors also consider pterosaurs feathered animals.[12]]

[1] Gauthier, J. and de Queiroz, K. (2001). "Feathered dinosaurs,flying dinosaurs, crown dinosaurs,and the name “Aves”". Pp. 7-41 in Gauthier, J. and L.F. Gall (eds.), _New Perspectives on the Origin and Early Evolution of Birds: Proceedings of the International Symposium in Honor of John H. Ostrom_. New Haven: Peabody Museum of Natural History, Yale University. .

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7] Andrea, C. A. U. (2018). The assembly of the avian body plan: a 160-million-year long process. _Bollettino della Società Paleontologica Italiana_, _57_(1), 2.

[8] Czerkas, S.A., and Ji, Q. (2002). A new rhamphorhynchoid with a headcrest and complex integumentary structures. In: Czerkas, S.J. (Ed.). _Feathered Dinosaurs and the Origin of Flight_. The Dinosaur Museum:Blanding, Utah, 15-41. .

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

title: Avifilopluma

question: Summarize some interesting facts about Avifilopluma.

answer: Avifilopluma is a clade containing all animals with feathers. It is defined based on an apomorphy, or a unique physical characteristic shared by one group and not found outside that group. It includes all coelurosaurs, some orionoides, and one or two basal tetanurans.

critique: The answer should mention the origin of the clade.

critique: The answer should mention the definition of Avifilopluma.

critique: It is omitted that the clade was created by Jacques Gauthier and Kevin de Queiroz in 2001.

critique: The answer should mention that Avifilopluma was created by Jacques Gauthier and Kevin de Queiroz.

critique: The answer does not mention when the clade was created.

critique: Add details about what the apomorphy is.

critique: The answer should mention that the clade was created by Jacques Gauthier and Kevin de Queiroz.

text: It is omitted that Gauthier and de Queiroz originally referred a number of prehistoric species to this group, on the basis of fossilized feather traces. These included what they considered to be non-avian dinosaurs such as Sinornithosaurus, Archaeopteryx, and the enantiornithines, all of which had true feathers.

question: How would learning about Avifilopluma be helpful to bird watchers?

answer: That information can't be found

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article does not answer the question.

critique: The article does not answer this question.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article states that Avifilopluma is a clade containing all animals with feathers.

critique: The answer is not accurate. The article does not say how learning about Avifilopluma would be helpful to bird watchers.

critique: The question is asking for a subjective judgment and can't be answered objectively.

critique: "That information can't be found" is incorrect. Bird watchers could learn more about the birds they see by learning about Avifilopluma.


text:
Part of the Council for International Schools (CIS) accreditation process asks schools to “demonstrate a commitment to internationalism/interculturalism in education” and that this should be “reflected throughout the life of the institution.” In this article, I will be presenting the case that schools of a religious tradition are best placed to fulfil this aspect of education given their deeply rooted sense of history, tradition and culture.

In her book “International Mindedness” Lesley Stagg concludes by paraphrasing Dan Young “Internationalism advocates the quality of ‘being’ international within the overall climate and character evident when you enter the school. It includes the one for all organizational principles that reflect a global community concern (known to its community to exist inside and outside its walls), as well as an overall positive attitude between diverse cultures (and countries). It is evidenced where students and faculty celebrate this quality as they come together for learning and teaching… when common global interests and collaboration are recognized as imperative.”

To my mind, in order to successfully meet this goal, it is essential that the school have at least one unifying feature. There must be something tangible that unites all in the midst of diversity. CIS exhorts the guiding statements of a school as this focal point and these guiding statements must be embedded in the curriculum and in the culture of learning. This is not particularly controversial and is something commonly accepted in the domain of international schools. However, I would like to suggest that in reality, many international schools across the world do not have this one unifying feature and that, in fact in many cases, their guiding statements are contrived, jargonistic and essentially meaningless. The exception to this fact being those schools, which have a deep-rooted sense of history, enshrined in tradition and have a culture that is known and embraced by the wider community. I would argue that this is the case in schools underpinned by a religious tradition.

Moreover, in order to create an “overall positive attitude between diverse cultures (and countries)” it is necessary to celebrate what unites families from diverse cultures and countries and in many cases, this is their religious experience. Children from a multitude of countries, different races, speaking different languages and having a range of cultural norms, inevitably populate an International School. Finding something to unite such a diverse community is a challenge CIS recognizes, but within a school embracing a religious tradition, there is no challenge because, despite the obvious diversity, children and their families are united by their religious beliefs. This is more obviously the case when they all hark from the same religious tradition, but I contend that it can also be the case when children of different religions, or denominations within a particular religion, are educated together as their belief in God (or in some cases a Supreme Being) transcends any of their apparent differences. Many dismiss too often religion as a cause of conflict but I would argue the contrary and suggest that in reality religion unites people due to the fact that they have a common sense of purpose and of human dignity. Nothing is more unifying than a common set of beliefs. This permeates deeper than any contrived ideology.

Central to religious identity is a call to community, to social justice, to a respect for human dignity, to peace and reconciliation and to celebrating unity in diversity. These are the features of international mindedness that CIS wants schools to embrace. Whilst many schools barely touch the tip of the iceberg with respect to international mindedness, schools with a religious identity and faith commitment are deeply rooted in their sense of mission, of their ethos, of their values. International Schools of a non-religious nature could learn a lot by looking at schools of a religious nature. They would observe that in the vast majority of cases (some schools with a religious identity are clearly better than others) that the guiding statements of the school are embedded throughout the institution. In the best schools, the mission and ethos of the school are deeply embedded in the curriculum. Such schools do not have a narrow view of curriculum as merely the teaching of a syllabus or academic program but moreover that it is inclusive of all aspects of a child’s learning experience and development as a human person. Subsequently, children will learn explicitly about issues of prejudice and discrimination, different belief systems (other than that of the denomination of the institution), ethical systems, cultural norms, the dignity of the human person, social enterprise and the like. Furthermore, schools with a religious tradition have always valued prayer and meditation as an essential part of human development. Recognizing this the secular world now promotes “mindfulness” as a non-religious alternative to meditation. Separating meditation from faith, where Buddhist, Christian or another, is somewhat morally bankrupt and a very dubious business in itself.

Many international schools have adopted mission statements but sometimes these are a uniformity of bland clichés with no deep sense of an underlying philosophy. Perhaps even more worrying is the trend for schools to adopt the language of “No child left behind” and focus on college and workplace preparedness as the raison d’etre of education rather than focusing on the development of the whole child with the human dignity. It is immoral to see a child as no more than economic fodder for the future workplace. Schools should reject any policy or system that diminishes the dignity of the human person and refutes the idea that anyone can be reduced to the status of an economic unit or passive-dependent.

Recognizing the distinct nature that schools underpinned by a religious tradition have, and by learning from their best practice, International Schools across the world can learn to emulate the “one for all” educational principles that underpin faith schools. The shared “worldview” that unites people of faiths underpins the values and mission of such schools and enables them to be truly international.

question: Summarize all the information relating to the accreditation process for the Council for International Schools.

answer: The accreditation process asks schools to demonstrate a commitment to internationalism/interculturalism in education. The process also asks schools to reflect this throughout the life of the institution.

critique: The answer should mention the one unifying feature.

critique: "The process also asks schools to reflect this throughout the life of the institution." - this is incorrect because the CIS asks schools to reflect internationalism/interculturalism throughout the life of the institution, not reflect it.

critique: The answer should mention the one unifying feature that the author suggests international schools should have.

critique: The second sentence in the answer should be rewritten for clarity.

critique: The answer should mention what the CIS wants.

critique: It's omitted that the process also asks schools to have a unifying feature that unites all in the midst of diversity.

question: Summarize all the information relating to the definition of internationalism in the case of international schools.

answer: Internationalism is the quality of 'being' international within the overall climate and character evident when you enter the school. It includes the one for all organizational principles that reflect a global community concern, as well as an overall positive attitude between diverse cultures. It is evidenced where students and faculty celebrate this quality as they come together for learning and teaching.

critique: The answer omits the part about the school having a unifying feature.

critique: The answer omits the part about the unifying feature.

critique: The answer omits the guiding principles of a school as this focal point, which is essential to internationalism.

critique: The response misses to mention that internationalism is also the recognition of common global interests and collaboration as imperative.

critique: The answer should mention the unifying feature.

critique: The answer should mention the unifying features of internationalism.

question: Summarize all the advantages of an international school with a religious tradition.

answer: The sense of unity is a focused point found in the best schools, and this one-for-all principle is embedded in the tradition of faith schools. The author claims that children who study together can sometimes overcome their differences through shared experiences and by the fact that their respective religions have common values. The schools can also become a place for interfaith reconciliation.

critique: The answer doesn't mention the deep-rooted sense of history, tradition and culture that should be reflected throughout the life of the institution.

critique: The answer omits the other advantages of schools with a religious tradition.

critique: The author does not claim that children can overcome their differences through shared experiences and by the fact that their respective religions have common values.

critique: The answer omits the fact that the schools can also become a place for interfaith reconciliation.

critique: The answer omits the author's claim that the schools can be a place for interfaith reconciliation.

critique: The answer should mention the shared worldview.

critique: "Best schools" should be "best practices" and this is the second claim ("Children of a different religion..." by the author) that doesn't directly relate to "sense of unity."

critique: The answer should mention that the schools are deeply rooted in their sense of mission, ethos, and values.

question: Summarize the unique challenges faced by international schools.

answer: The author suggests that international schools face a unique challenge in creating an overall positive attitude between diverse cultures and countries. They must find something to unite the diverse community. The author suggests that this is more easily accomplished in schools with a religious tradition.

critique: "The author suggests that international schools face a unique challenge in creating an overall positive attitude between diverse cultures and countries. They must find something to unite the diverse community. The author suggests that this is more easily accomplished in schools with a religious tradition." - this is inaccurate. The author is talking about international schools in general and not necessarily the unique challenges faced by international schools.

critique: The author does not suggest that international schools face a unique challenge in creating an overall positive attitude between diverse cultures and countries. They must find something to unite the diverse community. The author suggests that this is more easily accomplished in schools with a religious tradition.

critique: The author does not suggest that this is more easily accomplished in schools with a religious tradition.

critique: The second sentence is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The answer omits the author's other unique challenge.

critique: The author's suggestion is not the only challenge faced by international schools.

critique: It is also adresses that international schools need to focus on preparing a child's development.


text:
I'm well into mid-life, have earned both kinds of bachelor's degrees--arts and science--and have given countless presentations as part of this education, as well as through my workin corporate communications. Yet, public speaking has never been something I enjoy doing, mostly because it feels like my nerves wreck everything.

I just finished a book which may be an antidote to my awkwardness in front of a group. In "Five Stars: The Communication Secrets to Get From Good to Great," bestselling author Carmine Gallo lays out exactly how to tell a compelling story, which he explains is the cornerstone of any good pitch, presentation or interview.

While I tell stories on a page all the time, presenting to an audience in-person is an entirely different animal. The written medium is editable, but you've only got one shot when you're talking to a roomful of faces, or even when you're selling yourself or an idea to someone one-on-one.

You need good stories to rock an interview

Gallo tells many stories throughout his book, including that of former poker champion Haseeb Qureshi, who became a millionaire playing cards, but left the game behind to go to Silicon Valley where he learned to code in a year and set off to get hired by a tech company. While he didn't have the kind of talent or experience of others competing for the jobs he was going after, what he did well was perfect his compelling story--the one which was so good it set of a frenzy of offers from the likes of Yelp, Google, Uber and Stripe. The best offer, and the one he accepted, was from Airbnb and worth $250,000 a year. Qureshi's advice for crafting your story:

  Consider yourself a character in a story and structure the story with a beginning, middle and end. There should be inflection points, characters, and easy-to-understand motivations. Keep it as short as possible, while preserving the color that makes you interesting. When they ask, 'Tell us about a challenging bug you faced and how you solved it?,' tell a story.

Gallo writes that Qureshi practiced the stories he used in interviews over and over, recorded himself doing it and got feedback from others.

A good story doesn't blather on

Gallo discusses the reason TED Talks don't go past 18 minutes--anything longer is a recipe for audience boredom. In fact, some of the best stories are much, much shorter. Many of the ones he cites in the book can be delivered in about a minute. "One of the challenges with storytelling is keeping the audience's attention without putting them to sleep with a long, ponderous story," he writes. "Details are vital, but it takes practice and feedback to keep your stories compelling and brief."

Your story needs tension, struggle and a happy ending

Gallo describes the classic three-act storytelling structure, which involves three parts: the set-up, the confrontation and the resolution. It's a framework commonly used in Hollywood screenwriting, as well as in the startup world wherein founders sell their stories to elicit buy-in from investors, customers and consumers. Take Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky. While Gallo takes a couple of pages to script the story, basically it comes down to:

_THE SETUP_: Two friends in San Francisco need money, rent out a couple of air mattresses on their floor and decide to turn the idea into a business.

_THE CONFLICT_: Chesky has no money for food, loses 20 pounds and vacillates between stress and overconfidence in the idea of people renting out their couches and bedrooms to strangers. Investors walk away from the opportunity to own 20 percent of the now $30 billion company for only $100,000.

_THE RESOLUTION_: Even after missing the deadline for application (more tension), Airbnb gets into the highly selective Silicon Valley accelerator Y Combinator.

This strategy which keeps an audience in suspense and includes tension, struggle and a happy ending, triggers a release of oxytocin in listeners' brains, Gallo writes.

I could highlight several other storytelling principles Gallo includes in the book, but you're probably better off reading through the whole thing yourself. Of the many self-improvement books I've read in the last six months, this one is hands-down the most helpful, at least for someone like me who doesn't see herself as a naturally gifted orator.

question: Summarize what the author of this review thinks are the highlights of "Five Stars: The Communication Secrets to Get from Good to Great".

answer: The author of this review thinks that the book is helpful for someone who doesn't see themselves as a naturally gifted orator. The author highlights the three-act storytelling structure, which is used in Hollywood screenwriting and in the startup world. The author also thinks that the book is helpful for someone who doesn't see themselves as a naturally gifted orator.

critique: The author does not think that the book is helpful for someone who doesn't see themselves as a naturally gifted orator.

critique: This answer is repetitive and cannot be used as an antidote for someone who does not see themselves as a naturally gifted orator.

critique: The author's opinion of the book is repeated twice.

critique: The author does not think the book is helpful for someone who doesn't see themselves as a naturally gifted orator.

critique: The author also highlights the importance of good storytelling.

question: Describe the stages of good storytelling.

answer: According to the author, the three-act structure is the classic storytelling structure which involves three parts: the set-up, the confrontation, and the resolution. The author also highlights that this strategy keeps an audience in suspense and includes tension, struggle, and a happy ending.

critique: The answer should mention the tension, struggle, and resolution.

critique: The answer should mention the author's advice on how to craft a good story.

critique: The answer should mention the three-act structure.

critique: The answer should mention the use of the classic three-act structure.

question: Explain the author's (of this article) intention in writing this review.

answer: The author is recommending a book to help with public speaking.

critique: The author is recommending the book to the reader.

critique: The author is recommending the book to help with public speaking, but the intention is to help the reader overcome their fear of public speaking.

critique: The author is recommending the book to help with public speaking in general, not just for people who don't enjoy public speaking.

critique: The answer is vague. It's not clear if the author is recommending the book to the readers or just reviewing it.

question: Summarize how this text relates to public speaking.

answer: The author discusses the book "Five Stars: The Communication Secrets to Get From Good to Great" and how it relates to public speaking. The book is about the author's personal experience with public speaking, and how public speaking is an entirely different experience than the author's work in corporate communications.

critique: The author does not discuss their personal experience with public speaking.

critique: The author does not discuss the book in the article.

text: The answer should more clearly differentiate between the author of the book and the author of the article.

category: coherence