text:
There's a little neglected drag of cobble half a mile up from the banks of Possible's stream, where the eddies gurgle rapturous and wide making glee faces at men that dangle their little heads over the edge of possible's bridge.  The little cobble streets that bob and teeter like a broad with a gut full of beer have become otiose, wringing not person, other than the cheese maker of hungry french memories.

Horny lads, feet clicking, cluck, cluck, as they sauntered sheepishly in the evening, searching for a lass to loosen their wallets for.  The new age saunterers in their barely worn pea-coats, pry grimaces from the cheese maker.  The sound of flats and flimsy conversation bouncing off the old street and into the cheese maker's ears.  He hated them.

The cheese maker had lived alone since his wife had died 8 years ago.  I would see him now and then as he stopped in the diner I worked at and had a cup of coffee.  Nobody really knew his name.  Nobody really cared enough to inquire.  His presence seemed to go unnoticed as he strolled through town.  Maybe he likes it that way.

I called him the cheese maker because that had been his profession.  He owned a small farm outside of town that he had purchased after returning home from WWII.  His sons ran the farm now and they routinely delivered the cheese and milk we used in the diner.  They had booted their father out into a nursing home.  I learned all of this because they would engage in small talk with my manager who was an old childhood friend of theirs.

I can't tell you exactly why I had become so infatuated with his life story.  I would get off work and walk past his nursing home.  Sometimes I would see him out and about, smoking a cigar outside a grocery store, or rummaging through a thrift store.  I never had the audacity to approach him.

It's been a few weeks since I last seen him, sipping on his coffee.  I wondered where he had been.  What he had been doing since he left the diner.  I finished my shift without one sight of him.  As I was walking home, I heard a yelling sound coming from the yard of the nursing home.  I moved in closer to get a look.

It was the cheese maker and another elderly man yelling back and forth at each over the white picket fence built around the nursing home.  "You filthy fucking rat!" stammered the cheese maker.  "Don't call me a rat, you goddamn wrinkled shit."  I hid behind a tree and listened as best I could.  "She loved me, Chester.  She was married to me.  She had my children." said the cheese maker.  "You only stole her from me!  She was going to marry me, if I hadn't thrown my ring into that goddamn stream!" yelled chester in fury.

"I go to her grave every morning.  And you, the guy she married won't even bother to visit her!" "FUCK YOU, CHESTER, FUCK YOU, you sniveling little fuck."  The cheese maker picked up a rock from the ground and hurled it at chester.  The rock missed chester and landed in the street behind him.  By this time, the care taker's had come out and were ushering the cheese maker, who was mumbling curses, back to the house.

Chester inched his way down the sidewalk past me.  He had a cane in his left hand and leaned half his body on it as he walked.  He didn't see me and I passed him and went home.  I was so fascinated.  The two men, in this perpetual state of conflict all over a woman that had passed away years ago.

A few weeks had passed since their last quarrel.  I couldn't pacify my intrigue.  The sullen moments at work and the blandness of the regular social interactions between people left me craving their passion, their hatred.  I began cutting by the nursing home more and more often.  Checking to see if they would be there yet again, like a rerun of an old show.

Then one day he appeared.  The cheese maker himself.  He waddled into the diner and sat in his regular spot and ordered a black coffee with two sugars.  I brought it out to him.  He didn't look at me.  He stared straight out the window, almost as though he was expecting someone to walk in.  He finished his coffee and left.

Chester had died that day.  I read it in the obituary later that night.  He had a bad heart they said.  I thought this was ironic.  I went to the burial.  I stood in the back away from everyone else.  I took a cigarette out and puffed on it.  I looked over to my left and noticed the cheese maker walk up beside me.  "You got another one of those?" he asked motioning towards my pocket.  "Yeah, sure."  I handed him a cigarette and we both stood there silently.

title: The cheese maker's wife.

question: What is the nature of the relationship between the cheese maker and Chester?

answer: Chester and the cheese maker seem to be in conflict over this woman who is deceased. Chester has married the woman while the cheese maker seems to be relating to her grave. It's ironic that the cheese maker seems bitter.

critique: The cheese maker's relationship with Chester is not relevant to the question.

critique: The response misses to mention that the cheese maker and Chester were married to the same woman.

critique: 'Chester and the cheese maker seem to be in conflict over this woman who is deceased.' - Chester is the cheese maker's wife's former love who stole her.<br />' it's ironic that the cheese maker seems bitter.' - irrelevant information.

critique: The cheese maker's bitterness is not ironic. He's bitter because he believes that Chester stole his wife from him.

critique: Chester and the cheese maker don't seem to be in conflict over the woman who is deceased.

critique: It is not clear the nature of the relationship between the two elderly men.

critique: The answer should mention the cheese maker's wife.

critique: "It's ironic that the cheese maker seems bitter" is a bit of an overstatement.

critique: "It's ironic that the cheese maker seems bitter." - this is inaccurate. The cheese maker is not bitter. He is angry.

critique: The cheese maker is bitter because he feels that Chester stole his wife.

critique: It's not stated that the cheese maker is bitter.

critique: It's omitted that the cheese maker seems to be in love with the woman.

critique: The evidence for why the cheese maker is bitter is unclear.

text: The answer inaccurately mentions that Chester was married to the woman. It was the cheese maker who was married to the woman, while Chester had always visited her grave.

refinement: Chester and the cheese maker seem to be in conflict over this woman who is deceased. Chester has married the woman while the cheese maker seems to be relating to her grave. It's ironic that the cheese maker seems bitter.


split: train

text:
The DOMINICA GRAMMAR SCHOOL (DGS) is a public co-education secondary school in Roseau, Dominica, established in 1893, one of the oldest educational institutions on the island.[1] Contrary to its name, the school no longer functions as a traditional grammar school, as it has expanded its curriculum beyond its historical scope.

History

The birthplace of the Dominica Grammar School was in “Lagon”, Roseau. It was in the building known as No. 66 Queen Mary Street, now occupied by Mr Ashton Piper, Barrister-at-Law and Solicitor. Up to 1877, the plot of land measuring just over , at the corner of what was then Marlborough Street and Grandby Street, was vacant. It was purchased at public auction by a merchant named Henry Hamilton on behalf of his friend Alexander Robinson. The latter started to build on the plot of land in 1878.

The story goes that Prince Albert Victor, Duke of Clarence, and his younger brother, Prince George, who later became King George V, visited Dominica in 1879 as naval cadets on HMS _Bacchante_ and were entertained at the Robinson house which was afterwards named “Clarence Hall”, in honor of its royal visitor. The name, however, appears to have fallen into disuse with the passage of time. Robinson probably occupied the building as a dwelling, but when the Government decided to open the Dominica Grammar School, the spacious stone building on Grandby Street was rented for that purpose and opened as a school on January 16, 1893. The property has been in the possession of the Piper family since 1924, when it was purchased by public auction by Augustus Piper. The building is said to have been extensively damaged by fire before it was acquired by Piper.

As of January 2014, the Principal of DGS is Alicia Jean Jacques.[2]

Curriculum

The school offers a range of academic and technical subjects aimed at catering to the increasing demands of its in excess of 1,000 student population. These include but are not limited to agricultural science, auto mechanics, home economics and management in addition to its traditional natural and social science offerings

Distinguished alumni

-   Pierre Charles - 6th Prime Minister of Dominica, attended 1967-70 before transferring to the Saint Mary's Academy.
-   Roosevelt Douglas - 5th Prime Minister of Dominica
-   Edison James - 4th Prime Minister of Dominica
-   Edward Scobie - historian and journalist
-   Liam Sebastien - Windward Islands cricketer.
-   Clarence Seignoret - former President of Dominica
-   Vernon Shaw - former President of Dominica
-   Grayson Shillingford - West Indies test cricketer
-   Roosevelt Skerrit - 7th Prime Minister of Dominica
-   Crispin Sorhaindo - former President of Dominica

Dominica Grammar School symbols

MOTTO: _Mens Sana in Corpore Sano_ (Latin for “A sound mind in a healthy body”)

PLEDGE: I pledge allegiance to the Dominica Grammar School, I promise to co-operate in promoting a healthy learning environment, I will strive for success and uphold the standards of the school, And under God persevere with a sound mind in a healthy body.

SONG: The greatest The greatest, the greatest of all builders Wrought with his mighty hand All that we see around us In sky, and sea, and land And land.

The mansion he made was perfect Nor could it be otherwise Built from his deep foundation Made visible by patience A school for human eyes.

Look then upon this building And emulate his deed And to his greater glory Evolve from it our creed.

The mansion he made was perfect Nor could it be otherwise Built from his deep foundation Made visible by patience A school for human eyes.

When childhood days are over Fare forth to wider lore Building on with the old school spirit Craftmen forever more.

The mansion he made was perfect Nor could it be otherwise Built from his deep foundation Made visible by patience A school for human eyes.

The student council

The school currently has a system in which a student council, which includes prefects and form representatives, is led by the headboy and headgirl of the school.

[1] “Dominica Grammar School prepares to celebrate 120 years” , Dominica Vibes, October 24, 2012.

[2] “Dominica Grammar School celebrates 121” , Dominica Vibes, January 16, 2014.

title: Dominica Grammar School

question: What is the Dominica Grammar School's role in mandating the official rules of the English language?

answer: Early English educators functioned as replacements for schools and grammar schools in enforcing strict rules about articulation and written form. This would ease into what became the modern public school model, where students were expected not just to know the rules of grammar, but to know how to apply it using other information.

critique: The answer does not directly address the question.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The Dominica Grammar School is not a replacement for schools or grammar schools.

critique: The Dominica Grammar School is not mentioned in the article.

critique: The Dominica Grammar School is not a replacement for schools and grammar schools.

question: Summarize the history of the Dominica Grammar School's current building.

answer: The Dominica Grammar School's current building was first built in 1878 by Alexander Robinson or Henry Hamilton. The Prince Albert Victor and Prince George visited the building when they were naval cadets in 1879. Robinson probably occupied the building as a dwelling, but when the government decided to open the Dominica Grammar School, the building was rented for that purpose and opened as a school on January 16, 1893. The building was extensively damaged by fire before it was acquired by Augustus Piper in 1924.

critique: The answer should mention the current ownership of the building.

critique: The answer should clarify that Robinson was the one who started to build the school.

critique: The answer omits the fact that the building was purchased by Piper in 1924.

critique: The answer is missing a few key details about the building's history.

critique: The answer omits the fact that the building was purchased by Augustus Piper in 1924.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.


text:
Before you read, I would just like to let it be known that this is a little short story I made for a homework assignment in my English class. Basically, the background of the story is my teacher played us a song in class, and we had to write down how it made us feel, etc. and we had to take the song and kind of make a story for said song to be used as a background. The mood and tone I got from listening to the song is shown in the story. I really enjoyed writing this and hope you enjoy reading this even more!

     It was quite the night on the 23rd of December in the year of 2006. The Christmas lights glimmered in the blankets of white December night snow. You could feel the tension in the air from kids in dire need of Christmas to be here already. Happiness was a smoke that filled the air and contaminated everyone. Laughing from the mouths of children could be heard all around the block, as Christmas trees began to be erected and decorated in the cozy, warm, homes of people. The Christmas lights of one particular small, white, house of a soon to be family of three were flickered on, as Jon had just arrived home from an amazing day at work. He shut the red door behind him and looked at the beautiful scenery outside. The smoke of happiness contaminated the tall, lean figure with short brown hair and green eyes, as he stroked his icy brown-haired beard, smiling at the thought of December 25th, because not only was it Christmas, a time of family and friends, but also the birth of his first son, with his wife of two years, Jane.
    "Jane? I'm home! Where are you?" Called Jon, in search of his wife. Oh where could she be, he thought. Wait, could it be...? Swiftly Jon moved through the house, in search of his wife. "Jane?" He called again, as he went into the kitchen. The answering machine was flashing red - someone had called and left a message. Jon realized. He realized it. His wife was in the hospital, in labor, with his soon to be baby son, and he wasn't even there. She had to be. Jon took a few deep breaths, as nervousness began to flow throughout his body. His finger had come into contact with the inbox button. The sound of his wife's voice was heard through the answering machine.
     "J-Jon, i-it's your wife, J-Jane. I'm at the hospital right now, I went into labor this afternoon. O-our f-family of three won't be here t-tonight. Please come h-here with me w-when you are h-home from w-work. I l-love you-u." Sobs and sobs were repeatedly heard through the answering machine, as the message ended, a beep buzzed through the answering machine, and the message had ended.
     The mind of Jon had become a numb mind. Numb to the message on the answering machine from his wife. Numb to his thoughts to himself. Numb to the laughs of children all around the block as Christmas trees had been erected and decorated, and the Star of the tree was being put up. Numb to the world. Jon walked around trying to figure out what just happened. His finger had come into contact with  the inbox button. The message replayed. Words spoken from his wife filled his mind once again, as his cheeks began to flush, and tears started to create a rainforest in his beard. Jon walked around his house, thinking about life, his wife, and the future. The family of three. The family of three. The family of three was not meant to be. Jon slumped out of the kitchen, head down, tears running down his face. Sob. Jon walked out to the living room, where stood their Christmas tree, and Christmas presents. Some of which were supposed to be for the additional third in that family of three. Jon stared at the presents. A good, long stare. A stare of despair. Jon picked up one of the Christmas presents meant for that additional third, as he wiped tears from his eyes and beard. It read: To Jimmy. From Santa. In it, the box contained a pair of baby shoes. Baby shoes that were never to be worn.

title: Christmas Time

question: Describe how the season plays into the story line.

answer: Almost everything happens in the month of December. The song mentions Christmas specifically. The narrator mentions Christmas trees and lights and Santa. The focus is both the strengthening of families and the birth of the narrator's son.

critique: The song does not mention Christmas specifically.

critique: The narrator's son is born on Christmas.

critique: The answer should be written in the proper form.

critique: Christmas is mentioned in the song the narrator writes about. It is not mentioned in the story.

critique: The answer should mention the family's Christmas tree.

text: Jon is the protagonist, not the narrator.

category: accuracy

question: What are some reasons Jon might be reacting so quickly to the message Jane has left?

answer: He might be reacting on gut instinct after being away from his wife for most of her pregnancy due to his job.

critique: He's not away for most of her pregnancy, he's away for all of it.

critique: It's not clear that he was away from her for most of her pregnancy.

critique: There is no evidence that Jon has not been around for most of Jane's pregnancy.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: He is so quickly saddened by the message because he is worried it means that he and Jane won't have a family of three.

question: What message does the text seem to want a reader to take away from this?

answer: The text seems to want a reader to take away feelings of sadness, care and pity when read.

critique: The text does not seem to want the reader to feel sad, care, or pity.

critique: This text appears to encourage the reader to consider the tragedy of Jon's situation. It seems to want a reader to understand that a future of a family of three will never come to be.

critique: The text does not seem to want the reader to feel sad.

critique: The text doesn't seem to want the reader to feel sad, but to feel the emotions of Jon.

critique: The text does not necessarily want a reader to feel sadness, care, or pity. It's more that it wants the reader to feel the emotions that the narrator feels.

critique: The text is a short story, not a poem. The answer should reflect that.

question: Why does Jon so quickly assume that Jane's being at the hospital is bad news?

answer: He may be assuming that she is in labor, but it is more likely that he is assuming that she is in the hospital because something is wrong.

critique: He is not assuming that she is in labor, he knows she is.

critique: "He may be assuming that she is in labor, but it is more likely that he is assuming that she is in the hospital because something is wrong." - this is incorrect and can be deleted.

critique: "He may be assuming that she is in labor, but it is more likely that he is assuming that she is in the hospital because something is wrong." - this is redundant and should be deleted.

critique: "He may be assuming that she is in labor, but it is more likely that he is assuming that she is in the hospital because something is wrong." - this is redundant and can be deleted.

critique: It is omitted that he is assuming that something is wrong because he is not there.

text: It is not clear that he is assuming that she is in the hospital because something is wrong.


text:
Would you go to a friend's dinner party, nibble every course, drink a glass or two of wine, and then leave—without ever speaking to the host? I hope not. And I hope you wouldn't treat open houses the same way. And yet home buyers often do, refusing to sign in or deflecting agents' questions about the house they're touring.

Sometimes they do it because they're leery of being given a hard sell or handing over their personal information; others decline because they're uncomfortable being put on the spot about a potentially huge decision. Whatever the reason, this puts brokers in a tough place: Open houses might be fun for home shoppers, but to agents, they're work. Your feedback is the market research they need to do their jobs right.

So, perhaps all that home buyers need is a little preparation. If they know the questions brokers are going to ask, they can be ready with answers, and everyone can go home (perhaps to this very home?) happy. Here's your cheat sheet:

1. THE QUESTION: _HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: The agent is trying to gauge how serious you are. If you've been looking for only a short time, say a few weeks, the agent will understand that you're just getting your feet wet—that you're still gathering your thoughts. If you've been looking for months, then the agent might dig in. That tells her you've seen a lot, but you haven't found what you're looking for. She's wondering why you haven't pulled the trigger and, hey, maybe this is the house you've been waiting for.
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: Be honest and specific. This is harmless information.

2. THE QUESTION: _ARE YOU WORKING WITH AN AGENT EXCLUSIVELY?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: Agents are trained to respect boundaries. If you are represented by an agent, the open house agent cannot try to represent you. This question sets the tone of the conversation. Don't be surprised if the agent asks who your agent is. Most agents who do business in a certain area know other active agents. This way the open house agent can call your agent—not you—for your feedback. You are insulated by your buyer-broker agreement.
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: If you're working with an agent, say so! Even better, give the open house agent your agent's name and brokerage company. This protects you from having to give your personal information to the open house agent. Rather than sign in with your name, number, and email, you can sign in with your name and your agent's contact information. That's all the open house agent needs to follow up.

3. THE QUESTION: _HOW DOES THIS HOUSE COMPARE TO OTHERS YOU'VE SEEN?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: Now that the agent knows how long you've been looking, she wants to get a sense of whether this house is a contender. She is also assuming that you're touring other houses nearby (other "comps," as they say). She wants your honest insight on whether her listing is better or worse than the others.
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: Be honest. If the house around the corner has a remodeled master bath and this one doesn't, point that out. If you think this house could use some work, let her know. Remember, being honest about the house won't hurt the agent's feelings. She's independent. Of course she cares about her listing, but, unlike an owner, she isn't emotionally attached. This is one reason for sale by owner is difficult.

4. THE QUESTION: _ARE YOU SPECIFICALLY LOOKING AT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: The agent isn't being nosy here, she wants to know how focused you are. She wants to rule out the looky-loos and focus on the serious buyers. If you are looking in that particular neighborhood but not interested in making an offer on her listing, you've caught her attention. She needs to understand what other listings have that hers doesn't. Now she's focused on knowing your trigger: Are you focused on certain streets within the neighborhood? A certain style of house? Or is it all about price?
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: Be specific. If you're focused on that neighborhood, it's OK to say so. If you're open and still getting your bearings straight, it's OK to say so. These answers provide depth for the agent when she's talking to the seller (e.g., "The open house was great! I had a buyer walk through who has been looking for a while and she is only looking in this neighborhood."). This tells the seller there are buyers out there—and that adjustments may have to be made if those buyers aren't buying this home.

5. THE QUESTION: _WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PRICE?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: This is probably the most important question, but it may not be the first one out of the agent's mouth, because she wants to establish rapport first. The agent knows that people are usually guarded when it comes to price. She wants you to give a thoughtful answer, not a flippant one.
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: Now, this is tricky. If you're not really in the market to buy, or can't compare it to other houses on the market, don't just throw out a number. Simply tell the agent you haven't seen enough to give an educated answer. If you feel you _can_ answer, say something like "I think it's priced competitively" or "It's priced too high." The point is not to give a dollar figure but to offer a general perception. If you believe it's a good deal, say that. If you think it's overpriced, say that. Because if the house _is_ overpriced, maybe the agent will call you once it's reduced.

6. THE QUESTION:_ ARE YOU CONSIDERING MAKING AN OFFER ON THIS HOME?_
WHY THEY'RE ASKING: Please don't take offense! The agent has a job to do, and this is a valid question.
HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER: As a prospective buyer, remember: You hold the power. If you're planning to make an offer, it's good news to the agent and lets her know to expect something in writing. It also might help you if the house is in demand so the agent will know there are multiple offers coming in. That way, she may not start negotiating without first getting your offer in hand. To some extent, this buys you time to call your agent and get your offer submitted. If you're not planning to make an offer, it's fine to say that, too.

Finally, please sign in. You don't have to go overboard—you don't even have to give your last name. (Unless you want the agent to check your credentials on LinkedIn.) No one is expecting to see the list, not the broker's boss, not the seller. Signing in is, in some ways, absolutely unimportant. But it is also common courtesy, the least—the _very least_—that you can do to preserve the social fabric of our society.

———

_CHRYSTAL CARUTHERS is a Chicago native, former Realtor, TV news producer, and newspaper reporter. Chrystal, who covers real estate industry news at realtor.com, enjoys cooking, hiking, Bikram yoga, and cookies._

question: Summarize the advice the writer gives on how to talk to agents.

answer: The writer advises buyers to be honest and specific, to be specific when asked about the neighborhood they are looking in, to be honest about the house, to tell the agent if they aren't planning on making an offer but to sign in. They also advise they not to give a dollar figure but to offer a general perception as to how they feel about the price of the house.

critique: The answer omits the questions the writer advises to answer.

critique: The answer omits the advice about the question about working with an agent.

critique: The answer omits the question about working with an agent.

critique: The writer also advises buyers to be honest about their intentions.

critique: It's omitted that buyers should be honest about the price.

critique: The article doesn't advise buyers to be honest about the house.

critique: The answer should mention that the writer advises buyers to be honest about their intentions.

question: How does the writer view the process of home-buying?

answer: The writer views the process as a social interaction.

critique: There is no evidence that the author views the process as a social interaction.

critique: It is omitted that the writer says the process is also work.

critique: It is omitted that they view it as a negotiation.

critique: The writer says that the process is social, but they don't view it as such.


text:
[Meagan Heber]

We love the idea of redemption. We love the old military man blistered by time, a history of violence, visions of atrocity, and his return to the land of the living. We love a tale of broken relationships skewered by heartache, by hard realities, by a slow fade away from one another rebuilt and renewed. We love forgiveness until we are being asked for it or we are asking for it.

Anti-heroes can come back, but villains are lost causes. There is nothing for the slimy refuse of the world, nothing for the hopeless case.

It seems to me that hope has become a fluffy concept. Associated with superheroes, the forces of good, with the return of a lost pet or the day breaking open or the light tearing at the darkness, we toss the word around like loose change in a shallow tin cup.

Especially at Christmas, we dangle lights and show off trees, encouraging merry-making at the completion of a long year. This “making spirits bright”, like our fluffy language, provides something to cling to.

Light in the darkness is not a bad metaphor in any way. Really, it is the most important and enticing symbolism of all time. Why else would we take a few words — “the true light was coming into the world” — and wrap a world-wide time of celebration, family, quiet and noise and joy around it?

I remember as a child being horribly plagued by nightmares. Even walking though Blockbuster to find a movie to rent would send me into a panic — DVD covers of ax murderers and demonic dolls could keep me wide awake under the covers for weeks straight.

But as my parents would tuck me in, kiss my forehead and close the door, I remember that thick band of gold underneath the door where the hallway light seeped into the darkness. No matter how terrifying the prospect of being alone with my scary imagination or the evil man under the bed, the crack of light was something. Beyond a comfort, a symbol, a warm feeling…it was truth. It was a truth that beyond the dark door was a length of carpet and a staircase and below the stairs was a man who could scare away any creature and a woman who could keep me safe. Those things were more real to me than anything.

[Image for post]

I was still afraid. I sweat under my covers with only my nose and my vision to the door exposed. I still doubted my own abilities to face what made me so afraid. But I kept my eyes on that sliver and prayed I would fall asleep.

At this launch of my twenty-fourth year of life, there is never a stray thought given to nightmares. Then, falling asleep afraid was the biggest thing. Today, I fear worse things.

At the very heart of the word, hope is not exactly popular. It’s not something we always want when we strip away the soft and comfortable and cheery exterior we have been taught to believe about the concept.

Hope isn’t fair. It’s doesn’t choose who is most worthy, or which situation is best, or when is the most opportune time to show up. It also doesn’t come in brightly packaged ribbons and bows.

Redemption. The bringing back of things that are lost. The resurgence of things that sometimes do not deserve a second chance or might be painful in the upswing.

Consider:

Christmas, the time we pause in memory of the birth of a child, was a stark and cruel reality. An unwed teenager ended up pregnant, at risk for being stoned to death for violating the moral principles intrinsic to her upbringing. It was unheard of, shameful, and gross. She lived in a quiet existence that by today’s standards would be considered abject poverty. Her country was over-run and enslaved by the most powerful and ruthless empire the world had ever known, bringing with it public executions, torture, hunger, political unrest, disease, and crime.

I’m sure this teenage girl had many a passing thought that her life was cursed, that the God she had been taught to believe in had abandoned her, and that there was nothing left for her but a life of sorrow.

Her life was one of sorrow — no matter the treasure of the child she carried, her reality did not change. She still lived in poverty, still struggled through existence. I’m sure she still had disagreements with those she loved, saw death and decay and pain. She also lost her first born child to the most excruciating death, witnessing his torture.

No halos. No “blessed” mother Mary. But…a glimmer.

A few days ago, I shot a few words back and forth over text to my best friend two states away. Even without seeing her face, or hearing her voice, I could sense the strain of circumstances and passing time.

I wanted to be encouraging to her, to tell her everything was going to be ok despite the scary future, despite money and sickness and the balancing of family and dreams. But this time, I was hardly successful. Words were not enough.

This year for many has been nothing but discord. It’s hard to imagine contemplating resilience when the most glaring things are nightmares — mental illness and cancer, bankruptcy and addiction, divorce and discouragement.

Where is the crack of light there? Is it really so far off that we cannot see it through the stifling layers of the folds of life?

Sarah doesn’t need my optimism. Neither does any of of my friends that are struggling, or the men and women all around me who are desperately pulling through each day. What they do need is my _hope_.

It’s the grittiest word I know. It claims to give me answers when I cannot fathom they could appear: that growth is messy. Joyful celebration stems from seasons of darkness. I can look forward to what comes next and still be absolutely terrified I will not know how to get there. Second chances don’t always come to those who deserve another shot, because hope comes to everyone evenly.

Saviors show up in really unexpected places.

No halo. No glorious entry.

Just a quiet stirring of a little something that would in turn change everything.

question: Who is the teenage girl who thought her life was cursed?

answer: Mary, the mother of Jesus.

critique: It is not stated that she is the mother of Jesus, but that she was the mother of a child.

critique: It is not stated that the teenage girl is Mary, the mother of Jesus.

critique: The answer is wrong and has to be rewritten.

critique: It is not stated that the girl is Mary, the mother of Jesus.

text: The answer should point out that the girl being Mary is implied through Jesus' birth on Christmas.

category: other

refinement: Mary, the mother of Jesus.

category_text: Lacking disclaimer

question: How did light in the darkness encourage the author as a child?

answer: As a child, the author hated pets until the disappeared and entered a dark place. They had several possessions disappear and the family itself tore apart, which could seem scary for a youngster. That did not matter because in the author’s eyes, any disappearances were temporary. The angle of light from underneath the doorway was an assurance that there would be an end to the dark and a rebirth of the light.

critique: "The angle of light from underneath the doorway was an assurance that there would be an end to the dark and a rebirth of the light." - this doesn't make sense. The author was a kid and the angle of light wasn't coming from the doorway. It is saying that, figuratively, the light seeping in the crack of the door represented hope.

critique: The author did not have several possessions disappear, they had one possession disappear.

critique: The response is not related to the question.

critique: The story is not about how light in the darkness encouraged the author as a child.

critique: The answer should mention the good feelings the light gave the author.

critique: This statement is incorrect- there is no mention of disappearing pets or the family tearing apart in the text.

critique: The answer is false and does not relate to the question.

critique: The answer is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The answer is not relevant to the question.

critique: This does not answer the question. It is a story about the author's childhood.

critique: The model claims that their family tore apart because the light behind the door was the only thing that gave them hope. However, the model says the opposite, or something else.


text:
The sunset cast a pink glow over the horizon. The last few rays stretched across the ocean, casting small shadows on the grains of sand like tendrils creeping from the water. The tendrils kept stretching and stretching as the light slowly faded from view. A man sat on the beach, these tendrils slowly sneaking towards him. His foot shifted, breaking the illusion as he leaned back. The sand softly clinked against the bottle of wine to his right and scraped against the pistol to his left.

The mans name was unimportant. He was easily forgettable. He could blend into a crowd, disappear into the night. He was the guy in the apartment building, in 8B, who you pass every day. Who stares longingly at you as you walk buy but as far as you'd be concerned he's just a part of the tacky wallpaper. But he's always there whether you realize it or not.

This feature of his was excellent in this case. Sitting on a beach in Florida, he was unnoticed by the countless runners and late tourists watching a sunset on a clear summer evening. As the last few stragglers went back to their homes and hotels, the man sat up straight. He grasped the bottle of wine, letting a few mouthfuls of the drink slide down his throat before wiping the bottle down and tossing it into the bushes.

He stood up, the sand filling the void between his toes, as he slowly walked to the pier. Sitting out of view behind a support beam he waited. There was now no light in the sky. The faint glow of the city behind him made the waves visible but if anything was out there it was lost in the inky blackness. But a faint dot could be made on the horizon, a tiny light that could be easily mistaken as a star low on the horizon but the man knew better. He had dealt with this light before.

As the light slid across water, he followed. Walking down the beach and wading through water, all the while making sure the pistol was kept dry. He followed it for what felt like hours, his heartbeat pounding in his ears and his mind filled with anticipation. Eventually it came towards land, near a marina. Hiding behind a pillar once again, the man made sure the gun was loaded and the safety off. The boat grew near, the lights now completely on instead of hiding in the background.

Another man, a Cuban, jumped off the boat, mooring her to the pier and made sure the locks were all locked tight. As he turned to leave he was faced by a man with a cocked pistol pointed squarely at his head. The Cuban could almost see the hollowpoint 9mm round lurking in the barrel. He closed his eyes. A loud pop was heard, birds scattered, and you could hear a thud as his body slumped to the wooden deck. The man quietly slipped away into the night, the black enveloping him.

The police arrived a few hours later, shooing the critters away trying to feast on the Cuban. They checked his pockets, retrieving the keys to his boat and climbed aboard. They found a hollow compartment and using the keys, popped the lock. Inside it was filled with water, they were about to close it when a hand slowly rose to the surface.

After digging through the Cubans information they realized he went by a name that was respected out of fear in the Cuban community. The Coyote. A man who profited off the love of others by smuggling people out of Cuba and into the United States. They identified the remains, 12 in all, in the compartment and looked up their relatives. A stack of files with photos attached sat on a detectives desk as he worked through them. Considering their motive and wondering if they were the man that killed the Coyote.

However in that stack of files was a man. A man who had lost his family to the Coyote. A man who had killed the Coyote. A man who blended into the background, slipping out of reality and disappearing once again into the dark. And as the file was eventually placed into the cold cases, waiting for a solution that would never come, the Man sat smiling on a chair in his small apartment. A man who raised his gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

title: A Man

question: Summarize the conflict in the story.

answer: The conflict in the story is the man's internal conflict. He is a man who is easily forgettable and can blend in with the background. He has a lot of anger and hatred towards the Coyote, a man who smuggles people out of Cuba. The Coyote is responsible for the death of his family. The man is in a constant internal conflict, he wants to kill the Coyote but he does not want to get caught. He is a man who is easily forgettable and can blend in with the background.

critique: The conflict in the story is the man's internal conflict. He is a man who is easily forgettable and can blend in with the background. He has a lot of anger and hatred towards the Coyote, a man who smuggles people out of Cuba. The Coyote is responsible for the death of his family. The man is in a constant internal conflict, he wants to kill the Coyote but he does not want to get caught. He is a man who is easily forgettable and can blend in with the background.

critique: The man's conflict is external, not internal.

critique: The answer is tautological and repetitive.

critique: This is more of a summary of the story, not a proper answer to the question.

critique: The man's internal conflict is not the main conflict in the story. The main conflict is the man's external conflict: he wants to kill the Coyote but has to be stealthy about it.

critique: The man's internal conflict is not the conflict in the story.

critique: The man's internal conflict is not the conflict of the story.

question: Summarize the plot twist in the story.

answer: The man on the beach decides to pursue the coyote on his boat. He kills the coyote. The next day the police find him dead - the man committed suicide. This guy was the one who murdered the 12 victims in the course of his revenge.

critique: The man on the beach is not the one who murders the 12 victims.

critique: It is incorrectly stated that the man commits suicide, however he shoots himself against his temple.

critique: The answer is not clear about the man's identity.

critique: The man on the beach is not the one who murdered the 12 victims.

critique: The man on the beach is not the one who kills the 12 victims.

question: Explain how the man knew where the Cuban human smuggler would be.

answer: He had been there before.

critique: The man had not been there before. He tracked the boat.

critique: He was on the beach at the expected time/location, which he discovered watching the Coyote on a previous run. This makes knowing where the Coyote would show up easier.

text: The story notes that the man lost his family to the smuggler. Therefore, he should know the places used by the smuggler. The answer should be more explicit about that.

category: coverage

question: What does the story have to say about doing the right thing?

answer: No answer

critique: The story does not have anything to say about doing the right thing.


text:
MACHINE-LEARNING is beginning to shake up finance. A subset of artificial intelligence (AI) that excels at finding patterns and making predictions, it used to be the preserve of technology firms. The financial industry has jumped on the bandwagon. To cite just a few examples, “heads of machine-learning” can be found at PwC, a consultancy and auditing firm, at JP Morgan Chase, a large bank, and at Man GLG, a hedge-fund manager. From 2019, anyone seeking to become a “chartered financial analyst”, a sought-after distinction in the industry, will need AI expertise to pass his exams.

Despite the scepticism of many, including, surprisingly, some “quant” hedge funds that specialise in algorithm-based trading, machine-learning is poised to have a big impact. Innovative fintech firms and a few nimble incumbents have started applying the technique to everything from fraud protection to finding new trading strategies—promising to up-end not just the humdrum drudgery of the back-office, but the more glamorous stuff up-front.

Machine-learning is already much used for tasks such as compliance, risk management and fraud prevention. Intelligent Voice, a British firm, sells its machine-learning-driven speech-transcription tool to large banks to monitor traders’ phone calls for signs of wrongdoing, such as insider trading. Other specialists, like Xcelerit or Kinetica, offer banks and investment firms near-real-time tracking of their risk exposures, allowing them to monitor their capital requirements at all times.

Machine-learning excels in spotting unusual patterns of transactions, which can indicate fraud. Firms ranging from startups such as Feedzai (for payments) or Shift Technology (for insurance) to behemoths such as IBM are offering such services. Some are developing the skills in-house. Monzo, a British banking startup, built a model quick enough to stop would-be fraudsters from completing a transaction, bringing the fraud rate on its pre-paid cards down from 0.85% in June 2016 to less than 0.1% by January 2017.

Natural-language processing, where AI-based systems are unleashed on text, is starting to have a big impact in document-heavy parts of finance. In June 2016 JPMorgan Chase deployed software that can sift through 12,000 commercial-loan contracts in seconds, compared with the 360,000 hours it used to take lawyers and loan officers to review the contracts.

Machine-learning is also good at automating financial decisions, whether assessing creditworthiness or eligibility for an insurance policy. Zest Finance has been in the business of automated credit-scoring since its founding in 2009. Earlier this year it rolled out a machine-learning underwriting tool to help lenders make credit decisions, even for people with little conventional credit-scoring information. It sifts through vast amounts of data, such as people’s payment history or how they interact with a lender’s website. Lemonade, a tech-savvy insurance startup, is using machine-learning both to sell insurance policies and to manage claims.

Perhaps the newest frontier for machine-learning is in trading, where it is used both to crunch market data and to select and trade portfolios of securities. The quantitative-investment strategies division at Goldman Sachs uses language processing driven by machine-learning to go through thousands of analysts’ reports on companies. It compiles an aggregate “sentiment score” based on the balance of positive to negative words. This score is then used to help pick stocks. Goldman has also invested in Kensho, a startup that uses machine-learning to predict how events like natural disasters will affect market prices, based on data on similar events.

Quantifiable progress

Quant hedge funds, both new and old, are piling in. Castle Ridge Asset Management, a Toronto-based upstart, has achieved annual average returns of 32% since its founding in 2013. It uses a sophisticated machine-learning system, like those used to model evolutionary biology, to make investment decisions. It is so sensitive, claims the firm’s chief executive, Adrian de Valois-Franklin, that it picked up 24 acquisitions before they were even announced (because of telltale signals suggesting a small amount of insider trading). Man AHL, meanwhile, a well-established $18.8bn quant fund provider, has been conducting research into machine-learning for trading purposes since 2009, and using it as one of the techniques to manage client money since 2014.

So it seems odd that some prominent quant funds are machine-learning sceptics. Martin Lueck of Aspect Capital finds the technique overrated, saying his firm has found only limited useful applications for it. David Siegel, co-founder of Two Sigma, a quant behemoth, and David Harding of Winton Capital, have also argued that the techniques are overhyped.

In other fields, however, machine-learning has game-changing potential. There is no reason to expect finance to be different. According to Jonathan Masci of Quantenstein, a machine-learning fund manager, years of work on rules-based approaches in computer vision—telling a computer how to recognise a nose, say—were swiftly eclipsed in 2012 by machine-learning processes that allowed computers to “learn” what a nose looked like from perusing millions of nasal pin-ups. Similarly, says Mr Masci, a machine-learning algorithm ought to beat conventional trading strategies based on rules set by humans.

The real vulnerability may in any case lie outside trading. Many quant funds depend on human researchers to sift through data and build algorithms. These posts could be replaced by better-performing machines. For all their professed scepticism, Two Sigma and its peers are busy recruiting machine-learning specialists.

This article appeared in the Finance & economics section of the print edition under the headline "Unshackled algorithms"

question: Summarize how the finance sector has benefited from machine-learning systems.

answer: The finance sector has a lot to gain from machine-learning programs. Machine learning analytical methods can reduce costs by removing many tedious and time demanding grueling tasks in the back office, scanning and watching for fraud, risk management, unifying back office, and clerical duties. The machine learning systems have many varied applications to benefit finance like matching phone calls to people in the finance industry who may be committing any crimes, such as insider trading. Machine learning in finance is a new frontier and poised to have a big impact in the security and trading business.

critique: Instead of "unifying back office, and clerical duties" it would be better to include the result of these positive implementations: data analysis.

critique: The answer should mention the use of machine learning in trading.

critique: The answer is a summary of the article, not a direct response to the question.

critique: The answer is made up of a series of sentences taken from the article. It would be better to use the article as a source of information.

critique: The answer is a summary of the article, not a summary of the benefits of machine learning.

critique: "Machine learning analytical methods can reduce costs by removing many tedious and time demanding grueling tasks in the back office, scanning and watching for fraud, risk management, unifying back office, and clerical duties." - this is incorrect. The article does not mention the finance sector using machine learning for clerical duties. This should be removed.

critique: The article only discusses fraud detection, risk management, and document review.


text:
One beer down and two to go, a can tossed from the window. A foot on the pedal and his mouth to metal he chokes on his barley and rye as the light is such sights for his sore eyes. With a flick of his wrist the lights dimmed to darkness of the mist. Gripping the wheel with force, speed became the moment of his source.

“Fuck her”. Jeremy cried. With his fist balled he punched the dash only to find that he changed the station. Life couldn't get any worse. Just today he lost his job and while coming home he found another man in bed with his wife. And now,a good song, lost in frequencies of his own stupidity. Thumbing for the tune, his eyes drifted from the road. “ Don't leave me too”. Jeremy whimpered as his fingers slipped pass the dial. Reaching for the head lights his eyes jerked forward. A dark silhouette in the middle of the windshield raced towards his car. With a twist of his fingers, an array of white shinned in the face of his wife. “Emma!”. Jeremy shouted.

The car thumped and rocked from side to side. With two feet on the brake, his heels dug into the floorboard as red flashed into his eyes from the shine of the rear view mirror. He kicked open the door and flung himself out into the road. “It cant be you. I killed you and your mutt.” Jeremy screamed. Walking slowly around his car he noticed he didn't have any damages and neither a body of any type to be found.

Jeremy walked back to his car. His seat warm and wet, he nestles back into position slamming the door behind him. While adjusting the mirror the radio broke into an emergency broadcast. “ THIS JUST IN. ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT ON THE LOOSE. TWO DEAD. FUGITIVE WEARING A WOMANS BLOUSE AND THE SKIN OF HIS VICTIM. DO NOT APPROACH. HE IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS. I REPEAT. ARMED AND DANGEROUS". Glancing to his left and right, Jeremy changed the station. “ Ha! What idiots. I'm going to get away with this scot free. Some retard is gonna get the book thrown at him for what I've done”. Revving the engine Jeremy thrust the gears into drive while smoke boiled beneath the tires.

A few miles down the road and one twenty on the speedometer, a cop appears from behind. Blue lights and sirens wailed for him to pull over. “Shit”, Jeremy thought. “Keep calm. It will all be over soon. Let him give me a ticket and ill be on my way”. A flash light tapped the car window. “ Could you roll down your window please, sir”.

“What seems to be the problem officer”? With a pen in hand, paper followed. The officer began to write. “license and registration”. Jeremy reached for his glove compartment and saw his gun on the floorboard. Not to bring any attention to it, he quickly opened the glove box and grabbed his registration. “Mr. Barns do you know how fast you were going”? Jeremy tried to remember but the thought of getting caught clouded his mind. “No officer I don't But I bet your gonna tell me”. The officer turned on his flash light and looked inside the car window. “Have you been drinking tonight”? The officer asked. His hands cupped his face to get a better look in the back seat. “No officer, I haven't ”, Jeremy said with a smile of confidence to follow.

The officer turned towards Jeremy and stared right into his eyes. “ What about her”? Asked the officer. With a scorn look of fear Jeremy sat still. twisting towards the back seat, a knife ran against his throat. Looking in the face of his wife he noticed her eyes weren't the same color as before. With her skin welted and withered, blood dripped from the cracks of her lips. A smile emerged from the floppy flesh when a deep voice of a man said, “What wrong honey. You don't love me any more!”.

title: Criminally Insane

question: Why is Jeremy feeling so down?

answer: Jeremy is feeling down because he has just lost his job and he found his wife in bed with another man.

critique: Jeremy is also upset because he lost a good song on the radio.

critique: Although his day started out worse with his wife having another man in the house and her dog dead, Jeremy's day did turn worse when he was fired.

text: It is omitted that he is also upset because a cop stops him for speeding.

question: What does Jeremy think he's got away with?

answer: Killing his wife and her dog.

critique: He thinks he's gotten away with killing his wife.

critique: He doesn't think he's gotten away with the killing, but he believes the escaped mental patient will take the fall for it.

critique: The killing of his wife was an assumption by Jeremy. He thinks he got away with running her over.

question: Who is in the back of the car and how did he get there?

answer: The escaped mental patient is in the back of the car. He must have hopped in the back when Jeremy got out of the car to check the damage after he saw his wife on the road.

critique: The escaped mental patient is not in the back of the car.

critique: The escaped mental patient is not in the back of the car, he is in the front seat.

critique: The mental patient is not in the back of the car.

text: He thinks he sees his wife, but that is the mental patient.


text:
_ARMY OF SHADOWS: PALESTINIAN COLLABORATION WITH ZIONISM, 1917–1948_ is a book published in 2004 by Hillel Cohen. It is about the sale of land and other co-operation between Arabs and Jews in Palestine before the establishment of the State of Israel.[1]

Overview

In this book, Cohen, a scholar at the Harry S. Truman Institute for the Advancement of Peace at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, documents the thousands of Arabs, ranging from wealthy absentee landlords to fellahin smallholders, who sold land to Zionist organizations. He shows that everyone understood that control of land was a necessary precondition to fulfillment of national goals, both Jewish and Arab. Cohen explains the varied motives of sellers: some wanted money, and some sold land or acted as intelligence agents for the Zionists even while they publicly denounced land sales, but there were also non-monetary motivations. Some thought that co-operating with the Zionists would improve the life of their clans and villages. Others thought that since it was impossible to defeat the Zionists, it was wiser to co-operate with them. Others were committed nationalists who believed that staying on the land was paramount and that working for and co-operating with the Zionists was the strategy that would enable them to stay on the land. Others were driven to collaborate with the Zionists or with the British out of their intense hatred for Hajj Amin al-Husayni.[2]

Cohen sees the Arabs of Mandatory Palestine as being split between two positions. There were those who agreed with Husayni that all of Palestine must remain Arab and the Zionists must be fought, and there were those who argued that the Zionists were too powerful to be defeated and so the path of wisdom lay in some sort of co-existence.[3]

According to Cohen, the Husayni clan tried to rid itself of opposition beginning in the 1920s. In 1929, Sheikh Musa Hadeib was murdered near the Jaffa Gate in Jerusalem. In the 1929 Palestine riots, Husayni spread the falsehood that the Jews intended to tear down the Al Aqsa Mosque and the Dome of the Rock, a shrine on the Temple Mount. Over the course of the next decade, Husayni had 1000 Arabs murdered, 500 in 1938 alone. In 1939, the Husaynis were paying 100 Palestine pounds to assassins who murdered important “traitors”, 25 pounds for petty “traitors” and 10 pounds for murdering a Jew.[4]

Husyani's methods drove many Arabs to side with and even to fight alongside the Zionists.[5] Perhaps the most shocking allegation in the book is that Husayni often put his own position in Palestinian politics above the interests of the Palestinian nation, most crucially so in 1939. The result was that Husayni rejected the British White Paper of 1939, which reneged on the promise of a Jewish homeland made in the Balfour Declaration and effectively promised the Palestinian Arabs majority rule and independence within a decade. According to Cohen, Husayni rejected the offer because Britain did not guarantee his position as ruler of the Palestinian Arab state that it proposed to create.[6]

Critical acclaim

Writing in _The Nation_, Neve Gordon calls _Army of Shadows_ “groundbreaking” for exposing a “particularly nefarious side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict,” the manipulation of paid Arab collaborators by Zionist organizations.[7] When the book came out, he says it caused a stir among Jewish and Arab intellectuals since both sides found the evidence presented by Cohen unpalatable.[8]

Benny Morris commented on Cohen's view of the integral role of Islam in the Palestinian national identity: “From the first, the nationalism of Palestine's Arabs was blatantly religious. Almost all the 'nationalist' statements Cohen quotes were couched in religious or semi- religious terms. We are dealing here with an Islamic nationalism.”[9] In _The New Republic_ he wrote: "His perspective—and this is one of his book's strengths--is neither pro-Palestinian nor anti-Palestinian, neither pro-Zionist nor anti-Zionist. Cohen argues-—with Talleyrand, who famously quipped that “treason is a matter of dates”—that “treason is ultimately a social construct. Definitions vary with circumstances,” and “collaboration” is “in the eye of the beholder.” So Cohen leaves “the moral and political judgment” to his readers".[10]

The most notable aspect of the book according to Stephen Schwartz, writing in the _Weekly Standard_, is the idea that some Palestinian Arabs refused to take up arms against Israel in 1948 out of hatred for Husayni. According to Cohen, Palestinian Arabs were in no hurry to join the battle: “Only a minority of Arabs were involved in offensive activities, this unwillingness to fight was frequently buttressed by agreements with Jews in nearby settlements.”[11]

[1] Advocacy Corner | The Jewish Exponent

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7] Shadowplays, by Neve Gordon March 24, 2008, The Nation

[8]

[9]

[10] The Tangled Truth by Benny Morris, the New Republic, May 07, 2008

[11] Stephen Schwartz, The Third Jihad

title: Army of Shadows: Palestinian Collaboration with Zionism, 1917–1948

question: What is the main point of the book being described in the article?

answer: It is about the sale of land and other cooperation between Arabs and Jews in Palestine before the establishment of the state of Israel.

critique: The answer should include the fact that the book also covers the collaboration between Arabs and Jews in Palestine.

critique: The answer should mention that it was about Palestinian collaboration with Zionism.

question: What does the article say about the Husayni Clan's role in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict?

answer: The Husayni Clan, a prominent family in Jerusalem, was the largest and perhaps the wealthiest Palestinian Arab merchant class family that dwelled in the Arab Quarter of Jerusalem according to Hillel Cohen. The Husayni Clan wanted to rid itself of opposition by killing off 1000 Arabs beginning in 1920. In 1929, they began telling falsehoods that the Jews wanted to tear down the Al Aqsa Mosque and the Dome of the Rock. They had 1000 Arabs murdered by 1938 and another 500 in 1938 alone.

critique: It is omitted that the Husayni Clan wanted to rid itself of opposition by killing off 1000 Arabs beginning in 1920. In 1929, they began telling falsehoods that the Jews wanted to tear down the Al Aqsa Mosque and the Dome of the Rock. They had 1000 Arabs murdered by 1938 and another 500 in 1938 alone.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that the Husayni Clan was the wealthiest Palestinian Arab merchant class family.


text:
Where am I? I don’t think I’m home; all I see is black with little outline of furniture. Ok, lets think about last night, where was I? Fuck, I don’t remember! Ok, What’s the last thing I remember? Driving to the bar I think. Fuck. I don’t even know that or what time it is, better check my phone. Shit! It’s not here.

(RING,RING,RING)

My phone! It’s on the table over there.
“Hello?” No response
“Hello?”
“Turn Around”
“What?” With shakiness in his voice.
“Turn Around” said with a harsh tone, almost a yell.
The man slowly moved his head to see behind him. There was rope hanging from a wooden banister, which was now visible in the phone light. The end of the rope was tied in a noose. Under the rope was a rustic small chair with a piece of paper nailed on the seat.
“What the fuck is going on?” No response
“ANSWER ME!” No response.
He slowly inched his way to the chair to grab the piece of paper. With a swift tear, he took the paper from the chair and began to read.

Dear Mr. Roberts,

The punishment for your sins has come. You will no longer be able to go on living a fake life. You must pay for what you did. I will never forget what you did.

Sincerely,

Caretaker

Who is this Caretaker, and what did I do to piss him off? He doesn’t really think I’m going to kill myself. Does he? I don’t even know what he’s talking about. I’m a good person! He’s got the wrong guy, I wouldn’t hurt a fly!

With the light of the phone, Mr. Roberts found the door in the dark room. He turned the door nob, and gave a steady push. The door flew open, but all he could see was the light of his phone. Everything was still black and dark. He started to inch his way through the door. His foot didn’t touch anything on the first step. He reached a little farther. Again, his foot only touched air.

This is strange, what’s going on?

He went back into the room, and shined the light of phone. This time there was a .44 magnum sitting on the bed fully loaded. This time the note was tied to the barrel of the gun. He picked up the gun and carefully took the note and began to read.
Dear Mr. Roberts,

I am doing you a favor. Take the out I have provided for you. It’s time to pay for your sins. I will never forget what you did.

Sincerely,

Caretaker

How the fuck does this guy think he’s doing me a favor? There’s no chance in hell I would ever go through with suicide. He planted a noose, and a gun because of some so called sins. This guy is fucking crazy!

He took the gun, and walked back to the open door and took aim into the darkness.

(Bang!)

He heard nothing but the sound of the gun firing. He took aim again.

(Bang! Bang!)

He heard nothing but the sound of the gun firing. The next thing he did was open the gun and took out a bullet. With the bullet laying in his palm, he dropped it over the sea of darkness. This time he heard nothing.

Mr. Roberts turned around and walked back to the bed inch by inch. He laid back down, and notice a sharp pain coming from his left arm. He lifted the covers of the bed and shined his light and saw a knife dipped in his own blood. Under the knife was an another letter, and quickly opened the note and began to read.

Dear Mr. Roberts,

This is the last time I will offer this. Either take the out I have given you, or accept the punishment of being here for eternity. I will never forget what you did.

Sincerely Caretaker

Fuck you! I don’t need this. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t see her in the street, she didn’t move. Why, didn’t she move? It was an accident. It wasn’t going to help if I stayed around and went to jail. I called 911, I did the right thing or at least I think. What am i kidding, I did a terrible thing.

Tears in his eyes he threw the knife into the darkness, and fell to his knees clutching the gun in his hands. He checked it to see how many bullets were left. He counted one.

That’s all I need. One shot through my temples and I’m gone. I know I should have stayed and took my punishment like a man. I was scared though, doesn’t that mean anything? I truly am sorry.

He brought the gun up to his head. With his finger trembling on the trigger, he slowly pressed the barrel to his temple.

“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.”

(Bang!)

The gun shot a bullet through his brain and killed him instantly. His body fell to his stomach while the blood from his wound began to fill every crease of the floor. With the gun still in hand, He laid there sin free.

title: Inevitable Punishment

question: Why is the dead man sin-free?

answer: He has killed himself.

critique: I think the grammar should be fixed. "He has killed himself."

critique: There is no evidence to suggest the man is sin-free.

critique: While this is true, the story implies that the man is sin-free because he is dead, and has accepted his punishment.

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.

critique: The answer should mention that the man is sin-free because he has accepted the punishment for his sins.

question: For what does the Caretaker hold Mr. Roberts responsible?

answer: Mr. Roberts is responsible for the death of a woman.

critique: The story mentions no death. The woman may not have died.

critique: The answer is incorrect. Mr. Roberts is responsible for killing a woman, but the Caretaker doesn't hold him responsible for her death.


text:
*On one side...*

A soft-spoken, timid wire of a librarian sits at the circulation desk checking in a stack of thick books. She looks up at the sound of the front door opening, smiling at the couple that comes through the door. A man and woman, both middle-aged and lanky, approach the desk. The man, taller and a little more weatherworn, pulls his library card from the leather wallet in his back pocket, handing it to the librarian. Unsure, her smile stays in-place.

“Hey there!” the librarian said brightly, “How can I help you today?”

The man keeps his arm outstretched, holding his card out for the librarian to take. “We would like to check out some books today.”

The librarian looks to the woman, who is staring at her intently. Puzzled. The librarian nods, her smile waning slightly.

“Do you have books on hold back here?” she says, motioning to the stacks behind her with name slips sticking out the tops. The confusion on the man’s face deepens.

“No ma’am. We just want to check out some books.” His card is still brandished, and his wife continues her piercing gaze.

“Well,” the librarian says, trying to keep her brain from over-wiring, “You are in luck. You can just go around and check out whichever  books you’d like from our stacks.” She is sure to point around to the various areas as she says this. The man looks at his wife, bewildered. Her face is unchanging as she slowly turns and takes tentative steps towards the shelves of books. The man takes a moment to lower his hand, and then carefully walks back to follow his wife.

The librarian stands there, blinking after them. What was that?

*From the Other Perspective...*

The lanky couple stood outside the small, but somehow still intimidating building. The man, his face holding more folds than most bulldogs, tried to calm himself. At his side, the stern-faced woman’s only sign of unnerve was the slight shiver of her hand holding onto the slip of paper. They would not fail at this task.

“Are you sure, this is it?” the man asked the woman in a hoarse voice.

“No other building full o’ book around, is there?” the woman spat. The man was oddly comforted by her spiteful tone. She was scared too.
The instructions had been both clear and vague. The tiny slip of paper in the woman’s hand, lovingly placed their by their Dear Leader, contained the tasks they needed to do before returning to their village that evening. It read:

*Woods - Pick up sticks*
*Fruit Stand - Pick up orange*
*Building of Books - Pick up books*

Along with the paper, their Leader had handed the man a strange, small rectangular piece of paper, stiffer than any he’d ever held, with a bunch of black lines and a thick, black strip along the bottom. He said when they got to the Building of Books, they’d know what to do.

The man had retrieved a bundle of sticks from the woods twenty meters from The Temple while the woman went to the corner harlot’s fruit stand and taken the orange. Now, here they were at their final stop, ready to complete their mission and make their Dear Leader proud.

The man heard the woman take a deep breath before they moved.

The two walked in, freezing just past the entrance. The building was unnervingly quiet, and empty excluding a small-framed woman behind the counter, waving thick books under a shining red light. The stern-faced woman narrowed her eyes.

“Witchcraft.” she whispered to the man.

The small witch raised her eyes and smiled a warm smile - far too comfortable for their liking. The man chanced one last glance at his scowling partner and took several unsteady steps towards the desk. The witch behind it put her books down.

*This should be easy*, the man thought. *She’ll know what to do here*.

He approached the wooden counter in front of her, reaching back and retrieving The Card from the worn-out leather wallet Dear Leader had gifted him on the day of his fortieth full moon, holding it out for the witch to take. Instead, she held his gaze, her smile losing some of it’s natural hold. He felt his very core shiver with fear.

“Hey there!” she said brightly, “How can I help you today?”

*Why didn’t she take it?* The man wondered, keeping his arm outstretched.

“We would like to check out some books today,” the man clarified. He drew himself up, hoping his scrawny arms and legs didn’t make him appear a fool. He saw the witch behind the desk shift her gaze to the stern-faced woman, who was staring at her intently. She appeared as puzzled as the man. The witch just nodded, her smile faltering.

“Do you have books on hold back here?” she says, motioning to the shelves of books behind her with little slips of paper poking out from the top of each. The man could feel his confusion showing itself on his wrinkled face.

*Hold? What’s a hold? Why would we have her hold something?*

“No ma’am,” he said carefully, “We just want to check out some books.” Surely she would understand now. Dear Leader had made it so clear! How hard could this be? The room was full of books, all the witch had to do was turn in any direction and grab some for him.

His card was still brandished, and the stern-faced woman continued her piercing gaze. As he looked on, he was surprised to see an odd sort of change come over the witch behind the desk. She wore a tiny smile, but there seemed to be an odd...twitch, frequenting her left eye.

*Maybe this witch was broken*, the man thought with despair. *O the souls of the sinful!*

“Well,” the broken witch said suddenly, “You are in luck. You can just go around-” she pointed to the books and shelves surrounding them, “-and check out whichever  books you’d like from our stacks.”

*Stacks?* The man thought, *we must pick out these filthy books ourselves?*

The wrinkled man looked at the stern-faced woman, bewildered. Her face was unchanging as she slowly turned and took several tentative steps towards the shelves of books. The man, seeing and following suit, slowly lowered his hand, and then carefully walked to follow the woman into the maze of ink and sin. The woman threw an odd and incredulous look at the wrinkled man.

“What was that?!”

title: Two Sides to Every Story

question: Why are the people confused by the library?

answer: They do not have similar functionality to the one described in the story.

critique: It is omitted that the story describes the interaction between people from another society and the library.

critique: The answer should be more specific about what the library is.

critique: "They do not have similar functionality to the one described in the story." - is too vague. The people are not from the town where the library is located. They are from the village where Dear Leader lives.

critique: The response is a bit vague and doesn't really answer the question. The question should be rewritten.

question: Why is the librarian puzzled by the people?

answer: The people are trying to check out books without having any books on hold.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The people are trying to check out books without having any books on hold.

critique: The answer is wrong. The couple is trying to check out books without knowing what to do.

question: What is the structure of the story?

answer: The story is told from two sides. The first is from the perspective of the librarian and the second is from the perspective of the couple who want to check out books.

critique: "The story is told from two sides. The first is from the perspective of the librarian and the second is from the perspective of the couple who want to check out books." - is written in past tense, which is improper because the second part never happened (it's all in the first person perspective) and should be rephrased to reflect the absence of correspondence between the couple and librarian.

critique: The answer should mention the twist at the end.

critique: The answer should mention that the story is a dialogue.

critique: The story is not told from the perspective of the librarian.

critique: The story is not told from the perspective of the couple.

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.


text:
Justice (C) 2012-2013 Victor D. Lopez
_______________________________

Time: The all too near future
Place: A courtroom
Setting: Final sentencing for the last remaining capital offense on the books of an apparently kinder, gentler more just world where equality is no longer a mere aspiration.
_____________________________

Justice

The prisoner stared impassively into the camera. The bright lights causing beads of sweat to form above his eyes and forcing him to squint, his perspiration-soaked thinning hair flattened unflatteringly against his forehead. No sound could be heard other than the faint hum of the air conditioning whose airflow was directed from the high ceiling above the high seats of the three judge panel, towards the three judged, keeping their immediate area comfortably cool. The camera trained on them remained a respectful distance away, and no harsh lights illuminated their somber countenances.

All three judges stared at the camera showing no emotion, their hands folded in front of them on the surface of their capacious bench on top of three equal, neat stacks of paper piled before each judge. Everywhere on earth citizens watched the unfolding drama over the neural net that provided a fully immersive experience indistinguishable from reality, effectively placing every citizen of earth in the courtroom as the Chief Judge began to speak in a deep, resonant, clear voice.

“The evidence against you has been examined. This tribunal finds you guilty of the charges against you by a unanimous vote. Have you anything you would like to add before we pass sentence?”

The camera changed back to the prisoner. The lights brightens around him and the heat rises perceptibly, adding fresh fuel to the trickle of sweat flowing down his flushed face, causing a bead of sweat to form at the end of his nose that he cannot swat away because his wrists are restrained by metal bands at the armrests of his chair, outside the viewing range of the camera which has a tight zoom on his face. “I am guilty of no crime,” the prisoner spoke in a low voice full of palpable weariness and resignation.

“You are guilty of the most heinous of crimes,” the Chief Judge contradicted. "That is not open to debate. This is your final chance to make what amends you may to those whom you have harmed through your selfish, deviant act. It will have no effect on the sentencing by this Court.”

“But I have done nothing wrong,” the man emphatically repeated, the perspiration rolling down his neck deepening the growing ring of sweat absorbed by his bright orange jumper, staining a dark collar of moisture around his neck.

“Silence!” the Chief Judge hissed. “The record will show that the prisoner is unrepentant. This Court finds that the prisoner willfully, maliciously and without justification removed his neural connector with the purpose and effect of disconnecting himself from the Net. We further find that the motivating factor for this egregious, willful and repugnant crime was the attempt to abandon the Common Consciousness and establish his individuality separate and apart from the Communal Mind. We further find that the subject is in full possession of his legal faculties and capable of understanding the criminal nature of his acts, and, perhaps most tragically, that he fails to see the enormity of his crime.” The Chief Justice faltered slightly, delivering the final words of the Courts sentence with a slight tremor in his voice. After stopping a moment to compose himself as his learned colleagues looked on impassively, he continued. “It is, therefore, the judgment of this Court that you will forever remain disconnected from the nets from this day forward.”

Upon hearing the Judge’s words the prisoner’s eyes opened wider, attempting to digest their import. Could it be? Could he finally be allowed the freedom to regain his humanity? The unalienable right to be an individual for the first time in his life? The opportunity to live in a world in which he could have original thoughts, genuine emotions, and the opportunity to be different from everyone else? The joy in these words nearly made him faint with relief and unbridled joy, allowing him for the first time in his life the possibility of hope as tears welled in his eyes. He found he could not speak, could not express even the simple words “thank you” to the Court. It was as though he were emerging from a life-long nightmare, as if . . .

“The prisoner’s IP address, 999.999.999.999, shall be erased from the Nets,” the Judge continued as the prisoner’s tears flowed freely. His existence shall be forever stricken from the Collective Consciousness lest it germinate there and once again grow sedition in our midst.” The prisoner wept openly now while smiling broadly. “The death sentence for this most heinous of crimes is hereby commuted so that the prisoner may be allowed the individuality he craved for the rest of his natural life, devoid of the comfort of humanity or the distracting influences of life.”

The Chief Judge then paused and took a deep breath. “It is further ordered by this Court that the prisoner shall have his eyes, eardrums, tongue and olfactory organs surgically removed that he may not see, hear, taste, or speak with any other human being for the rest of his natural life. thereafter, he is to be remanded to a hospital where he shall be restrained to a bed and tended to by robotic life support aids. The sentence of this Court shall be carried out immediately and shall be witnessed by all Citizens of Earth as partial reparation for this most heinous of crimes against humanity.”

The prisoner’s screams lasted only a few moments as an anesthetic was administered and the cameras were re-arranged in preparation for justice to be carried out.

__________________________
Justice - from Book of Dreams 2e: Science Fiction and Speculative Fiction Short Stories (c) 2013 by Victor D. Lopez.

title: Justice

question: Explain the crime that the protagonist committed and why it is so "heinous."

answer: The protagonist removed his neural connector with the purpose and effect of disconnecting himself from the Net. The crime was so heinous because it was an attempt to abandon the Communal Mind and establish his individuality separate and apart from the Communal Mind.

critique: The answer should mention the crime's motive.

critique: The crime is not an attempt to abandon the Communal Mind and establish his individuality separate and apart from the Communal Mind. It is the crime of having done so.

critique: The answer should mention that the crime was also an act of sedition.

critique: The answer should mention that the crime is punishable by death.

critique: "The crime was so heinous because it was an attempt to abandon the Communal Mind and establish his individuality separate and apart from the Communal Mind." - superfluous information that can be deleted.

critique: The answer should mention that the crime was punishable by death.

text: '...it was an attempt to abandon the Communal Mind...' This line is inaccurate and should be written according to how it appears in the story.

question: Summarize the setting of the story.

answer: The story takes place in a courtroom in the future. The setting is described as final sentencing for the last remaining capital offense on the books of an apparently kinder, gentler, more just world where equality is no longer a mere aspiration. The story takes place in a courtroom where everything is described as somber. The temperature is cool, and the lighting is bright.

critique: "The temperature is cool" - is incorrect. The temperature is kept cool by the air conditioning.

critique: The lighting is not described as bright.

critique: The temperature is not described as cool.

critique: The room is described as being cool, but not necessarily somber.

critique: The lighting is described as bright, not somber.

critique: It's omitted that the room is bright because of cameras.

text: 'The story takes place in a courtroom where everything is described as somber.' This is redundant. The answer already mentioned that the story takes place in a courtroom. Delete this sentence.

category: coherence

question: Explain the twist at the end of the story.

answer: The prisoner thinks that he is going to be set free from his shackles, but instead the judges sentence him to be deprived of his senses and live out his life as a prisoner.

critique: It is omitted that he is sentenced to have his senses removed.

critique: The answer should mention that the prisoner is sentenced to be disconnected from the nets.

critique: The answer omits the fact that the prisoner is sentenced to die.

critique: The response is missing the part about the prisoner's existence being erased from the Collective Consciousness.

critique: The answer should mention that the prisoner is sentenced to be deprived of his senses and live out his life as a prisoner.

critique: The judges are giving the prisoner another chance at life. "This Court finds that the prisoner willfully, maliciously and without justification removed his neural connector with the purpose and effect of disconnecting himself from the Net. We further find that the motivating factor for this egregious, willful and repugnant crime was the attempt to abandon the Common Consciousness and establish his individuality separate and apart from the Communal Mind. We further find that the subject is in full possession of his legal faculties and capable of understanding the criminal nature of his acts, and, perhaps most tragically, that he fails to see the enormity of his crime." The judges decide to let the man regain his humanity. "It is, therefore, the judgment of this Court that you will forever remain disconnected from the nets from this day forward."

text:
-The answer omits that he will be restrained to a bed and be tended to by robotic life support aids.
-It is also omitted that his punishment was to be carried out immediately and would be witnessed by all Citizens of Earth.

question: Summarize the negative events of the story.

answer: The prisoner has been found guilty of removing his neural connector with the effect of disconnecting himself from the net. This act is to forfeit his individuality. The prisoner will forever be disconnected from the nets, he will lose his freedom, his IP Address will be erased and his existence stricken from the Collective Consciousness.

critique: The response includes some inaccurate information.

critique: The prisoner is also sentenced to have his eyes, ears, tongue, and olfactory organs removed.

critique: The prisoner's eyes, eardrums, tongue, and olfactory organs will be removed.

critique: "This act is to forfeit his individuality." - this is incorrect. The prisoner's crime was to forfeit his individuality by removing his neural connector.

critique: The prisoner will also have his senses removed.

critique: The prisoner will also lose his eyes, eardrums, tongue, and olfactory organs.

critique: Everything after the first sentence is unnecessary

text: 'This act is to forfeit his individuality.' This sentence is inaccurate. His act was to abandon the Common Consciousness and establish his individuality separate from the Communal Mind. This should be stated instead.


text:
A draft of the federal Liberal government's proposed Indigenous child welfare bill recently received negative reviews from First Nations representatives involved in co-development talks with Ottawa, according to a grand chief.

[]

Indigenous Services Seamus O'Regan said First Nations concerns will be incorporated in final version of Indigenous child welfare bill. (Sean Kilpatrick/Canadian Press)

A draft of the federal Liberal government's proposed Indigenous child welfare bill recently received negative reviews from First Nations representatives involved in co-development talks with Ottawa, according to a grand chief.

Ottawa announced last November it would table the bill that would break from more than 100 years of destructive federal policies aimed at Indigenous children that began with residential schools and led to tens of thousands of Indigenous children in care today.

The promised legislation is an outgrowth of the 2016 Canadian Human Rights Tribunal ruling that found Ottawa discriminated against First Nations children by underfunding child welfare services on reserve.

Cindy Blackstock, who heads the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society and led the human rights complaint, has been in the loop on the draft legislation as a result of the tribunal ruling.

[]

Cindy Blackstock, executive director of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society, said the Indigenous child welfare bill must not be a 'paper tiger.' (Sean Kilpatrick/Canadian Press)

Blackstock said legislation must include an equitable and statutory funding base, affirm First Nations jurisdiction, focus on structural flaws that put children at risk, family and community health and acknowledge the "sacredness of children."

"Absent these critical ingredients, the law risks being a paper tiger and a disappointment to another generation of children," said Blackstock in an emailed statement.

Federal officials presented the draft version of the bill late last month to First Nations representatives from an Assembly of First Nations working group created to lead co-development work.

Concerns over funding and jurisdiction

"There were some good things and some things we had concerns about," said Association of Iroquois and Allied Indians (AIAI) Grand Chief Joel Abram, the Ontario First Nations political representative on the working group.

Abram said his organization would oppose the proposed legislation if problems aren't fixed in the final product.

-

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AIAI previously opposed the now-shelved Indigenous rights and recognition framework which aimed to enshrine the Constitution's section 35 Aboriginal rights in federal legislation on grounds it threatened First Nations rights.

"We were one of the main opponents pushing against the framework and if this bill isn't right, we will do the same thing," said Abram, who saw the draft but couldn't discuss details due to a confidentiality undertaking.

[]

Association of Iroquois and Allied Indians Grand Chief Joel Abram. (Derek Spalding/CBC)

Abram said his organization's main concerns going into discussions on the bill — that it recognize First Nations jurisdiction over child welfare and enshrine equitable and statutory funding — remained following his review of the draft bill.

He said federal officials were told which parts of the draft remain problematic and how they could be fixed.

"The best we could do at that time was to raise concerns in specific areas and suggest what would work," he said.

'A work in progress'

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told the AFN chiefs in December the bill would be tabled by the last week of January, but federal officials are still working to finalize it.

Indigenous Services Seamus O'Regan said in an emailed statement that the concerns raised by First Nations representatives did not fall on deaf ears.

"We must ensure that critical feedback from our partners is incorporated," said O'Regan in the statement.

"We have heard clearly from First Nations, Inuit and Métis through engagement and the co-development process that essential elements must be addressed."

O'Regan said in the statement that the legislation would be tabled "shortly" and that it was "important ... we get it right."

AFN Manitoba regional Chief Kevin Hart, who chairs the legislative working group, said discussions continue with federal officials on improving the proposed legislation.

"We are going back and forth," said Hart. "It is still a work in progress."

[]

Assembly of First Nations Manitoba regional chief Kevin Hart says the draft bill is 'still a work in progress.' (CBC)

Time is running out on the Liberal government which faces 13 sitting weeks in the House of Commons calendar before dissolution and the beginning of the next federal election period.

The Indigenous child welfare bill is one of three major pieces of legislation promised by the Trudeau government to Indigenous Peoples, including a bill on Indigenous languages and the rights framework.

Only the Indigenous Languages Acthas made the House of Commons order paper.

Jane Philpott, the former minister of Indigenous Services, announced the government's intention to table Indigenous child welfare legislation last November.

-   Philpott says child services bill can be a 'turning point' in Crown-Indigenous relationship

-   Promised Indigenous rights recognition legislation won't be in place before next election

Philpott, who is now Treasury Board President, said at the time the legislation would "enable" First Nations jurisdiction over child welfare which has been the domain of the provinces.

The Indian Act, which governs the majority of First Nations, makes no mention of child welfare.

Philpott said the legislation would mark a "turning point" in addressing a "humanitarian crisis" created by the disproportionate number of Indigenous children in foster care.

Hope remains bill will hit the mark

AFN National Chief Perry Bellegarde has said there are an estimated 40,000 First Nations children in care.

Mary Teegee, a technical advisor on the AFN legislative working group, also saw the draft bill and said it contained flaws.

[]

Mary Teegee, executive director of Carrier Sekani Family Services in B.C., said Indigenous child welfare legislation must affirm First Nations jurisdiction. (Chris Corday/CBC)

"It definitely wasn't what we had expected," said Teegee.

"I think there is a lot of work to be done. There was an opportunity for people to provide their input as to what should be included, what should be changed and what should be strengthened."

Teegee, executive director of Carrier Sekani Family Services in B.C., said the legislation must reflect what First Nations demand: jurisdiction.

She said it should also guarantee the statutory and equitable funding required under the Human Rights Tribunal ruling.

"We have done so much work. Our blood, sweat and tears are in it," said Mary Teegee, who was a board member of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society when it launched the human rights complaint in 2007.

"Hopefully, something good will come out of it and we will develop our laws in our communities," she said.

question: Summarize what the Indigenous child welfare bill proposes to cover.

answer: It aims to improve the nation's child welfare system and treatment of Indigenous children, and will end destructive federal policies aimed at Indigenous children that began with residential schools. Furthermore, it will recognize First Nations jurisdiction over child welfare. Those who have been involved in its development have raised concerns about the bill, most prominently concerning jurisdictional issues and financial concerns.

critique: The bill will also include an equitable and statutory funding base.

critique: The bill is intended as a response to residential schools as well as discrimination. The phrasing of the sentence makes it sound as if there is some uncertainty about the effects of residential schools.

critique: It is omitted that the bill was a response to the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal ruling that found Ottawa discriminated against First Nations children by underfunding child welfare services on reserve.

critique: "those who have been involved" - add "First Nations"

critique: The bill isn't yet in place, so it can't have a definite effect on Indigenous children.

critique: The bill was drafted by the Liberal government, not the nation.

question: Summarize the reasons opponents give for being critical of the bill.

answer: They have concerns over jurisdiction and funding. After reviewing the bill as a draft, they have provided solutions to the problems in it. The bill promises that the critical feedback of its critics would be included in the final document. It could be said that critics simply want to provide better solutions without the central government taking away local control over child welfare. The solutions provided are for the betterment of the people involved and for children to grow up safely in their natural environment.

critique: The last two sentences are not relevant to the question.

critique: The article does not mention that the solutions provided are for the betterment of the people involved and for children to grow up safely in their natural environment.

critique: The answer is a bit long for the question. It should be re-written to meet the requirements.

critique: The response is incorrect and does not reflect the concerns of the First Nations representatives.

critique: Nothing about the bill's supporters being "central government"