text:
This is the ending of the first dream I ever remember. It was the only time I ever "met" my grandfather who died six months before I was born. I was three when I had it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The air was ephemeral.

It was more of a concept than anyone that young should embrace, but it was. The air, what else could you call it? It was ephemeral. Each breath lasted within the nostrils for only a moment and then they scintillated through his flesh as does daybreak from the pupils. That's all the longer it needed to and then it was gone. Thick and heady, but then only a memory. It was just as the colors, the sounds, the smells...everything; so ephemeral.

The cousins, they bounded off into the distance. They were free, joyous, and ignorant. All of them knew nothing except what was in front of them except one. She looked back. Her eyes filled with fear, resentment, and longing from beneath inky bangs. She wanted what she could never ask for, for what she'd eventually bridle herself with, but for what could never be given. Even she turned away.

"This is your responsibility. I wish I could spare you some of it. It is yours...all of it."

These were ancient words, far older concepts, more than a young mind could bear. The elderly man stooped down among crimson leaves hanging from emerald capped mushrooms beneath lavender skies.

"This is as far as I can bring you. You will have to carry them the rest of the way."

The young boy, still silent, looked to the rest of his party. They were his age and a bit older. They were smarter, wiser, more independent. As they bounded off he wondered what else he could possibly have to offer them. The fear and turmoil was nothing to them. They didn't register the terror as he did. What more guidance could he offer them?

"There are far more my boy. They have much farther to go; much farther than you or I have traveled and much farther than you can imagine. They are your responsibility though. You have to pull them through."

The boy's eyes watered. It was the stress of responsibility and the weight of inevitability. It was the strain weighing on nerves and thoughts which could barely sustain their own mass, much less the heaving of eternity. Yet here it all met. Timelines, seemingly so incongruent yet so inevitable, meeting at the crossroads of ancient history and fate's inexorable rails.

"It isn't fair, I know. We've done the best we can for you, and I admit, it's not enough. I don't think it is enough, but I know it must be enough. You will bring them, not just *them*," nodding to the little girls bounding off to consciousness, "but all of them. It won't be pretty and you probably won't think you'll do it well, but you must believe me -- if you won't believe anyone else --  no one else can do this thing. You will bring them through. You will bring them through the darkness, the forest, the things that they fear, and the things which fear you. Most importantly, only you can bring them through that which you fear most."

That was what broke the dam of tears. That elicited fear and sadness and doubt. The boy shuddered under the weight of this promise. This was the promise which would break anyone, the one not made by a man but made to a man. It incapacitated him, it emancipated him, and still it endowed him with a lifetime of duty.

"In the end this will hurt more than any pain I could inflict," and now the old man began to cry, slow streams of tears down a creased face as he knelt to hold the boys trembling cheeks in his hands for one last time, "but it will save them, it will save me, and most importantly my boy, it will save you."

They embraced. The boy's tiny arms struggled to wrap around the elderly man's withering frame. It was the first time. It was the last time. It was the only time.

The boy looked at him in his somber pinstriped suit. The navy lines barely registered among  the dark charcoal wool which covered him from saddle shod toes to fedora lined brow. The subdued colors shone brightly against the ghastly hued landscape. The boy walked away towards both liberty and incarceration.

Of all the colors he looked back on the only one he could truly remember were those refracted through his grandfather's tears. The light that passed through the drops of his eyes carried everything. They carried hope, doubt, strength, weakness, triumph, and failure. They carried lifetimes. They carried the weight, the eternal weight, the weight no sane man could accept and no honorable man could reject.

Then he awoke. For the first time, he truly awoke.

title: The First Dream's Farewell

question: Summarize what the passage says about the grandfather choosing the narrator.

answer: The narrator is unsure of his responsibility on his journey so his grandfather consoles him, telling him that it is his responsibility and that if he can't handle it, he will fail his entire party. His grandfather tells him that he will have to pull through for the others, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. He tells the boy that he will bring everyone through the dark forest, through what they fear, and what fears them. Most importantly, the grandfather promises the boy that he must bring everyone through his greatest fear.

critique: The grandfather doesn't console the narrator, he tells him that he will have to pull through for the others.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The narrator is chosen by the grandfather.

critique: The grandfather doesn't tell the boy that he will fail his entire party.

critique: The sentences of this passage are run-on sentences. Each should be turned into a proper sentence.

question: What according to the passage is the grandfather's role?

answer: He is the boy's guide and mentor.

critique: This answer omits how the grandfather fulfills his role.

critique: The grandfather's role is to give the boy a lifetime of duty.

critique: The boy's grandfather is more than a mentor.

critique: A mentor and guide are not necessarily the same thing.

critique: The boy's guide and mentor is the boy's grandfather, not the boy himself.

critique: "He is the boy's guide and mentor." - it was never mentioned if the boy had a mentor.

critique: The grandfather is also the boy's guide and mentor to his descendants.

question: Summarize the emotional journey of the little boy.

answer: The little boy is overwhelmed by the responsibility given to him by his grandfather. He is afraid and sad. He is also filled with doubt. His grandfather's words break down the dam of tears and elicit fear, sadness, and doubt. He is overwhelmed by the weight of this promise. He embraces his grandfather. The boy looks back on the only color he could truly remember were those refracted through his grandfather's tears.

critique: I would add that after he wakes up the first time, he feels truly awake.

critique: The boy looks back on the only color he could truly remember. There is no evidence that he looks back on the only color he could truly remember were those refracted through his grandfather's tears.

critique: The boy's grandfather doesn't break down the dam of tears. It's the boy's tears.

critique: "He embraces his grandfather. The boy looks back on the only color he could truly remember were those refracted through his grandfather's tears." - this is unnecessary and should be deleted.

critique: The boy's emotional journey is not fully described.

critique: The boy's grandfather's words break down the dam of tears, not the dam of tears.

critique: The boy's grandfather's words break down the dam of tears and elicit fear, sadness, and doubt. He is overwhelmed by the weight of this promise. He embraces his grandfather. The boy looks back on the only color he could truly remember were those refracted through his grandfather's tears.


split: train

text:
“THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED” is the fifth episode in the fourth season of the re-imagined _Battlestar Galactica_. It first aired on television on May 2, 2008. The survivor count shown in the title sequence is 39,676. It is the only episode of the entire series in which Bill Adama does not appear, and the first of two episodes not to feature Laura Roslin. It is also the final episode in which Number Six is absent.

Plot

The episode begins aboard _Demetrius,_ now 58 days into the mission to find Earth. Helo reports to Captain Starbuck and reminds her that the time is near to rendezvous back with the fleet. Starbuck concentrates intently on a star chart of a sector Helo states they have explored twice already. She tells him that she has a feeling that the “third time's a charm” and that she will scout the sector herself.

On _Galactica_, Gaius Baltar continues to preach his monotheistic beliefs. He hears a woman's story of the loss of her family during the Cylon sneak attack and her anger that the Gods stood by and let it happen. Baltar tells her that the Gods didn't aid them because they do not exist and humanity has been pandering to their own ignorance. Meanwhile, in his quarters, Galen Tyrol listens to Baltar's rhetoric over a radio while he exercises.

In space, Starbuck and her wingman Hot Dog head out to explore the sector. Soon, DRADIS picks up an incoming Cylon Heavy Raider. Starbuck intercepts the craft which is heavily damaged and spinning out of control. Suddenly, she hears the voice of Leoben Conoy over the communications channel who tells Starbuck that he has found her and it is time to complete her journey. Leoben is brought aboard _Demetrius_ where he tells Starbuck that she needs the help of his fellow Cylons and that she needs to go to the Hybrid; it will give her the answers she seeks. Instead of locking him up, Starbuck has him taken to her quarters.

On _Galactica_, Tory finds Tyrol standing in the Viper launch tube obsessing about Cally's “accident”. Tory tells him that she was emotionally disturbed, but Tyrol says she would have never left their son Nicholas behind. Tory suggests Cally sensed Tyrol was a Cylon, and was afraid of him. She says whatever the reason, it was part of God's divine plan and speaks of Baltar's preachings. Vexed, Tyrol states she has been spending too much time with Baltar.

On _Demetrius_, Anders returns from a recon flight and finds Leoben with Starbuck, guiding her hand in painting her mural - his other hand on her hip. Anders furiously rips Leoben away from her and Starbuck protests the intrusion. As the guards take Leoben away, Helo steps in and reminds Starbuck of the months of mind-games that Leoben played on her back on New Caprica, but she argues that Leoben can help find Earth.

Meanwhile, Anders roughs up Leoben and demands to know what he wants from Starbuck. Leoben says he just wants her to understand her destiny, just as Anders himself is looking for his own moment of clarity. Anders pulls a gun but Leoben says if he dies, Starbuck's dream dies with him and explains there won't be a resurrection this time. Leoben informs him of the war among the Cylons, between those who embrace their nature and those who fear it. He proposes an alliance between his faction and the fleet. The hybrid can lead Starbuck to righteousness and together they can find the promised land. Anders scoffs at the notion and leaves.

Afterward, Anders tells the others of Leoben's proposal which causes more animosity amongst the crew who want to return to the fleet. Everyone, including Athena, believes Starbuck is being brainwashed by the Cylon and he will only lead them into a trap. Helo tries to silence any talk of mutiny, but the antagonism grows more intense. Starbuck appears, apparently overhearing the others, and tells Helo to retrieve the navigation computer from Leoben's Raider.

Back on _Galactica_, Baltar discusses with Tory the effects his movement is having on President Roslin and the Quorum. Although he is attracting more followers, the leaders consider them of little consequence.

Tyrol attends Baltar's next sermon where Colonel Tigh arrives and pulls him aside. Tigh strongly suggests that Tyrol get over Cally and return to duty, but Tyrol takes offense saying it's not as easy for him to bury his dead wife as Tigh had buried Ellen. He also brings up Tigh's continual visits to Caprica Six. Tigh tells him that he is not ashamed of anything he has done. He can live with all of his choices, but Tyrol says he himself can't.

On _Demetrius_, Sergeant Erin Mathias goes out in a space suit to check for tracking devices on the docked Raider, but the ship suddenly explodes and Mathias is flung into space.

On _Galactica_, Tyrol attends another sermon by Baltar; as he leaves, Baltar calls out to him – to set their differences aside and take his hand for Cally. Tyrol tells Baltar that Cally may have forgiven him but there are some sins that even God won't forgive. Instead of taking Baltar's hand, Tyrol violently chokes him. Baltar's followers pull Tyrol away while he furiously shouts that Baltar didn't know Cally. Tyrol then enters his quarters and furiously trashes the room. He pulls out a gun and points it at his head shouting in despair. He then tearfully breaks down.

On _Demetrius_, Starbuck accuses Leoben of blowing up his raider and strikes him bloody. He swears it was a malfunction but then tells Starbuck to finish him off promising he won't be resurrected this time. Starbuck relents and asks what happened the two months she was missing – the visions of her mother she had, what does it all mean? Leoben says she has to make peace with the ghosts of her past as they are obstacles that are keeping her from realizing her destiny. He tells her that he sees her as an angel blazing with God's glory and waiting to lead her people on.

Starbuck meets with her crew to honor Mathias. She blames herself for the loss, but they have to complete the mission. She orders Helo to set course to rendezvous with Leoben's Basestar. When she leaves, Lieutenant Pike refuses to follow Starbuck any further and demands Helo take charge of the situation. Pike refuses to stand down, and Helo knocks him to the deck.

On _Galactica_, against the warnings of his followers, Baltar pays a visit to Tyrol's quarters. He finds Tyrol lying awake in his bunk with the gun on his hip. Baltar nervously apologizes for his intrusion and says he is truly sorry for Cally's loss. He admits to having done unconscionable crimes but he seems to have been given another chance for redemption and begs Tyrol for forgiveness. As Baltar leaves, Tyrol holds out his hand in friendship and Baltar eagerly accepts it.

On _Demetrius_ Starbuck enters the bridge and issues an order to Helo to prepare for a jump to the coordinates of the Basestar. All eyes fall on Helo as he swallows hard and tells Starbuck he cannot put the crew at risk. Starbuck relieves him and appoints Mr. Gaeta as the new XO, but he also refuses to follow her command. Starbuck narrows her eyes as Helo asserts his authority to relieve her of command.

title: The Road Less Traveled (Battlestar Galactica)

question: Summarize the context around this episode of Battlestar Galactica.

answer: The episode is the fifth episode in the fourth season of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. The survivor count shown in the title sequence is 39,676. It is the only episode of the entire series in which Bill Adama does not appear, and the first of two episodes not to feature Laura Roslin. It is also the final episode in which Number Six is absent.

critique: It is omitted that it first aired on television on May 2, 2008.

critique: "The survivor count shown in the title sequence is 39,676." - this is unnecessary information.

critique: The answer should mention the context around the episode.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The episode's context is not limited to the series.

critique: The content included in the answer is mostly relevant to the show's plot, not its context.

critique: It is omitted that the episode is the only episode in which Bill Adama does not appear.

question: Summarize Captain Starbuck's relationship with Leoben Conoy.

answer: Starbuck first met Leoben Conoy back on New Caprica, where he played a months-long game of psychological warfare with her. He reappears 58 days into the mission and declares that he has found her and it is time to complete her journey. Her response is to have Leoben taken to her quarters. Later, when Anders wins a violent confrontation with Leoben and has him taken away to the brig, Leoben says that if he dies, Starbuck's dream dies with him. Convinced that Leoben can help them find their destination, Starbuck eventually allows him to go free.

critique: "Convinced that Leoben can help them find their destination, Starbuck eventually allows him to go free." - the answer is completely wrong.

critique: It is omitted that Starbuck believes Leoben's proposal and allows him to go free.

critique: "Convinced that Leoben can help them find their destination, Starbuck eventually allows him to go free." - this is inaccurate. Starbuck never allows Leoben to go free. She orders Helo to set course to rendezvous with Leoben's Basestar.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that Starbuck allows Leoben to go free.

critique: We don't know that she allows him to go free, she just doesn't incarcerate him.

critique: "Convinced that Leoben can help them find their destination, Starbuck eventually allows him to go free." - this is inaccurate. Leoben was never free. He was taken to the brig.

critique: Starbuck doesn't allow him to go free. She orders Helo to set course to rendezvous with Leoben's Basestar.

critique: The response inaccurately mentions that Starbuck allows Leoben to go free, however it was Anders who allowed Leoben to go free.

question: Summarize the primary source of tension on Galactica.

answer: Galactica seems plagued by the mounting tension regarding whether or not the crew should act against Starbuck's command and turn back toward the fleet. The crewmates are concerned that she has become brainwashed by Cylon Leoben, and they believe that she may be leading them into a trap. The only reason Tyrol and Anders appear not to care is probably due to their focus on the actions and recoveries of Cally and their unborn child. In the end, Starbuck does go to the basestar with six crew members, and it's not clear whether she remains in command.

critique: The mention of Starbuck's destination is made irrelevant to the original question.

critique: This is not the primary source of tension on Galactica.

critique: This is a lot of assumptions. It's not clear why the crewmates are so concerned about Starbuck.

critique: The answer is not clear about the crew's concerns about Starbuck.

critique: The answer is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The answer is not clear about the crew's concerns.

question: What does the text say about the original Battlestar Galactica series?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the original series is mentioned in the text.

critique: There is no answer to the question in the text.

critique: The answer should mention that the episode is a part of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica series.

critique: The article mentions the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica series, so the original series is not relevant to the question.

critique: The response misses to mention that the original Battlestar Galactica series is the one that the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica is based on.

critique: The answer should mention that the original series is not mentioned in the text.

critique: The episode is the fifth of the fourth season of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. The original Battlestar Galactica series is not mentioned in the article.


text:
Hello r/shortstories! I am currently experimenting in creative writing and have so far written this little piece to start off. Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated.

Her hair gently sided as the howling gale crept through the boarded windows. Ever since the invasion it started to snow and it never stopped. She took refuge in a motor parts warehouse after the pathetic attempt to protect her home. While the world desperately was busy recovering from an economic meltdown, the invaders above us prepared their vast army for a devastating attack. Her grandparents that were separated from her after the destruction of their house would tell her about a day where race would not matter, gender would not make a difference and love was their strongest weapon. That day never came, not yet.
“Where is the love now?” she whispered to herself seated inside a semi, fondling with her handgun.
She had been alone in the warehouse for days and the only thing relatively close to love is when her pistol barrel is faced towards the enemy’s face. She kept count of the hell she brought to the invaders whenever they approached the warehouse- three to be exact. Despite the invaders’ hefty size and treacherous nature, it was no match against the young lady with so many specialties. Her knowledge of Tai kwon do gave her the ability to approach the invaders in close quarter combat when needed (so far not needed yet) and being in scouts gave her the advantage of tracking enemies before they could get too close. Oh, and being prom queen in high school a few years ago made her quite attractive.  Poor things never saw what was coming at them before it was too late.
As days passed she grew an unimaginable hunger that was never experienced before. Anything sounded good at that point. Staying alert throughout the night really drained her from sleep which did not help either. There was a supermarket a few blocks away from where she had taken refuge. She knew with the strength she had, she would only live one or two more days, max. So putting on layer upon layer of whatever “clothing” she found around the warehouse from ripped apart leather seats to padded head rests and boots made exactly for apocalyptic days like these; she prepared to venture out into the violent blizzard. Her vision was blinded by the reflection of the snow once outside. Although the intense cold made her instantly begin to lose feelings in her feet and hands, she felt happy she was outside again.
Upon arrival, she looked up to see the once automatic door now laid on the ground with the glass shattered everywhere. Taking just a few steps into the store she catches a lonely shopping cart tilted over just waiting for someone to pick it up and use it again. Her gloves stuck on the plastic handle for a second after placing it back on its wheels. Realizing the cold could literally freeze anything together she quickly resumed her task. Going through aisle after aisle, she swept the canned foods into her cart as if it was black Friday at Wal Mart. There was no one competing with her but yet she had the urge to go fast and get out fast.  Fast until something caught the corner of her eye. Standing absolutely still, a black figure noticed her existence and standing on its powerful hind legs it turned to face her. Neither beings moved. It became incredibly difficult to breathe and all she could think of was how stupid of her not to scout what the surroundings were like before going in. Almost like a contest to see who moved first sweat dropped from her “v” shaped chin. Did time freeze? No. Her heart beat increased uncontrollably; so fast that she felt if it went any faster her heart was going to explode. The sight of such an abomination, saliva dripping from it’s razor jaw. Its eyes so dark she felt lost just looking into them. The creature roared a roar so loud a box of cereal fell over beside her feet, and with a monstrous step forward the brawl began. A sinister snicker spread across her face until it matured into a crazed laughter, she reached for the handgun strapped on her waist with the initials “P.G” forged on the handle in italics. Love.

title: Days Come and Go

question: How was a young woman of slight build able to overcome hefty invaders?

answer: She was a prom queen in high school, and had been trained in Tai kwon do, scouting, and had a handgun.

critique: The answer should mention that she was also a skilled fighter.

critique: She had been trained in scouting, not scouting

text: The woman being prom queen is irrelevant to her survival. This should be omitted.

category: accuracy

question: Why does the woman leave the shelter?

answer: She is hungry and knows she will die if she stays in the shelter.

critique: She doesn't know she will die if she stays in the shelter. She just thinks she will only live one or two more days.

critique: The woman is not in a shelter. She is in a warehouse.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: She is not necessarily going to die if she stays in the shelter.

question: What does PG stand for?

answer: It stands for the young lady's initials.

critique: "It stands for the young lady's initials." - it was never implied what the initials stand for.

text: It would be better to use speculative terms like "it can be assumed" for this answer, as nothing is said directly.

category: coherence


text:
We've been inundated in recent weeks on social media with the hastag #NewYearNewMe, but we can't help but think that this is a bit drastic - so we've decided to focus on improving what we've already got - be it ourselves or our homes. So many of us choose this time of year to revitalise and start a-fresh, giving-up our vices for a month, 12 months or a lifetime, in pursuit of a healthier, more energetic lifestyle.  Some of our resolutions include the usuals of drinking more water, cleansing every night and, of course, completely implementing Deliciously Ella's latest tome - finally spiralizing any item of veg that comes our way.

When in doubt about our own well-being, we always ask our favourite nutrition & juicing expert, the gorgeous Coral - co-founder of 42Juice in Brighton & Hove. Coral's love for nutrition started when she fell ill with meningitis in 2006 when her quick recovery was helped by eating a macrobiotic diet, which she would prepare with her father daily. Coral went on to study nutrition and weight management, personal training, and travel to India to train in Ashtanga Yoga and Ayurveda.

[The French Bedroom Company Blog, New Year Detox: For your & your home with Coral of 42 Juice Brighton]

Co-Founders of 42 JuiceCoral & Natalie; 42Juice Hove.

We asked Coral for her Top 3 tips when considering a detox:

1.  _"Always try to start a detox when you know that your social calendar is pretty free. Doing a juice cleanse can be pretty testing for your willpower as it is, even without putting temptation right in front of you by going out for dinners or drinks - you don't want to have to feel awkward by having to say 'no' all the time either, so try scheduling a cleanse when you don't have much planned and keep life simple._
2.  _Try to cut out things like caffeine, sugar, meat, alcohol and processed food about a week before starting a juice cleanse. This way your body will have time to slowly detox from things that can give you pretty grim withdrawal symptoms when coming off them. Cutting out solid food can be challenging enough without having to go cold turkey from coffee too!_
3.  _Emptying your fridge of food is always a good idea when embarking on a juice detox, so nothing is likely to lead you to temptation!"_

If we were to brave a full 3-5 day juice cleanse, what can we expect?

"_The first few days of a detox can be tough so be prepared for a roller-coaster, you may be one of the lucky ones who find it really easy right from the start. If you do struggle initially though, always hang in there... If you can manage 3-5 days then after the initial 3 days you genuinely start to feel as light as a feather and on cloud 9! Brain fog tends to fade and you can have so much more clarity and energy. Your taste buds start to change too! So you don't crave the same things that you might have done before, it's like pressing reset. Doing an organic juice fast can be a great way to start off a healthy eating regime as you will often only want to put healthy foods back in your body. It's like after getting  your car cleaned - you wouldn't want to then throw loads of rubbish and mud all inside it would you?!"_ No we wouldn't!!

We can't help but think that this is the perfect time to apply the same concept to our homes, ridding our interiors of the toxins which have stayed in our lives out of either lack of inspiration or familiarity. Maybe a splash of new colour or a refreshing white wash; a furniture re-jig to breathe new purpose into a room or sometimes just the addition of a throw in a contrasting colour or texture can make an armchair, sofa or bed feel refreshed; new bed linen not only freshens up a look and helps transform a whole room, but will give you that much sought after wonderful "new bed linen" feel, which is one up from our favourite "clean bed linen" feeling at the end of the day; the addition of a floor lamp to give a new glow to a room and different dynamic to a forgotten corner.

This fab room in our showroom was born out of the need for a bit of rejuvenation at The FBC - it would have been very comfortable for us to place these lovely items against a black backdrop for a dramatic look or a white wall for a monochromatic vibe, instead, we decided to shake things up a bit, look into what trends we loved and then, paint! We love the way the pop of colour helps the gold colours really standout and at the same time compliments the monochromatic accessories. Adding a touch of greenery with a living plant will not only help with cleaning your rooms air, but it will add that freshness we all need at this time of year.

For more on 42Juice head over to their beautiful website HERE, or pop into one of their stunning juice bars (full of interiors inspiration as well as healthy goodness) & receive 10% off cleanse packages throughout January with code CLEAN16.. let us know how you get on!

question: What is the general principle of a juice detox, and how is it done best?

answer: The best way to detox your body is to cut out all toxins (/eating) for a couple of days and only drink a liquid diet. The idea is to flush all the toxins out of your system and give your digestive system a break. Since a juice detox forgoes solid foods, it means that you also cut out caffeine and alcohol. This is also a great way to reset your digestive system and only put healthy foods back in your body.

critique: The answer should mention the "roller coaster" experience of a juice detox.

question: What does the article say about how a juice detox fits into general dieting?

answer: The article doesn't use the word "dieting." Instead, it discusses how a cleanse might be part of correcting a routinely bad diet. Can be healthier, be the most positive effect of the cleanse. There are different ways to have a cleanse, with 1 being to drink mostly liquids in the form of juices, etc.

critique: The article does not discuss how a cleanse might be part of correcting a routinely bad diet.

critique: The article doesn't mention "routinely bad diet" or "the most positive effect."

critique: The article doesn't mention that a juice detox can be part of correcting a routinely bad diet.

critique: The article doesn't use the word "dieting." Instead, it discusses how a cleanse might be part of correcting a routinely bad diet. Can be healthier, be the most positive effect of the cleanse. There are different ways to have a cleanse, with 1 being to drink mostly liquids in the form of juices, etc.

critique: The article doesn't discuss the effects of a cleanse on a routinely bad diet.

critique: The answer should also mention how one can start a diet.

critique: The article doesn't talk about "correcting a routinely bad diet."


text:
The hospital has cream white walls, and I can almost hear the buzz of the florescent lights overhead. My old man walks beside me, talking casually of what's to come in the coming week. I am quiet and grave and I'm holding a vanilla birthday cake in my arms, a cheery "Happy Brithday!" written across it in red icing, a stark contrast to my heavy heart. We stand in the relative silence of the elevator as it hummed inexorably to the fifth floor, the Alzheimer's ward. The elevator dings and the doors open reluctantly, like the elevator doors, I step into the waiting area, a posse of nurses sitting behind an island of desks sitting outside the heavy doors that opened to the ward proper. They don't even bother to look up as we pass by. A TV flickers in a corner soundlessly, the weather report playing endlessly, over and over. It's a sunny, beautiful summer day and yet I cannot bring myself to bask in the radiant rays of the sun in a city that see's entirely too much winter.

We step into the Alzheimer's ward and I am greeted with the familiar smell of stale piss, shit and Ammonia. Nurses and orderlies walk the hallways in their scrubs, but mostly its the elderly, staring, uncomprehending and distant, like a child lost in a department store. Some will smile as we approach, only to let it slip away when they realize they don't know who we are. They don't know who they are. They'll stare at anything, at the floor, out a window, not seeing anything in particular as they struggle; living half in the present, half in the past, and sometimes, barely at all. Universally, they all seem to wear a sad expression, as though they know their is something wrong and can't quite put their finger on it. It's unsettling to see on their wizened faces, that probably once smiled with joy at their children and grand children, only to have their remaining years snatched from their fingers. My stomach twists and dread fills me as we approach my grandfather's room.

we check my grandfather's room but he's not there, we ask a nurse and he  point us in the right direction. The very end of that long hall, in a big, aptly named sun room. So named for the big windows that opened up to the streets below and allowed the last dying rays of a setting sun to cast over the buildings, brightening this place, making it somewhat less depressing than the rest of the wing, which is drab and dark. We find him there, eyes closed and chin slumped against his chest. He wakes, however, when we approach, though there is no hint of recognition in his eyes.

"Hi dad!" my father says with a pretense of  jovialness that I know isn't genuine. I've never been good at expressing what I don't feel, so I say nothing. Instead, I pull out a chair and look at the table my grandfather is sitting at, putting the cake down on it. My dad tries to make small talk for a while, and my grandfather seems to have some sort of vague, fleeting recognition of his son. He grunts in response. He can't talk well anymore. Nor can he shave, and its hard for me to see him with the rash of gray and white stubble that now covered his chin and neck. He had been a military man, given to organization and discipline, not a day had gone by that he did not shave. I wanted to cry, to rage, to scream, to rail against the injustice of life. I rarely visit.

He's getting worse day by day, he's hardly aware of his surroundings now, at least he's past the point of knowing what's happening to him; He doesn't need to suffer the indignation's, I know, that if he could see himself like this, he wouldn't have wanted to live at all. At least that's what we tell ourselves, it's the only salvation from a biting depression that weighs on your shoulders and threatens to break the supports beneath you. That, and finding a dark humour in his forgetfulness to laugh in the face of a prolonged death to bring some kind of light to an otherwise vacuous, dark pit. It's hard to find such closure though, when you think of a man who gave his childhood to fight in two wars, to live and survive only to have his remaining years snatched from his fingers too early, this farce of a life is hardly living and seeing the shell of my grandfather brings only sadness and pain.

He was a strong man, even when he turned 80 he held so much power in his hands. He was an emotional anchor, a man's man, and I always admired him greatly. I could never express these feelings, I didn't know how. When I realized I should, it was too late, and I can only hope that he knew what I felt before he was taken from us before he even died. He was a soldier, and sometimes he acts as though he's still in World War II, asking if I am off to the front lines, his eyes looking at my shaved head critically as if inspecting to see if each hair was the same length as all the others. I hold back tears that make my eyes look like broken glass; I haven't cried in so long, I'm not about to start now. I can't bring myself to cry, it doesn't seem right, knowing that I'm mourning a death that hasn't occurred yet, not physically anyway. But the man I called grandpa is no longer living within him, that crucial piece that makes him who he is has ceased to exist.

Sometimes, I need a reminder to know that I am still capable of feeling, I shut the feelings out when they threaten to overwhelm, become numb, it's the only way I can make it through the days taking one step after another knowing each step is a step towards death. Every moment is fleeting. Every moment building upon the last in a journey that can only end one way. When I look at my grandfather as he sits there, his head slumped, drool forming at the corner of his mouth, the sharpness in my chest and the tears I can't wipe away remind me just how deep feelings can run.

In the end, we left my grandfather as we had found him. The cake, left uneaten and unopened remains on the desk as we walk away. It was the last time I saw him.

title: For Grampa; The Last Visit

question: Summarize the conditions of the narrator's grandfather.

answer: The conditions seem to be that he has Alzheimer's as well as another health condition, which is why he can't eat the cake.

critique: The narrator doesn't mention that the grandfather has another health condition.

critique: The narrator's grandfather has Alzheimer's, but the narrator doesn't know what other condition he has.

critique: It should also be added that the grandfather cannot speak well.

critique: The narrator mentions that his grandfather can't eat the cake, but he doesn't have another health condition.

critique: The narrator's grandfather has Alzheimer's, but the narrator doesn't know what other health condition he has.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator's grandfather is unable to talk and has a beard of stubble.

critique: The narrator's grandfather has Alzheimer's, but it is not stated that he also has another health condition.

critique: The narrator's grandfather has Alzheimer's, but it is not stated that he has another health condition.

question: Summarize how the narrator consoles himself when thinking about his grandfather.

answer: The narrator consoles himself by thinking of his grandfather as a strong man and soldier. He thinks of his grandfather as a man's man and an emotional anchor. The narrator consoles himself by reminding himself that he is still capable of feeling.

critique: "The narrator consoles himself" is overgeneralized and the specific things the narrator thinks of is omitted.

critique: The narrator consoles himself by thinking of his grandfather as a strong man and soldier. He thinks of his grandfather as a man's man and an emotional anchor. The narrator consoles himself by reminding himself that he is still capable of feeling.

critique: The narrator consoles himself by finding dark humor in his grandfather's forgetfulness.

critique: The narrator consoles himself by reminding himself that he is still capable of feeling.

question: How will the death of his grandfather affect the narrator?

answer: The narrator will be sad and miss his grandfather.

critique: It misses to mention that the narrator is also depressed.

critique: The narrator is already sad and misses his grandfather.

critique: The narrator seems resigned and resigned about the death of his grandfather.

critique: The narrator will also miss his grandfather's presence.

critique: The narrator will be sad and miss his grandfather, but he will also be angry and feel that his grandfather's life was wasted.

critique: The narrator is already sad and missing his grandfather.


text:
I traveled around the world to browse underground markets to buy and sell rare animals and mystical creatures. I currently held two in my inventory - a miniature giraffe and a gnome. I was also well known among the wealthy as I would help them buy these breathing gems for them to keep as pets.

My current trip had one purpose - to negotiate a deal to purchase a young elephant for the Kardashian family. This elephant was special. At 5 feet tall, it had trunks for each leg, making it look more like an octopus on land. In a pool house in Beverly Hills, I sat across the owner of the elephant, arguing over terms of the sale. The fat Kardashian then barged in in a panic, crying her eyes out because her boyfriend, Russell Brand, had been kidnapped. I didn't care, but was pissed that it got in the way of my deal. Hoping it would help my commission, I volunteered to help find Russell. Then, there I was, driving their Hummer all over L.A.

We stopped at a gas station. I insisted to pump gas while they all went inside. Suddenly, a red truck sped through the station and, from the bed, two men in black ski masks tossed over a 4' by 4' metal plate, engraved in Arabic, and peeled out. As soon as the smoke from their exhaust cleared everyone began to slowly crowd the mysterious plate. The middle eastern cashier shoved through the crowd and fixed his glasses as he read it. He translated it for us.

"We have your infidel. We will not negotiate or return him to you. There's no amount of money that will buy away the pleasure of watching him suffer."

The police came and an investigative team drove the the Kardashian family to their headquarters while I stayed behind, realizing I had no idea where I was at this remote gas station. Dusk was approaching, and across a mesquite field I could see a square building with an empty parking lot which lights were just turned on.

I don't know how or why I was lured into it, but as I approached the building, I just knew it was a museum about Islamic expansion. I entered and was greeted by the curator, an old Arab man. He guided me through his many exhibits, standing before each one as he further explained how Islam was the seed of western civilization. He then led me into a wing where they dealt with those that defiled the name of the Prophet. I cannot rationalize why I kept walking along without fear for my safety, but I followed anyway.

I was in awe. There were flat screens along walls with crowds of 4 or 5 young students in lab coats in front of each one, alternating their heads between tilting them upward to listen and downward to turn the pages in the pad they were writing copiously in. I pardoned myself from the curator and stood behind one crowd to watch what they were learning. The video showed how starved, naked women are skinned. It was a controlled and relaxed demonstration, starting with hanging them upside down, cleanly severing their jugular and draining them of their blood. The demonstrator calmly explained that doing this would avoid bruising and helped preserve their skin color. He would then dislocate her jaw, force his arm half-forearm-deep into her throat, and jerked it out with intestines following behind. After removing the rest of her organs, they'd remove the skin and muscle from the bones. The students looked on with a fixed curious gaze, devoid of any sympathy, jotting their notes.

This wing was full of such demonstrations, displays of devices, history of techniques, and so on. I joined the curator again and kept walking along and noticed that tourists were starting to walk in, curiously looking around as if what they were seeing weren't human beings in utter pain.

As the Arab curator explained the mechanics of one of the devices he invented, his face was interrupted by his own excitement as he just remembered that his latest technique would be demonstrated live that evening. It would be the first time a human spider would be created. Inspired by 'The Human Centipede,' he wanted to push the envelope by creating a beast: to one torso as the centerpiece (arms and head attached), he'd attach two hips on each side, with legs attached, knees bent upward. The head and arms would still function and the nervous systems of all five bodies would be merged. He asked if I wanted to see who had been chosen to be the center piece and, entranced by all of this, I agreed.

He then lead me into a dark room that I later realized was a stable. He turned the light on to shine on a scrawny man clothed only in hay. It was Russell Brand. Russell awakened and rushed to the bars of the door, reaching his arm through them towards me, beginning me to let him out. If only he knew the monster he was doomed to become. The human inside me knew that he needed to be saved, but the money-driven rare animal trader inside drooled at the idea of how much a Human Spider would be worth in the market. I sighed and smiled, patted the old curator on the back and said, "I'd love to stay and observe the demonstration." Russell's eyes teared up as he watched what he thought was a sensible human being turn into an idle observer of his impending transformation.

We walked away, back into the torture wing of the museum and it was now filled with more lay tourists. As the tourists noticed the curator was present, they welcomed him with cheers and applause. He politely excused himself from me and like a celebrity he was welcomed into the crowd with pats and handshakes. They were in love with him. Two white elderly women, with rosaries around their necks, begged him to be part of his experiments. He quickly yanked the rosaries from their necks and stood coldly in front of them, offended. The crowd was silenced. The women turned towards each other and started to giggle which later broke out into laughter. They fell onto their knees and began to undress themselves, still giddy and laughing. The curator reached into one of his displays and took out an antique knife. He held it above his head and rotated in place to be sure the audience could see what he had chosen. The women excitedly stretched out their throats, almost eager for the legend to slash their necks, as if it was an autograph. They still giggled while gurgling on their blood after receiving his autograph. As the gurgling and the sound of naked flesh slapping the cold tiles of their jerking arms subsided, the crowd erupted in cheer and elation.

title: The Human Spider - a dreamer's account

question: Summarize the tension in the story.

answer: The tension in the story is between the narrator's desire to make money and his desire to help the Kardashians. His desire to help the Kardashians is complicated by his desire to make money.

critique: "His desire to help the Kardashians is complicated by his desire to make money." This sentence is confusing and should be re-written.

critique: The tension is between the narrator's desire to make money and his desire to help the Kardashians.

critique: The tension is between the narrator's desire to save Russell and his desire to make money.

critique: The tension is between the narrator's desire to make money and his desire to help the Kardashians. His desire to help the Kardashians is complicated by his desire to make money.

critique: The tension is not between the narrator's desire to make money and his desire to help the Kardashians. The tension is between the narrator's desire to make money and his desire to help Russell Brand.

question: Summarize the main theme of this story.

answer: The theme of this story is that money can corrupt anyone. The human spider is a metaphor for the human condition, whereby people are corrupted by greed and a desire for materialism. The human spider is a metaphor for the monster we all have in us, and how easy it is to be corrupted and forget about the moral high ground.

critique: The theme of the story is not the human condition, but rather the human condition as it pertains to the story.

critique: The answer gives a clearly stated theme in, 'it's possible to do fewer words..

critique: The human spider is a metaphor for the monster we all have in us, and how easy it is to be corrupted and forget about the moral high ground. is unnecessary.

critique: "The human spider is a metaphor for the monster we all have in us, and how easy it is to be corrupted and forget about the moral high ground." - this is irrelevant and should be removed.

critique: The human spider is not a metaphor for the human condition.

question: Summarize what factors in real life could have motivated the Islamic/Arab parts of this dream.

answer: The author is not named, and it is not stated whether they are male or female. They are in their twenties, and they are a rare animal dealer. They have the job of buying and selling rare animals and mystical creatures. They have two in their inventory: a miniature giraffe and a gnome. They are currently in negotiations to buy an elephant for the Kardashian family. The author is not named, and it is not stated whether they are male or female. They are in their twenties, and they are a rare animal dealer. They have the job of buying and selling rare animals and mystical creatures. They have two in their inventory: a miniature giraffe and a gnome. They are currently in negotiations to buy an elephant for the Kardashian family.

critique: The author's age and gender are irrelevant.

critique: The author's age, name, and gender are not relevant.

critique: The author is not named, and it is not stated whether they are male or female. They are in their twenties, and they are a rare animal dealer. They have the job of buying and selling rare animals and mystical creatures. They have two in their inventory: a miniature giraffe and a gnome. They are currently in negotiations to buy an elephant for the Kardashian family. The author is not named, and it is not stated whether they are male or female. They are in their twenties, and they are a rare animal dealer. They have the job of buying and selling rare animals and mystical creatures. They have two in their inventory: a miniature giraffe and a gnome. They are currently in negotiations to buy an elephant for the Kardashian family.

critique: Clumsy sentence structure. Awkward wording.

question: Is this dream mostly positive or negative? Explain your answer.

answer: The dream is mostly negative, as the narrator is shown to be greedy, heartless, and willing to hurt people for his own gain.

critique: The narrator is not shown to be heartless.

critique: The narrator is not shown to be heartless or willing to hurt people for his own gain.

critique: It's more that the presentation of events as he walks through the museum is rich in shocking depictions of violence/cruelty--rendering it negative. The narrator himself, at the story's end, questions his own motives in being so-indifferent to Russell, who is about to be a human spider.

critique: The narrator isn't shown to be greedy, heartless, and willing to hurt people for his own gain. He's shown to be greedy, heartless, and willing to hurt people for his own gain.


text:
RATNAKARAVARNI was a 16th-century Kannada poet and writer.[1] He is considered to be one of the trailblazers in the native _shatpadi_ (hexa-metre, six line verse) and _sangatya_ (composition meant to be sung to the accompaniment of musical instrument) metric tradition that was popularised in Kannada literature during the rule of the Vijayanagara empire in modern Karnataka. His most famous writing is the story of the Jain prince Bharata and is called the _Bharatesha Vaibhava_ (or _Bharatesvara Charite_). Known to be a troubled and restless person, tradition has it that Ratnakaravarni converted from his religion Jainism to Veerashaivism when a less-meritorious poet superseded him. During this brief time, he wrote the _Basavapurana_, a biography of the 12th century social reformer Basavanna. Later, he returned to the Jain religion and penned classics in the _shataka_ metre (string of 100 verses).[2][3] His contributions to Kannada literature are considered trend setting.

Life and works

Ratnakaravarni of Mudabidri (c. 1557) was a court poet under the patronage of Bhairasa Wodeyar at Karkala, modern coastal Karnataka, and is famous for successfully integrating an element of worldly pleasure into asceticism and for treating the topic of erotics with discretion in a religious epic, his _magnum opus_, the _Bharatesha Vaibhava_.[4] One of the most popular poets of Kannada literature, his writings took to a fine line between the royal court and conservative monastery. His writings were popular across religions and sects for their secular appeal. In fact, an early 19th-century writing recognises him as an authority on erotics and the science of pleasure, rather than a poet with a spiritual bent.[5] A radical and sensitive poet, he once claimed that spiritual meditation “was boring”. Tradition has it that Ratnakaravarni converted to Veerashaivism when his _magnum opus_ was initially scorned at (after a poet called Ravikirthi objected to a few verses in it) only to return to the Jain fold and pen other important writings.[6] Written in epic proportions, the _Bharatesha Vaibhava_ is in eighty cantos and runs into 10,000 verses. His other important writings are the 2,000 spiritual songs called _Annagalapada_ (“Songs of the Brothers”) and three _shatakas_: the _Ratnakara sataka_, the _Aparajitesvara shataka_, a discourse on Jain morals, renunciation and philosophy and the _Trilokya shataka_, an account of the universe as seen by Jains, consisting of heaven, hell and the intermediate worlds .[7][8][9][10]

Magnum opus

_Bharatesha Vaibhava_ is a version of the earlier _Poorvapurana_ by Jinasenacharya and brings out a different perspective compared to the _Adipurana_ written by Adikavi Pampa in c.941. Centered on the glorification of the enlightened Bharata, the son of the first Jain Tirthankar Adinatha, Ratnakaravarni cleverly focusses on those aspects that the original by Pampa ignored.[11] Ratnakaravarni goes into minute details about prince Bharata, who according to the author serves as the ideal balance between detachment (_yoga_) and attachment (_bhoga_). Though married to “96,000 women”, Bharata is depicted as one who at once can separate himself from worldly pleasures. Unlike Pampa who focussed on the conflict between the brothers, Bahubali and Bharata, ending with Bahubali's asceticism and Bharata's humiliation, Ratnakaravarni's eulogy of Bharata leaves room only for Bahubali's evolution towards sainthood. Eventually, Bharata attains _moksha_ by burning himself in ascetic fire.[12] The author showers encomium on Bharata in his various roles as a monarch, husband, son, friend and a devotee, a rare description of a “perfect human being” among Jain writings. Since details of the early life of Bharata as a young ruler did not exist in previous writings or in tradition, much of Ratnakaravarni's vivid description of that period was a product of his imagination. This work finds its pride of place in Kannada's epic poetry for being the lengthiest poem in the folk _sangatya_ metre.[13]

Notes

[1] Narasimhacharya (1988), p. 23

[2] Shiva Prakash (1997), p. 210

[3]

[4] Nagaraj in Pollock (2003), p. 373

[5] Nagaraj in Pollock (2003), pp. 374–375, 377

[6] Nagaraj in Pollock (2003), p. 376

[7]

[8]

[9] Mukherjee (1999), p. 328

[10] Rice E.P. (1921), p. 47

[11] Shiva Prakash (1997), p. 211

[12]

[13] Sahitya Akademi (1987), pp. 453–454

title: Ratnakaravarni

question: What was considered unique about Ratnakaravarni of Mudabidri's works?

answer: Ratnakaravarni of Mudabidri's works were considered unique because he successfully integrated an element of worldly pleasure into asceticism and treated the topic of erotics with discretion in a religious epic.

critique: The answer should mention that he was considered an authority on erotics and the science of pleasure.

critique: The answer omits Ratnakaravarni's contributions to Kannada literature.

critique: "an element of worldly pleasure" - this is inaccurate. It was only one of Ratnakaravarni's unique characteristics.

critique: The answer omits that Ratnakaravarni's works were considered unique because they were popular across religions and sects for their secular appeal.

critique: It is omitted that Ratnakaravarni is also a popular poet across religions and sects for his secular appeal.

critique: The sentence is made confusing by the participial phrase used to describe ' integrating an element of worldly pleasure into asceticism.'

critique: The answer should mention the popularity of Ratnakaravarni's works across religions and sects.

critique: The answer should mention that he treated the topic of erotics with discretion in a religious epic.


text:
Friday, June 24, 2016 by Elizabeth Pagano

__ Austin

Downtown visitors and residents will no longer have to rely on street smarts or commerce to find relief in that area of town. On Thursday, City Council approved a resolution that will usher in the city’s first public restrooms, though they will be temporary for the time being.

The resolution, which will lead to two temporary facilities downtown, passed in a vote of 8-2-1, with Council members Don Zimmerman and Ellen Troxclair voting in opposition and Council Member Sheri Gallo abstaining.

Zimmerman made it clear that the plans for the test toilets were a bit too grandiose for his tastes. He made an unsupported motion to reduce the number of restroom facilities from two to one. He also expressed disbelief at the cost of the program — $272,000 total for a year’s worth of rental costs, cleaning and an attendant.

“The toilet is going to be staffed?” asked Zimmerman. He was told that yes, that would be the case.

Mayor Pro Tem Kathie Tovo vigorously defended the temporary model, which will allow the city to test different locations around town before committing to what will ultimately be a permanent public bathroom downtown.

Gallo inquired whether the city had asked the Downtown Austin Alliance to pay for the cost of the restrooms, saying she was a “proponent of looking for partners to help fund” programs. She pointed out that the DAA does collect fees from downtown residents and said she would be uncomfortable with the city funding the program until that alternative was investigated. Gallo also suggested that the city could use hotel occupancy taxes to fund the facilities but was told that the program would not qualify for use of those funds.

“It’s a good idea. But I don’t know, necessarily, whether it’s a city responsibility,” said Gallo. “I support the idea, I just think the funding source should be considered.”

In response, Tovo noted that this was the second resolution on the topic but the first time the funding suggestion had been made. She said that it was not in the DAA budget and, moreover, that it was entirely appropriate for the city to fund the program.

“It has become a public health issue in the downtown area. It is impacting the quality of the water in our creeks. It is impacting the quality of the experience our visitors are speaking about when they come to the city of Austin,” said Tovo. “And I would argue it is not just a matter of public health, it is one of human dignity. Unfortunately, we have individuals who are living on the streets of our downtown, and they have no options other than to relieve themselves on the streets of our downtown.”

Council Member Ora Houston pointed out that the issue also extended to the elderly as well as downtown visitors who have children.

Tovo said that she would support future discussion about funding options for the permanent facilities, which will be modeled after the Portland Loo program in Oregon.

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Key Players & Topics In This Article

AUSTIN CITY COUNCIL: The Austin City Council is the body with legislative purview over the City of Austin. It offers policy direction, while the office of the City Manager implements administrative actions based on those policies. Until 2012, the body contained seven members, including the city's Mayor, all elected at-large. In 2012, City of Austin residents voted to change that system and now 10 members of the Council are elected based on geographic districts. The Mayor continues to be elected at-large.

CENTRAL BUSINESS DISTRICT: A zoning designation that describes the business district of downtown Austin.

HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES DEPARTMENT: This city department promotes community health through programs like WIC, maternal and child health, birth and death certificates, restaurant inspections, and grants administration.

question: What did city council approve in Austin, Texas?

answer: The city council approved a resolution that will usher in the city's first public restrooms.

critique: The answer should include the fact that the restrooms are temporary.

critique: The answer should mention that the restrooms are temporary.

question: Why did Zimmerman vote to oppose the two test rest areas?

answer: He was asked to vote to reduce the number of test rest areas to one. He thought the cost was too high.

critique: The answer should mention that he also thought the plan was too grandiose.

critique: This is a very good answer, but it is important to note that "test rest areas" is a bit of a misnomer. The vote was for two "test toilets" which is a bit different.

critique: Zimmerman's vote was against the two test rest areas, not for reducing the number of test rest areas to one.

critique: Zimmerman's vote to reduce the number of test rest areas to one is irrelevant to the question.

text: The answer inaccurately mentions that Zimmerman was asked to vote.

question: What were Gallo's grounds for abstaining?

answer: Gallo was a proponent of looking for partners to help fund the program. She thought it was a city responsibility to fund the program.

critique: She said it was a city responsibility to fund the program, but she was also a proponent of looking for partners to help fund the program.

text: The answer inaccurately mentions that Gallo thought it was a city responsibility to fund the program. She didn't think it was the city's responsibility.

question: What was Mayor Pro Tem Kathie Tovo's argument in defense of the motion?

answer: She said that the public restrooms are needed to address a public health problem, and that they are a matter of human dignity.

critique: The answer should mention the public health issue.

critique: The answer should mention the specific public health problem.

critique: It is omitted that the restrooms will also be tested in different locations around town before committing to a permanent location.


text:
Beloved by advertisers of all stripes, content marketing has emerged as one of the most effective ways to build a brand's voice, establish trusting relationships with customers, and rank well in online search. And if you're an entrepreneur or you work in the digital space, then you're probably sick to death of hearing about it.

But it's important to learn as much as you can about content marketing if you're trying to grow a business, and here's why: In spite of the name, you can't reap content marketing's benefits simply by churning out content. To really benefit from this marketing strategy, you need to do it right--and that means avoiding classic mistakes like the ones described below.

1. Guessing about your audience instead of getting to know them.

It's not enough to assume you know what your audience is interested in or that if something is interesting to you, then it will also engage your audience. Instead, it's crucial to conduct customer research to understand the needs, wants, concerns, preferred content platforms, and buying triggers of the people you're trying to reach.

Using tools such as Google Trends and Google Keyword Planner is a good place to start; even better if you're able to connect directly with your customers via email surveys or personal interviews. Developing a comprehensive customer avatar is a goldmine when it comes to crafting content that resonates with your target audience.

2. Not allotting enough time for title generation.

This is one of the easiest traps to fall into. You've dedicated hours upon hours to crafting a piece of content, and your brain is pretty fried. So you slap a relevant-enough title on the copy and call it a day.

But here's the rub: Your content's headline is just as important (and perhaps even more so) than all of the body copy combined. That's because a lot of people may read the title--but significantly fewer people are going to click into the content and read it from start to finish if the title doesn't draw them in.

A good rule of thumb is to allocate around half as much time for generating a great title as it took you to write the piece. If that sounds like a ludicrous amount of time, that's a good sign that you need to devote more attention to titling.

3. Emphasizing quantity over quality.

This one's also easy to do: You get so caught up in generating SEO-optimized content (and lots of it) that you start designing your content around keywords instead of focusing on providing high-quality information to your target audience. This can backfire in a number of ways.

For starters, Google's algorithms increasingly prioritize high-quality content over copy that's stuffed with key words. Additionally, churning out low-quality content is going to degrade your audience's trust, thereby diminishing your content's conversions over time.

That's why it's critical to make sure all the content you publish is unique, accurate, and truly useful for your target audience. For examples, check out the blogs on Moz, SnoringHQ, and LushCosmetics and the video tutorials on BirchBox.

What each of these demonstrates is that content doesn't necessarily need to be jam-packed with fancy graphics and visuals (although it can be)--and you don't need to update your blog six times a day. What matters most is delivering information that is truly relevant and helpful to your specific audience. (Again, this is where it pays to really understand your customers.)

4. Failing to market your content.

The highest quality content in the world is unlikely to gain traction if you don't put as much (if not more) effort into marketing your content as you put into creating it in the first place.

That means leveraging strategies such as social media marketing, influencer shares, AdWords campaigns, email marketing, and native advertising. While you should be deliberate about the platforms you choose, odds are good that any marketing is better than none.

Not tracking your results.

You'll be much better equipped to make informed choices about how to market your content if you know which types of content resonate with our audience, which platforms generate the most attention for your content, and so on.

While it may feel tedious, tracking analytics such as click-through rates, unique visitors, time on page, bounce rate, and conversions--and then analyzing that data on a regular basis--is critical for learning what works (and what doesn't) and refining your marketing strategy over time.

Content marketing is not, in itself, a miracle cure for a struggling business. But it can be a great way to establish your brand and present your business as a trusted, helpful "friend" to your target customers. Avoid these common content marketing mistakes, and you'll be well on your way to developing content that effectively markets your business.

question: Summarize everything relating to getting to know your audience.

answer: To really benefit from content marketing, you need to understand the needs, wants, concerns, preferred content platforms and buying triggers of your target audience. Dedicate time to understanding your customers. Developing a comprehensive customer avatar is a goldmine when it comes to crafting content that resonates with your audience.

critique: Instead of 'Dedicate time to understanding your customers.' you can write 'Dedicate time to customer research'

critique: The answer should mention the tools that can be used to get to know your audience.

critique: The answer should mention the tools used to get to know your audience.

critique: "Dedicate time" is a bit vague, so add that you should use customer research tools to understand your audience.

critique: The answer omits the importance of actually getting to know your audience.

critique: The answer should mention how to get to know your audience.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of getting to know your audience.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of customer research.

question: What does the article say about title generation?

answer: The article states that it is very important to allocate enough time for title generation. Title is as important or even more so than the body copy. A good rule of thumb is to allocate half as much time for generating a great title as it took to write the piece.

critique: The answer is too short. It should include the purpose of the article.

critique: It is omitted that the article states that it is very important to allocate enough time for title generation.

critique: I would delete the word "halve" and "as" here to make it flow.

critique: The answer should mention that the article gives some tips for title generation.

critique: The answer should mention that the article recommends using tools like Google Trends and Google Keyword Planner.

critique: The answer should mention that the article gives advice on how to generate good titles.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

question: What does the article say about quality?

answer: The article stresses the importance of quality over quantity. High-quality content is prioritized by Google. Churning out low-quality content will degrade your audience's trust. The article even shares the blogs of Moz, SnoringHQ, and LushCosmetics as examples of high-quality content.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of quality titles.

critique: The article also shares the video tutorials as examples.

critique: The article doesn't share the blogs of Moz, SnoringHQ, and LushCosmetics as examples of high-quality content. It says they are great examples of high-quality content, but it doesn't share them.

critique: The article doesn't share the blogs of Moz, SnoringHQ, and LushCosmetics as examples of high-quality content.

critique: The article also mentions the importance of quality to professional marketers and that content doesn't need to be packed with fancy graphics and visuals to be high quality.

critique: The article does not mention Moz, SnoringHQ, or LushCosmetics.

text: It is omitted that it's critical to make sure all the content you publish is unique, accurate, and truly useful for your target audience.

category: coverage

question: What does the article say about failing to market your content?

answer: The author says that failing to market your content is going to be a huge mistake. Content needs to be marketed, and marketing it requires a lot of time and effort. Failing to track your results is also going to be a mistake that you should avoid.

critique: The answer should mention the platforms that can be used for marketing.

critique: It's omitted that one should market their content on social media, influencer shares, AdWords campaigns, email marketing, and native advertising.

critique: The answer omits the specific methods for marketing content.

critique: The answer should mention what the article says about marketing content.

critique: The answer should mention the platforms that the author suggests.

critique: The article doesn't say failing to market your content is going to be a huge mistake. The sentence should be removed.

critique: The article doesn't say that failing to market your content is going to be a huge mistake. It says that failing to market your content is a mistake.

critique: The author says that failing to market your content is going to be a huge mistake. Content needs to be marketed, and marketing it requires a lot of time and effort.


text:
I felt the metal shift as I turned my key in the lock, swinging open the wooden door to a hallway and a stairwell. Her scarf still adorned the bannister and the pair of black heels were still by the door, the ones she wore when we went to that run-down club and drowned our post-exam sorrows in multiple glasses of whiskey. The lights in the hallway and kitchen were still on, lighting the various ornamental pieces littered across the walls, the small stain of red wine from our house-warming party seemed eerily bright, but everything did through my hazy eyes.

The kitchen itself was littered with last night's half eaten meal for one and an empty mug. Flies were feasting on it now. I disposed of the insect's buffet and poured myself a glass of scotch, the ice clanging against the sides of the glass as I strolled out into the cold night air of the garden. Her lighter was on the bench beside the empty ashtray. The light from the flame burned my eyes and the smoke from the cigarette made them water. I played with the lighter, flicking it from hand to hand and rolling it along my fingers, before placing back beside the ashtray where I would leave it until I deemed it time to dispose of it. There were still marks in the lawn where we had set up a small tent a few weeks earlier for a spontaneous 'camping trip' as neither of us had a car.

I had to wash the bedsheets. The ginger hairs that littered them turned my stomach, each sip of whiskey turning it even further. I vomited. As the cold water from the tap splashed my face I felt no more awake and no less sick, the rings of black around my bloodshot eyes made me look ugly. She wouldn't have thought so. I traced my finger over one of the pictures of us with our old university house-mates, nostalgia is a powerful emotion and it felt like so much longer than a year since we had all gone our separate ways. I took the photo from its frame and kissed her image. Nothing but a memoir now. I felt the bile rise once more, the vile mass of acid devoid of any substance scorched my throat and I gagged slightly before forcing it back into the bubbling depths. Her blue eyes still pierced my soul, even through a photograph. I'd never see them again.

Back to my reflection, this time the icy cold was on my wrists and was soon replaced with a comforting warmth, my mouth curved into something resembling a smile as my eyes grew heavy and I slumped back onto the cool tiles of the floor. I was weak. She'd be so disappointed. I dreamed of her. Being forced oxygen through a mask, her freckles darker against the growing paleness of her skin, the muffled sobs of her mother, and the heat fading from her fingers entwined with mine. I dreamed of the world-shattering shriek of the machine and awoke to a dull ringing that seemed to echo around my skull. Three AM. Who rings at three AM?

“Hello?” Is what I meant to say by my throat was far to dry.

“Hello, Mr Harper, we have assessed your application and a technician shall be with you shortly” The voice was strangely calming.

“Who is this?”
“This is Claire from BLS, you contacted us an hour ago.”

“BLS?”

“Better life solutions, sir. Thank you for your custom.”

The dial tone rang, and sleep took me almost instantly. My eyes crept open at seven AM, although, the previous day's fatigue had yet to release its grip on me. My hand slipped on something sticky, blood marked the once white tiles, on my wrist lay a single white scar. Trudging to the bedroom I noticed the faint reflections of my bewildered face on each clear glass surface of the now empty frames, almost as if they were mocking me. That was the first time I cried. I couldn't tell you why, I could get more photos, most of them were from Facebook anyway, but something about the emptiness of what once brought me such joy hit me hard. As I knelt on the once cream carpet, now stained with my blood, the phone rang once more.

“We are sorry you aren't satisfied with our work, we will send out another technician shortly.” Dial tone.

The day consisted of condolences from co-workers I didn't recognise, hugs from people who I'd never given as much as a handshake and a boss that would sooner fire you than have you turn up late telling me I can take time off if I need it. False pity sickens me.The ticking of the clock seemed to grow louder with each passing second, the teeth inside my mouth found each other and clung tightly to their counterparts and my hands vibrated as I pounded the keys, confined to the blinding white walls of my minimum-wage hell. My now tepid coffee tasted almost metallic in my mouth. The voices of co-workers now drowned out the incessant clamouring of the clock. Closing time.

 I felt the metal shift as I turned my key in the lock, swinging open the wooden door to a hallway and a stairwell. Her scarf no longer adorned the banister and the pair of black heels had been moved. I was lost in oceans as I looked into her eyes, filled with love and compassion, filled with memories and history, filled with life.
“Had a nice day at work sweetheart?”
I vomited again.

title: [SF/HR] Better Life Solutions.

question: Summarize the narrator's memories of the woman.

answer: The narrator's memories of the woman are mostly of her looking happy or laughing. They remember her blue eyes, her freckles, her ginger hair, and her expression of love and compassion. They also mention their memories of her smiling.

critique: The narrator's memories of the woman are not of her looking happy or laughing.

critique: Grammatical error. Narrator's name is the same as the author of the story, Mr. Harper.

critique: The narrator's memories of the woman are not all happy.

critique: The narrator's memories of the woman are not only of her looking happy or laughing. They remember her blue eyes, her freckles, her ginger hair, and her expression of love and compassion. They also mention their memories of her smiling.

critique: The narrator only sees her in a photograph.

critique: The narrator's memories of the woman are mostly of her looking happy or laughing. They remember her blue eyes, her freckles, her ginger hair, and her expression of love and compassion. They also mention their memories of her smiling.

critique: The narrator's memories of the woman are not just of her looking happy or laughing.

text: The narrator is Mr. Harper, clearly a male. Using singular they are not appropriate.

question: Summarize the things that make the narrator vomit.

answer: The ginger hairs that were on the sheets and recalled their break-up make the narrator sick. The narrator vomits again when he sees his dead girlfriend's eyes in his reflection.

critique: The narrator vomits when he sees his dead girlfriend's eyes in his reflection.

critique: The narrator doesn't vomit when he sees his dead girlfriend's eyes in his reflection. He vomits when he sees his girlfriend's eyes in his reflection.

critique: Add a third thing that makes the narrator vomit.

critique: The narrator's reflection is not what makes him sick. He vomits again after he sees his dead girlfriend's eyes.

critique: The answer misses to mention the narrator vomiting from the sight of his dead girlfriend's stuff.

text: They didn't break up. She died.

question: Summarize what the narrator seems to do to cope with their loss.

answer: The narrator seems to cope with their loss by drinking. They drink whiskey and vomit. They also seem to be coping by sleeping.

critique: The narrator is drinking to cope with the loss of his girlfriend.

critique: The narrator also seems to be coping by talking to Claire from BLS.

critique: The narrator is drinking to cope with the loss of his girlfriend, but he also seems to be coping with his loss by drinking, as he vomits after drinking.

critique: The narrator also seems to cope by talking to the BLS.

critique: The narrator doesn't seem to drink anymore.

critique: The narrator does not seem to be coping with the loss.

question: What does the text say about forgiveness?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story is not about forgiveness.

critique: The response misses to provide an answer to the instruction in the task.


text:
Nerd: an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a nonsocial hobby or pursuit
	My place among the nerds was and has never really been defined; I’ve just always felt that I was one. It probably stemmed from the weird person I was in middle school who nobody really knew because I was shy, awkward, and didn’t have anyone who understood me. Now I realize that that was all of us, but of course no one told me until now. I never knew where my place was just that my attributes were smart, shy, funny, temperamental at times, loved everything comic books, and, most importantly, has a strong love for music. Music has always been a way for me to realize that I’m never alone because if I can relate my life to a song then someone else has been where I am. It only made sense to learn how to play an instrument and to make my own music.
Place #1: Band Geeks
	I’ve always loved that term. Band Geek. It just rolls off the tongue right? It was also a title and a group of people who felt like I did and wanted to belong somewhere. What most people don’t know is that even though band is a clique of it’s own, there are different sections within a band which you choose to join from day one. It begins with three words: Woodwind, Brass, or Percussion? This loosely translates into: Would you like to play an instrument that you have to constantly sink money into for reeds and repairs, one where you feel like your lips will fall off after playing, or do you have anger management problems/ADD and want to hit stuff? I first chose Brass, realized I couldn’t really play the trumpet AT ALL, and went back to choose Woodwinds. The next choice was: Which one? Clarinet was the definite answer because it was small, looked easy to play and fun. It’s one of the best choices I’ve ever made in my entire life because the clarinet section consisted of the coolest people I had ever met. We were the talented, smart, funny, socially awkward people that eventually become the awesomest people in high school. That was my home until I came out of my shell and met the greatest influence on my middle school carrier, Mrs. Gilchrist.
Place #2: Thespians
	Mrs. Gilchrist was the reason I joined the fall play. She was the new Drama/Choir teacher that year and she made middle school bearable for me. She also pushed me to do things that she knew I would love, but hadn’t had the guts to do yet because I was shy, like acting and singing in front of a crowd. I had the smallest part in the whole play, an old woman who ran a hotel with her two sisters, but she hadn’t prepared me for the shocker I found in the script.
	That’s right. Not only was I going to make my acting debut, I had to sing a song and make up the tune for it too. I was terrified! I had NEVER sung or acted for anyone, especially the whole school and their families. How did we know if I even COULD sing?
	Opening night finally came, my nerves were all over the place and my singing scene was coming up. I walked across the stage, sat down and right on cue sang the lullaby of my own creation. It was perfect and the crowd clapped and cheered for me, a new rush I had never experienced before that filled me up with adrenaline and happiness. I had caught the Thespian bug and could never go back. I had become an acting junkie who’s inner nerd desperately wanted people to see her for the loud, funny person she was. After that, everything was a whirl of acting, memorizing, changing lines, rehearsing, singing and getting that ultimate prize of the thrill of applause, the high of being complimented, and the feeling of being noticed. Finally noticed.
To Be Continued...

title: [RF] My Place Among The Nerds

question: Summarize the main tension in the story.

answer: The main tension in the story is that the narrator feels like they don't belong anywhere. They feel like a nerd, but they don't know what that means. They feel that their attributes are smart, shy, funny, temperamental, and a strong love for music. They are unsure of what to do with their life. They don't know what their place is.

critique: The narrator is not unsure of what to do with their life.

critique: The narrator is not unsure of what to do with their life. They are unsure of what their place is.

critique: The narrator's place is defined by the Thespians.

critique: The narrator's place is defined by their membership in the band and thespian groups.

critique: The second sentence isn't said in the text.

critique: This is all true, but it's not the main tension

question: Summarize the central theme of the story.

answer: The theme of this story seems to be bolstering one's self-esteem through expressing oneself creatively and finding a place among like-minded peers. The author rejoices over being found by his peers in being a band geek, and he experiences an initiation into the world of drama with the encouragement of his middle-school teacher, Mrs. Gilchrist. The author, a naturally shy person, finds self-esteem through feeling like they are a part of something special, and in someone else recognizing that specialness. This is expressed through the creativity expressed in the form of both playing the Clarinet, which the author describes as the best choice they have ever made by joining the band, and in being part of the play where the author moves from being an old woman who everyone ignores to being center-stage when she sings a song written by her.

critique: In addition to the changing of their closest friend group from band geeks to thespians, the narrator at some point is also a theatergoer. She even joins  a theater group specifically for that purpose.

critique: The response contains some inaccurate information.

critique: The response contains information that is not useful for the task.

critique: The author's self-esteem is not bolstered through expressing themselves creatively.

critique: The author's self-esteem isn't bolstered through expressing themselves creatively.

critique: The response is missing a few key details about the theme of the story.

critique: The author does not express their creativity through playing the clarinet.

critique: The author's self-esteem is not bolstered by being found by his peers.

question: What might be a good career for the author and why?

answer: The author might be a good actor because they seem to have a lot of experience with it.

critique: The author's career is not discussed in the passage.

critique: The story does not have enough information to answer the question.

critique: The author has no experience in acting. The answer should be a career in music.

critique: "The author might be a good actor because they seem to have a lot of experience with it." - the author is not a professional actor and does not have enough experience to be one. Revise the answer.

text: It is incorrect that the author seems to have a lot of experience with acting.

question: Summarize the avenues the author might take next.

answer: The author might continue to explore the avenues of acting and singing. The author might also explore the avenues of playing an instrument.

critique: The author is exploring the avenue of acting.

critique: The response is incorrect. The author is exploring the avenue of playing an instrument.

critique: The author is exploring the avenue of acting and singing.

critique: The answer is too general. It should be more specific about the avenues the author might take next.

critique: The author is exploring the avenues of acting and singing.

critique: The author is exploring the avenue of playing an instrument.


text:
**Red Ribbon**

   Each blink is more difficult and it takes me just a bit more effort to open my eyes than it did the last time. The cold of my bathtub is comforting. I lean back, take a deep breath and slowly exhale. My mind hasn't stopped racing, showing me images from my childhood, from my adolescence, from high school, from college.

   At four years old, I ran away from a camping trip to try to catch up to my parents on a hiking trail. I didn't know which direction they had gone, so I just followed the river. Ten minutes later, I was still alone and it started to sink in. No one is going to take care of me but myself. “#%!^, that's a scary thought. How will I be able to eat? I don't know how to do anything...” I wandered for what felt like forever, never straying from the security of the path I was on. Ah, the path.

   I snapped back to the present. That path. Nearly thirty years later and I realized I was jealous of that path. It had a direction, it knew where it was going. The only surprises on that path came from off the trail. Was this the right way to live my life? Is this how I would find happiness? Should I become a singularly focused individual, striving only for one goal, ignoring anything outside of that? This path is more soulful than I would have imagined a dirt road could be.

   I blink again. My eyelids feel sticky. I'm in my kitchen and I'm nine years old. Our kitchen is being remodeled and the floor is missing. I can see the dirt, spiderwebs, the century of unuse under the house. There is no rot, there is no termite damage, there is no foundation. Our house sits directly on the dirt hillside, raised up just enough to allow air to flow underneath. The house feels sturdy but there is nothing holding it in place, it could slide down the hill at any moment. Who cares? What does this mean?

   The hole in the floor of the kitchen is all I can think about when I open my eyes again. This house has lasted for more than 100 years. All without any sort of foundation, in earthquake country. It has been shaken and beaten more then I ever could be. It refuses to collapse but instead welcomes new people and wraps them in its love. This house is like a grandmother nearing senility; a shaky foundation, but a strong outward presence. A welcoming hug every time you enter through the front door. Is this how I should live? Wandering the earth, rootless, searching for a place to make a stand and show my love for my fellow man? I tried that in college, it didn't work. Free love and no foundation made me completely insecure. At any moment I could be cast aside and would have nothing to fall back on.

   My eyes lose focus as I follow the wall down from the ceiling to the bathtub, finally coming to rest on the floor of the bathtub. The rouge river winds down hands to my knees and finally pools at my heels until there is enough to continue its one-way journey. The thin thread heads straight into the darkness at the end of the tub, where it drips nosily into the drain.

   I blink twice. The second blink takes me away again. It's my Sophomore year of high school and I'm in love for the first time. Her name was Carrie, she was blonde with blue eyes. She was the co-captain of the JV Cheer squad and she always smelled like a freshly picked peony. We went on our first date together when I asked her to the Winter Formal. When I picked her up, I had to sit through “the talk” from her father while I waited for her to put her finishing touches on. After the dance, we went to an after party thrown by one of the Seniors. I didn't drink at all (it was part of “the talk”) but she did and by the time I got her back to her house, the alcohol was in full effect. We made out for half an hour. That 30 minutes was all it took, I knew I was in love. Our relationship lasted for the rest of the year but it didn't make it past the Summer she spent working on her uncle's ranch in Wyoming. I got two reasons out of her, and I've never known which one was more true. She said, “You're just too....nice” and “Cowboys.” My soul crushed, I spent the next two months sad and pitiful. First love, first loss, first time the nice guy finished dead last.

   My eyelids are heavy, but I open them and sigh. I'm back in the bathtub. I'm not an adolescent any more. I sigh again, this time in relief. The bathtub isn't so cold anymore, it has stolen my body heat giving only white porcelain in return. I brush my hand against the side of the tub, leaving irregular streaks as I move my fingers and paint with my essence. I see bits of Van Gogh and Cezanne in the chaotic crimson my fingers trail behind. I shut my eyes and am transported to my friends dorm in college. Jill is seated on her bed with Starry Night peaking at me over her right shoulder. There are two other friends in here, but I can't see their faces or remember their names. We have been discussing which super power we would want to have and why for the last three hours. I have held to my contention that being able to stop time would make one unstoppable while heavily debating flight and superspeed. We finally stop debating at 2am and I go home to sleep. In the morning, I hear from friends in the dorms near Jill. They are all asking me what I was talking about last night, apparently they could hear my laugh from the next dorm over. I tell them. They laugh more. I feel ashamed that my laugh has made me recognizable from hundreds of feet away. I am embarrassed by our conversation. I make a mental note, which I will immediately forget, to tone down my laugh.

   As I open my eyes from this memory, I realize the truth. I have spent most of my life running from my emotions. They crippled me time and again. My brain doesn't see it that way however, it relishes the emotions, the differences, the change, the unique. The problem is that I don't. My brain is pleading with me in the only way it knows how. It is pleading for me to reverse this process. It is imploring me to lift myself up, to stand up again. It has shown me the memories that were most important to me. I finally relent and lift my heavy hands, attached to heavy arms, to the edge of the tub. I set my feet flat against the floor of the tub, toes pushing against the side so I don't slip in the pooled and partially coagulated blood. I see my phone, it is across the room. It is now my only chance for survival. I strain my muscles to stand.

My eyes close.

title: Red Ribbon [1200 words] (first post here, feedback welcome, please comment)

question: Summarize the emotions the narrator feels in the beginning half of this story.

answer: The narrator begins this story by experiencing many different emotions. He feels gratitude because his brain allow him to take in an image of his second childhood memory. He feels compassion as he mourns the short life of Carrie, his first love and first heartbreak. But the most lingering emotion he seems to experience throughout this story is fear. Throughout his childhood memories, he felt like he was never cared for, so he wandered alone for so long at a young age. When he hears that non of his friends were laughing or talking about his laugh, he feels shame.

critique: The narrator is not grateful for his childhood memory, he is grateful for the path he took.

critique: The narrator is not experiencing gratitude because his brain allows him to take in an image of his second childhood memory.

critique: The narrator can't feel gratitude because he's dead.

critique: There's nothing in the passage to suggest that the narrator feels gratitude, and there's no evidence of this throughout the passage.

critique: The narrator feels fear in the present, not in his childhood.

question: Summarize the biggest revelation the narrator has in this story.

answer: The biggest revelation the narrator has in this story is that they have spent most of their life running from their emotions. They have tried to mask them and get away from them, which the narrator finally realizes is the wrong way of going about their life.

critique: It should be mentioned that the narrator is viewing his memories, looking for a way to make a difference by reversing the process before he dies.

critique: The narrator's biggest revelation is that they have been running from their emotions their entire life.

critique: "They have tried to mask them and get away from them, which the narrator finally realizes is the wrong way of going about their life." - this is inaccurate. The narrator never tried to mask or get away from their emotions. The narrator has been running from their emotions.

critique: The narrator is male, so the pronoun should be changed to reflect this.

critique: "They have tried to mask them and get away from them" - this is redundant and should be removed.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator realizes this after reflecting on memories.

question: How will the narrator feel once she realizes she can stop running from her emotions?

answer: Not answered.

critique: "The problem is that I don't. My brain is pleading with me in the only way it knows how. It is pleading for me to reverse this process. It is imploring me to lift myself up, to stand up again." is evidence that the narrator realizes she can stop running from her emotions. The answer should mention this.

critique: The question tries to get an idea of what the narrator is trying to accomplish. A good answer to that could be 'She hopes to feel a clarity that she's not found.'