text:
 Announcement    *****PLEASE READ***** COMING SOON +++++SAMPLES OF OUR PRODUCT
We value our customers and aim to meet our customers expectations and needs. Due to COVID-19, some items displayed and photos presented in our shop may be different than what you receive due to available supplies from our vendors.

We know everyone is concerned about the COVID-19 outbreak and the impacts the virus may have on our daily lives. We take the health and safety of our customers, staff, and community very seriously. As such, we are taking precautions to do our part in mitigating the spread of COVID-19. We are continuing to provide service and we are confident that our facilities and practices are safe. We are following the Health Department and Center for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines relating to COVID-19. We are being extra vigilant with maintaining a sanitary environment in our facilities and ensuring we have what is needed to stay healthy. In addition to sanitizing surfaces regularly throughout the day and encouraging good handwashing practices (a great practice all the time, not just during an outbreak!), we are also wearing gloves while packing orders as an extra level of protection.

Our bath bombs DO NOT have the ingredients or the combinations of the ingredients that leads to infections. Our Products are made with all natural organic ingredients, no chemicals added. In addition, we do not use clay or corn starch in our bath bombs, so there is no risk of infections. We only touch our products once and gloves are warn as well as when we make our bath bombs. Our products are for MEN, WOMEN, BOYS, and GIRLS. We also have product for Babies too!

UPDATE: WE ARE ALMOST FINISH WITH THIS PROJECT. You may have noticed that we changed our logo and brand; therefore, we are slowly replacing our photos to reflect the new look. You will see some photos with old look and the product may arrive with the new look.

With every order you get a 20% off coupon code. OFFER: if you make more purchases and referrals you will be eligible for bigger discounts with future purchases and offers. THE MORE YOU BUY THE MORE REWARDS!!!

Join our FACEBOOK GROUP "Bath and Body by HeartNSoul"
To get new product announcements and demos, promo codes, exclusive product sales and discount.

Announcement

Last updated on Aug 4, 2020

*****PLEASE READ***** COMING SOON +++++SAMPLES OF OUR PRODUCT
We value our customers and aim to meet our customers expectations and needs. Due to COVID-19, some items displayed and photos presented in our shop may be different than what you receive due to available supplies from our vendors.

We know everyone is concerned about the COVID-19 outbreak and the impacts the virus may have on our daily lives. We take the health and safety of our customers, staff, and community very seriously. As such, we are taking precautions to do our part in mitigating the spread of COVID-19. We are continuing to provide service and we are confident that our facilities and practices are safe. We are following the Health Department and Center for Disease Control (CDC) guidelines relating to COVID-19. We are being extra vigilant with maintaining a sanitary environment in our facilities and ensuring we have what is needed to stay healthy. In addition to sanitizing surfaces regularly throughout the day and encouraging good handwashing practices (a great practice all the time, not just during an outbreak!), we are also wearing gloves while packing orders as an extra level of protection.

Our bath bombs DO NOT have the ingredients or the combinations of the ingredients that leads to infections. Our Products are made with all natural organic ingredients, no chemicals added. In addition, we do not use clay or corn starch in our bath bombs, so there is no risk of infections. We only touch our products once and gloves are warn as well as when we make our bath bombs. Our products are for MEN, WOMEN, BOYS, and GIRLS. We also have product for Babies too!

UPDATE: WE ARE ALMOST FINISH WITH THIS PROJECT. You may have noticed that we changed our logo and brand; therefore, we are slowly replacing our photos to reflect the new look. You will see some photos with old look and the product may arrive with the new look.

With every order you get a 20% off coupon code. OFFER: if you make more purchases and referrals you will be eligible for bigger discounts with future purchases and offers. THE MORE YOU BUY THE MORE REWARDS!!!

Join our FACEBOOK GROUP "Bath and Body by HeartNSoul"
To get new product announcements and demos, promo codes, exclusive product sales and discount.

question: What is the purpose of the announcement?

answer: The purpose of the announcement is to inform customers that due to the COVID-19 outbreak, some items may be different than what they receive due to available supplies from vendors.

critique: It is omitted that the company is taking extra precautions to mitigate the spread of the virus.

critique: It is omitted that the shop is taking precautions to ensure the safety of their customers.

critique: The purpose is not just to inform customers about the COVID-19 outbreak, but also to assure them that the company is taking the necessary precautions to stay safe.

critique: The purpose of the announcement is to inform customers that due to the COVID-19 outbreak, some items may be different than what they receive due to available supplies from vendors.

critique: The answer should mention the precautions the company is taking.

question: What kinds of products does the group sell?

answer: Bath bombs

critique: The answer should mention that the group also sells other products.

critique: A more complete answer should include that their products are for men, women, boys and girls.

question: What kinds of customers are the products targeted to?

answer: The products are targeted towards men, women, children, and babies.

critique: The answer should mention that the products are for all genders.

critique: The answer should include that the products are for all genders.

critique: "and babies." - is redundant and can be deleted.

critique: Doesn't mention the cosmetic and skin care products.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

critique: The products are targeted toward people of all genders.


split: train

text:
		The Time I Found Love In A Senior Citizen –By Aaron Brooks

	Her Tinged Ciggerate’s heat radiated off into the back of my neck. I could feel her Presence. I couldn’t help but stare. Both me and my mother’s eyes were fixed on the slow burning Marlboro in her hand and the smoke that spit up her wrist.
“I’m A Libertarian, I don’t like to be told what to do.”
She observed my mom, down to the heartbeat. As did I. We both hated everything my mom did. We both hated being told what to do by my mothers all seeing eyes.
	She wasn’t the type of Libertarian who complains about Guantanamo Bay. She’s The Kind Of Libertarian who fucking drops Acid and goes to musical festivals. The epitimy of cool. Everything boring old me needed. Not only did she not have an opinion on Free trade economics SHE DIDN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT FREE TRADE ECONOMICS. She smoked weed on the hood of homeland security vehicals.
	The 14 in me wanted to end my conversation with her. Drugs, fun and freedom had taken there sweet toll on her body. Her hair was frizzed her clothes slightly tattered.  For being at the Jewish religious ceremony centered around death her shoeless feet dancing was quite the practice of someone celebrating life.  She was what a 65 year old women should be physically yet somehow she had redefined sexy for me in thirty seconds. We didn’t say much after that except small talk about “The fucking Bastard” known as Mayor Bloomberg. Everything she Said held so much weight. After our conversation came to a sad conclusion I mulled over her words like a priest reading the book of Mathew. I spent the rest of the night eating salled debating wether to go talk to her or not. I knew I would once have these debates with myself I didn’t know they’d would be about talking to someone who probably spent her morning opening social security checks. At a Shiva for all places! As if my pedophilic fantasies couldn’t get any worse, they had to be during a week that’s supposed to be filled with depression and tears.
	I looked all around the party for her, I curled around all the corners of the house. Elevating myself above tables scanning across the circles of people looking for her. Sometimes I saw her, but than she would be gone and disappear into another women. Some moments I would see her twice, at other times it seemed she never existed.
	Well fuck. She’s gone. I had my chance; I could have gone back to her house and talked into the morning. We could have drank, laughed and loved.
			KIDS THESE DAYS- Muriel Frumberg
	I had to get out of that shiva. My brother died for fucks sake, I can’t have one night of griping and smoking. This boy and his mother whom I had never met before came up to me wish me good luck or some shit. And they both stay fixated on the cigerates I was lighting back to back. People say they don’t care how you look, that’s bullshit. His mom looked so scared that I was talking to her son. Turns out this kid is some kind of Libertarian as well, he tried talking drones with me. Pathetic. I was minding my business my brother had just died. It was not the appropriate time for foreign policy discussion for fucks sake.
	You should have seen this kid. He was fucking weird. His eyes constantly were shifting around. He didn’t let people walk behind him. If you left the fucking boy alone for a second he would start mumbling to himself.
	I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. This kid’s definitely got something fucking wrong with him, probably have to do with something with his shitty bitch of a mother.
	THE NEXT IS A TEXT CONVERSATION AARON’S MOM AND DAD
DAVID: How was Shiva.
SARAH: It was good. Jean says “hi”.
Aaron was acting a little weird.
I think he was talking to voices again.
DAVID: What exactly was he doing
Or saying?
SARAH: He was talking about an old woman
He was talking to “her” about drones and
Mayor Bloomberg. He introduced me to her.
It was all very eerie.
DAVID: What else is there to do?
More therapy? More meds? What?
SARAH: Part of me says yes. However,
This is the first time I’ve seen Aaron
Happy in a long time.
DAVID: Are you suggesting we just
Let him live in his own little universe?
SARAH: Maybe just until the school
Year starts up again?
DAVID: Are you fucking insane? I think
We should send him back to the psych ward.
He’s obviously depressed.

title: I'm a 14 year old with the beginning signs of schizophrenia. Also i'd be happy to translate any Hebrew words (used minimally).

question: What does the story say about the type of person the old woman is?

answer: The old woman is a 65-year-old woman who smokes weed and drops acid. She is the epitome of cool and everything boring old Aaron needed. She doesn't have an opinion on free trade economics and doesn't give a flying fuck about free trade economics. She is sexy and has redefined sexy for Aaron. She is a libertarian who doesn't care about being told what to do. She is a free spirit who doesn't care about being told what to do.

critique: The answer should mention that the old woman smokes Marlboro and drops acid.

text: It is not stated that she is sexy.

category: accuracy

question: What does the story say about mental illness?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the story mentions schizophrenia.

text: The narrator has the beginning signs of schizophrenia. His father thinks Aroon is depressed and should see the doctor again.

category: coverage

question: Summarize everything relating to politics.

answer: The woman in the story is a libertarian who does drugs, and is also opinionated. She does not believe in free trade economics. Aaron's mother tells his father that Aaron was talking about Mayor Bloomberg and drones. She also introduces Aaron to the woman, who is big on drones and foreign policy. Aaron seems to be into these things as well.

critique: The woman is not big on drones and foreign policy.

text: It is not stated that she does not believe in free trade economics, but that she does not care about it.

question: What does the story say about the old woman's mental illness?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the old woman is implied to be schizophrenic.

critique: The answer should mention that the old woman is implied to have schizophrenia.


text:
Muffled voices filled my ears as I slowly started to slip into consciousness. I felt my legs strapped tightly to what I could only assume to be a chair. My hands were bound behind my back, my movements completely restricted. "Are you sure we should keep him here? Don't you remember what he is capable of? Especially with what you've done to him," said an unknown voice accusingly.

My eyes snapped open as I heard a coarse and familiar voice but I could only see a faint light, something was covering my head. "Of course I am. There's no way he can take all of us on though." It was at this point that I grew aware of the rustling of a number of bodies around me. Where am I?

The item covering my head was removed, and as my eyes adjusted to the light, I counted 18 bodies. They must think I'm pretty dangerous, I thought to myself as a smirk took form across my face.

"Well, well, well. It has been a while since we've seen each other, hasn't it Mr. Toigo," said the familiar voice with a smile. Why do I know that voice? I must have had a puzzled look to my face because he continued saying, “You don’t remember me, do you Mr. Toigo?” I shook my head, as I stared quizzically into his eyes. His grey eyes glared back at me with a look of resentment, yet his unshaven face held a devilish smile.

“Then maybe you’ll remember my brother…” A picture was thrown onto my lap from one of the burly men to my right. A tall lamp stood directly behind him, and as I looked around the room I noticed it’s symmetrical design. Another lamp stood in the exact same spot to my left, just in its mirrored location. Four white walls surrounded the 18 burly bodies around the room. Two mahogany tables lie to either side approximately six feet away, and directly in front of me was the man with the familiar voice, sitting in a steel chair identical to my own. A single unmarked door stood behind him. I looked down at the picture to see a man I remembered instantly, and this recognition transported me to the past.

My wife, with her beautiful brown hair and stunning figure, sat in the chair across from me as we waited for our names to be called, so that we could collect our beverages from the barista. “I’ve got an order for To-ee-go,” the barista exclaimed. I stood and picked up the hot tea and coffee my wife and I ordered. “It’s toy-go, but thank you,” I laughed as I left him a tip.

“Why do they always get it wrong hun?” my wife asked with a giggle. I held the door for her as we exited the coffee shop. The city was busy, pedestrians walking every which way, and we stopped for a second before entering the onslaught of people. As we walked we consumed our drinks and slowly made our way back to my parents house to return to the family reunion they were holding.

My eye caught those of a man in a grey hoodie and dark blue jeans before he entered into the alley just ahead of us. I moved my wife to the opposite side, away from the alley. As we passed by, there seemed to be a sudden lull in the people surrounding us. The hooded man appeared and pulled out a gun. I felt my wife’s hand suddenly jolt away from mine as another man grabbed her and held a knife to her neck. We were being jumped.

The first man directed the gun towards my head. “Don’t make this more difficult then it has to be, Mr. Toigo,” he stated with the same coarse voice as his brother. How did he know my name? “Release my wife, and I’ll do what you wish,” I said calmly. “Oh! So this is Mrs. Toigo?” he stated as he nonchalantly walked towards her, still aiming the pistol at me. “Let her go, now,” I said, my voice growing more tense.

“Is that attitude in your voice?” Our fellow pedestrians engorged us in a circle about 40 feet in diameter, too afraid to move closer. He pointed the gun at my wife, and she gave a slight exhale of exasperation. My body stiffened with anger at the thought of somebody threatening my wife, my fists clenching in rage. “Let her go now you son of a bitch,” my voice stern and forceful.

“I don’t think I wi-“ was all he managed to get out before I grabbed his shirt and threw him into the alleyway. The gun clanged against the ground as it fell out of his hands. The man holding my wife just stood in shock as I threw my fist into his jaw, breaking it instantly. As he lie writhing in pain on the cement, I stomped my boot into his throat. “Run!” I barked to my wife. She obliged and made a mad dash into the crowd.

The man I threw into the alley had regained his footing, and charged at me as he drew a knife from inside his jacket. As he slashed diagonally at me, I brought my forearm to his, abruptly stopping its progress. In one quick movement, I threw my entire body up under his arm, flipping his body over mine and directly onto the ground. I jumped on top of him and began punching furiously, blood splattering with each point of contact. He lifted his pelvis into the air, knocking me off balance as he simultaneously drove the knife into my thigh.

I grunted as it entered my leg, but I still managed to regain my balance, and tear the knife from my thigh before throwing it across the sidewalk. I raised to my feet and grabbed the breast of his hoodie, seizing him into the air, leaving his feet dangling inches from the ground. I back-peddled into the alley, before quickly spinning and launching the man into the nearby dumpster.

I backed into a parking meter as I watched the man attempt to regain his footing, before stumbling back onto the ground. I looked at his companion who was still unconscious. I heard a gasp from the crowd and my eyes darted back to my attacker as he aimed and fired his pistol. I felt the bullet enter my abdomen, but instead of toppling over in pain, I merely yelled as I felt an extreme amount of adrenaline course through my body. My body seemed to react on its own, turning towards the parking meter. With super-human strength I ripped it from the ground and threw it like a javelin directly at the man’s chest. I heard bones crack and saw blood spew from his mouth, but I wasn’t finished with him yet. He attempted to crawl away, but to no avail, as I walked towards him, my veins pulsing with adrenaline. My hands grasped the parking meter as I brought it down upon his back. Both his spine and the parking meter shattered and I could all but see him struggling just to stay alive, but he threatened my wife. I wasn’t done with him yet.

I threw away my weapon, and flipped my attacker over so that his anterior faced me. My hand grabbed his face, and I lifted him into the air easily with my newfound strength. His face expressed that he was clearly struggling just to breath, but I just said with a forceful tone, “I warned you, you son of a bitch.” With all of my strength I smashed his head into the wall, and upon impact I felt his skull crush in my hands. He was gone.

“Yes I remember your brother,” I said to the man after the flashback ended.

title: Adrenaline

question: What made the assailant attack Mrs. Toigo?

answer: It is not stated.

critique: It is implied that the assailant was after Mr. Toigo, and that he was going to use Mrs. Toigo as leverage.

critique: "It is not stated." - is incorrect. The assailant had an accomplice who was holding Mrs. Toigo hostage.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The assailant attacked Mrs. Toigo because he was trying to rob them.

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.

question: Summarize why the kidnapper brought so many people to secure the narrator?

answer: No answer

critique: The narrator was dangerous and was capable of taking on a lot of people.

critique: The kidnapper brought so many people because they think the narrator is dangerous.

critique: The passage has an answer to this question.


text:
This is the updated version of a short story I wrote a few years ago, and my first submission to this r/Shortstories. Tell me what you think? Also, apologies for the block of text, I have no idea how to format this shit.

**jello shot to the heart**

   In hindsight, everyone agreed that the party was well on its way to crashing and burning long before I did anything.

   Maybe that’s a good thing; if anyone had actually been enjoying themselves there, maybe the whole telenovela-get-this-shit-on-film level drama wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't be sitting on a 98 in Compositions right now. So good for me that the beer was excessively warm and light and the music was excessively Nicki and Miley. I might’ve wanted to cut off an ear at the end of the night (a la van Gogh, obviously. If you’re going to self-mutilate, at least make it classy), but at least *I* got something good out of it.

   In hindsight, everyone also agreed that Kevin and Lindsay were also well on their way to crashing and burning; honestly, more of us were surprised that their relationship had lasted the 6 months that it did. Who would've thought that the ~~entitled douche~~ confident extrovert of a senior with a fake ID and a winning smile would've cheated on her the minute she left town for a family reunion? Or that the already high-strung, already drunk girl would take it…less than well when she found out?

   It got bad.

   I’m a writer and I don’t think I could’ve come up with such colorful comparisons to barnyard animals and washed-up celebrities, or suggestions quite so anatomically improbable. The fact that there were so many shot glasses around, and that Lindsay was the star pitcher for the girls’ softball team, just made everything worse, along with the fact that Kevin’s “bros” were just as eager to see this shit go down as everyone else. So yeah. In hindsight, there was no way this could’ve ended well.

   Of course, you can’t blame me for not exactly trying to stop them. These were words that needed to be said. Maybe without the hurled shot glasses and curse words as punctuation, but hey, you can’t have it all, right? So maybe I had been the one to make sure Lindsay got sufficiently drunk, less “I looove you, man” and more “YOU WANNA FUCKING GO?!” drunk. So maybe I had been the one to dig up his incriminating status report and show it to her (and that’s his own damn fault for even posting it to Facebook, private or not). So maybe I dragged Kevin away from his beer pong and told him that Lindsay was looking for him, and no, nothing’s wrong, man, just head to the patio. I wasn’t doing anything but hastening the inevitable and making it a bit more entertaining to watch for the rest of us.

   What?

   Don’t look at me like that, all right? I was desperate – when your well-intentioned but woefully out-of-touch Comps teacher tells a group of introverted, Kafka-reading, notebook-carrying types to write about a failed relationship, don’t expect much first-hand knowledge. Of course my parents have the indecency to be in a loving, stable, relationship, and I’m not exactly beating off the ladies with a stick – for once, I had absolutely nothing to work with. So when the chance came to break a happy couple apart, I grabbed onto it as if it was my last chance at survival, and more importantly, a 4.0. That’s just how it is.

   Am I proud of what I did? Not exactly; engineering someone’s romantic downfall solely to boost my grade another 3% isn’t the highest on my life’s list of achievements (maybe 15th? 14th?)

   I mean, it *was* a damn good essay.

   And I stopped that relationship from reaching its inevitable conclusion on a Lifetime movie special.

   And really, I don’t remember regretting any part of my decision that night, the bitter taste in my mouth quickly being replaced by the even more bitter taste of cheap beer.

   …In hindsight, maybe I am just a little proud after all.

title: [RF?HM?] jello shot to the heart (afterparty remix)

question: What are the justifications given by the narrator for taking part in destroying a friend's romantic relationship?

answer: The narrator says that he was desperate for a good essay and that he was also trying to help his friend Lindsay.

critique: The narrator's reasons for taking part in the drama are not fully expressed in the passage.

text: The response should add that the narrator wanted to score high (4.0) in Compositions class, but the required topic, a failed relationship, was something that he knew nothing about. It should also add that the relationship he was planning to destroy was well on its way to crashing and burning anyway and he only hastened the inevitable.


text:
    During life people are called many things, some good, some bad. Within a short eight years I’ve been called; a student, worker, son, good listener, hero, savior, and many more. Since I was ten I’ve been talking people out of suicide online. During my eight years of helping people, I’ve helped many people, created an online organization, and learned many new things. This has forever and will constantly change my life.

    Many people ask me, how did this happen? How does a ten year old get mixed up with people’s lives? It was three days after my tenth birthday, the smell of my moms homemade cake was still tangible in the air. I logged onto the computer and found a chat room. I came across a man inside the room. He was talking about ending his life because his wife was cheating on him and getting his kids. My heart was in my ears beating hard, my palms were clammy and wet like a river. I talked with him till late in the night past any ten year olds bed time. This man was set and ready to die, a mere child stopped him. Me.

    A few months after helping the man, I met a girl my age who was rather interested in the “work” I did. She wanted to be part of the action. Lillie and I decided to work together helping people we would find in chat rooms. This continued for about a year. Lillie started to struggle with herself, the constant pressure of someone’s life in your hands at that young of an age takes a heavy toll upon the beholder. Lillie messaged me one night, “Dominic I have a problem” I asked her what it was and she stated, she wanted to die. She couldn’t take helping people anymore. I remember crying, panicking, wanting her to see it my way and not do what she was planning. It all ended so fast only three words remained “Lillie Signed Off.”

    Three years have passed since Lillie’s death, I created an online organization, filled with teens helping people out of dark thoughts. I created this organization in memory of Lillie. DarkShadows. DarkShadows, was constructed of teens from around the world, looking for people with suicidal thoughts that wanted to help prevent suicide. One hundred and ninety-seven teens joined DarkShadows. Each night we would have meetings and we would talk with one another to see if everyone was ok. I learned that this “job” is to hard for one child to take on alone day in and day out, there needs to be an escape route. DarkShadows showed some amazing results, the teens in DarkShadows were able to talk to five hundred plus people out of suicide. With every construction there is a destruction.

    I had a hard time destroying DarkShadows for I was proud of it. I closed down DarkShadows because the stress was enormous, two people were talking people into suicide, three people committed suicide from the pressure, and people started to not care. DarkShadows lasted three years and I was shocked that I could uphold it for so long, but I knew it had to go. I will never forget what I’ve learned from these past experiences.

    I’ve learned, many things over the past few years. I’ve learned that even though the world seems to burn like a raging fireball, there are many people out there still that care for others. I’ve learned that it doesn’t take a hero to save someone, you don’t need a utility belt, powers, cape, gadgets, or a “cool” name to save someone. All you need is a heart, and the will power, and the determination. Everyone is a hero in a way, you’re a hero to your kid, give someone some change for the bus, do something that is not expected from you. You are a hero.

    My life has changed drastically due to this “job”. I have become a better listener, I became mature, I met new people. I think back from when I was ten, I would have never imagined that helping that one guy would take me this far. I feel that due to this, I have a good understanding of people. I can “read” them easier. At times I have thought is it worth it? Is it worth spending hours upon hours helping someone that I don’t even know? When you help someone the end result of them being alive thanks to you is by far the best feeling you can think of. My life will never be the same due to this and for that I am grateful.

    During my short life span I’ve been a lot of things and experienced even more things. Do these names and experiences define me? Or simply give a better understanding of me? By helping one man live through the loss of his wife and kids. I met a great friend that I hold dear in my heart. I became a leader, making tough decisions for a lot of people. I learned, people still care for one another in this world. This has ultimately affected, and effected my life forever and I will never forget it. To be a Hero, you don’t need a cape or a utility belt, just a heart.

title: To Be A Hero You Need A Heart (True Story)

question: What would have happened if Lillie did not kill herself?

answer: Dominic owns and runs DarkShadows, a global organization that tries to help people in need as well as prevent suicide. If Lillie did not kill herself and was still part of his life, Dominic would have never created DarkShadows.

critique: The answer is a bit speculative. It is possible that Dominic would have started the group even if Lillie did not kill herself.

critique: "Dominic owns and runs DarkShadows, a global organization that tries to help people in need as well as prevent suicide. If Lillie did not kill herself and was still part of his life, Dominic would have never created DarkShadows." - this is incorrect. Dominic created DarkShadows because he was inspired by Lillie's death.

critique: Dominic created DarkShadows in memory of Lillie.

text: It is incorrect to describe DarkShadows 'as a global organization' that the protagonist 'owns'. It should also be made clear that Dominic specifically created DarkShadows in memory of Lillie, to substantiate the idea that if Lillie had not killed herself, he may never have created DarkShadows.


text:
Relationships – particularly the one we have with our partner or spouse – are vitally important. But as they are familiar and constant, we often take them for granted. Amongst the busyness of life it often feels like there is no time to ‘improve your relationship’.

The good news is that even small changes can help. Here are The Spark’s 5 simple ways to improve your relationship:

1. Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’[5 ways to improve your relationship - say thank you]

With the familiarity of a close relationship comes a reduction in gratitude to our partner. Take a trip back in time and remember when you were first dating – both of you were super polite, eager to impress, generous. When your other half made you dinner you probably thanked them five or six times. How many times did you say thank you to your partner for last night’s dinner? Did you even say it at all?

Say thank you for the little things that have become mundane: when they make you a cup of tea; record your favourite TV programme; or put a washing on. Showing appreciation can make a big difference and improve your relationship.

2. Suck up your pride and say sorry

Not backing down in an argument can become the hallmark of some relationships. No one wants to admit they were wrong in this battle of wills, even though both parties know, deep down, one of them is wrong.

If you know you are in the wrong, admit it and apologise. In the heat of the moment it can be hard but consider what there is to lose by arguing on. You could be causing hurt to your partner, potentially undermining their confidence and damaging your relationship.

In taking responsibility and apologising you can save all that hurt and possibly encourage your partner to reciprocate next time you are right. No one can argue this is not going to improve your relationship.

3. Be an individual as well as a couple[5 ways to improve your relationship - be an individual]

Spending time together in a relationship is really important. Partners and spouses that rarely see each other, rarely last long together. Equally it is important that each party to the relationship enjoys aspects of their life defined individually and not as your other half.

Join a sports club, book group or pick up an old hobby (or a new one). Simply engage in something, ideally each week that is something you do as ‘you’ and not as one half of a couple. Having space and time apart – in manageable doses – makes your time more precious when you are together. It also gives you interesting things to talk about and share.

4. What if they were gone?

This one is particularly difficult to do in the heat of an argument but is highly effective. When you are in the middle of a fight, particularly about something really trivial like who left the milk out of the fridge, ask yourself this question: what if they were gone?

It seems like a backwards way to improve your relationship but imagine your partner in a job where they were away from home for months at a time. Imagine they were not around for some reason or had not stuck around. At that point it is very likely your feelings of frustration or anger will be replaced by a sensation of loss and sadness. This is a real demonstration of your feelings for them, not the temporary, emotionally charged petty annoyance.

5. Stop shouting[5 ways to improve your relationship - stop shouting]

The advice here is not that couples should never argue. Arguments are a part of relationships that will always exist. How we manage our behaviour during and after is where the problems lie.

In our frenetic society we have come to believe that the person shouting the loudest will be heard. In reality the person shouting is demonstrating an inability to manage their emotions; much like a toddler throwing a tantrum after not getting their way. When you find yourself starting to shout in an argument with your partner, try to lower and soften your voice.

It is easier to come to a compromise when you and your partner are not screaming at each other. So as your mum always used to say: indoor voices please.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relationship counselling

Do you feel like the relationship with your partner needs more support? Are your arguments becoming more aggressive and more frequent?

Couple counselling and marriage counselling with THE SPARK provides a safe environment where a skilled counsellor can help you and your partner work through any underlying issues. Confidentiality is guaranteed and all of our counsellors are BACP or COSCA accredited.

Improve your relationship

Find out more about Relationship Counselling with The Spark. To speak to one of our team about counselling FREEPHONE 0808 802 0050 or complete a short enquiry form.

The Spark operates 12 counselling centres across Scotland. Find your local counselling centre.

question: What does the article say about meeting a soulmate?

answer: No answer

critique: There's no relevant information on soul mates or meeting one.

critique: The article does not mention anything about meeting a soulmate.

critique: No answer is given, but the article does mention that relationships are important.

critique: There is a reference to marriage at the end. Include this in your response.

critique: There is no information about meeting a soulmate.

critique: No answer is given, but the article discusses ways to improve a relationship, which might be taken as an answer.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The article does not mention meeting a soulmate.

critique: There is no answer to this question in the text.

critique: There is nothing in the text about this.

question: What does the article say about relationships between a partner or spouse?

answer: Relationships are important. Sometimes, conflicts between spouses can lead to bitterness and resentment. Handling conflicts can be very difficult without professional help. At those times, couples need to understand the feelings of their partners and make accommodations.

critique: It is omitted that it's important to show appreciation by showing gratitude in small ways, like cooking a partner a meal; it's important to not be too prideful and apologise; also couples should spend time as individuals as well.

critique: It's omitted that couples should also make time for each other, individually.

critique: The answer misrepresents the role of 'professional help' for couples.

critique: The subject of the article is about how to improve relationships; it does not clarify why conflicts arise.

critique: The answer omits the ways to improve your relationship.

critique: The answer does not mention that couples need to say "please" and "thank you"

critique: The second sentence is unnecessary and should be removed.

critique: While this response is correct, the question was broader, asking about romantic relationships, not just ones with spouses.

critique: The answer should mention the third point.

critique: The article does not mention bitterness and resentment.

critique: The answer should mention the importance of saying "please" and "thank you" and apologizing.

critique: "Couples need to understand the feelings of their partners" is not mentioned in the text.

critique: The answer does not mention the five ways to improve a relationship.

question: What does the article say about The Spark?

answer: The Spark manages counselling services in Scotland. It also runs counselling centres. The company wants to improve relationships for couples and individuals.

critique: Saturday and Sunday the counselling center is closed

critique: The Spark is not a company, but a service.

critique: The Spark does not manage counselling services in Scotland.

critique: The Spark is a counselling service, not a company.

critique: It is not mentioned that the company wants to improve relationships for couples and individuals.

critique: It's omitted that the company helps people find local centers.

critique: The company is not mentioned in the article, only the counselling service.

critique: The Spark's counselling services are not mentioned in the article.

critique: The Spark's relationship counselling is not mentioned specifically.

critique: The answer does not mention that The Spark is an organization that can provide counselling.

critique: The company wants to improve relationships for couples and individuals.

critique: The Spark isn't the one who wants to improve relationships. It's the writer.

critique: The article doesn't explicitly say this, but it's implied that it runs counselling services.

question: What does the article say about the five ways couples can improve their relationship?

answer: The first way to improving a relationship is to say please and thank you. According to the article, this entails saying thank you for the little things that couples do for each other, such as making tea or recording their favorite TV programs for each other. The second way is to suck up your pride and say sorry. This article advices couples to apologize for their mistakes. The third way to improving a relationship is to be an individual. According to the article, we often find ourselves in the same strained relationship, because when our significant other is away we forget the reason we fell in love with them. The fourth way is called 'what if they were gone?'. This talk reminds couples that the relationship they have is precious, and emotions such as affection will abound. According to the article, the final way to improve a relationship is to stop shouting. It suggests to lower and soften your voice.

critique: The fourth way is 'what if they were gone?'

critique: The fourth point is irrelevant and should be omitted.

critique: The answer is not clear and needs to be rewritten.

critique: "The third way to improving a relationship is to be an individual." - this is incorrect. The third way is to be an individual as well as a couple.

critique: Some of the details mentioned in the response are wrong.

critique: The second and third points have nothing to do with the question.

critique: The fourth way is not called "what if they were gone?"

critique: The content about the fourth way, "What if they were gone?", is incorrect

critique: "The second way is to suck up your pride and say sorry." - this is irrelevant and should be deleted.

critique: The article does not say that the fourth way to improve a relationship is called "what if they were gone?"

critique: The answer is not clear and is not in the right order.

critique: "The second way is to suck up your pride and say sorry." - this never happened. This series has to be cut. Edit the second half of the answer to contain only the things the text actually says.

critique: The structures of the sentences in the answer aren't strictly parallel. This can be fixed by replacing "according to the article" with "the article" wherever it appears.

critique: The third way to improving a relationship is to engage in something individually.

critique: "According to the article, this entails saying thank you for the little things that couples do for each other, such as making tea or recording their favorite TV programs for each other. The second way is to suck up your pride and say sorry. This article advices couples to apologize for their mistakes. The third way to improving a relationship is to be an individual. According to the article, we often find ourselves in the same strained relationship, because when our significant other is away we forget the reason we fell in love with them. The fourth way is called 'what if they were gone?'. This talk reminds couples that the relationship they have is precious, and emotions such as affection will abound. According to the article, the final way to improve a relationship is to stop shouting." - these sentences do not answer the question and should be replaced.

critique: The article doesn't say that the first way is to say please and thank you.


text:
Home » Love Cards

Last Updated: 28th November, 2020

Send a classic love card to the special person of your life on an extra special day. Express your deeply tender feelings of intimacy, devotion, and adoration to your lover and strengthen your relationship of love.

[Reasons why I love you Card]

Reasons why I love you!

[I love how i see myself]

I love how i see myself...

[Please stop being so amazing]

Please stop being so amazing

Love You Cards

Love is a beautiful emotion that brings smiles and cheer in your life. Get beautiful love e-cards to speak your heart out to your special someone.

[You are my life]

I adore you

[My Heart]

I love the way you smile

Love Images

Are you looking for Lovers photos/love images? Find high-quality sphotos that you won't find anywhere else.

[You and your love..]

You and your love..

[Crazy in love]

Crazy in love

[My Love For You]

My Love For You

Love Card For Wife

With these beautiful love cards for wife say something special to your sweetheart.

[Lot of Happiness]

Lot of Happiness

[Happiness blossoms ]

Love Card For Wife

[Rarely someone]

Thanked God

Love Cards for Husband

Check out our husband love card for an anniversary, Valentine's Day or other special day in your relationship.

[Lot of Happiness]

Our Life Together

[Happiness blossoms ]

You are my

[Rarely someone]

As your wife

Love Quotes

Looking for the best deep love quotes? Here are some of the most beautiful quotes about love to help you express how you feel.

[Rarely someone]

Love more

[Rarely someone]

Little moments with you

[Forget someone]

Forget someone

Love Messages

Love messages to impress your girlfriend, fiance or wife? You came to the right place! Spark some romance with these amazing love quotes.

[You are the most]

You are the most

[Rarely someone]

I Want you

Love Poems

When you feel true love, but you're not sure how to say the magic words let poetry help! These beautiful love poems for him and her, are the perfect way to express your love.

[Rarely someone]

You are the one

[Rarely someone]

Love me.

[A word of love]

A word of love

Love Quotes For Him

These love quotes for him are the most romantic way to tell the man in your life just how much you care and love him.

[Love Quoes cards]

I don't know.

[Rarely someone]

I want to be

[My favourite]

My favourite

Love Quotes for Her

Looking for the best love quotes for her? Shower her with affection and admiration with these beautiful I love you quotes for her .

[Rarely someone]

You stole

[I will wait for you]

I will wait for you

[The first time]

The first time

[Rarely someone]

Overwhelmed by all...

[Holds your hand]

Holds your hand

[Absolutely nothing]

Absolutely nothing

Love Messages For Girlfriend

Whether you want to send short text messages for your girl or you need love messages for girlfriend, we are here to help you.

[I need you]

I need you.

[When I look]

When I look

[I Love You]

I Love You

[Your love story]

Your love story

[You and me.]

You and me.

[Love is deaf]

Love is deaf

question: Summarize what feelings the love cards express and to who.

answer: Love is the only emotion that brings smiles and cheer into your life. Allow beautiful love icons and pictures to speak your heart without saying a word. However, whenever you feel that the traditional ways of expression of emotion aren't enough for your partner, there are love messages

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The response includes information that is not useful for the task.

critique: The answer does not give a summary of the feelings expressed by the love cards.

critique: The answer only addresses the first two sentences of the question.

critique: The answer does not summarize what the love cards express.

critique: "Love is the only emotion that brings smiles and cheer into your life. Allow beautiful love icons and pictures to speak your heart without saying a word." - irrelevant information that does not answer the question.

critique: The passage did not describe love "as the only emotion that brings smiles and cheer into your life."

critique: Lacks clarity; could be better organized

critique: The answer is not relevant to the question.

critique: The answer omits the feelings of the cards.

critique: The text does not mention that it is the only emotion that brings smiles and cheer into a person's life.

question: How likely are these love cards to be popular among people?

answer: It says all the cards are traditional, so these are likely to be very popular among people who appreciate tradition.

critique: The passage does not mention that all the cards are traditional.

critique: It is only partly true that these cards are traditional

critique: It's not stated that these are traditional.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: This response is not related to the card subject of this question.

critique: While the answer is logical, it does not cover all bases. The answer does not state their potential popularity.

critique: It is not stated that the cards are traditional.

critique: The answer should explain why it is likely that the cards will be popular

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

critique: This answer is irrelevant and not related to the question.


text:
Chapter 1

"Everything you can imagine is real"
-Pablo Picasso

Picasso's quote remained the last thing on the art room wall from the days lesson, an hour spent that will be quickly forgotten and disregarded by all but a handful of recipients. The classroom was bustling with loud cliques and annoying 'besties' rushing to get out this prison for winter break. I sat in my own silence and took note of the many people who returned my disconcerting attitude towards them. Another extended weekend of video games and internet browsing awaited me, so I was not in a rush to leave. The calm creativity of the room beckoned my attention; amateur abstract paintings lined the walls, and painted paper sculptures hung from the ceiling above the long rectangular tables. I sighed, knowing I might as well get out of here before the teacher wonders what I'm up to.

I thought about that last line of lecture as I flipped the book shut and slowly slid back from the table. Art wasn't my thing, but it's like in that instance, Picasso was talking directly to me. It had seemed like forever since the bell rang when I finally stood up, chuckling under my breath. I turned around and started heading towards the exit, making one last quick cautious glance around the room. As I expected, the gaggle of unassuming students were paying no mind to me, and the teacher was busy packing up her things.

I paused in my path to the exit, and thought about the desk chair that I had not pushed in. A fleeting moment of doubt almost let me keep walking toward the door, but I swallowed and pushed back the uncertainty as my heart rate rose. My focus became shaper and my worries distant. I thought about the chair sitting behind me, with it's bumpy plastic texture and it's cold touch, imagining the rounded edge of the back's top portion. The more I thought about it and imagined it, the more I realized it was as if I could actually feel it. In my hands? In my mind? I really wasn't sure. Regardless, it was working the same as it had when I first discovered it, whatever 'it' was. Finally I squeezed the hands that were still dangling next to me, despite the obvious redundancy, and gripped the top of the chair. With my mind, but somehow my arms, I pushed. I pushed harder, yet here I was in the middle of the room, with only the musty school air to fill my palms.

Despite the impossibility, the metal legs on the ceramic art room floor made the satisfying rumble behind me as it slipped neatly under the table, now flush and proper. There I stood, still for another instant, reveling in the new found power that had managed to work yet again. It took an involuntary smirk to pull me out of my awed trance, upon which I casually glanced around the now near-empty room, and continued to proceed towards the exit. Barely able to contain my excitement, I slipped out the door in similar fashion to the 'cool guys who don't look at explosions,' not bothering to look at the newly replaced chair as I rounded the corner out into the hall.

I had no idea why it worked, let alone how... but indeed it worked, as it had for the first time in my room just a few days ago. I was still getting used to the sensitivity of it, having only exercised the talent a few times, but it was amusingly useful as I could tell so far. As I made my way closer to the end of the hall, the light from the courtyard lit up like a beacon of freedom to the flowing and churning river of students. It was a comforting sight for me as well, but more so for the fresh air and escape to blissful solitude. I finally left the building having accomplished what I'd set out to for the day; use my power in public. There was a strange adrenaline producing fear that came from it, one that I knew I had to control if this thing were to ever be of any use to me. My next goal, I thought to myself as I made my way toward the parking lot, was to find the limits of my ability and master the simple tricks; after that, who really knows.

My thoughts drifted from the subject when my car finally came into view, along with Ren who was leaned patiently up against it.

"What took you so long?" He shouted. "It's break man, let's get the hell out of here.

"Yeah sorry," I retorted as I hopped in the drivers seat, "I had something to take care of."

title: [SF] Beginning of an idea. (Maybe? Idk, just bored)

question: Summarize the reactions to class ending and letting out for winter break.

answer: Some students are excited to be getting out of the school and skipping to their car. Others in the hall look like they have somewhere to be for winter break.

critique: The response should include more details on the activity of all the students in the school.

critique: The answer should mention the teacher going to pack up her things.

critique: "Others in the hall look like they have somewhere to be for winter break." - this is inaccurate and there is no evidence to suggest this statement. The model should consider a rewrite.

critique: The students in the hall are not described as having somewhere to be.

critique: The information is relevant but the details in the answer are somewhat wrong.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The response is missing the reactions of the narrator.

critique: Use the first person plural and a complete sentence

critique: "others in the hall look like they have somewhere to be for winter break." - no one is wandering around the hallways as they leave. The students are already in their cars.

critique: The answer does not mention the narrator's reaction.

critique: The answer should mention the narrator's excitement.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator is not in a rush to leave.

critique: "Some students are excited to be getting out of the school and skipping to their car. Others in the hall look like they have somewhere to be for winter break." - no evidence that students are excited to be skipping to their car or have somewhere to be.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator is not looking forward to the upcoming break.

question: Summarize the narrator's talent.

answer: The ability to use what seems to be their mind, along with an awareness of the tactile surroundings around them, to physically interact with objects. The narrator uses the ability to push a chair under the table, to sit, and move out of the room without touching things. The narrator seems to be experimenting, observing effects by thinking about outcomes, and discovering limitations.

critique: Additional information is needed in this response.

critique: The narrator doesn't use the ability to sit.

critique: "The narrator seemingly uses the ability to push..." - the narrator is male, so his gender should be mentioned in the answer.

critique: The narrator isn't using the ability to sit in the chair, they are using it to move the chair.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator can move objects without touching them.

critique: The narrator's ability is not to use their mind, but to use their mind to interact with objects.

critique: There is no evidence that the narrator moved out of the room without touching things.

critique: The narrator isn't experimenting, they just discovered they have this power.

critique: This answer does not make sense. It is not stated in the story that the narrator interacts by sitting on a chair.

critique: "The narrator uses the ability to push a chair under the table, to sit, and move out of the room without touching things." - while the narrator is able to do these things, the text doesn't mention anything about them using the ability.

critique: "The narrator uses the ability to push a chair under the table, to sit, and move out of the room without touching things." - this is inaccurate. The narrator just pushed the chair under the table. They didn't sit on it.

critique: The narrator's ability is not limited to pushing a chair under the table.

critique: The response includes information that is not useful for the task.

question: Summarize everything relating to a school setting.

answer: The students who return the narrator's "disconcerting" attitude are classroom-cliques of teenagers who might speak in slang.

critique: It's not the narrator's attitude that is disconcerting, but his silence.

critique: The narrator's disconcerting attitude is not mentioned.

critique: "The students who return the narrator's "disconcerting" attitude are classroom-cliques of teenagers who might speak in slang." - this is incorrect. The students in the classroom are not a clique and do not speak in slang.

critique: The answer should mention that there are amateur abstract paintings and painted sculptures in the classroom.

critique: There is no evidence in the text to suggest that the students who return the narrator's "disconcerting" attitude are classroom-cliques of teenagers who might speak in slang.

critique: This doesn't narrow down what's being described as a school setting

critique: The summary omits mentioning the Bell Rings and the bell is tinkling.

critique: Mention that the bell has rung and the classroom is bustling with loud cliques and annoying 'besties'.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator was in the art room.

critique: The narrator is in the art classroom, so it's likely the students speak in art cliques.

question: What does the text say about the narrator's romantic interest?

answer: No answer

critique: There is no evidence that the narrator has a romantic interest.

critique: The narrator does not have a romantic interest.

critique: There is no evidence proving or disproving the idea that the narrator has a romantic interest

critique: The text does not mention a romantic interest.


text:
The ceiling was white. Jon was lying on a hospital bed, about to be wheeled into surgery. Jon was no stranger to surgery as he had been though dozens of life altering cut-ups, he did have a problem however with “the gas”. “Sleeping Gas” as it is known colloquially, is known medically as general anesthesia, which is used to induce a coma during surgery. Jon hated the “gas”, he was afraid of it.

“I don’t like it, Ma” Jon said.

“I know, Jon. But you have to. I already asked and the surgeon said he’d be uncomfortable with you just being under L.A.”

L.A. or local anesthesia, much like the city it shares its acronym with, renders its patients physicality unresponsive, devoid of sensation, but ironically conscious. Jon had attempted to negotiate that his surgeries be done with nothing but L.A, to escape the “gas”.

“What is the problem with the G.A. anyway? Isn’t it just like going to sleep?” Jon’s father asked brusquely.

“Pa. It terrorizes me because it is so unlike sleep. You know when you take a nap or wake up the next morning, you are fully conscious of the fact that time has passed? With G.A, there’s like a gap in your existence. It’s like you died for the duration of your surgery and brought back to life. I don’t like it.” Jon mused.

Soon after, the Anesthesiologist arrived, she was there to ask some procedural questions like what prescription drugs Jon had been taking, if Jon had eaten anything six hours before, et cetera et cetera. Jon knew all the answers by hard, he had been though this countless times. Jon’s mother however, attempted to facilitate an abrupt discussion surrounding “the gas”. Jon played along but in truth he knew what the answers were. So while she went on and on about how harmless it was, and how there were no long term physical repercussions…et cetera, et cetera. Jon began panicking about the repercussions to his psyche, he had terrible memories surrounding “the gas”, namely more dangerous and life threatening surgeries he underwent as a child.

Soon it was time to be rolled into the operating theater. Jon’s sympathy party stood up to say goodbye.

“You have nothing to be afraid of Jon! It’s only knee surgery! Nothing vital or life threatening this time!” John’s father exclaimed.

“MY GOD. Does no one get IT?!” Jon thought as he entered the theater.

Jon’s fear was palpable now. The nurses in the operating theater hooked Jon up to the medical apparatus that transformed his vital signs into a series of lines and beeps.

“ Are you afraid or nervous Jon?” the nursed asked.

“No. Why?” Jon fibbed.

“Then why is your heart rate so high?” she replied pointed at the screen making successive beeps.

“No idea.” Jon falsifying again.

“ ‘Sup Jon! How’re we doing today?” Jon’s orthopedic surgeon pronouncing his arrival.

Jon liked him; definitely liked him enough to forgive him for denying the request for no “gas”. Jon replied with further fabrications surrounding his state of mind and false fortitude.

With the arrival of his surgeon, it was time for surgery to begin. It was time for “the gas”. Now Jon had finally begun to resign himself to this, he took a deep breath and steeled himself for death. Jon heard the twist of a valve, a rush of air, the cacophony of beeps as the mask loomed over his face, and then all was darkness.

***

Then Jon awoke. The ceiling was still white.

title: The Gas

question: What is Jon afraid of?

answer: Jon is afraid of death at his operation.

critique: He's afraid of the "gas" during surgery, not death.

critique: The answer is a bit misleading. Jon is afraid of the anesthesia.

critique: "Jon is afraid of death at his operation." - Jon is not afraid of death. He is afraid of the effects of general anesthesia. Revise the answer.

critique: The answer is not specific enough. Jon is afraid of the general anesthesia.

critique: It's not Jon's death, but his feeling of having died while under general anesthesia.

critique: "Jon is afraid of death at his operation." - Jon is afraid of the anesthesia.

critique: It is omitted that much of the fear is because of the anesthesia he'll be using.

critique: Not so much death at his operation as he was afraid of the gas.

critique: It is omitted that he is afraid of the gas because it reminds him of death.

critique: The answer is not completely accurate. The passage does not say that Jon is afraid of death at his operation.

question: How will John feel after he awoke from his surgery?

answer: John will feel either anesthesia or hope.

critique: This response is not related to the question.

critique: The answer is made up. John won't feel either.

critique: It is not stated that he will feel either anesthesia or hope.

critique: An ambiguous response. John will not feel a sense of hope after surgery if he was not feeling that prior to surgery

critique: The question is vague. There is no answer.

critique: He won't feel either of those things, he will just be relieved.

critique: The response isn't related to the question.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

question: How is Jon feeling as he is getting prepped for his surgery?

answer: Jon is feeling afraid as he is getting prepped for his surgery.

critique: The answer could include more details about Jon's feelings related to the anesthesia.

critique: The answer is too vague. It should mention that he is afraid of the anesthesia.

critique: Jon is feeling afraid more generally about 'the gas', not about the surgery.

critique: The answer could be more specific about the source of Jon's fear.

critique: the answer is pretty close, but needs a bit of an edit and some more information.

critique: The answer should mention that Jon is afraid of the anesthesia.

critique: The answer should be a little more specific about the cause of Jon's fear.

critique: There is no evidence that Jon is afraid.

critique: He also does not want to use the anesthesia.

critique: "Jon was lying on a hospital bed, about to be wheeled into surgery." - Jon is already in the operating room and this should be taken into consideration.

critique: The answer is incomplete and omits a very important detail: Jon is afraid of the anesthesia, not just the surgery.


text:
Christ Mass. Even as an adult it sent a shiver down his spine. Christ Mass, a time for repentance, a time for respect, a time for sorrow. Nick shook his head, it was getting late and his mind was starting to wander. He had a lot of work to do, tomorrow was a big day, tomorrow he would test the time suit.

It was no coincidence that Nick had chosen the 25th of December to test his machine. Nick's machine was an affront to everything the OTC stood for and he couldn't think of a better way of saying "Screw You!" then to violate the very laws of Physics on their most important day.

By 8.00am he was already in the suit. He settled the butterflies in his stomach by finishing a glass of milk - his favourite. After a moment's pause he stood up, pressed the button and fell out of time.

Nick was a genius by anyones' standards with an unnatural aptitude for working with multi-dimensional problems. At university he came to understand that our perception of time is simply a shadow of a multidimensional field. This realisation was coupled with the reality that he was beyond his peers and professors, he dropped out. It took 3 years to finish the machine. 3 years of working in secret. 3 years of sleepless nights, unhealthy eating and personal neglect. By the time it was complete Nick was a state, morbidly obese with an ungainly beard, but his work was done.

Falling backwards, the world dimmed and blurred. His brain struggled to process the unphysical reality. He perceived a stream of colours as visual information from multiple moments arrived simultaneously - it was nauseating. Fortunately he didn't need to make sense of it all, his suit did all the work. He pressed another button and started hurtling sidewards a year at a time. The surface of history spun in front of his eyes, the motion sickness faded and a rainbow of colours washed over him as the years passed. Coming out from a trance he had the shocking realization - the colours were fading, he was still falling! In a panic he pressed the button to return to the time event horizon.

He came too lying on a crowded street. A quick survey of the dense terraced houses and thick smog suggested that he had emerged around the Victorian era. With ease that surprised himself he sprung to his feet. The people around him remained motionless. Something was wrong. An examination of his suit controls revealed the problem - he wasn't back! Draining its batteries, competing with an unanticipated force, the machine had died anchoring him on the very edge of time.

Nick explored the town. Here on the cusp of time he could feel the air, the sun on his back, feel gravity pulling him down, even smell the local bakery but the experience was diluted, ethereal. Walking the back alleys put his life in perspective. The strict discipline that came with Christ Mass made him feel like he had suffered hardships, but here was true suffering. At the edge of town he found the worst of it; an orphanage. Most of the kids looked 3 missing meals from starvation. Nick remembered the bakery he past earlier.

He felt guilty taking bread from under the plump baker's nose but couldn't shake the image of the starving children. Eight trips and several hours later he'd managed to supply most of the kids with loaves, rolls and pastries. He stole one last glance at the baker as he carried the bread-filled sacks out the door. The baker's mouth was formed into an "O", his expression one of shock. It was strange, Nick didn't remember seeing this before. The final visit to the orphanage confirmed it - the smallest glimmer of joy showed in the eyes of the kids Nick supplied first. Time wasn't frozen! It was just passing imperceivably slow.

The joy he saw in those children's faces elated him. This was the first time in Nick's life he had ever felt purpose, felt useful. He was especially gleeful that he could bring such joy on the day of Christ Mass, a traditional day of suffering for children.... Cogs whirred in his brain, his version of Christ Mass didn't exist yet! The OTC hadn't been formed! The OTC gained absolute power exploiting the misery of people during the hard winter months. It was ironic that the children in the orphanage would always associate this day with a happy memory. It was a shame, he thought, that every child couldn't feel this way about Christ Mass because then the OTC would never happen. But you couldn't possibly make every child on earth happy. Right?

It was evening by the time he finished. It had taken the whole Tunguskan forest, but he had finally made enough toys for all the children of the earth. His body within the suit remained in time stasis, but his hands and face had aged and his beard had turned to purest white. He set off with his first payload. It would likely be midnight before his work was done, he just hoped he would get to see those glimmers of joy once more before *his* time ran out. Either way, Christ Mass would have a different meaning for the world of the future than it did to Nick.

It was a magical night that night. Those lucky enough saw a flash of a giant smiling man with perfect white beard and glowing redshifted suit. And if you listened carefully, you could even hear his Doppler shifted laughter resonating through the air.

"Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christ Mass!"

title: The Nick Of Time

question: How does this story relate to modern culture?

answer: The story is about a time traveler who goes back in time to deliver toys to children on Christmas.

critique: The answer should note that the story is a work of fiction.


text:
I remember this story,
I remember it well.
It had a devilish intention,
To stay in mind to only dwell.

It happened so fast,
It happened in vain.
It happened at night,
In a vast land we call the plains.

When the sun was almost done,
And forming on the horizon a small crest.
A farmer came out to sit on his porch,
After a long day of work to take his rest.

When his wife came out,
And kissed him on the cheek.
She said to him you work to hard,
Maybe you should rest for a day or week.

You know I can’t said the farmer,
We have to worry about food.
And all bills we have to pay,
Do you want to live in a hood?

 You no I don’t,
Said the woman in such an attitude.
That made the farmer thinks,
Why was she talking this rude?

But the farmer thought nothing of it,
And arose to go to bed.
He walked up the stairs,
And laid down to rest his weary head.

In the middle of the night,
Arose such a clatter.
That the farmer rose,
To see what was the matter.

He rushed to his closet,
And through open the door.
To grab his gun his father gave him,
Who told him it was useful for ever more.

He went down the stairs,
In a manner so gentle.
That made the man think could this be his wife leaving?
Why he was thinking this, she could never leave him, was he mental?

Why did he think this?
 He knew he could not be.
If he thought this it could not be true,
Not one thing is wrong with me.

When he arrived down the stairs,
He saw into the room.
But saw nothing but the furniture,
And some glass beside a broom.

He starts for the kitchen,
Since the lights were still going along.
He turned the corner,
And saw something was wrong.

His wife was in there,
A man had his arms around her shoulders rim.
How could she do this he thought?
 So a fury of anger rose within him.

He dashes in brandishing the gun,
And yells at her I kill you and this man if I can.
So he pulled the trigger,
But nothing came out and killed man.

Then everything happened in a fury,
 The farmer was on the ground after he fell.
The unknown man was now on top of him,
And the farmers head was ringing like a bell.

The farmer fell asleep then,
Not knowing where he was.
He awoke with his hands tied in a dark cold room,
With a lot of commotion coming from the room above that came like a buzz.

He realized he was in his basement,
And could no longer move his arms in any motion.
So he tried to create a noise to be heard,
But could not because of the upstairs commotion.

With that man upstairs with his wife,
And he down here with his hands behind his back.
That man was messing around with his wife,
And all he wanted to do is grab the axes and hack.

His ties came loose,
His hands were free.
He got up and grabbed the axe,
He ran to the door and yelled out you are only me.

He slashed down the axe,
It went down in a whir.
The man now led dead on the cold floor,
So now the farmer started for her.

She exclaimed out to him,
That was your son you just hurt, you are acting crazy.
We put you down there to keep you come till we could surprise you in the mor…
She went down like the man before her and the rest is a little hazy.

When the farmer finally came back to reality,
He was in a strange room.
He stood before a man in black,
Who seemed to be in a gloom?

He said to the farmer in a booming voice,
For what you have committed is so vile I can not think of a punishment to give.
So I give you live in prison,
You will never be a free man as long as you live.

The farmer is now in a strange small room,
A room he could no longer leave as he may.
He said in a sorrowful voice how can I atone myself,
He heard voice behind him say, I can think of a way.

title: a little alliteration i made one boring day

question: What is the farmer's motivation to use the gun his father gave him?

answer: The farmer believes his wife was leaving him and that he would have to kill her and the intruder.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The farmer does not use the gun to kill his wife and the intruder.

critique: The farmer doesn't believe his wife was leaving him.

critique: The farmer believes his wife was leaving him and that he would have to kill her and the intruder. - the farmer doesn't believe his wife was leaving him.

critique: He doesn't believe his wife was leaving him, he knows

critique: The farmer's motivation is not to kill his wife.

critique: Farmer's motivation to use the gun is to protect himself by shooting the intruder

critique: The farmer believes his wife is cheating on him, not that she was leaving him.

critique: The farmer's motivations are not entirely clear.

question: What does the story say about the man the farmer wants to kill.

answer: No answer

critique: The response misses to mention that the man the farmer wants to kill is the man who was messing around with his wife.

critique: The farmer wants to kill his wife's lover.

question: What are the effects of the farmer killing the man?

answer: He ends up in prison.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer kills his wife as well.

critique: It is omitted that the farmer's wife dies.

critique: Doesn't mention how he ended up in prison.

critique: The answer should mention that the farmer also kills his wife.


text:
We were together again. It was so nice to smell you, always a hint of incense or something exotic, and to hear your voice, always calm, I don't know how you do it. It felt so real. It felt so nice.
You inhaled slowly, first through the joint, and then through your nose before letting it all out, smiling, and passing it to me. I gave you a cheeky smile because I know you like it.
You are my best friend, my secret lover, and some of the biggest moments in my life have been with you, but most recently travelling India together, where I felt I learnt the most about myself, about you and about us.

I'm not 100% certain to where we were, my mind was telling me Amsterdam, maybe because I had been there so recently it was affecting my thoughts, but the dirty concrete steps and the smog surrounding the yellow street lights in the night told me otherwise. But I'll stick with Amsterdam.
We weren't talking much, but it wasn't an awkward scenario, we were just content with being quiet. We do that a lot, and I like it. I like that we just enjoy the moment together in silence.

Trying to recall what happened is a bit of a blur, but for the most important parts, I remember quite clearly.
A man came out, and shooed us off his steps, at least I think they were his. He was dark skinned, and seemed to be talking Hindi? Though, I still believe I am in Amsterdam. We ran off, and found a truck, I don't know why we got in but we did. It was one of those Ford F2 somethings. A big white one.. we've never driven together in one of those, so I don't know why we did now. I felt like we were running from something, my heart was beating.

We ended up in a back alley somewhere, though I didn't feel I was in Europe now, more like Australia because it was night but I wasn't cold, and the ground, concreted for a parking lot was clean.
We sat under some trees- I remember looking at the bottle-brush flowers. Definitely Australian. What are they doing here? And how were we still smoking this joint?

All we've been talking about to each other for the past month, is how much we miss each other. Constantly reminiscing, but so much happened in India, it's hard not to!
I said something about India. I can't even remember what. Something along the lines of "God I miss..." or "Haha, How funny was..." It's not important. It was your reply that startled me.
"What? I haven't been to India." And you laughed. Am I going crazy? We spent nearly 3 months there! How can you forget that? That's why we have gone from friends to... this, we changed together! Although I wasn't nearly as alarmed as I felt.

"You know, *India*?" I said, coolly.

You did that calm laugh thing you do, "Ha. Ha, nope! But that sounds like a lot of fun! When are we going?" You winked at me.

You were excited TO visit India, this makes no sense. I tried to explain, but still I was so relaxed, I don't even understand my own actions, why wasn't I shaking you or crying for perhaps losing a chunk of.. life?

"Yeah, we went to India for nearly 3 months, best time of my life. Best time of your life, and something we will never forget."

"Huh." You said. "Well, I'm looking forward to it."

And then, I felt like as if I was watching myself.
"You know I live in Scotland, right?"

"You do?" You asked impressed. How didn't you know? We talk nearly every day.

"I've been there for nearly 10 months now, I'm actually in England right now." Holy shit, I *am* in England. "It's probably about 10.30am"

I felt like I was completely separated from myself now, just watching. I continued talking to you about our lives right now, about India and about the amazing things we experienced, you'd laugh and say things like "That sounds like something I'd do" or "I can't wait".

And then I woke. It was indeed 10.30am.
I rolled over, grabbed my phone and checked my facebook. One notification. I'm not a popular person, but it was from you, a message, from you!

"I dreamt I saw you last night" What a coincidence!

I replied, explaining in much less detail that I had too!

"I think, our brains are connected somehow." You wrote. I'm not surprised you have that opinion, we often think the same things spontaneously. "Perhaps, in an alternate universe, we don't go to India together, but somewhere else."

What a beautiful thought, that somewhere, somehow, we will always have some sort of significant impact in our lives together.

The movie *Cloud Atlas* came to mind.

It is now less than a week before I return home. You don't know yet.

**************************************************************************

*This is my first story. All happened this morning, had the day off so gave it a crack! :)*

title: When we were together again

question: What does the text say about the narrator's experience in India?

answer: They traveled to India for three months, and it was the best time of their life. They can't stop talking about the places they've been, the food they've eaten, and the people they've met. The narrator said that three months in India felt like a long-time ago.

critique: The narrator's experience in India is not the main focus of the story.

critique: It's omitted that the narrator recalls being blown away by the local food and experiencing some yoga classes.

critique: It is omitted that the narrator's best friend was there with them.

critique: The narrator's friend doesn't remember their time in India.

critique: The narrator mentions she and her friend were talking about India for the past month, so it's not accurate to say they can't stop talking about it.

text: The answer should mention that India was where the narrator and their friend went from being just friends to something more, but despite that, the narrator's friend doesn't remember India.

question: What does the text say about the narrator's family?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer can be inferred from the text.

critique: The answer should mention that the narrator's family is not mentioned.

critique: The response misses to mention that the narrator's family is not mentioned in the text.

critique: This summary needs an actual answer for the text to satisfactorily answer the question being asked.


text:
JOSEPH WANTON JR. (1730–1780) was a Loyalist, merchant, Deputy Governor of Rhode Island in 1764 and 1767 and owner of Hunter House in Newport, Rhode Island.

Wanton was born to Governor Joseph Wanton and Mary Winthrop Wanton of Newport on February 8, 1730. Wanton graduated from Harvard University in 1751 and was involved with privateers during the French and Indian War possibly where he attained the title of colonel. Wanton's first wife Abigail Honeyman, by whom he had 7 children, died in 1771. Wanton served as a vestryman at Trinity Church (Newport). Wanton was elected Deputy Governor of Rhode Island in 1764 and 1767.

Wanton was a loyalist during the American Revolution and was accused of treason and imprisoned by Rhode Island General William West while the British occupied Narragansett Bay in 1776. When the British occupied Newport, he raised troops for the Loyalist cause. In 1780 Wanton's property (Hunter House) was confiscated, and he fled Newport when the Americans reoccupied the city. Wanton likely died in New York in 1780 after fleeing there with the British.[1] In 1781 his widow Sarah Brenton Wanton (his second wife whom he married in 1775) unsuccessfully petitioned the State of Rhode Island to return of the confiscated Wanton properties in Newport, Jamestown, Prudence Island, and Gould Island.

[Wanton's House in Newport] Some genealogists speculate that Wanton became an Episcopal minister near Liverpool, England, although this seems inconsistent with other information about his life, including the 1780 burial record of one Col. Wanton in the churchyard at Trinity Wall Street Church, Manhattan. It is more likely that it was Joseph and Sarah's son; Joseph Brenton Wanton who went to Trinity College, Cambridge in October 1795, aged 18; and later became a minister in Liverpool, England.[2][3]

Joseph Brenton Wanton (JBW) was Joseph Wanton and Sarah Brenton's only child. Sarah Brenton Wanton remarried in 1784, to William Atherton 'Esquire of Jamaica' in Trinity Church, Newport, RI. William Atherton owned Green Park Plantation in Trelawney, Jamaica and Spring Vale Pen Plantation in St James, Jamaica.[4] Sarah died in July 1787 and was buried in Clifton Burying Ground, Newport. It is recorded in Trinity Church Archives that 'He [William Atherton] immediately after her [Sarah's] death disposed of his household goods and went to England, where he had a tablet prepared, and had it set up in the church [Trinity Church, Rhode Island] in Nov. 1788.' [5] In England, he bought Prescot Hall outside Liverpool. He apparently took his step-son, Joseph Brenton Wanton with him, who was registered in Manchester Grammar School.[6] and appears in Cambridge University Alumni as 'Joseph Brenton WAUTON, son of Joseph, Governor of Rhode Island', having been to Manchester & Macclesfield Schools, 'where it states that the name was originally WANTON'. All Joseph Brenton Wanton's children were called WAUTON although in his Will of 1841, he signs as 'Joseph Brenton WANTON'.[7] This seems to be when the name for this branch of the family was changed. In 1803 he married Mary Weston, daughter of a tanner from Halewood, Liverpool, and had 4 children, the two sons went to Cambridge and became ministers in the Church of England. JBW was a minister in the Church of England but retired through ill-health in 1819, living in Liverpool, the Isle of Man and Cheshire. He died in 1853.[8]

[1] Col. Wanton Burial Record, Trinity Church Wall Street, Manhattan

[2]

[3] History of the Episcopal Church in Narragansett by Wilkins Updike, James MacSparran, Daniel Goodwin (RI: Merrymount Press, 1907), 278. (Joseph Wanton Records, distinguished from Joseph Wanton, Sr.)]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

title: Joseph Wanton Jr.

question: What does the article say about Joseph Wanton Jr.'s children?

answer: He had seven children with his first wife Abigail Honeyman. Sarah Brenton Wanton remarried in 1784. His son Joseph Brenton Wanton was the only child of the two marriages. He was a minister in the Church of England but retired through ill-health in 1819.

critique: The answer omits that Joseph Brenton Wanton was the only child of the two marriages.

critique: The answer omits that Joseph Brenton Wanton had four children with his second wife.

critique: The answer omits that Joseph Brenton Wanton was the only child of Joseph and Sarah Brenton.

critique: The response includes extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: It is not stated that he had seven children with his first wife Abigail Honeyman.

critique: The answer omits the names of Wanton's children.

text: It is incorrect to state that Joseph Brenton Wanton was the only child of the two marriages. He was the only child of Joseph and Sarah, but Joseph had seven children with Abigail.

question: What does the article say about Wanton's properties that were confiscated?

answer: Wanton and his wife, Sarah, had 4 properties confiscated in Newport. His wife, Sarah, petitioned the State of Rhode Island in 1781 to return the properties, but her request was not granted.

critique: It is omitted that the properties were Hunter House, Newport, Jamestown, Prudence Island, and Gould Island.

critique: The answer omits the other two properties confiscated.

critique: This is not relevant to the question and should be omitted.

critique: The response should include that the properties were confiscated in 1780.

critique: The answer omits that the properties were confiscated in 1780.

critique: It's omitted that Sarah Brenton Wanton, his second wife, petitioned the State of Rhode Island to return the properties in Newport, Jamestown, Prudence Island, and Gould Island.

critique: The article does not mention that Sarah Brenton Wanton petitioned the State of Rhode Island to return the properties.

text: Not all four properties were located in Newport. The properties were in Newport, Jamestown, Prudence Island, and Gould Island.

question: What does the article say about Joseph Wanton Jr. being a merchant?

answer: No answer

critique: The article doesn't mention anything about Wanton being a merchant.

critique: Should say that he was a loyalist, merchant and owner of Hunter House in Newport, Rhode Island.

critique: The answer can't be found in the article.

question: What does the article say about Sarah Brenton?

answer: Sarah Brenton was the second wife of Joseph Wanton. She remarried in 1784 to William Atherton. She died in 1787 and was buried in Clifton Burying Ground, Newport.

critique: The answer omits that Sarah Brenton was the mother of Joseph Brenton Wanton.

critique: The answer omits Sarah Brenton's children and her husband's will.

critique: The answer is missing the birth year of Sarah Brenton.

critique: The answer should mention that Sarah Brenton was the mother of Joseph Brenton Wanton.

critique: The answer omits the children of Sarah Brenton and Joseph Brenton Wanton.

critique: "She remarried in 1784 to William Atherton" - is incorrect because she was already married to Atherton when she died in 1787.

critique: It's omitted that Sarah Brenton was the only child of Joseph and Sarah Brenton Wanton.


text:
[]

Today for Bundt Bakers I, am posting these beautiful and delicious Black Bottom Apple Bundlets. These are so cute, they do not require any icing or extra trimmings, they are so yum on it's own.

[]

By the way these are suitable for any occasion, a formal affair,  to a breakfast treat or will make an excellent dessert too, top them up with a scoop of ice cream - of your choice and serve.. yum yum..surely whoever part takes of this dessert are lucky to enjoy this.

For our event this month the theme is "Apples" and our Host isWendy Thank you Wendy for hosting this event.
 Few I, made in a aluminium bundt molds, these had to be loossend from the sides then unmold, the silcions one are the best for these Black Bottom Apple Bundlets.
 If you have any bundts remaining then refrigerate them. These taste yum even when cold.

_MAKES 12 BUNDLETS_

_INGREDIENTS_
_FOR THE APPLE TOPPING_
2  - 3 Big Apples - skinned and cubed
¼ Cup Brown Sugar
1 Tablespoon Heaped Unsalted butter
_FOR THE CREAM CHEESE TOPPING_
150 Grams Cream cheese
¼ Cup Brown Sugar
1 Large Egg
½ Teaspoon Vanilla essence
_FOR THE BLACK BOTTOM_
¾ Cup All Purpose Flour
½ Cup Apple Juice
3 Tablespoons Oil
¼ Cup Brown Sugar
3 Tablespoons  Cocoa powder
1½ Teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
½ Teaspoon Vanilla essence
½ Teaspoon Baking soda
½ Teaspoon Cinnamon powder
¼ Teaspoon Salt

_METHOD_

_FOR THE APPLE TOPPING_

[]

In a pan cook apples, brown sugar and the butter , Cook, stirring once, 5 minutes or until apples are caramelized.

[]

Let cool.
_FOR THE CREAM CHEESE TOPPING_

[]

Meanwhile  in a bowl beat cream cheese, brown sugar, vanilla essence and the egg until smooth, light and fluffy . Set aside.
_FOR THE BLACK BOTTOM_

[]

In another bowl place the remaining  brown sugar, cinnamon powder, cocoa powder, flour, baking soda, salt, vanilla essence, apple cider vinegar, apple juice (except cooked apples) and whisk until well blended.

Divide evenly among  the bundts - at the bottom add a tablespoon cocoa mix then a heaped tablespoon cream cheese mixture, top each with a tablespoon apples.

[]

These beauties are ready to go into the oven.

Bake 20 to 25 minutes in a preheated oven at 180 degrees C or until cheese mixture has puffed and set.

[]

Ready and out..hmmm

Cool them on a wire rack completely,  before removing from  the moulds.

[]

Enjoy them with a cuppa or tea or coffee.

[]

  Serve them as a dessert with a scoop of ice cream of your choice.. yum yum.

_LABELS :_ Bundt Bakers, Bundts, Apple, Black Bottom Apple Bundlets, Healthy, Cream Cheese, Baked

Take a look at the Apple Bundts other's are sharing today.
Apple Bundt with Caramel Glazeby A Day in the Life on the Farm
Apple Butterscotch Bundt Cake by Katin špajz|
Apple Crumb Ring Bundt by Living the Gourmet
Apple Zucchini Nut Mini Bundtsby All That's Left Are The Crumbs
Black Bottom Apple Bundlets by Sneha's Recipe
Caramel Apple Bundt Cake by Merce`s Cake
Quinoa and apple bundtcake with rumby Cookpad
Reduced Carb Apple Pecan Spice Cakeby Palatable Pastime
Toffee Apple Bread Pudding Bundtby Food Lust People Love
Vegan Apple & Oats Mini Bundt Cakes by Patty's Cake

question: Alter the recipe in order to make 6 bundlets instead of 12.

answer: No answer

critique: The question is asking for an alteration to the recipe, not a recipe.

critique: It's not clear how long the recipe asks you bake. However, as we were only feeding 6 and cutting the recipe in half, it should take half the time. Reduce the baking time to 10-15 minutes.

critique: The question is asking for a response, so a response must be given.