text:
This is my first post of my writing. Feedback, good or bad, is appreciated. Enjoy.

Dr Howard Corbin

Dr Corbin was eating dinner with his new wife and her ingrate son. Chicken, 3 months of marriage and they had chicken 32 times. His child bride, Sheila, was 23 years his junior. He used to love chicken. His mother would wring its neck and bleed it out Sunday after church. He would watch it die, discretely. He was fascinated by that instant when the certainty of one's death is accepted. As a young man, in the triage tent on the "front line" of Vietnam conflict, he used to work with an erection. Not a raging one. It would just waggle in his boxers and rub against his thigh. He was a demigod, choosing who would receive grace through his over skilled hands and who was not worth the effort. He had met Sheila 8 years after his first wife left him. He hasn't done anything wrong. You aren't the man I married his ex would scream, every fucking fight. Of course I'm not, we got married 22 years ago. "I" grew up. She would slam the door of the house she had wanted, he had paid for, get into the sl500, slam the door on the car he bought her. Then drive to the bar and would buy her drinks on his amex. Maybe after a bad fight she would take a bar fly to a motel near the airport paid again with his credit card. Sheila had been introduced at a dull dinner a friend had thrown. She had walked in just as soup was put on the table. It was a magical moment. He had just put a large forkful of salad in his mouth. A rivulet of dressing slid down from the corner of his mouth unheeded. To say she was striking would be ungenerous.

Mrs Sheila Corbin

Sheila was born in Cambodia in 1974. She always thinks of it as being sold into slavery. In reality she was adopted shortly after her birth because most of her family had been killed, Her mother dying during Sheila's birth. She was fortunate to be "purchased" by a kind english family. She was fed and schooled with the other children by the rest of the house staff. She was released from service to attend college and never looked back to Asia, there was nothing there for her. She came to university of Maryland on a partial scholarship. The boys went crazy for her, Asian with a clipped British accent. She took lovers. They gave her things. Beautiful things. She donated them to churches, she was not a whore paid in jewelry. In her junior year she was dating a poly sci major. He was going places, he had interned in a senator's office. On Saturday night after an epic party they went back to his swanky apartment. They made beautiful love and Ryan. She didn't hate the baby, just resented him. He represented a door that had closed for her. She barely finished school while raising an infant. The poly sci major slowly pulled away after she told him that it was immoral to have an abortion. He sent her a $3,000 check after the birth. What the hell was $3,000 for and how did he decide on that number? She cashed it, only because she needed the money. She was 29 when she met Dr. Corbin, Ryan was 9. She loved him almost instantly. She had tried, on her own and through therapy to find out why. He was old and white so he seemed so much older. White men after 50, yuck. They are falling apart from the roof to the basement. He is kind and a doctor, if there had been a doctor at her birth at least her mother would be alive and she could have stayed with her family in Asia. That was the best answer she could come up with. So much kinder and serene than those self proclaimed spiritual men. 9 out of 9 times what you saw is what you got from Howard. One therapist said it was transference, never knowing her own father, I desire to have an intimate relationship with him. At the end of the session she invited her to coffee, on the pretext of talking about the therapy. She politely told her no and that she would be cancelling the rest of her appointments.

The Corbins

The doctor, as she always thought of him, had swept her off her tiny feet. They sat drinking brandy in the library, after the dinner party, until their friend, almost physically, kicked them out. They went across Martinsburg to the waffle house that was barely open. It was 3am and the Beaver Dam strip club hadn't swept its citizen debris to this side of the street yet. They talked, they laughed, his honesty drove her to truth. Her pat story of her childhood unraveled until the thread of history lay bare between them. Of course the "truth" is not a complete factual reenactment, but the omission of the all the lies. They had finished their pecan pie and drinking the dirty water, represented as coffee on the menu. Three sirens walked in. Their clothes unsuited for the November night. A down vest over a white tank top over nothing. Yoga pants and ugg boots. Was it the uniform of strippers going home? They ordered quickly, the young man behind the counter was shy but his desire radiated off him like a neon sign. The girls flirted, probably without realizing it. After they made their orders, and the man's night, they sat in the back giggling and waiting for the numbers to be called. A pair of street toughs walked in loudly. Without making eye contact with the boy behind the counter they turned to the booths. They had already cased the joint. Walking by the doctor and Sheila, the black one looked in the dr's eyes, puts a hand with bloodied knuckles on his shoulder and says nice pull grampa. They sit with the girls, boxing them in. Used to being in control of their interactions with the "clients", one of them start berating them. The Dr can't see what is happening past the high backed booths but he does see the kid behind the counter move down the bar and reach for an invisible shotgun. Howard, the dr, excused himself from Sheila. He walked over to the table that the 5 of them sat. What do you want old timer asked the scrawny white one. Just making sure these ladies were enjoying your company Howard replied. He casually drew back the right side of his sport coat revealing the pearl handle of the Colt .45 he had carried with him since he moved to WV. The gun was his sidearm from Vietnam. The handles a gift from his father for returning safely from fixing the boys when they got shot up in the war. One of the girls felt the temperature drop and almost knock the black teen on his ass pushing her way out of the booth. Your order is ready said the counter boy, the girls went to collect the greasy bags. The toughs retreated giving Howard a hard look. Helena gave him a kiss on the cheek on her way past.

title: [RF] The Corbins

question: Summarize Sheila's personal life.

answer: Sheila's life started with her being sold into slavery just after her birth. She lived a life in good fortune when she was adopted by a good English family. Sheila received everything a good education and was able to study at the University of Maryland. It was there that she also discovered she loved older men and found one in Dr Howard Corbin, her current husband.

critique: The entire answer is made up. The article has no mention of how Sheila's life started out or caused her to meet Dr. Corbin. The final point is even more inaccurate because Sheila's love interest in Dr. Corbin was because he was an older, stable man, not older than her.

critique: The phrasing of the last sentence is a bit confusing.

critique: It is omitted that Sheila had a son, Ryan, with a poly sci major.

critique: Sheila's life started with her being sold into slavery just after her birth. She lived a life in good fortune when she was adopted by a good English family. Sheila received everything a good education and was able to study at the University of Maryland. It was there that she also discovered she loved older men and found one in Dr Howard Corbin, her current husband.

question: What were the circumstances that led to Howard's wife leaving him before he eventually remarried?

answer: Shortly after their marriage, Howard's first wife became less in love with him, presumably due in part to the fact that she was younger than him and maybe also her own lack of desire to love anymore. He offered her money to stay, but she was found to have had a relationship with a number of different men, resulting in her being in the city with one at excessive periods and spending those times in hotels with them. On top of all this, it appears that she was bipolar. Despite these things, Howard once loved her very much.

critique: Only one of Howard's wives is to blame for his relationship strife, the first. The second is nothing like the first.

text:
- Howard's first wife did not leave him because she is younger.
- Howard never offered her money to stay with him.
- There is no evidence she was sleeping with other men.

refinement: Shortly after their marriage, Howard's first wife became less in love with him, presumably due in part to the fact that she was younger than him and maybe also her own lack of desire to love anymore. He offered her money to stay, but she was found to have had a relationship with a number of different men, resulting in her being in the city with one at excessive periods and spending those times in hotels with them. On top of all this, it appears that she was bipolar. Despite these things, Howard once loved her very much.


split: train

text:
DOUG HATTAWAY is an American communications consultant, political advisor, and businessman, currently serving as the founder and CEO of Hattaway Communications, Inc., a strategic communications firm based in Washington, D.C. Hattaway was a senior adviser to Hillary Clinton during the 2008 Democratic Party presidential primaries, as well as Al Gore’s spokesman during the 2000 United States presidential election.[1] He was reported by _The Washington Post_ to be on a short list of candidates to serve as White House Press Secretary in the Obama Administration.[2]

Early life and education

Hattaway was born in 1964 and grew up in Tallahassee, Florida.[3] He graduated from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism in 1986 with a Bachelor of Science in Journalism and a major in Political Science. He received his Master of Arts in English from Florida State University.

Career

From 1986 to 1989, Hattaway was press secretary to Representative Andy Ireland (R-FL), who had been elected in 1973 as a Democrat, but switched parties in 1984. Hattaway worked for Rep. Ireland when he was a member of the House Armed Services and Intelligence committees and co-chair of the Defense Burden Sharing Panel, which examined U.S. defense policy in Europe.

During the 1990s, he worked as a freelance correspondent, writing about politics, economics and environmental issues in South and Central America, Northern Ireland, and the Caribbean.

Hattaway served as press secretary for New Hampshire Governor Jeanne Shaheen from 1997 to 1999.

In 2000, Hattaway became the New Hampshire spokesman for the Al Gore 2000 presidential campaign during the primary against Senator Bill Bradley. He was then promoted to become the campaign’s national spokesman. He became the campaign’s primary voice during the Florida recount. After a controversial Supreme Court decision halted the recount, Hattaway told _The New York Times_, “If you count the voter’s intent, Gore wins. If you look for excuses not to count votes, Bush does better.”[4]

After the 2000 election, Hattaway went to Capitol Hill to work for then-Senate Democratic Leader Tom Daschle as communications director, beginning work shortly before the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks and was still in the position when Senator Daschle’s Washington, D.C., office received a piece of mail containing anthrax. Hattaway told _PRWeek_, “I thought I had a good crisis communications experience after the Florida recount. Now I’ve got September 11 and anthrax. It’s not the kind of crisis management experience you want.”[5]

His company, Hattaway Communications, serves high-profile clients in politics, government, advocacy, business and philanthropy, including the world's largest foundations. The firm's stated mission is to “help visionary leaders and organizations achieve ambitious goals that benefit people and the planet.”[6]

Hattaway has appeared frequently as an analyst and commentator on CNN and MSNBC.

Personal life

Hattaway is openly gay, and was married to Jarrett Barrios, CEO of the American Red Cross Los Angeles Region and former member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives.[7][8]

[1]

[2] https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/27/AR2011012702714.html

[3]  Doug Hattaway|website=www.discoverthenetworks.org|access-date=2020-04-19}}

[4]

[5]

[6] http://www.hattaway.com/

[7]

[8]

title: Doug Hattaway

question: Has Hattaway ever worked outside of politics?

answer: It is not stated.

critique: It is stated that he worked as a freelance correspondent in the 1990s.


text:
Damn. Now I really didn't see this happening. Of all the things to happen at this bland school and this is the shit that happens. Wow. I guess I'm getting a bit carried, let me start from the beginning.
          My school, Jefferson Middle School, is rather boring, nothing really exciting happens here except the occasional girl drama that usally goes like, "Brian likes me! Not you, skany hoe!" And ends in a matter of three days. I'm usually quiet, if you were to call me "popular girl," you would be wrong but calling me a "nerd" wouldn't be right either. I was just sort of there. I had my friends and that's all I needed. That's where this story starts. With my friend, Daniel. Daniel was a pretty intresting boy. All acceralted classes, loved video games and comics, and wasn't bad looking at all. Over the first year of middle school, Daniel and I became pretty close. Hanging out after school and learning about eachother. It was pretty nice. Daniel loved life and he wasn't afraid to show it. If he had something to say, oh would he say it, but he was never disrespectful about it. He was always being a gentlemen. People always said shit about him.
         "Oh! Did you hear about Daniel? I heard he was sucking cock in the bathroom!"
         "Daniel the fag!"
         "Daniel should go burn in fucking hell with all the other fags that enjoy buttsex!" Get the trend here? They kept on saying he was gay, over and over. Through messages on Facebook, notes, or even writing on bathroom walls, which is very cliche. There have been times where I have asked if he was gay and I would get the same answer every time.
          "Do you think I am?" Over and over, he never changed it. Daniel was really proud and he felt as if he shouldn't state if he were gay or not and I really admire that about him. 8th grade started and I assumed that the gay jokes would have gotten old by now, but they didn't. They actual got worse. More people started calling him a "fag, dick-sucker," and spreading rumors that I don't even wanna remember. I noticed a change in Daniel, he wasn't as outgoing, didn't speak his mind, became less quite, less proud. I tried helping him, I really did but it never worked. He seemed to just become more depressed. Those kids never noticed either, they just attacked him more and more, getting more ruthless with each insult. This drama was lasting way more than three days and I wasn't sure what would happen. Shit even got worsed.
          That's when I heard the intercom come on one day during class.
       "Students, I am sad to announce that our student, Daniel Rigsbee, has died yesterday." They didn't tell us how he died, but we all knew. He killed himself. The voice of the principal announcing his death was so fucking emotionless, it made it seem as if Daniel was some character in a movie that died. Everyone was silent. I was filled with anger. Those ruthless bastards did this. They didn't know when to stop. The minute the bell rang, I sprinted to his house asking if it was true was they said today. His father simply nodded and beckoned me in. He said that there was a note left in his room directed to me and "bitches." I walked to his room, feeling as if I was going to puke. I found the note, all directed in rainbows, colors, and smiley faces. It made me sick. I opened the note with nervoness and read.
        "Dear Juno and the son of bitches at school. Let me make this clear. I am not fucking gay. I am as straight as the pole your mom dances on. I should not have to tell people this, it's my life and you shouldn't be butting in. Pun intended. You caused this and I hope you feel great. You did it! You've killed me! I'm not gonna say that this wasn't your guys' fault because fuck that. It totally was. I hope you live with that burden that you killed me for your whole life. Juno, I hope you live a great life and don't cry over me, you didn't cause this. You are amazing and don't let people do what they did to me to you. I would punch their neck. (:
                                            Bye,
                                                  Daniel-Not fucking gay-Rigsbee
        What the fuck? That wasn't sad at all. This was the Daniel that I knew. He killed himself because he was done of the shit. I don't think he felt sorry or anything. I don't even know. As I turned to leave, I found something else. It was another note reading, "I hope this was exciting enough for you, Juno. I am a coward. I wasn't gonna deal with this anymore. They didn't win, remerber that. I won. They get to deal with my death. -Daniel"
         Fucking. Daniel.

title: Uhhmm...Well I'm 13 and I would like to be a writer when I get older so here's one of my short stories. Reviews? Be honest.

question: What does the story say about bullying?

answer: The author believes bullies didn't care about Daniel and that their bullying tactics might have made Daniel commit suicide. She believes the bullies are the ones who killed her friend. She points out that the bullies were unrelenting, and the only resolution he could find was to kill himself.

critique: The first sentence is a bit confusing. It would be better to say that the author believes bullies didn't care about Daniel and that their bullying tactics might have made him commit suicide.

question: Summarize the narrator's relationship with Daniel.

answer: Juno and Daniel are best friends and have been since 8th grade. She cares deeply for him. However, she didn't notice the student body's cruelty towards him. She was angry when she heard he committed suicide.

critique: The answer should mention that Daniel is the one who committed suicide.

critique: The narrator's anger at Daniel's death is omitted.

question: Summarize the school's reaction to Daniel's death.

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the school's reaction was emotionless.

question: What does the story say about the bullies' reaction to Daniel's note?

answer: No answer

critique: The response can include the actual content of the note because it's declared to be public in the story.

critique: The response is incorrect. The story does not say anything about the bullies' reaction to Daniel's note.

critique: The response is not related to the passage.

critique: The answer should mention that the bullies did not react to the note.

critique: The answer should mention that the bullies didn't have a reaction.


text:
MAANSHAN IRON & STEEL COMPANY LIMITED, known as MAANSHAN IRON & STEEL or just '''Masteel ''' (in Chinese MAGANG) is a Chinese listed company which engaged in steel manufacturing. The company was based in Ma'anshan, Anhui province. Since its establishment in 1993, it was controlled by the Chinese governments. However, the indirect parent company was changed to central government owned China Baowu Steel Group in June 2019, after the Group acquired 51% stake of Masteel Group, the direct parent company of the listed company from the Anhui provincial government.

History

Predecessor

[former logo] The history of the steel plant could be traced back to “Ma'anshan Iron Mining Plant”, established in 1953.[1] The steel plant was renamed to “Ma'anshan Iron and Steel Company”,[2] ( or transliterated as “Ma'anshan Iron and Steel Corporation”). In the 1950s, it was considered as one of the 5 medium-sized steel plants of the People's Republic of China,[3] behind the top 3 at that time: Anshan, Wuhan and Baotou.[4] In the 1970s, the production process of the Group mainly comprised cooking, sintering, iron smelting, steel smelting and rolling.[5]

Maanshan Iron & Steel Company Limited

In 1993, Maanshan Iron & Steel Company Limited was established to list the steel manufacturing assets in the stock exchanges, auxiliary divisions were not listed.[6] The old “Ma'anshan Iron and Steel Company” was renamed to “Magang Holding Company”, but remained as the parent and the holding company of the listed company. It was one of the first Chinese state-owned enterprises to be a listed company.[7]

In 1998 the parent company was renamed into Magang (Group) Holding Co., Ltd.,[8] but commonly known as Masteel Group.

In the 2010s, the listed company had become a supplier of the train wheels and tires for China Railway High-speed trains such as Fuxing.[9]

In 2016, as part of the national policy to retire old-age steel production facilities as well as scale-down steel production volume, Maanshan Iron & Steel started to retire some of their production line. In 2018, the retirement was completed.[10]

Controversies

In 2015, hundreds[11]{{#tag:ref|According to a self-published news report in _boxun.com_, 5,000 people were involved in January 2016 protest which was held in a square of the former steel plant, with some protesters had blocked the traffic near the gate of the steel plant,[12] while _Financial Times_ reported hundreds of protesters were on the street in 2015.[13] The same _Boxun_ news report also stated the previous protest was held in April 2014, in the form of labour strike.[14] Both sources confirmed the existence of protest(s) but contradicted on details.|group=“nb”}} of lay-off workers protested the closing of a steel plant of the listed company in Hefei, the capital of Anhui province, demanding a fairer compensation.[15][16] The plant was formerly known as “Hefei Iron and Steel” ( or in short )[17] but renamed to “Masteel (Hefei) Iron and Steel” () after became a subsidiary of Maanshan Iron and Steel. It was closed down due to heavy pollution.[18][19] Some part of the Hefei steel plant had become a national monument, as the first steel plant (instead of iron) of the province.[20]

In early 2016, fellow Chinese steel maker and later the parent company Baosteel Group (now China Baowu Steel Group) was accused by US Steel Corporation of stealing commercial secrets. Baosteel rejected these allegations.[21] The United States International Trade Commission (ITC) launched a probe into these allegations in May 2016, which Maanshan Iron and Steel was included in the investigation along with other Chinese steel maker such as Wuhan Iron and Steel,[22] which was also part of China Baowu Steel Group since 2016.

Footnotes

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

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[14]

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[19]

[20]

[21]

[22]

title: Maanshan Iron & Steel

question: What does the text say about the company's predecessor?

answer: The company's history can be traced back to "Ma'anshan Iron Mining Plant," which was established in 1953. The steel plant was renamed to "Ma'anshan Iron and Steel Company" in the 1950s. It was considered as one of the 5 medium-sized steel plants of the People's Republic of China in the 1950s. The steel plant was closed due to heavy pollution in 2018.

critique: The last sentence is not relevant to the question.

critique: The last sentence is irrelevant to the question.

critique: The steel plant was closed in 2016, not 2018.

critique: "It was considered as one of the 5 medium-sized steel plants of the People's Republic of China in the 1950s. The steel plant was closed due to heavy pollution in 2018." - irrelevant and overselling the plant's demise, which had nothing to do with the company's predecessor. Should be removed.

critique: The steel plant was not closed in 2018. It was closed in 2016.

critique: "The steel plant was closed due to heavy pollution in 2018." - this is incorrect. The steel plant was closed in 2016.

question: What does the text say about controversy around the company in 2016?

answer: In 2016, the company was accused by US Steel Corporation of stealing commercial secrets. The United States International Trade Commission launched a probe into these allegations in May 2016.

critique: The answer omits the controversy around the company's lay-offs.

critique: Doesn't mention the protests that occurred.

critique: The answer should mention the lay-off workers' protest.

critique: The answer could be clearer in its pronoun use.

critique: The answer does not mention the lay-off workers protesting the closing of a steel plant.

critique: The company was also accused of heavy pollution.

question: What does the text say about the company's plans for the future?

answer: No answer

critique: The answer should mention that the company's future plans are not discussed in the text.

critique: The company's plans are not mentioned in the text.


text:
Golden stalks of grain danced in the wind as we sped past them. The field around me undulated in the wind like a tumultuous sea. The setting sun bathed the world in red and orange, glaring harshly through my back seat window. Dust from the road coated the glass, masking the outside world in a hazy gauze.
Lost in a world of my own, I imagined the oncoming truck to be a majestic galleon, flying the royal colors of the evil king.
“Helmsman! Bring er’ round to broadside!” I shouted to my mother in the front seat. She jumped, swerving our car out of the lane onto the shoulder of the road. The car behind us honked ferociously as it sped around us.
“What did I say? Stop your stupid games, sit down, and shut up!” She spat.
“Aye, captain,” I murmured quietly, so she wouldn’t hear. I returned to my window, defeated.
I tried to make out the murky shapes in the distance. Was that a sea serpent peeking its head above the waves? Had some monster of the deep braved the airy world to satisfy its curiosity of the land dwellers?  I turned to my mother, desperate to question her about the “lock-less” monster the older kids at school had warned me about. But Mother didn’t appreciate questions. I looked back to the window, watching for more monsters.
I tried to give up my musing to watch the lines of the road zip by. The tiny reflectors picked up our car headlights and gleamed brilliantly. I couldn’t help but imagine a group of sea creatures flaunting their fluorescent bodies. Our vessel glided over the glassy waters they danced together in, oblivious of the magic below it.
Every summer we made this trip. We spent hours on empty highways in silence, save for the occasional static filled radio channel or empty conversation. We were headed to my father’s house, or in my mind, home.
I treasured the few precious holidays I spent with him. Normally, he would have met us halfway to liberate me, but he had been called to an important meeting. I imagined how I would have rejoiced in my freedom, shouting orders to my father.
“Veer slightly right, Captain!” I would have commanded.
“Nay, landluver! Tis starboard ye’ be wantin!” He would have replied in his best seafaring accent.
I groaned in frustration.
I hated how boring it was with her. My choice of literature quickly became contraband. “Magic and fantasy,” she would say, “are inappropriate for a young Christian boy.” Video games and secular music were often subjects of debate as well, and she usually confiscated anything she could lay her hands on.
Imagination was my only refuge when my mother came home howling and sobbing again. It became my best friend when she would announce year after successive year that we would be moving, so she could find a new job or meet a new man. I often wondered where “home” would be when I returned from my visits.
So, instead of reading my copy of Harry Potter tucked neatly away in a corner pocket of my backpack, or playing on the GameBoy I’d smuggled in my jacket, I watched the road speed by.
My imagination became the adventure I longed for. There I could be the handsome airship pilot, standing behind a polished wooden helm, studying the clouds drift lazily below me. Sometimes I was an edgey detective, tailing a suspicious broad in a rainy, monochrome street. Other days, I was a wizened and greying wizard standing in my tower above the city, creating a spectacle of light for the people below to marvel at. When it rained I was a dark and mysterious ranger, inching my way through a forest and searching for my prey. Most days I was the captain of a sea vessel, strong and courageous, barking orders to my crew.
The sun had set and the moon stood vigil over the land. The ever silent sentinel cast light over the sea of grain. I wondered what kind of crew would be bunking on my ship at this time of night. Would my ship be manned by the most dastardly dogs of the rough seas? Would I pirate and loot the great, rich, pompous cities of the world and spread my wealth to the poor? Or would I be a member of the most dashing and refined men to ever set sail, treading new waters for kings? I liked to imagine I would be the former.
“Son,” my mother interrupted my thoughts, “Look, I know I’m hard on you sometimes, and moving to and fro all the time isn’t easy for you,” She turned to me, her face stern and beautiful as always, “And I’m sorry. But I love you very much, and I only want what’s best for the both of us.” Her face softened as she turned back to the road. “It’s hard for me too.”
I sat silently, my imagination stilled.
“I know sometimes you think of moving to your father’s house like you other siblings did, but I need someone to be the man of the house, son,” she said. “Please don’t leave me, okay? Will you promise to stay and be my captain?”
She was right, I wanted to escape sometimes, but I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her alone. Besides, she could take away my books and games, but my imagination was my own.
“Aye” I promised her.
And that seemed to make everything okay.

(Posted from my phone,  so please excuse the formatting! I submitted this in my schools' writing competition and won first prize, but it's a pretty small school, so I'd like to get this out there and get some criticism from a broader audience. Thanks in advance you beautiful people!)

title: [RF] A Captain's Oath (Feedback wanted!)

question: What does the story say about the type of relationship the narrator has with his mother?

answer: The narrator has an up and down relationship with his mother. They have a mother/son crash relationship. She criticizes his reading habits but also tells him that she loves him. She takes away his video games, books and things he loves to do but she can't take away his imagination.

critique: The narrator's relationship with his mother is not described as a "crash" relationship.

critique: "They have a mother/son crash relationship." - this part is confusing and should be deleted.

critique: The narrator's relationship with his mother is not described as "up and down".

critique: "She criticizes his reading habits but also tells him that she loves him." - is inaccurate. The narrator's mother doesn't allow him to read fantasy books, play video games, and listen to secular music.

critique: Making the works of imagination feel "similar" to the video games is not the same as saying that it is a "crash type" relationship

critique: The answer is written in a confusing manner. It should be rewritten.

question: Summarize everything relating to imagination.

answer: The narrator imagines the oncoming truck to be a majestic galleon. He imagines the murky shapes in the distance to be sea creatures. He imagines himself as a handsome airship pilot, an edgey detective, a wizened wizard, a dark ranger, and a captain of a sea vessel. He imagines himself as a pirate or a member of the most dashing and refined men to ever set sail.

critique: The response omitted some of the narrator's imaginings.

critique: The answer could mention that imagination is his only refuge.

critique: Doesn't mention the role imagination plays in his life.

critique: The narrator is a boy, so he should be referred to as a "he"

question: What does the story say about the narrator's father?

answer: The narrator's father is rarely around, but when he is, he is a source of comfort and freedom for the narrator. The narrator imagines his father as a source of adventure and fun, and he longs to be reunited with him. The narrator's father is also a source of stability for the narrator's mother, and the narrator can't stand the thought of leaving her alone.

critique: The narrator's father is not a source of comfort and freedom for the narrator.

critique: The narrator's father is not a source of comfort and freedom for the narrator. The narrator's mother is a source of comfort and freedom for the narrator.

critique: The narrator's father is never a source of comfort and freedom for the narrator.

critique: The narrator's father is also a source of stability for the narrator.

critique: The opening line of the story already specifies that the narrator is the one who's rarely around.

text: The narrator's father is not a source of stability for the mother, they're separated.

category: accuracy

question: Summarize the narrator's career as a captain.

answer: The narrator imagines himself as the captain of a ship of many different arrangements. Sometimes his crew consists of dogs, sometimes of the most dastardly men in the great seas. He always likes the idea of being a pirate. He also tried out being an airship pilot or a wizard, or even just a typical man on the street.

critique: It doesnt state he tried being or imagines himself as a wizard or an airship pilot or a man on the street.

critique: The narrator's career as a captain is not mentioned in the passage.

critique: The narrator is never an airship pilot or a wizard.

critique: The last sentence is irrelevant to the question.


text:
_'Edmund (or EDMOND) Meyrick_' (or MEYRICKE) (1636 – 24 April 1713) was a Welsh cleric and benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name. He is a member of the Meyrick family.

Life

Meyrick was born at Garthlwyd, Llandderfel (near Bala, Merionethshire) and christened in Llandderfel on 11 June 1636. He attended four schools, including one year at Ruthin School, before matriculating at Jesus College, Oxford in 1656. He was elected to a scholarship in 1658 and obtained his BA degree in 1659.[1] He was ordained both deacon and priest by Robert Skinner, Bishop of Oxford, on 30 August 1660 in the chapel of New College, Oxford.[2] In 1662, he was elected to a probationary Fellowship of the college, but married in 1663 and became ineligible for a full fellowship. He became vicar of Eynsham on 10 August 1663.[3] He was chaplain to Richard, Earl of Carbery — the Meyricks and the Carberys being related – and this connection led to Meyrick's appointment to a number of lucrative positions in West Wales.[4] Meyrick became vicar of Llangathen in 1665, vicar of Llanegwad and a Canon of St David's Cathedral in 1667, rector of Burton, Pembrokeshire in 1670, treasurer of St David's in 1690 and rector of Penboyr in 1713. He was also a canon of Christ College, Brecon and vicar of Carmarthen; he held many of these positions at the same time. He died in Carmarthen, where he was then living, on 24 April 1713, and was buried in St Peter's Church; a memorial to him was placed on the north wall of the chancel.[5]

Bequests

Meyrick's wife and only child had predeceased him, enabling a more generous disposition of his assets.[6] He had extensive property interests, in both North and South Wales. The family seat was in Ucheldre, Gwyddelwern, Merionethshire and Meyrick also owned several houses in Carmarthen.[7] In 1708, he set up a charity school in Carmarthen but for some reason directed in his will that the school and master should be moved to Bala, where it became the Bala Grammar School.[8] The will provided for an annual payment of £15 to the schoolmaster together with the use of the schoolhouse, and £15 per year for clothing for the students.[9]

His will, dated 25 March 1712, said: He left family property in Denbighshire and Merionethshire, as well as his Carmarthen property after expiration of some life interests, to the college to provide six scholarships of £10 and six exhibitions of £8. The scholarships and exhibitions were to be awarded to Jesus College students from North Wales, until they obtained their Master of Arts degree or were receiving more than £40 per year from a parish appointment. Any surplus was to be used to buy advowsons so that the College might present one of the scholars (or in default of a suitable scholar, a Meyrick exhibitioner or a North Wales fellow of the College) to a parish position.[10] Whilst the estate produced a surplus, only one living was purchased by the trustees, that of the rectory of Llandow in 1735. Further increases in the surplus led to an increase in payments to Bala School and to the scholars and exhibitioners, and to the purchase of other property in Cheltenham and Carmarthen.[11][12] This proved to be a profitable investment since, by 1840, the college had received more than £10,000 through the sale of trust land near Cheltenham for railway purposes. Payments to Bala School ended in 1862, when the annual payments were commuted for a lump-sum payment of £5,333.[13]

Meyrick scholarships and exhibitions are still awarded to students at Jesus College, based on academic merit. Students performing consistently at a first-class standard during the year in the opinion of their tutors may be awarded a Meyrick scholarship, with consistent performance at upper second to first-class standard potentially leading to the award of a Meyrick exhibition.[14] The restriction in Meyrick's bequest that the scholarships were for students from North Wales only was relaxed in 1857 to cover students from all of Wales and Monmouthshire.[15][16] The restrictions have been further relaxed and students who were not born in Wales are also now eligible for a Meyrick scholarship or exhibition if they are the child of a native of Wales, are able to speak Welsh or they were educated for the last three years of secondary school in Wales.[17]

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

[6]

[7]

[8]

[9]

[10]

[11]

[12]

[13] Baker, p. 62

[14]

[15]

[16] Hardy, p. 197

[17]

title: Edmund Meyrick

question: Describe Meyrick's relationship to Wales.

answer: He appears to have had strong ties to Wales. He attended schools there, was a clergyman there, and owned a house there.

critique: He is buried in Wales, which may be more indicative of the strength of the relationship to Wales.

critique: It is omitted that he was also a member of the Meyrick family.

critique: "He appears to have had strong ties to Wales" is not a very specific answer to the question. It would be better to rewrite the answer completely.

critique: Meyrick had extensive property interests in North and South Wales.

critique: He also held several positions in West Wales.

critique: The response misses to mention that he was also a benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name.

critique: It would help if it is stated that Meyrick was a clergyman based in West Wales.

critique: It should be pointed out that his most lucrative connections were in West Wales, not all of Wales

critique: Meyrick also received many lucrative positions in West Wales.

critique: He also seems to have had an extensive property portfolio in Wales.

critique: This is an accurate fact, but it does not show the extent of Meyrick's relationship to Wales.

critique: Meyrick was a clergyman in Wales, but the answer should mention that he was also a benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford.

critique: The response misses to mention that Meyrick was a Welsh cleric and benefactor of Jesus College, Oxford, where scholarships are still awarded in his name.

text: Meyrick was a Welshman; his relationship to the country is that he was born, lived, and died there. The response should reflect this information.

category: coverage

refinement: He appears to have had strong ties to Wales. He attended schools there, was a clergyman there, and owned a house there.

question: When did Meyrick live?

answer: 1636 to 1713

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.

critique: The answer should give the dates in a proper format.

critique: He died in 1713, but this doesn't mean that he was born in 1636.

critique: The answer should be written in a full sentence.

critique: Include the month and year of Meyrick's death in the answer.

critique: It is omitted that he was born in 1636 and died in 1713.

text: The answer should include the month and day of Meyrick's death, and should be a complete sentence.


text:
_THE OLD RED HIPPOPOTAMUS_ is the second novel by Hussein Bassir, following _In Search For Khnum_, and was published in 2005 by the Egyptian General Organization of the Book of Cairo. Like the previous novel, this new story is inspired by the legacy of ancient Egypt, while using modern stylistic techniques to express poetic and legendary happenings. This new adventure describes a fiction whose allusions and implications could almost place the reader in contemporary Egypt.

Plot summary

The first chapter of the novel is called ‘Desher Wer,’ which means ‘old red’ in Ancient Egyptian. This term for the hippopotamus, of outstanding longevity milestone, gives the novel its title ‘The Old Red’.

Before the reader meets the Old Red, he begins to discover the village of 'Per Mora' or ‘the House of Mora’, who is the goddess of the village, the giant goddess of fertility and love, because most events take place on its area.

Then the reader meets the grandfather Anatem, the legendary founder of the village. From him is descended Onan, the main character and master of the places with which the second chapter of the novel is particularly concerned.

Then the reader discovers the eternal lake which the villagers and the other artisans depend on for their food by fishing.

Finally, the reader begins to learn about ‘the old red hippopotamus,’ the lord of the lake and exclusive controller of the village and its people. Readers will appreciate the human side of the ‘old red’ as he waits for the birth of his offspring, in a state of stress and anxiety that develops during foaling as he dreams of perhaps this time having a male baby to inherit his kingdom. The reader also learns about the villagers and their activities and also the goddess Mora, the beautiful brunette mistress of the village.

The real torment for the villagers is that as they sleep during the night, hippopotami eat the harvest they have struggled to grow. So they seek revenge on his herd of hippos and their leader the Old Red. After careful planning, Naram, the only son of the master of the village Onan, makes a trap with which he manages to catch the small hippopotamus, the only son of the Old Red, the master of the lake. The furious Old Red decides on reprisals against the entire village and it attacks and kills both Naram, the only son of the village master Onan, and his wife Myriam as they sail in a felucca in the middle of the lake. However, it pushes the cradle of their baby Asheel to the shore but despite this kindness, rivalry increases between the Old Red the master of the lake and Onan master of the village.

The second chapter of the novel, entitled ‘Onan,’ begins with his biography and the reason for his revenge on the Old Red for killing his son after the murder of his offspring, the little red. The chapter ends with the disappearance of Onan and his execution by the ‘old red’.

The third and final chapter of the novel, entitled ‘Oshtata’ concerns the most heroic of women, Oshtata, who is Onan’s wife and the mother of Naram. She decides to avenge her husband and her son. After an interminable and exhausting battle with ‘the old red’, she herself dies, thinking that she has succeeded in getting rid of him.

The novel ends in an enigmatic spiral that affirms the continuity of an eternal struggle between human and divine will. The idea of revenge can destroy human life, as is shown by most of the novel's characters who fail to realize their hopes.

Category:Egyptian novels Category:2005 novels Category:Novels set in ancient Egypt Category:Arabic-language novels Category:Fictional hippopotamuses Category:Novels about animals

title: The Old Red Hippopotamus

question: Summarize the themes throughout the plot summary section of the text.

answer: Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will.

critique: The answer repeats the same theme multiple times.

critique: Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will. Themes of the story include revenge and the eternal struggle between human and divine will.

critique: There is no repeat in this answer, unlike the article.

critique: The repetition of the same sentence is unnecessary.

critique: The repetition of the same theme is unnecessary.

question: What does the story in the plot summary say about women/female people and creatures?

answer: The story mentions a goddess, Mora, who is the mistress of the village. The story also mentions a woman, Oshtata, who is Onan's wife and the mother of Naram. She decides to avenge her husband and her son.

critique: The answer omits the female hippopotamus.

critique: It's omitted that Oshtata is the most heroic of women.

critique: The story also mentions Myriam, Naram's wife.

critique: The story also mentions the hippopotamus' offspring.

critique: The answer omits that Mora is described as a beautiful brunette.

critique: The story also mentions a beautiful brunette.

critique: The response should include that the story also mentions the Old Red's offspring.

question: Summarize the plot twist in the story.

answer: The plot twist in the story is that the hippopotamus, the Old Red, is actually the protagonist of the story. The story is about the Old Red and his family. The villagers are the antagonists of the story. The Old Red is the protagonist because he is the one who is killed in the end.

critique: The response contains inaccurate information.

critique: The summary is not accurate. The story is not about the hippopotamus and his family.

critique: The story is not about the Old Red. The story is about the villagers and their revenge on the Old Red.

critique: The response is confusing and doesn't make sense.

critique: There is no plot twist of the hippopotamus being a protagonist. This is the opposite of the main character

question: Explain the significance of the eternal lake within the context of these plot developments.

answer: The lake is a source of food for the village, but the nearby hippopotamus live outside the village and are vicious to the people. Eventually, the villagers trap the only son of the hippopotamus, and in a fit of rage, the hippopotamus attacks the village directly. This act costs the lives of many characters, including the protagonist's son, so the protagonist decides to exact revenge by killing the hippopotamus, but the act ultimately costs them their own lives.

critique: The protagonist is Onan, not the hippopotamus.

critique: "and the protagonist decides to exact revenge by killing the hippopotamus," - there is no protagonist in this passage. Delete the second half of the sentence.

critique: The protagonist is Onan, not the protagonist.

critique: It is not stated that the protagonist is the only son of the hippopotamus.

critique: The answer is a summary of the plot, not of the lake.


text:
    During life people are called many things, some good, some bad. Within a short eight years I’ve been called; a student, worker, son, good listener, hero, savior, and many more. Since I was ten I’ve been talking people out of suicide online. During my eight years of helping people, I’ve helped many people, created an online organization, and learned many new things. This has forever and will constantly change my life.

    Many people ask me, how did this happen? How does a ten year old get mixed up with people’s lives? It was three days after my tenth birthday, the smell of my moms homemade cake was still tangible in the air. I logged onto the computer and found a chat room. I came across a man inside the room. He was talking about ending his life because his wife was cheating on him and getting his kids. My heart was in my ears beating hard, my palms were clammy and wet like a river. I talked with him till late in the night past any ten year olds bed time. This man was set and ready to die, a mere child stopped him. Me.

    A few months after helping the man, I met a girl my age who was rather interested in the “work” I did. She wanted to be part of the action. Lillie and I decided to work together helping people we would find in chat rooms. This continued for about a year. Lillie started to struggle with herself, the constant pressure of someone’s life in your hands at that young of an age takes a heavy toll upon the beholder. Lillie messaged me one night, “Dominic I have a problem” I asked her what it was and she stated, she wanted to die. She couldn’t take helping people anymore. I remember crying, panicking, wanting her to see it my way and not do what she was planning. It all ended so fast only three words remained “Lillie Signed Off.”

    Three years have passed since Lillie’s death, I created an online organization, filled with teens helping people out of dark thoughts. I created this organization in memory of Lillie. DarkShadows. DarkShadows, was constructed of teens from around the world, looking for people with suicidal thoughts that wanted to help prevent suicide. One hundred and ninety-seven teens joined DarkShadows. Each night we would have meetings and we would talk with one another to see if everyone was ok. I learned that this “job” is to hard for one child to take on alone day in and day out, there needs to be an escape route. DarkShadows showed some amazing results, the teens in DarkShadows were able to talk to five hundred plus people out of suicide. With every construction there is a destruction.

    I had a hard time destroying DarkShadows for I was proud of it. I closed down DarkShadows because the stress was enormous, two people were talking people into suicide, three people committed suicide from the pressure, and people started to not care. DarkShadows lasted three years and I was shocked that I could uphold it for so long, but I knew it had to go. I will never forget what I’ve learned from these past experiences.

    I’ve learned, many things over the past few years. I’ve learned that even though the world seems to burn like a raging fireball, there are many people out there still that care for others. I’ve learned that it doesn’t take a hero to save someone, you don’t need a utility belt, powers, cape, gadgets, or a “cool” name to save someone. All you need is a heart, and the will power, and the determination. Everyone is a hero in a way, you’re a hero to your kid, give someone some change for the bus, do something that is not expected from you. You are a hero.

    My life has changed drastically due to this “job”. I have become a better listener, I became mature, I met new people. I think back from when I was ten, I would have never imagined that helping that one guy would take me this far. I feel that due to this, I have a good understanding of people. I can “read” them easier. At times I have thought is it worth it? Is it worth spending hours upon hours helping someone that I don’t even know? When you help someone the end result of them being alive thanks to you is by far the best feeling you can think of. My life will never be the same due to this and for that I am grateful.

    During my short life span I’ve been a lot of things and experienced even more things. Do these names and experiences define me? Or simply give a better understanding of me? By helping one man live through the loss of his wife and kids. I met a great friend that I hold dear in my heart. I became a leader, making tough decisions for a lot of people. I learned, people still care for one another in this world. This has ultimately affected, and effected my life forever and I will never forget it. To be a Hero, you don’t need a cape or a utility belt, just a heart.

title: To Be A Hero You Need A Heart (True Story)

question: What would have happened if Lillie did not kill herself?

answer: Dominic owns and runs DarkShadows, a global organization that tries to help people in need as well as prevent suicide. If Lillie did not kill herself and was still part of his life, Dominic would have never created DarkShadows.

critique: The answer is a bit speculative. It is possible that Dominic would have started the group even if Lillie did not kill herself.

critique: "Dominic owns and runs DarkShadows, a global organization that tries to help people in need as well as prevent suicide. If Lillie did not kill herself and was still part of his life, Dominic would have never created DarkShadows." - this is incorrect. Dominic created DarkShadows because he was inspired by Lillie's death.

critique: Dominic created DarkShadows in memory of Lillie.


source_id: xAfJnAOjozUkRiUDxTnhbVfsQNJnbn

text:
The Instructor went about setting up the classroom, knowing that, without fail, the morning bell would ring long before she was truly ready to begin the day. It didn’t seem to matter when she arrived at work each morning, there was always too little time and too much to do. She distributed the day’s lessons discs among the student groupings, one for each of her pupils. Humming a tune, she cheerily went about her work.  The task completed, she went back to her notes, adamant that she had probably forgotten something. This worried her, knowing that even the smallest detail out of place would ruin the well-laid plans.

Triple checking the preparations for the day against her list, she straightened her hair, put on her coat, and made her way to the schoolyard. The students had just begun to arrive for the day, and were playing in the grassy field adjacent. She stood and watched, thinking to herself how the gender roles were already becoming apparent. The boys kicking a ball among themselves as the girls stood, clustered, looking on. Old habits died hard, she mused, even in 2013. For seventh graders, hormones had begun their playful dance. The Instructor knew that, given other circumstances, she’d soon be having ‘that talk’ with her students.  As she stood watching in the cold, the school’s bell rang out in cacophony. Another day had begun, though the Instructor alone knew that this one would be different.

The students filed in, taking their desks. Some were loading up homework assignments to be handed in, while others rushed frantically to complete them before the operating system discovered the work was not done. The Instructor stood, as she always did, at the front of the class; a cup of tea in one hand, a pen in the other. Though the archaic item has little to do in a classroom so filed with the technology of modernity, old habits died hard. The Instructor had always played with a pen while teaching, and always would regardless of how old fashioned the students may say it looked.

The call came over the announcement system and the class came to order, rising for the O Canada and the school’s morning messages. The Instructor mouthed along the words while her students sang. She had never felt the same pride at singing the national anthem as others had, even as a child she had thought it silly. Maybe, she mused, that was why they had recruited her so many years ago.

A phone buzzed in the Instructor’s pocket, and she spared it a glance while the students took their seats and listened to the voice in the wall welcome students. A simple message; a single word: “Go”.  As the morning messages droned on she walked among her students, ensuring that everyone had a lesson disc. She fingered the phone in her pocket, feeling its smooth glass. Feeling where the message had appeared. Feeling the future change. The Instructor smiled.

Calling the class to order, she instructed the Operating System to collect homework for the day. There was a groan as the students still frantically attempting to write answers were cut off from their work and demerit points issued. The students plugged themselves into their desks, their neural ports interfacing with the long cords running from the center of their groupings; One cord for each student, one neural port for each cord. The students snatched up the lesson discs and inserted them into the hungry mouth of the desk, each humming as it greedily accepted the students’ offering.  As each student closed their eyes and began to load the program, the Instructor typed a single word into her own desk: “Go”.

One by one the programs shot their payload into the student’s brains. One by one a billion billion synapses fired and burnt out. One by one the students slumped over at their desks, dead in an instant. Their central nervous system fried by the viruses on their lesson discs.

The Instructor stood watching, taking a sip of her tea, her fingers twilling the pen. Sitting at her desk she snapped the phone into the computer interface and dialed. A face appeared on the screen in front of her.

“Report?” the figure asked, no hint of emotion in his voice.

“The future is dead” the Instructor replied. “Glory be to the cause”.

“Glory be” the figure agreed. “Connect to the neural net for final instructions”.

The figure cut out and the screen grew dark. The Instructor reached forward and removed the long cord from its cradle on the desk. Inserting it into her neural port she entered a string of commands that comprised the access codes to the Organizations’ private secureweb. She closed her eyes waiting for the instructions to download. She smiled, knowing her part was done and her mission had been a success; a mission she had spent years preparing for. The smile never left the Instructor’s lips as she slumped over at her desk, her fate no different from that of her students.

In a room far away the figure looked up from his work station and nodded to the Leader. “Mission GJS-930A complete. Glory be to the cause”.

“Glory be” the Leader nodded.

title: [SF] "The Future is Dead" [X-Post SFSTories]

question: What does the story say about the Instructor's goal?

answer: The Instructor's goal is to kill her students. She is a member of an organization that wants to kill all the students in the world. The Instructor is assigned to kill her students using a virus on the lesson discs. She succeeds in her mission.

critique: The Instructor's goal is not to kill her students. It is to kill the future.

critique: The answer is a little confusing. It should be rewritten.

critique: The answer is misleading. It's not that the instructor wants to kill her students. She wants to kill all the students in the world.

critique: The Instructor is not killing all the students in the world. She is killing her students.

critique: More important to note that she's a part of the organization.

critique: The Instructor isn't killing all students in the world.

question: What does the story say about the role of neural ports?

answer: The neural ports were used by students to interface their central nervous system with the long cords running from their groupings. The students plugged themselves into their desks, which had hungry mouths. The cords from the groupings had one cord per student and one neural port per cord. The students inserted lesson discs into the desks, which stimulated the student's neural ports.

critique: The response contains a lot of unnecessary information.

critique: "The neural ports were used by students to interface their central nervous system with the long cords running from their groupings." - the roles of neural ports and the connections to long cords from groupings in the story were very confusing. Rewrite the sentence to better clarify the connection.

critique: The answer should mention that the neural ports are used to transmit viruses.

critique: The sentence about the hungry mouths is unnecessary.

question: What does the story say about 'the cause'?

answer: No answer

critique: The response misses to mention that the cause is not explicitly stated in the story.

critique: This response does not answer the task completely and needs to be rewritten to reflect more of what is stated in this copied response.

critique: The response misses to mention that the cause is not explicitly stated in the story, but it is implied that the cause is to eliminate the future.

critique: The response misses to answer the instruction.

critique: The response misses to mention that the cause is never revealed in the story.

question: Summarize the Leader's background.

answer: No answer


text:
I told her it was amazing and that she has a talent, but she sometimes doubts herself, and considers me biased because we're dating, but I truly think it's a gripping start. It may have some grammatical and spelling errors, but please, I'd love to hear your opinion.

“What are you drawing again?” I asked five-year-old Madeline. Madeline looked down at her paper with the big jumble of colors and giggled. “I think it’s a dinosaur now. It used to be a bird.” I nodded and watched her carefully select another crayon out of the big box on the floor. We were sitting on our back porch in the middle of September. September, 2186. I lied on my back to look up through the trees at the sky and Madeline started singing to herself. Grandma would want us to come in for lunch soon and Madeline would want to feed hers to the dog. I closed my eyes and held my breath. The wind blew my hair around my forehead. Suddenly everything was shaking. I sat up in alarm and Madeline stopped singing. We both looked up at the trees, which were being abandoned by all of the animals that lived in them. “Bristol…?” Madeline whispered in a shaky voice. “We have to get inside,” I replied, standing up. We waited there a few moments more, mesmerized by the haunting scene of the quaking earth and the leaves that were being shaken from the trees. I snapped out of it and turned to Madeline, pulling her to her feet. “NOW!” I yelled over the sound of the rumbling. She pulled away from me, grabbing her drawings and throwing the crayons, which had been scattered all over the floor, back into the box. “Madeline! We don’t have time!” I tried to grab her, but she yanked herself free and continued gathering her things as quickly as she could. I looked at her helplessly before dropping to my knees and hastily helping her collect her crayons. It was getting closer. “Madeline…” I whispered, defeated. A feeling of déjà vu washed over me. I knew this feeling too well. I couldn’t place it, but this all felt very familiar and I was getting more uneasy every second. “We have to leave the rest. Madeline, please! We must go inside now!” Madeline cradled her box of crayons and drawings and rose to her feet. Just as she was standing, something long and black wrapped around her waist. Madeline looked down in confusion and then back up at me. I frantically reached for her, trying to pull the mysterious thing from her waist. She dropped her box and tried to grab me; tried to keep herself on the ground, but it was too late. The long black arm was lifting her off the porch. “Bris!” Madeline screamed in terror. She was held horizontally above me, looking down in fear. I was yelling her name and jumping, trying to reach one of her ankles or hands, trying to bring her down. My hand got a hold of something, but she was pulled into the sky, screaming. I started crying. I yelled up into the empty trees, now free of life and nearly leafless. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?” I kept yelling and sobbing until my voice was weak. I looked around at the piles of leaves on the ground that had not been there just minutes ago. Then I remembered. There was something in my hand – something I had grabbed when trying to reach for her. I tried to steady my breathing as I looked down. The picture she had been working on, the bird/dinosaur, was slightly crumpled in my hand.

Bristol opened his eyes to find his pillow soaked with tears. He flipped it over and wiped is face dry. This time the memory was from eight years ago, when he and Madeline had been visiting their grandmother. Madeline was only five and Bristol was seven at the time. He looked over at his clock. It was 4:27 in the morning. For eleven nights in a row, now he had the nightmare. It was always a different, random memory and the way she was kidnapped always changed, but no matter where, when or how, each nightmare had two things in common: Madeline was always there, and she was always taken. The night before, they had been at the fair with their father – a memory from five years ago – and she had been whisked away by big men in black suits. In reality, Madeline had disappeared almost two years ago, when she was eleven, but Bristol’s mind was distorting memories from years before that and coming up with the strangest ways for her to have been kidnapped. He sat up and looked out the window, down at the cars passing by. He wondered what people could be doing and why they were out and about at such an early hour. Bristol lived on a busy street and no matter what time it was, there were always people, all rushing to get somewhere. He pressed his forehead to the window and watched the condensation appear and fade away as he breathed. For the past 20 months, no matter where he was or what he was doing, there was always one question pushing its way to the front of his mind – always wanting an answer. Would he ever see her again? A faint sound snapped Bristol’s attention away from the street below. His mother was crying in the next room and his father was whispering words of consolation that he couldn’t make out. Bristol sighed and lied back in bed, staring at the ceiling until it was time to start the day.

title: My doubtful girlfriend started writing a story. What does Reddit think?

question: What does the story say about Bristol and Madeline's school?

answer: No answer

critique: There is no mention of Madeline and Bristol's school.

critique: There is no answer because there is no mention of their school.

question: What is the theme of the story?

answer: The theme of the story is loss.

critique: The theme is the loss of a loved one, not just loss in general.

critique: This is only partially correct. It needs to give details about the loss.

critique: The theme is loss of a loved one, not loss in general.

critique: The theme is the loss of a loved one, but it is also about the loss of hope.

critique: The theme of loss is not explicitly stated.

critique: The theme of the story is the loss of a loved one.

question: What does the text say about Madeline?

answer: Madeline is Bristol's younger sister. She disappeared two years ago when she was eleven. Bristol has been having nightmares about her disappearance for eleven nights in a row. In his nightmares, Madeline is always there and she is always taken.

critique: The answer is incorrect. Madeline is Bristol's younger sister. She disappeared two years ago when she was eleven. Bristol has been having nightmares about her disappearance for eleven nights in a row. In his nightmares, Madeline is always there and she is always taken.

critique: The fact that Madeline is Bristol's sister is not mentioned in the text.

critique: The answer should mention that Madeline is Bristol's younger sister.

critique: The answer says that Madeline is Bristol's sister. Madeline is Bristol's younger sister.

question: Why can't Bristol save Madeline in any of his nightmares?

answer: Because he can't save her in real life.

critique: The answer is not related to the question.

critique: The answer is incorrect. Bristol is able to save Madeline in his dreams.

critique: "Because he can't save her in real life." - is incorrect. Bristol can't save Madeline in his dreams because he's not in the same time period as Madeline.

critique: The answer could be phrased as a complete sentence.

critique: The reason why Bristol can't save Madeline in any of his nightmares is because she disappeared two years ago.


text:
I woke up too quickly. I’m convinced that humans are not meant to wake up like this. We are meant to wake up with the sun, not by an insufferable artificial beep. Although I don’t think cavemen spent their first twenty minutes in bed reading through social media, and being annoyed at themselves for being interested in the happenings all of the people that they hate. I don’t care about Jessica’s feelings about cyclists on the road, but her ignorance interests me. I don’t care about how Colleen’s barista misheard her name and wrote Holly on the cup instead. How did cavemen have frenemies?

The antidote to waking up like a reanimated corpse is caffeine, which annoys me. I need the caffeine to escape a 1pm headache, but I don’t get the stimulant effects anymore. I drink it because I have to. It’s hard to explain the juxtaposition of disliking our capitalist society, and relying on it. After my coffee, I wrestle my chef jacket on, pull on my boots, and go to work. I don’t understand the hospitality industry, and I feel sorry for the people who enjoy it. The managers at work seem to love what they do, pleasing the customers and all that, but then they are in charge of young people who just need the $20 an hour to supplement their student lifestyle. I autopilot my shift and then go to the park bench on top of the hill behind my house. I love it. I love the view. I can see the whole city and the surrounding mountain ranges. After about a minute I’ve had enough of the view so I take a photo (might share it later, for my frenemies) and head home to play some Playstation. I spend a lot of time on my Playstation, but I have carefully omitted that fact from my social networking persona. To my frenemies, I enjoy reading literary classics, I watch television, but only “good” stuff, like stuff on HBO that has good reviews online, and I love being outside, just inhaling the nature and all that. They don’t know that I actually spend my time on the Playstation, watching plenty of non-HBO TV, and I recently read Fifty Shades of Grey (which I hated). Hey Anastasia, you didn’t even like this guy at the start, then he gives you some weirdo contract and you’re considering flipping everything you’ve ever known? Why? Where did that come from? You can’t look him in the eyes unless he gives permission AND YOU’RE CONSIDERING IT!? It’s time for me to head to a new café somewhere in the city. I reach for a Penguin Classic and find Of Mice and Men. Awesome. A real classic.

I pay $4.20 for my long black and take a photo of it with Of Mice and Men. Great shot, I should thank the guy for making a coffee with a perfect crema. I drink my coffee (which is not worth $4.20) and read through the social networks. I’m not the only person to upload a coffee photo today, but mine is the only long black (I win, frenemies). How do digital ‘likes’ translate to sexual attraction? Because Pamela ‘liked’ my coffee! God damn it I’m attracted to her. Some girls just really interest me, and I fantasize about somehow befriending them for ages before I finally talk to them. Pamela used to work with me, and I didn’t talk to her until we became digital friends. She’s the person always in the back of my mind when I’m posting my stuff online. She likes reading literary classics, watching HBO TV shows, and nature. She has given me a few ‘likes’ in the last few days. It’s time to make the move. I send her a message, asking if she wants to try this new vegan café that I have heard about (neither of us are vegan, but it seems like a cool café). Facebook is telling me that she has ‘seen’ the message. It’s been 5 minutes. Now it’s been 7. She replies after 15. Torture. It’s on! We are going tomorrow. I regret saying “lock it in, Eddie” in regards to our date though. Damn.

Today is the day. I’m wearing a polo shirt (classy, but not too formal) and some jeans (safe). I get to the café early and awkwardly look around for her. She’s not here yet, so I sit down and check the social networks. I don’t want to be on Facebook when she gets here, so I open a news article and get ready to switch apps when I see her. I see her walk in. She’s wearing a summery dress and her hair is out. She looks amazing. She sits down opposite me and I get a whiff of some delicious perfume.
“Hey, how are you? Have you been here long?” Pamela asks me. She’s wearing red lipstick.
“Good! No, I literally just sat down.” I lie. Don’t want to seem desperate.
“Shall we order?”
I order a long black, and she orders a latte. We both pay for our own drinks, because it’s 2014. I burn my tongue, but I pretend that I didn’t. She puts 2 sugars in her coffee, and that’s the first thing that I have disliked about her. Just order hot milk and sugar, because you can’t taste the coffee anymore. We talk about Game of Thrones, but she hasn’t read the books. I hate when that happens. You can’t talk about the best bits because they haven’t been televised yet. I also realise that she doesn’t understand the plot. I guess it’s pretty complicated, but I feel like she has been playing Candy Crush while she was watching it or something. We also talk about Catcher in the Rye, but I don’t think she has read that either. I think she just called the main character Halder. She asks me if I watch Big Brother. I ask myself if anyone still watches Big Brother. Finally, we talk about Twilight. I read the books a few years ago, and I sort of see them as a joke. She seems to really be into them. Fair enough, they were easy to read and interesting in a pulp fiction sort of way, but I think saying, “I wish Edward was real” is taking it a bit too far. After stumbling through some more topics, we leave the café. I give her a hug when we say goodbye, but I feel a bit disappointed. She was not as interesting as I thought. Her whole online persona seems like a façade. It’s a bit dishonest really. If I had known that she liked Twilight with zero irony, and that she hasn’t really read or watched what she said she has, I probably wouldn’t have come.

title: [HM][UR] The Social Networks

question: What does the story say about what the narrator is disillusioned by?

answer: They've made a connection with Pamela and decide to take her out for a chat over a cup of cofee. The narrator enjoys talking about Game of Thrones, especially because Pamela hasn't read the books, which is not a good thing to the narrator because they can't talk about the best parts that haven't been televised yet. She also made some preposterous claims about the books. They chat about Catcher in the Rye, but the narrator notes that Pamela has not read the book. The narrator is really disappointed that she pretended to like Twilight, and found she wasn't really interested in anything over lunch. She revealed that her persona on social media isn't as thick as they thought it was.

critique: The narrator's disappointment with Pamela is not the same as the narrator's disillusionment. The narrator's disillusionment is that Pamela's online personality is different from what she really is.

critique: The narrator is not disillusioned by Pamela's claims about the books.

critique: It would be much better to just to acknowledge that Pamela has been a disappointment to the narrator.

critique: The narrator is not disillusioned by Pamela.

critique: The narrator's disappointment is more about Pamela's personality and interests than it is about her lying about them.

critique: The narrator's disappointment is not due to Pamela's claims about the books.


text:
JOHN QUIRKE (2 May 1911 – 24 August 1983) was an Irish hurler who played as a right corner-forward for the Cork senior team.

Regarded as one of Cork's greatest-ever players, Quirke made his first appearance for the team during the 1932 championship and was a regular member of the starting fifteen until his retirement after the 1946 championship. During that time, he won four All-Ireland medals, four Munster medals and two National League medals. Quirke was an All-Ireland runner-up on one occasion.

At club level, Quirke was a three-time county club championship medalist with Blackrock.

Quirke's sister, Dolly Leahy, was an All-Ireland medalist in camogie with Cork.

Playing career

Club

Quirke played his club hurling with the famous Blackrock club and enjoyed much success.

In 1929, he was just out of the minor grade when he lined out in his first championship decider at senior level. A 5–6 to 2–2 defeat of fierce city rivals St. Finbarr's gave Quirke his first championship medal.

Blackrock reached the county final once again in 1930. A 3–8 to 1–3 defeat of Glen Rovers gave Quirke a second successive championship medal.

1931 presented Blackrock with the chance to complete a hat-trick of championship titles. A decisive 2–4 to 0–3 of Éire Óg gave Quirke his third successive championship medal. Blackrock would not win another championship for twenty-five years.

Cork

Quirke first played for Cork when he was drafted onto the minor team during the 1929 Munster Minor Championship. He made his only appearance in the grade on 20 October 1929 when he lined out at centre-back in Cork's 2-01 to 0-02 defeat by Tipperary.

As county champions, Quirke's club Blackrock had the selection of the Cork senior team for the 1932 Munster Championship. A dispute arose between the club and the Cork County Board when the system was changed and some senior players boycotted the team, however, Quirke was one of a number of new additions to a team that held both the Munster and All-Ireland titles. He made his championship debut on 12 June 1932 when he lined out at left corner-forward in a 5-06 to 1-05 victory over Waterford, but was switched to left wing-forward when Cork suffered a 5-02 to 4-01 defeat by Clare in the 1932 Munster final.[1]

By the start of the 1939 Munster Championship Quirke, who had been one of Cork's most consistent forwards since his debut, found himself switched to the centre-back position in an effort to stymie the influence of Limerick's star forward Mick Mackey. He claimed his first Munster Championship medal that year after a 4-03 to 3-04 victory over Limerick in the final. On 3 September 1939, Quirke lined out at centre-back when Cork suffered a 2-07 to 3-03 defeat by Kilkenny in the “thunder and Lightning” All-Ireland final.[2]

Although defeated in the All-Ireland decider, Cork continued their breakthrough in 1940. An 8–9 to 6–4 defeat of Tipperary in the decider gave Quirke his first National Hurling League medal. He added a second winners' medal to his collection in 1941 following a defeat of Dublin.

An outbreak of foot and mouth disease severely hampered the 1941 championship. As a result of this, Cork was nominated to represent the province in the All-Ireland series. Quirke was on the team for the final against Dublin, however, it turned into a one-sided affair thanks to contributing goals from Quirke himself and Ted O'Sullivan. At the full-time whistle, Cork had won by 5–11 to 0–6. It was one of the most one-sided championship deciders of all-time, however, it did give Quirke an All-Ireland medal.

Quirke added a second Munster medal to his collection in 1942 as Tipp were downed by 4–15 to 4–1. The All-Ireland final was a replay of the previous year with Dublin providing the opposition once again. The game was a close affair with just a point separating the sides at the three-quarter stage. In the end Cork won comfortably enough by 2–14 to 3–4 and Quirke collected a second All-Ireland medal.

A 2–13 to 3–8 defeat of Waterford in 1943 gave Quirke a third Munster medal. He later lined out in a fourth All-Ireland decider with Antrim becoming the first Ulster side to qualify for a final. Unfortunately, the occasion got to the Glensmen as Cork built up an unassailable 3–11 to 0–2 half-time lead. The final score of 5–16 to 0–4 gave Cork their second-ever hat-trick of All-Ireland titles while it also gave Quirke a third All-Ireland medal.[3]

In 1944, Cork was attempting to capture a fourth All-Ireland title in-a-row. No team in the history of the hurling championship had won more than three consecutive titles. The year got off to a good start when Cork defeated Limerick by 4–6 to 3–6 after a replay to give Quirke a fourth Munster medal. For the third time in four years Cork faced Dublin in an All-Ireland decider. Joe Kelly was the hero of the day and he contributed greatly to Cork's 2–13 to 1–2 victory. It was a remarkable fourth successive All-Ireland medal for Quirke.[4]

Five-in-a-row proved to be a bridge too far for Cork, however, the team returned in 1946. A 3–9 to 1–6 defeat of Waterford allowed Cork to advance to another Munster final. Unfortunately for Quirke, that semi-final victory was his last championship game for Cork.

Inter-provincial

Murphy also had the honour of being selected for Munster in the inter-provincial series of games. He made his debut with the province in 1936 and was a regular until his retirement in 1945.[5]

In 1936, Quirke was one of only two Corkonians to line out in the inter-provincial decider. A narrow 2–8 to 3–4 defeat by fierce rivals Leinster was the result on that occasion.

In spite of a defeat in his debut season, the province went on to dominate the rest of the decade. Defeats of Leinster in 1937 and 1938 gave Quirke his first two Railway Cup medals.

Quirke was dropped from the starting fifteen in 1939, however, he won a third Railway Cup medal as a non-playing substitute following a 4–4 to 1–6 defeat of Leinster. He was reinstated to the starting fifteen the following year and won a fourth winners' medal as Leinster were downed once again.

Munster surrendered their title to Leinster the following year, however, the province went on to dominate the rest of the decade once again. Defeats of Leinster (1942, 1943), Connacht (1944) and Ulster (1945) brought Quirke's Railway Cup medal tally to eight.

Death

On 24 August 1983, Quirke died aged 72 at the North Infirmary in Cork after unexpectedly taking ill. He was survived by his wife Hannah.

Honours

Team

Blackrock

-   Cork Senior Club Hurling Championship (3): 1929, 1930, 1931

Cork

-   All-Ireland Senior Hurling Championship (4): 1941, 1942, 1943, 1944
-   Munster Senior Hurling Championship (4): 1939, 1942, 1943, 1944
-   National Hurling League (2): 1939–40, 1940–41

Munster

-   Railway Cup (8): 1937, 1938, 1939 (sub), 1940, 1942, 1943, 1944, 1945 (sub)

[1]

[2]

[3]

[4]

[5]

title: Johnny Quirke

question: How many teams did Quirke play for and which of the clubs did he win the most titles with?

answer: Quirke played for Cork and Blackrock. He won the most titles with Blackrock.

text: The response is incorrect. Quirke won more titles with Cork.

question: According to the passage, what made Quirke so successful on the field?

answer: He was a very talented player.

critique: The article does not answer this question.

critique: The answer should mention the team's success.

critique: The answer should mention his playing position.

critique: The answer should mention his experience.

critique: The answer should point out that answers can't always be found in a biography.


text:
John glances down from the road for just a second to wipe the stray ashes of a particularly rogue cigarette from his vest. Still dark, but night's knack for alleviating the mind of responsibility will soon be brushed away just as casually by first light.

We drive in silence, but a comfortable one, not one where the mind is painfully aware of each passing second sans conversation. I lean my head against the passenger side window at such an angle that you'd think the passing oaks were skyscrapers. Every exhalation frosts the glass and the skyscrapers lose a touch of clarity. I move to wipe the condensation then think better of it. It occurs to me that from inside this temporary home I prefer a softer exterior.

We hit a major road for the first time since the start of the drive and I stifle some of reality's throes by closing my eyes. I open them a few seconds later and see for the first time just how empty the road really is. A highly congested passage in the light, 4am darkness lends our path a sort of eerie vacancy, like something out of a movie.

"I always love this part," a voice half-whispers from the backseat. It occurs to me then that this really is a movie, with showings every weekend, not always the same but with similar runtimes and ensemble cast. This scene is a familiar one to our four beloved leads, and marks the most bittersweet act of the film- it's conclusion.

A light fog settles around the street lights blurring by and as far in front of the car as its headlights can illuminate. I no longer care about the breath on my window for it seems God himself has exhaled down on our glass planet, dusting its surface as far as Earth's curvature would allow. We rocket forward like a meteor in reverse, following our contrail, chasing an unobtainable darkness lying about ten or so feet in front of the car. Perhaps now a company of strings swells and quiets the audience. Cut to exterior of lone car drifting. I write my name on a foggy canvas, seeing clearly through the letters.

"Who's first?" John asks. The backseat is silent. We approach atmosphere.

"I'm closest."

John wordlessly accepts my indirect answer and keeps right at a fork. Something jumps in my chest and I push it down. We can all feel the heat now.

I say goodbye to the uniformly distant streetlights of the main road and am greeted by the more irregular glow of softer, residential ones. They seem to console at each passing

"It's okay it's okay it's okay" What do they know.

Every house we pass sports its own mailbox, front yard, and driveway.  This place is older than the 1950's suburban sprawl so each home is similar but not identical. They cluster then fade, the train picking up once again after a patch of trees passes or around the curve of a cul-de-sac. Porch lights wink at me through branches. Still dark, I think maybe dawn won't come. The heat is almost unbearable.

We navigate a labyrinth of dark roads till finally reaching our destination.  As the car rolls to a stop I know that now is when the people on Earth can spot us. A good telescope or naked eye in a dark place will do the trick. Look closely this will go fast.

I swing my legs outside and let my body follow. Somewhere far away I hear the sound of my car door closing. We're burning we're burning. I turn around to face John and the two in the backseat. We are silent now, uncomfortably, and I say the first thing I think

"Thanks."

As soon as I hear it I wonder why I said it. Favors like rides home are unspoken courtesy, a tradition more than a gesture. Perhaps John notices my face twist in embarrassment.

"Yeah," he says, but wisely, knowingly, simultaneously acknowledging and dismissing my having said anything.

"Wow there it goes," someone somewhere says.  We burn red-orange for two seconds at most then smolder and fade once more into black space.

Then they are gone and I am left alone in the street in front of my house. The strings are silent, the fog is lifting. I feel for my key and hope that I've lost it. Clutching its cold outline in my pocket I make my way towards the house, growing ever-further away from my home. I imagine I now hurdle quickly and unimpressively towards Earth's surface. In moments I will crash into some sprawling ocean. I take a few steps forward and smell perfume, see hair and hear laughing. Maybe you saw me flying. Cut to close-up, our protagonist wracked with memory. Then medium, slow fade. The dark blue of the ocean water matches the hue of the early-morning sky above me. No longer dark.

Sunrise,
loveset.

title: Haley's Comet

question: What does the story reveal about the characters' trip?

answer: The characters are on a trip. They are driving in silence, and the narrator is leaning their head against the passenger side window. They are on a major road for the first time since the start of the drive. The characters are four beloved leads, and the scene is a familiar one to them.

critique: The characters are not on a trip. They are driving.

critique: "The characters" - is incorrect. The narrator is on a trip with John and two others.

critique: The characters are not on a trip. They are on a drive.

critique: The last sentence does not help describe their trip, and the majority of the answer is incorrect. While the characters are driving in silence, the four of them are not beloved leads of a film, and the scene is not familiar.  Also, the trip is probably anything but familiar.

critique: The characters are not on a trip. They are going home.

question: Why is the narrator reluctant to return to their house?

answer: They feel that their home is not a place of comfort.

critique: This answer is not a reason for the narrator's reluctance to return to their house.

critique: The narrator is not reluctant to return to their house.

critique: The narrator is not reluctant to return to their home. They are grateful to John for driving them home.

critique: This is a reasonable assumption, but it is not explicitly stated in the passage.

critique: The narrator's reluctance to return home is not explicitly stated.

critique: While it is a possibility, it is not stressed in the story.

critique: The narrator's reluctance is not described in the text.

question: What does the story tell us about the narrator's relationship with the others in the car?

answer: The narrator is on a road trip with John and two other people. They are all friends. The narrator is the one who is closest to John. They are all silent and uncomfortable when the narrator thanks John for the ride.

critique: The narrator is not the one who is closest to John.

critique: Two of the party members are never identified.

critique: The narrator isn't the one who is closest to John.

critique: The response include extraneous information not useful for the task.

critique: The narrator's relationship with John is not explicitly stated.

text: Remove the road trip detail.

question: What does the passage say about what the narrator does on a day-to-day basis?

answer: No answer

critique: The narrator describes their drive home from a night out with friends.

critique: The passage does not say anything about the narrator's day-to-day life.

critique: The passage does not say anything about what the narrator does on a day-to-day basis.

critique: The passage does not mention what the narrator does on a day-to-day basis.


text:
[]

LAPAROSCOPY is a minimally invasive surgical technique used in procedures as a diagnostic tool or for surgeries such as removal of the uterus, fibroids, ovarian cysts, pelvic adhesions, endometriosis etc. For many procedures, such as removal of an ectopic pregnancy, treatment of endometriosis, or ovarian cystectomy, laparoscopy has become the treatment of choice.

Compared with laparotomy, multiple studies have shown laparoscopy to be safer and to have a shorter recovery time Bedekar Hospital has facilities for basic and advance laproscopic/ keyhole surgery.We have all latest equipment for the same.

INDICATIONS

DIAGNOSTIC LAPAROSCOPY
Frequently, the physician needs to assess the pelvis for acute or chronic pain, ectopic pregnancy, endometriosis, adnexal torsion, or other pelvic pathology, or for determination of tubal patency.

TUBAL STERILIZATION
Trocar placement is similar to diagnostic laparoscopy. Bipolar electrosurgery, clips, or silastic bands may be used to occlude the tubes

LYSIS OF ADHESION
Adhesions may form due to prior infection, such as a ruptured appendix or pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), endometriosis, or previous surgery. Adhesions may contribute to infertility or chronic pelvic pain. The chances of pregnancy after lysis of adhesions is relatively low for most patients, and this type of surgery has been largely supplanted by in vitro fertilization and embryo transfer. Likewise, adhesiolysis is often ineffective in curing chronic pelvic pain, in part because most adhesions rapidly reform after surgery.

Adhesions may be lysed by blunt or sharp dissection.

TREATMENT OF ENDOMETRIOSIS
Endometriosis, a cause of female infertility, is a condition in which endometrial tissue, the tissue that lines the inside of the uterus, grows outside the uterus and attaches to other organs in the abdominal cavity such as the ovaries and fallopian tubes. Endometriosis is a progressive disease that tends to get worse over time and can reoccur after treatment. Symptoms include painful menstrual periods, abnormal menstrual bleeding and pain during or after sexual intercourse.

The blood that is shed from the endometrial tissue in your abdominal cavity has no place to go, resulting in pools of blood causing an inflammation that forms scar tissue. The scar tissue can block the fallopian tubes or interfere with ovulation. Another result of endometriosis is the formation of ovarian cysts called endometrioma that may also interfere with ovulation.

Laparoscopy is the most common procedure used to diagnose and treat endometriosis.10 Endometriotic lesions may be resected or ablated. Both of these techniques have shown to improve fertility and decrease pelvic pain.

TREATMENT OF ECTOPIC PREGNANCY
Ectopic pregnancy is a pregnancy that implants and grows outside the uterine cavity; either in the fallopian tubes or ovary or rarely in the abdominal cavity. With advances in sonography ectopic pregnancy can be diagnosed very early before itruptures causing heavy blood loss. If surgical treatment is required for ectopic pregnancy it is bettermanaged by laparoscopic surgery. A salpingostomy or salpingectomy may be performed to remove the embryo and gestational sac.

POLYCYSTIC OVARIES
In some women, the follicle (egg) manages to grow but is unable to rupture leading to formation of small grape like cysts within the ovary. These cysts contain androgenic hormones impairing fertility. While rupture of the eggs can be induced in some of the women, a segment of these woman may be resistant to the drugs(thick capsule).These women may need surgical drilling of the ovary, where puncture holes are made in both ovaries using monopolar current through the endoscope. Good results are seen following this surgery.

question: What is the difference between laparoscopy and laparotomy?

answer: Laparoscopy is a minimally invasive surgical technique used in procedures as a diagnostic tool or for surgeries such as removal of the uterus, fibroids, ovarian cysts, pelvic adhesions, endometriosis etc. Laparotomy is a more invasive surgical technique used in procedures as a diagnostic tool or for surgeries such as removal of the uterus, fibroids, ovarian cysts, pelvic adhesions, endometriosis etc.

critique: The answer is incorrect. The question is not asking for a definition of laparoscopy.

critique: The answer is a copy and paste of the first paragraph of the article.